There's nothing worse than missing the guy who dumped you. You feel as if someone has ripped your heart out of your chest, and an eternal emptiness has settled inside.
When you miss him, it may seem like the sun has stopped shining and only dark storm clouds will accompany your sad and miserable existence.
But you can try 20 clever tricks to stop missing someone who doesn't deserve you.
And you know, the guy may not return to you, but the sun above your head will definitely shine again.
What are the consequences of such nostalgia?
When you miss, you don’t just remember someone who was dear to you. Every day you torment yourself with memories of the past, lost opportunities, unfulfilled hopes, blame yourself for the failure of your love story, belittle your dignity, engage in self-flagellation. This period cannot pass without leaving a trace.
There are several common consequences of such nostalgia. Firstly, these are nervous disorders due to the fact that you miss your ex-boyfriend. Daily suffering torments and devastates everyone. You are torturing yourself and your body, which is trying to defend itself and is working at the limit of its moral and physical resources.
Thoughts about failed happiness and lost love often lead to depression.
Happiness is the most important thing for a person. His loss deprives life of color, the face of smiles, the heart of the opportunity to love another. After all, when you miss your ex-man, you don’t need new ones. “I miss him, but I don’t deserve him,” women often say these words to themselves.
This way they develop low self-esteem.
This will also affect you if every day you think about how to get back to your ex-boyfriend, remember how good it was for you and how you did not keep your love. After all, those who miss relationships most often are the ones who cared most about them. Closedness, unsociability, and inability to establish new relationships will develop.
If you think every day about the one you loved so selflessly and unrequitedly, other people and events in your life will gradually lose their significance.
Thus, you create a vicious circle - you cannot make new friends, you do not want to communicate, develop and, in the end, even live. Loneliness and longing for the past are the worst combination.
Deleting all his contacts
First of all, you should delete all his phone numbers, so that in moments of weakness you don’t break down and call him, and don’t say the word “I miss you” to your ex. Next, you should remove him from your friends list on all social networks so that you will not be able to write to him.
It is recommended to delete his friends by pressing the Delete key. Because photos of them together may periodically appear in the event feed. And this, at least at first, is not at all pleasant to see. And besides, you will want to find out from them how he is, where and what he does. And this is strictly prohibited.
Communicate with people
Don't sit at home, meet new people, make friends. You should not register on dating sites and look for a new gentleman right away. But, definitely, you shouldn’t stay at home for days, eating stress and ignoring everything around you.
Meeting new people will help you overcome lack of attention because you will be too busy exploring people and getting to know each other. By filling your life with positive energy, you can stop remembering your past relationships. After all, if you both had never broken up, you wouldn't be having these new, amazing experiences right now.
We destroy all his gifts
Methods for destroying gifts can be different: you can burn them, especially if they are photos of you and him together, throw them away if, for example, it was some kind of teddy bear, or sell it if, for example, it was some kind of jewelry.
The most important thing is to just get rid of all this and as soon as possible, in order to get the opportunity to start a new life, but without this person.
Talk to someone
You shouldn't keep all your emotions to yourself. Be sure to speak out to your friend, mother, sister, or make an appointment with a psychologist. Therapy can help you if you are struggling to recover from a breakup.
Long-term relationships can be just as destructive as marriages, especially if you were living together and planning a future.
Seeing a therapist does not make you “crazy,” although many people have such stereotypes. A psychologist will help you analyze your feelings and guide you on the right healing path.
A toxic partner made you believe that no one else would like you.
If you were emotionally abused, your partner may have undermined your self-esteem to the point that you began to believe that no one else would find you desirable or attractive. If you have a low opinion of yourself, you are bound to give in to the idea that you will be alone if you lose your partner.
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You need to remind yourself that you are good enough, worthy of love, and the cruel things your ex-partner said only reflect his negative essence, and do not in any way characterize your appearance or character. People who resort to violence undermine their victims' self-esteem because it allows them to control them.
My story is not an indicator
My husband and I have been married for over 15 years. We didn’t get divorced, but, rewinding five years ago, I remember... One day we broke up. I kicked him out of the house. His mother quarreled between us, but she later reconciled us. I can't speak badly about her. She’s not bad overall, but she’s a sort of “commander in a skirt”, accustomed to controlling the lives of everyone around her and dictating her own rules. I'm tired of living according to her orders. A high-quality scandal emerged. The husband defended his mother (and the son could not have done otherwise). I shouted: “get away from her.” He packed up and left (proud).
