Callousness of the soul - what is it, reasons, examples

Callousness is a psychological personality trait that consists of many factors and manifests itself as a limited ability or complete absence of an emotional response to troubles and experiences of a social nature. Mental callousness implies not only a decreased reaction to events in the lives of others, but also an inability to express one’s own experiences quite openly and in a correct form.

The callousness of the soul is largely determined by the style of parenting and the traumas and other life events suffered. Thus, boys are deliberately instilled with low emotional responsiveness, explaining this by masculinity and stereotypical views on the concept of a real man. Experienced emotional turmoil associated with relationships can reduce a person’s sensitivity due to the protective mechanisms of the psyche. Those who have often been in situations of betrayal, and relationships developed from the point of view of self-interest, may find it difficult to openly express tender aspects only because of the existing memory that in past similar conditions this led to serious mental trauma, which may not go away to this day.

Callousness in relationships is increasingly explained by the increased vulnerability of the inner world, which can only be protected by completely eliminating interaction at deep levels. The more a person shows that he is invulnerable and sufficiently indifferent, the higher the chances that they will not want to come close to him emotionally, and he himself will not give anyone the opportunity to get close in such a way as to cause injury again. In many situations, when a large amount of time passes, callousness can be replaced by an abnormal level of emotional response and hypersensitivity.

What to do?

First.
If your loved one has changed, try to talk to him about the reasons for the change. Maybe he has a serious problem that he is trying to hide in this way, pretending to be indifferent? It is only important to refrain from making claims, scandals, hysterics and other things, so start a conversation only when you realize that you are ready to hear the truth or have the strength to cope with it

Second. If you are trying to influence your partner using perceived indifference, then think about how it hurts. Are you sure that you are deliberately ready to cause pain and sometimes unbearable suffering to your loved one? There are examples when they punished for treason in this way, but ignoring it does not relieve the suffering of the one who was offended. Even if it seems to him that he is not experiencing anything. Only forgiveness will allow you to free yourself. It is not necessary to continue to be together, but it is necessary to forgive in order to release the burden, take care of yourself, and move on.

Third. If this happened to you, try to understand what is behind your insensitivity? What are you hiding from, or, on the contrary, hiding? Only by realizing the cause can you find a way to heal.

Fourth. Work on your self-esteem, especially after encountering total loneliness as a couple, and in general. You will learn recommendations on how to increase it in the article “The best methods for achieving success that will help you finally believe in yourself.”

Fifth. Be honest and sincere with yourself, you shouldn’t put on a mask and play the role of a happy person if your soul is sad, you won’t hide from melancholy, but you won’t feel joy either. It’s better to have courage and look into the eyes of those emotions that you are avoiding; only by living through them can you free yourself and “break the spell.” If you are afraid that you cannot cope alone, enlist the support of your loved ones or a qualified specialist. The main thing is to act before the swamp of apathy sinks deep.

Sixth. In the case of psychological trauma, it will take time. Learn to simply be close to the one who has suffered, and wait without reproaching or putting pressure on him.

Emotional dullness: symptoms

How to recognize emotional dullness?

