What is romance: women's and men's views on romance

In personal relationships, women value romance, men are more pragmatic, but they are also not alien to the desire to romanticize interactions. It turns out that a romantic is a person who idealizes the world, sees it from the best side and shares his vision with others

. He is ready to create beauty and magic with his own hands, to give joy to the people he likes.


Romantic - Who is this?

A true scientist is a romantic.
Only romantics believe that anything is possible. Ray Bradbury

  • 1. Thinking romantic
  • 2. Signs of a romantic nature
  • 3. Weaknesses of a romantic nature
  • 4.How to cultivate a romantic in yourself?
  • 5. Summarizing
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Thinking romantic

All romantics have a special way of thinking.
Most of them are idealists. An ardent romantic will not recognize material values; on the contrary, he will reject stereotypes imposed by advertising, public opinion and foundations. In relation to other people, a romantically inclined person is very principled and selective. Allows himself to speak directly and categorically about the opinions of other people that do not coincide with his point of view. This may concern economics, politics, religion and other topics.

A romantic hides from the harsh realities of the world behind fiction, lyrical films, adventure games, and dramatic music. He tries to create an ideal world for himself with an emotional atmosphere corresponding to his mood. In general, romantics are complex individuals with a deep inner world.

Ideal guy: what should he be like?

Fantasy

Men, no less than women, want to be liked, and this is where the ability to fantasize .

The desire to bring joy to the chosen one, to surprise her and thereby conquer a woman’s heart forever, inspires male representatives, sometimes, to do unthinkable things: they write passionate confessions on the asphalt in front of their beloved’s window, they compose poems, buy unusual gifts, set records.

Unpredictability and surprise are the main components of romantic actions, but it all starts with a thought - it is simply impossible to do something like this without imagination.

Signs of a romantic nature

Each romantic has a number of characteristics by which he can be distinguished from the crowd:

  • Idealizes the world
    . A romantic is inspired by his inner state, which allows him to perceive everything that happens around him optimistically. He embellishes in positive tones the people, events and adventures in which he has had the honor to participate. He wears rose-colored glasses and is sincerely surprised by the statements of realists who are trying to open the eyes of romance to reality.
  • Not practical in everyday life
    . A romantically inclined person does not strive for comfortable conditions. The saying with a loved one is heaven in a hut, this is just about romantics and for romantics. They don't tend to save money, take out a mortgage, or pay off a car loan. A romantic lives here and now, one day, one moment.
  • Amorous
    . A romantic does not seek to tie himself into marriage early; in his understanding, stability and constancy are a cage. He is more of a heroic lover who is able to easily start and also easily end relationships. At the same time, he sincerely loves and feels responsible for his soul mate. Having met the one and only, a romantic in a relationship shows his best qualities. He takes into account the wishes of his other half, tries to surprise with pleasant surprises and give gifts without any reason. Perhaps this is the only reason why he will curb his principles and engage in ensuring financial prosperity.
  • Does not see obstacles or difficulties
    . For him, a storm is a chance to test his strength, and not a disaster to be feared. A date in the rain is a lyrical note in a relationship, and thinking about the consequences (colds, hypothermia) is not in their rules.
  • Sacrifice
    . Only a romantic is capable of taking on his shoulders all the sins of the thousand-year history of mankind and paying for them throughout his life, only in order to refute the lack of purpose in his everyday life.
  • Rebellion
    . Ready to swim against the tide to satisfy my own ambitions.

Who are the cynics?

A different view

First of all, it’s worth understanding what the usual dictionary definition of romance is. Most of them say that these are feelings that elevate a person. And this is true, because any romantic person sees something beautiful in the reality around him. Beautiful sunsets that take your thoughts into unknown distances, the waves of the sea, beautiful in their anger, where a storm has broken out, or a quiet forest clearing, where you can so pleasantly retire to the chirping of birds and the chirping of insects. All these are varying degrees of visualization of romance, which can manifest itself in anything.

Romance itself can even be a way of life. This means that a person simply stops seeing negativity and is filled with feelings for the world. He tries to simply go with the flow, without resisting this force. The hallmark of romance is passivity. Romantic people may not resist problems for years, taking everything for granted. This is especially evident in love relationships, where the “hero” can be immensely in love, but when a rival arises, he retreats, because he is confident of his own defeat. But this does not mean that all romantic people are losers who cannot defend their point of view.

In the modern world, romance is gradually receding into the background, giving way to practicality. It is no longer fashionable to stand under the windows to catch a glimpse of the silhouette of your beloved or to write entire poems dedicated to love. It has become less popular to court ladies while adhering to all the rules.

It's hard to talk about romance in a world where sex on the first date is the norm and even a positive thing. Now people are more often trying to achieve the beauty of the body, pursuing their hedonistic inclinations in obtaining physical pleasure. Romance is about sensuality and sensitivity. Such lovers will not calculate and analyze, but will simply trust their heart.

