Sometimes you just stop and don't know what to do next with your life. It is very difficult to decide what to do, to find the right solution. This feeling of uncertainty can occur in anyone and at any age. It doesn't matter what it is - you're choosing a university, graduating and looking for a job, trying to get over a breakup, or approaching retirement. In any situation, you may feel like you just don't know where to move next.
Five steps will help you deal with the problem, with the help of which you will understand what you want to do in your future life.
Put on your sneakers and clear your mind
Sometimes the situation is so difficult that all you can think about is how to survive until the next day. You have no strategy for the future, no plans or desires. You just can't stand it. If this is the case, don't panic. Focus on daily activities. Physical activity will help you get through the day. Set your alarm early, prepare your running clothes in advance, and head outside. A short run is a great start to the day. At first it will be difficult for you to force yourself to get out of bed; you will just want to close yourself off from the world. But over time, you will realize that after a run you feel better, and your worries will subside. You will begin to look forward to the morning and will be filled with energy from your activities. Your sleep will become stronger. Exercise helps you cope with emotional pain and improves your health. It’s easier for you to deal with all life’s problems. Sometimes the effect is not immediate, but one way or another, sport helps you move to a new stage of life without much difficulty.
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Why you might want to leave university
Many people are quite careless when choosing a university. It is not surprising - applicants are only 17–19 years old, they do not yet have work experience in the desired field, and they have no idea what they want to do. Often, a teenager chooses a university on the recommendation of his parents or friends, and during his studies he becomes disappointed with the specialty he does not need. But there are other reasons: for example, conflicts with teachers. The most common reasons why people drop out of college are:
- not the desired specialty - if you entered on recommendations or did not get the passing grade for the place you wanted;
- a mistake in choosing a specialty - if during your studies you realized that you imagined your future job differently;
- revision of values - if during your studies you realized who you really want to become;
- incompetent teachers and low quality of teaching - if even in your first year you are sure that the school taught you better and more productively, then it is not surprising that you want to leave the university and change mentors;
- conflicts with teachers and fellow students - the first can significantly harm your studies, and the second can simply ruin your life. Whether it is worth leaving the university for such reasons is an individual matter, but if conflicts interfere with normal studies or spoil your mood day after day, then it is better to think about changing the team.
Wake up your consciousness, start acting
No one will live instead of you. All people, rich or poor, prosperous or ruined, must cope with their own problems. You must move on, no matter how difficult it is. It doesn’t matter what justice is, it doesn’t matter if you’re sad, you simply have to act! Life cannot be predicted, and the answers we seek are not always pleasant. There are no rules to follow in order to follow the right path. You must awaken your consciousness and accept reality as it is, prepare for change and understand that life is unpredictable. This will be another step towards finding your new direction. You will have to deal with all your stereotypes and self-doubts - they block your path. Even if you don’t see yourself in the future, you don’t know what you want, you need to make decisions.
Many people prefer to do nothing - making decisions seems so difficult to them. Don't let fear paralyze you. Keep moving, don't give up. Even a small step forward is better than constant procrastination. Just try it and you will see for yourself!
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Life without a goal. Where to go next?
In the stream of loud statements about goals in every person’s life as an obligatory necessity, constant achievements and personal development, modest questions about what a person should do when there is no goal in life are barely audible in a thin voice. It's as simple as that: no goal. Neither global about conquering the world, nor very modest. There is no. Is this really what happens?
Yes, sometimes. And that's quite normal.
For example, a baby has a certain biological development program: at three months he learned to hold his head up, at six months he learned to sit, at nine months he learned to crawl, and by one year he learned to walk...
When physical development ends (at about age 25), nature trusts a person to independently manage his own development. And here a person’s program can be implemented in two main ways. The first way is that a person has an active life position. Such people are always exploring something new, making discoveries, conquering unknown lands. The second way is to replicate known behaviors and behaviors suggested by others. Historically, these were models of behavior accepted in society and dictated by religion.
