Personal growth
Life without goals, no matter how obvious it may sound, becomes aimless. Why don't wishes come true so often? Why do our dreams continue to be just dreams? People without goals become susceptible to other people's wishes. They are doing absolutely not what they should be doing in their lives. Instead of pursuing their goals, they are interrupted by small joys. There is one cool exercise called “100 goals in life.” It helps you set your life priorities and start moving towards the life of your dreams.
Exercise “100 Goals”
Formulate 100 goals that you would like to achieve. No more and no less.
Of course, doing this right away is not so easy. It is best to write down 10 goals over time.
There is no need to arrange them in ascending or descending order of importance or complexity. Just write down everything you would like to do or have in life.
Once the list of life goals is written, it will immediately become much clearer which goals should be focused on in the first place.
Scientific evidence
The following figures from the world of science can be considered striking examples of goals. For example, Burress Skinner, while studying at Harvard, put himself under a very strict study regime, spending only 15 minutes a day on extraneous matters.
Sounds impressive, doesn't it? An even more amazing example is Alexander Lyubishchev. Back in 1918, he set himself a life goal - to create a natural system of organisms.
At that time he was 28 years old, and he gave himself 90 years to reach his goal. Then he drew up his life plan, where he divided these ninety years into five-year plans. There was no time for jokes here; all activities were accompanied by reports.
Weekly, monthly, annual, five-year. Based on the latter, a plan was drawn up for the next 5 years of work.
Alexander worked in this intensive mode for the next 54 years. But this does not mean that everyone should put themselves in such a framework. Do you need to have a global life goal?
Perhaps the answer will be negative, it all depends on your worldview, life philosophy and level of personal development. In this way, goals in the social sphere are also formed.
What is the difference between a dream and a goal in life?
A dream is a romanticized and distant concept. A goal in life is a specific life goal that you strive for. The main difference is that a dream is when a person dreams about the future and does nothing to realize it.
If you are actively trying to make your dream come true, that is already a goal.
Dream or goal?
Examples of dreams rather than goals:
- become rich (how, when, how rich?);
- achieve ideal physical shape (the ideal is different for everyone);
- become an astronaut (1 in 10 people flies into space after serious preparation);
- Travel all around the world;
Here are some goals in life:
- become a volunteer in a public organization, help people or animals;
- pick up a child from the orphanage and provide him with a happy life;
- become a professional gymnast/gymnast;
- sell your own creativity for $1 thousand;
- visit 10-100 countries/cities of the world;
When you outline a clear action plan for yourself (when, how much, how), you take the first step towards your goal. This is called defining a goal in life.
Human development goals
To realize the goal of life, a person needs only average abilities, but not enough average courage. Strength of mind is needed less than courage to resist the circumstances and prejudices of others.
A person is not effective at achieving a goal that does not lead him to something greater than the goal itself . Therefore, it is so important to practice understanding your desires, needs, values, know your strengths and be able to work for pleasure.
A goal without meaning is a dead end
Set short-term goals for self-exploration, searching for your untapped talents. Learn to overcome preconceptions about yourself and what you already “know.” Develop self-confidence, form an opinion based on personal experience. Develop courage and ability to work. You will need all this when you are ready to solve an important problem or implement a complex project.
What goals can there be in life?
Human aspirations are divided into:
- long-term;
- short-term;
Any goal implies a clear deadline for completion. Short-term goals are achieved after a day, a week, a month. Long-term ones take several months or years to complete.
Short term goals in life
A person seeking to find the meaning of his existence must set small goals for himself. This way you will know what is feasible for you and what is difficult or impossible. For example:
- give up several types of unhealthy foods starting tomorrow (flour, sweets);
- draw up a motivation sheet before the evening;
- sign up for a gym within a month;
Long term goals in life
Long-term goals can be set when several steps have already been completed. For example, you want a good car, but with your current income this is impossible.
Then you start looking for a high-paying job and find a suitable option for yourself. And here an obstacle appears: the desired position requires knowledge of the language, the ability to drive a vehicle, and programming skills. Then you set yourself a long-term goal:
- learn English to a conversational level in 4 months;
- pass exams at a driving school;
- learn a programming language in six months;
- This is called long-term planning.
How to determine the purpose of life?
