Indifference is a part of a person’s emotional spectrum, characterized by a complete lack of interest, indifference to a certain topic, event or life in general. Indifference in character may be a prevailing feature or reflect an isolated case of a temporary condition; in total cases, it is not a separate feature, but a symptom of an incipient mental disorder or indicate a number of somatic diseases. This concept is synonymous with the word indifference, and at the same time it can concern both the sphere of relationships (when your loved one is not particularly affected by your life or psycho-emotional state) and the surrounding space (climate change, authorities, price increases, carnivals and holidays).
People’s indifference is most terrible in its total manifestation, when it begins to affect one’s own personality. In such a situation, it is no longer possible to justify the resulting state by mental exhaustion or trauma, selfishness, or the distribution of forces only on the main tasks.
When a person becomes indifferent to his own fate, further development comes down only to degradation. The reasons for such a strong degree of manifestation are the experience of serious stressful events and previous high overvoltage. Constantly living from a position of obligation leads to the fact that a person forgets how to want and desire; this mental function gradually atrophies and all that remains is life activity similar to a zombie.
Indifference to life contributes to the development of depression, arrest of development, both social and personal, and the destruction of significant social connections. The less interest a person has, the less he does, the worse his personal reality and direct participation become, and therefore indifference increases.
Kinds
In relationships, marriage
It occurs more often than other types and is very difficult for a partner to live with, since a once close and beloved person suddenly stops paying attention and becomes completely alien and distant - this hits the most vulnerable places.
The qualities that previously attracted him seem to disappear and he turns into a completely different person. Unfamiliar and indifferent. It is very lonely next to him, unbearably lonely, and not everyone is able to cope with this feeling.
Male
From childhood, boys are taught not to cry and to endure suffering, instilling the idea that they should be strong and able to withstand anything. This is, of course, an interesting and attractive idea about the existence of ideal men, but in this case, they need to turn into emotionless robots, which is what some try to do in order to live up to the mythical image.
At work
I am not attracted to the activities that I come to do, so much so that I have to force myself, forcing me to get ready in the morning. Unfortunately, the consequences of working without enthusiasm are either dismissal or lack of prospects for career advancement, and this all only exacerbates the negative attitude towards the chosen profession.
Towards the environment
Killings of animals, destruction of nature, political issues: they may not bother a person at all. Either because he does not want to “get involved” in a process that requires large amounts of energy and time, or because they bother him so much that he chooses to isolate himself and not notice them.
In any case, whatever the reason, such a person relieves himself of responsibility for involvement in anything in this world. For example, when buying a mink coat, he does not think about the fact that this living creature was once brutally killed, and by paying for it, he makes his contribution to this business.
Or he doesn’t go to the polls, giving other people the right to make decisions regarding the future of the country in which he lives.
To the children
Sometimes it happens that for some reason a parent becomes unable to feel love for his children, performing only functional duties. Such children are usually seriously traumatized and believe that they are not worthy of love, do not deserve it, and so on. And when they grow up, they risk becoming the same, because they don’t know how to behave differently.
Indifference: stages
A person reaches a state of complete indifference gradually, going through several stages:
- Indifference to animals and other living beings, lack of pity for them, lack of desire to help them.
- Indifference to strangers and strangers. Ignoring their suffering.
- Indifference to people of superficial acquaintance (colleagues, neighbors, etc.).
- Colleagues, friends.
- Indifference to loved ones and family.
- Indifference to oneself.
- Indifference as a psychological defense
Causes
Depression
As you know, this is a disease, and it may well deprive a person of not only interest in everything that is happening, but also the desire to live. Therefore, it is important to be careful, if a loved one suddenly “fades away”, you should not throw hysterics, scandals, or give arguments and facts of his indifference and callousness.
This will only aggravate the situation and can lead to the worst consequences - provoking suicide, as an attempt to finally get rid of suffering. You can learn more about this from the article “How to find a way out of depression yourself: the most effective methods.”
Punishment or manipulation
Yes, in relationships they sometimes resort to similar measures, ceasing to pay attention and give love even for the slightest offenses, wanting to “motivate” to obey and do only as the manipulator wants.
Something like carrots and sticks, they either shower you with gifts and compliments, or suddenly become indifferent, ignoring your presence until you realize your mistake and correct yourself.
Such traps are usually set by perverse narcissists or psychopathic personalities. By the way, this is also the behavior of a banal egoist, an egocentric person who believes that the whole world revolves only around him, and for him.
Illusions
When a person is hurt, he sometimes has a great desire to be insensitive, so as not to experience disappointment, bitterness, total sadness, and so on. That’s why they become indifferent, people have the illusion that it’s easier to live this way.
For example, it seems that without thinking about where and with whom a loved one spends time, he will be calm and happy. But, in fact, by blocking negative emotions, a person deprives himself of pleasant, positive ones. Indifference can easily kill love; gradual distance and lack of emotions can defeat even the strongest feelings; they will simply fade away until they disappear completely.
Alexithymia
This is a disorder in which a person is not able to feel and track his emotions, he simply does not understand what is happening to him, since he can only think logically, without resorting to sensations and intuition.
Professional burnout
When a person overextends himself at work, he does not have the opportunity to replenish his energy reserves and rest, which over time leads to exhaustion. He simply does not have the resources to feel interest, joy and other feelings.
