Is it possible to acquire happiness that does not depend on anything?

The article explains:

1. What is happiness in life
2. Scientific explanation of happiness in life
3. Formulas for happiness in life from philosophers, scientists and psychologists
4. 7 components of happiness in life
5. Imaginary attributes of happiness
6. What prevents a person from being happy?
7. 7 Tips for Finding Happiness in Life
8. Biochemistry of happiness in life
9. 7 final recommendations that will help you become a happy person

Happiness in life is different for everyone: some dream of a big family, some of prosperity, some of travel. It all depends on the person’s internal value system and personal goals. It is precisely because of the lack of universal judgments that we are all considered unique individuals. One thing is for sure: everyone wants to be happy.

Today we will tell you which components of happiness are most important for most people, as well as what rules and principles allow you to make your own life happy. Thanks to our advice and recommendations, you will find harmony in life and find what you have been looking for.

What is happiness in life

There are a million different definitions for such a concept as happiness. But the most accurate understanding of happiness is the maximum degree of satisfaction with the conditions of one’s life. This is a fairly laconic and succinct interpretation that does not reduce individual happiness to some strict set of criteria; each person will have their own.

Many people mistakenly believe that the main happiness in life is wealth, material security, the opportunity to get any benefits of civilization for money and realize their whims. Therefore, a huge number of people, like obsessed people, build careers, save money and work extremely hard, just to increase the amount in their bank account and buy more expensive things.

However, even if everything goes well - goals are achieved, a career is built - then wealth is not enough to feel happy. People are very disappointed when they realize that happiness in life does not come down to the tight wallet for which they lived for many years and worked hard. Memoirs of famous rich people are filled with regrets about spending too much time making money in their youth.

The sooner a person understands one important feature of happiness, the easier it will be for him to build his life. Happiness does not last forever: even if you have achieved something and are successful now, this does not mean that you will remain happy and contented for the rest of your life. Therefore, enjoy the present moment and the work you are doing.

In philosophy, happiness is interpreted as a state of extreme satisfaction with one’s life, but with the caveat that no one can be completely happy. The majority of people constantly strive for happiness in life and sometimes reach certain points at which they experience this feeling.

Having achieved a goal, you can experience bright and intense emotions, but they do not last long: they are soon replaced by the usual state of searching for new happiness. Keep in mind that external conditions may be identical, and a person deserves the state of happiness himself, having achieved what he dreamed of, but this is an extremely short-lived state.

Philosophers say that happiness depends little on external factors and is almost completely determined by the mental state of the person himself. For some, the lack of personal life is a sufficient condition to poison any joy from success in work, business and career (even if the person really earns a lot). And for some, a modest salary is enough (enough for food and housing), as long as everything is in order in the family.

Children's happiness and its reasons

Children cannot make decisions on their own; they live under the constant control of their parents, and perceive the world around them under their influence. First of all, it depends on them whether their child will be happy, or will begin to feel flawed, unsure of himself, and complex.

In childhood, every word heard from adults is taken seriously and remembered for life . Some parents make the grave mistake of instilling in their children that they must prove in their lives that they are worth something, otherwise they will remain “nobody” and “nothing.” This approach is dangerous because the child will develop the destructive opinion that he is incapable, weak, a real “Nobody.” Moreover, this belief can “linger” with him until adulthood. Do you think he can become truly happy?

If scandals or showdowns occur in families, it is the children who suffer from this, first of all . The child believes that he is the culprit of what is happening, and he begins to develop first a guilt complex, and then an inferiority complex. Children perceive all situations differently from adults, and therefore their happiness depends primarily on the attitude of their parents towards them.

If you instill in a child that he is capable, smart, that he is loved and cared for, then he will treat himself with sufficient self-respect, and it is quite possible for him to become happy in adulthood . A child’s happiness is to feel needed, loved, desired. If all parents understood this, humanity would have entire generations of happy people.

Formulas for happiness in life from philosophers, scientists and psychologists

• from Socrates

According to the great philosopher of Ancient Greece, happiness is the main goal to which a person should strive, the highest good. But happiness cannot be reduced to wealth, beauty, health, or pleasure. Happiness necessarily includes a moral component: an immoral person cannot achieve happiness in life, since only virtues and prudent behavior make him happy.

• from Aristotle

This ancient thinker also considered bliss, or happiness, in inseparable connection with moral standards and virtuous actions. In addition to moral and intellectual self-improvement, happiness also consists of four other components: active citizenship, friendly communication, prosperity, and health.

• from Epicurus

Epicurus considered love and family relationships an obstacle to achieving real (and not apparent) happiness in life. The philosopher considered such a primitive thing as love unworthy of a wise person. The formula of happiness according to Epicurus is friendship, wisdom, peace of mind, absence of torment, realization of one’s desires (but within the framework of moral principles and beliefs), detachment from society and the state.

