Change or die! Why you shouldn't be afraid of change

Psychology

• Why are we afraid of change
• Create certainty
• Focus on immediate goals
• Don't be afraid to make mistakes
• Look for like-minded people
• Filter incoming information
• Finally

The prospects of changing jobs, starting to do what you love, moving to another city/country, ending an old relationship - all this excites the imagination, but at the same time frightens, forces you to stay in place and dream fruitlessly.

Why are we afraid of change

Fear of change has an irrational basis. Just like millions of years ago, our brain is still guided by the instinct of self-preservation and the need for safety. Time after time, ancient instincts keep us from stepping into the unknown, because there, in a dark cave, a wild beast may be hiding.

The unknown feeds our fears

There are two types of fear of uncertainty.

1. We are afraid to lose even something that doesn’t suit us too much or at all, so as not to move forward. Doubts: “What if it gets worse?” and “I won’t succeed” cause stupor.
2. Changes beyond our control . The impermanence of life itself unsettles you and makes you experience anxiety, which can develop into a serious nervous disorder. Fear of losing a job, losing attractiveness over time, being left alone.

In both cases, there are two different approaches: perceive the situation as a tragedy or as a reason to start a new life.

Fear

Ways to deal with fear

Rationalization

Write on a piece of paper what the worst thing will happen if you decide to change. And try to carefully study each reason. Are they really so unsolvable and terrible? Or did they just turn out to be a little exaggerated? Or, despite the seriousness of the consequences, do you, in principle, understand what actions need to be taken to correct the situation?

Fear is actually a very emotionally charged feeling. So much so that it can even “paralyze”. Yes, the person simply “freezes,” unable to move or think about anything.

And the only thing that will help cope with this condition is rationalization. Take each point and criticize it, find out how much it really reflects reality.

Settings

Write what you really want, but are afraid to let into your life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of illogical or irrational attitudes that prevent you from living fully.

For example, how can you make a lot of money if you consider rich people to be criminals? Or to think that then they will pay for luxury in any case with their health?

These attitudes work on a subconscious level. A person can try to work almost three jobs at once, but still feel a lack of finances. He may even earn enough, more than other people in the environment, but “waste” the money on something unnecessary, which is why he will then not be able to afford what he wants.

Not getting married? What are your thoughts about married life? What if, taking them into account, your subconscious is trying with all its might to protect, to preserve, and so the fear of change arises?

Attitude transformation

No change should be considered a bad or good event. Otherwise, in this case, you create an emotional attachment. Let’s say you thought that after doing something new you’d have a great life, but it turned out that’s not the case. There was disappointment. Where does a positive attitude come from for the next expected events? It is quite natural for a person to be suspicious and wary of them.

So try to just consider them a necessity. Something you can't do without. Indeed, change is an integral part of life, sometimes inevitable, no matter how hard a person tries to “hide.”

Everything has its pros and cons. It's important to notice them. Even a crisis accompanied by pain and anger turns out to be useful.

For example, with the birth of a child comes not only joy and unbridled happiness, but also fatigue, anxiety, irritability, and sometimes depression. As well as the discomfort regarding changing the regime, additional financial expenses, in moments there is so much tenderness and love that it seems that nothing in the world is worth more than the smile of your baby.

Abstraction

Shift your focus to something else. Exercise to relieve excess stress and anxiety. When your body relaxes at least a little, you will have the opportunity to notice the resource side of change.

The more energy we invest in fantasies, the more fear will fill our body and mind. You don't need to stop yourself.

If you feel that you simply cannot find a place for yourself and relax, go to the gym. Box, run, meditate. The main thing is not to hold tension inside.

Stabilization

Instead of panic, learn to “turn on” your internal waiting switch. Just slow yourself down. A person who knows how to cope and live through uncertainty has a more stable psyche than one who immediately begins to fuss. And also less susceptible to stress, which, as you know, greatly affects your health.

Yes, it’s difficult to sit quietly when your energy is just going through the roof. But think about how many actions you will take in such a state that will not bring anything good in the end.

So keep your mind clear. You will still need it. Stop, look around and only then take a step forward. Agree, it is difficult to build a route without understanding from which point you need to start. And if you run without looking back, you can get lost and, in the end, find yourself in some kind of wilderness.

Fighting illusions

This is probably the most unpleasant stage. Illusions support and give hope for a wonderful future, one that one can only dream about. But it is illusions that prevent you from enjoying what you have. They distort reality.

And the time has come to abandon them, to try to destroy them. But what to do if they lead to such strong disappointments that they can deprive life of meaning?

When we divide the world, for example, into good and evil, the level of anxiety decreases, since it becomes clearer what can be done and what cannot be done. But this division distorts reality. Because obedience does not always bring happiness.

To get something, you need to take a number of specific actions that will help you realize what you want. And not just live honestly and hope that at one moment the Universe will take and unexpectedly give you a bag of money.

Support

There are individuals who keep their plans in the strictest confidence until they implement them. Because they believe that they will be “jinxed”, their luck will be scared away, and then things will probably end badly.

Now imagine how much tension arises from the need to not only worry about the future, but also to hold thoughts and feelings inside yourself. How many resources of the body are wasted, just for one retention!

Of course, how can you not be afraid of changes later, if after them you have no strength for anything? Sometimes you can’t even really rejoice at success.

Such “partisanship” may well lead to neurosis. It’s clear that you shouldn’t tell everyone you meet about your plans. Yes, and there are people who are unable to cope with their envy and may well take some actions that will hinder you.

