Gratitude is such an interesting word. It consists of two words:
- the word "GOOD" AND
- the word "GIVE"
But remember yourself or someone who often uses it? And how often do you hear him in response or do you yourself say the word “THANK YOU”?
I think that most often the answer to these two questions will be “no”, very rarely. But it’s very strange that we don’t speak or pronounce this word in our lives. Why is this word “thank you” not in the vocabulary of many people at all?
We are simply not used to thanking anyone, including ourselves. Thank you sounds much more often than thank you. But the power of gratitude is very great!
Gratitude in Psychology
Psychologists note that people who know how to thank are happier. Gratitude shifts our attention, distracting us from negative thoughts and experiences. Therefore, the practice of gratitude is actively used in psychology.
At the same time, we can feel a sense of gratitude not only towards other people. We know how to simply thank life, God (the Universe, higher powers - who believes in what), and ourselves. Therefore, in psychology, gratitude is not only a feeling, but also a person’s ability to notice everything positive that surrounds him.
Gratitude in psychosomatics
Psychosomatics is a direction in medicine and psychology that studies how the psyche and emotions affect the state of our body. It has been proven that negative emotions destroy the body, while positive ones heal.
Gratitude in psychosomatics is one of the most valuable feelings associated with our heart.
In 2015, doctors from the University of California at San Diego conducted an experiment. A group of people with latent heart failure were given a questionnaire to measure how well a person developed a sense of gratitude (the Michael McCullough scale). Those who scored a lot of points, i.e. grateful people, were different:
- less fatigue;
- better sleep;
- lower levels of inflammatory biomarkers.
Therefore, the authors of the study suggest using exercises to develop grateful thinking in the complex treatment of heart disease along with traditional methods.
Personally, I believe in psychosomatics and have more than once noticed how emotions affect my well-being. While studying this topic, I found another interesting study by Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology. 1224 adults took part in it. They also took a questionnaire and found that 25% did not feel grateful at all. And only 12% experience it often.
Interestingly, older people experience feelings of gratitude more often than younger people. And women more often than men.
Gratitude as a high vibration
Vibrations are the energy that we transmit to the world around us. They were identified more than half a century ago by the German psychiatrist Hans Berger, so the concept of vibrations has a scientific basis. He discovered that the gray matter of the brain produces minute vibrations. Depending on the emotion, they differ.
Gratitude is a high vibration. It has a positive effect on the body - relaxes, eliminates stress. Other high frequency emotions: optimism, acceptance, compassion, unconditional love (like a mother for a child).
The writer and author of his own esoteric movement, Vadim Zeland, in his book “Transurfing of Reality” highlighted the law:
The more we give thanks for what we have, the more we attract into our lives.
This means that the focus of attention needs to be switched: to think not about what is not there, but to appreciate what is already there.
Miracles from gratitude
There is an interesting example from Joe Vitale's book The Secret of Attraction, he describes the power of thanksgiving. The story is very instructive.
Jonathan had pneumonia on both sides, maybe he also had coronavirus then? He took and wrote just one sentence on paper and hung it all over the house. He stubbornly looked at it, walked around it and simply repeated it, because he simply had no other choice. And you will be surprised, but within 24 hours his illness subsided. What was this phrase? As you guessed, he thanked the Lord God: “Thank you, Lord, for all the blessings that I have and for all the blessings that I will receive.”
Gratitude is always a flow of energy. And so this is how gratitude can change a life.
You can thank:
- Lord God
- Universe
- people around
- everyone you want to thank yourself
And give thanks for both the bad and the good. Thanks for the good, we strengthen it, and thanks for the bad, we neutralize it.
How does the power of gratitude work?
If you give thanks, then your positive energy goes into the Universe. And the principle of operation is very simple:
- What you give to the Universe is what you receive in return.
- And the more you give, the more you receive
According to the law of attraction, “what we are grateful for in life, what we see and notice more often, we attract.”
Why can't I say thank you?
Since gratitude is such a positive feeling, why don’t people sometimes feel it and can’t even say thank you? There are many psychological reasons for this.
Reluctance to remain in debt
When they do something good for us, it seems to us that we are obliged to respond in kind. Especially if we did not ask for the service provided. We feel a lot of pressure. Thoughts bother me: “What should I do now? If I don’t do the same, will they be offended at me?”
This is typical for people with high anxiety, who tend to worry and stress themselves out, analyze everything, and look for hidden motives in others.
Distrust of people
Often the reason for lack of gratitude is distrust of others. It seems that a person does good in order to receive benefit for himself in return. There are several reasons for this opinion:
- negative experiences in the past;
- an attitude passed on from parents to children;
- an example of such behavior in the family.
The underlying fear is that they will do something good and then demand “payment.” Or they will begin to manipulate with guilt: “I have done so much for you, but you cannot help me.”
Also the cause is resentment towards other people, which blocks the feeling of gratitude. In this case, try the practice of letting go of grievances.
Low self-esteem
When a person does not love himself, is not confident in his own abilities and has low self-esteem, he cannot enjoy gifts, kind words and good deeds addressed to him. He feels like he doesn't deserve it.
