What is male self-sufficiency?
Self-sufficiency of a man - what is it? This is independence and independence in all aspects of life. A self-sufficient man knows how to earn money, is able to feed himself, keep his home clean and create comfort. Such men are busy with self-development and self-education; they have stable hobbies and social circles. If something doesn’t suit them, they immediately change the current circumstances.
Why does a man need self-sufficiency?
It is needed for a man to become a successful specialist and a happy person. Self-sufficiency - what is it for men? The basis of all life. It helps with the following:
- make difficult decisions;
- be guided by reason and logic, not emotions;
- be consistent and persistently move towards the goal;
- plan and organize your life;
- resist stress and difficulties;
- advance your career;
- win disputes and contradictions, get out of conflicts with dignity;
- be resistant to manipulation;
- be able to protect yourself and your loved ones, take care of yourself and them;
- make conscious choices and actions;
- quickly adapt to changing living conditions.
How does self-sufficiency manifest itself in men?
What does the phrase “self-sufficient man” mean? It means strong and confident.
Self-sufficiency is expressed in the following:
- respect for one’s interests and the ability to defend one’s views;
- respect for personal boundaries and worldviews of other people;
- independence from public opinion;
- adequate perception of constructive criticism and the ability to ignore destructive comments;
- self-love and total self-acceptance, knowledge of one’s strengths and weaknesses;
- the ability to admit your mistakes and learn from them;
- independence;
- having purpose and meaning in life, following them;
- understanding your emotions, needs and desires;
- the ability to help and accept help, but not to abuse either one or the other;
- lack of fear, especially fear of loneliness.
Important! The main thing is not to confuse self-sufficiency with selfishness and pride. A self-sufficient man always acts as he sees fit, and does what he wants, and not what supposedly needs to be done. He can care about others, but to do this you need to earn his respect.
Several tests
First of all, understand whether you can become a self-sufficient person. To do this, you can take two tests.
Test one - turn off the TV, phone, social networks. Don't communicate with anyone. Spend the whole day alone, alone with yourself. Listen to your thoughts.
If you immediately become bored and have nothing to do with yourself, then it is unlikely that you will be able to become a self-sufficient man. After all, if a person does not depend on others, it means that he has some kind of hobby that does not let him get bored. Such a person will not have to “kill” time; he will spend every minute usefully.
How to become a self-sufficient man
A step-by-step plan on how to become a self-sufficient man (remember that a person becomes self-sufficient throughout his life):
- Decide on the meaning and purpose of life, desires and needs. Make a step-by-step plan for self-realization. If some tools are still missing, then you need to make a plan for getting them, for example, think about what traits of your character you need to destroy or, conversely, what you need to get rid of in order to achieve your goal.
- Set personal boundaries, work on your sense of self-respect and self-worth.
- Understand who you see next to you and what kind of relationships you are ready to build. If your current relationship doesn’t suit you, then think about whether you can work on it (if so, how) or whether it’s easier to get out of it.
- Be sincere with yourself and others, allow yourself to be yourself. What have you long dreamed of, what have you forbidden yourself, what do you really want?
- Remember your rights and freedom, get out of someone else's control.
- Learn to listen and hear, but never sacrifice yourself. However, this does not mean that you should avoid compromise and mutual concessions to achieve common goals at work or in your personal life.
- Learn to take responsibility for your life and not rely on other people or fate.
- Get a hobby and learn to comfortably spend time alone.
Important! A self-sufficient man has no psychological, material, or physical problems. He lives in the present and clearly sees his future.
About the term
They speak of self-sufficiency when a person does not need anyone for a comfortable life, he is not afraid of loneliness, and he is independent from anyone. He can handle everything on his own, and someone’s praise or approval does not mean much to him. But self-sufficiency can be different - positive and negative.
Positive - also called healthy, a valuable quality for a person. He is successful, self-confident, tries to succeed in everything, clearly knows what he needs from life and takes full advantage of it. And negative - problematic self-sufficiency - is when a person has separated from society and in this way tries to escape from life, from his problems.
You can find out more interesting information by reading John Acuff’s book “Get Started.” Punch fear in the face, stop being “normal” and do something worthwhile.”
How to be a self-sufficient man without a girlfriend
How to be a self-sufficient man without a girlfriend? The same as with her. Moreover, to build a healthy and strong relationship, both participants must be self-sufficient people. Or they both should actively go towards this, support each other.