Thus, there have always been leaders who realize their high ambitions, who know how to set goals and take responsibility, and followers who are ready to follow the leaders and fulfill other people’s goals according to other people’s rules and algorithms.
Today, an active life position, the right to choose and equal opportunities for self-realization are proclaimed as a value, but there are still people who are ready to move the Earth, and people who are driven. And that's okay!
In the global understanding, everything is simple and clear, but how can a specific person figure out what to do and how to live further if there is no goal?
Easy to understand. If a particular person is happy and his life expectations coincide with reality, then his life model is good. And here you can finish reading this text.
Another case is if there is some kind of worm inside that reminds you of inner unhappiness, and doubts creep in about the correctness of the chosen model of behavior. Here, indeed, there is reason to think about what to do if there is no goal.
Let's start with something simple. With life's expectations. Our life expectations are the precursors to our life goals. They are simple and understandable to every person. Even when there are no dreams and global plans to conquer the neighboring galaxy, there are life expectations.
Let's look at the example of a physical state. Ask yourself honestly, how do you expect or want to see yourself, your body (physical form) in twenty years, ten, five?
I am sure that the vast majority want to see themselves in good physical shape: slim and fit, healthy.
Tell me, does your body now meet your expectations?
If you are young, then most likely yes. Because when we are young, life often rewards us with good health.
And with your current lifestyle, will your body in 20 years meet your expectations?
If your physical condition is important to you, then here is your first goal for the next twenty years: meet your birthday (your current age plus twenty) in good physical shape.
Don't you think so globally? But when working with goals, you cannot do without a strategic vision.
Now the next important area is relationships. What are the expectations from life here? What do you want in twenty, ten and five years? What do you have now? Do you have a reason to work? If you want your expectations and reality to coincide, set goals.
Every person has a need to realize himself in something. Hence the often painful search for one’s purpose.
Ask yourself a question, what do you want to succeed in, what business? How to conquer the world?
If you have no ideas, the question may be more modest: in what craft do you want to achieve excellence? What are you ready to do with maximum effort, time and other resources?
Surely, there is such an activity, the results of which bring so much joy and inspiration that you never have to regret the time spent.
If so, what professional heights would you like to achieve?
It's time to set goals again.
And the last area is financial independence.
How many sources of income do you have? If any one of them runs out, will the quality of life change? How much money is needed for your financial condition to remain consistently stable no matter the changes in your life circumstances? How to achieve such a state?
All the questions asked now concerned only the necessary minimum, which will allow you to choose freedom of action, and not think every minute “about your daily bread.”
If sound calculations and reality do not coincide, if there is an abyss between what is desired and reality, there is again a reason to set goals.
In general, in the most general understanding, there are four important areas for every person: physical condition, relationships, self-realization, financial independence. They are like table legs, providing stability to the table and giving a person a feeling of life harmony and happiness.
Want more? A few more questions to ask yourself, and new goals.
Algorithm to help you
Compare your expectations of life in the future with reality and set your life goals. I am sure that now you will have them.
Elena Vetshtein,
SELFORGANIZATION.RU
Consult with those who have already experienced this
Other people's stories, their perspective on life and how to overcome similar difficulties can help you. Reading this can help you find inspiration and motivate you if you don't know what to do next with your life. You will be able to find useful tips and sort out the clutter in your thoughts and feelings. You can also read biographical books from people who have had difficult times in life. You are likely to find someone whose life experience is similar to yours or simply impresses you enough to give you the strength to find your way. Such reading will never be a waste of time, don’t even doubt it - choose a book and start it as soon as possible.
Procedure for filing and consideration of complaints
The norms of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation do not define special features of filing applications to the inspectorate. In this regard, practitioners in this matter should be guided by the provisions of the Law “On Procedure...” dated May 2, 2006 No. 59-FZ. According to Art. 8 of Law No. 59, the complaint must be submitted in writing to the relevant territorial unit of the inspectorate. Within 3 days, the complaint is subject to mandatory registration, after which the citizen must be given an answer on the merits of the questions raised within a month.
