To take care about SMB, help, provide, feed, listen, protect, hug... All of these actions require courage, generosity and a lot of effort.
Caring , despite its complexity, has many benefits. The thought of being rewarded by caring for people is disconcerting. It is not easy for those who are not used to showing concern for others to come to an understanding of the meaning of caring. Is it possible to only be concerned about your own interests?
What does it mean to “care”?
The word "care" has its roots in the Old English "caru", which translated means "concern", "attention". Care has to do with supervision, provision, guardianship, patronage.
Try to recall in your memory how you took care of your child, pet, or flower. A person gives himself entirely to them, putting aside his own affairs and putting their needs at the forefront.
The type of care is also influenced by who and what is cared for. You feed the baby, walk your pet, regularly water the flowers in the house. If you care about someone, actual actions, like relationships, are not of paramount importance.
You may well show concern for objects (for example, a car, a garden plot), abstract concepts (beliefs, moral priorities), but it looks the same in all cases: you want to help - you offer your own time and loyalty, which, in turn , allows you to make sure that the object of your care is not in danger.
Also, few people think about it, but any person can use care as a form of control over other people, but this should not be done, because such an approach is a path to nowhere.
Philosophical definition
What is care from a thinker's point of view? In German philosophy, this term moved from the category of ethics to the category of universal ones. This is especially true for existentialism. Caring in this philosophical direction was first considered by Heidegger, who recognized it as a fundamental feeling of human existence. People are constantly in anxiety and fear for themselves, their loved ones, property and plans. Therefore, care is the main mode and reason for their activity, which is sometimes completely meaningless. After Heidegger, other European philosophers of this direction, in particular Sartre and Camus, began to write about this ethical concept, but they gave it a more practical meaning. The concept of “ultimate concern,” that is, concern about the final goal of life, is also characteristic of the theology of late Protestantism. Paul Tillich, in particular, talks a lot about this. That is why care has, as it were, two definitions - positive (trouble, care) and negative (worry, fear). Both of them are reflected in explanatory dictionaries.
Should you take care of yourself first?
Caring for people is equivalent to the expression: “Love yourself, and then you will love those around you.” You must first take care of yourself in order to then be able to take care of a person.
Let's look at an example that clearly demonstrates the principle. According to aviation rules, if turbulence occurs and oxygen masks fall out, you must first put the mask on yourself, and then on the child. To take care of your child, you need to ensure your own safety.
Showing care for your neighbor who is broken by illness is impossible if you can’t sleep at night. It is extremely important to take into account your own needs, and not at all for selfish reasons, but quite the opposite. This way you will help your loved one in a rational, not frantic way.
*It is important not to confuse self-love and self-respect with egocentrism. Drive away the feeling of guilt. Egocentric people provide help to others solely to inflate their sense of self-importance to incredible proportions. Individuals who love themselves realize that if they have learned to take care of themselves, then it will be much easier for them to take care of someone else.
The relationship between caring for others and worrying about oneself
When a person takes care of people , his ability to take care of himself begins to develop. According to neuroscientists, these two skills are closely related. When an individual admires others and shows compassion, neural structures in his brain are activated that help form self-awareness.
Caring for others forces a person to reflect on his own self, influences his moral choices, and also encourages him to take part in charitable activities.
In matters concerning self-care, the individual does not protect the boundaries of his self, but, on the contrary, strives to overcome them, that is, he steps over his pride. This is how humanity develops, a sincere desire to care.
In such a desirable, but difficult to implement coordinate system, it is possible to return selflessness, selflessness, restore lost connections, and show genuine concern for people. It is likely that life in society will no longer evoke strong associations with the battlefield for personal gain.
Shredding and individualization of morality
No one cares about others anymore . Currently, there is a moral crisis in society, which is directly related to the cult of egocentrism. Narcissists and hedonists have “abolished” moral regulation, considering it just a kind of entertainment.
As a result of this, a change in moral attitudes occurs. Communities are destroyed, as a result of which personal responsibility to others is weakened. All contacts in one way or another come down to functional dependence, while morality is understood exclusively as the individual’s responsibility to his own person.
It would seem that such morality helps prevent wrong actions, but the range of its action is very limited. In this case, we are talking about a very narrow meaning of this concept - the instinct of self-preservation, for example. In essence, this kind of self-care is more like concern or even a kind of apprehension.
Raising egocentrism to the absolute level is, according to neuroscientists, a vulnerable position.