One of the main problems of a person on a spiritual level is life without a goal. People who don’t know why they live run the risk of going astray and falling under the negative influence of others or current circumstances.
The lack of purpose pushes them towards self-destruction, including drug use, or other types of addiction.
How can we understand what the purpose of life is? First of all, listen to yourself, your inner voice and your desires. To determine your calling and purpose, you need to become as sincere as possible with yourself.
What are they and how are they different? Vocation is a person’s ability to engage in a certain type of activity. For example, a calling to become a scientist, engineer, or chess player.
Purpose is the role that the world assigns to a person. Ideally, if vocation and purpose coincide, then it is easiest for a person to understand his main goal in life, bringing maximum benefit to himself and those around him.
Here are effective methods to help you determine your life goals:
- Self-analysis - completely analyze all your thoughts, experiences, fantasies, draw up a mental map of your personality;
- Childhood memories - since in the early years a person is as sincere as possible in his interests, then remembering his childhood hobbies, it is much easier to understand his real self;
- Requests from others - given that you can see better from the outside, it is advisable to analyze what requests others most often make in order to understand what you can do best;
- Idols - you should take a close look at those people who arouse interest and desire to imitate, find out what life goals motivate them, and take this information into service;
- Fiction books - help you get acquainted with dozens and hundreds of biographies, learn different life roles and choose the one that suits you most;
- New acquaintances - by analogy with books, make it possible to expand your worldview, understand people, find out who has what goal, find a hint for finding your guiding star;
- Coaching is a practice of attracting spiritual teachers and mentors as ancient as the world, which has gradually transformed into a training or consulting format.
Each of these techniques is effective on its own. If you use several or all, then the probability of finding your purpose in life will increase to almost one hundred percent, and having found it, you will need to correctly plan your further actions.
A man's life goals
Business is the main goal to which a man devotes his time [2]. Without work, he is incompetent. Ideally, this is some kind of enterprise with a humanistic idea, aimed at helping and developing other people.
It is vital for masculine nature to explore the world, seize territories (markets), compete with others, promote new goods and services. By realizing his undertaking, a man realizes himself in this world. Business is the second face of a real man.
A man is a researcher by nature.
One of the most important goals in a man’s life is his BUSINESS.
List of examples of goals for a man and a guy for 5–10 years:
- Explore business management methods from your own experience.
- Set 50 intermediate or medium-term goals and achieve them.
- Develop the company to a turnover of $1 million.
- Create a service that makes life easier for other men.
- Become an expert in your specialty.
How to achieve goals, slowly and to the delight of yourself and your loved ones?
We know that everyone is different. They have different psychotypes, abilities, charisma, efficiency, intuition. Therefore, everyone lives, creates, realizes their dreams and goals DIFFERENTLY, based on their abilities and character.
Let's look at a small example. I will now describe the “portrait” of my successful friend:
- He is an optimist, this helps him a lot in his business.
- He has good abilities, but he is lazy.
- At some moments, when he needs to get together and do something important, laziness recedes and he becomes assertive and purposeful.
- He is also a very spontaneous person. If he gets excited about an idea, he immediately implements it without thinking. Because of this, there are often losses, but in general the job is done quickly.
- He often relies on intuition and if something “doesn’t go well,” he easily puts it aside, knowing that in “due time” it will be done easily.
- He does a lot of things absolutely selflessly, helping people.
Now you can roughly imagine (based on this characteristic) how my friend achieves his goals: sometimes lazily, sometimes impulsively, sometimes assertively and purposefully, sometimes relying on intuition. But he never goes against his nature, character, his moral principles. And this is the secret of his success.
Do you understand what I'm getting at? I want to say that we are all different and what you definitely shouldn’t do when achieving your goals is don’t break yourself. There is no need to drive yourself into a state of stress, no need to reproach yourself for being sluggish. And never go against the dictates of your heart and do something you don’t like just because everyone has such a goal on their list.
For example, I don’t like to exercise in the gym. Let everyone go, but I won’t, because I tried it several times and was convinced that it didn’t bring me pleasure, and therefore no benefit.
Don’t listen to anyone who says that you need to devote so much time to your goal each day, that you need to schedule everything by day and hour. In this case, you will turn into a slave to your ambitions. You need your goals in order to live an interesting life, love, be a happy person, and do what you love.
