Losing interest in life is one of life's serious challenges. This condition may arise due to suppressed aspirations, a feeling of hopelessness and the inability to correct the situation. A person stops fighting and setting realistic, achievable goals. A feeling of one’s own worthlessness is created, of the inability to influence the further development of events. This condition cannot be ignored or brushed aside. Otherwise, there is a high risk of facing unpleasant consequences and completely losing faith in your own abilities.
Why does loss of interest in life occur?
Everything has already happened, everything has already been achieved and there are no new goals.
You have a roof over your head (house, apartment), a car, children, a wife/husband (or already had more than one), a good job (position), visited a lot of places... You can change your car, your apartment - why? Making new repairs was also possible. Look for a new job - whatever you haven’t already worked for. Learning a new language is possible, but what's the point?
There is no idea that would capture. There is no goal that is attractive. There is satiety from life.
Sometimes this happens to children of successful parents who care too much about their children. All needs were fulfilled so quickly that the child did not really have time to want. Even the idea of need is still in the process of formation, but it has already been given. I tried everything. They gave me too much - so much that I didn’t have time to digest and assimilate. It's getting boring. The result is a loss of interest in life .
Fatigue
Banal fatigue. This happens when the pace of life is high. When there is little time for rest and recuperation. When there is no opportunity to rest: either financially or temporarily, there are a lot of unsolved tasks, or when there is no right to rest until everything is done. Business before pleasure. And things don't end there. Inability to rest. So you have time and money, but your head continues to work and think about pressing matters.
Race, life under the motto “achieve” or “don’t stop there”
There are many goals and objectives, the achievement of which was important not for the person himself, but for his environment. You reach the finish line and would like to catch your breath and enjoy the victory, but they tell you “you can’t relax, you need even more, further, stronger, faster, higher.” Before you have time to realize one achievement, you are rushing after the next.
No time to live. To reach the top and achieve victories, you need to turn off your emotions, not feel tired - just forward. Ultimately, a person forgets what it means to enjoy life. He cannot enjoy the taste, smell, coolness or warmth of sun-warmed sand. Why do all this if you don’t feel, don’t experience life? There is a loss of interest in life.
Obligation, life from the position of obligation
“I owe it to everyone by definition.” - Why? - Because.
These are people who live for others. For anyone: for children, spouses, parents, colleagues, everyone in need and not so much. Some messiahs, rescuers. It is very important for them to be needed and useful. They can do everything, but not for themselves.
After some time they become “empty”. And there is no strength, and therefore no interest.
Loss or lack of strength and energy
What interest is there in life when you have no strength for anything? There may be two reasons here.
The first one is about being tired, burned out, giving all of yourself to someone very important. But I wrote about this earlier.
The second is the initial failure in contact with one’s own life, one’s own vital energy. Loss of contact with your life can also occur for two reasons.
The first is personal. For example, trauma at birth or at birth, severe childhood illness, once there was a threat to life. The second is the so-called intertwining of destinies with one of the relatives. We sometimes unconsciously take on something else: attitudes, beliefs, life scenarios. All this takes a lot of our energy.
I haven’t found my business, my purpose
Or, your place in the world. These are those stories when “I don’t know what I want to do, what’s MINE?” Sometimes the question relates specifically to purpose. Sometimes about a place in life.
People who cannot find their way in the world were not recognized in their parental families. In any case, these are subjective feelings. They do not always correspond to reality, but everyone has their own inner truth.
Closedness of feelings
Feelings are structured in such a way that if you once closed yourself off from some kind of pain because you couldn’t survive it, it was excessive for you, the entire area overlaps.
Feelings live according to the law “all or nothing” - either the whole spectrum or none at all. You cannot close yourself off from negative emotions and continue to enjoy life. And when only echoes of feelings come, there is no interest that would fuel the desire to live. After all, emotions are energy.
Plan your budget
When we begin to think positively, we rely on some kind of magical help from the outside. Winning the lottery, inheritance from relatives, great love, another job... Stop. Don't go crazy.
The ability to create something important despite obvious obstacles is one of the best qualities of a person. We must develop this character trait in ourselves. But you can't hope that someone or something will do everything for you. Plan your budget. Even if it’s difficult, terribly boring, and there’s not much to plan.
If you want to stand on your own two feet and be financially independent, take responsibility for your life. Then you will act, not dream.
What to do if there is a loss of interest in life?
Put yourself first
This is not about egocentrism. The world doesn't revolve around you. But your life is for you. And in your life it is important to give yourself a main place. This means that you feel and are aware of your needs and desires. And do something to ensure that your needs are met.
You don't wait for your husband, wife, dad, mom, children to give you time and resources to implement and achieve your goals. You look for opportunities yourself. For example, with an effort of will, you free up time for your favorite activity or relaxation.
Look for something that will inspire you, ignite you
It may be a simple desire, small, but no less significant for you. Or a hint will come from outside - someone’s example. And it will interest you.
Every day do something new that you haven't done before. And then loss of interest in life will not threaten you. Don't put off implementing your idea until later. This “later” may never happen. If you have wanted, dreamed, planned something for a long time, but still haven’t gotten around to it, do now what is achievable and realistic.
Take a rest
If you want a “seal” vacation from the category of “doing nothing” - allow yourself this.
