Sympathy is the ability of a person to feel the sadness, suffering, sadness of others, to experience the grief that other people experience. The ability to sympathize with someone else’s grief helps a person to be more pleasant to communicate with and establish relationships with others. A sympathetic person knows how to provide support, encouragement, reassurance, and this at the same time becomes an incentive for someone to start looking for a solution to the problem that has arisen. If an individual is characterized by empathy and compassion, it is easy to establish contact with him, such people usually do not evaluate or criticize actions or beliefs, these people are simply ready to devote part of their time and attention to you during the necessary period of life.
What is empathy
We learn empathy from infancy, most often by copying the behavior of our parents and close relatives. It is very important to show your child ways to express sympathy. If the child is accustomed to being sympathized and supported after any failure, he will show himself in the same way as an adult.
Buddhism reveals the phenomenon of empathy and compassion as a thirst to free others from suffering. Buddhists believe that the essence of humanity is compassion, love and kindness. To express empathy, humanity also needs wisdom.
An interesting view of empathy was described by David Myers in his work “Social Psychology,” where the author gives a psychological description of empathy. Any exciting situation in someone’s life possibly awakens so-called distress in our subconscious.
Myers took as a basis three factors of sympathetic expression of feelings. Firstly, by reacting with sympathy to the depressed state of mind of an individual, our psyche unconsciously reduces its distress to nothing and removes the internal feeling of guilt. Myers called this veiled selfishness. Secondly, by sympathizing, we can, distracting ourselves from our own experiences, switch to the experiences of others. Thirdly, we are pushed to express sympathy by generally accepted rules. By rules we mean the expectations of society that dictate specific behavior and emotional reactions. This can be described as tact, good manners and humanity.
The ability to sympathize with others is a key trait in the character of a practicing psychologist. Carl Rogers believed that without this quality the work of a psychologist would be impossible. He describes that compassion (sympathy, empathy) is a fundamental trait of the therapist in the therapeutic relationship with the patient, and a basic requirement for personal change in the client himself. Rogers' characterization of empathy was as follows: the phenomenon is a complex process involving awareness of the role, experiences and principles of the individual. However, you need to realize that this is not a primitive recognition of a person’s experiences, as well as the ability to timely go beyond the boundaries of the situation that has arisen and evaluate it from a new perspective.
Sympathy and compassion are very often used as synonyms, but the difference in these terms can be described as follows: compassion is a feeling of sadness, and empathy is a state of mind that can bring a feeling of joy to life.
Blog / What is empathy (and how is it different from sympathy)?
In English there are two similar words sympathy and empathy - both with the same root, but all the magic lies in the prefix. πάθος in Greek means “passion”, “suffering”, “feeling”, the prefix sym- ( συμ- ) - “with, together”; prefix em- ( ἐν ) – “in”. If sympathy is COMPASSION, then empathy is Feeling. We often don't see the difference between empathy and compassion, but there is one. Sympathy is an emotional reaction to another person’s complaint, a sympathetic attitude towards his experiences. Empathy is the ability to psychologically put oneself in a person’s place, recognize and name his feelings. Sympathy can be shown formally, empathy cannot.
By sympathizing, we want to console, give advice on a matter, assess the situation, share experience, or even magically change the situation with one remark. If you think about it, this is a position “above” another, without the desire to join his feelings. Psychotherapist Carl Rogers called this “appreciative understanding from an external position.” Sympathy promotes separation; it “works to create distance.” We cannot truly support a person if we are emotionally far away from him.
Imagine that a friend tells you something like this: “My husband is at work all the time and helps very little with the children. I’ll hang myself soon.” How do we automatically react to such words? “At least you have a family!” “Yeah, you probably feel bad. But then I left my husband, and it immediately became easier.” “Don’t be upset! Go on vacation and everything will get better.” Such words are nothing more than an attempt to dress up the experience - to show that everything is not so bad. Few people feel better after such sympathy.
What happens when we respond to other people's complaints like this? We brush off the problem, protect ourselves from emotional contact with it, and devalue the feelings of the one who is suffering. We convey to the person: “stop feeling this - it’s hard, and I don’t want it.” To understand the pain of another, you need to be in contact with your own pain.
What is empathy?
