How to Boost Self-Esteem and Confidence

Self-esteem affects many areas of a person's life. If it drops, then our motivation decreases, the amount of energy decreases, the desire to do something, to realize goals decreases. Take care of your career and household chores. Relationships with children, parents, and spouses deteriorate. You want to prove that you are no worse by criticizing others, and for some people you want to start a scandal. This is some kind of temporary compensation.

We perform much worse at work, our thinking abilities deteriorate. We begin to make mountains out of molehills (that is, we create a huge one out of a small problem), we lose faith in the future and optimism. Therefore, unstable self-esteem is often worse than low self-esteem. A person gets used to low levels, but he cannot ignore hormonal surges. Therefore, psychological practices to increase and stabilize self-esteem can help improve many areas of life.

There are quite a lot of exercises to increase self-esteem. And they are all different. Some will suit one, others others. Some will see results faster in some, others in others. But the main thing is to choose those that help you. Affirmations can also help, but for some they help very quickly, while for others you need to constantly convince yourself that you are good, happy, loved. The listed practices work much deeper, but psychologically it is more difficult to do them. They require the most honest attitude towards oneself. Honest admission of your problems, recognition of your shortcomings, honest understanding and recognition of the problems, where they came from and the desire to correct them.

The most honest attitude towards yourself and the absence of fear of recognizing your shortcomings, the desire to make yourself more effective is the beginning of self-development.

But! Practices require consistency. Done once, it will not give a good permanent effect. Just reading it but not doing it will not bring any effect at all. Their effect is cumulative. And many of the problems that these practices solve have been stored in the subconscious for a very long time. And they simply cannot decide in 1-2 days. And they are constantly reinforced by your thoughts about the object. Since we see what we are ready to see, what we are waiting to see, we see confirmation of our attitudes and our point of view. Whatever we were thinking about.

Download PDF: How to control your hormone levels to worry less, become more confident, start achieving goals faster, and learn to control your internal state.

What is self-esteem: definition and its impact on our lives

To achieve success in any area of one's activity, a person must be self-confident and be able to convince others that he is right.

People with low self-esteem cannot be happy by definition: their entire existence consists of doubts, disappointments and soul-searching. Meanwhile, a bright, eventful life passes by, going to those who do not doubt that they are right and confidently walk towards their goal.

A person with low self-esteem considers himself unworthy of happiness, and therefore subconsciously inferior to others in everything. To change the situation in your favor, you need to change yourself - there is no other way.

In this article I will tell you why a person’s self-esteem is so important, what reasons influence its decline, and how to increase self-esteem for a man, woman (girl), and teenager using the most effective methods.

Self-esteem is an individual’s idea of the importance of his personality in relation to other people and an assessment of his own qualities - strengths and weaknesses.

Self-esteem is extremely important for the full functioning of the individual in society and the achievement of various life goals - success, self-realization, family happiness, spiritual and material well-being.

Self-Esteem Functions

The functions of self-assessment are as follows:

Protective – ensures stability and relative independence of the individual from the opinions of others;
Regulatory – enables a person to solve problems of personal choice;
Developmental – provides an impetus to personal development.

The assessment of our personality by others - in particular, parents, peers, and friends - plays a decisive role in the early formation of self-esteem. Ideally, self-esteem should be based only on the individual’s own opinion of himself, but in reality it is influenced by many different factors.

Self-esteem is a person’s attitude towards himself: towards his capabilities, physical and spiritual qualities. An adequate assessment of one’s own capabilities helps to avoid mistakes and at the same time is an incentive for further development.

Psychologists believe that ideal self-esteem is the most accurate assessment of a person’s abilities.

Low self-esteem makes a person doubt, think and make wrong decisions, while too high one leads to making a large number of mistakes.

In most cases, we are dealing with a person underestimating his capabilities, which is why a person is not able to fully realize his potential and does not understand how to increase self-esteem.

Well-known coach in the field of success psychology, Brian Tracy, believes that low self-esteem is the main reason for a person’s financial insolvency. After all, if you feel bad about yourself, you don’t have confidence in your abilities, then you are doomed to be poor, and you won’t even have to dream of having your own business.

