How to win, seduce and keep a married man: advice from psychologists

Usually, when entering into a romantic relationship, most women assume that their chosen one may later turn out to be their husband. However, some men do not at all believe that a romance should necessarily lead to an official marriage, or simply do not want to rush into a proposal. How can I change this?

Relationship with a married man: psychology

Since childhood, all girls and women have heard the phrase that “you can’t build happiness on someone else’s misfortune .

It is also no secret that you cannot take someone else’s property.

But life often develops in such a way that a woman becomes attracted to a married man. In such a situation, she decides that her own desires are more important than the well-being of her rival and her children .

From a psychological point of view, the initial situation in which the lover’s family finds itself is of great importance.

If he lives absolutely calmly and safely with his wife, loves his children and does not want to destroy his marriage, then the intentional actions of the homewrecker can only be assessed from a critical point of view.

For the sake of her happiness, she seeks to destroy a completely prosperous family. There is also a high probability that the man who has been taken away will very quickly begin to miss the comfort of family and children , which will lead to his return. In this case, all efforts will be in vain.

On the other hand, the behavior of a mistress can be quite justified if the person she meets is initially unhappy in marriage and simply cannot decide to take the last step.

This situation occurs when the following circumstances exist:

A lover suffers with his long-unloved wife, with whom he constantly has scandals for any reason . The parties do not file a divorce solely because of children. This position is not correct, since in an atmosphere of general tension, children only receive emotional trauma. Happy parents living separately are better than the appearance of a family.
The current wife does not hide the fact that she needs her husband solely to satisfy her material needs. At the same time, she does not show any care or attention, is not interested in his desires and plans.
Spouses live with each other solely out of habit, like neighbors. This is especially true for couples who occupy a certain position in society and do not want to somehow change their existing status.
The appearance of a woman who evokes certain emotions becomes a powerful incentive to change your life.

How to push a guy to take decisive action

I want him to propose

Try not to live in a civil marriage with a man, preferring meetings in neutral territories. Explain to your lover that you have always been opposed to cohabitation, and, despite your feelings for him, you are not ready to give up your beliefs. However, periodically spend a long time together so that he can see what a wonderful wife he can lose in you. For example, you can go on a trip for a couple of days, living together for this period, or go with friends for an overnight stay in nature - such situations will be a chance for you to demonstrate your skills in everyday life, show your best side and make the guy bored after the “departure” "

Also, the boyfriend should see that you are an excellent candidate for starting a family. Try not to show him the negative sides of your character and work to eradicate them - a good wife should not be grumpy, touchy, uncompromising, flighty or lacking initiative. Many guys from their youth dream about what their ideal wife will be like, and in these dreams, most often, she is well-groomed, beautiful, caring, passionate, thrifty, charming, passionate about interesting hobbies and attentive. Try to get closer to this ideal, and then not only your chosen one will want to see you in the status of his wife.

For a man to want a family

Many men live by prejudices or are based on their negative experiences - it seems to them that marriage does not promise any changes for the better, but only worsens the relationship. If in your close circle there is a happy married couple whose family you can call exemplary, then your companion should get to know these people. Meet in couples, invite them to visit - let the example of this successful family periodically flash before the eyes of your chosen one.

And, of course, a man should strive to spend as much time as possible with you personally. You can become an integral and most enjoyable part of his life, and the decision to subsequently marry will become completely natural and logical for him. To achieve this, take care of your chosen one, do not limit him in sex, do not provoke him into conflicts, do not throw hysterics, become his best friend and main support.

What should you keep in mind?

Initially, it is important to understand that not every man will leave the family, no matter how persistent his mistress is. Representatives of the stronger sex tend to engage in light affairs that are not of significant importance to them .

Divorce implies a change in the usual way of life, certain material losses, separation from children, etc.

To decide on all this, a man must have strong feelings for his chosen one or have problems in his marriage.

If there is neither one nor the other, then the likelihood of him leaving the family is very small .

When taking action, you need to be aware of the consequences of your behavior. If for a wife the departure of her husband from their family comes as a surprise, then the woman will suffer serious moral damage.

Often such a divorce becomes a real blow. The mistress must understand that she will be the culprit of the other woman’s suffering. If there are children in the marriage, then the degree of her guilt is significantly aggravated.

You will have to live with such a moral burden. In addition, the man himself may have a hard time experiencing his betrayal, deteriorating relationships with children, or financial disputes with his ex-wife.

Subconsciously, he will blame his mistress for all these problems if leaving the family was accomplished mostly under her pressure.

Also, do not forget that a person who betrayed once can do it again. Often, after some time, mistresses are left with nothing, repeating the fate of their ex-wife.

Is it possible to get married after a civil marriage?

