Temperament and character - what can we change?

Table of contents

Temperament is what we are born with
Character is what makes us unique
When developing character, we take into account temperament
Is it possible to influence the character of an adult?

In order to work on ourselves, we need to clearly understand what we can change in ourselves and what we cannot.

Each of us has a temperament and character. Scientists define these levels of the psyche in different ways. Some say that they are one and the same thing or consider temperament to be part of character. Others contrast them. But the most widespread idea in our time is the idea of temperament as the biological basis of character.

Temperament is what we are born with

This is our biological characteristic. We cannot consciously influence it much more than we can influence the size of our heart.

Temperament determines a person’s emotionality, the speed of his mental processes, the dynamic properties of a person - for example, strength, pace, speed of reaction to various phenomena and events. It is important to understand that temperament rather characterizes the general way and direction of a person’s interaction with the world. It influences how we react to various events and what emotional habits we have.

Words with which we describe temperament: phlegmatic, melancholic, choleric, sanguine (according to the names of the 4 main types of temperament), as well as mobile, impetuous, calm, balanced, excitable, energetic, sensitive, hot-tempered.

Temperament serves as the basis for character development, but does not at all predetermine it.

Failure to manage your temperament can lead to health problems - overly impressionable people who are unable to soften their natural excitability with the habit of prudence are more susceptible to stress than people with a calm temperament. A striking literary example of an extremely phlegmatic person, capable of overcoming any adversity in life without much emotional loss, is Major McNabbs from Jules Verne’s book “The Children of Captain Grant.”

Making adjustments to our life

A person can change for the better by ridding himself of negative qualities

A person may have certain character traits that he would like to get rid of, which prevent him from living fully. In such a situation, maximum efforts must be made to bring about change. Let's look at what shortcomings should definitely be eliminated and how to do it.

Complete dependence on the opinion of another person. It is necessary to understand that this phenomenon also affects the development of low self-esteem. Your task is to change your opinion about yourself, identify your positive qualities, concentrate on them, come to terms with shortcomings if they cannot be corrected, learn to live, relying, first of all, on your instincts and your ideas.
Fear of failure. This quality hinders the full development of personality and interferes with self-realization. In such a situation, it is unlikely that you will be able to cope with the phobia on your own. It is better to seek help from a professional psychologist, who will not only relieve you of this fear, but also add self-confidence.
A tendency to depression often affects personality changes in a negative direction. It is important that in the life of every person there is motivation that would allow him to move forward. You need to understand that on the path of life there can be not only black stripes, but also white ones; the sun always comes out after the rain. You need to look for positive moments in every situation, learn to enjoy every day, set goals for yourself, and strive to achieve them.

We have considered only three qualities that can hinder success, career growth, and personal happiness. In fact, there are many more of them. Your task is to understand that a person needs to change if his shortcomings interfere with a full life.

Now you know the answer to the question “do people change over time?” In fact, changes occur in the life of every person. But for some they are expressed more clearly, for others they are almost invisible. In addition, it is worth considering the fact that people who are constantly nearby practically do not notice changes in your personality, unless they are drastic. Whereas a person with whom there has been no contact for a long period of time will immediately notice the changes that have occurred.

Character is what makes us unique

Character covers all qualities formed under the influence of the environment. People with similar temperaments can have completely different personalities. Moreover, character is plastic and can change simply over time or a change in life situation. Character traits can also be changed through conscious efforts.

Character is understood as the characteristics of a person’s personality, on which a person’s behavior in various situations depends and by which one can judge his possible actions in certain conditions.

The diversity of all character traits makes us inimitable and unique. However, there are some features that can be called typical.

Words with which we describe character: courageous, honest, proactive, hardworking, conscientious, cowardly, lazy, secretive, strong-willed, firm, responsible, flexible, absurd, sociable, nasty, obstinate, scandalous, harmful, grumpy, active, principled , unyielding, vengeful, changeable, peace-loving, decisive, benevolent, independent, etc.

These properties unite different people and make them somewhat similar. To some extent, it is legitimate to talk about national, professional, age-related character traits. But this division is very conditional, full of exceptions. There is no clear classification of characters - the combinations of different qualities are too diverse and the character is too plastic and changeable.

However, for the convenience of analyzing and correcting characters, they use the method proposed by the famous psychologist, scientific director of the Psychophysiology of Individual Differences laboratory, Professor Boris Mikhailovich Teplov.