We lived apart for six months. I never decided to file for divorce. At first it was just laziness, then melancholy and doubts set in. To be more precise, I started “howling” after a week of separation. Why did I miss you so terribly:
- I'm so used to sleeping with him that I can't sleep when he's not around. I need to feel the warmth of his body with at least the ring toe of my left foot. Otherwise, I feel cold and uncomfortable in bed, and sleep does not want to alleviate my suffering. For the first seven days, I selflessly hugged the teddy bear and closed my eyes, unable to admit defeat. Then I tried to tire myself out during the day so that I would collapse from fatigue and fall asleep only after touching my head to the pillow.
- We have two wonderful daughters and the eldest is his miniature copy. The similarity is expressed in everything - appearance, habits, manner of speaking, taste preferences. It was hard to see him every day and realize that it wasn't really him.
- I came across his image not only in my daughter, but in everything... Aquarium - since childhood, he dreamed of having fish and observing their lives. When he grew up, he gave it to his daughter, who at the age of eight discovered a similar dream. His things, he never bothered to take them all - books, a favorite mug, some tools, a forgotten sock under the sofa, headphones, shared photographs... Even the linoleum on the floor, which we picked up for so long, and then laid together after swimming in dust like sparrows. Everything reminded me of him.
I survived for six months (proud). Then my mother-in-law “suddenly” became very ill and needed injections. She demanded me specifically, saying that she didn’t trust paid nurses, it was a shame to be naked in front of her son, and her second daughter-in-law’s hands were growing out of the wrong place. Over the phone, my mother-in-law pressed me for pity and promised not to discuss our problem. I gave up. He picked me up by car and brought me back home. In general, we made peace, and his mother’s illness turned out to be a fiction, but the vitamin complex did not cause harm.
So why? I missed him like air - this is reason No. 1. But my story is not an indicator, because we never divorced. Let's continue to try to find out the reasons for longing for an ex-husband after a divorce, analyzing the stories of women I know who crossed the line that I had not overcome and put an official end to the marital relationship, but did not stop being bored.
How to forget if I miss my ex
The fact that you are able to honestly say to yourself, “Yes, I miss my ex-boyfriend,” is actually a very good thing. After all, being honest with yourself is the first step to solving a problem.
However, don't dwell on the fact that you're bored. After all, you broke up for a reason. All you have to do is remember the reason for these events. Perhaps this person is not worth your suffering at all. Try to think not only about the positive aspects of your relationship, but also about the negative ones. In a fit of emotion, people often forget what led them to such a situation.
It is impossible to live in the past; every person deserves a future.
You deserve happiness, love and great experiences. If positive emotions really prevailed in your relationship with your ex-boyfriend, you should treat this as a pleasant story from life, because not everyone can boast of such memories.
Appreciate your life, yourself and those who remain close to you.
Cherish every moment, don't waste time on tears and suffering. Look at those who are with you now and thank them for their loyalty. Look for new friends, appreciate old ones and just love life.
Olga F.
Find a hobby
If you keep yourself busy, you will forget about the breakup. You feel hurt and lonely partly because you are bored. If you throw yourself into work, cleaning or hobbies, you can rehabilitate yourself.
Healing may take some time, so focusing on an activity and focusing on yourself is a great way to overcome the pain of not having your ex in your life.
Start writing, reading, drawing or playing video games, running, dancing and playing the guitar again. If you've ever wanted to learn new skills, now is the perfect time to do so. Try something you've never done before, just because you're free. Find a new hobby that you enjoy. Keeping yourself busy will distract you from bad thoughts and memories.
Leave your ex alone
It may be tempting to send your ex a funny picture or a photo you suddenly found on your laptop, an email, or a message on instant messenger. But resist your urge! If you want to be nostalgic together, or if you think there's a chance of getting back together, don't bombard your man with messages and notifications, acting like you're still dating.
He may need time to sort out his feelings after a breakup, and he won't be able to do that if he feels like you're constantly behind him. So, even if you want him to see a photo of you hugging, resist the urge. If he is ready to return to you, renewing the relationship, he will do this without your reminders of himself.
