How to find out if your husband is cheating: the best ways at home, psychology

Why check

When organizing a guy's loyalty test, women rarely think through what they will do with the information they receive. Walk away, forgive, or not tell your partner at all that your integrity has been questioned. But initially, the girls set themselves the following surveillance goals:

1. Make sure your partner loves you.
2. Thoroughly check that he is ready for a serious relationship, family and children.
3. See even more advantages in him, because he is not like other men.
4. Deal with a difficult relationship with a guy.
5. Find a reason for separation.
6. Understand that the time spent on the relationship was not wasted and the guy is worthy of the girl’s attention.
7. Make sure that he is satisfied in bed, and he is not looking for pleasure on the side.

You can find answers to all these questions without checking your personal VKontakte page or mobile phone. It is enough to talk frankly with your loved one, talk about sad thoughts, suspicions and anxiety. Or carefully observe the guy’s behavior, evaluate his affection for you, and remember his actions recently. But if this does not help, doubts remain about his loyalty, then act radically.

Why do women get jealous?

It happens that women are very often jealous for no reason, thereby offending the feelings of their chosen one. This may be due to low self-esteem or bad experiences from past relationships. When meeting a handsome man with an ideal appearance, a girl does not believe until the very end that she was lucky enough to capture his attention and often sees every friend and acquaintance as a competitor. In this case, you need to start not by checking the guy, but by increasing your self-esteem. You need to learn to love and appreciate yourself, celebrate your best sides both in appearance and in character. And under no circumstances should you talk to your partner about your complexes, constantly lowering your own bar. After all, with this you can really convince him that he made an unworthy choice and that he should take a closer look at those around him. Believe me, most often your shortcomings exist only in your imagination. Learn to turn them into advantages and give your partner happiness in a fulfilling relationship. Make him unravel and recognize you, intrigue and give him the opportunity to pursue you, such a hunter's instinct will keep your feelings in good shape, and your loved one will definitely not be scattered with other women. Having the bitter experience of breaking up due to the betrayal of your significant other, you should not now treat all men with caution and suspicion. New partners do not have to be responsible for other people’s mistakes and have the right to count on respect and trust in the couple. Therefore, you can simply warn about why you broke up with your ex, explaining that the very fact of betrayal is very painful for you and absolutely unacceptable. If a new partner loves you and values ​​your relationship, he will try to completely protect you from worries, constantly proving his love and loyalty to you.

Psychological signs

The behavior of a relationship partner can tell a lot about what is happening in a couple now. When you first suspect a guy, pay attention to his behavior.

Psychological signs of infidelity in men are the following:

1. Change in behavior in relationships: the partner has become cold or, conversely, overly affectionate.
2. Increased attention to your appearance: purchasing new clothes, changing your hairstyle, trying to lose weight.
3. Changes in sexual behavior: cessation of intimate life or the emergence of new desires.
4. Pays attention to other women.
5. Doesn't part with his mobile phone, encrypts passwords on devices.

Questions to check

The best and safest way for a girl to bring a guy to clean water is to talk frankly. You can ask questions by phone, write via SMS, or carefully voice them in person:

1. Tell us about your ex(s), why you broke up, did you cheat on her?
2. How do you feel about cheating in general?
3. Can you forgive your partner's infidelity?
4. Do you think it’s worth talking about a new love or crush to a girl right away, or is it better to wait until the feelings on the side go away on their own?
5. Do you often tell lies to your parents and friends for your own benefit?
6. How long will it take you to walk away from the relationship if there is a breakup? Or will you immediately find a replacement for your ex?

When the guy answers questions, watch his gestures and the direction of his gaze. If he wants to lie, he will stroke his face, touch his nose or lips. If he looks straight into the eyes, answers without hesitation, smiles when asked “stupid” questions, then he is frank. Next, evaluate the essence of the answers: the potential cheater does not see anything reprehensible in the rapid change of partners, treats correspondence with other women as entertainment, and mistakenly thinks that he will quickly forgive the betrayal of his beloved.

On VKontakte from a fake page

To check a guy’s fidelity by correspondence on VK, Instagram, WhatsApp, you need to create a fake page on a social network or messenger. Prepare to communicate with your loved one in advance, make a couple of dozen “friends”, fill an album with photos from the Internet, write posts, join groups that are interesting to the alleged liar. A blank page and a new account can alert a partner and suggest fraud.

