What to do if you can’t find a job: depression or the evil eye

Depression, fear, learned helplessness - these are not all the psychological barriers that prevent us from finding a job. Work.ua found out from psychologists what other psychological reasons there are for failure to find a job.

It happens that the reason for the inability to find a suitable job is not external factors, but internal reasons and psychological states. We asked our experts what they are and how they can be weakened or even eliminated.

Yulia Sulaeva

psychotherapist, trainer, head of the Content training center

Depression

The impact of depression on one's ability to find a job is often underestimated. But in vain. The current pace of life, the pursuit of achievements and constant stress have led to the fact that every fifth person is faced with this unpleasant condition quite seriously. Main symptoms: low vitality, pessimism, lack of motivation, loss of interest in life, inability to have fun, inability to make decisions and concentrate on achievements, chronic fatigue, increased or decreased appetite, insomnia or excessive sleepiness, decreased sexual desire. A distinction should be made between short-term depressive states, which are a reaction to grief, loss, stress, changes in health status, and long-term depressive states, which last from several months to several years. And no matter how much others urge a depressed person to pull himself together, stop moping and strive for achievements, it does not help. Depression is an illness and requires a different kind of help.

What to do

If you have discovered most of the symptoms, and they are quite pronounced, remember how long this condition lasts. In the current quarantine situation, almost all of us are experiencing depressive periods as a stage of experiencing a loss of stability and certainty.

a) If the depressive state is not long-lasting, don’t worry and give yourself the opportunity to live through it. Get plenty of rest, don’t scold yourself for low productivity, and replenish your resources whenever possible. This could be contact with nature, delicious food, warm communication with loved ones, communication with animals, etc. Some simple and accessible things that make you feel full.

b) If depression lasts more than a month, seek help. A competent psychotherapist will determine the cause of your condition and the method of treatment. Sometimes depression can only be dealt with through psychotherapy, and in some cases it will be necessary to also see a psychiatrist and receive medication treatment.

Learned helplessness

Sometimes, in the event of experiencing a strong fiasco, loss, crisis, and most often, from a long series of failures, a person falls into a state called “learned helplessness.” At the same time, the ground under my feet is lost, my hands give up, and I get the feeling that all my efforts are in vain and nothing depends on me. This greatly affects motivation, since it is influenced not only by desires and needs, but also by an assessment of the ability to achieve what you want. If there is no confidence that “I can, I can succeed,” then there is no readiness to invest particularly in achieving the desired goal.

What to do

a) Think about the fact that every failure is an experience and another step towards achievement. All successful people initially went through a series of mistakes and failures. For example, Edison made about 10,000 unsuccessful experiments while trying to improve the incandescent light bulb and did not give up.

b) Create your own experience of successful achievements, your “List of Achievements.” Make a to-do list for the day, including very simple and easy tasks at first. Let there be more than 20 items on this list. For example, get up in the morning and do 5 squats, brush your teeth, drink coffee, call a friend, read 1 page of a book, look at vacancies, choose the right ones, send 2 resumes, etc. After each completed task, mark it on the list. Strive to ensure that all tasks are completed by the end of the day. This will gradually create the experience of success and the feeling that you are influencing your life. As your sense of confidence increases, you can add more complex and important things to the list.

Inadequate self-esteem

Both low and high self-esteem hinders you from finding a job. From a psychological point of view, these are two sides of the same coin, since a person inflates his own grandiosity due to the fact that he feels insignificant inside. The key to achievements, successful development, a healthy mental state and harmonious relationships with others is an accepting, warm attitude towards oneself and an adequate understanding of one’s strengths and weaknesses.

What to do

a) Sit comfortably, relax, close your eyes and say the phrase “Despite the fact that I ... (the main claim against myself), I completely love and accept myself.” Listen to your inner feelings. If this phrase causes rejection and other unpleasant emotions, this topic requires elaboration. Repeat it daily and watch how your sensations change.

b) Remember what messages in most cases you received from your parents as a child. Whether it was more criticism or whether you received more support and encouragement. Usually, a sufficient amount of support and the absence of severe stress in childhood form a fairly adequate self-esteem. If this does not happen, then you can correct the situation now. Imagine yourself little and write that boy or girl a letter with words of support and encouragement. Re-read it from time to time.

c) Make a list of 20 points why you are good . Include both personal and professional qualities.

d) And only after you feel that your attitude towards yourself has warmed up, make a list of qualities and skills that you want to improve in yourself. Outline the first steps towards achieving them.