The individual cannot express his feelings in words. There is a mask on the face without emotions. Due to such emotional “illiteracy”, his intellect does not develop. Since a person does not understand experience, he has absolutely no inclination towards empathy.
Sometimes he appears heartless and selfish in the eyes of others. Although in reality the individual would be happy to take part, he simply does not know how this is done.
Because of this, in such situations, he often resolves the issue with a template phrase.
of conflicts with others increases Since a person does not understand his own emotions, he does not know how to change his behavioral reactions and approach to them. The result is loneliness.
One of the most striking signs is pragmatic thinking and a total lack of interest in creativity . Creative abilities develop only in those who are capable of vividly experiencing and understanding their own emotions. Alexithymic is not aware of his feelings, so he thinks based solely on logic. At the same time, sudden emotional outbursts are not uncommon, when an individual splashes out his state on other people, without realizing why this is happening.
Problems arise with adequate reflection on what is happening .
Since an individual does not recognize emotions, he is unable to respond in a timely manner to the behavior of others and adapt to it. At the same time, self-regulation does not suffer particularly. If necessary, alexithymics can quickly change both at the external and internal levels, adapting to new conditions.
Alexithymics may not dream at all. If they dream of something in their night dreams, then, as a rule, it is ordinary gray everyday life.
They deny that problems are caused by emotional impulses . There is no such thing as intuition for them.
When talking about their own experiences, these people often use words that describe physical sensations . They are not able to distinguish between physical pain and mental anguish, joy and warmth.
The existence of such individuals becomes unbearably boring and dull due to the lack of emotions; their personal and social life is not organized .
Lacking the ability to understand the feelings of another person, an alexithymic person suspects that the partner is making up problems out of nowhere. The inability to feel guilt and remorse leads to the fact that such a person shifts responsibility onto the shoulders of others, and this, of course, does not contribute to the establishment of strong relationships.
These people are afraid of change and avoid expressing their own feelings. The very idea of allowing themselves to be more emotional causes strong resistance in them.
Most alexithymics feel lifeless, as if something is missing inside. As a result, they strive to fill this emptiness with anything.
For this reason, such people often fall into alcohol or drug addiction, because these substances color the world with different colors, filling it with vivid emotions and unusual sensations. As soon as the effect wears off, you want to take a new dose again and again. There are many behavioral addictions that allow you to experience a lot of feelings and experiences at once.

Kinds

In relationships, marriage

It occurs more often than other types and is very difficult for a partner to live with, since a once close and beloved person suddenly stops paying attention and becomes completely alien and distant - this hits the most vulnerable places. The qualities that were previously attractive seem to disappear and he turns into a completely different person.

Unfamiliar and indifferent. It’s very lonely next to him, unbearably lonely, and not everyone is able to cope with this feeling

The qualities that previously attracted him seem to disappear and he turns into a completely different person. Unfamiliar and indifferent. It is very lonely next to him, unbearably lonely, and not everyone is able to cope with this feeling.

Male

From childhood, boys are taught not to cry and to endure suffering, instilling the idea that they should be strong and able to withstand anything. This is, of course, an interesting and attractive idea about the existence of ideal men, but in this case, they need to turn into emotionless robots, which is what some try to do in order to live up to the mythical image.

At work

I am not attracted to the activities that I come to do, so much so that I have to force myself, forcing me to get ready in the morning. Unfortunately, the consequences of working without enthusiasm are either dismissal or lack of prospects for career advancement, and this all only exacerbates the negative attitude towards the chosen profession.

Towards the environment

Killings of animals, destruction of nature, political issues: they may not bother a person at all. Either because he does not want to “get involved” in a process that requires large amounts of energy and time, or because they bother him so much that he chooses to isolate himself and not notice them.

In any case, whatever the reason, such a person relieves himself of responsibility for involvement in anything in this world. For example, when buying a mink coat, he does not think about the fact that this living creature was once brutally killed, and by paying for it, he makes his contribution to this business.

Or he doesn’t go to the polls, giving other people the right to make decisions regarding the future of the country in which he lives.

To the children

Sometimes it happens that for some reason a parent becomes unable to feel love for his children, performing only functional duties. Such children are usually seriously traumatized and believe that they are not worthy of love, do not deserve it, and so on. And when they grow up, they risk becoming the same, because they don’t know how to behave differently.

Why is there not enough emotion in life?

According to psychoanalysts, alexithymia is considered emotional dullness , developing as a defensive reaction to a certain negative factor. Throughout life, a person constantly faces stressful situations.

If he is not able to overcome them, gradual addiction occurs. The absence of an emotional reaction to what is happening serves as a defense mechanism of the human psyche.

The reason for the appearance of alexithymia may be certain concepts of upbringing that the individual had to go through at a tender age.

Statements like “men shouldn’t cry”, “public display of emotions is the height of indecency” can lead to the development of the ability to suppress one’s own feelings.

The soil of many sins

All people, regardless of their religion, need to understand where good is and where evil is. As the apostle teaches: the senses must be “trained to discern between good and evil” (Heb. 5:14). We must be guided not by our momentary principles, but by the categories of eternity. Anyone who lives like this cannot be indifferent. Even small, local manifestations of grief and injustice are important and serious for us. Otherwise, it turns out like this: we all want our friends and acquaintances to be kind people, but we don’t want to be like that ourselves. We look for sin around us, but it lies on another plane: in us.

