How to become a good lover for a married man: psychology and practical recommendations

You strive to be the best in everything, to achieve perfection. You want to take even your romance with your lover to a new level. Achieve complete passion so that your lover is delighted with you, and you can become the only one in his heart. Or at least make such an impression on him that he won’t even think about breaking up with you. There are several points to pay attention to. In order to become a good lover of a married man, at a minimum, you need to look at the relationship through his eyes. And we will help you with this.

What pushes men to cheat

Before taking active steps, it is necessary to understand why a man decided to cheat, what he is looking for in an affair on the side. Then you will be able to satisfy his main need.

Some men simply submit to assertive girls.

Below are the main reasons for male infidelity:

  1. Family problems . This category includes a lack of home comfort, dissatisfaction in bed, the inability to discuss exciting topics with your spouse due to her lack of understanding, etc. Simply put, a man doesn’t feel like going home after work, and he’s ready to avoid showing up on the doorstep for as long as possible. Understand what exactly has become the bone of contention and fill in what is missing. The lover will be delighted.
  2. Male polygamy . People call such representatives of the stronger sex “womanizers.” If a man has this trait in his character, then marriage will certainly not correct him. Such a man is unlikely to ever refuse the opportunity to have a pleasant time with a pretty lady. It's not easy to keep him, because he only seeks variety, and you can't give it. Unless you start changing your look every week.
  3. Wife's appearance . Even if there are no scandals in the family, the wife loves and supports her husband, cooks deliciously and pleases him in bed, the man will still go to the left only because his wife has ceased to attract him as a woman. They can live in perfect harmony, but for intimacy the husband will go after another lady who is more beautiful and slimmer than his own wife.
  4. Boredom . Being the mistress of a man who cheats on his wife out of sheer boredom is not a pleasant situation. Such a man is always missing something, his wife can be a dazzling beauty, a wonderful and wise woman, but the man will still break the oath of fidelity for the sake of a change of scenery and entertainment. A mistress can create a little holiday at every meeting. Offer various options for spending time, use role-playing games, imitate the intense delight of his presence. He needs a burst of emotion, so give it to him. Do this in the park or, even worse, in their apartment. Go on a spontaneous trip. Give him surprises, throw underwear in his trouser pocket. But only if he really views relationships on the side as a way to cheer up, to feel the risk and the forbidden fruit.

Once you understand what made your lover fall into your arms, it's time to figure out how to become the number one lover of a married man in the world!

Is a relationship with a married man doomed or is there a chance?

When starting a relationship with a married man, women often look for sexual adventure and romance. However, having an intimate relationship with a lover, they fall in love with him, thereby violating the main rule of the psychology of relationships between lovers - not to fall in love. A woman who falls in love starts a program: to create a family with her beloved and give birth to children.

Statistics show that men extremely rarely destroy their family in order to create a new one. There can be a real chance to marry a lover only if he has taken a mistress in search of warmth and love that his wife does not give him.

If a man needs a mistress only for sexual pleasures, he will never leave his wife, whom he still loves. In this case, it is useless to put pressure on him; he will simply find himself a new, more flexible passion.

The ideal lover through the eyes of a man

In general, on a subconscious level, all married people imagine their mistress in a certain way. This image is imposed by films, stories of friends and my own experiences. After all, by and large, there are several aspects that any representative of the stronger sex would like.

Usually there are two aspects in the relationship between a man and his mistress: sexual and moral. And it is the first of them that most men put at the forefront.

Sexual aspect

At the very beginning of a relationship, a mistress is needed not so much for conversations and leisure time, but for bed pleasures.

A mistress is needed for bed pleasures.

Men decide to go to bed with another woman because of banal dissatisfaction in the marital bed. Sometimes in these situations it is not the wife’s fault, the man is simply afraid of his own desires and has complexes. Or he doesn’t want to appear to be a pervert in front of his wife, because he doesn’t want to hear accusations or ridicule from her lips. It’s easier with a mistress; a man has nothing in common with her except intimacy, so he can completely relax and enjoy.

But in order for your relationship with your lover to be not only passionate, but also comfortable for both, have a heart-to-heart talk with the man, discuss what you expect from each other, what you like, and what is taboo for you. Once you have resolved all the issues of concern on the shore, you can get down to business.