Live slowly, enjoy life, give up rushing at home, at work and in relationships with all people. Many progressive people from many countries have already come to this idea of slow life.
And stop reproaching your children for their sluggishness the way your parents reproached you (I recommend an article on how to raise happy children and unleash their intellectual and creative potential:
How to raise a child without yelling and punishment?). Since we are talking about children, I also recommend that you read an article about progressive alternative education and promising professions of the future that will be in demand in 10 years or more.
Conclusion: In order to start living a more interesting life, without delay, sit comfortably now and write, without thinking, as many small and big things, goals, objectives and desires as possible.
And then, if the mood strikes, you can divide them into financial, personal and others. For big and small. But I will tell you that I always write down my life goals, desires and dreams in a row. And I divided them today for the first time just for this article, so that it becomes clear what the goals are.
Do you like this approach to business? No tediousness! I like this new positive approach to life - do everything with joy, as your heart tells you!
Finally, I suggest you watch a wonderful video describing an ingenious and simple way of how to joyfully and effectively achieve results in 4 areas of your life goals. I loved the idea of setting small goals along the way to big ones and celebrating each one's accomplishments! At the same time, cover all 4 areas of your life and set only one goal at the beginning. I'm taking this cool idea to heart!
Why is it important to have a goal?
So why is it important to have a purpose in life? Let’s immediately clarify that this does not have to be some kind of global goal like a Nobel Prize or an Oscar for best role. Goals do not have to be global. It is quite enough if they are yours and not imposed from outside.
Why does a person need goals in life?
- Goals add meaning to your daily routine. You don't just go to a boring, dull job - you earn money to go to Africa and go on a real African safari. You don't sit back and lie on the couch - you maintain peace of mind and concentrate your energy for future achievements.
- Goals organize your daily activities and protect you from unnecessary movements. When you don’t know what to do, agree to something or refuse, you can always relate the situation to your life goals and how the upcoming actions contribute to achieving it. People who do not have such guidelines, at least approximate ones, are doomed to hesitate longer and become more nervous in ambiguous situations.
- Goals give you motivation to take action and prevent you from getting discouraged when things are difficult for you. You were not fired from your job - you were freed up time to travel to Africa. And you can earn money not only by sitting at your desk in the office.
I think these three arguments are enough to somehow think about what you want in this life. And to make it more convenient to think, it’s time to transfer all these goals to paper.
Human needs
Before making a list, you should understand what is priority and vital for a person. Air, drink, food, sleep - the 4 most important needs of organic life.
The second row comes health, housing, clothing, sex, recreation - necessary attributes of life, but secondary. Unlike animals, humans tend not only to satisfy the basic needs of life; they want to do this while receiving aesthetic pleasure.
It is impossible for a person to live without satisfying primary needs, and without satisfying secondary needs it is difficult. Therefore, if at least one link in this chain is destroyed, the person suffers physically, firstly, morally, secondly.
He's unhappy. But even if all the vital needs of an individual are satisfied, his life cannot be called happy. This is such a paradox.
Therefore, the 50 vitally important, priority goals of a person must necessarily include points, through the implementation of which the primary and secondary needs of a person would be satisfied.
Adding to the list such goals as “buying your own house” or “relaxing at sea”, “doing the necessary medical operation” or “getting your teeth treated and inserted”, “buying a fur coat” and “buying a car” may not be so important for complete happiness ( why - will be discussed below), but achieving them makes living on earth more comfortable for people. To satisfy these needs and achieve the goals listed above, an individual needs money. And, when selecting the 50 most important goals of a person, the list must include an item regarding the financial condition of the individual. Examples of such goals:
- find a high-paying job;
- open your own business;
- ensure that the business generates a net income of more than $10,000 per month, and the like.
Get a tattoo
Today it is fashionable to decorate your body with beautiful designs. Do you want to get a tattoo? Making your wishes come true is very simple. You need to find or draw a beautiful sketch, and then sign up for a consultation at a tattoo parlor. You need to find a good master who will make a high-quality drawing and will not harm your health. Ask your friends who have already done tattoos where and how much they got their designs done. It is not difficult to make such a wish come true. But remember that such decoration will remain with you for life. Therefore, choose a drawing that will be relevant to you not only today, but will also remain symbolic in 10-20 years.