The sin of indifference is very serious. It lies at the root of so many sins. For example, it would seem: what does he have to do with gluttony, but it turns out that the glutton first became indifferent to himself, and then began to eat anything at random or without restrictions. It’s the same with the killer: at first he became indifferent to the value of another person’s life, his suffering. On the other hand, if we look at the life of this killer, it will probably turn out that he was surrounded by indifferent people. He is cold to the suffering of others, because he was indifferent to him in childhood and youth.

What can callousness and indifference lead to?

These moral and psychological characteristics of a person, in their essence, do not carry anything destructive at first glance. A callous person may not do anything wrong, but the results of indifferent behavior are amazing

How many times do we come across statements: “If only they had rushed in earlier...”, “If only they had helped me right away...”, “If only he had been given medical assistance right away...”? Indeed, if you pay attention to a person and his problem a little earlier, you can protect him from fatal mistakes, prevent personal catastrophes, and so on.

B. Yasensky once said a very good phrase on this topic. He clearly notes that enemies can kill in the worst case, friends can betray, but indifferent people are worse than everyone else. They can silently consent to murder and betrayal. You never know what to expect from them. Callousness and indifference can lead to physical and psychological injuries, loss of meaning in life, and death in extreme cases.

An indifferent person cannot be happy

First of all, I would like a person not to brush aside this problem, to delve into himself, to look deeper into his soul. We are all infected with indifference, myself included. It concerns each of us, we meet with it every day. First, we need to determine in our family: what can we do to improve the lives of our loved ones? For example, these could be good kind words with which to start their day

These are very simple things, but how important they are! We don’t have to wait for people to show us attention; we will try to give it ourselves. You may not respond to our “good morning” and “how are you” for several years, but because you do this, you will feel better

Gradually, the people around you will change.

You need to think about what you can do for your parish. We came to see everything ready in the temple, and left without thinking about who created everything that surrounds us. Is it correct? Now there is a threat that we may lose our churches. I think this is no coincidence: most people, unfortunately, do not need churches - with the exception of a small group of people who work in them.

If you don’t want indifference around you, don’t be indifferent yourself! Then you will find earthly happiness and save your soul. If you are unhappy, it means you are indifferent. An indifferent person cannot be happy. Happy is the one who sees someone else's pain and helps, who forgives insults, and sows goodness. I wish everyone to understand this - and not leave a single chance for indifference.

In Vasmer Max's dictionary

callous, callous, callous, dial. hard, Ukrainian stale “stale, strong, fresh”, Old Russian. callous “solid; dry, stale; irreproachable; clear; significant", Bulgarian chevrast, chvrast “tough, strong, dexterous, vigorous”, Serbohorvian. chvrsta, chvsta “strong, hard, full, fleshy”, Slovenian. čŕstǝv, čvrst “strong, vigorous, vigorous, fresh”, Czech, Slavic. čerstvý “fresh, cheerful”, Polish. czerstwy “fresh, vigorous, strong, callous” (from *czarstwy, probably influenced by czerstwieć; see Elk, Gr. polska I, 67), v.-luzh. čerstwy “cheerful”. Praslav. *čьrstvъ was repeatedly compared with other Indian. kr̥tsnás “full, final” and lat. crassus “thick, rough” (Brugman, Totalität 55 et seq.; Fick I, 25; Bernecker I, 171; Walde - Hofm. I, 285 et seq.; Mayrhofer 259). This rapprochement is highly unreliable due to the fact that Lat. crassus is regarded as an expressive formation (Meye - Ernou 263 et seq.), the connection of which with lat. crātis "weaving", Goth. haúrds "door", etc., is highly doubtful, contrary to Bernecker (ibid.). A more successful comparison with Goth. hardus “hard, hard”, Greek. κρατύς “strong”, κρατερός “stronger”, κράτος “strength” (I. Schmidt, Vok. 2, 33; Zupica, GG. 109; Uhlenbeck, Aind. Wb. 40; Brückner 76; Mikkola, Ursl. Gr. 3 , 27). Others compare čьrstvъ with other Spanish. herstr "sharp", lit. ker̃štas “anger” (I. Schmidt, Vok. 2, 501; Bezzenberger, KZ 22, 479). Dont clear.