Empathy has four essential components:
- Step into the other person's shoes and assume that their point of view is true for them at the moment.
- Don't judge or evaluate. By showing empathy, we affirm that every person has the right to experience any feelings in all their depth and intensity and to experience them as long as necessary.
- Recognize the feeling and name it. By naming a feeling, you help a person master it. No wonder the ancients said: to know a name is to have power.
- To feel with another, to enter into his experience. Tell the person: “I’m nearby, I know what it’s like for you here.” The fundamental point is not to merge with another in his suffering, but to look at the situation through the eyes of the one who is experiencing it.
How to show empathy?
This can be done in different ways. Let’s take a familiar example: “My husband is at work all the time and helps very little with the children. I'll hang myself soon"
How to respond empathetically? “It seems like you’re completely desperate,” “(I can’t) imagine how lonely and bitter you are,” “I don’t know how to support you. You must be terribly tired,” “I’m listening to you, but inside everything is seething with indignation. I can imagine how angry you are with your husband” - it doesn’t matter what you say, it’s important to join someone else’s experience. Sometimes empathy is expressed by a thoughtful “uh-huh” and confusion.
A person who is supported empathetically sees that they are not alone. He turns inward, realizes that his feelings are legitimate, and begins to comprehend them. He meets his own feelings and becomes the author of his own experience.
I would like to end with the words of Carl Rogers again (he was one of the main ambassadors of empathy): “There is risk in understanding. If I allow myself to understand another person, then with understanding I change. And we are all afraid of change. To understand means to become twice as rich. I learn from the experiences of clients and become a different, I think, more responsible person.”
PS If you need more visual examples, watch this cartoon
What is more important: sympathy or real help?
Have you ever faced the question: how to help a loved one? Will you listen and provide moral support or throw all your resources into resolving the complexity? It is impossible to give a categorical answer to this question; you should start from the prevailing circumstances, conditions and the person who approached you. For one person, a financial problem is just a temporary difficulty, for another it is a complete disaster! Therefore, when providing support, it is necessary to take into account the characteristics and characteristics of a person. Regarding your direct participation, there are big risks here; by solving problems for your loved ones, you are placing obligations for their lives on your personal account. Subsequently, he will lose the incentive to solve on his own, and at the first difficulties he will simply look for someone else to find a solution instead of him. Also, your sincere help will not be appreciated and as a result there will be more complaints and reproaches against you than the gratitude you deserve. With empathy, things are a little different. When a person speaks out, shares with you the moments that bothered or upset him, feels that he is understood and supported, he has resources for further movement. By also discussing the problem with loved ones, you can find a solution where it was not even considered before. But if we become too immersed in the problems of others, then we begin to live someone else’s life, while devaluing our own. The main thing is to realize that empathy and compassion are wonderful, but how do we deal with our own questions? Do not lose sight of the fact that everyone is responsible for the outcome of their decisions and actions. Protect yourself from the burden of other people's problems.
Don’t rush to improve someone else’s life, listen, help the person not to keep everything to himself, because sometimes even silent participation is enough to help.
Meaning of the word sympathy
However, I am forced to resort to explanations by necessity, due to the unscientific - and recently widespread - nature of the use of this word: instead of using it in its proper meaning, such as “sympathy, that is, the ability to feel the feelings of one’s neighbor, be it anger, hatred, love, pity or approval,” the word “sympathy” has become a simple synonym for the word “compassion”; hence the barbarously ugly expression arose, widely accepted by many authors: “sympathy for one’s neighbor” instead of “sympathy for one’s neighbor.”
It was sympathy that pushed me, Tyutchev is right, all considerations of the mind can be refuted, other reasons can be found for arguments, but sympathy is given in addition to logic, considerations of benefit; sympathy comes to the soul through those secret ways in which music, colors, and poetry reach and affect us.
I have just published Rosa Alchemica, a short work on the alchemists, somewhat reminiscent in its manner of the writings of Sir Thomas Browne, and have received many letters from admirers of the arcane sciences, reproaching me for my “timidity,” for they could not believe that such obvious sympathy their faith is only the artist’s sympathy, which is akin to pity - sympathy for everything that ignites human hearts from century to century.
