- September 13, 2018
- Psychology of relationships
- Valentina Buravleva
Very often, women turn to a psychologist for advice because they are unable to be happy if their beloved husband is not nearby, or if he behaves inappropriately. It would seem that what could be simpler - to love and be loved? But for some people, most often women, this becomes a real challenge.
The problem of too strong feelings
Why can a woman suffer from such a problem, which can be expressed in one phrase - “I love my husband very much”? Oddly enough, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a specific person with whom the lady is madly in love and “can’t live without him,” often she simply lacks male presence and attention in her life. Often the current love that engulfs a woman is not the first case of such a feeling. She experiences similar experiences in relationships with almost all men.
Features of family relationships
What do such feelings lead to? It is believed that love is a bright and wonderful feeling. Theoretically, a woman who often says to her husband the words: “I love you very much, beloved husband!” should live a wonderful life. But in fact, things are far from so rosy.
Most men cannot miss the opportunity to take advantage of a woman's affection and, increasing their self-esteem, play on her fear of being alone, thereby indulging her unhealthy attachment. Naturally, such relationships lead to the destruction of personality, both women and men.
Beautiful declarations of love to your husband
I’ll confess to you one more time, I’ll tell you a hundred more times, that I enjoy you, that I love you very much!
That you are my gentle, my beautiful, that you were sent to me by fate from heaven, I love you very, very much, you are like from a wonderland!
My husband, my glorious, precious, Thank you for always being with me, It’s wonderful to be with you, Together with you until the end!
It happens that we quarrel with you, We are rude at times, And we get offended - it happens, I don’t want to think about sad things! I want to tell you “I love”, Only I could find such a husband in the world, Madly, know, I love you!
I love you, my dear, I love and cherish this strong feeling, I live and breathe you.
You are dearer than everyone else in life, You are the best husband in the world! Stronger day by day Let our union grow stronger!
My love, my destiny. You are the other half without whom I cannot exist. My world, hopes, dreams, dreams - All that is dear to me in the world is you!
Sometimes not everything in life is smooth, But in the midst of the cold, winter frosts, You secretly warmed me, I love you for this, husband!
I am proud of a good husband and I love you so dearly! You are the only one I need in my life, This is happiness, serenity!
Let the Heat of the love potion warm you up in the cold! May friendship always support me, my feelings and smile!
Our closeness is a merging of souls, Our tenderness is a touch of glances. My favorite man is my husband! It’s light and calm with him around.
He is reliable and faithful to me, I do not control him. He is a support in any trouble, He is with me in happiness and in sorrow.
You can be silent with him for hours, because he reads thoughts. He is my candle in the darkness, Fills my life with meaning...
I know that he will go into the fire for me, Even if I didn’t ask. Without each other we are complete zero, But together we are invincible!
We are one. We are a fusion of souls. We are always welcome to each other. My favorite man is my husband! Given to me by fate and given by God!
I am proud of you, my beloved husband, you are dear, you are unique, that’s why I love you! There is no such husband anymore, Happy I took the ticket! And it’s great that we are a family, You’re awesome, I love you!
As a husband, you are the best on the planet! I love you more than anyone in the world! Thank you for giving me days and nights! I love you very, very much!
Although I have been your wife for a long time, And we have a common home, worries, children, But as if in my youth I was in love with you, You are better than all the men in this world.
Learn to pay attention to yourself
From such ladies you can often hear two phrases: “I love my husband very much” and “What should I do?” Indeed, often such attachment begins to bring suffering. Moreover, unsuccessful relationships with the opposite sex are just the tip of the iceberg. The reason most likely lies in the relationship with parents. Obsessiveness in love is evidence that in childhood people received insufficient attention from their parents, and now they seek to compensate for this at the expense of a sexual partner. And in these cases, the woman usually says: “I love my husband very much, I can’t live without him.”
In order not to lose herself in a relationship, a lady must learn to give herself the attention that she would like to receive from her partner. You must be able to listen to your own needs and satisfy them yourself. Often, women who love their spouses too much spend all their energy on satisfying the needs of another person. But today’s phrase “I love my husband very much!” tomorrow may lead to a disregardful attitude on his part. Therefore, it is necessary to switch the focus of attention from the life of your lover to your needs as soon as possible.
Recognize the problem
The first step to freeing yourself from unhealthy relationships is understanding the cause of your addiction to men. Understanding that this feeling is not sincere, but is caused by the need to resolve one’s own internal conflicts at the expense of outsiders. A woman always wants to be needed and feel protected. Without this, she cannot achieve peace of mind. At the same time, the instinct of motherhood and the desire to create a family for a woman in such relationships are in the background or are completely absent.
Therefore, you should not constantly repeat to yourself: “I love my husband very much.” It is useful to rephrase the phrase. For example, as follows: “I have a very strong dependence on men, and on my husband in particular. But I can cope with this problem, since I have enough strength to do so.” Why is this awareness so important? If a dependent woman wants to keep a man, she does not hesitate to use any means. Persuasion, tears, hysterics, threats - this is only part of what she can do. Even realizing that her behavior is wrong, she can hardly control herself. The blind desire to “possess” does not give her the opportunity to calmly think and look at the situation from the outside.
