SELF-SUFFICIENCY of women and men

The article explains:

Concept of self-sufficiency
Types of self-sufficiency
Signs and qualities of a self-sufficient person
Causes of loss or deficiency of self-sufficiency
10 rules for becoming a self-sufficient person

Many women would like to know how to become a self-sufficient person, not depend on anyone and live the way they want. You might think that there is no difficulty here: you just take it and do it. However, the root of the problem lies quite deep, and in order to solve it, it is necessary to understand what self-sufficiency is and what qualities ensure it.

Understanding what is needed does not guarantee that you will achieve the desired self-sufficiency. In our article we will tell you which woman is truly free and independent, and we will give rules that will help you become a strong personality.

What is self-sufficiency?

Self-sufficiency is a state in which a person does not feel the need for help or the presence of others around him. The characteristic fears associated with loneliness and inherent in most people are unusual for a self-sufficient person: he does not need psychological support and does not suffer from its absence. For a self-sufficient person, there is no authority, a person whose opinion and, especially, approval is important, and whom one wants to become like.

One should not confuse the currently fashionable Japanese concept of “hikikomori” – isolation with self-sufficiency. A closed person who does not communicate always has problems that prevent him from fully interacting with others. A self-sufficient person does not have such problems, and he readily communicates with people.

Independence is often confused with self-sufficiency, that is, the ability to perform some actions without the help of others. But an independent person who knows how to earn money, spend it and provide for his life, is capable of being dependent on other people, communication and society in psychological manifestations. For him, the concepts of fashion, compliance with the image that he creates for himself for the approval of others, other people’s opinions, etc. are important. A self-sufficient person is deprived of this too: he can wear what is comfortable and live as he is.

Thanks to this attitude towards themselves and their lives, those who are self-sufficient do not have to look for someone to blame for their own failures. If such a person makes a decision, then he takes upon himself all the consequences of his action. He doesn't have to be offended by people or circumstances, and he feels too good about himself to blame himself. An attractive feature of such a person for others is that he does not blame anyone to his face, does not condemn actions and is able to help if someone needs it.

Self-sufficiency

Relationships with people

Do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to be used. Everything you do from now on must be necessary for you first of all. Do you think this is selfishness? Not at all, who said that a person should live in order to satisfy other people's interests and thirsts? Everyone lives for themselves. In addition, you must learn to be independent both emotionally and financially. In addition, if you do not have time to work (small children), there are many options for income at home, if you wish. Forget about pride, and start, it eats you from the inside, not allowing you to build harmonious relationships with others. Always be prepared to compromise in disputes.

Learn to make decisions that are responsible for you with a cool head, from time to time haste and feelings are your worst enemy, remember this. You have the opportunity to listen to the advice of your family and friends, but you make the choice in solving this or that problem yourself. Under no circumstances should you blame anyone for your failures.

Qualities of a self-sufficient person

For those interested in self-development, information about the qualities that are inherent in a self-sufficient person may be useful. But developing these qualities in yourself specifically so that someone will appreciate your efforts and call you a strong person is already a sign of dependence on other people’s opinions and the desire to achieve the approval of others.

If a person is self-sufficient, he has the following qualities:

determination - the ability to achieve results despite external obstacles;
inner strength, as responsibility for one’s decisions and actions;
self-confidence, which makes it possible not to depend on the opinions of others;
no fear of being left without support: solitude is a reason to get away from the hustle and bustle and do what is interesting now.

To achieve self-sufficiency, you also need the ability to take care of yourself. You can’t become self-sufficient if you don’t have the basic skills to cook food, provide daily living, pay bills, etc.

Self-sufficiency of a woman

Sometimes a girl who leads a corresponding lifestyle at the expense of her parents or a man also considers herself self-sufficient. But the whole entourage is lost with the loss of an easy source of money and the absence of other people’s help. A self-sufficient woman remains independent both psychologically and materially.

This condition should not be confused with narcissism, inability to communicate with men and inability to start a family. If a self-sufficient woman has a desire to give birth and raise children, to love a man and give him the opportunity to love herself, she creates a family. The motives are not the typical desire for many to be like everyone else or to find a source of material wealth, but a personal desire to be close to someone they like.

You can develop independence by cultivating the following states in yourself:

Accepting the fact that loved ones do not have to be what you want them to be. A self-sufficient girl enjoys loving herself, that is, experiencing positive emotions from giving her love to someone. Receiving material or psychological gifts in return is nice, but not necessary.
A sober understanding that a partner also has the right to his own life. He has his own interests, work, the right to love another person and leave a woman if there is no affection for her.
Lack of envy. If a girl likes the clothes, hairstyle, lifestyle of another woman, then the self-sufficient one will simply buy or arrange the same for herself. Those who are not self-sufficient will only have to envy and look for shortcomings in their rival.
Adequate self-esteem. Each person has his own stages of development, abilities, and skills. If possessing certain qualities and skills is necessary to get a job or improve your own standard of living, then you just need to learn something new. You shouldn’t consider yourself a failure if something doesn’t work out or you don’t have any special skills. Most likely, they simply were not needed. But excessive pride in their achievements is not characteristic of self-sufficient women: they know that they once could not do this either.
Correct prioritization. Self-sufficiency tends to find satisfaction within itself. If a person is unpleasant, you should not communicate with him through force. Monetary but unsatisfying work can be replaced with another if emotions are more important than material well-being. You can find many such little things that make up life and often deprive you of happiness. It is important to determine what you want to receive more: positive emotions or material components.

Self-sufficiency of a man

The psychology of a man is largely formed on the instincts of a protector and provider. For those who are self-sufficient, their own independence becomes a priority. When meeting a woman with whom he is interested in being close, such a partner will provide her with all his ability to protect her from adversity and material disadvantage. But in this case, the woman will be required to be able to accept such care and guardianship.