But sympathy, I mean official sympathy through legal prosecution, is not, in my opinion, the kind of sympathy that can help Alice.
I noticed that things were wrapped, not in the store, but when I returned home and found in one of the bags the old woolen pullovers that Gil's daughters didn't take to college and a ski cap frayed on one edge, which only increased my sympathy for The Bucknems are in their misfortune.) I couldn’t kick him out of work, holding in my hands a bunch of gifts for my guys and all proceeding with sympathy.
If, for example, a young educated Greek of the time of Pericles was bored sitting with his wife, who knew nothing but her slaves and woolen yarn, then he loudly accused her of stupidity and went with his cheerful friends to a fashionable hetaera, where, of course, he found complete sympathy for his family grief, and after sympathy he sought consolation.
What she took for sympathy at the very beginning of their relationship was really sympathy, moreover, grief, but not in relation to her, but towards himself.
Of course, it would all end with an offer to buy an insurance policy, but the policy is a policy, and sympathy is sympathy.
He must love, suffer and fight with his people, and only then will he be able to speak on their behalf with sympathy and passion, touching the minds and hearts of other peoples and arousing universal sympathy and understanding.”
G. Tyutchev understands that Russia must be Russia, that is, a Slavic land in its origin and in its spiritual principles, understands that the highest inalienable spiritual principle of Russia is the Orthodox faith, that as a Slavic land, as a single independent Slavic and Orthodox power, Russia forms the support of the entire Orthodox and Slavic world and is united by inextricable sympathy with all co-religionists and with all its Slavic brothers, that this sympathy is the vital condition of its existence.
Additional synonyms (20)
treat favorably, like, sympathy, worry, grieve, kill, support, grieve, grieve, lament, mourn, be sad, grieve, spare, love, adore, skimp, alleviate, idealize, cuddle
Didn't find the synonym you need?
1. Offers to “sympathize.” 2. The meaning of the word. 3. Antonyms for “sympathize.” 4. Printing, . 5. Rhymes. 6. Associations “sympathize”.
With the same beginning: sympathy, I sympathize, sympathetic, sympathetically, sympathetic
With the same ending: to feel, to feel, to feel, not to feel, capable of acutely feeling
Other words that start with s, words starting with s and words that end with s
Synonyms:
Top ↑ Dictionary of synonyms Association Dictionary of antonyms
How to develop empathy?
Having thoroughly understood what empathy is, we can conclude that it is a very useful skill. It is really worth developing in order to improve your relationships with others. There are several universal tips that will help anyone develop empathy, even if they have little or no natural ability to do so.
Expand your social circle
Over the years, it becomes more difficult for us to let new people into our lives, especially if they are very different from us. You need to fight this conservatism and interact more often with people outside your social circle. Are you scared by numerous tattoos, piercings, unusual hairstyles and strange clothes? Try to communicate with such a person, and it is likely that you will get rid of some of your prejudices, and at the same time your level of empathy will increase. Communicate with “other” people and learn to see the world through their eyes. This is a very powerful exercise that will teach you to better understand other people's motives, goals and emotions.
Learn to listen
Listening is one of the main skills of empaths, as they notice how people's moods change when they are allowed to talk. Learn to listen and force yourself to do it constantly. Every time you communicate, pay attention to whether you are listening to your interlocutor or simply trying to tell more on your own without really listening to his remarks. Listening is an important part of being empathetic.
To become a good conversationalist, do five simple exercises:
- Focus on the topic of conversation. During communication, we often “have our heads in the clouds,” thinking about work or family problems. Try to avoid this by delving into the topic you're talking about. Listen to the other person and respond thoughtfully.
- Don't interrupt. Always let your interlocutor complete the phrase, even if it seems to you that you have already grasped his thought and are ready to answer.
- Periodically summarize what has been said. When the interlocutor completes the thought, paraphrase it briefly and clarify whether you understood everything correctly. This will develop in you the habit of listening more carefully, analyzing in detail the meaning of what is said. The interlocutor will be pleased that you listen carefully and attach meaning to his words.
- Ask clarifying questions. This exercise, like the previous one, will teach you to listen more carefully to your interlocutor, and will show him that you are interested in his thoughts.