There is no clear opinion on this matter, so civil marriage has both its fans and its opponents. So, what are the pros and cons of cohabitation?

Minuses

Living in a civil marriage, a woman subconsciously understands that the final choice has not been made, and it was not made by the person from their couple who delays the signature or declares that the stamp in the passport will not change anything.
Most men are quite easy about such marriages, and it is much easier for them to leave their common-law wife than to leave their official one.
Being a common-law wife, a woman may feel insecure about her life partner. In addition, in the company of married friends, she most often feels a little deprived, although she may not even admit it to herself.
It is also better for the couple's common children to be brought up in an official marriage rather than in a civil one - in the event of a separation of the spouses, they will be legally protected.
Society, most often, does not take civil marriages seriously, and even after several years of your life together, many mutual friends and relatives will not consider you a real family.
Separation in such marriages is also quite easy. A common-law husband can break off the relationship without going into unnecessary explanations. With an official marriage, this would not happen - the court divorces the spouses, and it also deals with the division of property.

pros

Having not lived together before marriage, many people are subsequently forced to face unpleasant discoveries about their other half. It may turn out that the wife is completely unable to cope with basic household issues, and the man is accustomed to the woman taking on the main responsibilities of running the household. Of course, most often before marriage, couples try to discuss the main nuances of their future life together, but theory often diverges from practice. This is the main advantage of cohabitation. If you do not want such a development of the situation, but are against civil marriages, then try living together for a couple of weeks after the engagement.
Perhaps you yourself want to end the relationship abruptly - the absence of a stamp in your passport will help you avoid various legal vicissitudes.
If you have not lived with a man before, then in a civil marriage you gain experience of living together, which, even in the event of separation, will be useful to you in the future.

Why doesn't he make the first move?

The lack of activity on the partner’s side is explained by the following possible reasons:

Not going anywhere. His promises to leave his wife may not have any basis in reality. A mistress is seen as a temporary hobby with no further plans for the future.
Not sure about the right thing to do. A man may worry that he is making a fatal mistake. The question arises: is it worth giving up an established family life and starting all over again?
Feels remorse. If the lover’s wife does not suspect anything, believes him and shows concern, then pangs of conscience on his part are inevitable.
The absence of real grounds for breaking up with his wife leads a man to understand his own guilt. Having children only makes the situation worse. The reluctance to injure them may be stronger than feelings for your mistress.
Takes a passive position. The lover simply waits for the situation to resolve itself. He does not want to make a fateful decision, to take responsibility. It’s easier for him to shift the problem onto the woman’s shoulders.

Signs that he cares about you that will make it easier for you to marry a guy

No matter what beautiful words a guy says about love, actions will say it best. Before you marry a guy, make sure that you are not a temporary toy, but an important person in his life.

You will definitely notice that he:

listens to your opinion and fulfills any requests, even if he doesn’t really like it;
gives gifts and flowers for reasons or just because;
after meeting you, I began to dress stylishly, received a promotion, and took up self-development;
often gives compliments, notices the slightest changes in appearance, and looks after her beautifully;
shows tenderness and affection towards you;
makes joint plans for a life together.

The guy will show that you are dear to him

Example of a letter of recognition

How to attract a married man? You can try writing him a letter about your feelings :

“Dear, I decided to write you a letter in which I will tell you everything that I am embarrassed to say in person.

For me, you are the best man in the world. You are kind, affectionate, generous and very smart.

And what is your sense of humor worth! It’s very hard for me to realize that you are not free. I understand that I am committing a vile act by communicating with a married man, but I can’t help myself.

Not a single person from my circle compares to you. If you choose me, you will become the happiest person on the planet. I promise to always be beautiful, cheerful and interesting to you.

With me you will forget about all everyday problems. I will not demand anything, constantly nag and criticize. I only want to be with you because I love you!”

Magic spells for a quick wedding

Some girls eventually despair of getting a marriage proposal from their lover, so they decide to turn to magical rituals. If you sincerely believe that rituals can provide you with a long-awaited marriage, then you can resort to this magical advice: after someone else’s wedding that you attend, try to immediately after the celebration get the shoes that the bride was wearing.

When washing these shoes on the street at night, say:

“Tread on your shoes, work for me so that I can get married as soon as possible. Keep your mouth shut, keep quiet about everything. Amen".

It is possible that this particular ritual will help you achieve your goal.

How to turn his head?

How to win the heart of a married man and make him constantly think about you? To charm and hook a lover, you need to adhere to the following rules:

become a source of new sensations and changes;
always look well-groomed and stylish;
fulfill all his sexual desires;
do not demand anything;
do not criticize;
constantly demonstrate a positive mood;
show care and tenderness;
tasty food;
praise and encourage.