The second way to contact the inspectorate, according to Art. 13 of Law No. 59, - during a personal reception of citizens by management or authorized employees of the inspection. The personal appointment schedule is indicated on the website of the inspection unit.
During a personal reception, an oral complaint is registered in the appeal registration card. Accordingly, the response to the complaint can be given, at the request of the applicant, orally or in writing. Also, during a personal reception, a written appeal can be accepted, which will be considered within the time frame indicated above.
Another way to contact the inspectorate is to file an online complaint against the employer with the labor inspectorate. This complaint is submitted by filling out an electronic form on the inspection website. If it is necessary to attach any documents, they are also sent in electronic form.
A response to an online request can be received either in traditional written form or by sending an electronic document to the address specified by the user. The procedure for considering electronic complaints is similar to the procedure for considering written complaints.
Do everything to understand yourself better
Understand yourself, understand what you like in life. You must understand your desires if you want to take action and create change. If you are not clear about who you are and what you need, you will not be able to understand what direction is right for you. In addition, only knowing who you are can become a reliable foundation for believing in yourself. When you are in despair, you will be able to find the strength to move on if you know that you can cope. The previous step can help in self-knowledge - the thirty-day challenge opens your eyes well to your priorities. Once you feel that you have found the right direction, you can direct all your efforts towards achieving your goal. You will know where to look for information and where to get inspiration.
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How to file a complaint with a union
In accordance with Art. 370 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation, trade unions, as well as representatives (inspectors) authorized by them, have the right to inspect working conditions, labor protection, as well as facts of violation of labor legislation by the organization’s management.
It is important to remember that an employee can apply either to an organization operating directly within his company or to a territorial or sectoral association of trade union cells. Both trade unionists and inspectors sent by industry or territorial associations have the right to unhindered access to the company’s territory in order to monitor compliance with workers’ rights.
Based on the results of inspections of citizens’ appeals or control measures, the trade union sends demands to the organization’s administration to eliminate the identified violations. Accordingly, the administration is obliged to take the necessary measures, as well as report within a week on the results of the review and the work done to eliminate violations.
Moreover, in the event of inaction by the company’s management, trade unionists have the right to independently appeal to government bodies or courts, as well as to protect members of their organizations in other ways.
It should be remembered that Art. 370 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation does not determine the methods for filing a complaint with a trade union, therefore, if there is such a need, you can either contact the relevant trade union worker in person or send your complaint by mail. The period for consideration of a complaint is determined by the charter of each specific organization and cannot exceed one month.
Money
Money is a powerful thing that makes humanity evolve. The constant demand for money does not allow you to completely relax. And although money should not be the main priority in life, it does provide a certain amount of financial independence. You can buy everything you need for your dearest and closest ones. You either make money to survive or you lose everything. That's life.
The main thing is not to lose control in the pursuit of money. Those who earn a lot of money can become too selfish and heartless. Money is a good motivator. To have a good income, you must work hard, but try not to treat it as something sacred.
Money is just a tool to achieve your goals and satisfy your needs.
How I didn’t go to the HSE master’s program, but went to ITMO
My name is Olya Kunyavskaya.
In the summer of 2021, I graduated from St. Petersburg Agrarian University with a bachelor's degree in Bioinformatics. Our graduation came at a time when the administration, teachers and students were moving from St. Petersburg University to St. Petersburg HSE. The academic university suited me perfectly from the point of view of obtaining a bachelor's degree, but I did not go to the newly opened master's program at the St. Petersburg campus of the Higher School of Economics. During my undergraduate studies, I studied bioinformatics and wanted to develop in this area, but the areas of Machine Learning, Software Engineering and Programming Languages moved to the master’s program at St. Petersburg HSE, but Bioinformatics did not. At that moment, I learned about the master’s program “Bioinformatics and Systems Biology” at ITMO and decided to enroll there. The program included some courses that I had already studied, but there was also a lot that was new. I liked the idea that my classmates would be guys with a biological background. The way biologists think is very different from mine, and I thought that such an environment could greatly improve me in an area of biology that was mysterious to me and teach me to think in another way. I also liked that the training was in English: I wanted to believe that I knew enough English to study and work.
