What is sympathy? Sympathy is a feeling of emotional predisposition towards an object. From Greek “sympatheia” – “attraction”, which means the subjective impression of attractiveness and desirability of something. Associated with the concepts of synchronicity and mutual attunement. In some cultures it can mean empathy and the desire for happiness. Under the influence of the Stoics and ancient Greek philosophers of the early (IV–V centuries BC), the concept of sympathy entered the vocabulary of mystics, romantics, and philosophers. At that time we were talking about cosmic sympathy. Cosmos was the name given to nature and the elements, and it was about the emergence of natural (cosmic) sympathy. Even then, both unconscious (natural) reasons and social ways of the emergence of sympathy were considered, since they believed that the cosmos (nature), society and the individual exist according to the same laws. The emergence of sympathy between people is explained by unanimity, commonality of views and interests, and a subjective selective positive reaction to the person of another.
Sympathy is seen as an instinctive tendency resulting from a feeling of kinship. External manifestations are an active expression of interest, goodwill, and attentiveness. The opposite is the feeling of antipathy. Interest in what sympathy is, the definition of this feeling is inherent in man.
What does sympathy mean?
Sympathy is a feeling for a person that symbolizes emotional closeness with him. In a love relationship, sympathy means attraction, desire.
In Greek, sympatia is an internal disposition towards a person. The word also means attractiveness.
Sympathy often arises on the basis of common views, interests, and values. Can be expressed as a positive reaction to a person's appearance or behavior.
Difference from politeness
Politeness is a respectful, tactful attitude, and a willingness to find compromises.
You can communicate politely with any people, even those you don’t like, irritate or cause other unpleasant emotions. This is an indicator of good manners and ability to behave in society; it does not indicate attraction or other intentions.
Sympathy is an emotion, and politeness is just a form of communication that does not imply a special attitude towards a person.
Difference from falling in love
People develop sympathy almost in the first minutes after meeting and communicating.
Falling in love is a much stronger and more emotional feeling that takes some time to form. Falling in love is often based on sympathy.
Attractive appearance
Experiments with people have shown that physical characteristics play a large role in the formation of sympathy. This is due to the fact that by surrounding ourselves with more beautiful people, we acquire higher reviews in society, a certain status and attitude towards ourselves. However, it was noted that if you appear in society with a more attractive partner or boyfriend (girlfriend), you can receive low reviews of yourself. All this happens because of the comparative attitude. Against the background of a more beautiful person, we get lost.
Remember that mutual sympathy is a relationship built not only on physical attractiveness. This is unity by common goals, interests, similarity of character, views and life priorities.
Types of sympathy
In psychology, there are several types of sympathy.
For example, sympathy can arise for one person or simultaneously for a whole group of people. For example, the club of fans of Mikhail Bulgakov’s work sympathizes with only one person - the writer. The teenager likes to listen to the songs of the band Metallica, that is, he already sympathizes with several people at once.
Personal sympathy is divided into several types.
Name of sympathy. | Description. | Example. |
Physical. | Arises due to the attractive appearance of the object, his style of clothing, timbre of voice or hairstyle. | Marina likes her new classmate because she liked her clothing style. |
Spiritual. | It arises at a deeper level when people are connected by common interests, thoughts, moral principles, and outlook on life. | Denis and Maxim sympathize with each other, as they both like to read books in the fantasy genre, and then discuss what they read together and share their impressions. |
One-sided. | It occurs only in one person and does not require reciprocal sympathy. | Masha is a fan of the actor. |
Interpersonal. | Exists between several people at once. | In a company of 5 people, all people like each other. |
Friendly. | Attraction to another person, a desire to communicate with him, to support him, a willingness to help. | Lisa and Yulia have been friends since first grade, there is a friendly sympathy between them. |
Romantic. | Appears to a person with whom you want to enter into a romantic relationship. | Ivan demonstrates romantic sympathy for his colleague, understands that he will soon fall in love, and dreams of dating her. |
Hidden. | It occurs when a person doubts his feelings, is cautious and does not call his emotions sympathy. | Mikhail is not yet sure whether he likes Anna, so he takes a closer look at her. |
Love
Or maybe this is true love after all? Many people nowadays generally deny the existence of love, not to mention love at first sight...
But this option still exists. There are people who don’t understand at all and don’t want long-term relationships. For them, love at first sight is one moment and a few thrown phrases. This happens in people with non-standard psyche and thinking, as well as heightened feelings, because they cannot distinguish between such concepts as love at first sight and sympathy. Impulsive people tend to fall in love.
In conclusion, I would like to say that the options considered are just a theory. Don't experiment with your feelings! Remember that love is easy to miss, so don’t worry too much about how to distinguish love from sympathy. Otherwise, you can miss your only chance, spending all your free time and attention on solving this riddle.
