How to bring passion back into a relationship. 10 proven ways to revive even long-cooled feelings

September 18, 2019FamilyPusha Ko03.3k.

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It often happens that over time, the spark in a couple's relationship fades. There is no more hot sex and wild craving for each other.

Surprises, breakfasts with bouquets of flowers and coffee in bed went somewhere. The romance has disappeared. Cooling in relationships.

Intimacy has become familiar, its scenario is expected. Boring. The girl, of course, worries: what’s wrong?

Or she thinks that he turned out to be not at all who she thought he was. She thinks she was wrong. And the search begins for the answer to the question: how to return passion to your relationship with your husband?

• So, how to get away from everyday life and bring passion back into your relationship?
• Remember, you need and can communicate with a man!
• Be sure to adequately perceive the truth!
• How to bring back passion with your husband? Everything depends only on you
• In the beginning you were different...
• Remember, you influence each other
• And again spring, and again love
• Is wearing second-hand clothes at home a relic of the past?
• Unusual gifts. Romantic weekends, dates at night on the seashore
• Allow yourself and your man more
• Bring quality time together back into your relationship
• Passion is flirting, sex!
• Is there a chance to bring back the passion in a relationship?
• psiho-logika.com has an article that you need to read! Choose and read!

Remember, you need and can communicate with a man!

You voluntarily entered into a relationship, somehow communicated all the time. But for some reason you are afraid like fire to talk to a man about what worries you. With my man.

Why? What are you afraid of? That he won’t understand you and will reject you?

Tell your man: “Dear, I am grateful to you for everything that we had and have. Everything is fine, everything suits me, except for a small nuance. I'm worried that something has apparently changed a little. You stopped giving me little gifts/ kissing me before leaving for work, taking me to the movies and restaurants...

What has changed, what is wrong? All this was there before, but now it is not. I'm worried, I'm confused. Give me advice. What am I doing wrong and how can I change it, how can I get it all back? What do I need to do?

Believe me, it's quite simple, but it's an effective way. Don't be afraid to make contact. Don't hide behind a stone wall and push yourself further.

Where love begins - 7 stages of relationships

At the beginning of the article, I promised to tell you about at what stage of a relationship, contrary to stereotypes, love actually begins. Relationships go through seven stages, and love begins at the very end. So, there are seven stages that any relationship inevitably goes through:

Stage #1: Falling in love

This is that sweet candy-bouquet period that people call love. Poems have been written about him, songs have been sung, films have been made and books have been written. During this period, the mind is clouded by a surge of hormones, you are in euphoria and are not able to look at your partner sensibly and objectively. This period lasts 1-3 years. Typically, the longer you don't live together, the longer it lasts. This surge of hormones and the resulting euphoria were not invented by chance by nature: after all, if we could immediately soberly see a loved one with all his shortcomings, we would create families much less, and procreation would become a rarity.

Stage #2: Satiety

The grinding is over, and you see that your partner has shortcomings. Usually it is at this stage that you already begin to think: “How to bring passion back into the relationship? It seems love has passed." But in fact, it is still quite far away! Typically, the second stage occurs after two people start living together. Now you not only notice flaws, but you can see them up close. This is the time of the first disappointments.

Stage #3: Disgust

Most couples separate at this stage. This is the beginning of the first quarrels, accompanied by a concentration on the partner’s shortcomings. It may seem to you that there is absolutely nothing good about it. To get through this period and move on, remember the mirror rule. Any conflict with another person is always, absolutely always a conflict with oneself. Every time you want to quarrel, first think about why you want to quarrel with yourself? What need of yours have you not satisfied?

At the stage of disgust, as a rule, partners often sort things out. Read this article about how to quarrel correctly so that the conflict only leads to the development of relationships.