On the contrary, increasing your self-esteem leads to an increase in your income and earning more money. So if you have financial problems, be sure to look for the reason in your emotional state.

A pathological manifestation of low self-esteem is an inferiority complex.

Self-esteem is the key to achieving success in any area of human activity. Self-confidence leads to making important and timely decisions, and underestimating one’s strengths reduces the level of a person’s personal energy, makes him constantly doubt himself and, instead of taking action, think about action.

Books that increase self-esteem

10 books about self-confidence:

Marty Klein "Sexual Intelligence".
Andrey Kurpatov “Being an Egoist.”
Sue Hadfield, Jill Hasson “Gaining self-confidence. What does it mean to be assertive?
Robert Kelsey "The Confidence Code" Why smart people are not confident in themselves and how to fix it.”
Philippa Perry How not to go crazy. Bring order to your thoughts and feelings.”
Ivan Sechenov “Reflexes of the brain”
Desmond Morris "The Naked Ape"
Robert Sapolsky, Who Are We? Genes, our body, society"
Alexander Nevzorov “The Art of Insulting”
Daniel Kahneman "Think Slowly... Decide Fast"

You can learn how to speak in public, negotiate and present yourself competently in public speaking or acting courses.

In personal growth courses, you will gain knowledge that will help you set goals and competently build a strategy to achieve them. Experienced trainers will teach you how to “calculate” weaknesses and give working techniques on how to communicate with people, sell and cope with fear.

Public speaking and personal growth courses last 8-10 lessons.

The cost of public speaking courses starts from 2,000 to 35,000 rubles. The price of personal growth trainings reaches 50,000 rubles.

When choosing courses, pay attention to student reviews, the course program and the number of people in the group.

Don't forget to find out about the teacher's experience and qualifications. Call him personally, ask questions and listen to your own feelings. Do you want to learn confidence and speech from him? If you want to be like him, this is your coach!

Why is it important to love yourself and what will happen if you don’t?

Increasing self-esteem means loving yourself: accepting yourself as you are with all your shortcomings and flaws. Everyone has disadvantages: a self-confident person differs from someone who is always doubtful and insecure in that he sees in himself not only shortcomings, but also advantages, and at the same time knows how to present himself favorably to others.

If you don't love yourself, how can others love you? It is known that consciously and subconsciously people strive for contact and communication with self-confident individuals. It is these individuals who are most often chosen as business partners, friends and husbands (or wives).

If you doubt yourself and blame yourself for every little thing, you are automatically programming yourself for further failures and making decision-making more and more difficult. Learn to praise yourself, forgive yourself and love yourself - you will see how the attitude of others towards you will change.

Signs of low (-) self-esteem

A person with low self-esteem usually exhibits the following qualities:

excessive self-criticism and self-dissatisfaction;
increased sensitivity to criticism and the opinions of others;
constant indecision and fear of making a mistake;
pathological jealousy;
envy of the success of others;
passionate desire to please;
hostility towards others;
constant defensive position and the need to justify one’s actions;
pessimism, negative worldview.

An individual with low self-esteem perceives temporary difficulties and failures as permanent and draws incorrect conclusions. The worse we feel about ourselves, the more negatively those around us treat us: this leads to alienation, depression and other psycho-emotional disorders.

Factors influencing self-esteem

There are several important factors that determine how a person treats himself.

His body and behavior give him away:

The first factor is how a person takes care of his body, how he dresses.
Level of aspiration. A woman or man who does not respect himself will go to work in a job he doesn’t like with a small but constant salary. These are the statistics. Only an individual who truly believes in his uniqueness is capable of achievement.
Level of competence and professionalism. To achieve a better salary and a better social environment, you need to develop professionalism.
Environment - how confident his friends and relatives are.
Level of stress experienced. If anxiety is elevated all the time, then, undoubtedly, a person will not set high goals for himself and achieve them.
Self-doubts and fears. Everyone has fears, but normally they do not prevent a person from doing what he wants.

