Perhaps you, too, have once felt the emptiness that sometimes arises inside: in moments when we suddenly realize that we don’t want anything at all. Life turns into a “home - work - home” scheme, where neither one nor the other brings absolutely any joy. On the one hand, such a state, if it lasts for a long time, may indicate [depression], on the other hand, short episodes can only indicate that life has not been going well lately, but this can be corrected. We figured out how interest appears in general, which motivates you to develop, and what to do if it leaves you.
What is interest
In psychology, there is such a term as personality orientation - this is a set of stable motivations that motivate a person to understand what he wants and determine how he perceives the world and how he can achieve the goals that are set for him. Desires and motives themselves are dynamic and depend on a person’s situational needs, which correspond to his values and worldview, as well as certain obligations to other people. Nevertheless, psychologists identify several fixed categories, which can include everything that we are trying (or at least want) to achieve:
- Installation. An individual’s unconscious willingness to act to satisfy needs.
- Attraction. A stage in a person’s life when he does not yet understand what exactly he wants, but feels the desire.
- Interest. An emotional manifestation of curiosity and cognitive need, which is felt as a feeling of sympathy for an object/activity.
- Wish. A conscious need to get something.
- Intention. The same conscious understanding of what a person plans to do.
- Beliefs. A set of perceived needs according to which a person builds his life.
- Worldview. Reflects a person’s views on the world, social relationships, social norms and rules.
We are most interested, of course, in interest, which is always based on different needs. For example, you may be interested in finding a cafe where you can have lunch today because you are hungry, or meeting with friends because you feel a lack of social contacts. Any conscious desire for a certain activity or object is an interest that we realize with the help of other components of the personality’s orientation. However, we often find ourselves in a situation where there seem to be inclinations, but it is not easy to deal with them, and clearly defined interests do not seem to exist at all. Or they were there, but for some reason they disappeared.
Popular traps
In your search for meaning in life, you can fall into several traps.
Dependent Relationships
This is if you decide to look for yourself in family and love. Perhaps you just imagined a family with a dozen children and are now afraid of not being able to make it in time. This is the other extreme of your current condition. You can not do it this way. You can’t cling to a random passerby, you can’t give birth to children because “you have to.” You need to clearly plan and rationally evaluate every step. Remember the main conditions for realizing the meaning of life: realism, consistency, feasibility.
Workaholism
This is an escape from reality. This is the opposite of laziness. Work cannot replace family, communication with friends, and leisure. It is not safe. Work takes up all your thoughts, and you constantly begin to feel anxious. You cannot help but work, but even while working you are constantly anxious. At the same time, the ability to empathize and establish social contacts decreases. A workaholic does not want to solve interpersonal problems, but you and I remember that life makes sense with global values and interaction with society. Gradually this develops into dissatisfaction with oneself and the question of the meaninglessness of existence arises again.
False meanings, or self-destruction
By which I mean self-destructive behavior (not always conscious). I have heard the phrases “my meaning in life is to waste my life”, “I am a party animal, and this is the meaning of my life”, “self-destruction as the meaning of life”, “searching for the meaning of life through self-destruction”, “the meaning of life is to try everything” ( for some reason the most accessible, dangerous, trivial), “gather a collection of women/men.” These are not meanings. This is a waste of given time and potential. With such attitudes, the re-awareness of meaninglessness usually comes in old age or late adulthood. Against this background, a crisis develops that can end in depression and even suicide.
Why am I not interested in anything?
Daniel Brownie, author of The Source of Energy. How to turn on the body’s hidden reserves and stay energetic all day,” devoted a lot of time to studying the mechanisms of productivity and came to the logical conclusion that energy is not an endless source. Every day we spend it and replenish it, and when we feel a lack of strength and lack of any interest in life, this indicates that we have spent more than we could restore, and we continue to do so. When exactly and for what reason the problem manifested itself, it is impossible to say exactly without the help of a specialist and deep reflection, since some may be in a state of demotivation for several months and ignore this state, others - only for a couple of days or a week. However, there are several reasons why we may lose interest in life.
Excessive severity with yourself. John Maxwell, an American writer and speaker, in his book “The 15 Laws of Growth,” expresses the opinion that the value judgments we apply to ourselves are the most powerful psychological factor influencing our performance. Thus, it turns out that if you often scold yourself but never praise yourself, or constantly feel dissatisfied with your work, while striving to do better and better, then most likely you will lose motivation very quickly.
Lack of a compelling goal. Ask yourself, “Why am I doing what I’m doing?”
, and if you don't have a clear answer, then that's a bad sign. Often it is the lack of understanding of what you are striving for that gives you a feeling of hopelessness and despair.