What can callousness and indifference lead to?

Why is indifference dangerous?

Let's consider what dangers indifference brings. Indifference and responsiveness are opposite concepts in their meaning. If responsiveness can positively influence a person, renew hope for a solution, and give strength, then human indifference pushes us to despair and powerlessness in the face of the wall of troubles that have arisen.

Indifference, a phenomenon that destroys our society, the indifference of one will most likely affect everyone around. A child who notices indifference in the relationship between parents adopts their model of behavior and will behave the same way in similar situations. An adult who has felt the indifference of others may one day not help another, feeling resentment, experienced inattention from loved ones and society as a whole.

How often does society look past such global social problems as neglected children, assault in families, weakness and defenselessness of older people. What would happen if we found the strength to solve problems that affected not only our interests? It is likely that there would be less evil that we encounter every day absolutely everywhere.

At the moment of indifference, humanity loses the ability to empathize, the connection with morality is lost, which, in principle, defines us as individuals. These people are filled more with negativity, envy, and the inability to share not only the suffering of others, but also joy. It is also difficult for such people to show love; inside they can experience this feeling that they do not understand, but outwardly they can push away their loved one or even offend them. And this all turns into an unbreakable circle. A person who does not know how to show love is unlikely to evoke a feeling of love in others, this, in turn, will have an even greater impact on his life and will lead to loneliness, because it will be very difficult to maintain even ordinary communication with such a person, let alone to create a strong family.

Please note that you don’t need to take other people’s problems too closely into your heart. This is the cause of depression, sadness, and emotional instability. Sympathy is wonderful, but even in this feeling there should be boundaries; you shouldn’t live with other people’s problems. Showing participation and support is very simple, often these are ordinary things: helping a young mother with a stroller, telling a grandmother with poor eyesight the bus number, helping a lost child find his parents, or helping a person who feels unwell.

We often rush, not paying attention to what is happening around us, although sometimes just a minute of our time can cost a person his life. The famous writer Bruno Yasensky wrote in his novel “The Conspiracy of the Indifferent”: “Do not be afraid of your friends - in the worst case, they may betray you, do not be afraid of your enemies - in the worst case, they will try to kill you, but beware of the indifferent - only with their silent blessing betrayals and murders are happening on Earth.”

Positive emotions make our lives bright and full; try to notice more good things around you, show more compassion and help, and respond to people with kindness.

Each new generation is obliged to develop through the accumulation of social experience. The interaction of an individual with the social environment is a process of demands and expectations on both sides. A person is guided by skills acquired through direct relationships in social groups. Therefore, by freeing ourselves from the burden of grievances and accumulated claims against others, we will free ourselves from such qualities as indifference, indifference and callousness. Give goodness to the world, and the world will definitely give it back to you threefold!

Our society is very different from what it was a century ago. Even if we go back fifty years, people will be significantly different from our contemporaries. What's the difference? Why soulfulness, simplicity, sincerity, and in return came such concepts as human callousness, indifference, indifference? Many have forgotten about humanity, exchanging it for some kind of calculation in life, for example financial or selfish. Let's try to figure out what many understand by the word “callousness”.

What it is

Trying to understand what callousness is, many begin to confuse this concept with cruelty, arrogance, indifference and many other manifestations of the human personality. The problem is that many negative qualities, based on the manifestation of indifference and lack of involvement in the problems of others, remain incomprehensible to those who have normal sensitivity.

It is important to understand that callousness is the opposite of spiritual openness, although it is not synonymous with it. If in a state of anger a person sees only his own needs, then he still continues to contact and react vividly to others; with social isolation there is a strong desire to avoid others; in callousness there is neither one nor the other

When people's callousness becomes total, society faces extinction, since no one is able to care for others. The question of spiritual openness remains the same, because such callousness not only cannot understand how you can let someone else in or share your innermost things with them, but also in the manifestation of other people it causes surprise on the verge of misunderstanding.

