Most of the planet's inhabitants are dissatisfied with their character. People are insecure, full of doubts and anxieties, and suffer from a lack of determination and determination. They do not solve problems and do not fight difficulties, leaving everything to chance. The result is a boring and joyless life. Is it possible to change the situation? How to develop a strong character?
What is a strong character
Strong character is a person’s ability to firmly adhere to his principles and beliefs, and to confidently move towards achieving his goals. It should not be confused with stubbornness and pride.
How strong a character is depends on three of its components:
- The power of principles and beliefs. We can say that this is a person’s attitude towards himself, his life and the future. A good example is the code of honor of an officer or samurai (Bushido).
- Strength of mind. Consists of three separate parts: faith, devotion and fearlessness. These qualities determine the triumph of the spiritual component of human essence over the material.
- Strength of will. Represents the ability to fight laziness and self-pity and steadily pursue your goals.
A weak-willed person, unlike a strong one, does not possess the listed qualities. He has no principles or beliefs of his own. Often he does not know what he wants from life, and follows the lead of those around him.
Saying no
The inability to give direct and honest refusals reveals weakness of character in people, users of The Question are sure. It is important to learn to save your time and set personal boundaries. “The ability to decisively say “no” to unimportant things will give you the strength to say “yes” to something important,” says Dmitry Sergeev. “It is very important to focus on one thing, discarding all external factors. They just destroy you. Give them up in favor of truly important things,” advises Elizabeth Lutes.
How to develop a strong character
You can develop a strong character from early childhood. There are such examples in history. These are knights whose training began at the age of 7. Another option is development as you grow older and solve life problems, as well as overcome some obstacles.
Another way to become stronger is to work on yourself. Here you will have to deliberately create conditions conducive to character development.
How it is impossible to develop a strong character
The process of character development requires, first of all, the desire to act, time, and sometimes self-sacrifice. There are a number of requirements, ignoring which will reduce all efforts to nothing:
- leave your comfort zone;
- get rid of laziness, fears and slavery of habits;
- develop not only in thoughts, but also in deeds;
- exercise as regularly as possible;
- respect yourself, remember your dignity (do not compare with pride and arrogance);
- combat the effects of external factors;
- not to force, but to discipline yourself.
It is impossible to develop a strong character even without a clearly defined goal. A person must have motivation. In its absence, sooner or later he will go astray from the intended path.
Set goals and achieve them
A goal is needed to know where to go. Write a list of what you want to achieve in a certain period of time - a week, a month, a year. Then compare the results, draw conclusions and write new goals. “More specifics, which can be expressed in terms and numbers, less abstract reasons and phrases,” advises Dmitry Sergeev.
“A person with a weak character does not know what he wants. He is contradictory, disorganized and constantly fluctuates,” says Artem Ivanov. Start from the opposite.
Good Tips for Developing a Strong Character
There are several ways to become a strong and confident person. The main thing is not to be lazy and not to feel sorry for yourself. The result will not be long in coming.
Ask yourself questions
Man creates reality with his own hands. And this doesn’t only apply to positive aspects. People also create negativity on their own, perhaps even benefiting from it.
An illustrative example will help you understand the above. Let's say someone is unsuccessfully struggling with indecision, weak character and lack of goals. Where did he get these qualities from? Don’t immediately blame external circumstances. Maybe a person just doesn’t want to be successful? He is afraid of being first or standing out from the crowd. In response to these fears, the body forms and develops those character traits that protect against well-being. As a result, a person continues to live in his own comfortable world, without trying to change it.
Taking the above into account, there are three important questions to ask yourself:
- Why are certain qualities of my character needed?
- What role do they play in my life?
- How do these qualities protect you from the outside world?
Honest answers will help you understand what and how you need to change in your character in order for it to become stronger.
Think about whether you really have qualities that interfere with your life
Perhaps there are no such qualities in character, and the opinion about their existence was imposed by parents, friends or acquaintances. For example, a child is told from childhood that his hands grow in the wrong place and he is completely untalented. For the time being, he will think so. But at some point he will understand that in fact everything is not so bad. He can repair any damage or create something with his own hands. It turns out that the shortcoming is far-fetched.