Magic to help

Whether to influence the situation with the involvement of otherworldly forces or not is a difficult question.

Sometimes fate turns out differently than you want. Having been rejected by what seemed to be her man, a woman after some time meets the one truly destined for her.

By interfering with witchcraft rituals in the course of actions , not everyone finds happiness. But if your heart tells you that the path is right, it’s worth a try. The success of rituals depends on the strength of desire and the personal energy invested.

Plot 1. Flower

By interfering with witchcraft rituals in the course of actions, not everyone finds happiness.
For the ritual you need to prepare:

natural essential jasmine oil;
a new needle;
candle;
the chosen one's mummy (nails, hair, blood, sperm, saliva - whatever, the ingredient does not affect the result);
pot with soil and seedling.

The names of the couple are written on the candle with a needle, jasmine oil is applied on top, the candle is placed in a candlestick, set on fire with the words: “Names are intertwined, fate is united. Fire, water, earth merged into one, bonded by my deeds. We got married under the sky and were never separated by anyone.”

You need to wait until it burns completely , collect the wax, and roll the mummy into a ball. The cocoon is placed in the depths of the pot, and the plant is planted on top. Every time you water it, you need to repeat the spell words. As the flower grows, the bonds of love will strengthen.

Plot 2. Amulet

Helps make a decision about divorce, stimulates the erotic side of relationships. To carry out the ceremony, two identical circles are cut out of paper, the third is made of foil.

The names of lovers are written on paper forms, stacked with inscriptions side by side, placing a piece of foil between them.

The center of the circles is pierced with a needle threaded with a red wool thread with the words: “I unite souls, bodies, thoughts, feelings, forever uniting them into one.” The thread is tied into knots, the amulet is hidden away from prying eyes, and they do not tell anyone about what has been done.

How to get it?

It is possible to get a man only if he himself is ready to enter into a serious relationship with his mistress.

If a woman is viewed solely as a temporary partner for sex and nothing more, then she will not be able to drag her partner to the registry office with any tricks.

If there is interest on the part of the man, then the situation may end in favor of the mistress. First you need to find out the basis on which the current marriage rests .

Perhaps these are common material interests, children, habit, guilt, etc. Then you gradually need to collect information about the wife’s personality in order to compile her psychological portrait.

Having the necessary information, you can gradually begin to act. who is worried about children should make it clear that the new lover will not interfere with their meetings and will try to make friends with the children.

tired of scandals needs to create the most calm and comfortable environment possible. An insecure lover should be constantly praised, and a sexually unsatisfied lover should be satisfied.

It is important to remain patient and not put too much pressure on your partner. Men, as a rule, take a long time to mature enough to make serious decisions.

What makes men propose?

Attractiveness

“It’s rags and love notes that make a woman attractive” - I read this saying in some book. The essence of this phrase is as follows: a woman should look good, dress with taste, take care of herself and arouse the interest of many men.

Clothing should highlight your femininity. Femininity is not when all the charms are visible at first sight, but when, when looking at you, men have a desire to lift the veil of secrecy - what is hidden under clothes. Too revealing, sexy clothes may make you want to have sex, but it is unlikely to propose marriage.

The most feminine outfit is a good dress. Whatever your figure, you can definitely highlight your strengths in it. If you want to get married, then of all the things in your wardrobe there should be dresses! Beautiful - hair and makeup in pastel colors will add soft confidence to your appearance. All men like well-groomed women. Love your appearance, devote time to it, and men will pay attention to you.

Let's move on to the "love notes." Your chosen one must understand that you are interesting not only to him. Every man is a conqueror. If he sees that the girl he wants to conquer is no longer interesting to anyone, the man will have a question: is this girl worth his efforts? On the contrary, if several gentlemen are fighting for the heart of a lady, then the object is truly worthy. Such a girl should not think about how to marry a man. If a man emerges victorious in this battle, this emphasizes his “toughness.” You need to approach this game wisely. You should not demonstrate that you may be interested in several men at the same time. The task is to show that you are interesting to many, but at the same time you are a very constant and loyal girl. If you have chosen a man for yourself, then only he will be the subject of your attention. In this case, the man will take you seriously, and at the same time he will understand that if he loses you, you will not suffer alone.

Self-esteem

For some women, this quality is passed on through genes, or it is instilled in them by their parents from childhood. If you do not have self-esteem, you definitely need to develop it. Men, one way or another, subconsciously or consciously, will check whether you have it or not. Remember the wise phrase “We are treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated.” Under no circumstances should you show a man that you are concerned about the question - how to marry a man)))

One of my friends, a very pretty girl, is not having a serious relationship with the opposite sex. She falls in love, suffers, and then gets abandoned. Once at a New Year's party, my friend and I saw this picture. An acquaintance was waiting for a call from her boyfriend. They agreed that after the party, a friend would pick her up. Without waiting for the call, she called him herself and heard the following phrase: “Baby, I’m so tired, take a taxi and come to me.” And she went, despite our assurances that this should not be done under any circumstances. Of course, not even a month had passed since she was abandoned.

