How to live on if you have no strength and don’t want anything? Determining how to live can be quite easy if you have desires and goals, but the same question is perplexing if you lack desires and motivation. Such a condition can be temporary and occur quite easily, or it can take on a chronic form called apathy - it is a medical term that reflects disorders in the mental sphere. There is no need to immediately diagnose yourself; for many people, apathetic moods are a periodically encountered norm, and these problems can be solved quite independently, without turning to doctors or medications.
It is important not to confuse the lack of desires and strength with simple laziness. This can be easily distinguished - laziness disappears as soon as a sufficient stimulus appears, followed by a surge of strength and activity, the person’s eyes light up. In a state where there really is no strength, not a single stimulus will make a person jump, and when the sphere of needs and desires is frustrated, there will simply be nowhere for the motivational component to arise.
In case of malfunction of any organs, the onset of a viral disease, or at the time of exacerbation of a chronic illness, the body’s reserve reserves are aimed at eliminating these problems, so there may simply not be enough energy for everything else. Lack of vitamins in winter and chronic lack of sleep undermine the body's strength. Moreover, it will not be possible to fight such problems by increasing motivation and working through willpower - the lack of sleep will need to be compensated by establishing a routine over a long period of time, and not just one night, and the lack of nutrients will need to be restored in consultation with doctors. Physical exhaustion from prolonged work requires rest for the body, otherwise more serious health problems will occur after a lack of strength and desire.
Often you don’t want anything and the presence of a feeling of powerlessness is due to emotional burnout, which is characteristic mainly of people in helping professions or workaholics, and is often reflected precisely in the professional sphere, without affecting the rest of life. In the case of emotional overload during communication, powerlessness in any form of contact can occur, and long-term monotonous work can completely kill aspirations and creativity. Depression and moments of crisis can plunge a person into a similar state with the same ease as physical disorders. Among the many reasons, it is necessary to single out the one that sucks all your strength and initially concentrate on eliminating it.
Reasons for loss of motivation
The desire to preserve life is inherent in us by nature. The instinct of self-preservation is one of the most powerful, present in most living beings, including humans. Loss of motivation is an unnatural condition that must be dealt with. If for some reason there is no motivation for life, a person should consult a psychiatrist, since this is one of the symptoms of depression. Lack of motivation to survive can be a symptom of other mental illnesses. In this case, the specialist will prescribe special medications and prescribe therapy.
Lack of interest in life: where does it come from?
Psychologists are often approached with the question of how to make life more interesting and find meaning in it. Let alone the difficulties of making changes for the better.
For some reason, in the modern world, being very busy at work is considered the norm, and it is advisable to periodically attend all kinds of professional courses and self-development trainings.
No, I'm not saying it's bad. But, if you live like a squirrel in a wheel and don’t even have time to get a decent night’s sleep between work, courses and attempts to arrange your personal life, then you definitely need to do something about it.
You probably have a question now: how does this relate to the lack of incentive to live?
The connection is actually direct. Look, if you sleep five hours a day and work hard, then sooner or later the body’s resources will come to an end.
Of course, at first everything will happen as planned. But at some point, it will become clear that your once-favorite training sessions only cause yawning, you quietly hate work, and your biggest dream is to get enough sleep on the weekend.
This is what lack of interest in life looks like. In fact, this condition occurs due to common chronic fatigue. And it is precisely at this point that the question arises, how can one again feel happy and interested in what is happening.
It is worth noting that interest in life can also disappear due to psychological trauma. For example, the loss of a loved one, physical or emotional abuse. In this case, you should not engage in “self-medication”.
The peculiarity of psychological trauma is that it can affect our existence for many years. Sometimes it happens that the circumstances have long been forgotten, and the consequences still do not allow us to breathe deeply. Therefore, in this case, you should immediately contact a psychologist.
And one more thing: it is impossible to trigger such states, since they end in depression and apathy. And this should be addressed not to a psychologist, but to a psychotherapist or even a psychiatrist. In general, it is better to react immediately!
Another option for losing motivation to do something is a creative crisis. It occurs most often in people whose activities should include a muse.
The lack of creativity in this case is very difficult to experience, so a little later I will tell you how to get it back.