Stage #4: Patience

Calm, just calm. You have already passed the most difficult part, the stage of disgust, which means that your relationship may well last a lifetime. Well, or at least twenty years. During the patience stage, you both learn to be more comfortable with each other's shortcomings and come to terms with some of them. Your relationship is developing and will soon become love. You are already great!

Stage #5: Respect

Finally, you begin to understand that relationships are built on efforts on the part of both, and you learn to make your own efforts to maintain them. Not everyone reaches this stage. Moreover, many couples live their entire lives in the previous stage. Most people never think about working on themselves and do not shift their focus to themselves. Such people think that everyone around them owes them and everyone except them is to blame. But those who decide to grow up and take responsibility for conflicts reach this stage and understand what love is.

At this stage, people begin to pay attention to what the partner wants. And they try to satisfy each other's needs.

Stage #6: Friendship

You have learned to understand each other, support, communicate. You really feel good together. You trust and are grateful for a lot to your partner. You have learned to please each other. You have become dear to each other. Your partner is your true friend.

Stage #7: Love

Congratulations! You have reached the finish line. And at the finish line, love begins. To reach it, you need to be mature people. Learn to quarrel correctly, listen to each other. Then start meeting the needs of others. Then make friends. Throughout all these stages you learn to serve each other. If you can pacify your pride and begin to serve your partner, then love can gradually come into your life.

The duration of the relationship stages is individual for each couple. The more mature and aware people enter into relationships, the faster they go through all stages.

Read about how to go through all seven stages, how to communicate, quarrel, give, receive, serve and thank correctly in articles about the psychology of relationships and the psychology of men in relationships. Life is a constant work on yourself. If you refuse to work, life will go completely differently than you originally intended. So take it into your own hands. And you can understand what is happening in your relationship, where it leads and how, if necessary, to give it a different direction, in a consultation on Skype.

How to bring back passion with your husband? Everything depends only on you

It depends on you, what your relationship will be like, whether the man will be honest, whether he will want to be open with you

Begin with yourself. A smart woman takes care of herself. She upgrades not a man, but herself. It all starts with you. Begin with yourself. And keep the focus on yourself. You get what you get for it.

In the beginning you were different...

Ask yourself the question: “How can I become that woman around whom there will always be a holiday? Which man will want to protect, please, surprise? Who will want to take care of?”

Show passion for yourself

When partners want to reignite passion in a relationship, they need to fill their own lives and themselves with passion. As psychologist and writer Esther Perel writes in the book “Reproduction in Captivity. How to reconcile eroticism and everyday life,” the other half experiences the greatest attraction to a partner when he is completely absorbed in what he loves.

Ask yourself questions:

1. What is my attitude towards myself?
2. Is my life boring and gloomy or filled with passion?
3. Do I love myself?

Analyze what causes dissatisfaction in life and what gives true pleasure. Light yourself up from the inside:

1. Start changing your body. Among the many ways (yoga, running, breathing techniques, dancing, etc.), choose the one that brings you pleasure. The pleasure that comes from working with the body saturates the human body with joy hormones and generates a lot of energy.
2. Find something you are passionate about. Get pleasure from your hobby, and it will become the key to sexual desire as well.
3. Live in harmony with your own inner world, make sure that life is in full swing, gives pleasure, and is full of events and impressions.

Meetings at a hotel, a beautiful image, lace underwear, expensive gifts and other artificial ways of reviving passion actually have little effect on the internal attitude towards oneself and one’s partner. Learn to give yourself what you want to receive from your lover, and passion will definitely flare up and flare up with renewed vigor.

How a couple can ignite passion in a relationship: Pixabay

Allow yourself and your man more

To maintain passion in a marriage, you don't need to spend all your free time together. You simply stop appreciating each other. Breakups are useful for short periods of time.

Walking with girlfriends and watching football with friends is beneficial. It is useful to go away on vacation sometimes separately. Have hobbies that your man does not have, and vice versa.

A man cannot be interested in you and he will not be interested in you if you are too close. No, that's good. But there must be a golden mean in everything.