We need to sit down and seriously analyze whether there really are character trait problems? Perhaps these are just figments of the imagination.
Formulate what qualities you want to acquire
You need to clearly indicate your preferences by choosing the most desirable character traits. This could be determination, dedication, self-confidence, etc.
Psychologists recommend talking about qualities in two phrases: I want to receive and I already have these qualities in my character. Thanks to this, the process of their development will go faster.
Remember a famous person who has the right qualities
It doesn't have to be a real person. You can take your favorite character from a book, movie or even a cartoon as an example. The main thing is that he has the character traits a person needs.
You need to imagine yourself in the place of your role model. You should mentally visit those situations where he was, and think about what you could do in his place.
Imagine that you already have the necessary qualities
It is necessary to present not only a strong character, but also the right actions, confident movement towards your goals. You should turn on your imagination at full strength and hold the resulting image in your consciousness for at least a few minutes. It is advisable to repeat the exercise regularly. It will help you get additional energy to fulfill all your dreams.
Overcome difficulties
How to develop character in yourself in this way? Many people know that difficulties strengthen him best. Therefore, you need to leave your comfort zone. This is a must. Only in this case will you be able to find your weak points and change for the better.
It is important to remember that success that comes too easily will never bring a sense of true satisfaction.
read books
It doesn't matter what kind of books they are. Psychologists recommend reading literature of all genres; each of them will teach you something new:
- autobiographies show how strong, world-famous people developed their character;
- works of art contribute to the development of imagination and encourage one to play out possible developments of events in one’s mind;
- Self-help books provide motivation and the opportunity to learn some useful techniques from psychology.
According to experts, you can start with the works of Dale Carnegie, Stephen Covey and Robin Sharma (“How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari”).
Have your own opinion
A person who has a strong character and is confident that he is right is not afraid to voice his personal opinion. He defends it, even if it is very different from the generally accepted one and is criticized. It is extremely difficult to do this, because often people become slaves to other people's desires and preferences. To emerge from slavery and maintain individuality is a manifestation of strong character.
You need to sit down and seriously think about which actions and actions are committed under pressure from the outside, and which of your own free will. Don’t be embarrassed to end a conversation that’s causing you discomfort just for fear of offending your interlocutor. Or eat a dish in a cafe that you don’t like because the bill has already been paid. Your opinion should come first. You need to learn to defend it. This will help not only become more self-confident, but also develop useful character traits.
Set goals and achieve them
What are goals for? To know the right direction of movement. You need to take a piece of paper and write what you want to strive for. Moreover, it is recommended to clearly indicate the time frame for making your desires come true: a week, a month, a year. After a while, you should check what has already been done from what was written down and make corrections. You can add new goals.
Psychologists advise being specific not only in dates, but also in desires themselves. No need to write vague phrases. Need precision. For example, you can plan to lose a couple of kilograms by a certain date or read an interesting book. If we talk about more global goals, this could be career growth or a vacation in a new place.
Say no
This is a difficult, but at the same time necessary skill. According to many people, the inability to refuse directly and honestly is a manifestation of weak character. Often a person has to sacrifice not only his opinion, but also comfort for the sake of others. The word “no” will help correct the situation.
It is important to learn to respect yourself, your time and personal space. Only then will people treat us the same way.
Learning to say no to something small will help you say “yes” to more significant things in the future. You need to focus your life on them. Small things destroy, take away energy and time.
Take a closer look at your surroundings
Not all friends and relatives will appreciate efforts to change for the better. And this is not surprising, since they are accustomed to using a person for their own selfish purposes. He became “convenient” for them. Someone may be jealous because, due to their own laziness, weakness or circumstances, they cannot do the same.
If you want to develop a strong character, it is better to avoid or minimize communication with such people. They don't help you move forward, but pull you down to the bottom. We need people nearby who follow the same path and are role models. You need to be friends with those who will help you change and become stronger.
Psychologists recommend not to ruin your life next to those who have already ruined yours.