You can write a “bucket list” and include a tattoo on it. But remember that such a desire should not be realized immediately. The opinions of others on this matter should not bother you. But if you know your changeable nature, first start implementing other items on the list, and after a month or two, think again about a tattoo. If the desire to decorate your body remains, then you can safely make an appointment with a specialist.
Demand as the main component of happiness
In addition, for complete happiness of an individual, something else is necessary. And this “something” is called recognition. Only when in demand does a person feel his importance, pleasure, and happiness.
Each person has their own criteria for recognition. For some, a simple “thank you” for preparing dinner is enough. Others feel a feeling of complete happiness from the manifestations of tenderness of a sexual partner - this is recognition, the identification of an individual among all others.
For some, it is enough to bring sterile cleanliness to the house and hear words of admiration from their neighbors, while others need to see delight in the eyes of those they meet when they see their appearance, figure, outfit, hairstyle.
For others, it is important to recognize them as excellent parents. For the fourth, recognition on a broader level is necessary. These fourth people do not limit the circle of people with whom they want to be recognized: relatives, loved ones, neighbors, fellow travelers, passers-by.
These are scientists, pioneers, major businessmen, creative people and a number of other professions. The most successful are people who receive recognition both from their loved ones, friends, children, neighbors, and from colleagues, fans, viewers, readers - a wider range of people.
It is important to add the appropriate items to the list of “50 goals in my life.” Examples of such goals could be:
- find your soul mate to create a family, who (who) will be such and such, for whom I will feel respect, love (passion), feelings must be reciprocated;
- help my son successfully finish school;
- give children higher education;
- defend a thesis;
- release your own collection of stories (disc of songs) or organize an exhibition of paintings.
Creative goals for the year
First of all, creativity can be called such a state of a person when his soul is revealed. It should undoubtedly give joy and pleasure from self-expression. And this is not necessarily just culture and art. You can choose your goals for the year from this list:
- Speak publicly to an audience of more than 1000 people.
- Write and submit 12 articles to an online publication on topics that are relevant to you.
- Create the perfect resume and biography.
- Write and publish your book.
- Be an artist and draw a picture.
- Learn public speaking skills in special courses.
- Buy a quality business suit.
- Help someone learn and develop in an area that is relevant to you.
- Do a business style photo shoot.
- Take part in offline training.
- Learn to play any musical instrument.
- Learn a dance: salsa, tango, step, breakdance or any other of your choice.
Health and beauty
These are perhaps one of the most important components in a person’s life. And often beauty directly depends on the state of human health as a whole. You need to love and take care of yourself every day. What can you do for this:
- Master bodyflex (breathing exercise technique).
- Take a course of therapeutic or cosmetic massage.
- Within a month, develop a routine: go to bed at 22.00 and get up at 6.00.
- Visit the sauna or steam bath twice a month.
- Undergo a full medical examination at the clinic.
- Cleanse the body using a detox program.
- Give up bad habits: alcohol, smoking, drinking large amounts of sugar.
- Conduct meditation once a week.
- Stop drinking coffee or significantly reduce it.
- Every morning, carry out hardening procedures (contrast shower or dousing with cold water).
- Change your image and style.
- Remove 10 unhealthy foods from your diet in a year
- Regularly set aside time for self-care, going to a beauty salon or spa.
- Update your wardrobe by choosing a new style.
- Lose excess weight or gain muscle mass.
- Maintain water balance in the body: drink about 2 liters of clean water per day.
Sports goals for the year
It's no secret that playing sports improves your health. And in general, sport always has a positive effect on well-being, helps to maintain a good figure, attractiveness, and gives a boost of energy and positive emotions. Don't deny yourself, try something new:
- Ride an ATV through desert terrain.
- Learn to shoot a bow, crossbow, or gun.
- Three months of training in the gym under the guidance of a trainer.
- Go snowboarding (alpine skiing).
- Stretch regularly to do the splits.
- Take part in a race (marathon).
- Go on a 50 km bike ride.
- Take a parachute jump (or jumping).
- Improve your stretching and do the splits.
- Take up a new sport (tennis, swimming, horse riding, etc.).