I take an oral exam in biology upon admission to ITMO
Health problems
The human body is a smart system. It manages thousands of interconnected processes automatically. In various disorders, it sends signals such as pain or anxiety.
When we feel bad, we forget about everything and start moving and taking action to understand what happened. It's so hard to change or get rid of bad habits. Electronic technology makes us lazy, but illness encourages us to move on. The pain is much stronger than the feeling of laziness.
How to complain to the tax office about an employer
Unlike all the authorities listed above, the tax inspectorate has special competence in relation to organizations and individual entrepreneurs. According to clause 1 of the Regulations, approved by Decree of the Government of the Russian Federation dated September 30, 2004 No. 506, the Federal Tax Service is empowered to control the completeness and correctness of the calculation and payment of taxes, fees, and insurance premiums. Accordingly, the Federal Tax Service is not authorized to consider labor disputes themselves.
Therefore, it makes sense to contact the Federal Tax Service only when the illegal actions of the organization’s administration are related to tax violations that may affect the interests of the employee in terms of payment of personal income tax or insurance premiums or relate to other taxes not related to labor activity (income tax, VAT, excise taxes and etc.).
IMPORTANT! It should be remembered that the main form of control on the part of the Federal Tax Service is conducting documentary and on-site inspections regulated by Chapter. 14 Tax Code of the Russian Federation. Contacting the tax office is also carried out in accordance with the requirements of Art. 8 and 13 of Law No. 59.
He ignores calls and texts
Another reason that indicates that a reunion is impossible is the reluctance of your ex-boyfriend to talk to you on the phone. He ignores calls and text messages and may cut off contacts with you on social media. Stop humiliating yourself by trying to contact someone who doesn't want to know you. Just imagine how much nerves and time you will be able to save on endless waits for an answer. Cutting ties will make the break easier. No one weans themselves from alcohol or drugs by gradually reducing the dose. Dependent people decide to survive this difficult period, but to put an end to the past once and for all.
How does withdrawal occur?
When you look at a photo of your ex-partner, Reward, addiction, and emotion regulation systems associated with rejection in love are activated in your brain. The ventral tegmental area (VTA) is a key element of the reward system. The VTA communicates with other brain structures using dopamine, a chemical that makes us seek pleasure.
VTA is not related to cognitive processes and common sense. She wants, craves, burns with desire. Therefore, all your attempts to forget your partner are in vain.
Also, in people who are in love, the nucleus accumbens is activated - the main pleasure center responsible for attachment and dependence. Both the VTA and the nucleus accumbens respond in the same way to the cocaine rush, but the drug releases, but love does not. When you go through a breakup, activity in these areas does not decrease, and because you cannot get what you want, you suffer from withdrawal symptoms akin to cocaine withdrawal.
The joint work of the prefrontal cortex and the nucleus accumbens triggers the process of assessing loss and gain: you constantly think about what went wrong in your relationship, who is to blame, whether it can be returned and how to do it. It is impossible to get rid of these thoughts; they come back again and again. At the same time, you experience mental pain, which can be compared to physical pain. And there is an explanation for this too.
Rivalry
Whenever anyone looks into this world, he sees competition in every walk of life. It doesn't matter if it's work, sports or anything else. When we were little, our teachers and parents taught us to work hard and try to be the best at everything. Adult life requires even more effort to succeed because there is so much competition. It often happens that the success of a competitor causes envy among weak and evil people.
Instead of looking for new and better ways to improve yourself or your business, you are eager to take your rivals by the throat. Why? You better turn your energy into creating something new, useful and interesting.