No desire to work

If you've been looking for a job for a long time, but you still can't find one, explore whether you really have a desire to work. If there is no desire to work, then the employer easily “considers” this. And you will always find unacceptable shortcomings in the vacancies offered, subconsciously rejecting even good options. The reasons for the lack of such a desire may be different. It happens that a person has experienced many unpleasant situations at his previous job and is subconsciously afraid of their repetition. Perhaps, due to excessive tension, zeal and regular overload, I received “professional burnout”, and in this state there is absolutely no desire to work. The cause may be depression, which is described above. Perhaps you are doing something that you don’t like, or you have already grown out of it. Or there is a strong desire for another person, for example, a marriage partner, to provide. So a woman can dream of taking care of the house and raising children, and entrusting the financial support of the family to her husband.

What to do

If you honestly admit to yourself that deep down you don’t want to work, then try to determine the reason. If the reasons are: severe trauma in a previous job, professional burnout or long-term depression, it is definitely better to seek professional help; such conditions are extremely difficult to correct on your own. In other cases, look for options that are acceptable to you - it may be worth considering new areas of activity, agreeing with your partner on the distribution of responsibilities in the family, and so on. It all depends on the reason.

Inability to present yourself

Many of the applicants, despite good professional training, are very lost and embarrassed during the interview. Because of this, they are perceived as insufficiently professional, insecure and weak. Judge for yourself, all other things being equal, who would you prefer? A person who speaks calmly, kindly and with dignity, looking at the interlocutor, without nervousness, clearly, with good articulation, or someone who mumbles, looks away and shifts from foot to foot?

What to do

Improve your communication skills. There are many good videos on this topic on the Internet. If possible, take public speaking courses; this is a very useful skill - presenting yourself, your ideas and projects in an inspired and convincing manner.

Dmitry Kushch

psychologist, trainer, leading specialist of the Content training center

Fear

Sometimes job seekers talk about fear, fear not only of competing for the desired position, but also of the necessary changes after achieving the goal. When preparing for an interview, everyone tries to present themselves from the best side, investing both time and effort into preparation. Having gathered his strength and sparkled with all his colors at the interview, the applicant finds himself in the situation of having to maintain this new bright image of his even after receiving the desired position, that is, to give his all at work constantly, day after day. For some, as a result of this, even before the interview, a subconscious fear arises at the prospect of living in constant tension. Of course, every employer wants to get the best employee, but common sense says that people are not robots and are capable of maximum dedication only at crisis stages of work, otherwise any professional will burn out.

What to do

Look for a harmonious combination of workload and your capabilities , but do not forget that learning and improving your professional level is the key to your success.

The applicant does not have a clear understanding of what he wants to do

There are no specifics about your future activities. There are many specializations in any profession. If someone wants to work as an artist, but has not decided in which direction, then he risks wandering around the labor market for a long time in vain searches and attempts. Some artists paint landscapes, others draw cartoon and comic book characters, some do computer graphics and graphic design, and so on.

What to do

If you narrow your search criteria and decide on the desired result , it will be much easier to choose the path to your goal.

Reasons for the long search

Let's look at the most popular reasons that prevent you from finding a job:

• Little activity

It may seem to you that you are constantly searching, but in reality, you are not making any effort. Today's competition is so high that desire alone will not be enough. Sending your resume and sitting and waiting by the sea for the weather is pointless and useless. Imagine how many applications a good company considers. You have to be interested in something more.

What to do:

1. Be more persistent and come or call the company that has opened a vacancy. Remind yourself, show that you are ready to do anything to work there. Just don’t overdo it, because intrusiveness can start to irritate.
2. Try placing a job search ad not only on the Internet, but also in the newspaper, or vice versa. Some companies may not use one resource but be active in another. The same goes for personal searches. You should use different sources.
3. If you think that exchanges are useless, then they are not. First, the state actually has a motivation to find you a job. Secondly, during this time they will pay at least some money. If you have already passed this stage, then try contacting a recruitment agency. Just be careful as there are a lot of scammers out there these days.
4. Tell your friends that you are now unemployed. Word of mouth is much more effective than you think. Perhaps one of their buddies or friends is looking for the right person. This way you can find at least a part-time job.
5. Don't forget to update your application on the website where your resume is posted. Still, new profiles appear, and yours goes lower every time. In addition, this way the employer will be sure that you are still looking for a position and have not just forgotten to delete your resume.
6. Constantly monitor new vacancies, because sometimes it is better to call immediately than to remain a backup option after someone who does it first.

Read: How to stop being shy about people and become more confident in yourself

• Excessive requirements

Think about it, you may be overestimating your talents. Courage and self-confidence are good, but the employer always has an advantage. If you have little or no experience, and you are applying for a very good vacancy, then there is only one chance in a hundred that you will be chosen. Still, the company is looking for a professional in their field, considering many similar profiles.