High expectations. Despite the fact that a person is capable of achieving anything if he has the desire and understanding of how to do it, there are often cases when the goal turns out to be beyond our reach. It seems to put pressure on us with the fact that it remains unattainable no matter how much effort we put in. This happens because we incorrectly estimate the volume of tasks, set priorities and deadlines incorrectly. As a result, there is no result, and this is really frustrating.
Lack of environmental support. You can strive for complete autonomy as much as you like, but people are still social creatures who largely depend on what those around them, especially their close circle, think and want. And if instead of support you are judged, confused and reminded of failure at every corner, this is understandably demotivating.
Unhealthy Lifestyle. The lack of sleep alone is worth it, not to mention irregular nutrition and the lack of at least minimal physical activity with a predominantly sedentary lifestyle. Despite the fact that physical condition is not directly related to intellectual activity, it is difficult for the body to function properly when basic needs are not met for a long time. As a result, both interest in life and motivation to do anything gradually fade away, and in the long term you risk finding yourself in a state of deep depression.
To all this, as a separate point, it is worth adding stress, which for various reasons we experience more often than expected, which depletes our nervous system and ceases to have interest in anything at all.
Attend recreational events
Are you sad and lonely? Then go to some social event. You can choose the entertainment that you like best. For example, if you like art, then go to the opening of a new exhibition. If you are interested in new technologies, visit a robot exhibition. Do you love animals? Go to the zoo. Well, what to do if nothing is interesting? Then visit an amusement park. In a crowded place where there is always a festive atmosphere, it will be easy for you to get a charge of positive energy. Have fun with those around you. Ride on those attractions that you never dared to even look at before. This kind of exit from your comfort zone will help you rethink your values and understand that making your leisure time interesting and varied is very simple.
How to fix it
Take small steps
Don't start big; you'll set the bar too high, given that at this stage you're in a state of disinterest, much less willing to do anything. Think about what you previously wanted or what dreams remained unfulfilled, and then start making a plan. Research has shown that planning—even if it's short-term—helps keep you in shape and leads to greater resilience.
Introduce rituals into your life
Despite the fact that freedom, of course, is what any person needs to realize his needs, nevertheless, certain restrictions will help you not to waste time and do only what will be truly useful. Therefore, formulate a few rules, for example, how you will start your morning: with a glass of water, reading 10 pages of a book, taking a shower - it doesn’t matter, the main thing is that it becomes a habit. By doing this every day, your brain will feel good and your motivation will increase.
Make checklists
If you understand in your head that you need, say, to improve a foreign language, but you don’t have the desire or energy to do it, try motivating yourself by creating checklists. Determine for yourself the optimal amount of what you are willing to do now, set a schedule, and then start marking the days on your calendar when you completed the task. For example, learn 10 words daily. And each time you do this, paint the day with a bright color, and let the calendar itself be in a prominent place as a reminder of the goal you have set for yourself.
Try to be kinder to yourself
There may be a lack of interest for various psychological reasons: from deep self-doubt to extreme perfectionism, when there is a feeling that everything should be perfect, which is almost never justified. Either reason exhausts us, and it is normal that sometimes we feel exhausted. Try to figure out how you prevent yourself from being interested in life around you. If you can’t do it on your own, you can always contact a specialist who will help determine the cause of all the problems. But the most important thing is not to judge yourself for “wrong” behavior and understand that at the heart of everything is caring about your well-being.
Life story, or preface
By the way, I understand you, because a couple of months ago I myself was tormented by the problem of comprehension. In my case, the problem was the lack of work that would bring both pleasure and good income. There was a family, there were hobbies, there were beliefs, there were attitudes, but there was no place in the work sphere. That is why it was not that his views on life turned out to be non-standard.
And I gave up, and I didn’t want anything, and I fought with myself. But everything changed when I decided not to deviate from my beliefs and not to break myself. I know my strengths and weaknesses and abilities very well. I knew it would be hard (and it was), but I had to start. In fact, only I believed in myself; others, at best, did not interfere. But my own confidence was enough for me.
And now I can safely say that I feel harmonious and whole. Along with my acquisition of integrity and the meaning of being, other areas began to improve on their own, and most importantly, I feel an endless flow of strength and desire to create. But enough of the lyrics, I think I’ve already inspired you to at least read this article, now in a more general and scientific way.
Travel more
When does a person live? When he learns something new and does something unusual or familiar but loved. New impressions and emotions can be gained if you travel more. You won’t be able to discover anything interesting while sitting at home. It is clear that you will be able to read about something, or watch something. But the visual picture that you draw in your imagination or see on the TV screen will be different from the one that you can see with your own eyes. When traveling, a person always changes. He reconsiders his views on the usual way of things; what he liked before, he may begin to consider stupid. It's always nice to change and see how people build their lives in other countries around the world. Therefore, if you are bored and don’t want to do anything, take a vacation and go on vacation to another country.