Spiritual and physical practices
Another answer to the question of how to find motivation is a variety of spiritual practices. They help you think about life and find new meaning in it. Practices like yoga disperse apathy and laziness. It has been scientifically proven that the more activity a person does per day, the more strength and desire to live he has, so moderate physical activity can have a significant motivating effect. In the absence of movement, a person, on the contrary, often feels tired.
Meditations during which a person turns to himself can be useful. An excellent option would be special trips for several days with a group under the supervision of experienced trainers.
It will be useful to turn to positive thinking techniques. The ability to enjoy life has a positive effect on the nervous system. Optimists are less susceptible to depression.
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A professional psychologist can help you find motivators. By choosing the right words, a competent specialist is able to point in the right direction.
Cardio exercises have a good effect: running, swimming, rollerblading, skiing, cycling. The load should be selected individually. If there are no contraindications, you can add strength exercises.
If you lose the desire to live, it will be useful to go on a trip. A change of place often has a beneficial effect on an overloaded nervous system. The new environment encourages activity and exploration of the place.
Books on developing motivation
It is impossible to fully reveal such a broad and mysterious concept as motivation in one article. If you want to study this phenomenon more deeply and learn how to manage it, I advise you to read the following books.
- “Motivation and Personality” Abraham Maslow.
- “Psychology of motivation and emotions” Julia Gippenreiter.
- “The Science of Motivation” Brian Tracy.
- “Motivation is what it is. How Coca-Cola, Ernst&Young, MARS, METRO Cash&Carry inspire employees” Tatyana Kozhevnikova.
- “Manifesto of Motivations. Nine Declarations” Brendon Burchard.
- “Motivation is everything” John Maxwell.
- “Punishment with reward” Con Alfi.
Emotional and mental peace
Families, where quarrels and scandals often occur, highly value the opportunity to be in silence for at least a short time. If the intention is the desire to find peace of mind, then it is commendable. True, it is no secret that you will have to work hard and hard before it becomes possible to achieve this goal. Emotional balance implies a person’s ability not to react to the provocations of others. If his own feelings are hurt, he learns to be tolerant and adventurous.
Self-sufficiency and integrity of the individual are achieved only through long and fruitful work on oneself. Anyone who hopes for a quick result very soon finds himself deceived.
Where to find a new incentive, a new dream, new motivation for your own life
Dreams.
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Learn to follow an important rule - turn your dreams into goals, the fulfillment of which is given a certain period of time. Surely, as a child, you dreamed of many things, planning that you would realize all this “as soon as you grow up.” How many of these dreams have come true? It looks like you have reached a time when your life simply needs changes! Remember where you dreamed of going, what purchase you planned, and so on. Now all these are your plans for the near future. Write a wish list and start making it a reality.
Motivation.
How to motivate yourself to make any changes or implement plans. Clearly imagine what your life will be like when you do what you want, but what you don’t have the strength or determination to do. Think in detail about how much you need it and what it can give you. Still can't motivate yourself? Perhaps, in fact, you no longer need what you once dreamed of and that is why your motivation is so weak? Review your list of dreams and determine what you really want from life in the future.
Leave fear behind.
The fear of condemnation, pain, criticism and the like will separate us from many accomplishments and changes. Your fears are what are stopping you from living a good life. If you want to achieve truly high goals, you will have to understand that failure in this case is a natural phenomenon.
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If you are afraid of something on the way to what you want, then analyze the situation well. Accept that your fears may not be unfounded, and you will indeed have to go through some unpleasant moments, but they are the ones that separate you from what you really need! And when you receive this, then all the inconvenient or difficult situations accompanying this achievement will become small and insignificant for you. Give your dream a chance to come true!
How to live if there is no incentive?
WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THE DIAGNOSIS - HOW TO LIVE IF THERE IS NO STIMULUS? Those who have died morally, are mentally exhausted, there may be two reasons, subjective and objective. 1) Subjective - the mental strength has run out. This is a completely natural effect if, for example, you put your soul into your work; there are many such positions. A good level of responsibility also implies this. That is, you approach your personal and work affairs responsibly, you worry about them, in this case, of course, some kind of internal wear and tear occurs. But if the job is done well, it brings pleasure and some replenishment. However, there are also enough work tasks that require a lot of time, months, years, to complete. Then it turns out that you invest fully and regularly, but at the end you don’t get anything in return. This is, of course, a thankless job in a good way, but the goal is apparently big, and the result will be thorough. In this case, as I already said, you can replenish your mental strength in nature. In addition, you can take a creative basis for further work from nature; some ideas will come to your mind precisely from observation, and not from another brainstorming session. 2) Objective loss of incentive - when any undertaking is not even worth applying to. I know that I’m ready to work, and I’m confident in my abilities, but it feels like I don’t need it. Here we have a lack of incentive, because there is nowhere to apply it. I think you are able to look into yourself and figure out what the diagnosis is in your case. The problem of the lack of a stimulus application point is a more fundamental issue. The answer to it will have an impact on the rest of your life. It doesn’t just mean what you will do over the next years, it already means that you will become a different person. After all, if you start doing something differently and do it all the time, then you have become different. Think about it.
WHAT TO DO IF THERE IS NO STIMULUS IN LIFE BECAUSE THERE IS NO WHERE TO APPLY IT?
There are two options.
1) Find the global point of application of the stimulus. 2) Abandon the “stimulus gives life” model, start using the “I and the stimulus are one whole” model. If the first option can be compared to refilling a car with gasoline until the tank is full, then the second option is a car that drives without gasoline and without an engine. She runs on internal energy. That is, movement for such a machine is its internal property, its essence. Like the property of the sun to glow. Like the property of a ball to roll. You too can become such a person. Tempting, isn't it? Yeah cool. It just seems that after reading this article I will forever become cheerful, cheerful and I will never need any external stimulus for my life.
HOW TO BECOME A STIMULUS FOR YOUR OWN LIFE? DEFINITION.
Is it even possible? Perhaps and how! Do you think that all the best things created on Earth were done on orders from above? I will assume that the most perfect thing that was done by man on Earth was done for personal reasons, simply because that’s what the man himself wanted. To put it even more precisely, this was done by this person because that’s how he is made. It would be fair to say about any work, about any business, that it bears part of the personality of the performer himself. Hue. A person can be hardworking, or he can be lazy. The product of one will be of high quality, while the other will have only formal packaging. There is also something else. Different people's products will have different characters. Today you can already hear: a car has a character, a telephone has a character, and something like that. Some are closer to the Germans, some are closer to the Japanese, and some are Russian. So or not? So, by acquiring an internal source of energy and stimulus, you also acquire your individual part of your personality, you complete your character. The results of your activities, and indeed your life in general, will have not just a quality, it will become better or worse, your life will acquire a certain color characteristic of your personality. This may not be determined right away, but over time you will see the difference in how you worked before and how you work now, with the same degree of activity in this work. It’s hard to describe, it’s a very subtle moment. In everyday life in a standard office, in a standard apartment, at the 1st, 2nd, 153rd plant named after. Lenin, in a chain restaurant or store you can hardly notice him. But it is there. Decide for yourself what you want to do: fill the tank full or change yourself. Let's continue for the second option.
I HAVE NO STIMULUS TO LIVE, BUT I WANT TO FIND IT. WHAT TO DO?
Essentially, finding this stimulus within yourself means getting to know yourself. You want to live, you want to feel normal both in health and morale. Do you want it or not? Well, it’s probably hard not to want to live. Either you want to live or you want to die. Borderline state - I don’t care at all)))) 1) Give yourself permission to change. At first glance, a certain selfish practicality of such a decision strikes the eye. In some ways it feels as if you can’t do this, it’s not allowed. This is a soul, can I just take today, sit with it tomorrow and become forever a different person with a life one step better than it was yesterday?.. It’s kind of scary... But I believe that everyone has the full 100% right to do with your soul whatever you want and no matter how Life itself (or your Conscience) reacts to it. I mean this literally. Many people, very many, are convinced that for a normal life one must constantly, a lot and persistently work tirelessly. And if you don’t have an incentive to live, it means that you don’t deserve it before Life. At best, Life only allows you to refuel for a couple of years with motivation, an incentive to live and nothing more. But don't you have the right to make your life much better? Of course you have the right! There's no need to even argue here. If you can make your life better, then you have the right to change yourself as you want. 2) Mentally prepare to become a little different (or different). I understand that this is somehow unusual. It’s one thing to rearrange furniture in an apartment, but here we’re talking about the inner world that needs to be rebuilt. This is not a stack of bricks, I took it and rearranged it. Yes, not a stack of bricks, but don't say people can't change with time. There is probably a specific example in your memory from life. Since a person has changed, then you can too. I’ll tell you how to do this now. Well, we focus on the fact that you want to find incentive within yourself.