Without this foundation of self-esteem, a person will achieve nothing in his life. Even if he is talented in something.

High self-esteem and self-confidence are an important factor in achieving success.

Before I talk about ways to increase self-esteem, I want to emphasize the importance of self-love for achieving success and well-being. For some reason, it is believed that selfishness is a sin, or at least something that should be avoided.

In fact, the lack of love and respect for one’s own personality is what gives rise to numerous complexes and internal conflicts.

If a person has a low opinion of himself, it is unlikely that others will think differently. And vice versa - self-confident people are usually highly valued by others: their opinions are listened to, people strive to communicate and cooperate with them. Having learned to respect ourselves, we will gain the respect of others, and also learn to adequately relate to the opinions of others about us.

Signs of high (+) self-esteem

People with healthy, high self-esteem have the following benefits:

accept their physical appearance as it is;
self-confident;
are not afraid to make mistakes and learn from them;
calmly accept criticism and compliments;
know how to communicate, do not experience shyness when communicating with strangers;
respect the opinions of others, but also value their own view of things;
take care of their physical and emotional well-being;
develop harmoniously;
achieve success in their endeavors.

Self-confidence and self-esteem are the same necessary factors for achieving success and happiness as sun and water for a plant: without them, personal growth is impossible. Low self-esteem deprives a person of perspective and hope for change.

Auto-training to increase self-esteem

Everything you say about yourself is necessarily deposited in your subconscious. Therefore, you need to monitor all your thoughts. You must try to speak and think only in a positive direction. You need to understand that each person creates himself. Try to find positive traits and qualities in yourself, thereby increasing your self-esteem.

The basis of any auto-training are exercises that are based on volitional relaxation and reinforce positive emotions, conditioned reflexes, as well as affirmations to increase self-esteem. Self-education and self-hypnosis open the way to a rational transformation of personal qualities and characteristics.

The main role in auto-training is given to verbal formulations, which, with constant repetition, become fixed in our minds. You can come up with such formulations yourself, the main thing is to adhere to the basic rules of construction. We must completely stop using words like “I’ll try” and “I’ll try.” All formulations must carry only a positive attitude; the use of the particle “not” is prohibited. Auto-training should be completed with the words “at the moment I realize...”.

Auto-training to increase self-esteem is considered one of the most effective techniques. By managing your thoughts, you can banish anxiety and give yourself confidence. Everyone knows that emotions affect the body, but there is also feedback - our body affects emotions and general mood. When going to work or doing household chores in the morning, repeat affirmations to yourself or out loud to increase your self-esteem. And the result will not take long to arrive.

After regular auto-training, the following positive effects are observed:

— emotional overstrain and physical stress are reduced;

— symptoms of overwork are relieved;

— strength and performance are restored thanks to the relaxing effect;

- sleep is normalized;

— self-actualization develops, attention and imagination are activated;

— the process of socialization of the individual is facilitated;

- excessive clumsiness, timidity in communication and self-doubt go away;

— the level of social competence and self-esteem increases.

Low self-esteem - 5 main reasons

There are a great many factors that directly or indirectly influence our attitude towards ourselves. These are genetic characteristics, external data, social status, and marital status. Below we look at the 5 most common reasons for low self-esteem.

Reason 1. Improper upbringing in the family

Our attitude towards ourselves directly depends on proper upbringing. If our parents did not encourage us, but, on the contrary, scolded us and constantly compared us with others, we simply will not have a reason to love ourselves - there will be no basis on which faith in our abilities will be based.

A decrease in self-esteem and a lack of confidence in one’s own words and actions is influenced by parents’ criticism of any initiatives, undertakings and actions. Even as an adult, a person who was constantly criticized in childhood subconsciously continues to be afraid of mistakes.

Parents (teachers, coaches) should know how to increase the self-esteem of a child who suffers from doubts and lack of self-confidence.

The best way is praise, unobtrusive encouragement. It is enough to sincerely praise your child several times for a correctly completed school task or a carefully drawn drawing, and his self-esteem will inevitably increase.

