More than feelings: 7 things in relationships that are perhaps even more important than love

Relationships from a woman’s perspective: “the main thing is that we love each other, and everything else around is unimportant. We will solve everything and overcome everything.” Sometimes emotions go so high that there is another overkill - “my love is enough for both of us” - this is already an emotional dependence that destroys both in a partnership. However, there are certain things that partners need besides love. Let's figure out what exactly it is. So:

Initiative and entrepreneurship

These are great qualities. An active, purposeful man will be able not only to ensure the financial well-being of his family, but also to cope with the various tasks that life constantly poses to us. An enterprising person does not give in to circumstances, does not become discouraged, does not go with the flow - he acts. Sometimes it can even scare us women. We might prefer to hide from this problem. However, the “ostrich” method will not help us - we will have to learn to support our enterprising man. After all, even the strongest need support.

Self-sufficiency

This quality seems controversial. Why does a self-sufficient man need a family? If his own company is enough for him. However, everything is not so simple. A self-sufficient person is a self-confident person who independently chooses his own path in life and does not allow himself to be manipulated. He is the master of his life. Yes, for a woman who wants to manipulate her husband according to her own understanding, such a man is definitely not suitable. But the one who wants a strong and confident person next to her, capable of taking responsibility for the family and solving problems on her own, will be next to him as if behind a stone wall. Another thing is that such a man must constantly live up to...

Generosity and generosity

It is unlikely that anyone will want to marry Plyushkin, even despite all his wealth. Greed and stinginess turn a woman away from a potential husband candidate already in the first stages of a relationship: “Darling, could you pay for us - my finances are a little tight...” Chocolate and cloves for the entire candy-bouquet period - even the most ascetic ladies will not like this. And vice versa, the generosity of a man (to the extent of his financial capabilities) will not leave any woman indifferent. A generous attitude towards your beloved is another quality that is very valuable in marriage. After all, we are not always bunnies... And then we ourselves are very ashamed. But if a man sometimes treats our whims generously and condescendingly, it’s worth a lot!

Women's point of view

Women, unlike men, seek self-realization . This is the purpose of the fair sex: to see a reflection of themselves in their chosen ones. It is important for them to succeed not just as a person, but as a wife, lover, mother. Many of them imagine success in life solely through “belonging to a couple.” This is why society has a persistently negative or pitiful attitude towards single people who have not found a husband or friend. They are labeled as “old maid” and seem to be excluded from public life. On the contrary, having a life partner seems to raise them in their own eyes and make them more successful.

An important quality that reflects the view of most women on relationships is the desire for stability . The notorious confidence in the future haunts beautiful ladies. Men can sneer about this for a long time, but the facts are eloquent: women want a stable relationship that gives them the opportunity to make plans for a future together.

The reliability of the chosen one and the ability to rely on him in difficult times are also very important for women who experience melancholy, mixed with despair, from the need to always be strong in everything. Sometimes even iron ladies want to feel fragile and defenseless, to feel male care and attention.

If men strive for emotionally stable unions, then many women see them as a volcano of passions. They are incomprehensible and offended by the apparent male coldness, while they would like maximum emotional return , warmth and expression of feelings. To get their chosen one to show emotions, they like to throw tantrums and stormy showdowns. Men find this behavior unacceptable. Meanwhile, there is a proven way to avoid female scandals and accusations of callousness - to show attention and sensitivity .

Resilience and fortitude

For many women, the first reaction to unexpected unpleasant news is very emotional. Simply put, we panic. Or into a stupor. Yes, then, of course, we pull ourselves together and begin to act. But imagine if there is a panicking and trembling man next to us? This is a real nightmare!

It is the man who should always try to maintain presence of mind and be a strong support for the family. At least in appearance!

Even if his emotions are raging inside... What we see is enough for us!

Intelligence and broad outlook

Firstly, it’s always interesting to be with such a person. Communication with him fills and contributes to our development. Secondly, a person who has knowledge in various fields has much more abilities and opportunities to solve various tasks and problems in family life - from repairing an electrical appliance to independently resolving legal issues. Thirdly, a truly smart (and not just well-read) man understands a woman much better. And, as my mother likes to say: “You can always come to an agreement with a smart person!” This is another significant plus.

Responsibility

Another most important quality of a man in the family. Because marriage is a responsibility. For the family, for its well-being, for myself. Before marriage, pay attention to how a person fulfills his obligations to you, to his loved ones, to friends and employers. If you see that a person approaches all tasks seriously and responsibly, this is most likely how he will behave in the family. By the way, some young ladies may be scared off by such a man: “He is so correct, so serious! It's boring!" This is due to their lack of knowledge.