A self-sufficient man - what kind of person is this in a relationship with a woman? First of all, strong. Self-sufficient people are not used to reveling in self-pity or clinging to the skirt of their mother or wife. However, this does not mean that they do not need a partner. This means that they are selective when choosing a girl. A self-sufficient man should feel just as good with her as he does alone with himself. From his woman he expects support, warmth, care and the same independence that he himself possesses.
Be near
Before starting a family, a self-sufficient man must make a decision, and he will not do this in a fit of passion. Understanding the importance of such a step, he will need enough time to comprehend everything. After all, he takes this issue very seriously.
If you manage to be together with a self-sufficient man, then be careful with manipulations. He will feel it faster than your insidious plan comes true. You need to talk to such a man, and not remain silent, hiding in different rooms. And if you constantly do this, then you will not have problems with it.
My recommendations
Let's talk about a man's self-sufficiency in a relationship with a woman. In our society, the idea that the husband should earn money and the wife should take care of the house is still alive. Moreover, this differentiation of roles persists even if the woman also works, and sometimes earns more than her partner.
Unfortunately, in many families this is instilled in children from childhood. Because of this, young people grow up passive and infantile in everyday life. They have no idea about food prices and how to prepare a hearty and healthy lunch, they do not want to keep the house clean, and they are not psychologically flexible. By raising boys in this way, parents do them a disservice and deprive them of everyday and psychological independence. Both men and women should be able to cope with household responsibilities, cook, and take care of themselves. This is an element of self-sufficiency.
Another specificity of upbringing in many families is that the boy is taught to give in to girls, endure their manipulations and tears, and apologize just like that. This is also not correct. Every person should have personal boundaries, they do not depend on gender. If a girl is wrong, then you need to convey this to her, the main thing is to choose socially acceptable methods, and not blindly follow your line, turning into a tyrant. At the same time, it is important to try to look at the problem through the girl’s eyes. This is psychological flexibility, respect for other people’s interests, without which it is impossible to be a self-sufficient person.
What to do if a man nevertheless grew up childish and dependent on women? Determine those aspects when he turns to his mother, friends or someone else for help. Next, you need to break large tasks into subtasks and gradually, point by point, develop what is missing. If you don’t know how to cook, sign up for a course or ask your mom not to cook, but to teach you how to cook. If you can’t find a decent job, contact a psychologist in the field of career guidance to understand where to go, what abilities and talents are hidden inside. Etc.
And, of course, you need to build personal boundaries, determine what you will not tolerate in a relationship. For example, it happens that a man can cook no worse than a woman, or even better, but he wants to see next to him someone who will welcome him home every day with a warm dinner. He has the right, this is his choice and vision of the world.
Important! The essence of a healthy relationship is that both participants can live without each other, but living together is more interesting and joyful. In the union, their dignity and strength are multiplied, and all responsibilities are divided in half, regardless of gender and social stereotypes, based on the personal beliefs of the participants.
Male and female roles in relationships
Just like actors on stage, a man and a woman have absolutely equal rights in a relationship, but they play different roles. If you want to change the laws of nature, this will lead to a sad result. And there is no need to say that modern life is completely different from what it was before. A man and a woman have different approaches to life, to relationships and do most things differently. Some things are easier for a man, and some things are easier for a woman. This is absolutely normal and there is no need to try to change it; it is better to turn such peculiarities to the common benefit. You should not try to play someone else’s role, especially since it does not suit you and you were created for something completely different.
No matter how hard you try, a man will always be different from a woman. And vice versa. Figuratively, a man can be represented as a high-speed train, which inexorably moves towards its goal. Every self-sufficient man chooses his own path, his own rails, regardless of what the environment will impose on him. A man has his own goal and knows well what exactly he lives for and where he is going.
What about the woman? It can be imagined as a driver choosing the train that he likes best. The one that goes in the direction he needs. The driver cannot change the path of the train - after all, it moves along already laid rails. However, the driver can help him move in the chosen direction or stop him. Or – accelerate to maximum speed. This is her strength, her role in relationships. And the role and strength of a man is to, no matter what, continue moving along the intended path and try not to go off the rails, not to swerve. After all, then a disaster could happen.