Psychologists say that the family is the center of the world for a child: it is there that all future characteristics of an adult personality are laid. Passivity, lethargy, uncertainty, and other negative qualities are a direct reflection of parental suggestions and attitudes.

Self-esteem is usually higher among only children and those who were born first. Other children often develop a “little brother complex,” when parents constantly compare the younger child with the older one.

An ideal family for adequate self-esteem is one in which the mother is always calm and in a good mood, and the father is demanding, fair and has unquestionable authority.

Reason 2. Frequent failures in childhood

No one is immune from failures, the main thing is our attitude towards them. A strong traumatic event can affect the psyche in the form of a guilt complex and decreased self-esteem. For example, some children blame themselves for their parents' divorce or their frequent quarrels: in the future, the feeling of guilt is transformed into constant doubts and an inability to make a decision.

In childhood, completely harmless events take on cosmic proportions. For example, having taken second rather than first place in a competition, an adult athlete will sigh and continue training with redoubled force, while a child may receive psychological trauma for life, especially if the parents do not show proper understanding of the situation.

What fuels low self-esteem in childhood? Failures, mistakes, ridicule of peers, careless remarks from adults (parents first of all). As a result, the teenager develops the opinion that he is bad, unlucky, inferior, and a false sense of guilt appears for his actions.

Reason 3. Lack of clear goals in life

If you have nothing to strive for in life, you do not need to strain and make volitional efforts. Lack of clear goals, laziness, following standard philistine imperatives - this is easy and does not require the manifestation of personal qualities. Such a person does not plan to become successful and rich; he is passive at his core.

Often people with low self-esteem live on autopilot, half-heartedly. They are satisfied with gray tones, an inconspicuous lifestyle, the absence of bright colors - there is no desire to get out of the swamp. Such people stop paying attention to their own appearance, income, stop dreaming and striving for changes. Naturally, self-esteem in such a situation is not just low, but completely absent.

Growing up, a person becomes passive, and then shifts all these problems onto his family when he gets married.

Here the conclusion suggests itself: it is just as necessary for a man and a woman, that is, an adult, to increase self-esteem as it is for a child. After all, everything starts from childhood, and then nothing changes unless an adult himself makes an effort for this.

Reason 4. Unhealthy social environment

If you are surrounded by people without specific goals in life, who are in constant spiritual anabiosis, you are unlikely to have a desire for internal transformation.

High self-esteem and ambition appear where there are role models - if all your friends and acquaintances are accustomed to living in the shadows, without showing initiative, then you, most likely, will be completely satisfied with such an existence.

If you notice that everyone around you is pathologically accustomed to complaining about life, gossiping, judging others and overly philosophizing for no reason, you should think about whether you are on the same path with these people?

After all, such people can become energy vampires for you and prevent you from awakening your true potential.

If you feel that this tendency is taking place, change this environment or at least limit communication with him.

It is best to communicate with people who are already successful, have their own business and know how to earn money. We have already written before on the topic of how to make money, we recommend that you read this article.

Reason 5. Defects in appearance and health

Low self-esteem often occurs in children with defects in appearance or congenital diseases.

Even if parents behave correctly towards such a child, he can be significantly influenced by the social environment - first of all, the opinion of peers.

A typical example is overweight children who are given offensive nicknames in kindergarten or school. Low self-esteem in such cases is practically guaranteed if appropriate measures are not taken.

In this case, you should try to eliminate the existing shortcomings, and if this is not possible, then you need to begin to develop other qualities that will make the person (child) more developed, charismatic and self-confident.

Example
If a child is overweight and has a corresponding unattractive appearance, then with the right approach to developing his abilities and talents, this disadvantage can be turned into an advantage.
Perhaps he will show an ability for sports (weightlifting or wrestling, or boxing), or vice versa, he will be able to become a sought-after actor with his inherent type.

In general, there are thousands of examples where people with huge physical disabilities have achieved worldwide recognition, created happy families and at the same time live the life that “healthy” people can only dream of.

