Continuing the series of articles on personality typologies according to Nancy McWilliams, let's look at narcissistic personalities. The article was written based on materials from the publication “Psychoanalytic Diagnostics”. Let's consider the main characteristics of this personality type, how it is formed, and by what signs it can be distinguished from others.
Clients who use the services of psychologists say that the more information they have about themselves, the easier it is to work in the chair with a psychologist.
Characteristics of the narcissistic personality type
These are people whose lives are organized around self-esteem through validation from other people. With this behavior they pursue the goal of feeling satisfied with their own personality. For such people, approval from significant others is very important. This affects their self-esteem. For narcissists, this is one of the leading tasks, and the person is absorbed exclusively in himself. But it is important to note that excessive self-concern is different from normal sensitivity to approval or criticism from other people.
For example, you may simply be uncomfortable with someone saying unpleasant things to you. And narcissists will “savor” it, remember it for a long time and be offended.
Prevention
The narcissistic personality type is an extremely interesting topic for many specialists. During the study of this behavioral feature, doctors were able to draw up an approximate picture of the development of the defect. To prevent such a pathology, you need to avoid factors that can make a person more selfish. First of all, this concerns childhood. Parents must provide a harmonious upbringing for their child. The child must understand that he is loved, but at the same time they are expected to respond in kind. This means that you cannot always indulge your beloved child. Sometimes you need to say no.
You need to maintain a balance. Of course, the baby must learn self-respect and the ability to defend his point of view. However, he must take part in the discussion on an equal basis with the other interlocutor. This means that he must respect not only his parents, but also his peers. By instilling the right values in your child, you can develop a strong but decent personality. If parents do not know how to behave correctly, they should contact a specialist. He will tell you which model of behavior will be best for raising a particular child. In some situations, the parents themselves will need to undergo several appointments with a psychologist.
Classics of psychology about narcissists
Sigmund Freud borrowed the term "narcissus" from the Greek myth of a young man who fell in love with his own reflection in water. Adler wrote about problems that can be attributed to narcissism.
First of all, the authors note that these people have problems with self-esteem. There is a high level of concern about how they are perceived by others. Feeling that they are deceived by others and not loved.
It is also important to note that narcissists are characterized by a violation of the concept of basic security and identity, there are often difficulties with self-esteem, separation from parental and other figures, and there is a deficit.
It is common for narcissists to periodically experience feelings of shame. For example, they may feel less than perfect, worse than someone they know.
Compensation for early disappointments in relationships is manifested in the fact that, as adults, narcissists are especially critical in assessing their partner in the relationship and themselves.
Many psychologists note that integrity and self-worth are problematic for narcissists. A lot of conditions are necessary for them to feel happy and loved. For example, in pursuit of the latest model car, they may spend a lot of money, due to the fact that narcissists are concerned with their own prestige.
How to treat narcissistic personality disorder:
- Behavioral and cognitive psychotherapy.
- Group classes with relatives.
- Drug therapy.
The problem is aggravated if, against the background of a pre-existing disease, symptoms of prolonged depression, phobias and panic attacks appear. In this case, we should talk not only about psychotherapy, but also about supporting the body with medications that are prescribed after the examination.
Quite often, patients are prescribed alimemazine antipsychotics. The latter have a multifaceted effect on the patient’s body. The main properties of the drug include a mild sedative effect, which is accompanied by a decrease in the reaction to external stimuli. Alimemazine antipsychotics reduce feelings of fear, panic, suppress signs of aggression, and even hallucinations.
It is important to note that after a course of taking modern antipsychotics, patients do not become addicted. They have a very gentle effect on the human body, causing virtually no side effects.
Taking antidepressants, antipsychotics, and herbal medicine can alleviate the narcissist’s condition, but it should be understood that an important part of the effectiveness of treatment directly depends on sessions with a psychologist and the supervision of a psychiatrist.
To move narcissism “from its place”, only one thing is necessary - a person’s desire to admit that he needs the help of a specialist. At the Salvation clinic, all services are provided on an anonymous basis. This means that after treatment, the patient’s reputation will remain “clean”.
