In this article we will look at how to develop your self-esteem. We will also touch on his role in our lives and show you how to learn to value and respect yourself.
Self-esteem is a very important component of the life of any happy person. Low self-esteem is a big problem nowadays. After all, this is a factor that prevents a person from growing and developing, and sometimes can even cause great harm. It is imperative to learn to respect yourself! We will tell you below how to do this and where to start.
What is self-esteem
Self-esteem is a person’s attitude towards himself, taking into account his merits and successes or shortcomings and guilt.
A person is not born with this feeling, but develops it in the process of life. The development of self-esteem occurs during education, under the influence of the upbringing of parents who teach children the appropriate model of behavior.
Personal dignity of a woman
This feeling can be compared to inner harmony - the girl begins to listen to her own desires, sees her strengths and weaknesses, develops the former and eliminates the latter. Character traits:
- He takes care of his own body - not to meet “standards”, but to maintain health and contentment with his reflection.
- Allows you to take care of yourself - gratefully accepts compliments and gifts, does not strive to do everything yourself, gives a man the right to perform “male” duties.
- She does not ask for love, but only gives reasons to be loved. Never “runs” after a young man.
- She skillfully shares home problems and joys with work moments, never prefers one to the complete detriment of the other, finds compromises, remains a good employee and a loving mother and wife.
Meaning in human life
Self-esteem is a significant feature for a person. It is determined depending on the achievement of the goals set by the individual.
Are you ready to stop thinking about your problem and finally move on to real actions that will help you get rid of your problems once and for all? Then perhaps you will be interested in this article .
In life, every person tries to achieve success that is consistent with his self-esteem and strengthens it.
The functions of self-esteem are that it regulates the activities and behavior of an individual. A person correlates characteristics with goals and means, accumulates knowledge, thanks to which the formation of personality occurs at a conscious age.
Adequate self-respect
Self-esteem develops in several levels, which show how much a person needs self-realization.
If he is tall, then the person does not feel discomfort in society, clearly sets goals for himself and achieves them. He does not make excuses to others, does not seek approval, but lives according to his own internal laws. For such a person, self-realization is of great importance; she tries to achieve her goals and realize her aspirations.
But most people have an average level of self-esteem. In their decisions, they take into account the opinions of others, but do not blindly trust them. Such people have a need for respect from others, which allows them to realize their own importance and achieve goals.
Change your attitude to change your life
People with a lack of self-esteem do not have their own clear line of behavior. Because of this, they try to look up to someone: they look for an idol and follow his behavior. The outcome of any situation brings internal imbalance and the desire to “replay” everything.
Daily self-analysis will help you develop your own point of view. Remember a couple of recent situations and project your own outcome if you had acted as you wanted. The desire to change something will disappear immediately, a feeling of pride and a feeling that everything has been done correctly will appear. This way you will learn to hear yourself and act in your own interests. The main thing is that introspection does not remain a theory. Don't be afraid to argue your point of view and defend your position. Each “won battle” gives confidence.
An insecure person can be seen by incoherent speech, gestures, and absent-minded gaze. Exercises in front of a mirror will help you develop correct, even speech and eliminate excessive gestures. Watch your movements. Before you say something, clearly formulate your thoughts and then say them. Talk to your loved ones more. In dialogue with people you are not shy about, you are not afraid to make a mistake. Reading is great for developing speech skills. External peace will help you find internal peace.
People with a lack of self-esteem often act as victims. They believe that in any situation it is better to remain silent. Weakness is quickly noticed by others and they begin to actively assert themselves. This turns into a vicious circle and leads to serious worries and soul-searching.
To get out of the victim role, first of all, stop showing your depression and confusion - the expected reaction. Pull yourself together and pretend that the conflict doesn’t bother you. Clearly formulate your response to the attack and respond to the offender. A raised, even tone will enhance the effect of the answer. Such an unexpected turn will discourage the opponent and eliminate the desire to look for a reason for conflict.
Lack of self-esteem is an excellent breeding ground for depression and despondency. Learn to move away from it. Make it a habit, if something happens, not to be disappointed, but to be happy. During difficult emotional periods, treat yourself to a trip to a cafe or shopping - this is a great way to forget about your problems and understand that not everything is so bad.
Form your perception of life. Stop living and acting in the interests of others, trying to please and being afraid to say no. Assess your character strengths and weaknesses: write down your “pros” and “cons” on a piece of paper. Next to the negative ones, add a quality - a counterweight with which you will change it to a positive one and what actions this will require.
For example:
- Develop optimism from self-criticism. Look for the good in everything – “The glass should be half full, not half empty.”
- Develop hardness from softness of character. Learn to say no, defend and argue your interests.
- Develop discipline from lack of composure. Create a clear daily routine, keep a diary, and make sure that at the end of the day each item is completed.