Weaknesses of the romantic nature

Every woman dreams of a strong, confident man who can protect her from problems and paint her life with bright colors.
Every man dreams of meeting a sensitive, understanding, caring and sexy woman. This is exactly the image of a romantic that they paint for their partners, forgetting that every romantically inclined person desires complete reciprocity for every step they take. This is a significant flaw of all romantics. They tend to over-dramatize when they don't get the desired result. Building a strong and reliable relationship will require a lot of compromise and self-education.

Another serious flaw of every romantic is the cult of his own personality. Because of this, a romantic nature often demonstrates not the best sides of its character. If it seems that the boss did not adequately appreciate the work, the romantic will easily quit. Such a capricious person over time risks being left without work and without love.

To arrange your life in the best way, you should rely on the strengths of your character and temperament, educate yourself without betraying yourself.

Assertiveness in Psychology - What is it?

Instructions for use3

Sometimes some people admit that they don’t know how to be romantic at all. They come to this conclusion on their own or others tell them about it. There is a certain type of personality that is truly incapable of accepting romance in any form.

They are too calculating and cold, therefore they strive more for personal gain than for an elevated state of mind. But practice shows that most people can learn romance if they just want to and put in a little effort.

The first thing you need to do is determine what is romantic and enjoyable for you. It doesn't have to be a relationship, as the lists above have proven that there can be romance even in ordinary things.

Maybe you find it incredibly beautiful and peaceful when you are sitting at home, rain is pouring outside and lightning is flashing, and you are enjoying a good book? Or do you like leisurely walks in the park early in the morning, where there are no people yet, but there is silence and fresh cool air? All that is needed at this stage is to determine what really inspires you, makes you sensitive and receptive.

The second step is immersion. This means that you need to be in this state of mental catharsis more often. Just put things aside and do what makes you happy. Even if it is not so easy at first, over time you will begin to feel the need for such a pastime. Gradually immersing yourself in this “romantic whirlpool” may take some time, but the result will not be long in coming.

The third stage - in everyday life, try to recreate the feeling that you experienced in romantic moments. Even if it’s related to a relationship and not something more mundane, remember your first kiss, the slight excitement in anticipation of a date, a lock of hair. Fallen eyes and timid confessions. The warmth that comes after such thoughts will not be confused with anything, because it will temporarily give you immunity from any external irritants.

The last thing you have to do is learn how to give. Romantics are basically quite kind and selfless. The ability to see the good in others and share your positivity is also romance. After all, then a person begins to gradually fall in love with the world. And this inevitably leads to the fact that his worldview gradually changes, turning even a modest and closed person into a real good-natured person with a sweet smile on his lips. The last point is the most difficult, because in the realities of our time it is extremely difficult to learn to give, and not just take.

How to cultivate romance in yourself?

Love is the meaning of romantic life and the primary goal.
For him, the presence of his soulmate in his life plays a big role. He tries to find an approach to the object of his sympathy, to take into account habits, character traits, and tastes. This is a strong trait of the romantic nature. It is precisely these characteristics that one should strive to achieve in order to cultivate a romantic in oneself in the best sense of the word.

To become a romantic, you need the following:

  1. Learn to show attention to your soul mate
    . To do this, it is important to observe the signs of attention with which your partner surrounds you. A similar emotional response can please.
  2. Show your feelings not with words, but with actions
    . For example, at the end of a tiring working day, you can serve a delicious dinner, and use table settings and small accessories - flowers, candles - as a romantic reception.
  3. Try to give your time to a loved one
    . Plan a walk, a trip to the cinema, or a short trip together. Most often, for this you will have to give up your plans. But such a generous sacrifice will be rewarded.
  4. Support your significant other with compliments
    , develop a sense of confidence with encouraging signs of attention.
  5. Create your own love language.
    Take a closer look at what gestures evoke a positive emotional response in your partner (stroking, holding hands) and try to use them more often.

Being a romantic is not just about being a giver of flowers and sweets.
An optimistic view of everyday things, the ability to find positive aspects in any situation, a strong character and the ability not to give in to difficulties - this is what a romantic really is. And even though he lives in his alternative world, he is a sincere and emotionally open person. He is not afraid of his own weaknesses, he is not shy about his emotions - he is real down to the smallest gesture.

Intelligence, education

In order to perform romantic actions, it is enough to desire this, but the higher a person’s intelligence, the more educated he is, the more he knows and reflects, and accordingly he can add more color and variety to relationships.

It would seem that you don’t need a lot of intelligence to give a bouquet of flowers and arrange a romantic dinner, but if you always do the same thing with constant regularity, then romance loses its charm and turns into routine everyday life. To prevent this from happening, you need to understand why all this is needed and how to make sure that monotony and primitiveness do not ruin sensuality and tenderness in relationships.

Upbringing also greatly influences the romanticism of a man’s nature, because if since childhood there has always been a warm and romantic relationship between parents before one’s eyes, a person, subconsciously, will copy them in his future relationships

You are organized.

An organized romantic will never forget a birthday, anniversary or any other memorable date that connects him with his loved one. And although composure and organization are unlikely to be the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “romantic,” these are necessary qualities for a person who wants his personal relationships to last long and be happy.