Every person has the right to develop and express themselves as they please. Healthy competition can help people discover their hidden potential and win.
Path through school
In turn, the deputy director of school No. 548 and the developer of the assessment system regulations, Andrei Ivanov, added that there are several more ways to solve the problem (they are recorded in the school’s local act).
— The first procedure is the involvement of external experts who, on similar topics, conduct certification of the child and determine whether the results correspond or not.
The second procedure is a discussion in the Governing Council of the school (there should be one in every educational institution. It includes parents of students, teachers - Note by Life) of the compliance of the criteria and assessment forms used. Perhaps the teacher is not underestimating, but the current criteria simply give such a result for some other reason,” explains Ivanov.
The third way is if at some point the child had the same results, and then they changed (and this happened due to the teacher’s personal relationships), then this fact will be noticed in the reporting system.
The deputy director also explained that if the local act of the educational institution does not contain such procedures, then one must also contact the Governing Council or the head (director or his deputy - Note by Life) of the school with a request to include such procedures in the charter to resolve the problem.
Legal path
Lawyer Pavel Astakhov argues: if a parent is sure that the child’s grade was given unfairly and underestimated, then he can write to the director an application for the creation of a commission to objectively verify the student’s factual knowledge (according to Article 45 of the Law “On Education in the Russian Federation”).
— If a parent feels that his child is being treated with prejudice, then the law clearly states the inadmissibility of discrimination in the field of education and the priority of human life and health, personal rights and freedoms, free personal development, and nurturing mutual respect (according to Article 3 of the Law “On Education in RF").
In the event of a conflict between a student and a teacher, it is necessary to contact the commission for resolving disputes between participants in educational relations. It is created from an equal number of parents of minor students and employees of the organization in which the child is studying,” explained Pavel Astakhov. — The procedure for creating a commission, organizing its work and making decisions on the settlement of disputes and their implementation is established by the local regulatory act of the school (according to Article 45 of the Law “On Education in the Russian Federation”).
In general, students and their legal representatives have the right to send to the governing bodies of an educational organization (that is, for example, the department of education - Note by Life), appeals for the application of disciplinary sanctions to employees who violate and infringe on their rights, says the lawyer. — Such appeals are subject to mandatory consideration with the involvement of both students and parents.
Of course, you can write an appeal to the district education department, Rosobrnadzor, and the Prosecutor’s Office, but this will take much more time,” Astakhov noted.
Why does a person leave, but affection remains?
Attachment to a person is formed with the participation of the hormone oxytocin. And this same hormone makes you suffer when the object of love leaves.
Oxytocin levels increase greatly Oxytocin and vulnerable romantic relationships. during a crisis in a relationship. When one partner’s feelings cool down, the other, on the contrary, experiences a hormonal explosion. This mechanism continues to work when the relationship ends on the initiative of one of the partners. The abandoned person continues to feel affection due to increased levels of oxytocin, wants to be close, love and care. The inability to do this causes longing and even real withdrawal for lost love.
You've been trying to get your man back for a long time
Many months have passed since your separation, and all this time you have been trying to restore your previous relationship. You cannot get used to the idea that this relationship was a big mistake, you feel sorry for the effort and feelings invested. That's why you're so desperate to jump on the bandwagon. Try to look into the future. The destination of the route has nothing to do with your personal happiness. There are things that prevent this relationship from being effective. And if two people cannot fix it, then such a connection is not worth the resources spent. When a man is not interested in love, all your efforts will be in vain. Admit it.
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He became angry
When it comes to choosing a social circle, no one wants to be around unreliable people, psychopaths or narcissistic egoists. Why not apply the principle of selection for the role of a friendly environment to an ex-boyfriend? If after the breakup he began to show dissatisfaction with life or speaks badly about your family members, this person does not deserve to be in your circle. Don't think that you are the reason. A man cannot deal with internal contradictions and is rather angry at the situation. But if he is unhappy, let him deal with his own problems on his own and fill his social circle with positive people.
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