Positive attitude: advice from a psychologist

Let's find the root of the problem

Why do people get depressed? Many will easily answer the question, citing a lack of money, a quarrel with their other half, failures at work, or simply internal anxiety. But if you look at it all from above, these reasons are just a consequence of one big problem.

People lose meaning in life. In a race against time, we want to get ahead of him and accomplish a lot. But everything goes wrong. Because everyday life and the current pace of life, the desire for material enrichment pushes spirituality into the background. We forget why, what we live for, what we want. Indifference appears, which drives you into a depressive state. And only we ourselves are able to get out of it, we just need to be able to tune in to the positive.

What makes a woman a woman?

Qualities of the mind that steal feminine charm

Many women do not fully realize their feminine potential. And some women cannot reveal it until the end of their lives. And this makes them feel, to put it mildly, not entirely comfortable. More often than not, it happens that their conditioned mind has led them to a place where they are not very happy. Although, if you follow your nature, unhappiness will not come from anywhere...

After all, God created you the way you are. And if God created you the way you are, then He needs it. And those women who are happy to see and perceive themselves as they are are completely fine. They don’t need to pretend to be something, they don’t need to conform to something... They are who they are - that’s all!

And not all of them are soft, gentle, feminine... But this does not prevent them from being themselves. They are NOT pretending, they are NOT being hypocrites. And it is their sincerity that attracts other people to them, including men. They don't need to waste their energy on hypocrisy, pretense and lies.

That’s why I noted earlier that the most unhappy of women are political women. Their deception, hypocrisy, pretense makes them live a fake life, and therefore their relationships are fake. And falsehood will never allow you to be happy. Because all politics is built on falsehood and rests on deception and hypocrisy. But this article is not about politics, I just gave an example of qualities of the mind that will not bring you happiness.

Authoritarianism will not bring you happiness as a woman. I have already mentioned earlier that I have not met happy authoritarian women. I saw their complacency when they, as they say, “put in their place” their subordinates, henpecked husbands... There was self-affirmation in their eyes, but there was no happiness in them.

The paradox of women with masculine qualities

And here is the paradox... Authoritarian women, like all women, want ordinary female happiness, personal happiness with the man they love. But they ruin everything with their rudeness and authoritarianism. Women with masculine qualities repel the opposite sex. From such women you can often hear: “Where are they, men, have they all disappeared?”

But you just have to listen to your feminine nature... And discover more feminine qualities in yourself, and everything will begin to change. Attraction and magnetism arise between opposites.

Real feminine qualities that make a woman happy

It's no secret that opposites attract. Everyone strives for integrity, since only in integrity can a person experience a state of happiness. A state of real happiness, not something invented by the human mind, when everyone is happy in their own way. This is not happiness, it is a temporary satisfied desire or something else, but it is not happiness.

A person can truly be happy when he experiences a state of wholeness. Therefore, a woman is drawn to a man, and a man is drawn to a woman - they complement each other. But even if there is no opposite half next to you, if you follow your inner nature, then even this will give you a feeling of deep satisfaction.

Perhaps now you understand why a woman with masculine qualities does not look happy. Because a man will not be interested in such a woman. Most likely, an effeminate man will be interested in her, but this will not be enough for her... Even if they are together, such a man will irritate her.

In fact, a woman and a man cannot be compared; they are unique by nature. But still, for understanding, I will give some qualities that distinguish a woman from a man. Woman more:

calm
peaceful
serene
patient
trusting
spiritual
sophisticated
She can wait.

A woman has such a wonderful ability to create home comfort, a home. Women's softness and homeliness, so to speak, can surround a man with an atmosphere of calm and comfort. A woman has an innate ability to love. And it was woman who nature chose to continue the human race.

Following your inner nature means deep satisfaction and relaxation.

If a woman is soft, gentle, kind, delicate, compassionate, or, to put it in one word - feminine... Can a man pass by such a woman? And naivety and the ability to be surprised make such a woman even more beautiful, attractive and charming.

It's not even about men. These qualities themselves make a woman happy. After all, if you follow your nature, you are filled with energy, you are filled with happiness.

I probably didn’t list all the qualities that make a woman more feminine. You can find the missing qualities yourself by looking into your inner world.