Often, a lack of self-esteem develops against the background of great ambitions. A plan that fails to be realized instills uncertainty in strength and loss of self-confidence. You need to think realistically. Assess your strengths and select achievable goals, break a large goal into several small ones and achieve them. You need to treat failures as experience and avoid making mistakes in the future.
Self-esteem is formed not only by moral manifestations. External changes always have a positive effect on your attitude towards yourself. Take care of your appearance, sign up for a sports section. It’s not for nothing that they say that “a healthy mind is in a healthy body.” At the section you can find the support of like-minded people and new friends, and the results of the work done will result in respect and self-confidence.
Forget about self-criticism and pity. Self-flagellation closes the opportunity to see the real you and sets you up for a negative outcome of events. Love yourself, praise yourself. A good attitude is developed independently. Your own positioning determines the attitude of others. Look at yourself only from the positive side, correct shortcomings, be proud of your achievements.
Is it hard to start? Don't be afraid to ask for help. Thematic trainings and seminars will be a great start. You can start by reading a book on personal growth or an autobiography of an interesting person.
Personal qualities of a self-respecting person
If a man or woman adequately assesses opportunities and treats themselves with respect, then they will have the following qualities:
- Pay attention to your health.
- Don't waste time judging and discussing other people.
- Constantly developing and improving.
- They do not criticize and compare their achievements with the successes of others.
A person with adequate self-esteem knows how to understand people and prefers to work on himself.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
Personality problems with low self-esteem
Self-esteem is an independent quality of everyone, which is formed independently of the outside world, psychologists, and so on. According to Maslow, self-esteem consists of self-esteem and the respect of others for one's personality.
That is, learn to analyze self-esteem using a “divide and conquer” strategy. Self-esteem does not represent a single concept - you must understand your role in society. Every man is a husband, son, father, employee, boss, lover, driver, philosopher, poet, musician, theorist, analyst, author of this article...
The more roles you remember, the more you notice your own impact on the world around you - this is self-esteem. Analyze each of these criteria, realizing where you are doing well and where you need to improve. You can’t be ashamed of your shortcomings and achievements—awareness of your own qualities is worth a lot. On the path of self-esteem, as a degree of personal self-development, it is necessary to constantly analyze oneself, understanding the non-criticality of shortcomings. Strive for perfectionism in every area of your life without questioning it. The task before you is to clean the apartment, but it can take a lot of time, so it’s better not to start... But the work you start must be completed - this is the only way you will learn to love yourself.
Strive to develop, include auto-training in your daily routine, and do more every day - in just a few months, self-esteem will become indestructible.
We are faced with constant criticism from outsiders who repeat: “you won’t achieve anything, you won’t earn money for this car, you won’t go to Cyprus, you don’t have money, what can you do?” Forget about these people and prove to yourself the limitless capabilities of a person by conquering new heights. Self-knowledge, self-development and self-improvement are the key to unbending self-esteem and success in life.
Showing a lack of self-esteem
Signs of a lack of self-respect can appear even in strong personalities.
This problem is accompanied by:
- distrust of other people;
- doubt about the importance or necessity of the matter;
- low self-confidence;
- a constant feeling that others do not like him;
- suspicions of deception;
- feeling of loneliness in society.
Such people find it difficult to communicate with others, they withdraw into themselves and prefer not to share their experiences.
Reasons for loss of self-esteem
If a person does not set priorities correctly and sets inflated goals for himself, then he will not have enough self-esteem. In this case, there is no adequate awareness of one’s needs, excessive irritability appears and the ability to demonstrate the best qualities is lost.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
Loss of self-esteem occurs due to failures at work or in your personal life.
If there is a lack of confidence, then a person is afraid to show himself as a promising person, hides or denies his own talents.
Why is it important to be able to value yourself?
You need to value and respect yourself in order to be happy. We show the world how we can be treated:
- if you don’t respect and value yourself, then those around you won’t either;
- if you don't take care of yourself, then neither will those around you;
- if you do not value your work, then the employer will not value it;
- if you treat yourself like a draft horse, then your family members will treat you that way;
- if you often criticize, scold and insult yourself, then other people will behave the same way;
- if you devalue yourself, then those around you will not take into account your feelings, needs, opinions;
- if you take on someone else's responsibility and solve other people's problems, then those around you will throw more and more of their business onto you.
And so on - an undeveloped sense of self-esteem deprives a person of life. If you want your life to change and for others to treat you differently, then start treating yourself differently. Build and maintain self-esteem.
Anyone who does not have a developed sense of self-worth lives the life of an invisible person. It seems to him that he weighs nothing in society and does not decide anything in his life. In fact, it doesn’t matter whether he exists or not. Moreover, in fact, a person can perform many functions at home and at work. And, like any other person, he is talented. But he himself does not understand this. He believes that he does not deserve a good life.
