How to accept a situation that you cannot change? In the life of every person there are situations that are difficult to come to terms with, accept and start life over with a new leaf.
The betrayal of a loved one , the betrayal of a friend, the illness of relatives, the passing of a loved one, this is not a complete list of what can happen in life, and you cannot influence what is happening in any way. Even simple everyday problems that happen to us include irritation and take away peace of mind.
Yes, life loves to present us with surprises, and unfortunately, not always pleasant ones.
What to do in such situations when you just can’t accept, you can’t agree with what’s happening and move on?
Of course, you need to work with your thoughts, emotional reactions, affect your beliefs, become more aware and learn to be an adult.
In this article, you will find a detailed analysis of the reasons for not accepting situations, and techniques that will help you easily cope with all life’s adversities.
The simplest technique for accepting a situation that you cannot change
I will share with you my way of accepting situations when I cannot do anything.
But before I describe the technique, I want to say a few words about myself.
I have been working with awareness for a long time, and therefore I can manage my emotions. I often ask myself questions and answer them, so for me this process has already been adjusted to automaticity. And if you also begin to practice a more conscious attitude towards events, then this technique will work out well for you too.
Something happened, and I obviously don’t like it, it doesn’t suit me, I’m upset or furious. I immediately notice that I am angry and resisting some event.
- I’ve been in this state for some time, literally ordering myself to worry and be indignant.
- When the initial emotions subside and I feel slightly relieved, I ask myself the most important question:
“Can I somehow influence or do something to change this situation?”
What does this question do? He reorganizes my thoughts from experiences and emotions to actions.
- “Can I do something?”
And the honest answer is: “No, I can’t.”
- The next question is: “Does it make sense to be angry and worry?”
Answer: “No, it does not”
- If my emotions don’t calm down, then I ask myself: “How much time do I need to worry about what happened?”
- And I give myself some time - 20 minutes or 1 day, depending on the severity of the event. By the way, if I give it 20 minutes, then after 10 minutes I’m already calm.
- Second answer: “Yes, I have the power to change the situation”
- Question: “What do I need to do? What actions should I take?
- But I always write down actions on paper, in this case I think through all the details, and the mental chewing stops.
Watch the video in which I talked in more detail about this technique, and about 2 more techniques that will help you learn to accept situations that you cannot change.
And now, I suggest you approach this issue of accepting situations more deeply.
What books will help indecisive people?
To contents
In addition to the already mentioned book “10/10/10”, there are other printed guides on the topic of decision making. Three of them are a must read.
"Think Slowly... Decide Fast" by Daniel Kahneman . Doctor of Philosophy, psychologist and Nobel Prize winner in economics studied human behavior for many years and came to the conclusion that only the simultaneous use of the instinctive and rational parts of the mind during decision-making will allow one to quickly make the right choice in any situation. His guidance will be useful in all areas of life: from solving everyday problems to major business strategies. It is especially useful for those who always put off making important decisions.
"Switch" by Chip Heath and Dan Heese . The authors of the book believe that on a subconscious level we seem to block ourselves from achieving important changes in business or in our personal lives, and therefore we cannot make the right decisions in a timely manner. The conflict between rational and emotional thinking is to blame. The guide contains practical techniques on how to resolve it.
"The Right Choice" by John Hammond, Ralph Keeney and Howard Raiffa. A practical guide to decision making in business with specific techniques and methods. The book gives answers to any question: which strategy to prefer for entrepreneurship, which applicant to hire, when to launch a new project.
How to accept a situation that you cannot change?
Why does a person become fixated on a problem or situation?
Because the event that happened does not suit him, he doesn’t like it, it infuriates him, irritates him, makes him angry, etc.
You don't want this to happen, and it happened against your wishes. This is the main reason why you cannot let go of the situation.
Let's think a little, and then you will understand why you just need to stop resisting what has ALREADY happened?
The moment of acceptance of the situation, the most important, it is this process in the psyche that will launch other processes with the help of which you will find a solution to the problem. Now that you are focused on rejection, all your resources are directed towards resistance and denial.
