How to stop being jealous of your ex in 5 steps - instructions for those who are going crazy with jealousy

Don't be jealous!
Why do you need to get rid of jealousy?
How to stop being jealous of your ex-girlfriend?
Bottom line

From the moment of first falling in love and losing the first relationship, every person has an ex-partner. If a guy had a relationship but it ended, then he also has an ex-girlfriend. Some guys have multiple ex-girlfriends. And the most interesting thing is that you can even be jealous of them. How is it that the relationship ended, but the jealousy towards your ex-girlfriend remained? The men's magazine masculino.ru will help you stop being jealous of a person who is no longer yours.

Psychologists see a paradox in the fact that it is very easy to destroy a relationship, but dealing with feelings is much more difficult. This becomes the reason why partners who are no longer dating continue to be interested in each other's lives. The relationship broke up, but the guy continues to visit his girlfriend’s page on social networks, ask about news from his friends, and even go to places that his ex-girlfriend usually visits. And if suddenly there are signs that the ex-girlfriend has a new boyfriend, he may begin to be very jealous of her.

Why is a guy jealous of someone he is no longer dating? This suggests that relationships in the physical world have ceased to exist, but at the level of the mind and emotions they do not. The guy continues to meet with his ex-girlfriend, worry about her, think, miss her and, most likely, even dreams that they will be together again. And there is a category of men who simply consider all the women they have ever dated to be their property. Even if there is no relationship, women should still remain faithful to their ex-man.

Let's sum it up

Jealousy of an ex is different from possessiveness in a relationship. Because, having broken up with a guy, you no longer have the conditional right to possess him. Everything here revolves around your wounded pride. Especially if you yourself initiated the breakup.

Just the 5 steps described above can bring you closer to independence from your ex-partner. You will stop killing yourself like that, become more confident in yourself and next time you will choose a guy, already having new, invaluable experience.

Are you a jealous girl? Tell us about your experience in the comments.

Don't be jealous!

Don't be jealous of your loved one, it only ruins your life. Remember more often that you and your partner are adults, which means that each of you must be responsible for any of your words and actions. For your part, do not be jealous, because any jealousy makes you cause some inconvenience and quarrel with your loved one. And you are personally responsible for this, because you are jealous! In the same way, let your partner be responsible for the actions that he commits. And if suddenly he really cheats on you, then let him answer in full.

Take care of your nerves. Don’t ruin your life just because one person doesn’t know how to be faithful and loving!

Don't be jealous, be confident in yourself. Take this position: your partner can do what he considers necessary (he, in principle, will do this anyway, no matter how much you yell at him or are jealous), but if he crosses the boundaries in his actions (that is, directly cheats, starts dating someone other than you, flirts), then you will leave him. Be confident that you can leave an unfaithful person and live happily without him (memories of how he deceived you will help you with this). Love yourself and be confident. Let your partner do what he wants, you can express your opinion to him so that he knows about your position. However, if your partner crosses the line where fidelity ends and betrayal begins, then don’t think twice and leave this person.

You were not jealous, but gave freedom, expressed your opinion, so that your loved one knew whether you liked what he was doing or not. If your partner did not use his freedom for your benefit, then you do not need to be around such a person. Sooner or later he would have cheated on you anyway, only you would have been very jealous and spoiled your nerves. Why do you need this? You still have a whole life ahead of you to live happily with another loved one who will value you and use their freedom to develop themselves.

Freedom in a relationship is good because both you and your partner expose everything that otherwise, when there is no freedom, they would hide and hide. The lack of freedom does not cause the disappearance of some qualities of a person, he just does not show them. And by giving freedom and allowing your loved one to do everything that he considers necessary, you are ready to know everything about him, to see all his attractive and unsightly sides of his personality. However, at the same time, you do not remain silent, but calmly and good-naturedly talk about all your feelings that you experience when you observe certain manifestations of your partner. You ask him to stop, not to do something, because it is ruining your relationship. And if your partner listens to you, it means he agrees with you and values your union.