Never let men humiliate you, even if you don’t consider the relationship serious. If your behavior depends only on the desire or reluctance of the young man, then this relationship is doomed to failure. If a man doesn’t keep his promises, doesn’t listen to your opinion, endlessly emphasizes his freedom, and flirts with other girls in your presence, it means he doesn’t respect you. If you allow him to continue to behave this way, he will soon become bored with you, with all the ensuing consequences. Don't be afraid to set conditions and highlight your interests. In this case, the likelihood that the man will change his attitude towards you is significantly high. But if the situation does not change, feel free to leave this young man. Don't waste your precious time. Perhaps he is a pathological boor and an ill-mannered person. Nothing good will come of this in family relationships.

One day, my boyfriend (who later became my husband) and I were invited to a wedding by friends. In the waiting room for the bride and groom, my friend approached a girl and they struck up a conversation. They talked for a long time and laughed. And I stood in the company of friends and was simply indignant! And it wasn't that I was jealous. I knew for sure that I was loved, and this girl was not the subject of my boyfriend’s interests. But I was outraged by the fact that I was being treated with extreme disrespect. In front of everyone, my friend left me aside and devoted a very long time to another girl. I wasn't against him interacting with the opposite sex, but this wasn't how it should have happened. He had to introduce us to each other, and give me the opportunity to leave their conversation if it seemed uninteresting to me. Of course, I didn’t make a scene of jealousy in front of everyone. But when their communication ended, and my friend decided to return to my company, I did not give him the opportunity to do this. I didn’t notice him all evening, I talked with his friends and my girlfriends. My friend couldn't wait until the party was over so he could be alone with me to talk. He guessed the reason for my coldness. Of course, a friend told me that this was his former classmate, etc. I explained to my chosen one how I felt in this situation. He asked for forgiveness, and such insinuations were not repeated among us. There were other moments when I felt uncomfortable because of some of his actions. The friend did not do them intentionally. Perhaps other girls had previously allowed him to do similar things, and for this reason he considered them the norm. Perhaps the fact that I constantly emphasized that I demanded respect, and not just love, made a man want to propose to me.

Remember, a man can introduce you as his wife only if he respects you.

Independence

Under no circumstances show your chosen one that you depend on his decision to make you happy. One of my friends met the man of her dreams, and of course she really wanted to marry him. But until the last moment she kept her mark. Soon the young man invited her to move in with him. After his divorce from his first wife, he did not offer cohabitation to any girl. By this act, he wanted to emphasize that their relationship had entered a serious phase, but this was not yet a marriage proposal. Of course she wanted to live together. But my friend took time to think. She made it clear to the young man that she was used to living alone and this had its advantages, and that the question of how to marry a man definitely did not arise for her. The friend demonstrated to her man that it was not he who made her happy with his invitation, but she, by agreeing to live with him, compromised her habits and thereby demonstrated her trust in him. She constantly made it clear that if they separated, she would not disappear. She is a completely independent person. The man proposed to her, because otherwise he could lose her.

Your independence should also manifest itself in the presence of personal interests and hobbies. A man must understand that your life is filled not only with him.

I have a cousin, a very successful and quite wealthy man. After his first unsuccessful marriage, he just can’t meet the woman he would like to propose to. Moreover, he purposefully searches, meets girls, and does not find them. Once I asked him “Who are you looking for? There are so many free, beautiful, smart girls around, is there really no worthy one?”

“I want her to be smart, beautiful, understanding, caring and definitely strive for something. I tried to realize myself. It doesn’t matter who she will be - a businesswoman or a teacher, the main thing is that she is captivated by something other than me. Only with such a person will I be interested.”

Feminine weakness

It would seem, how can you be an independent and at the same time a weak wife? This is possible. You need to emphasize your weakness in the little things. Ask a man to help you sort out a difficult situation, fix a shelf for you in your apartment, or bring medicine when you are sick. Give a man the opportunity to take care of you, realize his masculine significance, and use his strength and intelligence. Just don't do it too often.

Compliments

Who among us doesn't like compliments? Praise your chosen one. Highlight his best qualities. Appreciate achievements. Do it sincerely. If a man next to you feels like the “king of the world,” he will want this feeling to last as long as possible.