Now many people talk about the need to get involved in something, strive for something, travel, lead a healthy lifestyle, play sports, eat right, be an activist, etc. Are all people like this? Is this philosophy close to everyone?
If you are not interested in traveling, but want a simple all-inclusive holiday, in the country or in idleness at home, do what you feel is right for you. I don’t want to run to the gym after work, and on the weekend get all 150 new experiences, including skydiving - forget it. If you want to sit at home with a book, do it.
It is important to learn to rest. It's not about looking for a variety of leisure activities. It’s about learning to relax the mind, the brain, and stop the thought process. Any relaxation techniques or bodily practices are suitable for this.
For example, the following exercise. Lie on your back in star pose. Take a few deep breaths in and out. Each entry is deeper and slower. Now your attention moves to your feet: you listen to the sensations in your toes, feet, and ankle joints. Attention rises higher: shins, knees, hips, lower abdomen, belly, chest, shoulders, arms. Flows to the buttocks, rises along the back, neck, back of the head, crown, forehead, face.
With your attention, you seem to touch every part of the body, saying: “I hear you, thank you for your service.” From the “touch” the muscles relax and tension goes away.
When you have heard each part of the body individually, you pay attention to the entire body and send it a wave of gratitude. Take a few deep breaths in and out again. The exercise is best done before bed. While doing this, you may suddenly fall asleep. This is fine.
This way you will learn to relax. The flow of thought will pause for a time, giving the mind a rest so that it can recuperate and be more efficient the next day.
Reconsider your responsibilities
Of course, it is impossible to live without obligations. We are social creatures. We cannot live outside of society, outside of people. Only Robinsons can actively live on a desert island and find their Fridays there. And then, mind you, not alone, but with a woman.
That is why we have obligations to someone, and someone to us. But obligations are a matter of choice, voluntary. What about parents and children? - you ask. We must take care of elderly parents or grandparents! Yes. This is one of the obligations. Only you need to fulfill them not at the cost of your life, but to the best of your ability.
Is it possible not to care, to relieve yourself of these obligations, I didn’t ask to give birth? Can. You decide for yourself what is best for you. Each choice has its own price, with which you must internally agree.
Sometimes, in order for good changes to happen in your life, it is necessary to reduce communication with your parents or interrupt it, maybe for a while. This happens when parents treat children as their property, as an investment in their old age: “you will look after me in my old age.”
And sometimes the person himself needs to reconsider his relationship with his parents and learn not only to receive, but also to give something in return.
Obligations are what I voluntarily take upon myself, I am voluntarily ready to perform certain functions in relation to other people. And I do this to the best of my ability and ability.
Find your place in the world
For example, through purpose. Remember who you wanted to be as a child, what you liked to do, what games you liked. This will be a hint for you. Children intuitively know what their purpose is, and they realize it in games.
Learn to enjoy little things, laugh, smile
To do this, it is important to cope with the blocking of feelings and consciously include your feelings from each action.
Regain your strength
This means you need to find where the failure occurred and fix it: return contact with your life or remove the intertwining of destinies.
I want you to understand: losing interest in life is not a death sentence. While you are alive, a lot can change. You can regain interest in life, fill yourself with strength and energy, and become a little happier. Something you can easily do yourself. In some cases, you will need the help of a specialist. And if you need help, I am ready to provide it to you.
Stop agreeing
Many of us take jobs we hate, buy useless things, and put up with bad attitudes. And life ceases to be enjoyable.
We worry about little things imposed on us by someone from the outside. We are convinced that absolutely everything can be achieved with the snap of a finger. Have you met at least one person who really succeeded?
Set your priorities. Decide what is most important to you at the moment.
Let go of the shackles and focus on what matters most.
What you agree to will take up your free time, attention and money. Only you can decide what it will be. Don't go wrong with your choice.
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“Losing interest in life is not a death sentence!”
Combine your strengths
Gary Vaynerchuk knows wine, video and business. He launched Wine Library TV, a webcast dedicated to wine. Steve Jobs understood design and technology. He created the Mac. P Diddy (Sean Combs), an American rapper and producer, understands music, people and has good taste. He created his own clothing brand, Sean John.
Many of us make a list of our skills and then wonder how to use them correctly. Try a different approach. Consider all your talents as a whole. Try combining them. You will have a unique set of skills and interests.
Find out what makes you stand out from the rest and will help you succeed in your desired field. Then make an action plan. You will understand how great it is to be yourself.
Get rid of the haters
By allowing a bunch of haters into your life, you're expending a lot of energy trying to keep your cool. It is pointless.
Just don't give in to provocations. Don't pay attention to haters, even if it's someone close to you. Stick to your position. Then no one can break your faith in yourself.
Surround yourself with people who won't drag you down. Those who will support your goals and aspirations. So you realize that many doubts were just an echo of what you heard about yourself.
Physical exercise
Almost all materials on changing your life have this point. And this is not without reason. Even ten minutes of physical activity in the form of exercise in the morning can help combat stress.
Photo by CATHY PHAM on Unsplash
Of course, in the modern pace of life it is very difficult to include sports in life, so seasonal physical activity will be enough, for example, in the summer it could be a bike ride, in the winter - skating and skiing, and in the spring and autumn - jogging and long-distance walks.