The dependence of the degree of development of such an attitude towards the world has several trends, for example, men have more callousness than women. This is inherent in nature and is necessary for the survival of the species - excessive sensitivity on the battlefield or during a hunt can cost the life of a male and his family, but if callousness is the leading trait of a woman, then the offspring risks not surviving to independent age

The harsher the living conditions, the higher the likelihood of a person turning into a callous and practically insensitive individual, and it does not matter what the severity of the conditions is - in social interaction, strenuous activity or a real threat to life. But modern society promotes openness, tolerance and evaluates such mental manifestations as negative, forgetting that any changes in the psyche are necessary for adaptation and implementation of the task of not only survival as a physical body, but also as a spiritual being

The problem of callousness

The main problem with callousness is that humanity evaluates it by double standards. Remember, when someone barges in on you at an inconvenient time and demands help, it seems that the one who demands participation is far from sensitive and understanding; it is he who is perceived as violating boundaries, not respecting the other’s time and behaving in an inappropriate, insensitive manner. Moreover, when a person himself finds himself in such a situation, a friend who refuses support and chooses his own affairs will seem callous to him.

In matters of interaction between men and women, callousness becomes a stumbling block, and the main complaints come from the ladies. This is a rather dishonest demand, since they need openness and sensitivity exclusively in personal interactions, and in specific situations that only she understands. No one takes into account that if a person is open, then he will be like that to everything, and if he cannot show rigor or indifference, some calmness and resistance to what is happening, then this will be the case not only when problems concern the girl’s mental well-being, but also in any critical situations.

Indifference to its highest degree is callousness, which is why it is perceived as a social problem that requires a solution. It becomes unsafe to live in a society where doctors do not respond to patient complaints, drivers do not monitor safety, people passing by may push or fail to provide first aid in case of a heart attack.

These are not crimes thought out for profit, committed consciously, these are not the actions of antisocial elements - this is a personality trait that is impossible to break through. There is no repentance, and therefore no attempts to change the situation, there are not even attempts to understand the other, which means dialogue and constructive communication are impossible.

This is now becoming such a common occurrence that it requires the study and development of prevention methods. So far we only know that any cruelty, callousness and indifference arise at the site of high sensitivity, when it becomes painful. Under-embraced people with tactile hunger close themselves off from the world due to the enormous need for warmth and the inability to receive it.

Those who encounter betrayal stop opening their arms and become increasingly convinced of the injustice of the world. Those who were not in close proximity and were raised by emotionally cold parents have no idea how to live differently, and do not look for other ways. Everyone can solve the problem of petrification of their own soul individually with the help of psychotherapy or, trying to trust people, look at their problems through their own prism or directly ask those who live differently how to achieve the same.

What is indifference

When considering the phenomenon of indifference, one must take into account that the individual’s choice is completely conscious, it is a complete avoidance of taking part in any actions that do not concern him. This is either a refusal to help, or an inability to show support and compassion at a time of extreme need to help people. First of all, this behavior is motivated by fear of obligations. The result of invading the life of strangers may be undesirable reactions, and the kindness shown by you sincerely and unselfishly may turn against you. But there are always risks; when making any decision, we are responsible for the future consequences. So is it worth rejecting people who need us?

Experiencing the indifference shown by others towards us, we feel upset and stop believing in humanity; it is not easy to trust again, what to say about providing help to others when we ourselves did not receive it on time. By refusing help and remaining indifferent, we risk experiencing a feeling of guilt over time, which will leave a detrimental imprint on our lives. Why carry the weight of guilt with you? When there is an opportunity to do good and live with the belief that everything possible has been accomplished.

However, indifference and apathy can occur in absolutely everyone, regardless of character and values. The reason for this behavior is sometimes simple boredom. Boredom can cause a sluggish depressive state; when experiencing it, the individual does not have the required amount of internal resources to assist in the problems of others

A task that you do separately from work or study will help you overcome boredom; finding a task that has become an outlet and will begin to fill you with positive energy and strength is very important. This is due to age, so you can look for an activity that will bring happiness at any period of your life, as well as change it in the future

Human behavior as a social being is strictly regulated by a certain number of hereditary factors. The interaction of a subject with society is a reflection of its characteristics.