If you really know how to do everything, but are looking at an excessively large salary, then difficulties will arise here too. Look at different vacancies in your profession and estimate how much they are willing to pay on average for your skills. You can also omit numbers at all to impress with your skills during an interview. In this case, the person may fall in love with you so much that he will make concessions.

Think about it, maybe you have other expectations? For example, you want a big salary, an easy job, a good schedule, and that it be close to home, as well as countless similar desires. Unfortunately, the ideal job does not exist, and if it does exist, it is usually taken immediately.

Of course, you can find a job you like, but sometimes you have to wait too long for such a chance. If you are not ready to make concessions, then search in parallel with other work that provides at least some income.

• Low self-esteem

High self-esteem is bad, and low self-esteem is bad too. Only if in the first case persistence can save you, then here the problem is more serious. Still, considering yourself unworthy of a certain job is one of the biggest mistakes. Especially when you know how to do it, but you think that there are more professional competitors.

Understand that you can try anyway. If they don't call you back, it's okay. And you need to understand that the reasons for irresponsibility can be completely different, and it’s not necessarily about you.

Get over yourself, because in extreme cases you can refuse.

Read: How to become a confident woman - practical tips and recommendations

• Errors in your resume

Very often the reason for the lack of responses is a bad resume. And the point is not even that you are an unqualified specialist, because sometimes even this fades into the background. The problem can be in several nuances:

1. Too superficial and incomplete . You've covered the main points but haven't added many other criteria. For example, you did not indicate your strengths or forgot to note that you have some awards or have completed certain courses to improve your qualifications. All such little things should not be missed, because they often play the greatest role. Imagine that your opponent has six months more experience than you, but has no other advantages. Now think about who the employer will choose?
2. Too formulaic or there is a lot of unnecessary stuff . If you are looking for a job in a certain profession, then you do not need to indicate absolutely distant school achievements in your resume. Write only what may be useful to someone who views your profile. If a person sees that most of the points are absolutely useless, then this will make him think about your normality.
3. An absolutely uninteresting and even faceless resume . Of course, this is almost an official document, but it needs to be diluted. Perhaps some work allows for a little frivolity in the text. Just keep in mind that you also need to know the limits.
4. If you don't see any errors, try looking at other people's resumes. It is best to look for those who are applying for the same position. If you have problems with creativity and want to copy witty lines or interesting details from another person, then do so. Just keep in mind that the company may look at both profiles and notice similarities. Therefore, it is best to monitor the resumes of people who live in another city or even country. This way you will eliminate the possibility of getting into an awkward situation.
5. You made many grammatical errors in the application form . Managers who are obsessed with spelling rules will notice this immediately. They will not trust a person who does not know basic things.

Sample of a good resume

• Behaving incorrectly during an interview

You were called and had an interview, but no one called back. Main reasons for silence:

1. You came unprepared for the meeting and were simply confused . When the manager asked you to tell us about yourself, you got confused and said something incomprehensible. A lot depends on the presentation, because this is why you were called for an interview. If you can’t come up with a beautiful story on the fly, then write and memorize a speech at home. Also understand the answers to questions that the employer may ask.
2. Caught asking provocative questions . For example, that your children often get sick or that you are planning to have a child in the next year. No company will want to hire a person who will immediately go on maternity leave or will constantly ask for time off. Also, don’t talk about the fact that you quarreled with your previous boss or other colleagues.
3. You were constantly silent or talked too much . Shyness is not a hindrance to some work, but excessive passivity may indicate that this vacancy is not what you really need. Too many words can, on the contrary, confuse your interlocutor or even make you angry. Nobody likes to be interrupted or not listened to.

• You don't want to find a job

In fact, this happens often. You actually look at vacancies, go to interviews, but things don’t move forward. Read: What to do if you don’t want anything

Remember, how often did you refuse an internship when you were already invited to do it? Or did you cheat that you couldn't at a certain time? If you constantly use excuses, then the problem is only you.

You feel like the job just isn't right for you. However, why did you apply for this vacancy or even go for an interview? Admit it, is it because they really didn't live up to expectations or is it because you don't want to work?

It's worth noting that this is completely normal. This happens when a person is tired and just wants to take a break. Or you are hoping and using someone else's help, so you don't want to change anything. In any case, you need to be honest with yourself and stop deceiving others. If you need rest, then take a short break. If the problem is laziness, then you should voice this to those who support you. They may even be pleased to help you.