He proposed dividing character traits into four groups:

The most general character traits that form the mental make-up of a person. These are integrity, consistency, courage, honesty, reliability, discipline, and activity. Or negative traits - deceit, cowardice.
Traits that reflect attitudes towards other people. These are sociability/secrecy, frankness/secrecy, politeness/rudeness, responsiveness/callousness, sensitivity, tact, etc.
Traits that express a person's attitude towards himself. These are modesty/arrogance, touchiness, shyness, self-esteem, egocentrism (the tendency to focus on oneself and one’s own interests and experiences), selfishness (the tendency to care primarily about personal good), vanity.
Traits expressing attitude towards work. This includes perseverance, initiative/passivity, hard work/laziness, conscientiousness, accuracy, etc.

Character is manifested in the goals a person sets for himself and in the means he uses to achieve these goals. It is closely related to a person’s worldview and beliefs. Thus, by changing our own attitudes (beliefs, attitude towards the world, people, ourselves), we can change our character.

Positive character traits in all groups are the ideal to which a Christian should strive for the glory of God.

Often, a person’s behavior depends too much on external circumstances, on the influence of the people around him. In this case, they say that the person is “characterless.” But in fact, he certainly has character. It’s just that volitional qualities are not expressed in this character.

These strong-willed qualities, like many other character traits, can be developed and shaped.

General information

If you are interested in the question “does a person change throughout life?”, then the answer is yes. First of all, this includes age-related changes in character. So, over time, a person gets rid of childhood qualities, such as irresponsibility, self-centeredness, capriciousness, acquiring as he grows up such traits as tolerance, reasonableness, responsibility and prudence. Undoubtedly, there are exceptions to the rules, for example, the infantilism of an adult man.

Despite the fact that at the end of childhood, most personalities have a formed character, it can undergo changes as they grow older.

First of all, there is no ideal character. Consequently, any individual may desire improvements, getting rid of negative traits, acquiring new, positive qualities.
As you grow older, you accumulate experience that leaves an imprint on your personality. As life experiences develop, a person’s point of view on current events changes, which also affects her way of thinking and lifestyle.
Faced with various life situations and circumstances, a person is forced to act in a new way, developing hitherto non-existent traits.
Changes in character are determined by the individual uniqueness of the individual. May be based on the development of professional or personal life.
A change in the position of an individual in society, a change in his social status also leaves a mark on a person’s fate.

When developing character, we take into account temperament

By “education” we usually mean the formation and development of various character traits.

When raising a child, it is necessary to take into account temperament - this is the basis of character. Some properties of temperament can contribute to the development of some character traits, while they can interfere with the formation of others. The principle of rationality must be observed in everything.

It’s sad to see when parents try through force to force a child with a predominant choleric type of temperament to be diligent, self-possessed, and neat. The word “hyperactivity” is now widely known. But for some reason, they have almost stopped forcefully retraining left-handed people, and raping the psyche of an active child is still considered the norm. Although, if you give an excitable child the opportunity to express his temperament where it is not important, for example, eating - standing, dancing after chewing everything in his mouth; learn lessons by walking around the room, or even running; write not the entire text at once, but upon suggestion, giving the opportunity to indulge in the breaks - then you can achieve great results, and even gradually teach the child to keep his temperament in check, forming the necessary character traits. Indeed, as character develops, temperament has an increasingly less pronounced influence on human behavior.

It’s just that usually such harmonious upbringing requires enormous patience, time, and effort from parents. Not everyone is ready to make these sacrifices. It’s easier to force, and if something happens, to punish for restlessness and other biological qualities. For me, this is the same as punishing someone for the shape of their nose or the shape of their eyes.

I repeat once again: temperament is an innate characteristic, we cannot change it. We can only learn to live by controlling it to some extent.

And character is formed and changes.

Moreover, it is formed in behavior. To become polite, you need to act politely. To become honest, don't lie. To become peaceful and kind - do good deeds and not swear. To avoid being grumpy, don’t grumble. And so on.

The best way to educate, as you know, is by example. True, in order to educate yourself and become a worthy example, you need even more effort, time, patience...

Of course, it’s good when these habits are formed from childhood, because building from scratch is usually easier than remodeling.