WHAT IS INTERNAL STIMULUS?
So what should you do? Can I really live without external stimulus? Internal stimulus is a property of your character. This is a property of your personality. For example, you are joyful not because everything in your life is good, but because you are such a person. Well, not necessarily just eternally joyful, well, maybe at least eternally cheerful. 1) The weak link in the external stimulus of life. Are you always cheerful? Well, ummm, it depends on the mood, the weather, work and a bunch of other things. That is, to make you sad, all I have to do is fire you from work, ruin your mood and make the weather bad? And what do I have to do with this, doesn’t this happen in life? Have you ever been unemployed? Personally, I don’t like this scheme that my mood should depend on a bunch of factors independent of me. That is, my mood can chatter through life like a rag. And I will always be cheerful only because I want it so. It is always nice to have a certain degree of independence and freedom. Well, get it! Do you want an incentive to live? What is life for you? Life activity. That is, you want to have an incentive to live from within; you can simplify it and say to activity. I want to have an incentive inside me to act. What do you want to do? Don’t think, this is a question not for the head, but for the heart. The fact that everyone would not mind becoming rich is understandable. I am not answering the question here about what you want to do to become rich. What do you want to do? Who do you want to be? I want to be a sixth-class fitter. A good desire, the main thing is that it comes from the heart. This person will be the best you know in the business. And you? Who to be? Take a look at your place, it’s been there for a long time, since childhood, you’ve always wanted it, but were afraid to say it. It’s hard to say even to yourself, let alone friends and acquaintances. But, at least now, if you tell yourself this, no one will judge you or laugh at you. Even if you say it, this does not oblige you to immediately take action and begin to zealously bring it to life. So dig in. You cannot be a person who doesn’t like anything at all, who has no soul for anything at all. 2) Universal internal stimulus of life. Who do you want to be? Do you want to be a man? Or maybe you want to become a woman? I'm not talking about the body, I'm talking about the state of mind. Well, I'm already a man. Nooo, there is a difference between having a primary sexual characteristic and being a real man. If everything were so simple, there would not be so many unhappy wives. And vice versa, this can also be said about women. Well, are you a real man? Are you a perfect woman? Are you proud of yourself? Wow, what perfection if they are looking for an incentive to live here. What pride if I can’t bring myself to get out of bed at least at three o’clock in the afternoon. So first, try to come to a decision to become the brightest representative of your gender. There is definitely nothing bad in this, and you will get a huge amount of advantages. And this is a universal answer for everyone. Become a more beautiful woman than you were yesterday, become a more courageous guy than you were today. Super! I already want it myself! Forward!
Living life is not a field to cross. The proverb is old, but it fully reflects the state of modern man looking back. Without the past there is no future. And the whole past is already in your head. Just work with it like a craftsman would with a piece of clay. Pay special attention to those moments that had a key impact on the further course of events throughout your life. Remember the incidents that changed you. Perhaps there were people who changed you. Here is a map of how to live if there is no incentive, but you will have to follow this map yourself. After all, even if this were the best article in the world, you still bear responsibility for your life, be it with or without incentive. I wish you to learn to enjoy such responsibility!
How to help a person who doesn't want to live
If you asked this question, then we are probably talking about a person who is of special importance to you. Many people who have fallen into such a difficult psychological state find it very difficult to get out of it on their own.
If you notice that someone close to you is depressed, you can help:
- People suffering from this disease most often have little communication with others. It is often during this period that they lose many friends who failed to understand that their refusal to meet is not at all an indifferent attitude towards friendship, but a difficult moral state. Having noticed such a person showing signs of depression, do not pay attention to his desire to withdraw into himself and do not take his detachment personally. Find time to regularly check in with him about his affairs, find out about his mood, tell him about yourself and encourage him. Even if others turn away from him, he will not feel the burden of loneliness, because he will know that he has someone who is always ready to listen and talk to him!