Experts are sure that NPD begins in childhood. Narcissism is inherent in every child in a healthy, refined form. Correcting narcissism is not always treatable. In some cases, it may take more than one month to restore normal behavior.
Psychologists and psychiatrists advise engaging in preventive work from an early age. Under no circumstances should a child suffer from a lack of love and attention, but you should not allow your child to manipulate you.
Preventive work to eliminate manifestations of NPD is primarily aimed at developing empathy, as well as the formation of high and “healthy” self-esteem. Preventive work can be carried out in the form of a game, starting from 3 years.
"God Complex"
The world is changing quickly, the media broadcasts a very high speed of life, and internal norms are blurring. Sociologists and psychologists have noted that in times of rapid change, sincerity and honesty are less valued.
Narcissists have a rigid Superego. These people are “subjectively empty.” They worry because they don't fit into the general circle. Image replaces essence. For example, regardless of personal preferences, narcissists will form for others, and primarily for themselves, a brilliant, glossy picture of their life according to the canons that currently exist in certain social circles. At the same time, deep down, they may not share these positions.
Some psychologists have written about the “God complex” of narcissists. The authors described fantasies about omnipotence, attempts to judge others, and permissiveness was noted.
A narcissist can be a self-confident and arrogant person. When it comes to strategies used when interacting with other people, the narcissist anticipates an attack from other people by attacking them.
Narcissistic personalities are characterized by problems of identity and self-esteem. These may be requests for working with a psychologist.
Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
According to the observations of psychiatrists and psychologists, NPD occurs equally often in representatives of the stronger and weaker sex at the age of 16-40 years. Often, parents confuse narcissism with an inflated opinion of their talents.
Nowadays, many people suffer from narcissism to one degree or another. As noted above, social media is to blame. Narcissism can also develop against the background of mental trauma received at a young age and mental disorders.
It is already known for sure that narcissism is a disease that can be characterized by exceptional narcissism and uniqueness. In this regard, the patient expects special treatment, because according to his own convictions he is superior to those around him.
Signs of narcissism:
- Creating a “fake picture”. The narcissist creates a picture of another person in his head, both externally and internally. A person tries to look smarter, more developed and more beautiful compared to others. On social networks, the narcissist posts only the best photos. Moreover, he does not edit or process images, considering himself a person with an ideal appearance. The narcissist is obsessed with one desire - to surprise others by showing his ideal life.
- Bombast. The behavior of a king is how one can characterize the manner of communication of a person with the habits of a narcissist. He tries to stand out by any means: clothing, speech, manner of communication.
- Humiliation of other people. In moments of bad mood or loss of strength, the narcissist experiences a feeling of dissatisfaction. Against this background, a desire arises to humiliate another person. Aggression also occurs when a person with narcissistic personality disorder meets a better person (according to his own beliefs). If someone is better than a narcissist, he experiences strong and painful emotions, which later develop into aggression.
- Fear of showing emotions. Naturally, the fear of showing emotions is inherent not only in narcissists, but also in people who are not confident in themselves. Tears, feelings of pity, manifestations of tender feelings - this is not about narcissists. Internally, they understand their weakness, so they are afraid to show their emotions.
- Inability to listen. The ability to listen involves participation in dialogue, sympathy, and empathy. But narcissists lack these feelings. They find it difficult to concentrate for long periods of time. They interrupt others. Sometimes, even in a very harsh form.
- Exaggerating one's own achievements. Any book read will be accompanied by a revaluation of work. However, like any, the most insignificant action and work.
- Blaming others. Self-criticism is not typical for patients with narcissistic personality disorder. Any failures will be accompanied by accusations towards relatives, friends and ordinary acquaintances.
- Obsession with power and success. Success for narcissists is purely an external gloss. They do not work on themselves, their internal qualities, and, as noted above, they rarely bring things to a logical conclusion. Power for them is just an end in itself, and not the result of long work on oneself.
Some signs of narcissistic personality disorder are present to varying degrees in the average person. To make a diagnosis, you should visit a specialist's office.