What is sympathy and antipathy
Antipathy is the opposite feeling of sympathy.
If sympathy is a persistent positive feeling towards a person, then antipathy is disapproval and hostility towards others.
Antipathy is sometimes quite justified. For example, the person behaved inappropriately or looked unsightly. It is not surprising that he causes antipathy in society. But there is also unconscious, uncontrollable antipathy that arises for no apparent reason at first glance.
Antipathy arises if one person behaves incorrectly, according to the ideas of another. Because of these ideas, negative perceptions are formed.
Gestures that show lack of interest
But there are nonverbal gestures that show lack of interest. One of them is crossing your arms over your chest. Such a gesture says that the man does not want to contact you, he is protecting himself, and feels awkward. In addition, crossed legs are also a sign of lack of sympathy.
Reluctance to communicate is expressed in hiding hands in pockets, hiding ears, and also bringing strangers into the conversation. Thus, the man turns on his defenses, builds a wall so as not to meet with you. In addition, signals that indicate a lack of interest are expressed in a boring look that a man looks away from you from time to time, a long face, and yawning.
With the help of other objects, he tries to entertain himself: he picks up objects at hand and spins them, sorts them out. This is evidence of apathy.
Why does sympathy arise - reasons
The emergence of sympathy occurs for a number of reasons:
- Similarity. The human psyche is designed in such a way that we like people who are most similar to us. The similarity does not necessarily have to be in interests and hobbies, although this is also possible. Often girls with the same hair color or people who were born on the same date admitted their liking to each other.
- Social and territorial proximity. Sympathy is more likely to arise among people who spend a lot of time together because they have something in common (classmates, work colleagues, fans of the same football club, visitors to the library reading room).
- Factor of reciprocity. If a person knows that a neighbor treats him well, he also begins to sympathize with him. According to the same principle, a person’s sympathy disappears if it does not receive reinforcement for a long time.
- External attractiveness. Of course, you shouldn’t evaluate a person solely by appearance, but you won’t be able to completely abandon this factor either. A person still prefers to have attractive and pleasant people next to him.
- Level of openness in communication. If it is easy to communicate with a person, he can support almost any topic and behaves openly, then those around him involuntarily begin to sympathize with him.
Could a pleasant association be the reason?
Association of a person with something positive is also a reason. If a person works as an event organizer, then he has a much greater chance of winning the sympathy of others than a prison guard. Negative and positive associations often lead to superstitions.
What factors are decisive for you when sympathy arises? Share your opinion in the comments.
Where is the line?
Falling in love and sympathy are not always interconnected. Very often, having common interests and similar views on life is confused with feelings. When a person lacks communication, he has a greater tendency to confuse feelings.
In order to recognize what feeling a person is experiencing, you need to take a focused look at the relationship. Do they have a feeling of jealousy or a desire to care. Or personal interests prevail. In order to distinguish love from sympathy, it is important to understand what drives actions. The desire to communicate and be close to an object or the desire to master it. It is extremely important to understand what motives drive the relationship. Sometimes people marry on the basis of friendship. Such marriages can be quite strong, but they can collapse in an instant if one of the partners meets true love.
A person wants sympathy to be followed by infatuation, which would develop into love. But relationships do not always develop in the correct sequence. There are often times when a friendship turns into something big. The opposite is also possible; a caring attitude between two people prevents mistakes from occurring and helps relationships develop in the right direction.
Sympathy for a man
If a girl feels sympathy for a guy, then she will try to demonstrate this in various ways:
- She strives to be alone with him. The bravest girls openly invite a guy on a date, to a movie, or to have lunch together.
- In the conversation, phrases slip about the desire to get to know each other better.
- At a party, at university or at work, he tries to stay close to the object of his affection.
- Doesn't miss the opportunity to touch a man.
- Little by little he penetrates the guy’s personal space, trying to stay as close as possible.
- Sometimes he begins to behave rather stupidly around the object of his sympathy (giggle, pretend to be stupider than he really is, turn on a little girl).
- He regularly compliments the guy, always answers his questions, and is interested in what is happening in his life.
If a girl is very shy, then on the contrary she may distance herself . Try to show with all your appearance that you are indifferent. But by her awkwardness in his presence, they indirectly speak of sympathy.
At first sight
Love at first sight is more of a myth than a reality. Only falling in love can arise immediately. But sometimes it happens that passion and intense sympathy develop into something more stable and even.
Only time will allow us to answer the question of how to distinguish true love from a fleeting infatuation. Do not rush to make hasty conclusions, and then a real and sincere feeling will definitely knock on your heart.