As OSHO says in the book “On Women”:

Let's tell ourselves "stop"!

Bad thoughts and anxiety are all in our heads. You need to understand that feeling sorry for yourself and crying makes no sense, nothing will change: wages will not rise, the quarrel will not resolve itself, depression will not go away. First you need to put your thoughts in order. How to get rid of all the bad things from your head:

Figure out what's bothering you. Describe on paper your fears, the reasons and the solution to how to get rid of them.
Don't hide them deep in your mind. Even if you are positive, they will still break out.
Nip bad thoughts in the bud, switching to good moments, think about children, about a wonderful event in life.
Don’t create horror; there’s no need to make mountains out of molehills.
Find the positive in everything.

And remember that there is a way out of any situation. Positive thinking will relieve you of depression, and only then can you work on raising your mood.

Golden time

This is considered the first hour of a new day. Do not turn on the “box” or the Internet, do not fill your head with negativity. At this time, our brain is most receptive to information. So, “charge yourself” with the morning news, and then the whole day you will wonder why the unpleasant agitation, or even aggression, arose.

Spend this golden hour thinking, journaling, meditating, reading something enjoyable. In short, what your soul is about and what inspires you. At this time, the so-called “search for your wave” occurs. Establish a connection with yourself, then you simply cannot “lose your temper.”

How to cheer yourself up?

The first step was positive thinking. It is important to always think about the good, remember only the bright, good moments in life. Write them down in a diary, re-read them, it improves your emotional state. So how do you stay positive? Adviсe:

You need to appreciate what you are rich with. Look around, maybe everything is not so bad. Living in peace, having a job, healthy family and friends is already great happiness.
Believe in yourself and your strength. You need to set a goal, break it down into small tasks, solve one after another, get closer to your dream, but never doubt.
Use affirmation exercises. These are short installation phrases. We write thoughts expressed in a positive way, in a maximum of two sentences, in simple and understandable words. Only in first person. We say it all the time. For example, “I am always happy!” Negative particles are not recommended for use. With positive attitudes we program ourselves for success.
Let's forget about the past. You cannot live with the failures that have occurred; they and envy must be left behind. We've learned our lesson and moved on.
Visualize. Another effective exercise. Draw your dream. You can make a wish map using pictures or create a personal horoscope. Schedule your life for a certain period, what you want to achieve. Thoughts are material, dreams come true.
Music will help you get into a positive mood. If bad thoughts creep into your head, turn on a rhythmic, cheerful song, and they will immediately disappear.
Surround yourself with positive people. Don't communicate with pessimists. Take criticism appropriately.
Always praise yourself for your successes. Celebrate every small victory with a gift.

These tips will help you stay positive. These are general tips, now let’s look at the issue in more detail. Agree, everyone knows an evil morning when everything irritates you. I just want to scream. Let's talk about how to create a positive morning mood.

Awakening

What do you think about when you wake up? What's your first thought? Do you think this is not important, and you won’t remember your first thought upon waking up? But no! It is important to develop the habit of smiling when your brain is awake and be sure to think about good things. Well, for example: “Today a wonderful day awaits me!” If during the day someone actively spoils your mood, remember this thought. Keep doing this for a while. And soon you will notice how the connection: “a good, bright first thought - a great mood all day” will work automatically.

It’s great if the first words of your new day are any prayer that is authoritative for you, or your morning mood. (This is what yogis do, by the way). Come up with it yourself, experiment, see what works best. It is not necessary to read some treatise by heart as a mood! It can be just 2-3 sentences. The main thing is that they make you feel energy, joy, and self-confidence.

What is it - good morning?

To have a successful day, you need to be positive in the morning. How to do it? So, tips:

First you need to get a good night's sleep (7-8 hours), healthy sleep is the key to success.
There is no need to suddenly jump out of bed. Lie in bed for five minutes, stretch, sing your favorite song and get up on your right foot.
Don't stuff cones in the dark. Open the curtains, open the window, breathe in a breath of fresh energy.
Play your favorite music.
Find a reason to be happy. These could be plans for the weekend, for example.
Do morning exercises. It will give you vigor and lift your spirits.
Drink a glass of water. Then take a shower.

After all this, go to the mirror and say affirmative phrases that will set you up for positivity.