Drives, temperament, and affects in narcissism
Successful narcissistic individuals may inspire admiration and desire to compete with them. Outwardly, they can be quite successful and satisfied people with life.
People at risk of developing a narcissistic personality are more sensitive to statements made by others about themselves and do not like criticism.
The child grows up confused because he does not fully understand whose life he should live. Being just a manager in an office, as a rule, will not suit them.
Narcissists have a strong aggressive drive, and they also cannot tolerate aggressive impulses from other people towards them. They avoid studying their own behavioral drives. They cannot and do not want to recognize themselves as imperfect people in some way.
Narcissists often have feelings of shame and envy. And also the fear of feeling shame. For example, when they see people who are superior to them in something, they feel envy and shame about their achievements because they themselves have not achieved such heights.
On the surface, narcissists' interactions with other people may not appear empathic. They are unable or unwilling to feel compassion for other people.
Narcissists are more likely to have critical parents. Most likely, they themselves, having become parents, will also relate to their children - from the position of an inflated scale of values. Psychologists call this narcissistic expansion.
These people are very vulnerable. There is a lot of envy towards those who have what a person lacks. This, as a rule, does not stimulate the narcissist to new achievements, but “accumulates poison.”
It is quite normal for narcissists to judge themselves or others for something. This provokes criticism, contempt, and then regret about what happened or could have happened.
Spontaneity
Narcissists find it difficult to feel pleasure and joy in life. The narcissistic personality type can be expressed in constant stiffness, as if the person moves in armor. Narcissists with low self-esteem try not to show their terrible imperfections to other people, so they do not express spontaneous feelings.
Narcissists are also quick to stifle spontaneity in their children because it is a manifestation of the simple joy of life that is not available to them. Children quickly learn that spontaneity can suddenly and greatly anger a parent, and they learn to behave with restraint.
The restraint and constraint of schizoids may be similar, but it is associated with a constant expectation of rejection from others. Shackled narcissists have a deep belief that they are bad. The schizoid dreams of being accepted; the narcissist will rather make an effort so that no one can find out what is inside him. Accepting other people not for their successes, but simply for who they are, does not exist in the minds of the narcissistic personality type. They can only love you for something. They may stop loving you because you have gained weight or aged. With such expectations, it is difficult to simply enjoy life; you need to constantly improve yourself.
Protective adaptive processes
The leading mechanisms that are triggered, as a rule, in narcissists are idealization and devaluation. For example, exalting some media personality, belittling your office neighbor, simply because he is not as good as he could be.
Narcissists idealize their own “I” and devalue others. Idols can be any person who is attractive to narcissists.
The narcissistic personality may demonstrate personal grandeur and superiority over other people. “Crowning” with scratching ceilings is a typical manifestation of a narcissist.
These people love to compare everyone to everyone else. Interestingly, they have their own scale of values, often not related to an objective assessment of the personal qualities of themselves or other people.
Prestige is very important to narcissists. They will tell everyone around them about branded items and services that they managed to purchase.
Evaluation and devaluation are constant attributes of communication with narcissists.
Perfectionism, ideals, placing on a pedestal. This is what accompanies the life of a narcissist.
If such people fail, they feel depressed.
In psychological counseling with narcissists, it is important to draw their attention to the fact that they may not be objective. Narcissists are often unable to enjoy themselves or to evaluate themselves and others objectively.
Narcissistic individuals identify with what they consider to be perfect people. They can elevate them to the rank of a cult.
Self-destruction can often be noted when they realize that they are not capable of achieving the ideal.
No one can be perfect, the strategy fails. But they don’t know and don’t want to know how to live differently, to be less than perfect.
Success
Narcissistic people are often successful in life. They occupy high positions and earn a lot, since the status also confirms their self-worth. Inverted narcissists may not be successful themselves. But they try to get married in such a way that their spouse will provide them well or give them status.
At the same time, the inverted narcissist will strive to confirm his own success in front of those whom he considers inferior to himself. For example, the wives of rich people may have a lot of plastic surgery and consider other women simpletons. Or they may believe that they have a very rich inner world. At the same time, the description of one’s merits is often accompanied by contempt for those who do not possess them.
