Hi all. Today I'm in a playful mood, so catch it!
I hope everything is going well: you’re not tired of envious colleagues at work who always poke their noses into your personal life, you’re not tired of stupid quarrels with your husband over the fact that he again didn’t notice the perfectly tidy apartment and the luxurious dinner on the table, and of course , you don’t really want to hide away from children who cry every now and then, begging for a new toy (it doesn’t matter - a Barbie doll or a new Playstation), you don’t get tired, you have to be happy with life 24/7, otherwise everything you have will collapse I built it with such painstaking work! Do you think so?
Stop!
You are a woman, not a robot, you have the right to emotions and if you think that everything is going wrong, it’s time to start working on it! Not happy with your relationship with your husband? It's time to make adjustments. He probably already forgot how he ran after you at the very beginning of the relationship. You forgot, right?
Years have passed, now your husband knows for sure that you are not going anywhere and it makes no difference whether he notices new underwear from Vasya Italiano or equates it to the shapeless nightie that you wore after giving birth.
- What am I supposed to do? – You ask.
Read my article, that's what! I was also in the same situation!
As you may have guessed, today we will talk about how to refresh your relationship with your husband.
First, let's figure it out, how was it before? Remember. If your husband initially didn’t pay attention and didn’t really help, and you got married solely because of a child or your first short-term love, then expecting everything to change is a little wrong. But you can try. Who will stop us? The situation looks completely different when a few years earlier your husband carried you in his arms and kissed your feet, and now he has suddenly grown cold. If this is the case, my advice will certainly help.
Mistakes girls make when restoring lost relationships
The breakup of a relationship leaves a strong emotional mark on the soul of every person.
Many girls make a lot of mistakes out of resentment:
- they try to make their ex-partner jealous by entering into a new union;
- they bombard their partner with calls and messages, literally not allowing him to breathe, which only irritates the man;
- they cause trouble for a man at work, tell him some personal things, or post unpleasant photos and videos online, thereby cutting off the path to renewing the relationship;
- many people mistakenly think that a person will change dramatically after a short break, but in practice, after two or three weeks everything repeats itself, and the couple is again on the verge of breaking up;
- girls, trying to once again win the attention and affection of their beloved, completely adapt to him, and when the goal is achieved, they again repeat their past mistakes.
What advice do they give to all women in a similar situation?
Tip 1
Change yourself. Yes, undoubtedly, we all know that the most important thing in a person is the soul, and love is able to see it even through the prism of unimaginable, and sometimes vile, shortcomings. But I don’t believe this one hundred percent: after all, a man loves with his eyes (we women love to listen, and men love to look).
And even if a young man lives with a woman who is far from the standards of beauty, talks about love every day and “no, you haven’t gained weight, dear,” he will still secretly, sometimes, when his wife is not there, dream of a fatal stripper who desires him tame.
Wait! No need to be upset! None of us looks like the charming Angelina Jolie and doesn’t spin on a pole like Charlize Theron (okay, I’ve done that before).
The main thing is to create the appearance of an ideal (here it is, our secret, our weapon). And the first thing we must do:
- Change your image (If before you were sexy and liberated, now it’s time to play a little at being a naive virgin. Can you do it? I have no doubt that yes!)
- Become more confident in yourself. Of course, this comes with great difficulty for many; it takes years to finally say: “yes, I am a queen!” However, try, because a confident woman, even if she is not Miss Universe, has a hundred times more chances to bewitch a man than a complex beauty
Tip 2
Touch your partner. Psychologists have confirmed: the more often spouses touch each other, the stronger the attachment they develop and, of course, the brighter the sex.
Sex, by the way, plays an important role in a couple: spouses must understand that if one of them cannot give his partner what he needs in sex, he will either begin to get angry and find fault with everyday trifles, or sooner or later he will leave for another partner.
Of course, there is no need to grab a man for his “closest friend” without any reason in order to strengthen your relationship (although he may like it). It’s better to take his hand, run your hand over his cheek, hug him, etc. Just show through touching all the tenderness that you have.
Tip 3
Spend more time with your man, look for common interests. Do you live together, but hardly see each other because everyone is busy with their own work? Stop! Set aside at least one day for the two of you.
You know that the closer a person is on an emotional level and the more topics of conversation you have, the faster you will become each other's best friends again, which is undoubtedly important in a relationship between two people. And yes, this means sharing his interests too. So what, tanks? And killing zombies is generally cool.