Don't cling to a man

Probably, self-esteem is even the first thing to start with on the list of qualities. If you look more closely at all the girls who are lucky in love, you will notice that they never cling, never ask for anything, which is why men themselves give them plenty of everything - love, attention or more material things.

Such women are easily able to break away even from their beloved man, as soon as they begin to love them less. They don’t create illusions, don’t cling, just leave!

You look at her and you understand that no one owes her anything, she is lightness itself with no complaints about a man. And this makes him want to lay the moon at her feet! But if you beg and pull everything, a man wants to give less and less. That's the whole difference.

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Radiate femininity

Femininity has recently been turned into something perverted. Anyone who adheres to the idea that a woman must definitely wear a skirt, have long hair, and long nails understands nothing at all about femininity.

Femininity is not in skirts. And it’s a pity for those women who are able to find their femininity only by putting on some kind of symbolic outfit.

Femininity is not what you look like, but what you bring to the world and what you can offer your man. If you offer your wardrobe with skirts, then most likely you will remain a one-time woman.

Femininity is not a demonstration of weakness. It is a big misconception that someone actually needs a weak woman. You cannot interest anyone in weakness or need. No one will love you for your defenselessness and immaturity. After all, you are not a child or a fluffy kitten!

So what is femininity? First of all, it is kindness, tenderness, care, and perhaps the ability to yield. This is all that nature has put into a woman along with maternal instinct.

Femininity is the ability to be soft and warm. The ability to create comfort and an atmosphere of complete relaxation, to which a man will be drawn again and again.

Pacification

Peace is the starting state for any relationship. This is the platform on which trusting, harmonious alliances are built. What prevents peace? Dissatisfaction. In the busy rhythm of the modern world, we are often so carried away by the pursuit of the fulfillment of our desires that we do not have time to be conscious. We don’t have time to live life in its fullness and beauty, we don’t have time to communicate, we don’t have time for our loved ones. But this is the most important thing that testifies to our love.

If you want to build marital happiness, it is important to bring peace to your life. How to do it? Look for more positive things in people and circumstances, live in harmony with the laws of the universe, gain knowledge, and be grateful.

Final Thoughts

Successful relationships are established by two people who clearly understand what they want from this union and how it needs to be developed. And if you love yourself, take care of yourself, and stay in good shape, then you will be healthy, strong and less stressed. This in turn will have a positive effect on your partner and your relationship in general.

Which of these factors is most important to you?

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Discipline

Some men have been disorganized and somewhat unserious about life since their school years. They may be late, forget to complete an assigned task, do everything “behind them,” be distracted from an important task... The wives of such husbands often call them “another child in the family.” There is infantilism in behavior here. A disciplined man is the exact opposite of a “man-child.” This is a responsible person who takes the assigned tasks seriously. You can rely on him for everything. Needless to say, this is exactly the kind of life partner that most unmarried women dream of.

Is a harmonious relationship possible?

Psychologists are encouraging. Despite significant contradictions, many men and women still manage to come to mutual understanding. Truly happy couples are formed on the mutual acceptance by partners of the following values and attitudes.

Love is the driving force of relationships, capable of bringing together even very different people. Not everyone is given the opportunity to experience this amazing feeling, which sometimes makes you become completely different: change your attitude to life, habits, beliefs, circle of friends. And do it of your own free will. Love is always associated with acceptance and understanding, without conditions and restrictions. For many, it is the true meaning of life, therefore both women and men, imagining an ideal relationship, put love in first place.
Confidence . It is difficult to live with a person, tormenting yourself with unnecessary suspicions, and is in constant anticipation of a “knife in the back” or betrayal. Relationships built on trust mean special openness and emotional closeness between people. There is no place for secrecy and suspicion in them. Trust presupposes the freedom of a person to choose what to do so as not to hurt another. It is especially difficult to learn to trust someone who has already been betrayed more than once.
Loyalty is a quality of high significance and value. By default, lovers remain faithful to each other, not allowing even the slightest possibility of doubting their honesty and sincerity. This is not only the absence of physical betrayal, but also the inability to even imagine oneself with someone else. Loyalty is inextricably linked with support of views and beliefs, readiness to help in difficult times.
Partnership and equality . Any relationship is built on the joint efforts of partners. A man and a woman must make every possible contribution to building a harmonious and lasting union of two who clearly envision a common future. However, equality of effort cannot be taken literally. It is difficult to imagine a situation where a man and a woman contribute exactly half of everything: this would be too simplistic a view of life. The balance of power can change in one direction or another, depending on who at a given moment in time has more resources: emotional, material, physical. The one who can do it easier helps and lends a shoulder. Next time they will simply switch roles.

