Kindness is the main value of any society, so people endowed with this quality always evoke respect and gratitude. Everyone has wondered at least once in their life what it means to be a kind person. After all, this is a selfless feeling of compassion for others, which, alas, not every person possesses. Sometimes nobility manifests itself in the form of sacrifice, the inability to say a firm “no”, thereby dooming yourself to doing things that will not bring any pleasure, but will please others. Some interlocutors notice this and feel sorry for you, but many, on the contrary, deliberately take advantage of your location.
But there is another category of people who try in every way to please in order to increase their level of significance and assert themselves. However, such a noble quality must be selfless, sincere and strive at any cost to help another in need of support.
A kind and noble person: who is he?
Kindness is a component of morality, which means a sincere desire to do good deeds. They manifest themselves in saving a friend, an animal, or in performing a generous act for the whole society. Nobility always evokes a positive assessment from the public, as these qualities make you feel joy, happiness and lift your spirits.
A kind person is a person who lends a helping hand to other living beings. Such interaction is mutual, since one, through his responsiveness, increased his self-esteem and importance, and the other received a solution to the problem.
Signs of kindness:
- Surprise. In difficult times, someone may suddenly help you out, be it a close relative, girlfriend/boyfriend or colleague.
- Unselfishness. All actions are performed from the heart and without receiving anything in return.
- Sincerity. When carrying out a good deed, a person acts in accordance with his spiritual values and moral standards.
- Collectivity. It manifests itself when not just one individual strives to accomplish good, but a whole group uniting all its efforts. An example is charities. Their activities are aimed at helping sick children and adults, the elderly, as well as homeless animals.
- Demonstrativeness. Ostentatious actions are performed so that others have a positive impression of you. At first glance, such actions look disinterested, and this makes it difficult to unravel the real motive. People may deliberately demonstrate good behavior and their responsiveness to others in order to get into the right circle and gain trust.
Be optimistic
Kindness consists of happiness, joy and gratitude. Blogger Anastacia Kay reminds us how important it is to learn to see the good in people, to believe in humanity and that any difficulties, despair and cruelty can be overcome. In addition, a positive attitude and sense of humor help to calmly accept life's contradictions and difficult moments.
Maintaining optimism can be difficult; looking for the good around you will help:
- Pay attention to positive news and limit your consumption of negative content.
- Learn to enjoy the successes of others.
- Read inspiring books and watch movies about happy people.
A kind and generous soul: what kind of man is this?
The question immediately arises: are there still such things left in our time? Of course, there are many of them, because each is noble in his own way. Some may show good intentions only towards their loved ones, others towards the whole society, others feel sorry for animals and try to shelter them. The kindest person is characterized as a benefactor who helps in difficult times and does not demand anything in return. It is important for him to see enthusiastic eyes and a sincere smile - this is worth doing. They make you stronger, more spiritual and energetic.
Be lenient
Psychotherapist Andrei Kurpatov reminds us that showing kindness, especially to ourselves, is often hampered by perfectionism, competition, eternal haste and a fast pace of life. If you are afraid of appearing lazy and selfish, you can easily become rigid and forget the importance of kindness. For this reason, it is important to forgive yourself and others.
If you have made a mistake, do not worry and compare yourself with others. Show compassion for yourself and do the same for others. People do most of the things we are unhappy with unintentionally and will act differently if asked to do so.
Description of the qualities of a kind and sympathetic person
Virtue is characterized by many traits that manifest themselves in a person:
- Tolerance is tolerance and respect for any position in life without imposing one’s stereotypes.
- Loyalty is a stable state of affairs (relationships, goals) and attachment to them, without considering other options.
- Patience is a calm anticipation of significant events, meetings, purchases, or unyielding endurance of unpleasant moments (loss, pain, failure, separation, financial difficulties).
- Kindness is a demonstration of respect for others and a friendly attitude towards them.
- Politeness – having good manners when communicating, displaying good manners and education, skills of respectful communication with people.
- Generosity is mercy and condescension towards others, indifference to human shortcomings, sacrificing one’s interests for the sake of fulfilling public duty.
- Compassion is the ability to empathize with individuals who are experiencing difficulties in life, to put oneself in their place and share their pain.
- Responsiveness – the ability to quickly provide a service.
- Selflessness is a renunciation of profit and personal gain; a good action performed will not be followed by a service in return.
- Honesty is frankness and openness in communication, deeds and actions.
- Cheerfulness is a positive attitude towards everything – both small things and difficult situations.