Optimism

Which of us likes sad people? A woman who is always complaining about her fate cannot arouse the interest of a man for a long time. Be cheerful, exude optimism and then the man will be comfortable in your company. He will want the celebration of life to always be nearby. During my student years, when there was no Internet yet, young people very often met on the street. I remember when my friends and I were walking, cheerfully discussing something, crumpled, and they were sure to try to get to know us.

Attention to the hobbies of the chosen one

People who have something to talk about are interested in being together. Find out as much as possible about how your man lives, what interests him, what he is interested in, what books he reads, what films he watches. It is not at all necessary to agree with his opinion on all points. You can argue or agree - the main thing is not to be indifferent. Be an interesting conversationalist, and then he will not want to look for communication on the side. Tell him about your hobbies, maybe they will interest him too. Look for as many points of contact between your interests as possible.

Behavior rules

The man is a hunter. And no matter how much you want to force things, you cannot forget about the nature of male behavior. At the stage of the candy-bouquet period, the most active actions you can take is the process of getting to know each other. A girl can take the first step to attract a man's attention. This strategic moment must be used to the maximum.

Once, even before marriage, I was in a club, and one man caught my attention. He was the center of attention as he was the organizer of the party. And I was sitting in a circle of friends and didn’t really stand out from the general background. I invited him to a slow dance myself. During the dance we met, I expressed my admiration for the organization of the event, and complimented him. He sensed my interest. After the dance, I no longer paid attention to his person. We were chatting happily with our friends, and I didn’t even look in his direction. Of course, the man was intrigued, and he himself began to take active steps.

Do not impose yourself on a man under any circumstances. Especially at the first stage of your meetings. Let him plan the process of winning your attention. Let the man be the initiator of calls and dates. And if he is very interested, try to spend time with him as often as possible.

Simply put, it’s not you who should think about how to marry a man, but the man who should think about how to make you want to marry him! Let him get used to your presence. But a break is still needed. The moment when it is needed must be felt. When you realize that a man is already very passionate, disappear from his sight for a while. Don't warn him about your absence. Let him be tormented by doubts and feel how much he misses you. And when you return, be sure to provide an important reason for your absence. A man should not think that you are frivolous.

Attitude towards money and gifts

Your behavior when a man pays and gives you gifts is also a very important and subtle nuance. If you emphasize that a man is obliged to give expensive gifts and take him to prestigious restaurants, you will become like a prostitute. But they don’t marry prostitutes, they are kept. I am always surprised by the behavior of some girls, for whom it is important that an acquaintance takes them to restaurants, treats them to expensive dishes and rare drinks. Telling their friends about the coolness of the restaurant, they will not be able to hide their attitude towards this fact and the man. It turns out that in a relationship with a man, what is important to them is not his attention, not his personality, but free food, even in an expensive restaurant. And this will be worse than prostitution. It turns out that they sell themselves for food. A man will definitely feel it. His attitude will be appropriate. Of course, you don’t need to be like feminists and offer to pay yourself on every occasion. If you are invited to a restaurant, let the man know that the most important thing this evening is him. You enjoy being with him. Do not order the most expensive and rare dishes; in some cases it will be better to let the man choose.

Housework

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Really, who doesn't like to eat delicious food? Your ability to cook, most likely, will not be the decisive factor, but if you are at your best in this matter, the young man simply will have no choice. What can bring you together the most is cooking dinner together. Firstly, there will be an opportunity to find out your boyfriend’s culinary preferences, and secondly, this ritual is very reminiscent of a family idyll. 11. Gaining the authority of loved ones

There will come a time when a man wants to introduce you to his friends, people close to him, and possibly his parents. This is your chance to strengthen your position. Your task is to charm them. Positive reviews about you will give an additional incentive to a man to decide to connect his life with you. Under no circumstances should you flirt with your chosen one's friends. You will be perceived as a girl of easy virtue. The best way to get them to praise you is to behave naturally, joke, tell interesting stories, listen carefully to other storytellers, ask relevant questions, etc. You need to behave with more restraint with your parents and demonstrate your respect for them as much as possible. When meeting with your parents, choose more modest clothing. Older people are critical of frivolity in clothing.

Where is the best place to meet?

You need to meet where your partner is comfortable and comfortable .

If he is afraid of being noticed by his friends, he should choose remote from his usual habitat .

Perhaps his mistress’s place of residence fully meets his requirements. Then solving the issue will not be difficult.

Wealthy and influential lovers often do not hide their partners, since their wives value their position and will not divorce because of their husband’s fleeting hobbies.

Such men can meet their mistress openly, appear with her in public places, and introduce her to business partners and friends.

It is important to understand that such free behavior speaks more about the man’s promiscuity, rather than the seriousness of his intentions.

Is it worth counting on loyalty?

