In this article we will tell you:
- A woman's contribution to her husband's loss of respect for her
- If the reason is in the husband
- Shows of disrespect
- How to make the right decision
- How can a woman regain her self-respect?
- When does it make sense to fight for a relationship?
- 5 practical tips from psychologists
Sometimes in family life women face disrespect from their spouse. The reasons for this are different. And how to make a husband respect his wife and be afraid of losing her? We'll talk about this in the article.
Every couple wants to maintain a relationship for as long as possible, preferably for life. A man and a woman usually start a family in a state of love, when everything seems rosy.
But over time, family life reveals different facets of the personality of both spouses, including not the best ones. Psychological science helps prevent discord and experience difficulties in relationships.
A woman's contribution to her husband's loss of respect for her
The reasons why a husband stopped treating a woman with tenderness are varied. Conventionally, they can be divided into
Ungroomed wife
Everyone knows that women love with their ears. But often the weaker sex forgets that men also need to nourish their love feelings, and the appearance of the other half plays an important role in this. Before the wedding, girls carefully look after themselves, trying not to lose their boyfriend, and after marriage a metamorphosis occurs.
Of course, in family life a couple faces many worries - small children, work, financial difficulties. But even if you don’t have the opportunity or desire to visit expensive salons, you can always find time to wash and style your hair and put on clean, neat clothes. After a difficult day at work, a man still deserves to see not an aunt in a dirty robe, but a beloved woman who cares about her appearance.
Communication style
This point is similar to the previous one, only we will talk not about external, but about internal filling. If for a long time a man has heard nothing but discontent and “sawing” at home, over time his wife’s speech will cause him nothing but irritation.
No matter how much he loves his wife, he will not be able to resist negative feelings. As in the famous proverb: “A drop wears away a stone.” He will either remain silent or answer questions sharply.
Why does a wife's behavior change after marriage?
Surely everything was fine with you before the wedding. She was sweet, yielded, admired you, but after several years of cohabitation she turned into a hysteric and a vixen. Various trainers on male psychology call the wife’s past behavior “demo mode”, and say that when she “turns it off”, it is useless to correct everything. This is usually not true.
The wife's changed bad behavior can be caused by various reasons. This could be physical fatigue, hormonal imbalance, internal depression against the background of age-related changes or childbirth, or personal crises.
All men should remember about the physiological and personal factors before they begin to raise their spouse.
Remember one very important truth:
If a child cries and misbehaves because he is tired, it is useless to scold and spank him, he will only yell more. He needs to be consoled and put to sleep, and educated when he comes to his senses.
Very often, the man himself provokes his wife’s incorrect behavior through his inaction and concessions. He initially set himself up as a non-conflict equal partner, constantly endured whims, left family management to chance, spoiled his wife, voluntarily took on most of the responsibilities around the house, and thus himself dropped his authority through the floor.
If the reason is in the husband
Unfortunately, it happens that a wise wife has analyzed her behavior, corrected her shortcomings and is trying with all her might to maintain peace in the family, but the husband does not change his attitude. In this case, we need to talk about whether the cause of the discord is in the spouse himself. What points are we talking about?
Selfishness and infantilism of the husband
Psychology believes that selfish behavior is rooted in the lack of independence and immaturity of the individual’s psyche. Such a person is accustomed to having someone else make all the important decisions for him.
He lives only for his own pleasure, avoiding any unpleasant moments. Therefore, when his wife does not agree with his opinion and offers another solution to the problem, this greatly irritates him.
By and large, an egoist respects no one but himself. No matter how patient the other half is, it will not be easy for them to get along. Only strong love and acceptance will help smooth out the rough edges in such relationships.
Sometimes this gives results, and the infantile person finally begins to think about responsibility and not blame everyone around him for failures. He gains respect for his wife for tolerating his shortcomings. But whether his half’s feelings will disappear during this difficult time, the question remains open.