Here are some universal tips on how to become a good lover for a married man, satisfy your sweetheart in bed and make him want intimacy with you more and more:

  1. Don't refuse a man . If he already has a wife who “doesn’t give,” then why does he need you? Your task is to conquer a man with your relaxedness, experience, and emancipation. Of course, you also have bad days when you got off on the wrong foot and don’t want to indulge in love today. In this case, ask the man to excite you with touches, kisses, massage, etc. A refusal on your part will be justified when a person offers you something that you are not ready to accept for one reason or another (gangbang, strangulation, blows to the face during the process and other perversions that go beyond your norm).
  2. Don't shy away from experimenting . If you have never used striptease as foreplay, then why not try it with your lover? Don’t be afraid of new positions, make love in new places, because this is exactly what a man lacks in the gray everyday life of family life.
  3. Don't haggle . Under no circumstances should you turn access to the body into a commodity-market relationship. Forget the phrases: “Buy me a ring, and I’ll give you a blowjob” or “If you don’t do this, then don’t even dream of intimacy.” This behavior completely discourages a man from wanting to deal with you. For him, you descend to a girl of easy virtue who also asks for a reward for pleasure. Show your loved one that you feel good with him, that you want to please not only yourself, but also him. Believe me, he will appreciate it and will definitely be generous.

Bed is certainly one of the foundations of a strong relationship. You can become unforgettable for your chosen one and tie him to you through shared pleasure. But you won’t get far with this, it’s important to be an interesting person and attract a man as a person, so that he wants to build a relationship with you, and not just tumble in bed.

This is the time to talk about the moral side of relationships.

Moral aspect

Giving physical pleasure is not as difficult as moral pleasure, because in this matter it is important to be an understanding, smart, quick-witted, quick-witted, adequate and kind girl. And sometimes this requires much more time and effort than creating the image of an experienced and relaxed queen.

Satisfy not only a man’s sexual hunger.

If you don't know how to be the ideal lover for a married man, consider the following tips:

  1. Clean up before he arrives . Keep your meeting place with your lover clean. It doesn’t matter at all whether you live in your own apartment or rent it, the room should be comfortable. Before the man arrives, spend a little time on important little things: lay out clean and beautiful bed linen, ventilate the room, arrange candles, put a shower gel with a pleasant smell in the bathroom. Let the man not focus on such inconspicuous details, but he will clearly get the feeling that he is comfortable and well with you.
  2. Prepare delicious dishes . Yes, in the 21st century it is sometimes difficult to devote 1-2 hours to preparing dinner due to a busy schedule and busyness; it is easier to place an order through a food delivery service. But, believe me, even if a man has the opportunity to dine in the best restaurants in the city, he will certainly appreciate it if you prepare pizza, pie or the notorious borscht for his arrival. In this way you will show that you care about your lover and think about him. If cooking and you are two incompatible things, then take the time to practice preparing some simple dish that is difficult to spoil, for example, a salad or casserole.
  3. Be irresistible . Even if you don't claim to be a beauty pageant winner, making yourself attractive to a man is actually not that difficult. Well-groomed hair, delicate makeup, fresh manicure, a little fragrant perfume and a silk robe - and you are a goddess for him. And even though you are far from 20 years old, and your figure is not that of a model, the main thing here is how you present yourself and feel.
  4. Don't make scandals . Leave the hysterics, nervousness, reproaches and refusal of intimacy to the wives, who are ultimately betrayed by their husbands. If you are the girlfriend of a married lover, you should not behave this way, on the contrary - be the exact opposite of a grumpy and always dissatisfied spouse.
  5. Share his hobbies. Or at least support them. You don’t have to go fishing with your loved one every Saturday, play billiards with him or collect stamps, but if you respect a person’s interests, this makes you even more attractive in his eyes. Men are very grateful to their companions if they show interest in their hobby. Don’t abruptly change the topic and don’t roll your eyes when your sweetheart once again starts telling you about his games of tanks or what coins he doesn’t have enough for a complete collection.

Learn to feel your man, adapt to him and create a pleasant atmosphere. Do not skimp on compliments and admiration, and he will strive for the one who appreciates him.

Main mistakes

Mistakes are made in marital and open relationships. In a pair of lovers, dangerous mistakes also occur that will lead to the collapse of the relationship. Sometimes mistresses cannot keep their men only because they make mistakes that do not allow them to continue meetings. According to men, an ideal passion should not allow the following things in a relationship:

  • attempts to manipulate;
  • psychological tricks to control a lover, threats;
  • coldness, excessive detachment;
  • excessive curiosity, interrogation;
  • jealousy of his legal wife and other women;
  • questions about the family, attempts to help with advice;
  • desire to hold on, to induce divorce.

For relationships in a love triangle to work out successfully, lovers must know what they want from each other. A woman who is ready to make sacrifices can become a mistress. For those ladies who are not comfortable with the free communication format, this will become a source of disappointment and pain.

