Communication is one of the greatest human capabilities. By and large, one of the main goals of a person’s life is to learn to communicate harmoniously . Otherwise, why and for what purposes should one incarnate in an environment oversaturated with people? Is it because the human environment is most conducive to the implementation of these tasks.
We are made human from infancy. Communication is in our blood. But how much do we know how to use and enjoy this gorgeous tool? And what is our culture of communication?
And here we will talk thoroughly. What do successful communication skills consist of and how to actually learn to communicate with people.
For a full analysis of the psychology of communication, I recommend:
Mini training - how to learn to communicate correctly. Pride. We remove obstacles on the path to mutual understanding. Loneliness. Replace isolation from the world with the joy of communication. 17 reasons for conflicts in communication. Analysis, management and conversation management. Love. What is true love.
What do we build the Foundation for communicating with people from?
As children, we are like sponges, absorbing everything we can, because it contributes to survival. And then we unconsciously use it in building a flourishing life, but on what foundation.
Having spent many years researching and practicing different approaches in the field of communication, I have identified basic principles that, in the form of rules and skills, help to communicate with people more simply, easily and more productively.
There are people with an “innate” ability to establish contacts; at first glance, they do not need the psychology of communication. Although, regardless of innate and developed abilities, knowledge of the essence of the psychology of communication helps people better understand their behavior, reconsider the foundations on which it was formed, and learn to receive more joy, information and benefits from both friendly and business communication.
Communication is the exchange of energy and information in the format/framework of relationships . And since we are people, the atmosphere of communication immediately acquires many of our attributes and needs - hierarchy, power, dependence, claims, expectations, help, etc.
Well, let's put everything on the shelves
The fundamental principles of the psychology of communicating with people are a framework, a harmonious structure that gives a visual map of what is happening and what to fix in order to communicate correctly with people. These are natural mechanisms that shape our communication, and not speech techniques of persuasion, argument or manipulation. Such a comprehensive approach to the psychology of communication helps you independently understand how to communicate and speak correctly with any people, taking into account the basics of communication and the uniqueness of each person.
Each principle should be applied first to yourself (!), and then to your interlocutor.
Independence /self-sufficiency shows how self-valued, emotionally and energetically independent and integral you are. Can you not “catch on”, not “fail”, not be tied to your interlocutor.
Conflict . In any interaction between mature people, their desires are present, and as long as the communication is in the zone of common interests, everything goes smoothly. Why do you communicate, what do you want and don’t want? Are you expecting? What are your claims, conditions? What do you do in a conflict situation - how do you conflict?
Comfort . How comfortable and good do you feel? What can you do to make it more comfortable? How long are you willing to endure discomfort? What prevents you from relaxing?
Expression of emotions and feelings . Stiffness, shyness, timidity, and uncertainty extinguish your emotions and, as a result, communication is deprived of richness, fluidity, naturalness and pleasure. The chapter “How to Control Your Emotions” provides recommendations for dealing with these issues.
Respect, care, love . A careful and caring attitude towards your own resources - integrity, body, energy, business, money and as a person in general.
Interest, curiosity . By showing sincere interest in your interlocutor, you give him the opportunity to tell and talk to you. First of all, look for and focus on the good in people.
Sincerity, openness . It makes sense to say what is, but be careful, because the truth can cause harm. With openness, there are nuances in business relationships, but close relationships without attunement, openness and soul-to-soul contact wither and lose all meaning.
Adoption . The life of every person is a vessel of his individuality. The human environment makes it possible for different worlds, embodied in the body, to interact in a single space. Acceptance, or rather the perception of another person without involving, following or resisting his positions, aspirations, limitations. The higher the level of independence, the easier it is to accept another person as he is, while remaining completely himself.
Complementarity . It is very productive for development to communicate with people with different strengths from yours.
Compatibility . Sometimes normal people have strong conflicts, not because of irreconcilable ideological fanaticism (apple-pc, iphone-android, bmw-mercedes, Christianity-Buddhism, meat-eaters-vegans, punctual-slobs), but because of the structural incompatibility of energy and characters.
Silence . Learn to maintain your own space of peace and non-involvement in conversation. To be centered and be “here and now”, and not just in emotions, images and words. Working with emotions and practicing meditation helps a lot.