The desire for success and achievement is an undoubted advantage of this personality type. Other personality types often must develop their narcissistic side to achieve financial success. Another advantage of this personality type is its practicality and business approach to solving problems.
Narcissistic expansion
How often have you heard the phrase: “I couldn’t, but my son will do it!” In this case, the parent, without realizing it, is trying to achieve personal realization with the help of his son. At the same time, the child’s wishes are not taken into account or are devalued: “What other medical faculty? You will be a lawyer, I wish you well!” It basically goes like this: “Live the life I couldn’t.”
Relatives may value a person specifically for some of his properties or qualities. This can contribute to the development of the false self - giving others what one has learned. At the same time, the personality itself can be hidden, including from itself.
When parents are proud of a child for his achievements, he enjoys it. However, the question remains - will the child receive the same, no matter what he does? Is it possible to love him just like that, regardless of how other people perceive him? In fact, the child can become what the parents did not become.
There is constant evaluation in the family. When a child disappoints, he will be criticized. And if it is not good enough, it is not clear why it differs from objective criticism. The child feels that he is being judged. The child realizes that approval is false.
You can often notice undeserved flattery. Who a person really is is not important.
Parents may experience narcissistic needs towards their child. He cannot distinguish his true feelings from the desire to please his parent.
In turn, parents can convey to their children that they can only be happy if they achieve absolute triumph in something. “Unlike me, you can have everything!” - a classic phrase from a parent to a child. It turns out that he must “not let you down.”
Development of the concept of narcissism
The beginnings of the distinction between libidinal and destructive narcissism can be found in the history of the development of the concept of narcissism. From the very beginning, two themes ran in counterpoint to the discussion of clinical narcissism. One is narcissism as a defense against unfavorable object relations; the other is narcissism as a manifestation of fundamental hostility to object relations. Even the original Narcissus myth exists in two versions: one giving a solipsistic account, the other a traumatic explanation. In Ovid's famous retelling, Narcissus pays for the fact that he considers everyone but himself unworthy of his love; but Pausanias knew another version, in which Narcissus lost his twin sister and mistakes his reflection in the pond for this lost sister.
A useful but inaccurate generalization can be made that Freud's line of thought leads us to the concept of libidinal narcissism, while Abraham's ideas, which actually predate Freud's, lead to the concept of destructive narcissism. Freud made it clear that he considered secondary narcissism to be a means of preserving or restoring love when object love seems impossible, whereas Abraham emphasized hostility towards transference objects in narcissistic disorders. Freud described self-love as a substitute for mother-love in narcissistic characters; Abraham believed that envy promotes narcissism and delays object love.
From the very beginning, Abraham associated self-absorption with “negativism.” “The negativism of dementia praecox (schizophrenia) is the very opposite of transference,” he wrote in the first psychoanalytic article on the topic (Abraham, 1908, p. 71). Abraham first noted this in a letter to Freud, with whom he had yet to meet in person. Abraham suggested that, unlike hysteria, “dementia praecox destroys the human capacity for sexual transference, that is, for object love” (Abraham, 1908, p. 69). The term “narcissism” had not yet come into use at that time, and Abraham spoke of autoeroticism. He believed that a person with schizophrenia turns away from all objects of love, returning instead to autoeroticism. Freud was certainly impressed and convinced of the validity of Abraham's theory.
Freud adopted and developed the term narcissism from Paul Nacke and Havelock Ellis, who used it to describe a person who treats his body as a sexual object. Freud's own development of the concept of narcissism began with a footnote he added in 1910 to Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality (Freud, 1905d) describing narcissistic object relations. Discussing homosexual men, Freud wrote:
“in early childhood [they] experienced a short-term but very intense fixation on a woman (usually their mother), after overcoming which they identify themselves with the woman and choose themselves as their sexual object. That is, out of narcissism, they look for young men like themselves, whom they could love as their mother loved them” (Freud, 1905d, pp. 144–145 fn.).