Possible reasons for change

Having suffered a serious illness, as well as a serious illness of a loved one, can greatly affect changes in personality

Psychology considers a number of factors that can influence a person, changing his usual way of life, his character, type of worldview, and personal attitudes. The most common reasons include:

Severe mental shock. It can be both negative and positive. For example, the death of a loved one or the birth of a child.
Having spiritual growth. A person gradually improves, daily learns about the world around him, and develops his consciousness. People who are nearby may not notice the changes that occur. As for acquaintances with whom there has been no contact for a long period, when they meet a changed person, they will immediately notice the changes that have occurred. This includes the accumulated experience that changes a person, distinguishes what he was like 10 years ago and now. After all, mistakes made and acquired wisdom allow you to look at the world around you in a new way. However, not everyone changes with age. This is due to the presence or absence of the ability to evaluate the path traveled.
The impact of life circumstances. For example, an individual who has served time in prison can change, both for the worse and for the better. Changing jobs, moving to a new city, all this can affect a person. Finding himself in the company of self-sufficient individuals, the individual begins to change unnoticed by himself, improving his qualities. However, some people, even in the presence of such factors, adapt to environmental changes, remaining unchanged.
Finance is a driver of change, both negative and positive. So, for example, a person with a closed soul, having received a large amount of money, can spend it left and right, allocate considerable sums to charity, and not regret anything. And the previously good-natured, open personality withdraws from the world around him.
The age crisis can leave its mark. Between thirty and forty years, there is often a lack of perfect plans that were previously outlined. A person reconsiders his views, sometimes he can change his way of existence, some qualities can strengthen and become stronger, while others can weaken. Liberation from illusions occurs. Crisis of old age (age over 70 years) - a person analyzes his past, reevaluates himself, notes positive and negative moments in his life. If everything suits him, he understands that he has the right character traits. If he becomes aware of the lack of some qualities, he tries to change himself. At this age, changes are often caused by the loss of loved ones or loneliness.
The presence of a protracted illness forces you to change your usual lifestyle for a long period of time. And a disease that threatens death forces you to reconsider your entire life path. Often a person changes under the influence of his approaching death, even if he managed to avoid it.

How is it formed?

Character begins to form from the first months of life.

At the same time, the main role at this stage belongs to communication with others, since the child imitates loved ones and thus learns forms of behavior.

In addition, there is a special period of character development, which ranges from two to ten years. At this time, children perceive information best, actively communicate with others, and are exposed to outside influence.

The main condition for the formation of character is the social environment, that is, all the people who surround a person in the process of growing up and beyond.

In addition, physiological prerequisites . This refers to the peculiarities of the functioning of the brain, the degree of its development is determined by differences in the character of different people.

Can I change it myself?

All this is of course very individual and depends on many features. There are people for whom changing their own character is easier. And there are those who have to make enormous efforts on themselves .

Your own desire is also important. If you sincerely want to change, then nothing will stop you.

Thus, if you are 30 years old or more, then you can change your character, but this requires a great desire and active work on yourself .

This video is about how to work on negative character traits:

Who is an ambivert? Find out about this from our article.

Psychologist's advice: character change

The work should take place in stages, consciously, with the analysis of all actions, words and thoughts.

First you need to determine the difficulties of your character, how to get rid of them and what this will lead to.

We build a change plan and determine the required amount of time. The deadlines must be set adequately; achieving changes in a day is unrealistic. Be filled with zeal, desire and unwavering will. Just “I want” will not be enough.

The work ahead will not be easy. Praise yourself for any successful action and fight failures. Learn to treat yourself like a child while raising yourself. Get ready for a thorny and winding path.

Attitudes laid down in childhood play a certain role. The hyper-responsibility of parents who overprotect their child from possible bad weather does not give him the opportunity to learn to take responsibility. Subsequently, discouraging the child from any desire to show initiative.

The child adopts the behavior and way of thinking from his parents: “if you hit him on the left cheek, turn the right one,” “it’s better to be poor and happy than rich and ordinary,” “a white lie,” and the like... It will be necessary to work on the negative programming of consciousness.

Changing character for the better

How to change your character for the better? First of all, in order to change your character for the better, you should start with positive thinking and joy from minor everyday things. Can't sleep at night?

Enjoy some peace and quiet while cuddling up in a warm blanket while watching your favorite movie. Has the milk gone sour? Make pancakes from it, increasing the level of your culinary skills.

Sincerity about yourself. It is very important to be honest on the path to change. Avoid guile when answering questions related to the causes of irritation at a given time: your husband constantly wipes his hands on his clothes - tell him that this annoys you.

If you don’t want to go to the party, feel free to refuse. After all, if you come there, you will not only spoil your mood, but with your sad appearance you will spoil the mood of the people around you.