- Willpower is a psychological state that helps you control your actions to achieve any goals.
- Reasonableness is the ability to select the right solution to a problem.
- Wisdom is the ability to use your life experience and acquired knowledge in real life.
- Justice is objective and equal treatment of everyone.
Be friendly
Candidate of Psychological Sciences I. G. Doroshina writes that kind people are friendly. They sincerely expect good things from others and know how to win people over. For this it is important:
- To be polite. Politeness is not a sign of kindness, but sincerely expressing this character trait demonstrates respect for the person you are communicating with. This is a great way to grab a person's attention and be heard.
- Monitor your style and manner of communication. Analyze how you behave in certain situations, remember those people with whom you enjoy communicating. Try to become the same easy and pleasant person to communicate with.
- Behave with dignity. Do not be familiar with new acquaintances, but do not ingratiate yourself either.
- Give sincere compliments.
- Smile more and don’t be shy to share positive emotions with the world.
A shy person will have to completely change and become an extrovert, but such simple rules will significantly improve the quality of communication and help you become not only kinder, but also more confident.
Varieties of Virtue
This feeling is divided into many types, it manifests itself differently in each individual. One is so generous that he will not offend even a small insect, others take advantage of kindness and do not offer anything in return. There are also individuals who will not lend a helping hand until they are asked to do so. Kindness to people is shown:
- In actions. It is expressed when a person does a good deed, even if he was not approached with a request, but was very much in need.
- In affection and support. The person who supports everyone and gives wise advice is always the center of attention. Since each of us sometimes needs useful advice that will help solve all difficulties. If you find yourself in a difficult life situation, you are surrounded by nothing but troubles and failures, you are constantly in a bad mood, sign up for my consultation, and together we will find the root of the problem.
- In selflessness. Expressed in the refusal of mutual benefit. When doing a feat, do not ask for anything in return.
- For self-interest. This guy isn't that bad. For example, one asked another to provide a favor, promising to thank him later. This is a manifestation of a mutually beneficial relationship, from which both parties receive satisfaction at once. This is the most common type at present, as it occurs in almost all areas: educational, educational, medical.
What does true kindness look like?
Kindness manifests itself in actions. In a kind person, this character trait is reflected in all areas of life. A person's true goodness is judged by such things as:
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- acceptance of one’s own individual personal characteristics
- respectful attitude towards others, manifested in tolerance;
- a person’s lack of desire to re-educate and remake those around him;
- altruistic attitude towards loved ones and colleagues;
- ability to build constructive interpersonal relationships with colleagues;
- generosity, willingness to share what a person has with others;
- lack of envy.
Is it necessary to have this quality?
Sometimes kindness causes ridicule from others. A kind person is one who strives to provide services to society at any cost, and one whom I sometimes consider weak, a fool who does not know how to say “no.” Now the main value is profit, and success is assessed depending on the financial component and material benefits. The consequences of this are that society is dominated by more individuals with low levels of moral character.
If an individual puts real values first - a job he loves, a large strong family, loyal and sympathetic friends, for him nobility is a necessary quality. It makes it possible to surround yourself with sincere people and achieve inner balance. Neither financial resources nor material wealth will lead a selfish and evil egoist to harmony, joy, and most importantly, happiness.
Being generous and noble does not mean showing weakness and forgiveness. For any injustice, cruelty or insult, everyone must stand up for themselves, otherwise others will take advantage of your boundless generosity, which will negatively affect your health and psyche. Self-esteem must complement kindness, protecting it from negativity.
Useful practical materials for those who want to become kinder
So, let's move on to a selection of useful materials. I want to start with one rather expensive thing. Two days ago my ninth reader purchased it. I did not receive a single negative review about this device, there was not a person for whom it would not suit.
The name of the device is neural interface. It is needed to analyze the electromagnetic oscillations of your brain. Scientists have long established that electromagnetic oscillations will differ in different emotional states. One type of hesitation is when you are relaxed and calm, another is when you are angry, angry at someone, the third is when you are scared.
The neural interface is expensive – 11,990 rubles. But in my opinion, this thing is better than most courses or books that you will purchase in search of answers to your questions. The device will help you look inside yourself, and the Vikium platform, after analyzing the work of your head, will select personalized recommendations for you.
You can purchase the device separately, or you can purchase it together with a personal development course. I'll recommend a few of the best below.