- Learn a couple dance with a partner.
- Do morning 5-minute exercises every day.
- Every day, stand in the plank for 3 minutes (or more at your discretion).
- Feel the absence of gravity (for example, flying in a wind tunnel, in an airplane with a controlled fall).
Job
- Find your unique skills that give you the most bang for your buck. Self-knowledge is an endless process. You can't get hung up on this. This is the support that will make you more effective.
- Learn to enter a state of flow. Read Flow by Mihaly Csíkeszentmihalyi. There's more about it there. In other words, learn to enjoy solving complex problems.
- Become a master of your craft. The path of the master is the path to happiness. You can lose money, family, friends, but your skills remain. If you master a craft, you will recover from any fall, because there are internal supports. External supports are easy to lose, unlike internal ones.
- Find a teacher who will teach you the intricacies of the matter. If you want to learn something, then the most effective option is to find someone who knows how. He will show and teach. You will have to pay for this. Time is also a currency.
- Start a personal brand. The master has something to talk about and share. Others have a lot to learn. And a personal brand is a good way to show expertise.
- Fill out the entire matrix of a successful environment. Someday I will write an article about this.
- To write a book. Information rules today. A book is a way to leave it for posterity. I'm sure every person's life is like a great TV series.
- Become an independent consultant/entrepreneur. If you have the skills and experience, then why not work for yourself. Taking larger sums than working for hire. Yes, there is more responsibility, but if you have a head, then there is profit.
- Prepare family affairs for retirement. I wrote above that we need to help our parents in retirement. Now I’m saying that I need to prepare myself for retirement. Build capital to live off the interest.
- Become an investor. To receive interest on capital, you need to understand investments. Without this skill, there is no talk about capital growth.
- Learn to sell. If you are a great craftsman, but can’t string together 5 words in a sentence, then they won’t buy from him. They won’t buy it because they won’t understand what the master is saying. The ability to sell is a skill that distinguishes a professional from a simple specialist.
- Assemble/find a team that is pleasant to work with. The modern world is a complex thing. We cannot know everything about everything. Even the simplest project requires different specialists. If you find a team of craftsmen, the work will be completed at the highest level.
- Prepare for death. No one plans to die, but it would be better to write a will and resolve all inheritance issues in advance. It’s a good idea to prepare all your relatives. Because subsequently the family did not split.
Basic Rules
For successful , harmonious development and advancement, and this is precisely why a person sets a goal, I have identified 5 main areas, ignoring which will not provide a feeling of fullness and quality of life. The main rule is not to keep this list in your head; you must put it on paper. This will add responsibility to the process, and will also remind you of some things that can easily be forgotten when trying to fulfill your most pressing dreams for a given period.
The list can be hung in your room or office so that it is in front of your eyes, or kept from prying eyes if there is information that you do not want to share with others. I wrote down other people's goals, they can serve as examples for you, because everyone has different interests and needs. Just try on each item for yourself and listen whether it suits you or not.
Let me remind you that I write about my goals here.
Property
- Buy your own 4-room apartment or build a house. The family should live in a normal house. A big family has a big house.
- 3 apartments for rent. This is an option for a reliable minimum pension in old age. A kind of rentier.
- Buy a house by the sea. I'm from Siberia. Everyone here yearns for the sea and plans to move to warmer climes in their old age. Do not be surprised.
- Buy and master a musical instrument. I already wrote above about increasing serotonin.
- Buy a car for yourself and your wife. The goal is optional. More likely for status and freedom of movement.
- Make a real photo album with printed photographs. The goal is cheap to implement, but I’m sure it will bring a lot of joy. When you are old, you look at these photographs and recognize the places you have visited.
- Create a family tree for your family. This can be ordered from special organizations. It will be interesting.
- Earn enough capital for a long retirement. The point is to earn capital quickly and then do interesting things. Volunteering is also suitable.
- Plant a beautiful garden with fruits and berries.
- Again, avoid dumb goals. We are mortal. Read 1000 books. OK. This is an achievable goal within 20 years. But why? It will take a lot of time. The question is how much good will it be? Books should be read on demand when there is not enough information.
Some people say that there should be one purpose in life. This is pickiness about words. Yes, the purpose of life is in life itself, in obtaining pleasure. I recommend reading the article if you don’t understand why you should live. You can have fun in different ways. All that's left is to find your favorite ones.