Just think about who you could trust and share your experiences with this person. Perhaps he will not only support, but also share his experience.

Procrastination

Or maybe it’s not fear at all that’s stopping you from moving forward, but simply ordinary procrastination, that is, the habit of putting things off until later?

Then learn to get down to business immediately after making a decision, and not on Monday or next year. Remember, if you stand still for a long time, it threatens degradation and depression? Needs are not satisfied, since this requires constant movement, creative adaptation to new tasks and difficulties.

If you don’t know how to deal with this enemy with such a complex name, it doesn’t matter. Since this article was written specifically to help get rid of procrastination.

Affirmations

The method of positive affirmations will help you calm down on a subconscious level. This means that you will not make decisions that will have a negative impact in the future. You will feel confident in your abilities. So to speak, you will program yourself for success.

And if you believe that you can achieve your goal no matter what, you will be unstoppable. Even if failures follow you, faith will not let you give up until you get what you want.

It is enough to devote time to this method several times a day, repeating the same phrase in front of the mirror 15 times. You can get a list of the most effective positively charged formulations by following this link.

Create certainty

Our brain is an ardent conservative; it prefers to remain in the comfort zone at all costs, and reacts to any new situations with stress.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step

We cannot predict the distant future, but we have today to start from. In our information age, turning uncertainty into certainty is not so difficult. Talk to people who have experienced similar changes, search for similar situations on the Internet, and from the information received, build a suitable model of behavior and action .

Safety and Risk

At one master class, the founder of the Like empire, Ayaz Shabutdinov, explained what he did before launching his businesses.
He divided the sheet into two columns. In one he wrote what his life would be like if he chose “security” (stable work for his “uncle” for 40 years; you always know when the salary will come, and then a happy old age and a pension of 15 thousand rubles). And in the other - what will happen if he chooses “risk”. In the worst case, he will lose his car and apartment, which he mortgaged in order to get start-up capital.

“I realized that if I took risks, I could lose everything. But with this risk I “buy” the hope of changing everything in my life,” he said.

So at risk you buy the opportunity to change everything!

What are you risking? Photo: pixabay.com

Focus on immediate goals

Set small and easily achievable goals that will help you navigate through change with the best results. The brain will be busy with business, therefore, there is simply no time to worry, and at the same time you will develop the necessary base.

While going through or just planning changes, track your development process

It is best to keep a diary where you write down what needs to be done and what the result was.

Such actions will allow:

• or congratulate yourself on a small success (which will go towards your self-esteem);
• or identify the cause of failure and consider further steps .

Achieving the goal

conclusions

• It's okay to be afraid. Fear speaks about your stable mental health.
• Fear can and should be managed - it is a useful skill of an emotionally mature person, and not a magical superpower.
• "The sleep of reason gives birth to monsters." If you are constantly afraid of illness and death, then you are minding your own business and living a life that is not your own. Think about what you really want to do, set goals and move towards them in micro steps.

From the editor

Fear is one of our basic negative emotions that can both hinder and help us. Coach, trainer, and business consultant Evgeniy Shulman tells how to direct attention to their positive goal: .

Why do we put off making major changes in our lives? It's all because of the ancient part of our brain, which perceives any change as a threat. However, genes can be defeated using the change constructor, which is offered by intercultural communication specialist Elena Vaichikauska-Povolnova: .

“The Lizard in Your Head,” clearly and humorously tells us how our reptilian brain works Funny comics that will help you better understand yourself and everyone around you.” We have collected the author's key ideas in the review: .

Look for like-minded people

With a company it is easier to overcome difficulties and look for ways out of the current situation.

If possible, share your fears with loved ones. Moral support is sometimes simply necessary.

The doubts that live in your head love solitude and cannot stand company.

If there is no loved one nearby, write down on paper everything that is in your heart. This is an effective way to “throw out” excess stress.

Like-minded people

Neophobic reactions

Fear of change can manifest itself in forms that are not obvious, but have a tremendous impact on life. It is likely that neophobia will negatively affect a person when he:

• suffers an unhappy marriage/relationship;
• remains in a job that does not provide adequate emotional and/or financial satisfaction;
• has a clearly limited set of interests and rejects others;
• is friends only with specific people and does not want to make new acquaintances;
• has a limited list of places where he likes to visit and does not deviate from it;
• refuses opportunities that could be beneficial;
• gets irritated and defensive when someone suggests he reconsider or change his life.

By succumbing to the fear of the new, a person misses many chances that can significantly improve the quality of life. In moderate to severe form, neophobia may manifest itself as:

1. Ideophobia is a fear of new ideas that stops progress and can lead to disaster, since new ideas and ways of thinking about a situation are critical to success.
2. Technophobia is fear or dislike of advanced technologies and new devices. An estimated one-third of the population suffers from technophobia, and older people are especially susceptible to this fear.
3. Epistemophobia is an irrational fear of new knowledge or unknown information.
4. Food neophobia. Often occurs in young children. Picky eaters who refuse unfamiliar foods may actually be suffering from food neophobia.
5. Futurophobia is a fear of the future that causes anxiety and nervousness.
6. Ergasiophobia is an abnormal fear of work or job search, avoidance of new activities.
7. Anthropophobia (fear of people), which manifests itself as a fear of new acquaintances and social contacts.

In addition to the subtypes of neophobia listed above, fear can manifest itself in the form of painful resistance to new youth cultures, vaccines and vaccinations, changes in the Russian language, etc.