Of course, here too it is possible to hide one’s actions, but the freedom that you give a person will not force him to hide from you for long. You do not have the right to demand anything from your partner, but you have the right to decide for yourself whether you need this person who commits certain actions that are unpleasant for you.

Don't be jealous! If they are faithful to you, you will see it when you calm down. And if you are unfaithful, then you will see this too. Walk away from someone who cannot be faithful and loving to you. This is just one person who has not yet grown up for a serious and long-term relationship. It is better to find another partner who understands the full responsibility of his actions. And it’s better to let this “only” person go. You definitely don’t need him, because he doesn’t protect your nerves and raises doubts about his honesty and love.

Why does a man still communicate with his ex?

Every woman is individual. The man, communicating with his ex, gained certain life experience. He had already figured out her inclinations and preferences, so he made conclusions for himself about her positive traits.

And even after entering into a new marriage, a man does not want to lose the friendship and help of his previous wife, which can be useful to him.

Sometimes this happens for purely mercantile purposes, when, for example, his wife was his business partner and performed duties that he has to learn again, or a woman has a higher level of education and can help with advice.

Common hobbies also play an important role - people can meet in the same interest club, go hiking together or attend a dance studio, but the current girlfriend prefers a more relaxed pastime.

But the reasons for communicating with his ex-wife may also be hidden in the man’s inability to adapt to everyday life. Perhaps he was used to the fact that his wife was well versed in household affairs, but in his new marriage he was not ready to become a leader at home.

Such a man is used to trusting women's opinions. If his current wife relies on her husband for everything, then if he has friendly relations with his ex-wife, he will not waste time looking for answers to everyday questions on the Internet, but will turn to his previous chosen one for help, keeping in mind her talents and rich life experience.

In addition, the presence of common children plays an important role in the regular communication of their parents. These people have the same goals: they want to raise worthy successors to their family.

The father will worry that the mother alone is raising her son too gently, spoiling her daughters and not always noticing changes in the behavior and preferences of the children in time. Such communication between former spouses may be accompanied by quarrels and mutual reproaches, but will only end when the children become adults and independent.

Why do you need to get rid of jealousy?

It's better to stop being jealous. Moreover, this applies not only to current girls, but also to former girls. First of all, jealousy hurts. Secondly, it only becomes unpleasant for the one who is jealous. Third, jealousy clearly does not help in choosing actions that can eliminate the problem. Fourthly, jealousy makes you an inadequate person.

You need to get rid of jealousy, because only you suffer from it. The girl, both former and current, will not be able to feel your feelings. Moreover, some girls even like to feel and see the jealousy of their boyfriends, so they create even more situations that will make you jealous.

If you don’t want to suffer because of jealousy, then you need to get rid of it. How to do it?

How to stop being jealous of your ex-girlfriend?

If you just recently broke up, then you probably still have feelings for the girl who was still yours just the other day. It will become even more unbearable if you find out that the girl is not bored and does not shed tears, but begins to meet and communicate with other guys. Jealousy will probably consume you if you still care about your ex. How to stop being jealous?

Realize that your ex-girlfriend is no longer “yours.” If you broke up with her, the relationship ended, then literally from the next second after that you become free people. Everyone experiences a breakup differently. The girl can go wild. It doesn’t matter for what reasons new guys appear around her. You must remember that yesterday “your girl” is no longer “yours” today. Which means she can do whatever she wants.

Moreover, pay attention to her behavior. The way a girl behaves characterizes her well. The girl is not suffering - perhaps she no longer loves you! The girl went from hand to hand - perhaps she is not so innocent! In other words, look at a girl's behavior after breaking up with you, it will show exactly what kind of person she is and how she treats you.

Stop following your ex-girlfriend's life. Enough. Out of habit, you continue to find out how your ex-girlfriend’s day is going, what’s new in her life. It's time for you to stop doing this. Stop visiting her pages on social networks. Stop asking mutual friends about her affairs. In other words, gradually get used to the fact that the life of a stranger is no longer interesting.