The widest range of feelings is possible here. Moreover, one feeling can easily flow into another. Consequently, the search for an answer to this seemingly simple question may take a long time. However, let's take a closer look at these feelings and try to separate the “wheat from the chaff.”
Sympathy for girl and woman
To interpret a man’s personal interest in a woman or girl, you don’t need to be a subtle psychologist:
- In the presence of an object of sympathy, a guy may become timid, even if such a character trait was not previously characteristic of him.
- Strives to help the woman (hand her a coat, pick up a fallen pen, open the door for her). However, courtship should not be confused with ordinary politeness and gallantry. A polite man will help, but will not continue or deepen the communication. The person who likes him will always try to be close to the girl, maintain a conversation, and take an interest in her life.
- In correspondence, a man moves away exclusively from a business style; jokes, personal notes, and emoticons begin to appear in it.
- If a man is brave, then he allows himself to hug a woman or casually take her hand.
- A sympathetic man will certainly offer help to the girl, even if she does not ask for it directly. For example, he will immediately try to help her if he notices that her computer has frozen.
How can you tell whether a guy likes you or not by his manners and behavior?
It is worth talking to a candidate for sympathy in person, observing his facial expressions, gestures and non-verbal signals. It is also important to observe the frequency of communication. If a guy makes contact regularly, and not just for work or study, then sympathy is clearly present.
The difference in showing sympathy between a young guy and a mature man
Young and inexperienced guys can often be embarrassed to admit their crush. They behave timidly, take a long time to decide to invite a girl somewhere, and can become fixated on the friendship stage.
Mature men prefer not to waste their time. They talk about feelings directly, show interest in the girl’s personality, words are often supported by actions.
For example, an adult man can give a girl a nice little thing (flowers, jewelry), since they usually have money, offer help, and try to get closer.
The power of a glance
At the moment when a person experiences this or that feeling, he unnoticeably changes his behavior. Insignificant, in small details, however, if you look closely, you can see them.
You can tell that a person likes us even by looking at us. If they look at you furtively, they quickly look away. At such moments, people experience possible failure, they do not know the response and therefore are in no hurry to take the first steps. Some still dare to meet the gaze of the object of sympathy, but there is no hint of negative emotions or hostility in their eyes.
Men and women look at the person they like differently. If we talk about the stronger half, then they are not afraid of making eye contact; after examining the face, they lower their gaze to examine the area of the chest and hips, so to speak, to evaluate the woman completely.
For the weaker half of humanity, signs of sympathy are something like voyeurism. A woman watches a man when he does not see her. For her, meeting eyes is both exciting and very important. This is why girls usually start looking up, as if anticipating a special moment.
How to show affection correctly
Showing sympathy can be easy and difficult at the same time, because you can inadvertently hurt a person’s feelings or encroach on his personal space. To properly show sympathy you will need:
- Verbally express a kind attitude towards a person, for example, “What I really like about you is your ability to quickly find a way out of difficult situations” or “You have proven yourself to be a great leader.”
- Pay attention to small details more often, people really like it. It's not enough to just say, "I like your new hairstyle." It would be much more successful to answer: “Your new hairstyle suits you very well, especially the hair color, it harmonizes perfectly with your makeup.”
- Timely notice and approve of a person’s actions, for example, “I like your erudition, because I can talk to you about absolutely any topic.”
- A person’s positive quality must correspond to reality; there is no need to try to embellish it.
- You shouldn’t say too banal things or repeat the same compliment over and over again. A person may get tired of this and think that they are simply making fun of him.
- Try to express sympathy as unambiguously as possible, so that it cannot be interpreted in two ways.
- Sometimes it’s enough just to say: “I really like you.”
Thank you for reading the article. How do you usually show sympathy? How often do they admit it to you? Have there been any funny or unusual incidents in your life? Let's talk about this topic in the comments.
Save the article so as not to lose it, share it with friends and family. Human relationships are built on warm feelings and sympathy, so you need to be able to show it correctly.
conclusions
You need to understand that sympathy is a feeling thanks to which we can exist favorably in society, make acquaintances, partnerships and friendships. This is the basis for falling in love and love.
To feel more confident and comfortable, you need to be able to express yourself, present yourself, and make people sympathize. But this can only be achieved by remaining yourself, developing positive qualities in yourself, such as goodwill, openness, honesty, decency, reliability, and the desire to listen. And only then can we expect goodwill and a budding, strong friendship from the other person in return.
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Important Elements of Love
An analysis of the main components of true love will help you distinguish love from infatuation.
Deep and genuine feelings are based on:
loyalty;
In sympathy there is only physical attraction and loyalty, but there is no open communication and mutual understanding. Falling in love involves passion and frankness, but if partners do not make efforts to overcome difficulties and remain faithful to each other, then over time it will pass.