You can check a guy’s loyalty on VKontakte using this correspondence model:

1. When the “fake” girl’s profile is filled with friends, photos, videos from YouTube, gradually get closer to the guy. Put a class under his pictures and statuses.
2. Offer friendship.
3. Once approved, write a humble “Hello.” If he doesn’t respond the first time, don’t insist and calm down, your man is not dating online.
4. If the answer is received quickly, start actively communicating, flirt and monitor the reaction to vulgarities, intimate offers, sent porn.
5. Invite the potential cheater to a meeting. If he agrees, admit that you were testing him and break off the relationship. There will be no need to talk here.

By SMS

This option is suitable for couples who are at a distance from each other. For example, a husband goes on a shift, a loved one studies in another city, partners spend their holidays apart. You'll have to buy a new number and write SMS from it on behalf of another girl (fake).

You can check a guy’s fidelity from a distance via SMS like this:

1. Write to the guy that you want to meet him. Explain that you got his number from mutual friends.
2. Tell him that you have been watching him from the side for a long time. For example, you study in the same stream at the university and work in neighboring offices.
3. When a guy takes the bait and allows himself to make contact with a stranger, do not delay the conversation.
4. Ask if he has a girlfriend. If he answers truthfully, praise your lover. But keep the conversation going.
5. Offer to meet to get to know each other better. You can use more explicit language and hint at sex.
6. If the guy agrees, arrange a date.

Then act according to the circumstances. You can confess to your failed lover who corresponded with him, or go up to the meeting at the appointed time and cause a scandal. Or forget about checking and try to improve your relationship with your loved one.

Don't send voicemails to a guy if you're checking him out. He will quickly understand who is talking to him, especially if you have been together for a long time.

Demand love

Do you want to check your husband for infidelity? There is a folk method that has helped many girls determine the fidelity of their lovers. What is it? Does your spouse often stay late and sometimes come home at night? Wait for your significant other to return and don’t go to bed. A man will come home, and you should tell him from the door that you feel sad and lonely, so you need his affection and warmth. Demand that the man fulfill his marital duty. The guy refuses and says that he is tired from work? Think about whether he overworked himself sitting at the computer. Repeat the test every time the man is delayed. If a guy repeatedly refuses sex after working late, then the conclusion is quite obvious.

Test

A woman needs to pass a fidelity test. She answers questions for a man, taking into account his behavior, habits and views. It's absolutely free. Choose 1 answer and count your points.

1. The man began to hide his phone, talks in the bathroom, hangs up if the girl he loves is nearby? • Yes, but he says that he has problems at work, his colleagues are calling, his boss – 2 points. • Yes, he gets very nervous, if the phone rings, he immediately retreats to talk – 3b. • No – 1 point.
2. Has the guy started staying late at work, at university, and going to the bathhouse with friends all night? • No, he comes as usual, meets friends at home – 1b. • Yes, but the reasons for the delays are very compelling, they are confirmed by his friends and colleagues – 2 points. • Yes, he doesn’t even explain the reason for the delays – 3 points.
3. If you ask him directly about cheating, how will he react? • He will be surprised, but calmly hug and kiss. He will say: “What are you thinking about, bunny?!” – 1 b. • He will scream: “No, of course not! How could you think such a thing!!!” – 3 b. • Depending on how our relationship develops – 2 points.
4. Does he easily change friends and social circle in general? • No, I’ve known friends since childhood, it’s hard to find a common language with new people – 1 point. • He makes acquaintances easily, but doesn’t let anyone but old friends get too close – 2 points. • He is always full of new acquaintances – 3 points.
5. Has a man recently begun to devote more time to his appearance (losing weight, buying new things, thinking about changing his hairstyle)? • Yes, I joined the gym, updated my wardrobe – 3 points. • No, behaves as usual – 1 point. • Yes, some things have changed, but not dramatically – 2 points.
6. Has a man become colder in bed? • Yes, we hardly have sex (1-2 times a month) – 3 points. • No, there was more sex, he became more inventive, active – 2 points. • It’s hard to say, everything seems to be as usual – 1 point.
7. Has your lover's daily routine changed? • Yes, in many ways – 3 points. • There are some changes – 2 points. • No, everything is as usual – 1 point.
8. Do you often quarrel? • Yes, over trifles that didn’t irritate him before – 3 points. • Yes, we quarrel, but we quickly make up – 1 point. • It seems to me that he is constantly looking for reasons to quarrel -2 points.
9. After a disagreement, does a man strive to leave home or does he try to make peace? • Yes, he immediately leaves to exhale and disappears for several hours – 3 points. • He withdraws into himself, but does not go “for a walk” – 2 points. • There is no desire to leave home, after a few hours we make up – 1 point.
10. Does your husband continue to compliment you or tries to prick you for your shortcomings? • Yes, he also gives flowers, says nice words, but less often – 1 point. • No, he nags me for shortcomings in my figure, habits – 3 points. • The mood is like a swing, sometimes he likes everything, sometimes he doesn’t – 2 points.