Mistake 2. You dressed incorrectly

Or rather, they didn’t pay attention to how you look.
Appearance is the first thing a person pays attention to when meeting you. Especially if this is an HR manager. It is believed that we only need 17 seconds to form a first impression of our interlocutor. You may be an excellent specialist, but a recruiter who is outraged by your dirty shoes and stale shirt will never know about it and is unlikely to regret it. It is also important how it is customary to go to work where you hope to get a job. Not all candidates, when attending an interview at a company with a dress code, dress appropriately. But for many recruiters this is important: if the applicant is not concerned with his appearance, either he is not motivated, or he is even too lazy to find out about the dress code.

What to do

When going to an interview, sacrifice jeans for a while and choose business-style clothes. Tidy yourself up to look neat and well-groomed. Do not use perfume, preferring a deodorant with a neutral scent.

What to do if, in principle, any rules regarding appearance in the office do not suit you? Look for remote work that you can do even in your pajamas. There are many such offers on Avito Work. Simply use the desired filter to select the parameters for your ideal job.

How to deal with the problem?

What to do if there is no work? First, you need to understand the reason for your long search and try to fix it. If you are doing everything correctly, but there are no offers, then the problem may simply be a lot of demand and a small supply. Many firms have collapsed due to the crisis or laid off employees, reducing jobs.

If it's not about you, then under no circumstances should you become discouraged and lose your spirit. When you're depressed, you won't want to do anything at all, but what's happening now won't last forever. Try to find the positive sides of unemployment, because they exist too. What can be done:

• Give yourself a break. Surely you haven’t had a normal vacation or long weekend. If you don’t have much money, you can go to your parents or relatives. It’s especially great if you have a dacha or someone lives outside the city to spend their holiday actively. You can also finally meet with friends or spend longer with your loved one or children. In this case, it all depends on your budget.
• Go to some trainings or courses. Perhaps you lack the knowledge for your desired profession or you are a little behind modern rules. By the way, classes may be on a completely new topic for you. It is not necessary to stagnate in the same place if you are unlucky there. Perhaps you are at a stage when you need to reevaluate your life and change something in it. Think, maybe you have always been interested in something else?
• Find a hobby. You need to distract yourself and stop thinking about the fact that you are having difficulty finding a job. The best way out of depression is to be actively involved in something. By the way, not every hobby requires a lot of investment, so don’t come up with excuses. By the way, very often a favorite hobby turns into a very profitable business in life. Read: How to calm your nerves and relieve stress
• Don't be alone all the time. Loneliness is the main friend of despondency, so go out more. Friends and loved ones will help you get distracted, which means that time will fly by much faster.
• If you really need money, then get any part-time job or consider a vacancy that didn’t suit you before. This needs to be done if you currently do not have the opportunity to find a job in your specialty. Most likely, the offer will be below your dignity, but it will at least make some money. In addition, a vacancy with a small salary can be very promising, or good bonuses are possible for this job. The main thing is to at least move somehow, because you cannot predict the future.
• Start working on your thinking. In fact, constantly replaying negative thoughts in your head has the ability to come true. Try using affirmations that have brought many people closer to their goals. We are talking about phrases that the Universe hears more sensitively and quickly executes. In your case, the following will help: - “I have a great job and I like this place”, - “They pay me a high salary”, - “I have a lot of good job offers”, etc.

You must realize that the fact that you don’t have a permanent job right now is not a disaster. There is enough work for everyone, because in fact there are a lot of vacancies. Try to change your views on the world at least temporarily and under no circumstances become depressed .

What affects the number of invitations

Your profession is “mobile application developer”, three years of work experience, do you have a portfolio?
The search time will be a negative value - most likely, you have offers from employers before changing jobs. Are you the editor-in-chief of a low-rated publication and don’t understand what your colleagues from successful media are talking about? Six months of searching is your minimum. It is employee hygiene to periodically monitor objective indicators in your industry that may affect your search time. For example, using such data. The duration of the search is directly influenced by the individual characteristics of the candidate: objective (professional level and experience, possession of search and self-presentation skills) and subjective (motivation to search, expectations from future work, ambitions).

Mistake 6. You are not very loyal

The ideal candidate talks about the past company either well or briefly and neutrally. This indicates that the applicant is not confrontational and will treat the employer correctly. If you are ready to tell in person what kind of bad people you had to work with before, this will not cause sympathy at all. Such criticism will say more about your character than about those you criticize.

What to do

When answering the question about the reasons for dismissal, do not discuss the personalities of the manager and colleagues. It’s better to talk about the lack of career growth, the inability to reveal your potential, and the distance from home.

