How to raise a boy is a question that occupies the minds of most mothers, regardless of the era, because any of them wants to raise the support of the family and raise a real man. Unfortunately, boys do not grow up to be men with a capital “M” on their own. Today, psychologists cannot come to a common opinion regarding who among the adults is more important in raising a son. However, if we analyze the family life of many social units, we can conclude that the greatest influence on boys from the moment of birth until the preschool period is directly exerted by their mothers. Since the first years of a boy’s life, when the baby’s character is formed and basic social skills are formed, it is the mother who spends a significant part of the time with the baby. It is the woman who, in practice, demonstrates to her son how to treat the weaker half of humanity.
How to raise a boy without a father
Contrary to popular belief, a boy raised by women will not necessarily grow up to be weak and weak. The statement that a boy raised without a father will grow up to be an inferior man is fundamentally incorrect and, rather, affects single mothers as a self-fulfilling forecast. It is much worse when children are raised in a family where the father is an alcoholic, where constant quarrels and misunderstandings reign, where the father raises his hand against the mother, etc. Single-parent families, first of all, are those in which there is a shortage of parental love and lack of attention.
A family where a son is raised by one woman naturally has certain problems and difficulties, but it is still better than raising children in government institutions.
How to raise a boy to be a real man - advice from psychologists
First of all, even in the absence of a father, who is a model of male behavior in a boy’s life, there must be such an example to follow. For this purpose, you can use an uncle, grandfather, coach, teacher, brave cartoon character, etc. It is also recommended to give the baby to the so-called “male” sport. Thus, the greater the number of male persons who are invariably present in his life, the better.
Mothers also need to monitor their own attitude towards the stronger sex. You should not insult men in the presence of children; also, when surrounded by men, mothers should not feel awkward, aggressive, or uncomfortable. After all, the child can feel this, as a result of which he will have mixed feelings caused by the discrepancy between the mother’s attitude towards him and the men around him, the result of which will be misunderstanding and internal conflict.
How can a woman raise a boy? When raising a baby without a father, it is not recommended to try to compensate him for the lack of male attention, at the cost of excessive “lisping” or fulfilling any of his whims. The surest decision would be to teach your son to be independent from an early age. If something doesn’t work out for the boy the first time, then you don’t need to immediately run to his aid; it’s better to invite him to try to repeat his own actions.
It is also recommended that mothers often take the position of a “weak woman” when communicating with the baby. In other words, when raising a son, a woman should not forget about her nature and be affectionate with him, a caring and loving parent, and not a magician who can solve absolutely all the boy’s problems, depriving the baby of the opportunity to try to cope with difficulties on his own. Also, such behavior will help develop in your son the ability to sympathize, pity and empathize, and teaches him to be a caring, helpful, strong man.
In addition, it is necessary to often praise the child and tell him phrases like: “you are my protector”, “you will definitely succeed!” etc. After all, for a boy growing up without a father, such praise has a special meaning. With this behavior, women reinforce the importance of the boy in the eyes of his mother.
Thus, women who are interested in the question of how to raise a man from a boy, on the one hand, need to be feminine and weak, and on the other hand, to be known as a confident and strong-willed person. Mothers raising sons without fathers should not try to combine feminine and masculine roles; they just need to remain themselves. It is also not recommended to play the role of a victim of circumstances in front of your son.
Raising a boy, a future real man, should not be perceived as a duty or a life obligation. As a result of the above, a boy raised by women in order to become a real man has all the prerequisites.
Little princesses
A girl, unlike a boy, develops more intensively, her feelings and emotions become more acute. It’s easier to contact girls, but here you need to take into account their cunning. Her mother is an ideal and example for the girl; together they find many topics to talk about - discussing doll outfits, recipes for delicious baked goods, caring for indoor flowers. The role of the father in raising his daughter is to positively influence her communication with the opposite sex. It is necessary to constantly monitor the daughter’s aspirations and capabilities and promote her maximum development.
Stubbornness - how it manifests itself
Offended beauty
Parental education is a significant contribution to the development of their child; the character and attitude towards the world around them depends on this contribution.
And if you don’t start seriously raising a child from the age of 3 and after this period, otherwise there is always a chance of completely ruining your child. In any case, children should be raised in a full-fledged family, where love and harmony reign. The daughter must prepare for the future role of a mother, and see her loved one in the role of a father, and if there is no man in the family, then such a situation can be inherited. Rejection of a spouse and divorce are problems that have their roots in early childhood. You need to find your own unique key for the girl, which will help open her heart to her parents, because trust in the family is the main thing.