And eternal joy...

It is sometimes said that Christians “believe in an afterlife.” This is not entirely untrue, but it creates a false impression. With the concept of “afterlife,” many of us associate the dull existence of a ghost, whose translucent silhouette hovers over the cemetery. The biblical revelation tells a different story - the life we ​​will find is much more real, authentic and immeasurably happier than the present one. As the Apostle Paul says, for we know that when our earthly house, this hut, is destroyed, we have from God a dwelling in heaven, a house not made with hands, eternal. That is why we groan, desiring to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling (2 Cor 5:1-2). We are truly created for happiness, and for happiness much greater than anything we could have dreamed of. The Triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, created us precisely in order to share with us the fullness of love, joy, jubilant, overabundant life that He himself possesses. There we will understand that everything good and beautiful in this world, be it human love, the beauty of nature, great music or great frescoes, conveyed a message from there, from our eternal home, where our spiritual family awaits us with love: saints, angels , Mother of God and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ himself.

If we follow the path of faith and obedience, we will find ourselves in a place where all our sorrows will turn into eternal joy. Moreover, even now, here on earth, keeping the commandments and trusting in God’s help, we will be happier than if we tried to arrange life in our own way. The monstrous, absurd stupidity of sin is that we constantly try to seek happiness where we can only find temporary and eternal misfortune. Repentance is the attainment of sanity as we turn to our true good and purpose—and true happiness.

Drawings by Ksenia Naumova.

Imaginary attributes of happiness

In search of recipes for happiness in life, some people find themselves on the wrong path. Usually taken for happiness:

• Prosperity and material values. If you don’t have your own apartment and car, this is, of course, inconvenient. However, having money to buy a home, car and things in itself does not bring pleasure. So many people make this mistake: they try their best to earn more, but later realize that happiness has not happened.
• Momentary joys and pleasures. Vivid impressions, sex, entertainment, alcohol, parties and other ways to have fun and escape from everyday life are undoubtedly important and sometimes necessary. But they should not be confused with true happiness in life.
• Beauty. Many people hate their own body and appearance because nature has not rewarded them with canonical beauty. They think that being attractive would solve all their problems, but this is not the case. There are many unhappy handsome men and beauties and even more contented and happy people with ordinary appearance.

“Constant happiness is a sign of deviation”: psychologists told how to control the feeling of happiness

Is it possible to be happy all the time? And how to achieve this feeling? When everyone around you is talking about mindfulness, meditation and affirmations, and you are annoyed by sudden rain or rush hour on public transport, does this mean that there is something wrong with you? Or maybe it seems to you that something is always missing for a good mood? The MIR 24 correspondent found out whether it is possible to be constantly happy and how to control your own happiness.

“From a psychological point of view, happiness is a state of mind in which a person feels grateful for what he has. The degree of satisfaction and happiness depends on his expectations. The formula works: perceived reality minus expectation equals happiness or dissatisfaction. Thus, happiness determines a person's values. But for some people, the state of gratitude is poorly formed, and in order to be happy they need to work on this particular factor. Someone, consciously or unconsciously, could experience a reassessment of values ​​due to serious life situations. For example, when life, health or children were at risk,” commented psychologist and scientist in the field of neurophysiology Ivan Komlev.

Even when everything is good, people often expect some kind of catch. This is due to a low level of trust in oneself, the world and people, the expert notes.

“Trust manifests itself in the confidence that if I fall, I will definitely get up. Like, for example, small children who are learning to walk. In the psyche, this is a developed skill. Having basic trust, a person is not afraid of losing anything, his state of happiness becomes more stable in relation to any changes. Being happy is a skill that we develop on our own,” Komlev said.

Happiness in the 21st century is based on having meaning in life: for example, security, love, respect and learning. A person without the meaning of life begins not only to feel unhappy and lonely, but also to suffer from chronic psychosomatic diseases, says forensic psychologist Oleg Dolgitsky.

“Some people think that they have to achieve a lot to be happy. This is connected to the superego, where the demands formed by the parents are located. They may be impossible or very difficult. And in his attempt to evoke the love of his mother or the respect of his father, a person tries to achieve incredible heights in his studies, career, and family. This is called neurosis. Psychologists can work well with neurosis and, with the help of techniques, correct the structure of the work of moral and ethical authorities so that a person can relax, rest and not feel remorse,” explained the psychologist.

According to the expert, you can control your own happiness if you plan your behavior based on meaning.

“For example, starting a family for the sake of love or getting a job for the sake of respect, studying for the sake of knowledge, being creative for the sake of creativity, without setting unrealistic standards. Then the person will feel satisfied and happy. When a person is looking for a trick, this is also a sign of neurosis. However, constant happiness is rather a sign of some kind of deviation. Life goes on, loved ones leave, civilizations collapse. Even the weather tries to either pour rain on us or blow us with an icy wind. Of course, all this causes suffering. Therefore, it is important not to strive for positive thinking or all sorts of affirmations, you just need to clearly understand what you are living for and steadfastly face all the adversities around you,” commented Dolgitsky.