Dynamics, distance . Any communication has a pattern of relationships, with the exception of “fellow travelers on the train”). This determines the communication distance and the “rules of the game.” This is a big topic discussed in “The Psychology of Relationships.”
Implementation, problem solving . Communication is not just a pleasant conversation, it is also a help to the cause. How much communication situations contribute to solving specific life problems - connections, ideas, knowledge, understanding, energy. The features of life tasks will determine the specifics of communication - a person with teaching tasks will implicitly teach something, a person with power tasks will also implicitly command, agitate or hold positions at any cost, a person with sex tasks will bring pleasure, etc.
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Communication is one of the greatest human capabilities. By and large, one of the main goals of a person’s life is to learn to communicate harmoniously. Otherwise, why and for what purposes should one incarnate in an environment oversaturated with people? Is it because the human environment is most conducive to the implementation of these tasks. We are made human from infancy. Communication is in our blood. But how much do we know how to use and enjoy this gorgeous tool? And what is our culture of communication? More details about building relationships and communication skills: 1. Psychology of relationships: principles of building happy relationships 2. Non-verbal communication: how we are perceived 3. How to control your emotions: 3 effective approaches to managing emotions 4. Energy vampirism: about some energetic aspects of communication. What do we actually build the Foundation for communicating with people from? As children, we are like sponges, absorbing everything we can, because it contributes to survival. And then we unconsciously use it in building a flourishing life, but on what foundation. Having spent many years researching and practicing different approaches in the field of communication, I have identified basic principles that, in the form of rules and skills, help to communicate with people more simply, easily and more productively.
There are people with an “innate” ability to establish contacts; at first glance, they do not need the psychology of communication. Although, regardless of innate and developed abilities, knowledge of the essence of the psychology of communication helps people better understand their behavior, reconsider the foundations on which it was formed, and learn to receive more joy, information and benefits from both friendly and business communication. Communication is the exchange of energy and information in the format/framework of relationships. And since we are people, the atmosphere of communication immediately acquires many of our attributes and needs - hierarchy, power, dependence, claims, expectations, help, etc. Well, let's put everything on the shelves. The fundamental principles of the psychology of communicating with people are a framework, a harmonious structure that gives a visual map of what is happening and what to fix in order to communicate correctly with people. These are natural mechanisms that shape our communication, and not speech techniques of persuasion, argument or manipulation. Such a comprehensive approach to the psychology of communication helps you independently understand how to communicate and speak correctly with any people, taking into account the basics of communication and the uniqueness of each person.
- Independence/self-sufficiency.
- Conflict
- Comfort
- Expression of emotions, feelings
- Respect, care, love.
- Interest.
- Sincerity, openness.
- Adoption.
- Complementarity.
- Compatibility.
- Silence.
- Dynamics, distance.
- Implementation, current tasks.
Each principle should be applied first to yourself (!), and then to your interlocutor. Independence /self-sufficiency shows how self-valued, emotionally and energetically independent and holistic you are. Can you not “catch on”, not “fail”, not be tied to your interlocutor? Conflict. In any interaction between mature people, their desires are present, and as long as the communication is in the zone of common interests, everything goes smoothly. Why are you communicating, what do you want and don’t want? Are you expecting? What are your claims, conditions? What do you do in a conflict situation - how do you conflict? Comfort. How comfortable and good do you feel? What can you do to make it more comfortable? How long are you willing to endure discomfort? What prevents you from relaxing? Expression of emotions and feelings . Stiffness, shyness, timidity, and uncertainty extinguish your emotions and, as a result, communication is deprived of richness, fluidity, naturalness and pleasure. The chapter “How to Control Your Emotions” provides recommendations for dealing with these issues. Respect, care, love . A careful and caring attitude towards your own resources - integrity, body, energy, business, money and as a person in general. Interest, curiosity . By showing sincere interest in your interlocutor, you give him the opportunity to tell and talk to you. First of all, look for and focus on the good in people. Sincerity, openness. It makes sense to say what is, but be careful, because the truth can cause harm. With openness, there are nuances in business relationships, but close relationships without attunement, openness and soul-to-soul contact wither and lose all meaning. Adoption. The life of every person is a vessel of his individuality. The human environment makes it possible for different worlds, embodied in the body, to interact in a single space. Acceptance, or