- Offer a trip to an interesting place. You need to be sure that the route you choose will please this person. If he used to love visiting museums and exhibitions, go to a place like this. To make it simply inconvenient for him (or her) to refuse you, say that the tickets have already been purchased, and you have no one else to go with, and you don’t want any other company.
- Let him/her know that your friendship or family ties are very important to you. Ask for advice, show interest in his (her) affairs. A depressed person often states that no one needs him - show that this is not true at all!
- If you see that the situation is quite serious, convince the person suffering from depressive moods to visit a psychologist. Ask him to consult a specialist at least once. Tell him that millions of people turn to professionals for help every day, and this only benefits them.
- When communicating, emphasize that you are convinced of the temporary nature of this phenomenon. From time to time, your friend may experience “enlightenment” in his state - tell him about it. Pay attention to situations that improve his mood and try to make them repeat.
- Do not communicate with such a person as if he were sick and do not demonstrate “fake gaiety.” A depressed woman or man understands everything, but remains in apathy. Remain in your natural state, but show the person who demonstrates in every possible way that he is tired of life how important his healing is to you.
How to overcome your laziness and develop motivation?
All people are lazy! But it’s one thing when we just rested a little, so we continue to do the work. And it’s a completely different case when we can’t get out of this state for a long time.
First, let's figure out what laziness is for you? If instead of working you watch movies and TV series, then this is not laziness. This is a reluctance to deal with current affairs.
The way to deal with this is simple: start doing nothing. As soon as you realize that you need to work, and you are watching another series, we immediately get up, turn off the series and sit on a stool in the middle of the room. And we do nothing. We just sit and look at one point.
Believe me, after about five minutes you will want to do at least something just to get up and leave this stool. And at this moment it is necessary to direct energy to do the work. After all, you can watch something interesting later when you get tired.
Respect for colleagues
Any person wants not only to succeed in a certain field of activity, to obtain a specific specialty and become indispensable. It is imperative for him to feel that he is valued in the workplace as a person and a high-quality professional. This incentive is too serious to be ignored. Today, being successful is synonymous with having respect and recognition from society. Nobody needs weak individuals who waste their lives sitting in bars and casinos. Now it is fashionable to be successful, to strive for prosperity and full disclosure of one’s talents and abilities.
How can you get recognition from the people you meet every day at work? That's right: demonstrate the seriousness of your intentions, make significant efforts towards a given goal. Very few people actually show determination and activity. Much more often there are situations when people refuse serious actions and do not want to make even small attempts. Need I say that this approach is futile from the very beginning? A loser is always looking for excuses and hides behind them. A strong person really moves forward and develops.
Complex external stimuli
Fromm called these stimuli “inspiring” or “activating”.
These are also incentives that act on us from the outside, but they stimulate certain internal work. If a book, movie, painting or any thing pushes us to think and act, this is a complex external stimulus. Further actions may not be directly related to the stimulus. For example, after watching a film about the Terminator, one teenager will limit himself to buying a poster with Schwarzenegger, while another will be inspired and go to the “rocking room”. And after a few years, he will not only transform his body, but also enter the Institute of Physical Education, develop his own training program, and become a sought-after fitness trainer. Thanks to a complex external stimulus, he will find a passion and make a lot of effort to make it his life's work.
Complex inspirational stimuli differ from simple ones in that they never become boring because they provoke a creative response. A person himself spiritualizes his stimulus, sees it every time in a new light, discovers more and more new facets in it. There is no place for mechanical one-sided influence of the “stimulus → response” type. The more complex the stimulus, the longer it retains its attractiveness and the less often it needs to change.
This difference can be observed in the behavior of children. Fromm writes: “Until a certain age (about five years old), children are so active and productive that they constantly find incentives for themselves, create them themselves. They can create a whole world from scraps of paper, pieces of wood, small stones, chairs and any other objects. But already at the age of six, when they fall under the millstone of the educational mill, they begin to adapt, lose their spontaneity, become passive and need such stimulation that allows them to react passively. A child, for example, wants to have some kind of complex toy, he gets it, but very soon he gets tired of it. In short, he does with toys the same way adults do with cars, clothes and sexual partners.”
Complex stimuli never cause a feeling of satiety; there are never “too many” of them. Physical fatigue may occur, but not apathy. Having achieved one goal, we immediately set ourselves the next one.