Overcome difficulties
The best way to build character is through difficulties, users of The Question project are sure. “At a minimum, the most obligatory condition is to get out of your comfort zone,” says Dmitry Richter. “As a rule, strong people overcame such barriers and experienced such events that we never even dreamed of.”
“You can never truly taste success if it comes too easily,” confirms Elizabeth Lutes. Also, you should not blame others for your failures and failures, but accept them with your head held high.
Does it change over the course of life?
Previously, there was an opinion that a person’s personality is fully formed by the age of 25 . And it is precisely at this age that all the main character traits are laid down and if they can be changed in the future, then only slightly.
But various studies in the field of psychology have proven that a person’s personality continues to change in adulthood .
This happens under the influence of life experience and other factors.
Is it possible to change your character on your own? Find out in this video:
Tough people they are
If the phrase “tough person” comes up in a conversation, then many begin to draw an image of an intolerant person who looks with disdain at the weakness of others. In fact, toughness can be called a reflection of a person’s strongest character traits, including perseverance, will and self-control.
Tough people tend to be leaders by nature. Moreover, it is worth considering that this character trait is not innate, it is formed under the influence of various external factors, often difficult life situations.
Rigidity can essentially be called the ability to remain steadfast even when external or internal stimuli for a long time do not provide the opportunity to relax.
Important
Internal irritants include personal weaknesses and desires, and external irritants include insults, neglect and resentment caused by other people.
A tough person is characterized by the following behavior:
The ability to quickly navigate difficult life situations and find the most optimal solution to a problem. The ability to defend your point of view on any important issue. The ability to protect yourself and your loved ones in critical situations, often without the use of physical force. High level of discipline, punctuality and willingness to take responsibility for words and actions.
The above character traits become the basis for the formation of an internal core, which often manifests itself in the form of rigidity, which can be very useful in situations such as:
- Conflicts with colleagues in the work environment.
- Stressful and force majeure incidents.
- Disputes and discussions that require defending your opinion.
- As a means of defense against opponent's aggression.
However, you should not think that rigidity is an exclusively positive feature. Such people also have certain disadvantages, for example:
- Emotional stinginess. It can be quite difficult for tough people to express intense joy or grief. For them, such vivid emotions are a sign of weakness that they cannot afford. They are used to controlling themselves both in professional activities and in everyday life, and increased emotionality for them is an indicator of a loss of control.
- Tendency to egocentrism. Over time, tough people begin to prioritize only their needs, believing that their desires and opinions are above all.
- Intolerance. A tough person is critical of himself and his environment. He does not accept weakness and mistakes. Democracy and tolerance are alien to him. If a tough person demands the maximum from himself, then he will also set higher standards for others.
- Problems with building romantic and friendly relationships. Intolerance and the inability to turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of others almost always become a tangible problem in creating social connections of one degree or another. No love can guarantee that a year later a tough person will not begin to reproach his soulmate for her bad habits or lack of ambition.
Take a closer look at your surroundings
Unfortunately, not everyone will like it if you suddenly start changing for the better. For some you will no longer be “convenient”, others will simply be jealous. If you want to be strong, change your unpleasant environment. “If there are people around you who don’t want to get better and “drag” you down with them without developing, then it’s better to reduce the limit of communication with them. Or cut them out of your life. Find those who are on the same path as you, those who will help you and, thanks to you, become better every day,” says Dmitry Sergeev. “If you don’t want to ruin your life, stay away from those who have already ruined theirs.”
Source: The Question
Sources used:
- https://pikacho.ru/kak-razvit-silnyj-harakter/
- https://psylogik.ru/80-kak-stat-silnoj-lichnostju.html
- https://www.sravni.ru/text/2017/9/26/kak-vospitat-v-sebe-silnyj-kharakter/
Look for people with similar aspirations
Nothing will help you develop character and rise higher and higher in self-development than communicating with people who will become like-minded people. In times when you may be facing failure, they will be able to find the right words to prevent you from sinking into despair. When you achieve even the smallest goal, they will rejoice with you in your success and inspire you to new achievements. If something doesn’t work out for them, you can always give them a helping hand. What you can do alone will be much less than what will be possible when you combine your efforts.