Financial dependence on a man
In our country, a common family model is where the man is the breadwinner and the woman takes care of the house. Many couples like this position. It allows a man to feel like the head, the master of this small world, where everything depends on his decision.
This situation relieves women of financial responsibility and the need to be torn between home and work.
It would seem, what could be the catch if the spouses are happy with everything? In fact, a woman in such a relationship, due to financial dependence on her husband, also becomes psychologically dependent.
Something happens in a man’s life - problems at work, he liked another woman, or his own wife simply began to irritate him - all this will affect his wife. Most often she has nowhere to go, especially with children; finding a good job without experience is also unlikely.
Aggression
This aspect of male behavior is worth special consideration, because a woman’s response to it should be quick and unambiguous.
If in the case of selfishness there is hope of finding a common language, especially if the husband himself is ready to improve, and financial dependence can be prevented from the beginning, then aggression cannot be changed on one’s own.
Often violence, including physical violence, is accompanied by alcohol abuse and drug addiction.
Many women mistakenly believe that if they are patient, the situation will improve. But the experience of psychologists, social services and law enforcement agencies shows that male aggressors do not find the strength to stop immoral behavior.
You should not expect either respect or fear of losing your spouse from such a partner - if it appears, it will be until the next outburst of anger.
Mental illness
Many mental illnesses manifest themselves quite early - in childhood or adolescence. But what if such a disease began when the person was already married?
In this case, is it worth looking for ways to make a husband respect his wife and be afraid of losing her?
Without a doubt, it is painful to realize that a loved one periodically turns into someone alien and often aggressive. I want to return everything, endure it and wait for a happy ending. Sometimes, in cases of indolent disease, this tactic works for a while.
But, for example, schizophrenia is dangerous because of its unpredictability and obsessions. Therefore, it is important to make the right decision in time and put the safety of yourself and your children, if any, first.
Shows of disrespect
Just recently, the husband was gentle and caring, but now a woman increasingly feels uncomfortable in communicating with him. Sometimes she cannot fully understand that her husband has ceased to respect her and, apart from irritation, feels nothing.
Let's list the clear signs that feelings have cooled.
- Constant reproaches and reproaches, expressions of dissatisfaction.
- There are few or no tender words in speech.
- A man can insult his wife with obscene and offensive language.
- The husband does not seek to hug or caress his wife.
- Conversations in such a family do not go well; they are short, to the point, or with irritation.
- A man is bored with his wife, he strives to spend more time outside the home, in the company of friends.
- Ridicule or lack of interest in the wife's hobbies, work and hobbies.
- Disrespect for a woman’s moral values, constant teasing on this basis.
- A man who does not respect his wife allows himself to humiliate her not only with words, but also with actions. Often this is expressed in the use of force to fulfill his whims.
- Depending on the character, the spouse either begins to completely control the woman, her communication, work, travel, or is absolutely indifferent to her and is not interested in her life.
How to make the right decision
Living in such an environment often becomes unbearable, and the woman thinks about how to change the situation. There are two ways out - either leave such a man, or try to regain his respect for yourself. Each option has its pros and cons, the main thing is to understand which is more.
In the case when a woman tries her best to save her family, endures her husband’s attacks, takes every action to bring love back into the relationship, but all in vain, it makes sense to think about divorce.
Marriage is not a game of one goal, it is a home that two people build. This especially applies to violent men with addictions and mental illnesses. But sometimes even an adequate man can become offended or change his life attitudes so much that it becomes impossible to return love.
But, fortunately, most men also want to build trusting and close relationships. Anything can happen in life: resentment, fatigue, problems. But even a frozen heart can be thawed again if you choose the right behavior. Let's talk about this now.
Start respecting yourself
As Alexandre Dumas wrote in one of his well-known works: “Show that you respect yourself, and they will respect you.” And this is the true truth. Those around you always subconsciously feel your attitude towards yourself and if it is not as good as it should be, they treat you in the same way. Therefore, if you have long ceased to respect your own principles, have given up on your dreams and given up at least some modicum of personal freedom, your husband will treat you in the same way.