In turn, psychologist Nadezhda Sharshak

believes that you can always be happy if you enjoy every emotion.

“Most often people believe that happiness is the result of random events. In their opinion, good things happen extremely rarely and it seems that everything is for a reason. Expectation of a catch is a consequence of distrust in the world. People do not believe that the world can be friendly and pleasant, much less associate happiness with their personal responsibility. In addition, there is a fear of being judged and rejected, because “laughter for no reason is a sign of a fool.” Truly happy people do not look for a catch, because they realize that they are capable of creating happiness for themselves at any moment and under any circumstances,” Sharshak said.

Shutterstock/FOTODOM

It is important to learn to enjoy the process of life, not the results. Since childhood, we have been praised for our achievements, but not for our demonstrated qualities: responsibility, perseverance, courage or joy. Therefore, most expect the pleasure of victory. Only conscious people see happiness in the little things: inhalation and exhalation, the chirping of birds, the rays of the sun, legs walking, arms working, the brain thinking, notes psychologist Pyotr Galigabarov.

“Clients often come to me with the request to “find happiness.” The catch is that the content of “happiness” is different for everyone. If someone was loved only for outstanding achievements, then he will expect a feeling of happiness from victories. If another, no matter how hard he tries, is never praised, but only criticized, there will be a completely different attitude towards the search for happiness. I believe that it is quite possible to always be happy. I recently spoke with a man who is going to chemo and has cancer. He met a former colleague. He was completely healthy physically, but began to complain about life and asked to borrow money. The cancer patient gave him the money he had with him and was left without lunch, but was happy to be alive. That he has this moment between the past and the future. He is mentally healthy,” the psychologist added.

To develop happiness, you don’t have to resort to expensive psychotherapy. You can, for example, develop optimism, not compare yourself with other people, and find the good in the bad, adds psychologist Ilya Shabshin.

“Practices that promote a sustainable feeling of happiness include: expressing gratitude for what you have, developing optimism, finding the good in the bad, not comparing yourself to other people, maintaining and developing close relationships, developing the ability to cope with trauma and crises, learning forgive. And also enjoy the pleasant moments of life, set goals, maintain good physical shape,” he commented.

For decades, psychology has focused on working with psychological problems. However, with the advent of positive psychology, the focus has shifted towards research into what makes a person happy. Proponents of positive psychology argue that the state of happiness is not something innate, stable and unchangeable, but something that people can and should constantly work on, says psychologist Olga Korotko.

“Happiness is not the absence of negative events, but the ability to withstand them while maintaining optimism and resilience. Research shows that happiness is influenced not by one or another life situation in itself, but by how we interpret it for ourselves and what method of response we choose. Life's difficulties and adversities can either become a source of great stress for you or become useful, depending on the meaning you put into these situations. They can break you down or make you stronger and motivate you to take positive action and change. People who feel happy are not people without trauma and heartache. These are those for whom negative events become a catalyst for profound change and transformation, leading to a phenomenon known as “post-traumatic growth.” When we talk about happiness in a global sense, and not about a momentary state of intense joy, then we are talking about learning to accept life with all its ups and downs, enjoying the positive moments and seeing the potential for one’s spiritual growth in failures,” said psychologist.

What prevents a person from being happy?

The main obstacle to happiness is the style and habits of thinking, the existing worldview and picture of the world. For some it is optimistic and cheerful, but for others it is a convinced pessimist, accustomed to experiencing only negativity. It will take serious conscious effort to reframe your thinking.

The habit of thinking negatively not only leads a person into the abyss of apathy, disappointment and resentment, but also destroys his psyche, and subsequently his body. When driving yourself into the darkness of despondency and negativity, remember that you yourself determine your future destiny, and there is no magic pill, person or place that can save you and make you happy.

Therefore, get used to being in a positive, constructive mood and looking for joy in the present. They are very short-lived. To have more happiness in life, fill it with deep close relationships, good people, pleasant moments, good deeds and creative activities that will bring not only moral satisfaction, but also decent pay.

To become happy you need to look inside yourself

Having agreed that happiness is within each of us, a person no longer needs to look for it outside. This state of affairs makes life much easier :

1. no one can take away your happiness, because it is within you;
2. only you decide whether you are happy or not, the world around you does not affect this in any way;
3. at any moment you can create within yourself any state that makes you happy;
4. you don’t have to go far, because the source is you.

How can happiness be discovered: what should I feel, feel and know in order to firmly say: “This is it”?