Think about the consequences
Psychology knows many examples when a woman shares her experiences with a specialist: “It seems to me that I love another” or “I love one, but live with another. Help me cope with mental anguish and get out of the situation.” Here the main advice would be this: turn on your common sense and turn off the voice of your heart for a while. After all, if you miss some nuances that are not noticed thanks to rose-colored glasses, the consequences may not be very pleasant:
- First of all, understand for yourself, does your lover need you as a permanent life partner? After all, now he is comfortable, your relationship does not oblige him to anything, but only brings maximum pleasure. He did not plan at all to change his life and support you, and perhaps your children. In addition, a guy can be a very skillful seducer, and you simply fell for beautiful words and affection. And, having left your spouse, you will simply take a rash step and be left with nothing, since it is unclear whether your current lover will accept you or whether you will have to leave him headlong.
- Consider the consequences of divorce proceedings. After all, this is a division of not only property, but also children. And the court may decide not in your favor, leaving you with no opportunity to live with them under the same roof. And will the children themselves, who undividedly love both mom and dad, understand such an act of yours? Of course not. And the divorce of parents may not have the best effect on their psyche.
- Will you be able to endlessly rebuff those around you who will judge and persecute you with unflattering reviews? The status of a cheater can stick with you for a long time. You will have to observe faces filled with contempt from relatives, friends, neighbors and even colleagues. Therefore, before you leave your family and go to your lover, think several times whether you can cope with all possible obstacles. Or perhaps these circumstances are not worth such sacrifices.
Unfortunately, situations are not uncommon in the world when a wife loves another man with an official husband and children from him, or when she loved one and married another. And here it is impossible to give an exact answer on how best to proceed. After all, it is difficult to predict all possible lines of further development of relations. And the choice depends not only on the woman herself, but also on both companions. It is possible that they themselves will refuse it. And then the abandoned lady will be left alone with a broken trough.
Get psychotherapy
Sometimes it can be extremely difficult to heal yourself from love addiction. In this case, you cannot do without the help of a specialist who will help you work through childhood traumas. Even if they are mild, one way or another these early effects on the psyche leave an imprint on a person’s entire life.
Parents begin to make mistakes in raising children from a very early age. In infancy, the mother could underfeed the child, not approach him when he was crying, or ignore him for a long time. There is an opinion that if you do not react to a child’s crying, he will grow up to be independent. This is wrong. The child develops a feeling of fear, he feels abandoned, and is constantly in an anxious state.
The importance of psychotherapeutic work on childhood
The consequences of injuries received at such an early age are dangerous because they are practically unconscious and difficult to correct. Growing up, such a woman realizes: “I love my husband very much, what should I do now? How can I reduce this emotional intensity before it begins to take advantage of my weakness and trample on family values?” The answer to this truly difficult question lies in turning your attention to the past.
Moreover, it is recommended to do this in the company of a qualified psychotherapist. A child raised in an orphanage is completely deprived of parental attention, which cannot but lead to negative consequences. In addition, some children may be subject to overt, gratuitous violence from adults. And even if a child grew up in a complete, prosperous family, he could receive many negative attitudes from his parents that could hinder him in adulthood.
For example, a mother could often reproach her daughter for giving her a lot of trouble, or constantly set up a more obedient child as an example, reproach her for not being serious and it’s time for her to grow up, demand primacy in all endeavors, or, conversely, not allow anything. , afraid that something will happen to her. Having matured, such a woman will feel inferior, which will certainly affect her relationship with her husband. Yes, psychotherapy is quite an expensive pleasure. But if a lady values her family relationships and also wants to develop herself as a person, then all these costs will pay off handsomely in the future.
Cool declarations of love to your husband
My beloved husband is at work, like a tiger on the hunt. Come home quickly, I’ll warm Mammoth for you. I’ll dance by the fire In the skin of a beast for you, And then I’ll pounce as a lioness, To enjoy you! So, honey, hurry up, Let's frolic to our hearts!
What will you eat for dinner? Cooking cabbage soup or sushi? What to wear? Fishnet tights Or is it better to wear a checkered apron, a burqa or a crown? Shall we drink bourbon wine or vodka with potatoes? It’s still difficult for you men to explain! Words are not enough! Okay, I’ll explain it in layman’s terms - This, my dear, is all LOVE!
It is not customary for us to confess our tenderest feelings to spouses. Like, since they are already married, there is nowhere else to go.
But I love and am not embarrassed to say this a hundred times a day. My love for you, my wonderful husband, I won’t make it a secret!
There is no happiness in the world without a husband, Darling, you know this, I will give you whatever you want, I will put the planet on your ears!
I’m glad that you once became my husband, my dear! Because, believe me, I don’t need anyone else.
Prince in a white Mercedes Let it stall around the corner! I feel good where we are, where you and I are together!