To raise a caring person, parents should talk with their child about the manifestation of indifference in life, give examples, discuss various situations and discuss how they can show compassion, provide mutual assistance and understanding. Observe the manifestation of indifference in your child, perhaps by analyzing his interests and hobbies. If there are none, it is advisable to start looking for a favorite activity together, because responsiveness to people is possible when a person develops harmoniously in all areas.

Reasons for indifference

Where does indifference come from, what exactly caused its development in people? There are factors after which a subject decides to be deaf and blind regarding certain situations. Let's look at some of the reasons. A prolonged feeling of stress and anxiety makes a person emotionally exhausted and incapable of additional experiences. Such individuals are characterized by apathy and passivity.

The next reason for indifference is getting stuck on your own problems, an unshakable belief that there is simply nothing going on with those around you that is worth paying attention to. All other people's problems are leveled out and devalued, and the person himself is prone to a constant position of victim and expects pity and support only for himself. Most often, indifferent people do not see themselves as such; even more, many of them are absolutely sure that they are soft and sympathetic.

Also, a large number of misfortunes experienced can make any person more rigid and detached from the troubles of others. Although it would seem, on the contrary, that those who have experienced such a situation are best able to show responsiveness, unfortunately this is not always the case.

Our psyche tends to protect us from repeating traumatic situations that once happened, so a person seems to distance himself from everything that reminds him of what he experienced. But this happens while the person is consciously sure that he is absolutely not interested in delving into other people’s affairs. And sometimes, circumstances arise in which a person who has not had such sad situations is simply not able to empathize with the grief of others. But a similar reaction is most often characteristic of teenagers, when childhood naivety and all-encompassing love have passed, and life experience is not yet enough to adequately assess the current situation.

In addition to the global reasons described, there are situational reasons when a person was simply confused and could not provide help immediately, felt unwell and did not react properly. Do not rush to condemn others in anything, do not bear the burden of grievances, learn to forgive and give others the opportunity to improve.

How to get rid of indifference and callousness?

We must realize what callousness and indifference are. This is blocking various emotions. The development of these qualities may begin in early childhood. There are many reasons for their development, but how to get rid of them?

It is important to stop being offended by anyone or anything. You need to train yourself to let go of everything: both bad and good.

Resentment entails a bundle of unspoken words and emotions. You need to express your emotions in a socially acceptable way. This is not shouting or destruction, but a search for constructive ways to solve problem situations. It is important to recognize and develop good qualities in yourself. We cannot be entirely positive, nor can we be entirely negative. Therefore, you need to develop positive qualities and get rid of negative ones.

By training in empathy, an emotional attitude towards others, and developing the positive around you, you will stop feeling indifference, emptiness and callousness.

What is callousness?

This concept is studied primarily in psychology. Here it is defined as one that was formed on the basis of the loss of empathy, sympathy, and being emotionally sensitive to the problems and grief of other people or any other living being. Those who have had to deal with callous people know firsthand what callousness is. Unfortunately, there are more and more people like this in our society. We can encounter people's callous attitude towards us on the street, in a store, in a hospital, at work, and so on. What do experts understand by callousness and what other qualities is it supplemented with?

Theses

Heartlessness manifests itself even towards very close people
The thirst for profit often leads to heartlessness and dishonorable acts.
A person’s spiritual callousness complicates his life in society
The reasons for a heartless attitude towards others lie in upbringing
The problem of heartlessness and mental callousness can be characteristic not only of an individual, but also of society as a whole.
Difficult life circumstances can make a person heartless
Often, spiritual callousness manifests itself in relation to moral, worthy people
A person admits that he was heartless when nothing can be changed
Mental callousness does not make a person truly happy
The consequences of a callous attitude towards people are often irreversible

Basic synonyms of callousness

What callousness is can be understood by the set of moral and psychological characteristics that complement it in relation to people. This word can safely be supplemented with such human characteristics as indifference, indifference, and rudeness. Sometimes callousness can lead to selfishness and hatred. Callousness is a lack of love for someone.