Negativism is the main manifestation of the 3-year crisis
How to raise a boy correctly
It is important in raising a male child to give him trust and a certain amount of freedom. It is not recommended to forbid him to spend time with the children in the yard or communicate with other boys. The boy must be given the opportunity to independently find solutions to situations of confrontation.
To do this, parents should make some effort. One of the most common misconceptions among parents of both sexes is related to the difference in educational measures applied to sons and daughters. For some reason, some mothers and almost the majority of fathers think that with a boy one should not indulge in “calf tenderness” and so-called “lisping”, believing that as a result of such behavior the boy will not grow into a real man. However, things are different in reality. Psychologists have provided evidence that among newborns of both sexes, boys are born weaker than girls, so they often need affection more than girls.
How to raise a 2 year old boy
The educational impact on boys, in any case, is based on the age characteristics of the child. Therefore, it is necessary to start a conversation about how to properly raise a 2-year-old boy with an understanding of what a two-year-old baby is like.
Until one and a half years of age, there is no difference in the upbringing of children of different sexes. It is at the age of two that the baby begins to understand that boys are different from girls. At two years old, the boy already begins to realize that he belongs to the male gender and identifies himself accordingly.
Positive communication with him is of great importance in the educational impact on a two-year-old boy. You should not get angry or hit a baby at the age of two, otherwise boys will feel that they are not loved, which can cause the appearance of the first symptom of a basic distrust of the world.
By the age of two, boys not only improve their walking, but also develop the ability to run and jump, they learn to throw a ball, and their sense of balance improves. Therefore, a boy should not be prohibited from developing physically. It's okay if, in trying to run and jump, he gets a few bumps and a couple of bruises.
At this stage, the boys develop an attitude towards housework - they have a desire to help their mother, a desire to sweep or vacuum, etc. Such aspirations of children should be encouraged, otherwise they can be discouraged and in the future the child will simply “come out on his own.”
In the two-year age period, for the first time, the need to develop certain prohibitions and certain norms of behavior appears. Contrary to the popular opinion of most psychologists, a baby begins to understand the word “impossible” at approximately the age of three, therefore certain restrictions and a system of non-physical punishment must be introduced already at the age of two.
It is not recommended to overwhelm the boy with excessive care and you should not put pressure on him with your own expectations. For example, if a two-year-old boy does not speak, this is not a reason not to sleep at night. It should be taken into account that boys start talking later than girls. The main thing at this stage is the formation of motor activity and cognitive interests. And even if the baby doesn’t draw as well as the neighbor’s child, then you shouldn’t be upset. After all, each baby develops individually. And with their own expectations and subsequent dissatisfaction or frustration, parents demonstrate their dislike to the child.
The main activity of two-year-old boys is play, which consists of actions with objects of a manipulative nature. It is through such a game that the baby gets to know the environment, the objects in it and the people. Directly in play activities, it is easier to teach boys discipline, routine, order, certain rules, hygiene skills and basic labor skills, how to handle objects and compare them.
It is important for parents to learn that boys should not be punished with cruelty or indifference. By doing this, the parents only demonstrate their weakness to the baby, which can subsequently turn into a weakness of the boy’s character. Strength of spirit in boys needs to be cultivated using other methods.
Children should also be raised according to their gender. In other words, it is not recommended to use words such as “bunny” or “honey” when referring to a male baby. It is better to address your son as follows: “son” or “my beloved protector.”
How to raise a 3 year old boy
In early childhood, the most important thing for children of the stronger sex is to be in the zone of parental attention and care, primarily of the mother. At the same time, a father should not shy away from raising a 3-year-old boy, citing the fact that his son is still small. At the age of three, boys develop a sense of security and a sense of openness to the environment. Therefore, the care of both parents is quite important for them.
What principles should the upbringing of a three-year-old boy be based on? What educational measures are acceptable, and which ones are best avoided? The listed questions become acute for adults when their male child reaches the age of three.
So, how to raise a man from a boy? To answer this question, you need to understand that at the stage of three years of age there is already a clear differentiation by gender in comparison with the two-year period. Therefore, at this age it is very important to try not to miss the formation in boys of self-love as a representative of the strong half of humanity. The son should think that he is a boy, and it is good to be a boy. This statement must be constantly reinforced and emphasized in praise. For example: “You are brave.” And phrases like “weakling” need to be excluded from your own vocabulary in relation to your son.