rather the perception of another person without involving, following or resisting his positions, aspirations, limitations. The higher the level of independence, the easier it is to accept another person as he is, while remaining completely himself. Complementarity . It is very productive for development to communicate with people with different strengths from yours. Compatibility. Sometimes normal people have strong conflicts, not because of irreconcilable ideological fanaticism (apple-pc, iphone-android, bmw-mercedes, Christianity-Buddhism, meat-eaters-vegans, punctual-slobs), but because of the structural incompatibility of energy and characters. Silence. Learn to maintain your own space of peace and non-involvement in conversation. To be centered and be “here and now”, and not just in emotions, images and words. Working with emotions and practicing meditation helps a lot. Dynamics, distance. Any communication has a pattern of relationships, with the exception of “fellow travelers on the train”). This determines the communication distance and the “rules of the game.” This is a big topic discussed in “The Psychology of Relationships.” Implementation, problem solving . Communication is not just a pleasant conversation, it is also a help to the cause. How much communication situations contribute to solving specific life problems - connections, ideas, knowledge, understanding, energy. The features of life tasks will determine the specifics of communication - a person with teaching tasks will implicitly teach something, a person with power tasks will also implicitly command, agitate or hold positions at any cost, a person with sex tasks will bring pleasure, etc. That's all with theory, and now simple examples from personal life. First, study yourself through the prism of the 13 principles of the psychology of communication, and then apply them to your interlocutor - to what extent your communication takes into account and contributes to his interests, development, and integrity. Neither of you becomes a vest, an energy donor, a servant, bends over, tries only to be good, etc. To begin with, this should be realized. In modern psychology and in communication training, there are many speech and energy techniques for establishing communication. In many ways, these methods do not deal with the causes of communication problems, do not take into account the basic principles of communication, and essentially try to pour cologne on dirty clothes. Leveling communication situationally due to artificial add-ons and without taking into account the consequences for the person as a whole. Instead of approaching the issue a little more broadly and taking into account the whole person. And since communication is an expression, growth from oneself and the study of the reality of another person, the fruits and quality of communication are pleasant when the interlocutors are, first of all, conscious, harmonious and holistic people. And various rules or methods of communication psychology can only point out disharmonious character traits, crooked behavior patterns, and help grow new ones to make communication more natural, rich and lively. How to communicate with people correctly - express analysis of typical mistakes and problems in communication It is not always possible to establish or continue communication in the right direction. Sometimes a person “slips”, or there is a “blank wall” between you, or you simply do not fit in due to the difference in rhythms/interests. Small “tricks” or “techniques” of communication will certainly stimulate the flow of the conversation and you will float somewhere on this emotional wave. But how natural, natural and close to you is this? Unfortunately, many people, out of fear of loneliness, suppress and ignore themselves in every possible way, just to be interesting to the interlocutor or necessarily to impose their will, desires, thoughts. Over time, this is forgotten and a person no longer has the habit of being sincere, loving himself and seeing others without a veil of influence. And these principles become like a tub of cold water, they sober up and encourage you to think. Let's once again go over the fundamental problems of communication: Independence - one of the participants in the conversation “hangs himself”, “falls” into the interlocutor. Giving your energy and initiative. The problem of the “strong” is that it is beyond the bounds of feeding on the weak and giving; such a conversation is not interesting. Conflict - one of the interlocutors constantly gets into trouble, and they indulge him in this. Also, one of the participants may unconsciously live out the scenario of the old conflict, and all the claims and grievances will be showered on the other. Comfort - the inability to speak from one’s comfort creates a certain distance and detachment of the interlocutors. In a conversation, the more comfortable and relaxed participant becomes the fulcrum and “leader”. Expression of emotions and feelings - tightness and constraint prevents you from saying what you want. Therefore, unnatural roles and masks are used to express oneself. Also, suppressed feelings make it difficult to hear the other person. People communicate by colliding with shells and an open conversation does not happen. Respect, care, love - ignoring another person calls into question the appropriateness of communication. Excessive expression of concern also alarms and relaxes a person to the level of rudeness and consumerism. If you accept another as he is, that is, anyone, then why shouldn’t he behave only in his own interests? Interest - lack of interest in another person indicates either your fatigue or the need to stop