Let him miss you. Let him and yourself develop not only together, but also separately, give everyone personal space. Then interest will be awakened. You will begin to study each other again. Separate time is useful.

Main reasons for loss of passion

So, what are the main reasons for losing passion?

1. Accumulated grievances - if you have been in a relationship for a long time, or, moreover, in marriage, then you and your partner have definitely had time to quarrel more than once. And every quarrel, drop by drop, fills the lake of misunderstandings, reproaches and resentments. At some point there are so many of them that there is no room left for attraction. What to do? Talk calmly with your loved one, try to dot all the i's and let go of grievances.
2. Selfishness - many women (and men too) only know how to take, without giving anything in return. They receive courtship, care, and feel love and passion coming from their partner. But they are not ready to offer the same thing. They only allow themselves to be loved, but do not love in return. At some point, the giving party may get tired of this and he (she) will simply break off the painful connection that brings him nothing.
3. Lack of romance - if at the beginning the relationship was like an adventure that lovers live together every day, then over time they can hardly calmly endure each other’s company. Interaction becomes an obligation. Sex, talking, kissing are equivalent to washing dishes or walking the dog. Spontaneity disappears. A man stops giving his woman flowers, and she, in turn, no longer calls him at work to tell him about her feelings.
4. Loss of external attractiveness is common for couples who have been together for a long time. He gained weight and lost his hair. She stopped taking care of herself due to the enormous workload at home. And there is no physical attraction to each other.

Passion is flirting, sex!

Maybe you’ve already forgotten what it’s like to flirt? Be the first to start. Flirt with your man, seduce, entice.

Passion fades - and sex is no longer the same. Not the same as it was. Think about how you can make the process more interesting and hotter. You are a woman, remember this. In the bustle of everyday and work problems, you get tired and forget it.

Remember and feel what it’s like to be feminine and desirable, to be sexy and loved.

Try to bring something new to sex. Poses, places. Change the script. Do something unusual for you. Have romantic dinners and sexy surprises.

Be open with your partner

Since the first meeting in a long-term relationship, partners' sexual preferences may have changed. Often people themselves cannot determine exactly what turns them on and what they want in sex.

Re-learn sex. According to Psychologies, sexual partners need to learn to talk about erotic desires. Couples can increase attraction, restore passion, and take their relationship to the next level by:

• During intimacy, they take turns exploring themselves. Forget about erogenous zones and experiment with non-sexual parts of the body - the soles of your feet or the back of your head;
• concentrate on sensory sensations;
• try new caresses, look for sensitive points on the body;
• They will describe in detail to their partner their feelings during foreplay and sex.

This technique will allow you to immerse yourself in your partner’s emotional experiences and understand your own feelings.

It is important that partners are genuinely interested in emotional honesty. Learning to describe your sexual sensations and emotions is difficult. Introduce the practice gently and gradually. Over time, through intimacy, you will get the opportunity to get to know your true self.

Redirect energy.

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Negative emotions can be expressed in different ways. Someone breaks plates, throws things, screams, punches the wall. Others leave, discharging their anger elsewhere. And only a few redirect irritation or anger into sexual energy. No matter how trivial sex may be in solving problems, it really helps to get rid of accumulated negativity, get more vivid impressions in bed, and connect intense emotions with a partner.

Of course, this method does not solve the essence of all conflicts or difficulties, but it helps to calm down, tuning in to overcome obstacles. After a stormy, pleasant night, lovers are more likely to want to listen to each other, make mutual compromises, and forgive mistakes.

Take the test: Do I love him?

Do romantic things.

An atmosphere of romance should reign in your home. Try to make it clean and pleasant to be at home. Make sure there is fresh linen in the bedroom. If in your case these are her responsibilities, then help at least in small ways to make her feel comfortable.