Brain fitness
Description. This program is sold only complete with a neural interface; there is no point in mastering it separately. It does not focus solely on kindness, but develops qualities that collectively help a person become more kind.
When you complete the training, you will learn to easily control your emotions, not to get irritated, and not to let anger take over you. In addition, you will improve your thinking abilities, learn to easily concentrate on the tasks at hand, develop your imagination, etc.
You will constantly use the neural interface during the learning process. Moreover, I recommend doing this when you are in different emotional states. Turn on the device when you return home from work, then in the morning, on a day off, and so on. Watch yourself.
Authors: developers of the Vikium project.
Cost: 12,990 rub.
Find out more and start learning
Brain Detoxification
Description. Brain detoxification will help you figure out what exactly makes you an evil person and prevents you from becoming a good person. You will understand why you always “shrink”, cannot relax with the people around you, or take a step towards them.
The teacher will tell you how to remove all negativity from your head. If now you think that the world is cruel, dangerous, that others cannot treat you with kindness and therefore you respond to them in kind, after “detoxification” the situation will change dramatically.
A neural interface is not required for this training program. You will find here a huge number of practical exercises, simulators, techniques and various other useful things that you can use in a variety of life circumstances.
Authors: developers of the Vikium project.
Cost: 990 rub.
Find out more and start learning
Emotional intellect
Description. This course will teach you to understand emotions much better and not give in to them if you don't want to. You will learn why some people always seem kind to us, while others seem evil and rude, and you will see the subconscious reasons for your reaction to the actions of others.
The training program will not only teach you not to be irritated, but will also help you develop many other valuable qualities. In particular, you will learn how to conduct a dialogue correctly and understand the microexpressions of the faces of others, how to recognize deception and lies when communicating with a person of any age, how to interact with people of different psychotypes.
Author: Oleg Kalinichev
Cost: 990 rub.
Find out more and start learning
For now, these are all the courses I can recommend to you. If you know other high-quality programs, write about them in the comments, I will supplement the article.
How to become kinder
When a baby is born, his aura is pure and innocent, he feels love for literally everyone who is around him. It depends on the subsequent upbringing of the parents whether he will be friendly or aggressive.
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Gradually, the baby grows up, character begins to develop, and at the stage of improving individual traits, a quality such as kindness, or the lack thereof, appears. The misconception of people is that they consider character to be an unchangeable component. But it is not so. Only temperament cannot be changed, since we have it from birth. Character can be changed, but sometimes it is necessary. You should not judge an individual who does not show noble deeds; there are various reasons for this. He probably doesn’t know what he needs to do to help himself become simpler.
The main thing that needs to be done is to understand yourself, sort out all your thoughts and find out what reason contributes to anger, aggressiveness and envy. This procedure is not easy to carry out, it will take a long time, and sometimes the best option is a visit to a psychologist.
Situations that give rise to anger:
- constant lack of financial resources;
- spouse with alcohol addiction;
- naughty and difficult child;
- serious illnesses;
- envious feeling towards other people.
After you understand yourself, feel free to solve all problems: if you don’t have enough money, find another job; drinking husband/wife - file for divorce; the child does not obey - spend more time together, and most importantly, talk, try to understand each other and find compromises; If your health fails, make an appointment with a specialist. Once you deal with your difficulties, envy will immediately disappear.
Learn to listen
Listening is a very valuable skill. During any conversation, try to immerse yourself in it, listen to the person with all your heart, do not interrupt or rush. Self-help author Brian Tracy says this will help you become a good communicator.
The most important act of kindness is listening to others. Empathize with people, even if you can't help them. Often a person needs to have a heart-to-heart talk with him.
Good deeds
There are a lot of sympathetic and caring people in the world who perform exceptionally kind actions. For this they will always be remembered with a smile and thanked with all their hearts. Because of the existence of such individuals, hundreds of thousands of children have become healthy, millions of people have been saved from accidents, the homeless have a home, those in need are supported, animals are given a cozy, warm corner and a loving owner. Good deeds have no end, they cannot be counted, as they happen every second and moment.
Do charity work
One way to show kindness is to donate unwanted personal items to a charity or help those in financial need. Clothes, books, household items - someone will definitely need something that someone else has long ceased to need. Feel free to give things to those who need them more.
Every person wants to live in a good world, surrounded by good people. To achieve this, it is enough to start with yourself and try to give the world and others more positive emotions, care, compassion, acceptance and gratitude. The world will certainly respond in kind.
Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/self-realization/1586792-kak-stat-dobree-spokoynee/