A happy person thinks something like this: “I am happy because:

1. Today I woke up and can see, hear, speak;
2. I accept myself with all my shortcomings and merits, because I have the right to be who I am;
3. I also have the right to any of my feelings and emotions - I am honest with myself and others;
4. I have the opportunity to take care of my body - the temple of the soul: I can feed it deliciously, dress it beautifully and take care of it;
5. I don’t have to be perfect: others may not like me, because they have the right to do so;
6. I am surrounded by good, decent people, because I can choose my environment.”

If you can try the above reasoning while feeling comfortable and calm, most likely you are a happy person . After all, then you don’t need to run for the tenth fur coat or a new brand of car to prove your importance to the world - you value and accept the real you.

Biochemistry of happiness in life

Scientific research has opened the eyes of humanity to the fact that happiness is not only an elusive state of mind, but a completely material, concrete and observable phenomenon. Thus, peak emotions (joy, happiness, satisfaction) are accompanied by the release of special hormones into the blood. These hormones - dopamine, serotonin and endorphins - have different mechanisms of action. For example, endorphins, which are produced in the pituitary gland, put a person into a long-term euphoria.

The brain neurotransmitter serotonin, produced by the pineal gland, gives long-term satisfaction and contentment. Dopamine, produced directly in the brain, as well as in the kidneys and adrenal glands, generates intense joy and satisfaction with the result of efforts (and it doesn’t matter whether it was quality sex, a delicious dinner, or the completion of a difficult project at work).

The active functioning of the hormonal system not only provides a person with a feeling of happiness in life, but also strengthens his health and vitality, making him more efficient. On the contrary, such depressed states as powerlessness, indifference, apathy and fatigue, as well as depression, signal failures in the biochemical “machine”. They are caused by prolonged stress, constant stress, peculiarities of upbringing and diseases of an infectious or hormonal nature.

If you understand what factors influence the functioning of the endocrine system (which controls the production of hormones), then you can influence the level of happiness in your life.

Experts name the following factors that provoke the regular production of endorphins.

1. Nutrition Happiness hormones will be produced in greater quantities if your diet contains a lot of hard cheeses, ice cream, rice, bell peppers, nuts, bananas and, of course, chocolate.
2. Mindset Learn to think positively and find joy in little things, try to stay optimistic. Then the load on the hormonal system will decrease, and it will function better. Meditate, pray, say affirmations - choose the method that suits you best.
3. Sports A surge of endorphins usually occurs after half an hour of intense running or fast walking or swimming. Physical activity and movement are not only life, but also happiness in life! Play sports and see how your emotional background improves.
4. Sex Endorphins are released only when orgasm occurs.
5. New experiences This could be travel, hiking, interesting walks, cultural events (concerts, performances, visiting museums), and even reading or watching a movie - in general, any sources of vivid impressions.
6. Acupuncture No, we are not talking about acupuncture sessions! You can just sometimes lie on the Lyapko or Kuznetsov applicator for twenty minutes, and you will feel a lift in mood due to the release of endorphins - morphine-like substances.
7. Sunbathing Ultraviolet rays from the sun promote the synthesis of joy hormones. Just the memory of the sun, the beach, the summer heat already improves your mood.
8. Music and dancing Listening to melodies, singing, and dancing help normalize the emotional state and feel happiness.

So what does a person’s happiness depend on?

First you need to increase your happiness level artificially. This article includes more ways to become happier. These methods are not as spiritual and moral, but they can improve your mood if your intellectual and spiritual level is still low.

1. Physical Development When you exercise, your body produces hormones that lead to happiness. This is a completely mechanical way of getting this feeling. You don't have to think or create a certain emotional tension. You only need to physically work from a few minutes to a couple of hours.
2. Romantic experiences I want to immediately explain that romantic experiences are not love. The concept of love is much broader and deeper. If you are not in a permanent relationship, then you can find someone with whom you will experience these feelings. This will give you motivation and joy, even if your life overall is terrible.
3. Self-development When you develop and gain various useful skills, you feel like a more important and useful person. For example, I have recently organized several interesting projects that bring me joy.
4. Change When you live in one environment on one schedule, you can lose your soul and act like a robot. But if you are a person who is forced to live this way, the answer to the question “What does a person’s happiness depend on?” will not give you happiness. Do you work 8 hours a day and then try not to die from fatigue? Change your job, find a source of passive income. Make sure you have time for self-care and the opportunity for change.
5. Connection with society Man is a social being. He needs to communicate with other people, otherwise he may feel inferior. When I get sick and have to stay at home for several days, I get terribly depressed because I don't communicate with people in real life.

All the things that I described above make a person only partly happy. They are temporary. This is not a state of consciousness, but short-term feelings.

There are three problems with them. Firstly, they are, as I said, temporary. Secondly, they are unstable. Thirdly, you get used to them. You can't be a happy person most of your life if you focus only on them.