Fast rise

If you have to wake up to an alarm every morning, you probably regularly delay your awakening by pressing the “alarm in 5/10/15 minutes” button several times. Psychologists unanimously say that this is absolutely not necessary. You won’t get enough sleep during these minutes, your heart will jump from every call, and, lying in bed, you will then get ready in a fuss, so the morning will turn out to be crumpled. If you find it difficult to get up, use the “5 second rule”, invented by American coach Mel Robbins. She recommends imagining that you are a rocket and counting down in your head “5-4-3-2-1-launch” and stand up. It sounds strange, but this method works. This is explained simply - in our consciousness there is a time window of a few seconds when we can consciously make a decision to act, after which we return to automatic mode. Once you get the hang of getting up on time, set your alarm 15 or 30 minutes earlier. This will give you extra time for your morning rituals.

Morning affirmations

How to set yourself up for positivity and good luck for the whole day? Very simple. Having thrown off the sleepy shackles, you can begin practical exercises. It may seem stupid at first and you may not notice a change right away. But it works. And the more you put positivity, positive emotions and energy into your spoken words, the better results they will give.

You can make several affirmations, but repeat them every day, and you will notice how your life will improve.

What removes a woman from happiness or from a successful coincidence of circumstances?

Over 30 years of observing myself, my life and the people around me, I have noticed many times... Many people do everything, or a lot of things... in order not to be happy. And then they complain about life, that for some reason everything is bad for them. I hope you are not one of them. Although some patterned actions of your mind and some far-fetched values undoubtedly complicate your life.

Otherwise you wouldn't be looking for meditation for a good day. And morning meditation for a good day can really set you up to get rid of your mental patterns. And as a result, at the end of the day you will be able to state the fact that the day was truly successful.

I often have to tell in different words how an unconscious lifestyle interferes with our happy life. And this same unconsciousness prevents women from being women.

I don’t want you to get the impression that I am against women taking an active position in life... I have sympathy for women - managers, women who have their own businesses, etc. But I have never met a happy authoritarian woman. And the most unfortunate of women, in my opinion, are political women. Politics has never made anyone happy, neither women nor men. Power and wealth are not an indicator of a happy life.

All these qualities - power, authoritarianism, dominance, leadership, etc., all these are qualities of the mind. But in our minds we cannot be happy. The mind is calculating, it is necessary for calculations so that you are not deceived in the market. But, no matter how sad it may sound, your mind will not allow you to be happy in your personal life.

Example phrases

The main thing is that they come from the heart, so that you want to say them. Think about them in advance and write them down on a piece of paper. So, you can say these words:

I am the most beautiful and happiest in the world!
I am a positive, lucky person!
I achieve all my goals!
I am healthy)!
I am the best specialist at work!
Everything works out for me!

Choose the phrases that are right for you, say them, even shout them, and secure them with a radiant smile. And watch how wings grow behind your back, you will want to fly and create.

You should start your morning by exercising or stretching

For all those who say, “Oh my god, I don’t have time for a morning workout.” I'm not talking about 45 minutes of cardio or strength training, but rather a few minutes of exercise to wake up the body and give it a boost.

Even just 10 minutes of stretching will bring your muscles back to life. You will definitely feel truly energetic and fit.

Let's tear off the masks

What is said about a positive attitude in psychology? If you artificially put on a smile, abstract yourself from problems without solving them, nothing will change. Our thinking is determined by a number of psychological program settings that create a positive attitude.

Therefore, everyday positive psychological attitudes create positive thinking, which will attract health, luck, success, while negative programs repel them. Everything that surrounds us is the result of our perception, attitude to life, so first we need to start changing ourselves, our thinking, working with the subconscious, because that is where our thoughts are formed. Let's look at this using an example of one technique.

Benefits of Positive Thinking

It is important to highlight the significant advantages of positive thinking over negative thinking:

increase in life expectancy;
people with positive thinking are practically not susceptible to depression;
resistance to stress;
the ability to soberly assess the situation, even under difficult circumstances;
perception of negative situations as a life lesson, not punishment;
are less likely to suffer from hypertension;
have high rates of adaptability and adaptation;
good health;
the ability to control oneself and what is happening.