Stop considering your ex-girlfriend to remain faithful to you. If in a relationship this obligation was normal, now that you are free people, the girl does not owe you anything.

Make your life interesting. Jealousy has some similarities with envy. If a girl's life is hectic while you are wasting away from loneliness, you may feel uneasy. You suffer, and she has fun - this can cause jealousy. Start making your life happy too. You don't have to suffer because of a girl who is no longer yours. You should not care about your past relationship if you do not intend to renew it. Finally start living and move on to the future where there will be another girl next to you.

Why are you jealous? Usually no one asks themselves such a question. Often people try to force their loved ones to act in such a way that their actions do not cause feelings of jealousy. Or those who are jealous are looking for ways to stop being jealous. But it is impossible to recover if you treat the symptoms and not the causes of the disease. Therefore, in order to get rid of jealousy, it is necessary to understand the reasons why this feeling arises in a person.

Admit that you are jealous. This will help you get rid of negative feelings much faster than if you blame your “untrustworthy” partner for everything. As soon as you realize that you are jealous of your loved one, try to determine what you are missing out on when your partner is not with you. It is deprivation of something that makes you jealous. Are you deprived of attention, fun, hugs, affection? Decide on this question to understand the reasons for your jealousy.

Have you figured out the reason for your negative feelings? Now you have the opportunity to deal with jealousy by finding a way to get your needs met. For example, you are missing out on the fun while your loved one is interacting with other people. Then make friends or find entertainment that will give you the same pleasant emotions. For example, you lose attention. Why don't you pay attention to yourself? Try to find other ways to get your needs met if your partner doesn't want to do what you want them to do. He doesn’t want to, so he doesn’t need to. Find other ways to feel good. This will help you get rid of jealousy and unnecessary reasons for quarrels.

To get rid of jealousy, we will not suggest that you meet other girls and quickly start relationships with them. Even if you start dating several young ladies at once, this will not save you from jealousy. What is important is not the number of girls or the speed of establishing relationships with them, but how interesting and attractive they are to you. If you really like some girl, then you will forget about your ex, and accordingly, you will stop being jealous. But if none of your new acquaintances are interesting to you, then you will continue to suffer for your ex.

Questions for both partners

First of all, ask yourself questions and try to answer them honestly. Ask yourself, can you speak so that you are heard? How strong are your feelings for your ex-wife? Have you really separated or continue to secretly love each other? How much fun are you having with your current spouse? Which pronouns do you use most often? “I and you” or “we”? Do you completely trust your current lover?

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The answers to these questions will help you understand how you feel about your ex-wife and current partner. Now ask your significant other to answer them. Surely she also had a past. Perhaps it continues to remind her of itself. When you openly tell everything that is on your soul, building a relationship will be much easier.

What is the danger?

The paradox of jealousy is that it arises from the threat of separation. By succumbing to jealousy, a person increases the likelihood of realizing his fear of separation, because jealousy, reaching a certain strength and going beyond the bounds of reason, makes the relationship unbearable.

The main negative of jealousy is that:

Shows suspicion towards your significant other. The girl does not feel respect and trust in herself, which puts the relationship at risk.
There is a desire to constantly monitor your beloved and control her in everything, which stifles her freedom.
A jealous person demonstrates his dependence on his partner.

Diagnosis

You look through the pages of former passions, look for information from friends;
express claims and suspicions about the fact of treason, maintaining feelings;
feel irritable when mentioning the name of a friend from the past;
asking questions, provoking mistrust;
check mail and messengers without the knowledge of the owner;
you try to be like your ex (dye your hair, improve specific skills, for example, also take up baking).

If you have diagnosed yourself with more than three “hits,” then a deviation from the norm is present in your sense of self. Jealous pathology develops rapidly, so I advise you to quickly understand the source of the problem, focusing on personal experiences.

Otherwise, you risk acquiring a nervous disorder, stress and strengthening your sense of self-doubt, ruining your relationship with your loved one. How to deal with past jealousy? Are there effective methods?