Psychological trauma
Something may happen that will cause unbearable feelings that a person is simply not able to cope with at a given period, and in order to preserve the psyche, the body, as it were, “turns off” the emotional sphere, freezes it.
7. Alcohol or drug abuse
Over time, due to any of these types of addictions, the structure of the brain is destroyed, which affects the psyche and emotional sphere. By the way, an excessive amount of medications also leaves its mark on the ability to feel.
Mental disorders
Because of them, a person becomes detached and unable to experience any emotions or sensations, plunging deeply into his own inner world and fantasies.
Personality structure
He was born like this, callous, unable to empathize and generally worry, plus his parents were the same, which is why they didn’t teach him to care, be interested in something, be attentive, etc.
Scientific research into feelings of indifference
Scientific research on indifference has been carried out by both psychologists and philosophers. Fabry, Rubinstein and Spinoza studied indifference. Many agreed that indifference can be equated to apathy, emotional passivity, lack of interests and hobbies, and a decrease in overall activity.
In 1993, N. Fetiskin noted that students and schoolchildren are bored in many lectures and classes. Researcher I. Shurygina discovered boredom among music school students in 1984. And in 1989, A. Chebikin revealed the fact that students’ expectations from classes are not met, and instead of positive emotions, boredom or fear of the teacher arises.
“Emotional-motivational paralysis” is the dictionary definition of indifference given by Meshcheryakov and Zinchenko.
Indifference is basically characterized by the absence of any feelings and emotions, both positive and negative. A person does not feel aggression or irritation, he is not happy or bored. Often, after experiencing stress, a person experiences indifference. However, many researchers define indifference as a symptom of mental or physical illness. Indifference can be caused by hereditary factors, nervous breakdowns or exhaustion, endocrine problems, certain medications, bad habits and their consequences, as well as old age.
What to do?
First . If your loved one has changed, try talking to him about the reasons for the change. Maybe he has a serious problem that he is trying to hide in this way, pretending to be indifferent? It is only important to refrain from making claims, scandals, hysterics and other things, so start a conversation only when you realize that you are ready to hear the truth or have the strength to cope with it.
Second . If you are trying to influence your partner using perceived indifference, then think about how it hurts. Are you sure that you are deliberately ready to cause pain and sometimes unbearable suffering to your loved one? There are examples when they punished for treason in this way, but ignoring it does not relieve the suffering of the one who was offended. Even if it seems to him that he is not experiencing anything. Only forgiveness will allow you to free yourself. It is not necessary to continue to be together, but it is necessary to forgive in order to release the burden, take care of yourself, and move on.
Third . If this happened to you, try to understand what is behind your insensitivity? What are you hiding from, or, on the contrary, hiding? Only by realizing the cause can you find a way to heal.
Fourth . Work on your self-esteem, especially after encountering total loneliness as a couple, and in general. You will learn recommendations on how to increase it in the article “The best methods for achieving success that will help you finally believe in yourself.”
Fifth . Be honest and sincere with yourself, you shouldn’t put on a mask and play the role of a happy person if your soul is sad, you won’t hide from melancholy, but you won’t feel joy either. It’s better to have courage and look into the eyes of those emotions that you are avoiding; only by living through them can you free yourself and “break the spell.” If you are afraid that you cannot cope alone, enlist the support of your loved ones or a qualified specialist. The main thing is to act before the swamp of apathy sinks deep.
Sixth . In the case of psychological trauma, it will take time. Learn to simply be close to the one who has suffered, and wait without reproaching or putting pressure on him.
Signs of an Indifferent Person
Empty eyes, cold soul and inner loneliness. An indifferent person does not hear cries for help, does not see tears and suffering, and does not rush to help a friend. Psychologically, a person may be indifferent to others because he does not have a developed sense of empathy for others.
Indifference is a trait that characterizes a person who does not pay attention to the problems, pain and concerns of other people. People are not born indifferent, but become so due to life circumstances, examples and their own judgment.
Complete indifference is a deliberate refusal to help someone in solving problems that do not concern that person. Many people find it easier to be indifferent than to take on other people's problems and help them. On the other hand, if a person has ever experienced indifference from others, he may refuse to help others.
Society's indifference to people
Often society instills indifference in a person. For example, when parents prohibit a child from approaching a stray animal. They are dirty, have fleas and can become infected. After several such reprimands, the child will not want to feed the stray cat. The parental attitude will be stronger in his/her mind.
There are often cases when a woman does not allow her husband to intervene in a fight between teenagers on the street. She assures him that they will deal with him, and soon he himself gets punched in the face. It is in such situations that human indifference and reluctance to participate is formed.
The indifference of society to a person and the patterns of behavior enshrined in society lead to the following problems:
- Difficulty communicating with relatives and friends.
- Broken family relationships, broken marriages.
- Difficult relationship with the child.
- The emergence of a feeling of despair, powerlessness in the face of emerging problems.
- Impaired social interaction.
- If a child notices indifference, this can become a pattern of behavior in adulthood.
- Personality degradation occurs when a person loses the ability to empathize.
- A person develops mental and psychological problems (depression, phobias, increased anxiety).
- Psychosomatic illness.
- Death or serious health problems caused by premature intervention.
- Sometimes the indifference of society leads a person to commit suicide.
However, society is struggling with this problem. For example, there are criminal penalties for willful neglect of care.