In the article “On Narcissism,” dating from 1914 (1914c), Freud further develops the idea of this desire for the ideal of mother-infant love. Usually falling in love, in his opinion, drains the ego in favor of the object, whose mutual love is the only means of healing this hemorrhage of the libido. Those unfortunate people whose love is unrequited are deprived not only of the love of another, but also of self-love, and therefore suffer from pain and loss of self-respect. However, secondary narcissism, according to Freud, arises only when there is some obstacle to the fulfillment of object love for internal reasons. He wrote:
“the satisfaction of love is impossible, and the enrichment of the ego can again be ensured only by the withdrawal of libido from objects. The return of the object libido to the ego and its transformation into narcissism represents, as it were, happy love again; on the other hand, it is also true that true happy love corresponds to an original state in which object libido and ego libido are indistinguishable” (Freud, 1914c, pp. 99–100).
Suddenly, in this last sentence, Freud makes us understand that the accomplished libidinal narcissist is in love with himself in the same way that someone can be “in love” with another person. But is this really another person if “happy love corresponds to an original state in which object libido and ego libido are indistinguishable”? Here Freud suggests that this "primordial" - "happy love" - is essentially narcissistic object love, regardless of whether it unfolds with another person in the external world or turns out to be a love affair with the self in the internal world. In both situations, whether the object is external or internal, a positive attitude is determined by the elimination of the difference.
If this is true, the “narcissistic state” is not simply a withdrawal from external objects to an internal object. This is a special type of internal object relation in which the separate existence and intrinsic qualities of the internal object are denied and an internal narcissistic relation is created through projective identification. This sounds like a description of the ideal relationship between the self and the ego-ideal, replacing the relationship between the ego and the superego: inner twin souls united by narcissistic love, which may make the ego's need for that superego love that Freud believed to be redundant a necessary condition of life. Isn't the narcissistic state a deviation from the superego? Do not narcissistic object relations serve as an alternative to the superego's desire for love? And in this case, is it not fear of a hostile Super-Ego or envy of a powerful, impeccable Super-Ego that prompts them? I was convinced of the validity of this assumption by a number of cases, one of which I will describe later in this chapter.
Following Abraham's discussion of narcissism, we find ourselves exploring a theme that will reach its logical conclusion in Rosenfeld's concept of destructive narcissism. In his 1908 article, Abraham associates the shift from object love to autoeroticism in dementia praecox with the negativism of patients. In the following approach to the topic, he suggests that the excessive self-esteem of some patients is accompanied by contempt and hostility towards their love objects. In his article on premature ejaculation (Abraham, 1917), Abraham describes narcissism as a source of sexual resistance: “their object love is very imperfect. Their true love object is themselves. In accordance with Freud's opinion, we find /.../ a particularly high and abnormally emotional evaluation of the penis." Abraham goes further and connects this phallic narcissism with a hostile contempt for women: “he takes revenge on every woman for the disappointments of love to which his mother subjected him in childhood” (ibid., p. 297). In his work on the psychogenesis of melancholia, he describes clinical narcissism as existing in both positive and negative forms: positive when it manifests itself as self-admiration, and negative when it manifests itself as self-denigration (Abraham, 1924).
Two years after his description of phallic narcissism, Abraham writes the first article in which narcissistic disorder is described as a concept with psychoanalytic meaning and confirmed by clinical practice (Abraham, 1919). In this article he discusses a small group of patients who are unable to follow the rules of the psychoanalytic method, although they seem to succeed in doing so (Abraham, 1919, pp. 304–305).
This 1919 article by Abraham became the starting point for Rosenfeld's first major article on narcissistic disorders (Rosenfeld, 1964). It also influenced two important papers published in 1936 linking Abraham's description of narcissistic character disorder to negative therapeutic response. One of them belonged to Joan Riviere, and the other to Karen Horney. Riviere's (1936) article introduces Klein's new theory of the depressive position and manic defense into the previous understanding of negative reactions in analysis, and adds to it the author's concept of “defensive organizations.” Horney (1936) emphasizes the compulsive rivalry of such patients with the analyst, as well as their demand for unconditional love. They need this love to withstand a double anxiety: the anxiety associated with the awareness and expression of their own hostility, as well as the anxiety associated with external retribution.