The most striking example of this is Nick Vujicic , a world-famous speaker and preacher. Nick was born without arms and legs , naturally experienced a huge inferiority complex and even wanted to commit suicide.

But, thanks to his willpower and desire to live, he achieved public recognition and helped thousands of people around the world find themselves and cope with psychological difficulties.

Now Nick is a dollar millionaire and a favorite of thousands of people, because he helped them change their lives. By working on your self-esteem, you can reach unprecedented heights and even repeat the success of Nick Vujicic, despite the fact that now your condition may not be the best.

We have already written here about how rich people think and what it takes to become a millionaire.

Exercise to restore self-esteem

Break into pairs and stand side by side.
One stands with her arms extended along her body; the other to her left, placing her right hand just above her shoulder blades, and her left hand a hand's width above her chest. They say that our soul lives there - our value. The one who stands with her hands down, closes her eyes, takes a breath and, as she exhales, is transported to her childhood.

You see yourself between the ages of seven and twelve. Remember everything you learned, what worked well for you, what didn’t work out well, what you were praised for, what you were scolded for, what they admired about you, and what, on the contrary, they laughed at.

Now start breathing slowly together. The second, the one that gives energy, must adapt to the breathing of the first. Feel the energy flowing between your hands, filling your friend with value.

Speak slowly, addressing her on a first-name basis, something like: “We have been waiting for you, we are so happy that you are with us, you are so wonderful, so wonderful, so beautiful, so desirable. We appreciate you. You are important to the world just the way you are.”

Say whatever comes to mind without thinking. Stand like this for about 7–10 minutes. When time passes, you say: “I’m taking my hand away now, but your resource remains with you.” Slowly remove your hand and change roles.

How to Increase Self-Esteem and Confidence - 7 Powerful Ways

How to increase self-esteem and love yourself? There are many ways to make yourself believe in your own abilities, but I have chosen seven of the most reliable and effective options.

Method 1. Change your environment and communicate with successful people

Since man is a social being, he is completely dependent on his environment. How to believe in yourself and increase self-esteem with the help of other people? It’s very simple – you need to change your environment.

I already wrote above that communicating with uninitiated, sluggish and lazy people without ambitions and desires for change is a direct path to decreased self-esteem and lack of motivation in life.

If you radically change your social circle and start communicating with successful, purposeful, self-confident people, you will almost immediately feel yourself changing for the better. Gradually, self-respect, self-love and all those qualities without which it is impossible to achieve success will return to you.

By communicating with successful and prosperous people, you will learn to value individuality (including your own), begin to think differently about your personal time, find a goal and begin to achieve success on your own.

Method 2. Attending events, trainings, seminars

In any city, events, trainings or seminars are held where specialists teach everyone to gain self-confidence and increase self-esteem.

Experts in applied psychology will be able to turn a timid, indecisive individual into a strong-willed, self-satisfied and purposeful person in a few months: the main thing is to have an initial impulse and desire for change.

There are many competent books that talk in detail, with examples and explanations, about the need for self-love and respect: if you want changes, familiarizing yourself with such literature will be very productive.

I recommend reading the following books: Brian Tracy “Self-Esteem”, Sharon Wegshida-Cruz “How Much Are You Worth? How to learn to love and respect yourself."

The books “The Charm of Femininity” by Helen Andelin and “Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay will be especially relevant for increasing female self-esteem.

It is also useful to watch video content on this topic - documentaries and feature films that help increase self-esteem.

Method 3. Leaving the “comfort zone” - performing unusual actions

A person’s desire to escape from problems into a personal comfort zone is quite understandable. It is much easier in difficult situations to console yourself with sweets, alcohol, and savoring your own powerlessness. It is much more difficult to face the challenge and do something that is unusual for us.

At first it may seem that outside your comfort zone there is a hostile and inhospitable world, but then you will understand that real life, full of beauty, adventure and positive emotions, is exactly where you have not been before.