Invite her on dates at least once every two weeks. A cinema, theater, restaurant or just a cozy evening at home with a delicious dinner and a bottle of wine will create the right atmosphere and set you in the right mood;

Don't forget about gentlemanly behavior. Try to always open the door for her, pull up a chair, offer your hand. It is on such little things that relationships are built.

Look at your partner through someone else's eyes.

Everyday life, constant presence, predictability of a loved one, his learned habits, character make him lose the acuity of feelings. It seems that there is love or the same affection, but it’s still not the same, it doesn’t sparkle.

To remedy the situation, you can go with your partner to an event in which other people, preferably acquaintances, will be involved. When he/she communicates with them, buys something, pays for parking, places an order, generally does something on his/her own, all you need to do is look at him/her from the outside, with different eyes. To do this, it is better to imagine each other as strangers. This step will allow you to re-see the attractive features in your loved one, “restart” your interest in him, and recognize previously unnoticed qualities.

Work on your relationships.

If you want to maintain normal sexual relationships, you will always have to work at it. It’s better if the two of you pay a lot of attention to this issue.

There are several ways to help you with this:

• talk to your girlfriend. Be open, listen, and express your opinion sincerely. Make sure you are the first person she wants to talk to if something happens to her;
• tell her how much she means to you, that only she can make you so happy.

How to ignite passion 8 tips: appearance, experiments, feminine tricks

The wife has a wide range of tools at her disposal that will allow her to refresh her relationship and bring novelty and spontaneity into it. Men get tired of routine and monotony, so experiments always excite the stronger sex and light a spark. It’s worth trying to hit on several fronts at the same time, to become unpredictable for him in a good way.

Candles, roses, beautiful lingerie

It is mistakenly believed that only girls need romance, but surveys of the male population have revealed that guys like it no less. An appropriate atmosphere will help to revive the atmosphere in the marital bedroom: flower petals scattered on the floor and bed, the fragrance of scented candles, light music are much more attractive than the dull fussing under the blanket.

Light illumination (garland, night light) will allow a man to receive visual pleasure from contemplating the process. Don't forget about an attractive night outfit. A corset, stockings, a sexy translucent nightgown, an erotic lingerie set - as old as time, but it works perfectly.

Romantic dinner for two

A perfect start to a hot night. The main thing is to prepare light meals so that after eating you don’t feel sleepy. A bottle of your favorite wine or champagne would be appropriate. You can add natural aphrodisiacs to the menu: pumpkin seeds, walnuts, honey, ginger root, artichokes, dark chocolate, pomegranate and, of course, seafood (mussels, oysters, squid).

Remember all

Joint viewing of photographs and videos capturing happy moments of trips, vacations, significant acquisitions, and the birth of children brings us incredibly closer together. Such memories allow you to re-immerse yourself in an atmosphere of joy. It is worth remembering funny situations, funny incidents that happened to a married couple - a lot of positive emotions are guaranteed.

Allow yourself bold experiments

During the period of resuscitation of passion, you should not be afraid to move away from stereotyped solutions. You can experiment with anything - from your own image (new haircut, unusual makeup, clothing style) to behavior and places where you can indulge in love. A man is pleasantly surprised by a woman’s initiative from a partner who is not typical of this

Don't mix sex and life

You need to learn to separate routine matters from your intimate life. Constantly having sex strictly in the bedroom with the lights off at the same time (when the children are sleeping) turns passionate contact into a duty.

Try couples dancing.

The more passionate and at the same time smooth the dancing, the better. Waltz, hip-hop, paso doble or boogie-woogie are unlikely to cause a sensual fusion, although they can also amuse and force the dancers to work together. But tango, rumba, bachata, kizomba will add passion and eroticism to the movements.

You can sign up for special group courses, hire a choreographer, or even just use the Internet to learn a dance style through videos on YouTube.

Take a sexuality test

Do you want a decent man? Then remember this phrase: “I am grateful to you, thank you.”