Rosenfeld took up and developed Horney's description of the patient's reaction to the analyst's work and Riviere's (1936) concept of defensive organizations. He developed his own theory of the "narcissistic organization" in the personality, which is opposed to true object relations and achieves the patient's devotion through seduction, control and tyranny.
Rosenfeld believed that it is important to distinguish between narcissistic states in which the libidinal aspects predominate and those in which the destructive aspects of narcissism predominate. Although in the first, libidinal case, when the narcissistic belief system is damaged, envy, resentment and revenge do flare up, analysis improves understanding and weakens negativism. However, with predominantly destructive narcissism, envy is more intense and less recognized, and an overwhelming desire to destroy the analyst or the self arises. In this destructive case, as Rosenfeld notes, “death is idealized as the solution to all problems” (Rosenfeld, 1987, pp. 106–107).
Hannah Segal notes that she differs from Rosenfeld on the issue of distinguishing between destructive and libidinal narcissism: in her opinion, there is only destructive narcissism. However, she also limits the scope of the term “narcissism” to that force in narcissistic organizations that is fundamentally hostile to object relations: “in narcissism, life-giving relationships and healthy self-love are equally attacked,” she writes. “Envy and narcissism are like two sides of the same coin” (Segal, 1997, pp. 75, 85). Self-love—and, by implication, Freud's description of the “happy love” of narcissistic relationships—Segal categorizes as life instincts, which he considers to be fundamentally object-loving rather than narcissistic. Within the framework of her definition of narcissism as a force directed against object relations in the individual, I completely agree with Segal. But if we talk about narcissistic disorders, I believe that they include a whole range of phenomena - destructive, libidinal, and protective.
John Steiner covers them with his broader concept of “pathological organizations”: in his opinion, defenses in them are combined with destructive and libidinal narcissistic forces (Steiner, 1987). Understanding that narcissistic systems are inevitably driven by mixed motives, he does not consider it necessary to separate them (personal communication with J. Steiner). Nevertheless, in my opinion, whatever the set of motives and however varied, at any given moment the main motive is either libidinal/protective or hostile/destructive. The formation of narcissistic object relations may be motivated by the desire to preserve the capacity for love by giving the love object a semblance of self, or it may be aimed at the annihilation of the object as a representative of otherness. Aggression can be generated either by predominantly defensive or predominantly destructive narcissism. But there is a difference between the struggle to hold on to love and the unbridled violence of hostility towards objects. In the public sphere, war may be defensive, and patriotic aggression may be love misdirected, but genocide never is: it is caused by the desire to annihilate otherness, emanating from the xenocidal impulse.
To illustrate my understanding of this distinction, I will briefly describe two patients. The first I would call suffering from a predominantly destructive narcissistic disorder, the second from a predominantly libidinal narcissistic disorder. What they have in common is the generation, through projective identification, of narcissistic relationships with the Ego-ideal in order to avoid relationships with the destructive, parental Super-Ego. Moreover, in the first case, destructiveness is translated into a relationship between twins, which then becomes a deadly alliance; on the other hand, in the second case, destructiveness becomes a mental refuge, where the original “happy love” is sought in mutual understanding.
Object relations
Interactions with other people are overloaded with the problem of self-esteem. Narcissists have an awareness that there is something wrong in their relationships with others.
One of the main tasks that a psychologist can help improve during a session is to teach how to express true feelings and not devalue them. This is intimacy.
Reality and morality demand from others who they are and what they need (self objects).
Narcissists have an underdeveloped capacity for love. They are able to experience warm feelings for another person, but it can be difficult for them to build relationships. A private psychologist can help with this.
Satisfying personal needs is a top priority for narcissists. It would seem that this is common to everyone, and many can be called selfish, however...
Narcissists often have conflicting messages to other people. They may not directly ask for a relationship, but the need for it remains. The need for love is great.