Staying in familiar conditions is like living in an invisible cage, from which you are afraid to leave simply because you are accustomed to it. By learning to leave your comfort zone and still remain calm, collected and balanced, you will gain a powerful incentive to raise your self-esteem and shape your new image.

You can start small - for example, stop sitting in front of the TV after work, and buy a gym membership, go jogging, yoga, and meditation.

Set a goal - to learn an unfamiliar language in six months or to meet the girl you like tonight. Don’t be afraid if you don’t succeed the first time – but new sensations and increased self-esteem are guaranteed.

Method 4. Refusal of excessive self-criticism

By stopping self-flagellation, blaming yourself and “eating” for mistakes, flaws in appearance, failures in your personal life, you will achieve several goals at once:

Release enormous amounts of energy. You will not lose your attention to self-criticism, and there will be time for other, more creative and worthy tasks;
Learn to accept yourself for who you are. You are the one and only person on this planet. So why compare yourself to others? It is better to focus on achieving your own goals according to your potential and your idea of happiness;
Learn to see the positive traits of your personality . Instead of dwelling on the negative, purposefully find your strengths and work on developing them.

In the end, any failures, disappointments and mistakes can be turned to your advantage by using them as life experience.

Method 5. Playing sports and leading a healthy lifestyle

In the course of experiments conducted by European scientists, it was found that one of the simplest and most effective ways to increase self-esteem is to engage in sports, physical exercise, or activities aimed at improving health and well-being.

A healthy body is a container for a healthy spirit and correct thoughts, and vice versa: it is difficult for a person who is heavy to lift, with an untrained body, to make decisions and act independently.

Having started playing sports, a person begins to perceive his appearance less critically and treat himself more respectfully. At the same time, increasing self-esteem does not depend on the results of training: even if the changes are minor, the process of training itself is important.

The more actively you exercise, the better you begin to feel about yourself.

Any physical activity (especially for a person working in an office) is an opportunity to gain confidence and love yourself. There is a completely scientific explanation for this phenomenon: during sports, a person intensively produces dopamine - neurotransmitters responsible for reward (in bypass they are sometimes called “joy hormones”).

Biochemical changes have a positive effect on the psyche and increase our self-esteem.

Method 6. Listening to affirmations

Affirmations are one of the most effective ways to reprogram your own consciousness. In psychology, affirmations are understood as short verbal formulas that, when repeated many times, create a positive attitude in a person’s subconscious. In the future, this attitude contributes to changing character and personality traits towards improvement.

Affirmations are always formulated as a fait accompli, which forces a person to accept them as a given and think accordingly. If our subconscious considers us self-confident, successful and purposeful, then gradually we really become so.

Typical examples of affirmations for increasing self-esteem: “I am the master of my life,” “I can have everything I want,” “I believe in myself, so everything comes to me freely and effortlessly.” These linguistic formulas can be repeated independently or listened to in the player: the main thing in this practice is regularity.

Helpful advice
Read these phrases into the microphone, record a track of several minutes from them and listen to them in your free time. This technology is recommended by Western psychologists and has proven to be highly effective.

Method 7. Keeping a diary of successes and achievements

A diary of your own victories and achievements will help teenagers, men and women, to raise their self-esteem.

Start such a diary right now and write down everything that you managed to achieve in a day (week, month). A success diary is a powerful stimulating tool that will make you believe in yourself and allow you to increase your own effectiveness many times over.

Every day, write down any victories you have, no matter how small.

Example
I took my grandmother across the road;
I wanted to eat junk food, but I restrained myself;
Woke up and went to bed on time (according to plan);
Gave a gift to my beloved (beloved);
Earned 10% more than the previous month;

All these “little things” relate to your personal successes, be sure to include them in your success diary and read it regularly.

If you write down only 5 simple things a day, then this will already be 150 of your achievements per month!

Not so little for one month, would you agree?!

One of our articles was written about how to become rich and successful from scratch, and keeping a success diary can be the first step towards this.

Checklist “Movies that increase self-esteem”

Now you know what to do with your insecurities and how to increase your self-esteem. Don't waste time - start taking action today! Assess your level of confidence and choose the right way to increase your self-esteem. You will succeed!