And try to do this with every man you interact with, even for every little thing, even for what they already do for you. They already give you flowers, another flower - thank you for it. The door was opened for you. The man even just tried to help, but you refused his help, thank him for trying to help. Thank you for your intention to help you. Someone solved a problem for you, gave you a gift, did something, thank you for every little thing. Someone just smiled at you, wished you a good day, gave you a compliment - thank you. It is important. Many girls don’t know how to do this, they neglect it. They think what difference does it make, it’s not that important, it’s a trifle. It is very important.

Do you want to know what a man needs to make you happy? Sign up for a free online course Man: honest instructions

Psychologist's advice

Psychologists definitely won’t help from a distance and without knowing the nature of your relationship. Seek professional help if you understand that you can’t handle it on your own. You can sign up and come for a consultation individually or with a partner.

You need to know: from a psychological point of view, the moment of disappearance of passion is inevitable . We must be prepared for it and resolve the difficulties that arise together.

What not to do

Do not try to solve other problems with the help of sex, manipulate or force your loved one.

Your thoughts and actions should be sincere and aimed at maintaining healthy relationships. Don't make passion an end in itself. If for some reason you don’t want to go to bed with your significant other, first sort yourself out.

Manipulating a spouse through the bed is absolutely contraindicated in any relationship. Photo: https://media-cdn.t24.com.tr

Causes of fading feelings

Many women are killed by everyday life. Cleaning the house and the daily hassle of preparing dinner and raising children turns the girl into a downtrodden creature who wants only one thing - to rest and go to bed. There is simply no time or desire left for romantic caresses. Does your boyfriend not understand this? The solution is still the same - frank conversation!

If you live together, distribute household responsibilities equally. You can entrust a man with any housework and, believe me, he can easily cope with it in anticipation of the upcoming romantic night. An adult man can wash the dishes and put away his clothes.

Entrust household chores to children more often. Send them on vacation to grandma, having a night of romance and love with your husband. Show your man your love without being shy. He will appreciate your impulses and take the initiative in the relationship.

There are times when spouses begin to perceive mutual intimacy as a normal duty. Sex becomes a chore that you are forced to do. The partners have studied every mole on each other's bodies and believe that they have tried everything.

Add some newness to your relationship by having a weekend alone. Wear new lace lingerie, buy sexy stockings. Try role-playing games or allow your partner to do something forbidden. Make passion the most important thing in your life together and awaken the hunter in your man.

Men love to dominate in relationships. Show feminine cunning and play up any situation in such a way that your guy feels like he’s in charge. Show your weakness and ask him for protection. This will add zest to your relationship and add a man’s self-confidence and strength.

What kind of sex do different zodiac signs want?

What mistakes contribute to the disappearance of passion?

Agree, a full-fledged relationship without passion is impossible. Passion is one of those threads that keeps two people together. That’s why it’s so important to preserve and maintain it throughout your life.

But often spouses make mistakes that kill passion and can even lead to divorce:

• underestimate the seriousness of existing problems;
• ignore the interests and needs of their partner;
• trying to hush up conflicts;
• refuse everything new;
• remain conservative in expressing feelings;
• accumulate grievances and do not try to forgive.

There can be many mistakes, but the main one is the unwillingness to fight to return the passion that disappears from the relationship.

Resume tactile contact.

For “cooled down” partners, the number of kisses, hugs, generally simple touches, and basic physical caresses is noticeably reduced. If there is no passion, then you don’t want to touch again, right? But what if we go the opposite way: first establish physical contact, and then receive the accompanying emotions?

Massages, stroking the cheek, walking hand in hand, hugging from the back, even the most banal tickling already contribute to rapprochement. And if you add playfulness, flirting, teasing, and passion to the movements, the effect will become noticeably brighter.

Meet on neutral territory.

Home comfort, native walls, the warmth of the family hearth, of course, attract and calm, but over time they eradicate the severity of feelings. But an apartment rented for a day, a hotel room, a rented car, a weekend in a hunting lodge or a country cottage/bungalow are the basis of romantic adventures.