Once a sage was asked the question: “How do you understand the word “callousness”?” To which he replied that callousness equals indifference. Other negative qualities express their attitude towards a person, even if it is negative, but indifference does not express anything; it reduces the relationship to zero, destroying all the good beginnings of relationships between people. It is human nature to need recognition and love. Without experiencing a feeling of need or even uselessness, he dies morally and is internally destroyed. It is callousness and indifference that can kill love. No negative qualities can compare with an indifferent attitude. Anger, hatred, disgust can upset, but they do not deny the existence of a person, an individual. And callousness and indifference figuratively turn him into an empty place. They leave nothing behind.

Indifference in conflicts and controversial situations

All couples have disagreements and conflicts from time to time. The only difference is in the ways of resolving them: some build a constructive dialogue, while others find it easier to express accumulated complaints based on emotions. And only a callous man “puts on thick skin.”

Photo: Pixabay

He doesn’t need heart-to-heart conversations or debriefings with screams and lamentations. For what? Everything suits him. And if not, then he will act, guided by his own concepts and without telling his partner about it.

A long-standing affliction of humanity

Let us remember the Holy Scripture, which speaks of the suffering of the Savior. They tortured him for a day, then led him through the entire city and nailed him to a cross. What were the majority of people doing at this time? They, according to the apostle, stood and watched. The murder of the God-Man occurred at the will of thousands of indifferent people. Those invested with power, like Pilate, simple performers, like soldiers, and all those who stood and did nothing. But among them were those who ate the food that the Lord distributed to them, and those whose relatives He healed. As a result, they remained indifferent. Therefore, behind every brutal crime there is indifference - paralysis of the soul, as Chekhov called it. In our time, the time of the spread of this sin, believers should under no circumstances be indifferent.

Dante in The Divine Comedy depicts the fate of the indifferent as follows:

This is the sad lot of those pitiful souls that lived, not knowing neither the glory nor the shame of mortal affairs. And with them a bad flock of angels, That, not rebelling, were not faithful to the Most High, observing the middle. Heaven overthrew them, not tolerating the stain; And the abyss of their Hell does not accept, Otherwise guilt would become proud.

These lines are an example of the fact that indifference is a sin inherent in humanity throughout the history of its existence. Lermontov wrote about the same thing in his poem “Duma”:

We are shamefully indifferent to good and evil, At the beginning of the field we wither without a fight; Before danger we are shamefully cowardly, And before power we are despicable slaves.

Soullessness lies at the basis of all great troubles and misfortunes. We can't be like that. The saints entered the Kingdom of Heaven because they were not indifferent to the evil that they saw around them, to moral vices. This was, for example, John the Baptist: there were many worthy people next to him, but no one told Herod the truth, did not dare to expose him.

Causes

Depression

As you know, this is a disease, and it may well deprive a person of not only interest in everything that happens, but also the desire to live

Therefore, it is important to be careful, if a loved one suddenly “fades away”, you should not throw tantrums, scandals, or give arguments and facts of his indifference and callousness

This will only aggravate the situation and can lead to the worst consequences - provoking suicide, as an attempt to finally get rid of suffering. You can learn more about this from the article “How to find a way out of depression yourself: the most effective methods.”

Punishment or manipulation

Yes, in relationships they sometimes resort to similar measures, ceasing to pay attention and give love even for the slightest offenses, wanting to “motivate” to obey and do only as the manipulator wants. Something like carrots and sticks, they either shower you with gifts and compliments, or suddenly become indifferent, ignoring your presence until you realize your mistake and correct yourself.

Something like carrots and sticks, they either shower you with gifts and compliments, or suddenly become indifferent, ignoring your presence until you realize your mistake and correct yourself.

Such traps are usually set by perverse narcissists or psychopathic personalities. By the way, this is also the behavior of a banal egoist, an egocentric person who believes that the whole world revolves only around him, and for him.

Illusions

When a person is hurt, he sometimes has a great desire to be insensitive, so as not to experience disappointment, bitterness, total sadness, and so on. That’s why they become indifferent, people have the illusion that it’s easier to live this way.