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Dependence on public opinion is a factor that destroys personality: we overcome self-doubt

Public opinion can ruin our lives if we give it too much importance.

Constructive criticism pointing out specific mistakes is useful and helps in development, but completely depending on the opinions of others is a big mistake.

Learn to value your own opinion and your own view of things, then the words of others will cease to be so important to you. If, when performing any actions, you think first of all about what people will say, how they will look at you, then you are unlikely to succeed in your endeavors.

Let public opinion depend on you, not you on it. Embody your own will and think less about the consequences.

How to become more self-confident - practical exercises

To develop self-confidence, I recommend doing the following 2 exercises:

"You're your own clown." Preparation: You dress ridiculously, for example, in curlers, a huge tie, funny clothes. Then go outside, go into stores, generally behave as if this is your everyday appearance. Naturally, you will feel discomfort in this form. But at the same time, your psychological threshold for critical perception of you by others will decrease;
"Speaker for Life" Try to speak publicly as often as possible. If at work your boss asks someone to prepare a presentation, organize an event, or go on a business trip with an important report, take the initiative and take on these functions yourself. If you have a fear of public speaking, then ways to overcome it have already been described in this article.

Both of these exercises involve getting out of your comfort zone. Our brain begins to think that this behavior is normal for us and these things no longer cause as much stress as before. Remember, the best way to get rid of fear is to do what you are afraid of!

Examples from the practice of a psychologist

A girl came to the reception who considered herself terribly unsuccessful: she didn’t like the profession she received, her life’s work had to be closed because she had a child, which is why she could no longer devote much time to work. But every day she reproached herself for being unsuccessful at thirty: she had achieved nothing, earned little. All this time, a hobby was present in her life, which brought her a little money, but she never attached much importance to it, did not try to develop in it, since she did not consider a hobby to be a serious activity.

We managed to change our outlook on life, work through our deepest beliefs, and change the concept of success instilled in our heads by our parents in childhood with our own understanding of success. Now her hobby has become a recognizable brand, brings a stable income, satisfaction, and allows her to spend enough time with her child. Don’t you think that this is exactly the success that this woman was looking for?

People turn to a psychologist with various problems in life, but the roots of these problems often grow from the conviction that other people are more successful, beautiful and better, the belief in their own failure, and self-blame. In these cases, the psychologist works through maladaptive dysfunctional thoughts of self-devaluation, and together with the client replaces them with adaptive ones, which he introduces into real life. It sounds simple and easy, but it is painstaking work, a new skill that a person needs to bring to automaticity so that new thoughts about himself fill his head.

How to find yourself and learn to manage your self-esteem - 5 important tips

And now 5 short tips for managing self-esteem:

Stop comparing yourself to others;
Stop scolding and criticizing yourself;
Communicate with positive people;
Do what you enjoy;
Take action, don't think about action!

Remember that you are a unique individual with enormous potential and unlimited possibilities. Increasing your self-esteem is one way to realize your full potential.

Five steps to confidence. Advice for women

Self-esteem, or evaluating your own efforts, is a habit like getting up at 6 a.m. and brushing your teeth. A person must train himself, overcome his own complexes, change outdated attitudes. Trainings alone are not enough. Women, like men, also want to be self-fulfilled in society. But what to do if there is no will? It is necessary that respect and self-love be constantly “on” - when you are at home with your family, and when you are at a meeting with friends, and at work in your boss’s office.

So, how can a woman love herself and increase her self-esteem? Follow these rules:

Stop comparing yourself to other people. This is a terrible habit, and it brings nothing but a feeling of inferiority.
Set yourself a goal. What did you want most during your school years? Now you have grown up, and it's time to fulfill your dreams.
Join a sports club. Exercising three times a week helps improve psychological comfort. In a couple of months you will have a wonderful figure and will be able to boast of attention from the opposite sex.
Read motivational books. For example, books by Louise Hay or the now popular “Increase self-esteem. How?, written by David Preston.
Stop doing what you don't like.