We return trusting feelings
The first stage of restoration work within the family must begin with the resuscitation of the main aspect - trust. There are several rules, following which, you can safely count on harmony and peace in marriage.
Forbidden:
- nag, criticize and challenge your husband’s actions that are not related to you;
- make performances and tantrums in his presence;
- manipulate a partner for your own benefit;
- challenge his decisions in public, expressing his superiority;
- blame your husband for all the problems of the family, the world and your own sense of self;
- give ultimatums, threaten divorce/take away children/commit suicide;
- remember past grievances, sins and skeletons in the closet;
- disturb the peace and independence of a loved one;
- punish by ignoring, lack of sex, cooking, washing;
- leaving the house with things without warning;
- put relatives in your defense.
Reviews
The opinions of those who are faced with the problem of cooling and relationships differ. A number of opponents believe that it is impossible to return to the past , since the reasons for the discord are, as a rule, quite serious. Temporary reconciliation does not last long, then everything comes back. And it comes at the price of mutual concessions and compromises.
There are also those who are sure that if the basis of the relationship was love, everything can be returned. Moreover, not only women, but also men are ready to work in this aspect. As it turns out, they are extremely reluctant to break up. And new relationships outside the couple are found only in order to compensate for the missing moments in the marriage. In their opinion, if a wife tries to become for a man not only the mother of his children, but also a friend and lover, they willingly meet him halfway.
Help from professionals, or not just the work of lawyers
So, the birthday is coming and you have met again. Don’t rush to move to a new level, remember yourself in the romantic period for the first time, “bring out” the best of the best from it. Let the relationship develop gradually, enjoying every meeting, every moment and plans for the future.
And these plans may include... a second wedding! No, you shouldn’t smile, because this is a completely understandable desire. However, what is better to do: just sign again or start the procedure for restoring a previously broken marriage? Here, each couple should decide this issue independently, but if there is no information, it is better to seek advice from an experienced lawyer. He will give complete information on the issue - and you will make a decision!
But a lawyer is not the only specialist who can help yesterday’s family recover. Practical help from a psychologist will really help make new relationships bright, interesting, and strong. And this is all for decades!
Use the power of your mind to restore your relationship
Sometimes we underestimate ourselves, considering working with thinking to be the lot of the elite. But thousands of examples from the lives of ordinary people prove that we are all endowed with the gift of controlling reality with the power of our thoughts. This gift just needs to be recognized and diligently developed through mental exercises.
This blog contains and is constantly expanding a collection of techniques for all occasions, including for restoring relationships. Please choose what is close to you, apply and share your results in the comments under the articles. Your feedback is the best proof of the power and effectiveness of such a universal tool as the power of thought.
Advice from a psychologist: how to avoid divorce and improve relationships with your husband
1.
Find common interests. Most likely, your couple is overwhelmed by everyday life and financial worries, but it will be great if you diversify all this with truly exciting hobbies. You can start skiing or rollerblading, go to a shooting club, play sports together, and the like.
2.
Spend time together more often. Sometimes it is important to give your attention exclusively to each other. This is not about sending the child to grandma and lying down in front of the TV (although this can sometimes be greatly missed). Treat yourself to an unforgettable evening - dinner in the bath, spa treatments, erotic massage and much more.
3.
Give each other unexpected and pleasant gifts and surprises, guess wishes, offer unusual pastimes, improve yourself physically and spiritually.
4.
Be one team. First of all, each other’s opinions regarding situations that affected your young family should be important to you. Do not involve older relatives, children, or friends in solving problems. This way you can maintain trust and respect.
Why there is a need to refresh (renew) relationships in a couple: possible reasons
If we talk about marital relationships, the vast majority of couples who have lived together for more than 10 years cite domestic problems as the main cause of conflict. Mutual reproaches and dissatisfaction with the situation make it difficult to find a compromise - the relationship deteriorates and moves into another phase.
In addition to everyday life, common reasons for cooling between partners are:
- lack of tenderness, mutual expression of care for each other;
- financial problems;
- low-quality sex;
- stress, fatigue;
- reluctance to develop and work on relationships;
- irrational distribution of responsibilities.
Love notes
Little cute notes will help make the spouses’ relationship a little brighter. Such a display of tenderness will make even the most serious man smile. Having seen a note in the morning with the inscription “Darling, you are the best.” I love you incredibly much,” the man will spend the whole day in a good romantic mood. How nice will it be for a woman to see a note that says that she is the most beautiful and desirable?! The power of love notes cannot be underestimated and they are a great way to bring romance into a marital relationship.