communicating for now. Without interest there is no point in communication. Sincerity, openness - being closed, it is difficult for us to relax and fully engage in communication. Sincerity helps to improve the conversation with a lively dose of interest. Resentment, anger, anger, on the contrary, block the oxygen of communication. Acceptance - another person is always different from us in some way. How do we feel about this difference? Can we perceive this difference? Complementarity - how another person's difference can strengthen you. You are ready to entrust another person with some function in your life or learn to do the same with your interlocutor. Compatibility - there are people who are not compatible with you, deeply. Are you ready to accept this and just move on? Do you have a desire to look for “your” people? Silence - what prevents you from having a pleasant silence, why do you always “have to” say something? You are not on the radio, live. Pauses are filled at the cost of one’s own comfort, sincerity, and self-sufficiency. Implementation, current tasks - lack of understanding of your communication goals creates dissatisfaction and does not allow you to select adequate communication tools and your position. Feel that you want attention and just talk, assert yourself and argue, get to know the person better, etc. Practice: exercises to develop communication skills Practice consists of preliminary analysis, comprehension, development of one principle, and then conscious communication from the position of this principle. And then, step by step, you will work through all the basic principles of communication, developing and honing your style of natural and effective communication with people. Start with the principles of independence, expression of emotions and feelings, goals and objectives. So, gradually, principle by principle, you will work out all the basic facets of communication. Good luck! www.daology.ru
That's all with theory, now let's look at some simple examples from personal life.
First, study yourself through the prism of the 13 principles of communication psychology, and then apply them to your interlocutor - how much your communication takes into account and contributes to his interests, development, and integrity. Neither of you becomes a vest, an energy donor, a servant, bends over, tries only to be good, etc. To begin with, this should be realized.
In modern psychology and in communication training, there are many speech and energy techniques for establishing communication. In many ways, these methods do not work with the causes of communication problems , do not take into account the basic principles of communication, and essentially try to pour cologne on dirty clothes. Leveling communication situationally due to artificial add-ons and without taking into account the consequences for the person as a whole. Instead of approaching the issue a little more broadly and taking into account the whole person.
And since communication is an expression, growth from oneself and the study of the reality of another person , the fruits and quality of communication are pleasant when the interlocutors are, first of all, conscious, harmonious and holistic people. And various rules or methods of communication psychology can only point out disharmonious character traits, crooked behavior patterns, and help grow new ones to make communication more natural, rich and lively.
Business communication processes
The process of business communication is not only conversations and correspondence. This concept covers emotions, gestures, and manners. Research shows that more than 60-70% of communication is based on non-verbal communication. And only about 30-40% are verbal.
During the verbal process, the rules of speech communication apply. This also includes speech etiquette, the observance of which allows you to build business relationships on a more civilized level. There are rules for the nonverbal communication process. They relate to body language, facial expressions, and general human behavior. This is a separate major area that anyone can study on a large scale if they wish. This will be helped by etiquette trainings conducted by our company. Of the basic rules listed above, this includes control over emotions. Rude communication and excessive harshness are unacceptable. Emotionality should not be present when conducting the same negotiations.
How to communicate with people correctly - express analysis of typical mistakes and problems in communication
It is not always possible to establish or continue communication in the right direction. Sometimes a person “slips”, or there is a “blank wall” between you, or you simply do not fit in due to the difference in rhythms/interests. Small “tricks” or “techniques” of communication will certainly stimulate the flow of the conversation and you will float somewhere on this emotional wave. But how natural, natural and close to you is this?
Unfortunately, many people, out of fear of loneliness, suppress and ignore themselves in every possible way, just to be interesting to the interlocutor or necessarily to impose their will, desires, thoughts. Over time, this is forgotten and a person no longer has the habit of being sincere, loving himself and seeing others without a veil of influence. And these principles become like a tub of cold water, they sober up and encourage you to think.
communication issues again
Independence - one of the participants in the conversation “hangs himself”, “falls” into the interlocutor. Giving your energy and initiative. The problem of the “strong” is that it is beyond the bounds of feeding on the weak and giving; such a conversation is not interesting.