Treatment for Narcissistic Personality Disorder
People with narcissistic personality disorder overwhelmingly deny the need for treatment. And in the case when they are satisfied with life: career advancement, satisfaction of their own ambitions, admiration from others - they really feel great.
The treatment process for narcissistic personality disorder should never be rushed. Forced treatment can only worsen the patient's condition. In this case, a special individual approach is needed. No self-treatment at home. Qualified professionals should work closely with narcissists.
Today, the main treatment method for narcissistic personality disorder is psychotherapy. In this case, the therapist pursues a single goal - to convey to the patient that people must be accepted as they are.
Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder is individual. When choosing treatment methods, you should consider:
- General physical and mental condition of the patient.
- Desire to make contact.
- Patient's age.
- Social status.
- Presence of mental disorders.
One of the most successful and progressive methods of treating the disease is the psychoanalytic approach. The psychoanalytic approach allows us to identify pathological patterns at a young age.
Narcissist and the Self
The opposite states of the Ego are all good or all bad. It's about polarities.
Narcissists are afraid of separation, of conformity. They are afraid of strong feelings. Often they cannot withstand the stress.
Narcissistic clients demonstrate concern for their health and fear death. Perfectionism is noted.
A person may be aware of his own inadequacy. Feelings such as remorse and gratitude tend to be denied. They are afraid that others will see their imperfections.
Narcissists need external validation from others. This is necessary to maintain internal conformity with how they see themselves, or with some standards.
Is narcissism a disease or a personality trait?
On the one hand, this syndrome can really be regarded as a human characteristic. This is explained by the fact that, according to many teachings, selfishness is characteristic of any person from the moment of his birth into this world. However, on the other hand, we are talking about a complete personality disorder, since a person begins to perceive himself as something higher and more significant than those around him. If we are talking about progressive narcissism, then in this case it is, of course, a disease that can turn an individual’s existence into an unbearable life, as well as negatively affect his entire environment.
If a particular person has excessive narcissism, then in this case it is necessary to contact a psychologist who will help him learn to perceive himself in a normal way. We are, of course, talking about narcissistic personality disorder, which can be treated adequately. If the therapy is successful, then the person has a chance for a normal life.
There is also a theory that narcissism is a behavioral defect. However, there are many other opinions. For example, some experts describe narcissism as a syndrome. Accordingly, these scientists consider this state of the human psyche from the point of view of psychoanalysis. Sigmund Freud proved that such manifestations are characteristic of any person.
However, it is worth noting that earlier in their research, scientists simply did not consider the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder as a dangerous condition. However, over time, everything has changed. Today, narcissism is indeed becoming not even a disorder, but a full-fledged mental illness. Moreover, in this case we are talking about a pathology that can lead to a rather dangerous condition. For example, if a narcissist does not feel satisfied and does not see that others admire him, then in this case he may fall into deep depression.
Based on this, you need to take this problem very seriously and consider ways to solve it.
Transference and countertransference
When a psychologist attempts to explore how a client feels about him or her, narcissists may become irritated. They think that the psychologist is trying to be vain. This is a projection.
Often there are strong reactions to the psychologist - they either strongly devalue or idealize. They are not interested in the true feelings of the psychologist. The devalued psychologist is perceived as defensive. And the idealized psychologist is perceived as modest.
The narcissist may ignore the personality of the psychologist during the session. Boredom, irritation, and a feeling that nothing is happening in the session are noted. Feeling of incomplete presence in the office.
And admiration for a psychologist can most likely be seen as an extension of the narcissist.
The defense mechanism is a projection of either a devalued or grandiose part of one's self. A person is seen as a function to maintain his own self-esteem.
How to deal with narcissism
In this case, it all depends on the individual situation. If we are talking about a chronic mental disorder, then the treatment will be long and quite difficult. Although a person needs psychological help, he does not yet perceive himself as a problematic person. For him, a narcissistic attitude towards others is a blessing.
Therefore, such people do not voluntarily go for treatment. The specialist will have to try hard to find an approach to such a patient.