Add up the points and evaluate the result using the table:

Method 3. Ask about cheating directly

Ask if something is wrong

You don't have to accuse your boyfriend of cheating, but tell him that you think there's something wrong with him. Not being able to communicate with your partner can cause serious problems in a relationship, so it's best to simply address the issue directly.

Try to remain as calm as possible. If you immediately put your boyfriend on the defensive, you probably won't get any real answers. Remember that your goal is conversation, not confrontation.

Point out changes in his behavior

You don't want to appear irrational or paranoid, so it can be helpful to provide specific evidence that made you suspicious of him, even if it's just the fact that he stopped calling you pet names or always takes his phone to the bathroom.

Ask point blank

If explaining changes in your boyfriend's behavior that are bothering you doesn't bring up the topic, you can simply ask him directly if he's cheating. You will likely become angry and upset, but do not become abusive or physically violent. The calmer you remain, the more likely you are to get a straight answer from your boyfriend.

Give your boyfriend a chance to answer your questions. Don't yell at him or assume you know what he's going to say. He may have an explanation for his actions that will allay your fears.

If you have doubts and you critically need to know information about him on social networks, use social network profile analysis. You will certainly learn useful information for yourself.

If you still doubt whether your boyfriend is cheating on you, we suggest taking a test, the results of which will definitely dot all the i's.

Are checks necessary?

The question “Should I test a guy’s loyalty or not?” you need to decide before you start looking for reasons to worry. Some women prefer to remain in the dark and do not even notice obvious signs of their husband’s moves to the left. Others are in an eternal search for evidence and a reason to make a scandal with a guy based on jealousy. Any of these positions has a right to exist. Let's present the arguments of both sides in the table.

If you support the position of those women who decide to check a man, then do not forget that surveillance has a very negative impact on the relationship in a couple.

Arguments against checking in relationships:

1. If a guy accidentally finds out about the check, he will feel insulted and offended by the girl. After thought and disappointment, he decides to end the relationship.
2. A man feels constant control from a woman and is tense. The consequence of this is real betrayal and the search for satisfaction on the side.
3. Strange questions, call checks, correspondence attract the attention of men, and he himself becomes suspicious. As a result, the couple lives in complete distrust, both watching each other. This is a sick relationship.
4. When a woman finds out about infidelity, she falls into apathy and experiences severe stress. Her world is collapsing, she doesn’t know what to do, but continues to love her partner. Relationships become tense, painful and no longer bring joy to either party.
5. The habit of keeping a man under control turns into mania. Noticing this, the man prefers to leave rather than be under the thumb of a hysterical woman.

If you nevertheless decide to check the guy and find confirmation of your fears, do not rush to silently break off the relationship. Be sure to ask questions, find out what prompted your loved one to communicate with another. Maybe the problem is your suspicion and tension. A frank conversation will dot all the “and”, perhaps, save love.

How to test a guy's fidelity and when to do it

Of course, if a guy does not give you reasons for jealousy and suspicion, then you should not tempt fate simply because you have already had a negative experience or because you are simply suspicious. In both of these cases, you need to find ways to improve your self-esteem and learn to trust people without insulting them with your checks. There are many trainings and articles for this. You can also meet with a psychologist about this issue. It is important to realize that the problem is not with the guy, but with you, and it is you who need to solve the problem with trust, otherwise the current relationship, like the next one, will be doomed to failure. If the young man really began to behave suspiciously, then below you can read in what ways you can test his loyalty.