Even if the working conditions at your last place were definitely terrible, which is why you quit, talk about it in neutral terms. For example, if overtime was not paid, and wages were consistently delayed, say so, without drawing parallels with slave labor.

Lack of recognition

It is human nature to strive for recognition from others. When doing some kind of work, your employees internally want to be praised for it, to be appreciated for their efforts - and if this praise does not happen, motivation drops. The indifference of colleagues and bosses devalues ​​the work of a specialist and kills his desire to work well.

This problem is easy to deal with: don’t forget to praise your employees for their successes. It is enough to unobtrusively track the performance of your subordinates in Kikidler, and then notice their achievements in conversations - you will see that the mood in the team will become more positive. And with them, labor productivity will increase.

Mistake 3. You don't focus on your resume

Although the HR manager will have your resume in front of him, you will still be asked to tell about yourself. If the applicant cannot do this and is confused about names and dates, this is a big minus. The question arises whether he wrote the truth there at all.

You're unlikely to be the only candidate the recruiter has spoken to in the last few days. HR may not remember the contents of your resume. But if you don’t remember him well, that’s strange.

What to do

Before the interview, review your resume and remember the main stages of your career. The legal names of the places where you worked are not as important as your functions and achievements there. And during the meeting, talking about your experience in each position, briefly list the information from your resume.

Stress

More than 70% of specialists experience stress during working hours - and, as a rule, it is associated either directly with the work process or with the financial component. Unfortunately, it is impossible to completely remove the stress load (personal experiences that are not related to work always remain), but it can be minimized.

Try to help your people focus on their work - give them interesting tasks, pay attention to their motivation. And monitor the productivity dynamics of your subordinates: if an excellent employee works slowly, maybe something has happened to him. Sometimes it happens that the best solution is to openly ask about problems - people value personalized attention and positive attention from a manager.

Mistake 4. You don't know anything about the company

A candidate who has not bothered to find out what a potential employer does is clearly a risk taker. It is not a fact that you will be asked what you know about the company. But if it turns out that you don’t know anything at all, then your choice was not conscious. Most likely, you are desperate for work and will grab any vacancy. And this is certainly not what employers want to hear.

What to do

Show your awareness, interest and ability to search for information. On Avito Work, you don’t even have to make much effort for this. The necessary data can be seen directly on the website. Click on the employer's name in the job description, go to their page and, if it is not an individual, you will see the “About the Company” section.

What to pay attention to when meeting a potential employer through an advertisement:

• Study the information about how many years the company has been in existence, what facts it indicates about itself. Please pay attention to contact information: office address, work phone numbers and e-mail. Serious companies use corporate email on their own domain.
• Carefully read the job description in the vacancy. It should be detailed, but not excessive. A competent employer is interested in ensuring that candidates have a clear idea of ​​what they will be doing.
• You can learn more about a company's culture by looking at the style of the ad. He can be reserved and formal or creative and friendly.

You're not trying hard enough

Have you heard the saying: “Looking for a job is also a job”

. She appeared for a reason.

A resume is a business card for an employer. And the way it is presented is of great importance.

A personalized advertising brochure sent in a beautiful envelope by mail will attract your attention, and a flyer thrust into your hands near the metro will be sent to the nearest trash bin

without even looking at him.

If you filled out the application form somehow and thoughtlessly send it to dozens of companies every day, it is pointless to wait for invitations to pour in.

Put yourself in the shoes of the employer who received your application: an employee of the HR department or the director of the company sees that the candidate’s application form has been made “badly”, and in the “about himself” section the person writes that he is responsible and hardworking. It is unlikely that this will add points to you.

Many people don’t even bother to read the entire text of the posted vacancy!

The efforts made say much more about the candidate than the template “hardworking, responsible and stress-resistant” in the application form.

How to improve search efficiency?

• Instead of sending 10 resumes to a headhunter, send half as many, spending twice as much time on each one.
• Don't send requests to everyone. Research the market and employers. Find the right one and send applications immediately after vacancies are published on the site by subscribing to the newsletter from this company.
• Personalize! Tailor your resume to a specific vacancy so that it meets its requirements. In your cover letter, address the director or head of the HR department personally.
• Don't get hung up on the stock exchanges. According to statistics, only 20% of vacancies are posted on the Internet. The remaining 80% are not closed due to people from the street. These are acquaintances of employees, transfers from position to position within the company or by direct written requests.

Asking the employer directly about open vacancies is exactly what will help you get ahead of your competitors and get a position, even if there is no such vacancy on the Internet. Write inquiries, call the HR department, ask when recruitment is planned for the position you are interested in.

Make yourself known to get noticed! Don't be afraid to use phone calls and personal meetings for this.