Remember what you were like before. What were they aiming for? How they wanted to build their life. Well, if you have suffered from self-doubt before, now is the time to identify a new direction vector for yourself and learn to move according to its direction. Determine important life principles for yourself and do not allow anyone to violate them. Let those around you learn to take your opinion into account and respect your words.
How can a woman regain her self-respect?
Before taking any action, it is important to understand what caused this situation. The result will then be achieved faster, and this will happen again later.
Women who are prone to introspection find it easier to understand themselves and understand whether she has provoked a man with her actions.
At the same time, knowing his weaknesses, the wife can develop certain behavioral tactics that will make the man afraid of losing his wife.
First
The first and basic rule is that no one will respect a woman if she does not respect herself. Now the husband is taking out his irritation on her, then it will be the children. You need to find your strengths and focus on them.
Perhaps it’s culinary skills, or maybe organizational skills. It is important to have your own “territory” that no one can enter without permission. A woman who is tired after work has the right to rest, and a woman working from home has the right to silence.
Second
When a woman learns to respect herself, it will be easier for her to teach her husband to do the same. Basic gratitude for a delicious dinner or cleanliness in the house should not be something extraordinary.
A man needs to realize that his wife performs her household duties voluntarily and can stop doing so at any time. For example, because I haven’t heard “thank you” addressed to me for a long time.
Third
Self-love also manifests itself in taking care of your body. This is why it is difficult to sympathize with sloppy women who, due to laziness, do not take care of their figure and appearance.
No matter how much a man loves his wife at the beginning of the relationship, it will become increasingly difficult for him to maintain strong feelings if she is not well-groomed.
The fight against excess weight, a beautiful hairstyle, a fresh look and suitable makeup, stylish clothes - you cannot do without this in search of self-respect.
Fourth
The inner world is no less important than the appearance. A woman may look like a model, but there is nothing to talk to her about. In addition to purely feminine hobbies, such as needlework, for example, it is not a bad idea to share hobbies with your husband.
Many women go with their husbands to sports matches or fishing, but traveling and skiing together will be an excellent bonding link. If active recreation is not interesting, most often you can still find a compromise and common topics, if you wish.
Try to spend more time with your spouse
All problems in family relationships begin the moment people in love stop hearing each other. Yes, they seem to talk in the evenings after work, but all this is nothing more than an exchange of a number of standard phrases on everyday topics. If this is the case, and dinners and evenings together have long disappeared from your marriage, bring them back into your life. Sit down to eat together, putting your phones and other gadgets aside, and just talk to each other. Believe me, this way you can become closer again, and from here mutual respect will appear.
When does it make sense to fight for a relationship?
Before you begin the journey of seeking respect from a given man, you need to answer the question: how necessary is this?
There are several relationship options when you shouldn’t waste time:
- a man does not respect and never has respected his wife. He was initially determined to dominate and humiliate, for which he looked for a wife with low self-esteem.
A blow to children
But our children suffer the most from such violence. Unfortunately, among many women there is an opinion that for a child the presence of absolutely any father is very important - even a tyrant and despot, even a name-caller and humiliator, even an alcoholic, as long as there is one. Women console themselves with the fact that he is still their own father. They are even more confident of this if men do not touch children. They endure everything for the sake of marriage and financial assistance.
Naturally, this is a huge misconception. For a child, the mother is always the person who provides him with protection. If they yell at her and cause pain, it means that the baby loses his sense of security. Accordingly, he gets stressed. And this is fraught with negative consequences. Some children begin to steal and lie, others begin to fear death, and still others begin to torture animals.
People rarely connect problems with a child on the one hand and humiliation from a husband on the other. And in vain. The connection is the most direct. Therefore, a woman who wants to maintain peace in her family must definitely figure out how to teach her husband a lesson about disrespect. There are a lot of tips. The main thing is to choose exactly what you need. Stop at the best option.