It is important to note: It is worth noting once again that positive thinking is not a mask under which a person hides and shrugs off that everything is fine and good. This is not positive thinking, but self-deception; if you really have a bad streak, then you need to admit it and look for ways to get out of the situation. After all, such a deceptive perception can lead to internal conflict, and then problems with psychological health, and then psychosomatic manifestations.

Positive thinking is not the denial of negative situations, emotions and feelings, it is the ability to cope with them with minimal losses, which also exhibits additional positive qualities:

increased motivation;
strengthening willpower;
understanding how to get out of conflict situations;
personal growth;
increasing concentration when solving important problems;
responsibility for what happens in life;
self-confidence;
clarity of goals and presence of priorities.

Such people do not deny failures, they accept them and try to solve it. After the problem is resolved, people usually remember the incident as an adventure that helped them look at the world differently and become stronger.

"Change your life in 21 days"

Its author is clergyman Will Bowen. Studying the psychology of people, he came to the conclusion that our thought process depends on what we say, how, and then affects our emotional state and actions.

This amazing method is incredibly effective. Those who wished had to put a simple purple bracelet on their hand and wear it on one hand for 21 days. But one condition had to be fulfilled: not to discuss anyone, not to get angry, not to gossip and not to complain about fate. If the rule was violated, the jewelry was put on the other wrist, and the countdown began again.

The lucky ones who reached the end of the experiment changed beyond recognition. The point is that by putting on a bracelet, you deliberately program yourself to be positive and begin to think well about people. Self-control, control over thoughts and speech are activated. Self-improvement occurs, new hidden facets of thinking and possibilities open up. We need to learn to live positively.

Now let’s share some little feminine tricks

A happy person glows from within, he succeeds in everything. What can I advise women to have a positive attitude? There are several practical recommendations. So:

Smile. The morning should begin with it. Smile at your children and husband. And your mood will immediately lift.
Make the most of everything. No matter how the situation turns out, look at it from the other side.
Pamper yourself. Visit beauty salons, buy yourself gifts.
Movement is life. Do what you love, go to the pool, go to the gym, for example. It distracts from problems and lifts your spirits.
Don't put things off. Your needs and desires must be satisfied immediately.

By following these simple tips, you can stay positive. The main thing is to drive bad thoughts away from yourself. And, of course, use the affirmation method and apply autogenic training (positive attitudes) in the morning and before bed.

Sleep phases

Everyone knows about the existence of so-called sleep phases. But how exactly can they help set the mood for a good day for women or men?

The slow-wave sleep phase lasts about an hour and a half after falling asleep. It has four stages:

Nap. During it, there is a decrease in muscle activity, heart rate and breathing, and the eyes may move slowly.
Light sleep. Muscle activity decreases even more, the eyes are already motionless, and consciousness turns off.
Slow sleep. Muscle activity is reduced to a minimum.
Deep slow sleep. During it, a person sees about 80 percent of his dreams, and it is difficult to wake him up at this stage. Attacks of sleepwalking in people suffering from this disease also occur at this time. At the same time, a person will not remember all the nightmares during deep slow sleep.

This is followed by the REM sleep phase, which lasts about fifteen minutes. The person is in a completely motionless state, while the eyes make chaotic movements. The most vivid dreams come to a person precisely in this phase, and if he is woken up, then with a high probability he will remember the dream in detail.

A few more tips on how to make a person positive

There is so much negativity in the world, you need to try to protect yourself from it as much as possible:

Avoid watching negative television programs and horror films. All bad information settles in the subconscious, which can significantly affect our lives.
Try to avoid stressful situations. They have a detrimental effect on our psyche and perception of life.
Train your brain. Improve yourself, develop your memory. Firstly, it will help in making any decision, and secondly, when the head is busy with the thought process, there is no time left for negative thoughts.
Plan. Set goals for yourself and achieve them. This way you will look for ways and incentives to achieve them and at the same time get rid of fears and uncertainty. When a person clearly knows what he wants, life is immediately filled with meaning, changes for the better, and sometimes completely, beyond recognition.

These recommendations seem complicated only at first glance. You just need to work hard, because if you sit back, grace will not fall from the sky. Only by working on yourself can you achieve success. We managed to get positive, but what to do next?