How do men understand this word?
A man and a woman differ in their understanding of certain actions and words.
The same difference is observed in the understanding of the meaning of care. Most men see the word “care” as material support for their woman and children. Realists and pragmatists, they rarely show their caring through words or gentle actions. Many men find it difficult to understand that providing for children financially will not replace time spent together. Let's do an experiment. Close your eyes and remember the most joyful moments of childhood spent with your parents. It’s unlikely that it will be 10 servings of ice cream eaten, cool sneakers bought, or renovations in the room. Surely the first thing that comes to mind is fun snowball fights in winter, walks in the park or family trips somewhere. In any case, the child remembers the quality of communication with his parents, and not its material component. Dads! Do not skimp on caring for the moral state of children and wives, as well as meeting their psychological needs.
Caring for others is natural to humans
Caring for others and helping those in need , according to recent neurobiological research, induces activity in the brain regions associated with pleasure. Thus, children as young as 1.5 years old try to help even strangers. Conclusion: Self-care is closely related to caring for others.
Other studies, for example, of social emotions, have clearly demonstrated that despite the fact that these emotions are caused by the state of others, they push the individual to reflect on his own point of view and behavior. And such reflection already serves as an important step towards behavior approved by society.
The path to self-development is through compassion - is it really so?
Between social emotions and moral actions there is an intermediate link in the form of introspection, which involves an understanding of visceral sensations. The latter represent the body's reactions to various feelings or the influence of environmental factors (for example, the appearance of goosebumps from fear, frost or pleasure).
Neuroscientists were able to find out that these emotions lead to a surge of activity in areas of the cerebral cortex included in the network corresponding to a sense of self-importance. Increased activity of this network usually occurs at the moment when an individual makes a moral judgment.
In other words, visceral processes serve as a bridge between social emotions and personal incentives for moral actions.
Earning money for daily needs, providing necessities for your family, and taking care of your own children is important. But finding time and money for your own development is necessary in order to move forward.
Self-awareness through caring for someone
Caring for someone is necessary so that a sense of self-identification is formed and it is easier for a person to understand himself. Conversely, the maturity of one’s own self is the basis for empathy and concern for another. That is, the development of the ability to take care of oneself occurs in cases where a person takes care of someone.
The category of care is transformed, acquiring a transcendental character. In this sense, care already acquires a broad meaning, representing not just concern for the well-being of one’s own self, but a way of existence.
How does it manifest itself?
We learn how caring is shown from a young age.
Many people are familiar with the picture of a child crying after a fall, whom his mother is trying with all her efforts to calm. The mother is ready to carry a baby who is sick in her arms everywhere and always, to give him the most delicious and healthy things, as long as he gets well. In prosperous families, mothers are the first example of care and concern, combined into one concept - care. Tender care is manifested in the concern of parents for their children, of wives for their husbands, and vice versa. This concern is not just in words or in the heart, it is reinforced by concrete actions, for example, preparing favorite or healthy dishes for your mother, sheltering your wife on a cold night, making purchases for some lonely grandmother from a caring stranger, and so on.
Caring for others is caring for yourself
Caring for others has historically been the so-called golden rule of morality. Its essence lies in the fact that a person should not do to others what he does not want for himself. And vice versa, accordingly: one should act with others as the individual would like to be treated with him.
When you care for someone, think about how you would like that person to care for you. If you find yourself bedridden, what would you like your caregiver to consider? If you were a baby, how would your parents keep you out of trouble?
Take care of your health
Take care of yourself to have good health, give up bad habits such as alcohol, smoking, and lead a healthy lifestyle. Treat any diseases in a timely manner and take care of their prevention. This way you can lend a helping hand at the right time to someone who needs support.
*Caring for people and the good deeds you do are some of the noblest things to strive for. And let the Almighty, Karma or the Universe not say thank you, but the heart will definitely thank you.
Help at home
Lack of basic help at home is the cause of strong quarrels among many couples
Traditionally, housekeeping and household management falls on the woman. But most women now work equally with men and are very tired from the double load.
What can a man do to relieve his companion :
- wash dishes after yourself;
- put things back after using them;
- hang things up after washing;
- put away your clothes;
- sometimes cook dinners yourself;
- taking out the trash.
will make life together significantly . Women especially appreciate help that they don't have to ask for. This shows that the man understands that she is tired without further explanation, and that it is also important for him to live in a clean and orderly manner.
Helping a woman at home