How to raise a boy for dad? Due to the fact that a child at the age of three feels even more strongly that he belongs to the stronger half of humanity. That is why his father becomes an object of admiration and increased interest for him. The boy strives to be like the head of the family in absolutely everything, and often tries on some of his things. In cases where the father is characterized by impatience and excessive irritability in relation to the baby, the son will feel awkward in his company and among other males. As a result, he will begin to look up to his mother and reach out to her. Therefore, for fathers, the optimal time to begin the educational process in relation to boys is the age of three. You shouldn’t wait until the kids get older and, therefore, wiser, as you could waste time. Therefore, mothers are recommended to send their sons for a walk with their husbands, which will allow them to find free time for themselves, and fathers will get to know their own child better.
The next principle of educational influence, which answers the question of how to raise a boy to be a real man, will be to provide space for a three-year-old son. Here, first of all, we are talking about physical space. Since boys need free space for normal functioning and development. After all, they are constantly on the move. It is imperative to release bodily energy; active games contribute to this.
There are also hyperactive children who require a slightly different approach. In order to understand how to raise a hyperactive boy, you should turn to the concept of hyperactivity. Hyperactivity syndrome consists of pronounced excessive mobility of children and impulsiveness. Such children are characterized by restlessness, they constantly spin around, are fickle in their hobbies (now they can do one thing, and literally a minute later - another), as a result of which many things are not completed.
A hyperactive three-year-old boy requires special treatment. Since one of the developmental crises occurs at the age of three, at this stage the baby begins to clearly differentiate its gender and all this is complicated by hyperactivity. Therefore, if parents pay special attention to the question of how to raise a hyperactive boy, then there is no need to fight the innate properties of the baby, it is necessary to correct only manifestations of hyperactivity. There is no need to punish the boy for such manifestations, because it is not his fault that he still lacks self-regulation skills. You just need to help him learn to manage his own behavior and protect him from overwork. If active games are suitable for a non-hyperactive baby, then a hyperactive baby should be taught passive games, for example, you can draw with him.
In addition, regardless of whether the son is hyperactive or not, he needs to feel parental love. Therefore, parents should show their children their love from time to time.
The age of three can be considered a cult of independence. Very often from children at this age you can hear the phrase: “I myself.” If the actions that the boy is trying to perform cannot harm him, then he should be allowed to do them. For example, tying your own shoelaces.
Also, in the educational impact it is necessary to take into account the fact that boys, by nature, are researchers. It is at the age of three that their investigative nature begins to manifest itself in the form of disassembled cars. Therefore, you should not scold them for broken toys. It is necessary to provide them with the opportunity to satisfy their research needs while monitoring the safety of their son.
Little stubborn guy
Negativism is a characteristic feature of the 3-year-old crisis. This attitude is expressed towards the requests of the adult and his personal person. Often, this attitude of a child manifests itself only towards one family member, while he obeys others. This trait also appears so that a 3-year-old child can force his parents to fulfill his demands by demonstrating his power through aggression.
3 year crisis - symptoms
Raising a child from the age of 3 proceeds differently in different families. Some parents also begin to react extremely negatively to the antics of their grown-up child, trying to show the little manipulator his place. They use pressure and physical force. In other families, obedience to the child is customary; every demand is fulfilled there, as long as he does not bother his parents over trifles. Here it is important to find a middle ground in order to direct education in the right direction.
Hysteria at 3 years old - a way to express your opinion
There are the following useful tips for parents raising a 3-year-old child:
- It is important to be patient and assess each situation as soberly as possible. You need to understand the baby’s feelings, skillfully using his whims against him. For example, if a child refuses to put toys away, deftly scattering them on the floor, then you can ask him never to collect them again.
- All prohibitions, strict requirements, and whims have low effectiveness, so you need to switch the child’s attention to an activity that is more exciting and interesting for him.
- You shouldn’t react too violently to a boy’s hysterical attacks. You should not indulge any child’s desire, which is followed by a series of hysterics. Otherwise, a 3-year-old child may develop the habit of starting a tantrum for any reason. You can easily divert the attention of a hysterical boy to an interesting thing or toy.
- Raising a 3-year-old child should be completely the same; dad should not allow the child to do what mom forbade, and, on the contrary, these rules especially need to be clearly explained to the kindest grandparents.
- A boy and a girl need to be raised in an atmosphere of love and sincerely praised for good deeds. And if a child suddenly stumbles and does the wrong thing, you need to explain why you shouldn’t do that.
Manifestations of protest at 3 years old
How to raise a 4 year old boy
We can highlight several simple principles aimed at solving the problem of how to raise a 4-year-old boy.
The first principle is that one should not be afraid to cripple a boy with affection and care. According to numerous studies, male children receive four times less praise and several times more punishment. Therefore, parents should not forget that a four-year-old boy is still a child, and not a small adult. He may be afraid of something; for him, a trip to a new place can be a life event. It is important to understand that adult living standards, concepts of time and space are not suitable for a four-year-old child.