- Take breaks. There is no need to start speaking immediately after the other person finishes speaking. A pause of one or two seconds will allow you to better formulate your thought, and the interlocutor will be able to add something to what was said without interrupting you. In addition, people who endure such pauses are usually considered very adequate and reasonable.
Active listening is not only a great exercise for developing empathy, but also a valuable social skill. Each interlocutor will have a positive impression after communicating with you, because all people love to be listened to carefully.
Read works of fiction
Even knowing full well that the characters in the novel are fictional, we still sympathize with them. At the same time, most works of fiction are written in such a way as to focus the reader’s attention on the experiences of the main characters. The authors strive to convey the character’s emotions as much as possible, to show his development taking into account his experience. Thanks to this, empathy can awaken even in a person who in ordinary life is deprived of this ability. There are studies showing that classic fiction is much better at developing empathy than modern fiction.
Communicate in stressful situations
It is known that stressful situations contribute to the rapid and strong emotional rapprochement of people (take this into account when planning your next date). In this regard, empathy in a state of stress manifests itself much more strongly. Of course, stress means any exciting situation that provokes the release of adrenaline. Active games, sports, even regular video games, if there is enough excitement in them, make people more open emotionally. And this is a great opportunity to practice empathy.
In Dahl's dictionary
to whom, to what, to feel according to, together, at the same time; understand, think alike; to lean towards someone out of feeling, affection, love; compassionate. I sympathize with your intentions. There is somehow little sympathy for this enterprise. -sya, impersonal. One involuntarily sympathizes with a good deed. Sympathy, mutual friendship, affection, love, affection, attraction, compassion, sympathy; the same feelings with whom; an invisible, spiritual, moral connection, which is expressed involuntarily by feeling; unconscious guessing, knowledge. Calluses ache and bones ache before bad weather, out of inexplicable sympathy. Clairvoyants, by sympathy, know in absentia, distant, unknown to others. They got along the first time, out of sympathy. Sympathy for the cause, disposition towards it, desire for its success. He spoke sympathetically about this matter. An unsympathetic person who does not inspire sympathy, is antipathetic.
In philosophy
Friedrich Nietzsche paid some attention to the topic of compassion. He assessed this phenomenon negatively, considering it destructive:
Compassion is the opposite of tonic affects, which increase the energy of the vital feeling; it acts in a depressing way. Through compassion, strength is lost. Compassion further increases and complicates the loss of strength caused to life by suffering. Suffering itself is made contagious through compassion; under certain circumstances, through compassion, such an amount of damage to life and vital energy is achieved that is in an absurdly exaggerated ratio to the magnitude of the cause (the case of the death of a Nazarene). This is the first point of view, but there is also a more important one. If we measure compassion by the value of the reactions it usually evokes, then its danger to life is even clearer. Compassion generally contradicts the law of development, which is the law of selection. It supports what must perish, it stands up for the disadvantaged and condemned by life; By supporting failures of all kinds in life, it makes life itself gloomy and arousing doubt.
— F. Nietzsche “Antichrist. A curse on Christianity"
{{beginning of quotation} }Schopenhauer was right: compassion negates life, it makes it more worthy of negation - compassion is the practice of nihilism.
— F. Nietzsche “Antichrist. A curse on Christianity"[4]
As A. A. Chanyshev writes, from Kant’s point of view, compassion has limited moral value due to the fact that it is blind, unreasonable, and therefore immoral[5].
Notes
- [www.berzinarchives.com/web/ru/archives/sutra/level2_lamrim/advanced_scope/bodhichitta/compassion_source_happiness.html His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV - Compassion as a source of happiness. Nottingham, England, May 24, 2008]
- [www.berzinarchives.com/web/ru/archives/sutra/level2_lamrim/advanced_scope/bodhichitta/compassion_based_biology_reason.html His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV - Compassion based on biology and reason. Prague, Czech Republic, October 11, 2006]
- [mandala.com.ua/klyuch-eto-sochuvstvie-i-mudrost/ The key is compassion and wisdom - Mandala yoga]
- [www.philosophy.ru/library/nietzsche/antichrist.html Antichrist. A curse on Christianity. F. Nietzsche]
- [iph.ras.ru/elib/2850.html Encyclopedia]
In the dictionary Complete accentuated paradigm according to A. A. Zaliznya
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