Conflict - one of the interlocutors constantly gets into trouble, and they indulge him in this. Also, one of the participants may unconsciously live out the scenario of the old conflict, and all the claims and grievances will be showered on the other.
Comfort - the inability to speak from one’s comfort creates a certain distance and detachment of the interlocutors. In a conversation, the more comfortable and relaxed participant becomes the fulcrum and “leader”.
Expression of emotions and feelings - tightness and constraint prevents you from saying what you want. Therefore, unnatural roles and masks are used to express oneself. Also, suppressed feelings make it difficult to hear the other person. People communicate by colliding with shells and an open conversation does not happen.
Respect, care, love - ignoring another person calls into question the appropriateness of communication. Excessive expression of concern also alarms and relaxes a person to the level of rudeness and consumerism. If you accept another as he is, that is, anyone, then why shouldn’t he behave only in his own interests?
Interest - lack of interest in another person indicates either your fatigue or the need to stop communicating for now. Without interest there is no point in communication.
Sincerity, openness - being closed, it is difficult for us to relax and fully engage in communication. Sincerity helps to improve the conversation with a lively dose of interest. Resentment, anger, anger, on the contrary, block the oxygen of communication.
Acceptance - another person is always different from us in some way. How do we feel about this difference? Can we perceive this difference?
Complementarity - how another person's difference can strengthen you. You are ready to entrust another person with some function in your life or learn to do the same with your interlocutor.
Compatibility - there are people who are not compatible with you, deeply. Are you ready to accept this and just move on? Do you have a desire to look for “your” people?
Silence - what prevents you from having a pleasant silence, why do you always “have to” say something? You are not on the radio, live. Pauses are filled at the cost of one’s own comfort, sincerity, and self-sufficiency.
Implementation, current tasks - lack of understanding of your communication goals creates dissatisfaction and does not allow you to select adequate communication tools and your position. Feel that you want attention and just talk, assert yourself and argue, get to know the person better, etc.
Ethics: concept
The word "ethics" comes from the Greek "ethikos", which concerns morality, expressing moral beliefs .
Communication ethics is a set, a set of norms and rules of communication in certain situations, the responsibilities of people towards each other in certain situations.
In other words, this is the doctrine of the correct manifestation of one's moral convictions in relation to other people.
Communication etiquette includes many forms of direct human behavior. This is a greeting, the correct address to older people, to colleagues in professional interactions, congratulations, etc.
Thanks to knowledge of communication ethics, a person can not only correctly express his beliefs, indicate his position to his partner so that this does not lead to a conflict situation, but will also be able to understand the other person faster and better.
Practice: exercises to develop communication skills
Practice consists of preliminary analysis, comprehension, development of one principle, and then conscious communication from the position of this principle . And then, step by step, you will work through all the basic principles of communication, developing and honing your style of natural and effective communication with people.
Start with the principles of independence, expression of emotions and feelings, goals and objectives.
So, gradually, principle by principle, you will work out all the basic facets of communication.
In general, analysis of the topic is good - but conversation is always better.
1. Ask yourself what you are not comfortable with, where the results are not what you want. 2. Mentally give yourself permission to live richer, happier, more productive. 3. I personally will help you a lot with coaching. Because I know how to help, I know how and love to help people live better.
Click >here and a communication window will pop up.
Basic Rules
- Punctuality is a manifestation of respect for partners. To maintain punctuality, business people use planning.
- Recency. You shouldn't say too much. This applies both to communication on the topic of solving a specific problem, and to the personal lives of employees, colleagues, and partners.
- Respect for colleagues and partners. In business communication there is no place for curiosity, selfishness, or intolerance. It is necessary to respect the opinion of your interlocutor, no matter how wrong it may seem to you.
- Using the correct language. Ability to conduct a conversation and create interest in the communication process.
- The ability to clearly formulate the purpose of a conversation, conversation, negotiation, etc.
- Maintaining self-control, control over feelings and emotions. Calm communication without rudeness, even if the interlocutor behaves in a manner inappropriate for a business person.
- It is necessary to adhere to business attire. The dress code affects the characteristics and outcome of business communication.
- No unnecessary gestures when meeting. Apart from a handshake, you should not touch your interlocutor in any other way.