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Nowadays, it is difficult to find truly happy unions built on love and mutual understanding, selfless acceptance and support. It is difficult to find a single recipe for harmonious and long-lasting relationships. Each couple is unique and inimitable. A man and a woman look at the world and relationships differently, but if they are lucky enough to meet “their” person, they can safely say that their life was not lived in vain.

Wise advice

Women's wisdom in relationships with men is based on certain postulates. Any girl will understand, having learned them, what is the secret of healthy love between representatives of the weaker and stronger sex. What tips can help a woman become the most desirable for her man?

Let's take control of our emotions. The play of hormones and excessive emotionality often cause girls to overreact to everyday problems. The wisdom of any woman in a relationship with a man is manifested in the ability to squeeze herself in a vice and not throw tantrums out of nowhere. Before you raise your voice and make complaints, think about the situation several times. Maybe she's not worth a damn?
Away with inflated demands. You can’t jump above your head, and every man has his own limit of capabilities. Do not demand from your partner something that he is clearly not able to fulfill at the moment. Motivate him gently and carefully, then he will achieve more.
Spend time together more often. Don’t think that constant separation and rare meetings will make your partner bored. Yes, if this happens infrequently, it does bring strong emotions when the couple reunites. But deliberately avoiding communication in the hope that your partner will get bored is stupid. Rather, the man will go looking for a replacement with a more accommodating lady.
Joy and a smile on your face are the key to happiness. Even in a store it’s nice when the seller smiles at us. What to say about relationships? Show your sincere feelings more often, and your partner will always beam with happiness when he meets you.
The first step is not humiliation. If you had a fight with a man and cannot wait for his cherished apology, there is no shame in starting the conversation first. Perhaps you also said too much in the heat of the moment. After all, in a conflict, both participants are almost always to blame. Show nobility and invite your partner to negotiate. It is sometimes so difficult for men to meet halfway, even if they feel guilty.

An ideal woman should apply these tips in everyday life. Men value a comfortable state next to a girl much more than legs from the ears and breasts of the third size.

Honesty and integrity

There is no need for even special explanations here. “I’m looking for an honest and decent man” is the main slogan of most marriage advertisements. But how can you understand that he is exactly like that even before the wedding? Observe carefully, pay special attention to his attitude not only towards you, but also towards other people. If a man blows away specks of dust from you, but at the same time acts unkindly towards his parents and friends, there are some suspicions of what may await you ahead... However, pay attention not only to alarm bells - appreciate manifestations of honesty and purity of character.

Energy

A man who prefers the role of a passive observer of the flow of life is of little use in marriage. Family life requires active action.

Needless to say, it is an energetic (in the right direction) spouse who is able to provide for his family and create better living conditions for it. In addition, a man full of strength and energy is very attractive. Yes, with him a woman has to keep herself in good shape, always be competitive - but that’s great! This will prevent her from blooming.

Destructive factors

Certain factors are more likely to lead to the end. They can be avoided if each partner works on themselves and intimacy.

Factors that spoil relationships include:

Criticism. It is impossible to endure constant dissatisfaction and reproaches from your significant other for a long time. At the heart of criticism is a loss of respect. This problem can destroy the most reverent intimacy. With loss of interest and feelings, a functional union can be maintained, but lack of respect inevitably ends in failure. Partners turn into real enemies who find it difficult to overcome themselves in order to make peace and begin to respect each other again. The situation can only be changed through joint efforts. If only one party actively meets halfway, looks for attractive qualities in the chosen one, then the relationship is doomed.
Distance. People don’t ask about each other’s past day, health, or experiences. Sometimes such coldness comes from one partner. In response to questions, he remains melancholy or aggressively silent. It is difficult to discuss problems with an indifferent person; the emotional distance here only increases. This is due to loss of feelings and interest. In this phase, a person tries to notice differences, whereas previously he saw only similarities. Psychologists talk about a repetition of the crisis that every child experiences when leaving the zone of influence of his father and mother. Such a fracture is natural. You can survive it if you still have respect. It is worth looking for common ground, getting to know each other.
Negativism. It is difficult to coexist with an inveterate pessimist or with an overly unstable person. Constant emotional shocks and exaggeration of problems are depressing. Sometimes it is impossible to convince such individuals. If one partner revels in pessimism, then the other will suffer emotional devastation. When negativism manifests itself in two people in the same way, it can even bring them closer. Often a person demonstrates dissatisfaction with life only next to his companion, out of spite. This is an indicator of loss of interest and respect for the chosen one. It is worth discussing the problem openly.

Relationships are a difficult test. In long-term unions, the positive aspects of a personality and its shortcomings are revealed, so obstacles are inevitable. It is worth preparing to fight, but not with each other, but for happiness.