As a rule, psychologists try to demonstrate benevolence and the deepest respect towards the patient. This bribes him, and he comes to the next reception in order to receive another portion of flattery.
Psychotherapy shows good results. Classes can be conducted either individually or in group form. First of all, the essence of the problem is explained to the patients, and gradually the doctor leads them to recognize the painfulness of their condition. Once the patient agrees with the diagnosis, treatment proceeds much faster.
Together with a doctor, a person suffering from narcissism finds a constructive solution that helps him lower his self-esteem a little to the required level. However, it is very important that the specialist can correctly understand the cause of the disease and try to exclude it. If this fails, the patient will refuse treatment and will never come to the session again.
If we talk about drug treatment, it is used only if the patient suffers from a depressive disorder, he develops panic attacks, phobias and other dangerous mental disorders. In this case, a course of tranquilizers or antidepressants may be prescribed. However, you need to understand that medications cannot eliminate narcissism. In this situation, the person’s condition is only alleviated so that he does not reach the extreme point.
Application of the diagnosis of narcissism
To work with narcissists, a psychologist must be patient. It is important to understand that this is not a quick process. The specialist will have to endure reactions of boredom and countertransferences.
Confrontation of grandiosity is necessary to bring the client back into his life. The vulnerability of narcissistic clients must be taken into account here.
Accepting human imperfection is quite a challenge for narcissists. We resist change. It's important to acknowledge this.
Admitting their own mistakes is also a labor-intensive process for narcissists.
The insincere compliance of narcissists is often present both in the psychologist’s work with them and in relationships with other people. They cannot stand situations where their self-esteem decreases. Failures are not always acknowledged. They run from their mistakes and hide from those who might discover them.
The psychologist's task will be to increase awareness and honesty in such clients.
But excessive shame can lead to refusal of the session or the desire to hide something from the psychologist. Such clients are ashamed to ask for something. It is difficult for them to perceive the deficiency of their own “I”.
Narcissists do not directly ask, which is seen as humiliation. When working with them, it is important to articulate their needs.
Diagnostics
If we consider narcissistic character as a disease, then any diagnostic measures will be the same as when a person develops a pathology. First of all, the specialist conducts an external examination of the potential patient. After this, a so-called structured interview is conducted, which helps the psychiatrist or psychologist analyze the answers, as well as the person’s behavioral characteristics. After this, the specialist can compare all the data obtained, evaluate the psychology of the narcissistic personality and come to the conclusion whether this psychological disorder is dangerous or is just a slightly exaggerated feature of a particular patient.
As a rule, selfishness is quite easily revealed after the first conversation. Usually a person with such a defect categorically denies having such a problem. Making a diagnosis is complicated by the fact that the patient reacts inadequately to the specialist’s recommendations and behaves quite harshly when criticized. However, the doctor must carry out all the necessary tests in order to exclude the possibility of antisocial behavior or pathology that begins to border on hysterical disorder.
You need to understand that a person with a narcissistic personality type is, by and large, a sick patient. Therefore, it is understandable that he does not understand that he is suffering from some unpleasant pathology that he needs to exclude. By and large, this condition can be compared to alcoholism. However, as in the case of drinking strong drinks, this problem must be solved immediately.
Grandiose narcissism
DAVE
Such narcissists, as a rule, go through life blindly. They are oblivious to the plight of others and are confident in their superiority and privilege. They have a better chance of becoming famous than most people you know. They also demand attention and adoration commensurate with their extroverted personality.
However, at the same time, they can be very cute. In a recent interview with Health magazine, University of Georgia psychologist Keith Campbell compared this type of person to Tony Stark in real life. "They can be nice sometimes, like a politician or a celebrity, and then people look up to them, so they don't have to be mean all the time," the expert explained.
In general, the grandiose type of narcissism is most often associated with business tycoons and other people who are usually in the public spotlight.
Such people tend to flaunt their achievements and often do this at the expense of others. In other words, they are not ashamed of their primary interest - themselves - and sometimes use this narcissistic fervor as fuel to rise to higher levels. see also
7 signs your partner is a narcissist