Apartment
Young people who live with their parents dream of owning their own home. Thanks to a mortgage, you can move into an apartment tomorrow. You can take a closer look at suitable options today. An apartment is an example of what many people want. If your friends managed to arrange their own housing, then you will succeed too. Don't think that people are just lucky. Apartments are bought by those people who are working to realize their desires. First of all, you need to find a job that can provide a normal standard of living. It is clear that if you earn 15 thousand rubles. per month, it’s stupid to think about a mortgage. Find a higher paying profession. Understand that nothing is impossible in this life. You can always get a second education or improve your skills in specialized courses. Don't be afraid to invest money in your development. If you don’t do this today, then your dreams of an apartment will remain dreams. Take action and you will succeed.
Lifehacks for achieving goals
Over many years of practice in goal setting (or even, more importantly, goal achievement), I have empirically developed for myself several working life hacks that make it easier to achieve results.
Agile approach
I really like two principles from the Agile philosophy; they work great not only in software development, but also for personal projects:
- Bias for Action. If you're going to try something new, don't spend a lot of time researching the issue and preparing the "perfect plan." Instead, start with concrete actions that practically bring you closer to your final goal: start going to the gym, sign up for a programming course, meet the business owner and discuss your idea with him. It will be much easier to understand the nuances and draw up a sensible plan along the way than while theorizing on the couch.
- Minimum Viable Product (“minimum viable product”). Don’t try to do it perfectly right away - such a high bar is usually difficult to achieve, and you are guaranteed to “slip” trying to overcome it. It is better to approach the issue step by step - first implement the minimum acceptable solution (which, nevertheless, will at least somehow work), and then you can gradually improve it. This is much easier than trying to do it perfectly right away; Moreover, in the process of gradual improvement, it may turn out that the ideal is not needed - approaching it by 70–80% may well be sufficient (according to the Pareto principle).
Micro steps
This principle somewhat echoes the previous ones. To change your life, regularity and long-term orientation are much more important, and not some one-time super-efforts.
Usually people approach their goals in the opposite way: if they are going to take care of their health, then they must definitely start going to the gym so that they can work themselves out until they lose their human appearance and crawl out on all fours, vomiting in the corridor with all their strength.
Need I say that forcing yourself to regularly engage in such self-rape is somewhat, ahem, difficult?
It’s much more reasonable, in my opinion, to start small - even if it’s ridiculously small at first. For example, for a week you can at least just come to the gym regularly and not do anything terrible there, just walk on the treadmill.
As soon as you get used to the feeling, you can move on to the next stage - introduce some light exercises, and so on. In 10 years, it won’t matter to you at all: you started out hardcore, or got involved gradually over the course of a month.
The only thing that will matter is whether you quit or not. So, micro-steps help reduce the likelihood of premature quitting.
Furious attack method
I wrote above that in all controversial cases I try to give priority to the main goal of the year, and only then deal with goals from other areas of life.
Therefore, closer to the middle of the year, I sometimes notice that in some areas nothing interesting happens for months. In this case, I use the “violent attack method.”
It consists in the fact that I temporarily change my priorities, and for one week I put one of the secondary areas of this year at the forefront. And I try to do as much as possible in a week that will allow me to get things moving.
Usually, after such a concentrated push, it is much easier to continue by inertia, and the rest of the year doing something to achieve this goal in the background is no longer difficult.
Getting Things Done
For a long time I did not use any task managers, I wrote tasks for myself in a paper diary or in my Excel file, and considered David Allen’s famous Getting Things Done system to be confusing nonsense that only complicates life.
But recently the topic of GTD came up in a conversation with Grisha Mastrider, and it turned out that my approach to time and task management is actually quite close to this concept (if you remove all the old school Allen nonsense with dozens of paper folders).
So I switched to the Todoist app, made a few adjustments to my system in accordance with the precepts of GTD - and now I am quite pleased with the result. Using a special application to manage tasks turned out to be much more convenient.
Exercise 10 goals from Brian Tracy for the naive
Brian Tracy is a renowned consultant and self-development coach. His typical exercise goes like this: write down a goal, make a plan, take action. No one would ever think of doing that