What an ideal lover needs to know: rules of behavior and secrets

To be a good lover to a married man, you need to understand that this is a special art that can be learned if desired. The most important thing that you should be able to do is to determine the line that neither you nor your lover should cross, only in this case your relationship will be long and happy.

Since being a good lover for a man is not an easy job, you need to make an effort so that your boyfriend wants to meet with you more and more often and does not even dare to think about breaking up.

Below are a few recommendations that will allow you to stay “afloat” for as long as possible and not provoke a breakup:

  • call and write only at the agreed time (alcohol intoxication, minor problems or the banal “I miss you” is not an excuse);
  • do not leave traces of your presence (hairpins, hair, lipstick, etc.) in the man’s house and in his car;
  • do not demand from your lover that he spend weekends, vacations and holidays with you;
  • do not discuss his wife, children and relatives with your loved one;
  • do not count on serious help from your boyfriend (material, physical or moral), but if the person provided you with this help of his own free will, do not take it for granted, be grateful;
  • do not make plans for a married man, arrange your own life and be ready to end your relationship with a man at any time when he or you want it;
  • watch your appearance;
  • compliment him;
  • surprise your loved one in bed;
  • be a muse for a man that inspires him;
  • do not burden the person with your problems, do not dump negativity on him;
  • keep your relationship a secret.

Universal advice that will help a woman become an ideal lover for her gentleman is to be his sexual partner and best friend at the same time. Give a man what he doesn’t get at home, this is what will allow you to tie a man to you and become for him that woman without whom he cannot imagine his life.

Be careful if you live in a small town, where any trip to a cafe or cinema can be accompanied by being caught red-handed, if not by your lover’s wife, then by other “well-wishers.”

Willingly accept his offers to diversify your intimate life, experiment, come up with something new. At the same time, be prepared to work as a psychologist and listen to your loved one, give him practical advice, reassure him and support him, without demanding anything in return.

Sexual aspect

Whatever one may say, the best lover is the one who is wonderful in sex. In such relationships, the main aspect is intimacy. If you can’t be perfect in bed, you’re unlikely to see him again.

Be natural. Fake gasps and screams, feigning an orgasm and other tricks do not go unnoticed. The man feels deceived, unable to provide true pleasure, and humiliated.

Be ready to experiment. Visit sex shops to buy fun toys and erotic lingerie. Don’t rule out extreme sports: sex in a fitting room, toilet, bushes or car will only warm up your lover’s interest. Try different positions and role-playing. Don't forget that debauchery and seductiveness are your strong point. It is unlikely that a wife agrees to become a sexual toy in bed.

Guess your partner's wishes. To quickly discover your deepest erotic dreams, you can talk about these topics and then bring them to life.

If you don’t know how to become an ideal lover, then just be active and relaxed in bed. Seduce, seduce, be active so that your partner sees your interest. Refuse sex only in a humorous manner to further stir up interest.


Men allegedly use deceptive tactics to avoid squabbles and unpleasant conversations. But in fact, passion works for them: “Oh, how cleverly I fooled around my finger!”

I decided a long time ago...

This technique is called the tricky word “presupposition”

When discussing, a man switches attention from a painful issue to a secondary one. Example: you have long agreed to go with him to his parents on the weekend

And he wants to meet with friends, but he knows that you don’t like these meetings. What is he doing? He says: “You know, my friends and I decided to meet on Sunday. Let’s agree with our parents that we will come to them on Saturday.” In other words, he is telling you that everything is decided and the only thing left is to talk to your parents. Two reactions are expected from you, and both suit him. Either you grumble that it’s not good to bother your parents and it’s better to postpone everything altogether, or you’ll go to them on Sunday alone.

Way to fight

Listen carefully to everything he says. Don't be fooled by the way the information is presented. In our case, we need to ask: “Maybe first we should discuss the advisability of meeting with friends?”

I didn't hear anything

The tactic of ignoring inconvenient questions and arguments is an easy way to avoid responsibility. “I didn’t hear,” he says.

Ways to fight

If he doesn't hear you and continues to talk about his own things, ask him to stop for a second and calmly, clearly ask your question.

If you are not sure that he heard you, ask again: “Did you hear what I said? Please repeat".

If you are talking about an uncomfortable issue, say something like this: “I ask you to discuss this with me, this is important to me, meet me halfway, it won’t take much time, listen to me!”

Wife's perspective

No matter how hard a man tries to hide his love, his wife is sensitive to the cooling of her person and the appearance of a rival. How does a married man in love behave?