A person with a heightened sense of guilt accepts benefits with embarrassment. She tries to pay back for the kindness she has done, but she does this not out of gratitude, but to get rid of a painful feeling.
Heightened self-esteem
Inappropriately high self-esteem is the other extreme. These are spoiled people, fed up with attention and love. They do not attach importance to the good deeds of others and the positive things around them. It seems to them that this is how it should be.
A person lives with the feeling that the whole world revolves around him, and therefore is not able to appreciate everything positive that is in his life.
Perfectionism
People with excellent student syndrome are hesitant to express gratitude for compliments, salary increases, bonuses, because they consider their results to be less than ideal and not worthy of praise. They tend to devalue their achievements and cannot understand why they receive any benefits for it.
I also encountered the same problem. At the institute, I was an excellent student and tried to complete assignments perfectly, but I always found flaws in them. When I was given automatic tests, dismissed from classes, and teachers praised me, I got irritated. Their approval seemed inappropriate to me, and I never once felt deep in my heart gratitude for the good attitude of the teachers.
But everything changed when I tried special practices that developed this feeling.
How to learn to give thanks: tips
The energy of gratitude energizes those around you. For example, I had to “fade in the rays” of such happy people. And this does not humiliate, but, on the contrary, inspires to be like them! So, how to become a grateful person for everything?
Read also: Why the body needs carbohydrates
Open your heart to new experiences
Imagine how one sunny morning a snow-white flower reaches out to the sun and opens, basking in its rays.
Allow yourself to become that flower. Reach for unconditional love, feel lightness and openness!
Say the word “thank you”
This little word carries a huge meaning.
Firstly, from Old Church Slavonic it means “God save you,” that is, a wish for a person to live and be healthy.
Secondly, it makes people like you. You took a ride in a taxi - Thank you! – and the taxi driver has more fun working. They handed you a piece of paper that had flown away due to the wind - Thank you! - and the person will want to do more good.
Learn to thank God or fate
When you are grateful for the help given to you, it is good. But there are things that do not depend on us and those around us. Learning to give thanks with all your heart means recognizing that not everything depends on you. And don’t be depressed about this, but be grateful.
Walk down the street - be grateful for nature, wind, air, sun, rain. There is a cool song “Love”, the group Mozgi sings. Listen - it’s still a motivator! We really give little thanks for such moral, spiritual things: love, affection, devotion, fidelity, reliability, empathy, friendship.
Learning to give thanks
There are special exercises for those who find it difficult to express gratitude. If it seems to you that there is nothing to thank others for and everything in life is bad, read how to get out of the impasse.
Write a gratitude list
Think about what is good in your life. Do you have something special that other people don't have? Record 5 of these things in a convenient format. For example, in a diary that you carry with you, in notes on your phone. It is important that the list is available to you every day.
There are 20 items on my list. When I learned to give thanks, I read them every morning. First mechanically, then more thoughtfully, trying to feel gratitude.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
It’s easy to say thank you for some serious benefits. But every day many little things happen to us that improve our mood. In the evening you need to try to remember and write them down, even if it seems stupid. Repeat the practice every day.
For example, I was grateful that there was no line at the store and I quickly got home after work. That a passing man smiled and the mood became better. That the bus arrived quickly and I didn’t wait 20 minutes for it, as usual. I wrote down everything that brought me some benefit.
Write a letter of gratitude
The practice is suitable if you want to thank someone, but cannot. For example, you are embarrassed to say words of gratitude or someone important to you is no longer around. It is not necessary to send a letter; writing it will be enough.
- Imagine a person to whom you want to say thank you. Friend, employer, relative, child.
- Remember what good he did to you and write it down.
- Then listen to your feelings and record them. For example: “I am very pleased that you took such care of me. It made me happy."
Try to describe your feelings as thoroughly and broadly as possible, but don’t do it forcefully. If it doesn’t work, then write simply and briefly.
Write such letters to everyone you are grateful to. If you are not shy, hand them to the recipients. It is best to write by hand, but you can also do this on your phone by simply sending an important message in the messenger.
Give thanks even for the little things
Each person will have their own situations that deserve gratitude. For example, my husband helped around the house. My sister gave me a gift just like that. The subordinate submitted the report on time. The customer stepped into the situation and moved the deadline. I am sure that you can find at least one act for which you will sincerely thank another person.
Are you embarrassed when you have to say something nice out loud? Then I advise you to read the article How to stop being shy.
When you learn to notice the little things and be grateful for them, those around you will begin to delight you even more. They will be pleased to communicate with you and help. It will become easier for them to get into your position. This exchange of pleasantries will bring you a lot of pleasure and you will learn to be grateful. Brian Tracy also spoke about this.
When is the best time to practice gratitude?
It works best for me in the morning, before anything else, or in the evening, before bed. During the day our brain is very active, all processes are activated, it is difficult for me to concentrate. And it’s more problematic to be alone.
Early morning. I do this after meditation, as a continuation of it.
What time do you get up in the morning?
Good morning life!
Or before bed. Well, in general, it’s important to find at least five minutes at any time of the day. It is possible both in the morning and in the evening.
I recommend keeping a journal. This is recommended by many and it is very correct. In the evening, write down things to do for the next day, impressions, observations of the day, and gratitude for that day.