Whether the new lover will be faithful or after a few months will go in search of a new passion depends on the type of man, as well as on the reasons why it was possible to take him away from his wife. If the marriage broke up due to a real lack of feelings between the spouses, then, most likely, with the right actions on the part of the mistress, the new marriage can become long and happy. If the lover is just a womanizer who collects women’s hearts, then you can’t count on family happiness.

How to keep your lover: advice from a psychologist

How to tie a family man to you? Following the following recommendations from psychologists will help keep a married man:

Provide him peace and comfort. If scandals often arise with your wife, then a calm atmosphere will become a real outlet.
Minimum requirements. The wife probably asks you to do something around the house, take care of the children, buy groceries, etc. The mistress should not demand anything, demonstrating a complete lack of self-interest or other practical motives.
Tasty food. Of course, this condition only works if the culinary abilities of the mistress significantly exceed the talents of the wife. Delicious homemade cutlets instead of store-bought dumplings are a powerful weapon.
The joy of meeting. Each arrival of a lover should be accompanied by sincere delight, a manifestation of affection and care. A man’s vanity will be flattered by such attention, especially if he has an eternally dissatisfied and demanding wife waiting at home.
Varied sex. Perhaps this is the main reason for men leaving the family. As soon as a woman appears who is completely sexually satisfying, the wife who is tired and less active in bed fades into the background.

From mistress to wife: 5 tips on how to change your status

Or rather, we will tell you what not to do. Using the example of popular advice that home-grown psychologists love to give to women.

Blackmail him with sex. He was with you for sex, but now he’s used to it, and you can take advantage of it.

Yes of course. Apparently, it is assumed that the man is an experimental hamster: he spun the wheel - he was given a cookie, he stopped spinning - he was shocked, and now he spins it day and night until he goes to his furry forefathers. In reality, of course, such men do exist, but you are unlikely to smile at the prospect of getting such a creature as your husband.

What to do: Never use sex as a means of manipulation. Because men actually most often have mistresses for sex. And that means his wife was already doing the same thing. And you yourself know what she achieved with this. Good sex is your trump card. But it is not good if you hide marked cards in your sleeve.

Present yourself like an expensive prize. A man must conquer you, only then will he appreciate you

I’m not like that, I’m waiting for the tram, of course, of course. Is it okay that you are already together and, presumably, not for the first day? And he has already conquered you, otherwise what is he doing in your life?

What to do: in fact, there is some truth in this advice, but you just need to dig it out. This is what it really looks like: your relationship is a protracted candy-bouquet period, and that’s why they are valuable. For both of you. You must understand that sooner or later they will end. Either in your favor or not. And in order not to bring their end closer in favor of your wife, do not try to change them artificially. Theatrical pathos will ruin everything instantly.

Find out why he is unhappy in his marriage. Try to find out as much as possible about his wife's strengths and weaknesses, but don't try to compete with her. Become the complete opposite of his wife.

And then - what? Then he will crawl to you on his knees with a wedding ring in his teeth? Why on earth? You either look like his wife because he prefers a certain type of woman, or you don't look like him because he was looking for someone completely different. That's it, there are no other options. How can you stop being who you are? And are you really going to seriously ask him for details of his life with his wife? That's disgusting.

What to do: Oddly enough, yes, find out why he is unhappy in his marriage. But for this you don’t need to ask him about his wife. To do this, you just need to be more attentive to the person who is next to you. You don't need to know what he's missing at home. You need to understand what exactly connects him to you. And, if it’s not “just sex,” then rely on this connection. And don’t try to saw through Hymen’s rusty chains. You'll get tired of sawing.

Date other men. Let him see that you are a woman who is interesting to others. This way you will make him jealous, and he will try to keep you. At any cost.

The maximum you can achieve by doing this is to let him know that you are completely satisfied with the current state of affairs: you are together, but everyone has their own personal life. Great story! Now he is sure that everything is fine with you. Although, of course, he will be upset when you marry someone else. Sadness!

What to do: if you are ready to date other men, you are reading this article in vain, fact. Because a young lady who dreams of marrying her beloved is usually not able to look at other men as men. But sitting at home, as if in a mansion, waiting for a visit from your lover, is also the wrong tactic. It's very simple: not a single man has ever married out of jealousy; everyone marries only out of love. It is equally difficult to love a woman who does not value you and plans to change you for someone more interesting, and a woman who sees you as a light in the window and the only connecting thread with life. Just live and take care of yourself.

Become his personal psychologist. Family problems are what brought him to you. Always greet him with joy, listen and encourage him. And then he will understand that he can no longer live without you.

Well, yes, you weren’t sad enough that he was married, now listen to how he feels bad with this very wife, and feels good with you. Great advice! If you start doing this, your self-esteem will plummet to the bottom. Because if you're so good and she's so bad, why the hell is he still married to her and not you?