  1. He becomes attentive to his appearance: body hygiene, perfume, wardrobe items. If a husband, who was not previously known for his love of sports, suddenly begins to regularly visit the gym, this may well be an alarm bell. Does he watch the caloric content of his food and exchange his worn-out T-shirts for stylish things? Got a new haircut? Something is clearly wrong here.
  2. He often stays late at work, works overtime on complex projects, and began going on business trips. If such zeal for work does not in any way affect your family budget, it means that he is either saving money for a pleasant surprise, or you have a new expense item.
  3. He forgets important family dates, avoids holiday feasts, joint weekends, breakfasts, dinners, and also avoids emotional conversations.
  4. He suddenly became generous with gifts, helping around the house and performing those duties that he usually refused. Perhaps he is tormented by guilt for cheating.
  5. Your love bed has become a place to sleep. He is tired, dissatisfied, irritated, wants peace, anything but sex.

If you notice one or two signs, you should be wary, but under no circumstances panic. Perhaps your suspicions are wrong. If all the symptoms are combined into one complete picture, the conclusion suggests itself. It's up to you to decide how you will act in this love triangle.

How to behave if you are also married

Women start relationships on the side for various reasons:

  • houses are not given enough attention and warmth;
  • too little sex or compliments;
  • I want a love story like in books and films.

Boredom comes in last place among all this. If you ask men about the reasons for additional relationships, they often say that essentially everything is good: the wife is excellent, the children are smart and obedient, there is harmony at home, but all this is too boring, and you want to tickle your nerves.

80% of reasons for cheating are gender different

Women “get” what they are deprived of, men make life more diverse. Having received what she wants from her chosen one, the woman begins to experience strong feelings. She finally feels like a full-fledged person and is ready to throw her life to hell for the sake of her lover. After all, he is a wonderful and sensitive person.

But at the same time he forgets a simple truth: in such relationships a person manifests himself in the role of a suitor. This is not the role he lives by most of the time. In a family, this is a tired husband who forgets about warm words and tender kisses, sometimes leaving his family alone with problems. There is no need to create illusions and change your life for his sake.

Pay attention to:

  • sex and spending time with your husband. Maybe a break from your usual routine will refresh your relationship?
  • means of protection - you may find yourself in a very delicate situation that will ruin the lives of all participants;
  • what you say to your friends and trusted people. It is better not to say anything at all or to be very vague;
  • your reputation. Work on an impeccable image in the eyes of others - this can play into your hands in many situations.

Two lovers in marriage is a good option. They know what they want, clearly define the rules of meetings, do not allow feelings to overshadow common sense, and protect their reputations. It’s more difficult with single chosen ones - you need to teach them not to bother you with calls and messages at inconvenient times, constantly remind them of the rules, and make sure that no one gets into trouble.

The key to awareness

A married man always gives a woman some very important condition, which she herself lacks. If you have such relationships in your life now, then think about what really important things they give you that you don’t have without them?

  • Maybe in this relationship you feel unconditionally loved? Maybe you feel like a princess, a girl who is tenderly loved and cuddled?
  • Maybe the presence of this man in your life gives you a feeling of safety and security?
  • Maybe he appreciates your talents and you as a person?
  • Maybe you are attracted by the fact that this man is proud of you and you are very valuable to him?
  • Maybe next to him your heart opens and you become tender and loving, full of experiences and feelings?

Recognize your deficit - it is what leads to this relationship. This is a key task on the path to freeing yourself from them. Feel right now: what hooked you?

Your internal deficit will be drawn to this person, although you may understand perfectly well that you do not need this relationship at all.

Reasons why girls become lovers

American psychologists say that any woman, due to any life circumstances, can become a mistress. Among the most common reasons why this happens are the following:

  • Low self-esteem. Many mistresses are girls who have complexes about their appearance or something else. They do not consider themselves worthy of relationships with good guys, therefore, for lack of anything better, they agree to such a relationship so as not to depreciate at all in their own eyes.
  • Hunters. This type of women can be classified as bitches. The material component is the main cement on which they build relationships. Moreover, the richer her victim, the stronger she will sink her claws into her. “In war, all means are fair,” such ladies think and dream of marrying a millionaire.

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

  • Love. The most basic reason is real feelings, which cannot be overcome. But if they arise in conscientious people, burdened with “good” spouses and children, it is quite possible that such a relationship will not go beyond a long romance.
  • Sex. Dissatisfaction in sexual life can push both a single girl and a married lady into the arms of a handsome married man. With the help of a love relationship, a woman satisfies her intimate needs and receives confirmation of her attractiveness.

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