Even with a full understanding of her right to her personal life, her own interests and hobbies, a self-sufficient man can become dependent on himself. This will happen if the woman herself does not possess the properties of a free person. But more often than not, such couples become happy and exist for a long time, collapsing only at the will of the man.

From the outside, the behavior of such a person can be similar to the behavior of an egoist or a tyrant: he never makes excuses or explains his actions. The motive for all his decisions is only the feeling of correctness, which arises when carefully analyzing the situation and thinking about his actions. The dissatisfaction of others does not matter, and even the spouse will have to take his action for granted. Most often, for family members, the results of actions that are irrational or do not fit into generally accepted rules become the best.

Women are attracted to the qualities of such a man:

generosity;
placability;
lack of attempts at self-affirmation;
non-smallness;
the ability to fulfill other people's desires only for one's own pleasure.

But upon close acquaintance, girls can be put off by the almost aggressive ability to stop cases of manipulating him. A man who does not succumb to provocations and feminine tricks is often presented as an egoist. But a partner who is able to accept him for who he is will always feel safe and confident.

Adviсe

It is necessary to constantly engage in self-development.
To increase your self-esteem, you need to take care of your appearance, get your figure back to normal, go to a stylist, buy new clothes.
Communicate more often with people who have achieved great success, minimize communication with losers.
Constantly develop in yourself such qualities as confidence, determination, cheerfulness, independence, independence, discipline, determination and willpower.
Praise yourself for all your achievements and believe in future successes.
Set clear goals and always achieve them.
Never boast of your victories to other people.
Treat others with respect.
Adequately assess your abilities and set goals that are achievable.
Learn to control your emotions, no matter what the circumstances.
If there are fears in life, learn to fight them, resist them.
If you have bad habits, overcome them and lead a healthy lifestyle.

As you can see, a confident, self-sufficient woman is not something supernatural and unattainable, it is a very real state that all representatives of the fair half of humanity can strive for. Everyone can become successful, the main thing is to make an effort for this, not to break under the weight of difficulties, to endure this path, and become a self-sufficient person, independent of anyone. Every woman deserves such a life!

Self-sufficiency: is it good or bad?

It is difficult to give a definite answer to such a question. A self-sufficient person often causes rejection among others who are used to manipulating others, are prone to making judgments, or like to assert themselves. An independent person is incomprehensible to them, and they tend to consider everything incomprehensible hostile.

For envious people, a woman’s self-sufficiency and her ability to achieve her goals often results in the same hostility and aggressiveness. Criticism from envious people is indifferent to her, which causes even greater hatred. In an unhealthy team, intrigues often begin to weave around self-sufficient women, which, with a bad leader, can lead to dismissal. This will not be a tragedy for a self-sufficient person, but it can cause unpleasant experiences for her too.

Independence is often presented as an exclusively positive quality that needs to be developed in oneself. But psychological immaturity, which causes people to strive to achieve other people’s successes, distorts the meaning of self-sufficiency and leads to the emergence of another egoist or narcissist.

Types of self-sufficiency

The development of self-sufficiency includes the ability to realize any kind of self-sufficiency. In accordance with the aspects of human manifestations, there are also varieties of self-sufficiency.

Psychological

Most often, this side becomes the most obvious, since it also includes the ability to demonstrate other types of independence. The meaning of the word implies an internal lack of need to have others like you nearby. And this applies not only to independence from the opinions of others.

A psychologically self-sufficient person does not need to communicate with those who consider themselves or are the same. There are no organizations and associations, forums or trainings where self-sufficient people exchange opinions about others or their own experiences in achieving this state. The self-development of such a person is his personal matter.

Social

A person, even being psychologically independent, is forced to live in society. The peculiarity of the condition is that any rules are accepted simply, and one can adapt to any working or living conditions. If something does not suit you, then a person looks for rules that suit him, with which he is ready to agree.

Your own talents, skills and hobbies allow you to find the right niche in society: choose a job, arrange your life and start a family, if necessary.

Economic

Economic self-sufficiency most often means the ability to take care of the everyday side of life. This does not necessarily include the ability to do everything yourself: only the necessary basic skills are present (cooking, cleaning, housekeeping and earning a living).

For a self-sufficient person, the lack of plumbing skills, for example, may be a reason to acquire them, but it can also lead to calling a specialist from the housing office. The choice is influenced by the awareness of the need to do such work with your own hands or the lack thereof.

Let's sum it up

A self-sufficient person can stand firmly on his feet, achieves his goal, he is independent. Although these are two different concepts. A person can be independent, earn money, solve problems, but he will be uncomfortable being alone.

What is self-sufficiency? This is complete independence both externally and internally. Then it turns out that a self-sufficient person is lonely, but he likes to be alone with himself. Sometimes we exhibit some individual qualities of this factor. For example, we solve problems on our own or want to be alone, sometimes we don’t even care about everyone’s opinion. The ability to enjoy life, despite the “bad weather”, the ability to maintain control over your mental well-being is a skill that comes with experience. The ability to live in harmony with the inner and outer world is fundamental to achieving the desired goal, the goal of being yourself.

One can endlessly give examples of what such a person should be like. But all of them would be as useless as if you tried to describe space with a pencil. Do not try to learn this from those who are trying to show themselves to be experts in this, do not try to copy someone who only seems to be human, as this completely goes against this concept - the concept of self-sufficiency. Your personality is unique, you are unique, and therefore you have a different path to understand yourself. You don’t need love, money for this, nothing will make you happy until you know how much you need for happiness.