Another important recommendation from psychologists is to try to help others. Caring for people or homeless animals will occupy your thoughts and time. The English poet William Blake said, “The busy bee has no room to mourn.” That is, there will be no time left for self-criticism at all with such busyness. If you go in the right direction, a person quickly becomes independent and ceases to depend on his parents or husband.

Self-esteem test - determine the level of attitude towards yourself today

My self-esteem test consists of a few simple questions that you only have to answer “YES” or “NO.” When you do this, count the number of positive and negative responses.

Do you often scold yourself for mistakes (yes/no);
Do you like to gossip with girlfriends (friends) and discuss mutual acquaintances (yes/no);
You do not have clear goals and you do not plan your life (yes/no);
You do not engage in physical education and sports (yes/no);
Do you like to worry about trifles (yes/no);
When you find yourself in an unfamiliar company, do you prefer to remain “in the shadows” (yes/no);
When meeting the opposite sex, you cannot carry on a conversation (yes/no);
When you are criticized does it make you depressed (yes/no);
You like to criticize people and are often jealous of other people's success (yes/no);
You are easily offended by a careless word (yes/no).

Key to the self-esteem test:

Answers “Yes” from 1 to 3 : Congratulations, you have normal self-esteem.

There are more than 3 “Yes” answers : you have low self-esteem, work on it.

How to love yourself?

To remove outdated thought forms from the subconscious, you will have to fight many blocks inside. It is not so easy to reformat yourself, since beliefs become simply iron over the years; it is impossible and not necessary to look inside yourself critically and without the help of a psychotherapist. But still, if you persist, you will be able to break old thoughts.

So, what techniques will help you cope with inadequate self-esteem? Affirmations. We select a list of new beliefs about our personality and try to “introduce” them into our heads, writing them down on paper many, many times. This is the classic way, but it takes too much time.

How to increase self-esteem and attract success

Most people suffer from low self-esteem, but high self-esteem can also become an obstacle to achieving your goals. A person with low self-esteem is sure deep down that there is something wrong with him, that he is not worthy and does not deserve happiness, money, success. And people with high self-esteem believe that they deserve the best, but are often not ready to work for it - they expect everything to come on its own. Both are problems when achieving life goals.

To achieve success, esotericists advise clearing your brain of debris, forgiving everyone and starting to meditate. Financiers advise simply saving and investing money wisely. But for some reason these tips don’t work for most people.

If you want to become successful and start earning good money, you want to become successful and start earning good money, you want to become successful and start earning good money, first of all you need to realize your worth and get rid of internal conflicts . To understand the mechanism, how it works, how incorrect internal attitudes prevent you from loving yourself and achieving your financial goals, becoming a happy and successful person, come to the free master class from Pavel Kolesov “Formula of Abundance”.

Achieving success and forgetting about failures

How can you achieve success if you are haunted by complexes and self-doubt? To begin, clearly decide what you need. Set yourself clear goals. Try to draw a clear picture in your mind. You must see yourself as you want to be. Think through everything down to the smallest detail. You will have something to strive for, and this will make the process much easier.

Love yourself and talk about it. Look in the mirror and try to comprehend the positive aspects of your appearance. She may differ from beauty standards, however, this does not mean that you should despair. You need to love your strengths and forget about your shortcomings.

Don't forget to record your progress. If you feel bad, re-read them. This will help you get into the right frame of mind. Even if you experience failure, do not despair. Every person can have ups and downs, you should take them as life lessons that you must go through in order to achieve success.

Why do women suffer more often from low self-esteem?

Women are more sensitive and gentle in nature. In addition, in the post-Soviet space, women still have to defend their rights. In many families, girls are still taught unconditional obedience. But in fact, women are just as strong-willed as men. It's all about self-hypnosis, incorrect self-esteem. Trainings for women and books by famous psychologists will help you cope with all your internal complexes.

Constant fears and anxieties can lead to neurosis. It is important to deal with your “inner demons” in time and go out into society with your head held high and new goals in life. A strong woman internally is one who loves and accepts herself.