What to do: understand that serious and long-term relationships are not built on sex. And they are not built on love either: what we take for love is actually love, which will either develop into a deep feeling or not, and you won’t know. Relationships, oddly enough, are built on friendship. Do you remember the quote from the most important women's novel? “For a marriage to be happy, husband and wife must be cut from the same cloth.” We can add more platitudes: “Happy people do not look at each other, but in one direction.” In fact, all this is true. And all you have to do is be friends with your man. But friendship does not happen one way. A friend will not hurt you by telling you what is unpleasant to you. Do you see what we're getting at? You don't need to be his personal psychologist. By doing this you will only injure yourself and achieve nothing.

So what should you do? Where is the very advice that will help you guaranteed to take a man away from your family and marry yourself? We answer: every question already contains an answer. And this answer is this: you cannot take a man away from the family and marry him. You can only become for him the woman with whom he wants to spend the rest of his days. We have written what you need to do for this and what you don’t need to do. And then everything depends on you. And not from what you will or will not do. And how soon you understand why you need this married man at all. And is it necessary?

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How to marry him to yourself?

Here it is important to take into account the man’s temperament and the influence of external circumstances. If a lover has a doubtful, phlegmatic character, then force him to make a decision .

A woman must be given a condition - either you leave the family and marry me, or we break up. Otherwise, an indecisive partner may lead a double life for years.

With an active and independent man, you should act differently. It is important to emphasize your own self-sufficiency and fuel his interest with jealousy.

The understanding that his mistress will not be content with a secondary role for long and will easily find a replacement for him will prompt the man to take a decisive step.

Of course, you can also use the time-tested technique of “unexpectedly” getting pregnant. But this option, firstly, is a deception, and secondly, it is very risky.

If a man has children in his first marriage, then it is not at all necessary that he will leave the first child for the second.

As a result, a woman may be left alone while pregnant.

Also, mistresses often resort to outright tricks - they create “random” conditions under which the wife finds out about the betrayal.

This option is most likely doomed to failure, since the man may suspect something is wrong. In addition , the wife does not necessarily decide to divorce , but she can give an ultimatum and force her to break off the relationship on the other side.

Background

If your parents criticized you for getting a B as a child and were wary of getting an A-minus, don’t be surprised why insatiable “achievement” becomes your main goal in life as an adult.

The desire to be appreciated is insatiable, as it gives rise to the illusion of happiness: I am loved not because I am, but because I can.

The race of perfectionism is like a squirrel wheel: the harder you spin, the less you notice what’s around you. Life flies by because you don’t know how to stop the moment in time, enjoy it and realize its value. Your illusion of happiness is in running, or eternal escape from yourself.

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No matter how much I wanted to lay all this out to the client after the first session, I couldn’t, because I signed up for a different goal: not to heal, but to further injure, not to stop the squirrel, but to drive it into sweat, spinning that same wheel of samsara until exhaustion.

This may seem strange to you and even contrary to the code of honor of a psychologist, but there is a common sense here. Sometimes we need to run even harder to stop. Perhaps twist your leg, or worse, break your neck - here everyone has their own psychosomatics.

Having analyzed this in those very “hidden benefits” at the next sessions with Maria, I realized that the client’s request was actually about this: “Stop me if you can.” A challenge to yourself and the world, which turned out to be not entirely friendly to the little girl. She just wanted parental love, and they demanded that she live up to the level. She just wanted to play with dolls, and they shoved textbooks and tutors under her nose. She wanted to be a child, she was grown up too early and was driven into a guilt complex.

Be that as it may, what was open and obvious to me was tightly closed to the client herself. How to structure a session so that it looks like it corresponds to that very plan, and not to personality therapy - that’s my headache throughout all our meetings. Not without pleasure, I watched the film several times on the topic: “The Hitch Method” starring Will Smith. And you know what I realized: you shouldn’t stop a client from his desire just because it seems unreasonable and untenable to you.

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We seriously planned dates, meetings, rehearsed skits and acted out dialogues in the style of theatrical productions. I sat on a chair in the role of the man of her dreams and listened to her monologues, I played the role of a lover and an unhappy person, without trying to convince her otherwise. Why? Yes, because this is an image that is imprinted in her brain, and not reality, because this is a life-long game. You need to play it to the climax, get your well-deserved applause and move on.

Take our test: Test - what psychological trauma did you experience as a child?

Love spell on a thing

If you have any clothes with you that belong to your beloved man, then they can be used to carry out a conspiracy. Take a thread of the same color as the clothing and sew it into the lining so that the seam is invisible. During the sewing process they say:

The thread is not cut, but bitten off or torn off. The clothes must be given to your lover within up to 3 days. And a man should wear it at least once.