For example, it seems that without thinking about where and with whom a loved one spends time, he will be calm and happy. But, in fact, by blocking negative emotions, a person deprives himself of pleasant, positive ones. Indifference can easily kill love; gradual distance and lack of emotions can defeat even the strongest feelings; they will simply fade away until they disappear completely.

Alexithymia

This is a disorder in which a person is not able to feel and track his emotions, he simply does not understand what is happening to him, since he can only think logically, without resorting to sensations and intuition.

Professional burnout

When a person overextends himself at work, he does not have the opportunity to replenish his energy reserves and rest, which over time leads to exhaustion. He simply does not have the resources to feel interest, joy and other feelings.

Psychological trauma

Something may happen that will cause unbearable feelings that a person is simply not able to cope with at a given period, and in order to preserve the psyche, the body, as it were, “turns off” the emotional sphere, freezes it.

Alcohol or drug abuse

Over time, due to any of these types of addictions, the structure of the brain is destroyed, which affects the psyche and emotional sphere. By the way, an excessive amount of medications also leaves its mark on the ability to feel.

Mental disorders

Because of them, a person becomes detached and unable to experience any emotions or sensations, plunging deeply into his own inner world and fantasies.

Personality structure

He was born like this, callous, unable to empathize and generally worry, plus his parents were the same, which is why they didn’t teach him to care, be interested in something, be attentive, etc.

An emotionless person, why is he like this?

An unemotional or low-emotional person, why is he like this?

Some consider alexithymia to be a disease, others believe that it is a personality trait . Alexithymia is conventionally divided into primary and secondary.

Primary is caused by congenital defects that occur during the development of the fetus, the birth of a child, and the passage of the first childhood diseases.

Secondary is due to reasons that can manifest themselves at a more conscious age:

traumatic experiences
stressful situations,
mental disorders.

Some experts see the causes of this disease in aspects related to public culture .

A person is not educated, he lacks a social culture, an elementary education in which he could study himself, his emotions and ways of expressing them.

Examples of heartlessness

Both literature and cinema, as well as the everyday life of every person, are full of examples of heartlessness. This is due to the fact that those who remain sensitive are extremely outraged and surprised by such a reaction of another person and the ability to interact with the world in this way

All fictitious examples are intended to somehow draw attention to where callousness usually originates, so as not to fight its consequences, but to nip the development of such situations in the bud. These are also attempts to reach those who still have some drops of sensitivity left in them, so that they see the possible negative consequences

For everyone else, it is best to familiarize yourself with the concept of heartlessness using the examples given below in order to recognize this trait in yourself or your loved ones in time.

Heartlessness always manifests itself where help or sympathy is required. For example, if one of the children was asked to care for an animal, but it is boring or difficult for him and he stops feeding the pet, this is not about inattention and age, but about a lack of concern. Finding your own benefit can be in absurd things - not giving up your seat on a transport to an elderly person in order to put your bag and not holding it in your hands, not waiting for a colleague from work, picking up the last car, because you wanted to drink tea.

There is a lack of cordiality in the black humor and sarcasm. When doctors, due to their specialization, are no longer sensitive to death and strong feelings about the health of other people, they can say phrases that plunge patients into a state of quiet horror and numbness. It cannot be said that this is being done on purpose or that the person was striving for this, because those who most empathize with those around them go to treatment, only then burn out in the process.

Mothers who hit their children to stop them crying in the street and disturbing people passing by are also examples of heartlessness, since they choose to maintain their selfish interests (preserving the image of a cultured and nurturing woman who fits into social norms) rather than responding to the needs of the child.

This quality of character does not necessarily have to manifest itself at the level of personal interaction between people who are familiar and significant to each other, it’s just there that it hurts the most. On the street they may push you and say that it is their own fault, they may ignore a request for directions or to find a pharmacy - these are small manifestations that concern everyone.

Absolute cordiality is helping all those who ask and need, even when they are silent, it is worrying about the fate of the people of the world, located a meter away and on another continent. It is impossible to withstand such stress, no heart can contain so much pain, so protection in the form of heartlessness, indifference, callousness is triggered, helping an individual to survive. The main problem is how strongly this or that polarity is manifested and how relevant it is to the situation.

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