In the age period, which falls on four years, the baby’s emotionality begins to form. And parents at this stage demand restrained behavior from him or, with their careless phrases, forbid him to show emotions. This behavior is fundamentally wrong. A four-year-old boy is just a child, not an adult. Therefore, it is necessary to teach the boy to correctly express his own emotions.
It should also be taken into account that boys at any age require more free space than the fair sex. Therefore, in order to balance the frantic hurricane of activity, it is recommended to purchase a sports corner for your son. Filial restlessness and noisiness must be treated with condescension and patience. However, you should still remember to focus the baby’s attention on the fact that he, as a man, needs to be balanced.
It is during the four-year period that the completion of the formation of boys’ ideas about their own personalities as representatives of the male sex occurs. Previously, the baby was guided by the external differences between the representatives of the strong half and the weak. At the age of four, the child already clearly identifies himself with the male gender and understands how to behave.
The need for independent decisions
At the age of three, a child wants to be independent. Allow him to do some work himself, teach your child to help around the house. Let him, for example, water your house plants or lay out spoons on the dining table. And let the flower wither, and instead of a tablespoon you bring a teaspoon, the main thing is that you already have an independent child and does everything himself.
Don't make fun of children's tastes if the little one is wearing purple jeans, an orange shirt and a green cap. It is important for the bunny that his choice is appreciated by his father and mother, and the sense of taste will appear over time.
Give your child the right to choose. Consult with him about breakfast, what book he would prefer to listen to, what bucket he will go for a walk with. Allow your child to make personal decisions.
How to raise a 5 year old boy
At the age of five, the ability to identify one’s own person with a certain gender is already fully formed. Therefore, kids begin to actively strive to communicate with representatives of the fair half of humanity, but they are especially drawn to their mothers. After all, for them, it is the mother who is the sweetest, kindest and most beautiful. Often at this age boys want to marry their mothers. Starting from the age of five, a transition occurs in the baby’s life from childhood to school life. Therefore, at this stage, the upbringing of a 5-year-old boy should be aimed at developing the necessary life skills and optimizing performance. Raising five-year-old children should lay the foundation and behavioral characteristics.
How to properly raise a 5 year old boy? First of all, it is necessary to instill in him a joyful anticipation of school life; the boy must look forward to this moment. Thanks to this, parents will be able to correctly and painlessly adjust his daily routine.
We should also not forget that the future support of the family is being raised. Therefore, it is necessary to continue nurturing masculine qualities, but at the same time, not forgetting to surround your son with care and love. Fathers need to exert more influence, otherwise the boy will grow up to be an insecure individual, withdrawn and uncommunicative. The father’s task is also the physical development of his son.
Until the age of five, a boy can purchase toys that embody male professions (for example, plastic tools, various construction machines, construction sets), and after crossing the five-year mark, he must begin to be introduced to a basic tool (for example, a screwdriver or a light hammer). Let the boy learn to help dad around the house.
It is also necessary to explain to sons that they are stronger than the fair sex, that they should protect the girls and behave with them in a chivalrous manner. At the same time, dad should be an example of such behavior. He should help the woman in everything and show concern for her (for example, carry heavy bags or give up his seat in transport).
The importance of a children's team
The social experience acquired in kindergarten is invaluable for a little person, since the makings of personal formation are laid before the age of 5. A child who is not part of a group of children has difficulty adapting to unfamiliar conditions and experiences fear and uncertainty when meeting people. This is how phobias, aggressiveness, and isolation appear.
Many children are ready to go to kindergarten at the age of 2. Parents can be confident in the correct development of the child, since the preschool education institution has a clear program for raising children. Various tasks are solved:
- Speech development. Classes for children aged 3-4 years contribute to the active growth of vocabulary and the emergence of new lexical units.
- Activities to develop fine motor skills, which involve coordinated movements of the muscles of the hands and fingers. Exercises of this type stimulate the development of the brain, attention, memory, and speech center of children.
- Moral education. It is important to instill in children 3-4 years old kindness, compassion, empathy, and the ability to forgive.
- Physical education of children from 3 to 6 years old. The development of a baby physically directly affects intellectual skills. Physical exercise improves your mood.
- Musical lessons. Aesthetic education promotes the comprehensive development of children and encourages moral experiences.
The tasks of raising and educating a child 2-6 years old come down to guiding the child in the right direction. Not every mother is able to purposefully and systematically work with her baby in the areas described. The development of child psychology must be competent.