Ways to develop self-esteem
If self-esteem has been lost, it can be regained. A person will not consider himself self-sufficient if he happens to lose confidence in his own abilities.
You can cultivate self-esteem in the following ways:
- Accept yourself. This means that you need to give up the idea of pleasing others, stop sacrificing your interests for the sake of public well-being. If a person loves and accepts himself, then it is important for him to develop his personal traits. He strives for personal development; it is important for him to prove his worth.
- Independence. The principles of self-sufficiency do not develop immediately. Efforts are required to become independent from the opinions of society. But thanks to this, a person will realize his talents and dreams. Maintaining your own judgments if they are not the same as those of other people is quite difficult, since you will have to constantly defend your opinion and be sure that it is correct.
- Self-realization. If a person is passionate about something, he feels happiness. This gives him the strength to change his life for the better. Therefore, everyone needs self-respect. Without it, no one sees prospects and achieves success.
- Ignoring criticism. Often, being in a certain social environment, a person loses his individuality. He cannot fully control his life. Only a self-sufficient person, you don’t need to take criticism to heart, it’s important to distance yourself from it. If you ignore negative messages addressed to you, this will get rid of your complexes. This also includes the ability to forgive mistakes.
If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .
Signs of self-esteem include the ability to assess perspectives correctly. The need for this feeling helps to reach new heights.
Selfishness and self-development
Society perceives egoists as characters who live only for their own benefit. But is each of us capable of doing as much for others as for ourselves? We are not talking about individual actions, but about conscious actions. Perhaps the actions we take are only for personal benefit. Let's figure out what selfishness is and how it affects the self-development of an individual.
In the process of human development, the needs for a better life are constantly growing. A hundred years ago, no one had a clue about television, airplanes and the Internet, while today everyone needs it. Technological progress prolongs life, making it comfortable and safe, which coincides with the main requirements of a person. Such egoism is called healthy and reasonable, without negative consequences for the outside world. It does not affect self-development, and often stimulates self-improvement, and with it progress.
The problem is a person’s oversaturation with comfort and pleasure, which turns into an overabundance of desires and selfishness. If previously people did not have opportunities for recreation and entertainment, news was transmitted for weeks, but today the amount of information and temptations exceeds all imaginable boundaries.
Unfortunately, the world is replete with the most primitive pleasures suitable for the body and psyche. But, the lack of spiritual rest encourages the search for better quality time. Over time, a person realizes that the joy of life, spiritual and family happiness is the main goal of each of us. But, before the person realizes this, he is looking for other ways to satisfy needs, which leads to an open degree of selfishness.
Self Esteem Test
Diagnosis of the level of self-respect is carried out using the Rosenberg scale. The determination is made based on the answers to the questions. Numbers indicate agreement or disagreement opposite the statement:
- 4 – complete agreement;
- 3 – consent;
- 2 – disagreement;
- 1 – absolute disagreement.
The test consists of statements showing a person’s attitude towards himself and his opinion about his own qualities. Next to each question they put the corresponding number and at the end the results are calculated.
If, for example, the result is from 10 to 18 points, there is not enough self-respect, the person is inclined to blame himself and sees only shortcomings. 18-22 points indicate a balance between self-respect and self-abasement; opinion constantly fluctuates in different directions. 23-34 points indicate that a person adequately assesses abilities and talents, but is prone to self-flagellation in case of failure. If the subject scores 35-40 points, then he respects personal and professional qualities.
A person needs self-esteem more than the recognition of others. In this way, self-development and comprehension of the spiritual world are achieved.
Sometimes self-esteem decreases, this happens if failures occur frequently, but there are methods to return it to normal.
If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .
The essence of selfishness
The ego is an instrument of the human psyche that requires practicality, prudence and self-interest. Ego in itself does not make a person an egoist; the problem is vanity, pride and humiliation. Suffering lies in ignorance of the essence of existence. Self-esteem ranges from collapse to unimaginable highs. As a result, selfishness becomes a way out for those suffering from rudeness and ignorance. A tough personality runs away from negativity by adopting an indifferent attitude towards others, which is practicality at the level of primitive times.
In order to achieve a goal, a vulnerable person takes more subtle steps in getting what he wants, without ceasing to be an egoist. A person with life experience is able to predict in advance the result of his own actions, presenting selfishness as altruism and benefit for others. An intelligent person does good to others so that others do good to him.
Self-esteem, as the degree of personal self-development, implies the human ego as a concept that is worthy of love, joy and happiness. A person himself demands recognition and approval through his actions. Moderate egoism leads to the development of inner peace, if you do not hide from the outside, and fight for the common good. Such an ego reveals the essence of human nature. We do not call problems valor and nobility, the main thing is to understand where the material world ends and the spiritual world begins.