Hugs. The purpose of the seizure is to take away your salary! But I will whisper to you tenderly: “Husband, I love you boundlessly!” I will love you doubly if you buy me a fur coat!
Loving you is a blissful peak, After all, we are called wives then, When our beloved man is near us, Then we don’t feel sorry for women’s work.
Cooking borscht and cleaning the apartment makes me happy. I catch myself doing this, What I want to tell the whole world, About how much I love my husband!
Even if sometimes my love is war, But I, my husband, am faithful to you. Even if you hide with friends, or even in the garage, you won’t be able to live without my love. I can assure you in advance: My love will find you everywhere!
Your beer, and football, and Saturdays with friends... How tired of always reading notations! Again I forgot to ask about my mother’s health, I couldn’t stand the trash - well, how many times do I have to remind you!
What can I do - after all, I chose my husband myself. Today I scold you, but tomorrow I praise you! Life will be stormy, I understood this a long time ago... Even though you are harmful, I still love you!
I want to tell you, my husband, with you I’m not afraid of puddles. My love always blooms, And in the rain, and even in the cold.
Increase your self-esteem
A woman who says, “I love my husband very much,” often suffers from low self-esteem. Feeling insufficiently confident, the addict will seek self-affirmation at the expense of others. If she is loved, she feels needed and significant; if she is lonely or rejected, her self-esteem falls, she feels unnecessary and unhappy. Many women subconsciously strive to compensate for the lack of love in childhood at the expense of the attention of their husband or lover. The roots of this problem are also in childhood. But it is quite possible to improve this situation if you work on yourself and try to transform your own character. Look at your experiences from the outside
Another important step towards liberation is to try to abstract yourself from your feelings, to think about why this relationship is really needed. Why does this phrase constantly appear in your mind: “I love my husband very much”? What are the current relationships leading to? Perhaps fate itself wants to convey to such a woman something important about her and her life? Undoubtedly, if a dependent woman begins to work on herself, she will be able to achieve good results in this. And then her life will be much happier - after all, she will become free from the shackles of illusory love.
SMS to your beloved man
Get creative with the blank you need to fill by sending these love SMS to your loved one: kind, caring, gentle, cheerful, loving, best.
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Send this SMS to your beloved man, and a few minutes later follow up with something like: “I just heard our song on the radio.”
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Too corny? Then add a small clarification: I miss your voice, smell, touch, strong hugs.
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If you add a line starting with “because” in this SMS to your beloved man, you can count on a particularly passionate kiss at your next meeting.
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Such messages make it clear that you value his time, and therefore respect him.
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You can send a similar SMS to a guy if you already know about your feelings. It is important for a man to feel needed. This will be a pleasant reminder for him.
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Everyone needs praise from time to time. And if a pleasant reason is also indicated, such an SMS to a man has a double effect.
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Agree, receiving the message “You are the best because you give a wonderful erotic massage” will be a great help for his male ego.
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People who love each other do not need thousands of words to express their regret for what they cannot accomplish. Just apologize if plans were disrupted due to your fault.
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Send this SMS to a man, pause or wait for an affirmative response and send a phrase like: “I just can’t get last night/night with you out of my head!”
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Your support will be especially important for him. And gratitude for the actions he has done, even minor ones, can significantly pamper his ego.
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In addition, reminding him of himself in the form of such SMS will have the opposite effect - he will think more about you, and this will have a positive effect on your relationship.
If we are talking about treason
Sometimes a woman’s thoughts can be occupied by the following problem: “I love my husband very much, but I’m cheating.” Where does this difficulty “grow” from? Even if there are deep feelings towards her husband, but for some reason a woman prefers to spend time with her lover, this does not happen out of the blue. Most likely, there are things that seriously dissatisfy her in her current relationship. And if these problems are not worked out, then sooner or later the family boat will leak - and not necessarily because the wife’s infidelity will be revealed.
It is impossible to have a healthy relationship if one or both partners are not psychologically healthy. A self-sufficient person is capable of experiencing sincere, selfless feelings. Those who have unresolved problems in all respects will strive to resolve them at the expense of others. It is necessary to understand what this problem is and solve it without using close people. And then it will not be difficult for a free individual to build healthy, strong relationships.
Seconded loneliness
You can cheer each other up very effectively by simply and sometimes trivially sending an SMS.
A win-win option is humorous poems, but only if they are concise.
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It is better to read poems about deep and sensual love from memory, looking your soul mate in the eyes over a candlelit dinner, rather than conveying them in a string of messages.
A husband and wife are people who are able to understand each other perfectly. Don't load your SMS messages with a bunch of synonyms.
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You can speak briefly and clearly to your husband. Even if others don't understand you, your husband will understand every word you say.
Cheer up both yourself and your husband. Give a reason to take a little break from business.
It’s much more pleasant to wake up not from a boring alarm clock, but from a pleasant and encouraging morning SMS from the woman you love.
A pleasant SMS full of words of love will delight and surprise even the most, at first glance, strict and serious man.
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Sometimes, a simple but sincere SMS message to your loved one can make your day more joyful and carefree.