Give the man the palm

No, this is not a call to suddenly move to complete patriarchy, if suddenly you had equality in your relationship. Just value male freedom and let your chosen one make his own decisions.

Don’t be the first to talk about marriage, and especially never resort to blackmail or threats. Pregnancy and calling for responsibility are also not the best way to resolve the situation. Let the man take this step himself, and don’t force him or starve him out. Believe me, such a proposal will be much more pleasant for you, and in this case you will be sure that the desire to get married is mutual and not dictated by some external circumstances.

Dog ritual for fornication of a rival

It is much easier to beat a married man away from a rival if she commits fornication and discredits herself. In order for a man to get tired of his current family relationship and decide to break it off, they carry out the so-called bitch conspiracy.

During the period of estrus, a bitch is cut off a piece of fur, and the liquid is taken from under the tail with a piece of cloth. They light 9 candles, place a dampened cloth on the table to their right, a tuft of wool to their left, and a photo of their opponent directly in front of them. Looking at the photo, they say 7 times:

A little honey is dripped onto the photograph and rubbed over the image with the middle finger of the right hand, following the movement of the arrow. They glue wool on top and say:

They cover the photo with a cloth and say:

When the candles burn out on their own, the photograph is placed in a secret place. After the conspiracy, a ransom of 9 coins is brought to the crossroads.

For food and drink

Since ancient times, married men have been bewitched using food and drinks. However, performing such a love spell can be problematic: it is impossible from a distance, since in most cases the charmed food must be fed to the man you like.

For meat

There is a slander about fresh meat bought at the market:

The charmed meat is taken out of the house and given to any male dog.

Sugar slander

When the sun disappears below the horizon, take a bowl of sugar and say over it:

The charmed sugar remains strong for a month, it is treated to the man you like, put in tea or baked goods.

For wine

A conspiracy for the melancholy of a married man lasts a long time; to carry it out, they prepare a bottle of alcohol, a candle and two wine glasses.

They place wine and glasses in front of them, light a candle behind these attributes, and say:

After the conspiracy, you need to arrange a date with your lover and drink the charmed wine with him from the prepared glasses.

For any liquid

If a man does not drink alcohol, then another drink can be used. When the sun sets, take a glass of drink in your hands, squeeze it tightly in your palms, and say:

The conspiracy lasts for a month. During this period, when treating a man to drinks, it is necessary to add the charmed liquid to them.

Don't try to re-educate

Firstly, because this is a lost cause from the very beginning. The grave will correct the hunchback, and all that. Look at the situation from your side - would you allow yourself to be re-educated? Hardly.

People most often come to marriage as adults and fully developed individuals, and therefore it would be foolish to expect that after registering a relationship a person will suddenly change. And even more so, you shouldn’t openly declare your intentions with phrases like: “When we get married, I’ll stop you from throwing your socks all over the apartment!”

Secondly, re-education is always an unpleasant process for both you and the man. It is much better to accept each other as you are, and believe me, this causes endless gratitude to your partner and warm affection.

Read also: How to recognize a lie: ways to expose a liar

Rules for conducting rituals

For conspiracies aimed at attracting a married man to be effective, they must be carried out taking into account the following rules:

For the ritual, an odd day is chosen, which is most suitable for destructive magical actions.
The conspiracy is carried out on any men's day - Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. It is strictly forbidden to practice love spells on Sunday, as well as on a church holiday.
When starting a ritual of black magic, they remove the cross from the body, since the planned actions are offensive to the Higher Powers.
They fast for several days before and after the conspiracy.
Before the ceremony begins, the hair is unraveled, belts, watches and other accessories that block the flow of energy are removed. Wear loose clothing.
When pronouncing the words of the conspiracy, they use church names, that is, given at baptism.

Ritual with a comb

If you have a married lover’s comb with you, then it can be used for a conspiracy. Several male hairs are removed from the teeth and wrapped in a wax ball. This ball is kept with oneself as a love amulet, and the comb is returned to the man, having previously whispered into it:

The plot will remain in effect as long as the man uses the comb.

Oven and pot

For an effective conspiracy to love a married man, you must have a stove and a clay pot in the house. If there are no such attributes, then a home ritual can be carried out using an oven and ceramic dishes.

In the evening, a silver ring is immersed in a pot filled with water. At dawn, the product is taken out with the fingers of the left hand, and they say:

Place the pot in the stove, wait for the water to boil, and take it out. They place a cross on the water 3 times, read the “Our Father”, then say:

The pot is placed in the stove again, after boiling again, taken out and left to cool. The charmed water is added to a treat for the man he likes and sprinkled on his clothes.