Romantic people are fantastically mysterious and endlessly wonderful. The signs that indicate a hopeless romantic in a person can be very different, depending on what kind of romantic he is. But no matter the specifics, one thing remains the same about this matter. Our eternal desire for romance can be (and is!) evidence of how important it is to humanity as a whole. Perhaps it is even what makes people human... to some extent.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a hopeless romantic looking for an equally romantic partner, or just someone who’s enjoying the fact that life is throwing more and more interesting people at him, there are signs that make it clear that romance has long been an integral part of your life. This is for the best - because in these days, when the world around us and society fill our lives with fatigue and stress every day, romance can be the only thing that makes it truly wonderful

Translation of article 12 Signs You Are A Hopeless Romantic via Kluber

Photo - kingstonplantation.com

Illusions about relationships and girlfriends

A whole layer of classical medieval literature and works of the Romantic era (part of the Silver Age too) is devoted to high ideas about the Lady, the Lady - the ideal embodiment of femininity and harmony. Impressed by this image of an all-understanding and wise woman, they look for a friend no worse for themselves. Its unique features are a reflection of the romantic’s own interests, but embellished with stereotypes.

They will say anything, charm and seduce, but as soon as the shaky image collapses and the girlfriend appears in her true form, they will immediately lose interest, cool down and be disappointed. Perhaps they will even accuse her of betrayal. Either they will look for the same one until the end of their days, or they will even join the lithromantics.

Care

Showing concern for a close and desirable woman is a true manifestation of romantic love. It would seem that loving a person implies caring for him as a matter of course, but this is not so.

It happens that a man loves the woman with whom he is in a relationship, but does not show it in any way: he does not worry about her health, her comfort, her emotions and impressions, he is just there. Women get bored with such men, self-esteem decreases, life It seems to them insipid and inferior, but sometimes it is enough to ask how you are feeling, or make delicious tea, discuss the past day together, and here it is: a manifestation of care and long-awaited attention.

A romantic man will always feel when this needs to be done, because he wants to be on the same wavelength with his beloved, wants to guess her desires and do something nice for her.

Dreams

A romantic man knows how to dream. Following his dream and taking actions aimed at fulfilling it, a man is a true romantic.

Dreams that cannot be realized probably should not be called romantic; most likely, these are ordinary fantasies, divorced from real life and having nothing to do with romance.

When a man dreams with his chosen one, no matter what these dreams are about: a vacation in the country or about a future child, he makes it clear to her that he has serious intentions. Common dreams about the future not only look romantic and beautiful, they are useful, as they help strengthen relationships, move to a new stage in your life, and improve your quality of life.

Emotions

Women are designed in such a way that more men need romance, their emotions require constant feeding, a man who knows about this and loves his woman will always strive to be a romantic for her, because the mental state of a loved one is important to him, and besides, a woman who receives even modest romantic surprises from her chosen one, she will give him much more in terms of emotions, sex, and everyday life. When a man is able to give romantic emotions to his loved ones, it means he is able to maintain good relationships, it is easy and comfortable to be with him.

Absentee good attitude towards strangers

Often romantics simply love people. They are valuable for their uniqueness: behind each lies a secret and an interesting story. From the very beginning, romantics treat people kindly and count on the same attitude, which is why they get burned.

The trouble is in the image created only in their imagination. Romantics tend to attach labels at first sight - this is a kind of emotional investment in a stranger. They create a certain connection with this, typify it for themselves and select the optimal, in their opinion, model of communication and behavior. And their ideas are shattered when the stranger turns out to be completely different. They almost consider him guilty.

Touch

To show yourself as a romantic, you don’t have to run to the store for unusual and expensive gifts or buy a trip to the Maldives. Touching and looking can be very romantic, the main thing is to use it.

A woman so wants to be desired , so a warm, gentle touch, an unexpected kiss, a short hug are always valuable to her, there can never be too many of them.

Through touch, the energy of love is transmitted, confidence in one’s individuality and uniqueness is given, all this creates an atmosphere of romance for women and allows them to feel happy.

Romantic dinner

Not a very good option in terms of the fact that the views on such a vacation are somewhat different. She can bathe for 15 minutes, no more. He will sit for 1-2 hours in the water. She will sit in the sun and sunbathe for a long time and will take with her a bunch of creams, ointments, a rug, a chaise longue, etc. This will seem unnecessary to him. He wants to go to a disco in the evening, sit in the steam room and be silent. She will moan for a long time about a failed tan or burnt skin.

These are the inconsistencies. In general, the following advice can be given. When choosing a place and time for a romantic meeting, think about how romantic it is and remember what men love and prefer in terms of relaxation. Let us emphasize once again that it should be something pleasing to the eye, that is, beautiful and relaxing to the brain. So think for yourself, decide for yourself. Here you can read about the psychology of love and relationships.

The least advantageous options for arranging a romantic meeting are a walk around the city, an evening in a restaurant and a trip to the sea.

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