Mandatory conditions are an atypical environment, complete privacy for the couple (no neighbors, calls from relatives, household duties), as well as comfort. Let it be an escape from the whole world, a loud challenge to routine, rules, standards. For a couple of days, spouses will cease to be parents, management-subordinates, and friends to others. At this time, it is better for them to remember their own “I”, emotions, focusing exclusively on relaxation, sensual pleasures, and freedom.

Problems are not always bad

Even the happiest relationships face problems. Don't view them as something that will undo all the progress you're making with your partner. Challenges are opportunities! They are your chance to grow, improve and develop relationships. Problems can be markers that show us how to repair broken relationships. Learn to see challenges for what they are and purposefully respond to them with an open mind and a sense of humor rather than fear.

Too often we avoid dealing with problems that bother us simply because we are afraid, and that is why we lose sight of them. Instead, look at the problem now while it is still manageable. Think back to your life when you were fifteen years old. What was your worst problem? And at twenty-five? Problems change because people adapt and improve. You can laugh about these old difficulties, so why not take advantage of it now? However, the ability to delve into these problems is tied to the stages of the relationship. Let's talk about them in more detail below.

Watching spicy movies.

Who said that adult films can only be watched alone? Watching such videos together will allow the couple to liberate themselves sexually, understand each other’s desires, and add a new spark to their relationship. At the beginning, you will have to agree on the genre, duration, and taboo topics of such videos. And only then will it be possible to move directly to the point. This is necessary in order to avoid quarrels and discomfort during the viewing itself, so that partners do not have to be distracted from the screen.

For those who find this method unacceptable, you can replace the 18+ film with erotica or even feature films with explicit scenes. Sometimes even a good romantic melodrama will be appropriate; if it is to your liking, it can evoke positive emotions in both viewers.

Learn to resolve conflicts!

Lack of passion and love in a relationship can often be the result of poor conflict resolution. When conflict arises between you and your partner, resolve the issue immediately without making it worse. Find a way to make it funny. What would a 15 year old say about this?

When conflict situations arise in your relationship, don't worry. It is during testing times that trust is formed, because this is when your partner needs help. This is time you can use to meet those needs. Show your partner that you can listen, empathize, and remind them why they trusted you with their feelings in the first place. Trust is the recipe to bring passion back into your relationship.

If your relationship is under pressure and you are experiencing stress, anxiety and difficulties, you are at a critical juncture. You have the opportunity to prove to your partner that he can trust you, even when things get tough. Never miss an opportunity to show that you will care for the person you love.

Learn to be mysterious and enigmatic

Contrary to popular belief, your partner doesn't have to know everything about you. You must have your secrets.

Sometimes we confuse intimacy with sharing every little thing. Yes, it creates a feeling of deep connection in your relationship. But disclosing every little detail is not necessary.

Keep in mind that secrecy helps you feel alive in a relationship. This doesn't mean you should avoid your partner. It simply means that you consciously decide what to share and what to keep to yourself.

Make sure your sex life is your only problem.

It is possible that the lack of passion is a consequence of other problems that result in this form.

You need to understand whether everything is normal in other aspects. A few points that will help you better understand what is really going on between you:

• if you feel like you are growing apart. You no longer share important, personal things. Or you're just not interested in what she does;
• if you realize that you quarrel and are depressed more than you feel happy.

Include more erotica.

Erotic correspondence can awaken dormant passion. To do this, it is better to install a new messenger, create a different email or a new profile on a social network. Firstly, it will add more playfulness, mystery, and novelty. Secondly, such a step will eliminate the risk of sending a sexual message to the wrong person.

Seductive photos, exciting videos, audio recordings of piquant desires will come in handy. The more variety the better. At the same time, you will be able to find out about your partner’s secret thoughts.