A person often underestimates his strength in the short term and overestimates it in the long term. The more time an individual spends on achieving a goal, the higher the likelihood of getting what he wants.
Confident man
Self-doubt becomes a frequent obstacle on the way to the goal. It manifests itself at different levels: awareness of one’s desires, actions and analysis of consequences. Only the person who moves towards his goal, despite all obstacles, can get what he wants. How to become a confident man?
What is male self-confidence
Self-confidence is a quality that has no gender. The fact that men are more confident is nothing more than a stereotype. A person’s self-esteem depends, first of all, on experience, upbringing and characteristics of thinking and closely correlates with optimism and pessimism.
Successful confident man driving
Men's self-confidence is often confused with arrogance. This is a common mistake, although in reality it represents the belief that everything will end well.
Some traits of male self-confidence:
- Responsibility. A person with adequate self-esteem is always responsible for his actions. She understands that not everything depends on her, but she knows how to distinguish between what is within her area of responsibility and what is not.
- The ability to face fear. You need to be honest with yourself. Everyone is afraid, only people with high self-esteem can admit their fears and act despite them. You need to look fear in the eye easily.
- Patience. A confident man will always experience the most appropriate emotions in a given situation and will not get angry over trifles. He clearly understands when feelings will help him achieve his goal and when they won’t.
- Respect for others. A person with adequate self-esteem will not devalue his own achievements or take credit for the successes of others. Any successful person has become so thanks to someone, you need to sincerely thank him for this. It is necessary to share your achievements with others.
- Setting goals. A confident person easily sets himself new challenges and overcomes himself. At the same time, he understands that there are failures, but he learns lessons from them and adapts flexibly.
- Understanding your needs and the ability to compromise. A confident person understands that his freedom ends where the freedom of another begins. This does not mean that he will always give in; it is important to respect the other person’s choice.
For your information. Self-confidence is psychological maturity.
He blames his ex for everything
When a man scolds his ex, the woman internally rejoices. After all, in a sense, he scolds her competitor. But try to look at everything from the other side.
If a man blames his ex-girlfriend for everything, he is unlikely to have learned anything from his past relationship. If she's so bad, what was he doing next to her all this time?
This behavior of a man should alert you: you, too, can become another ex who is to blame for all the troubles of his unfortunate man.
Look for a partner who will look not for someone to blame, but for a solution to the problem. Only with such a man can you build a happy relationship. You need to start working with yourself:
Reasons for a guy's low self-esteem
The formation of low self-esteem begins in childhood. The reason is the parents. Since the child does not yet know how to independently evaluate his activities, he is guided by the coordinate system of adults. If relatives constantly criticize the child for every little thing, after a while he will do this to himself.
How to increase self-esteem for a child - what affects self-confidence
Another reason for a guy’s low self-esteem is being raised in a situation of increased responsibility. The child grows up to be a perfectionist, for whom a step to the left or right is execution. A sense of responsibility is an important characteristic of a self-confident person, but it should not go off scale.
Failures also lead to a decrease in self-esteem only if a person interprets them in a certain way. In many ways, the model of how an adult guy reacts to mistakes is the same as how his parents reacted to his mistakes. It is important not to criticize yourself for the slightest mistake, because then you will not achieve any success.
The lack of a coordinate system in childhood is also a cause of decreased self-esteem. This often happens when one parent is too strict, the other is too soft. The educational line should be the same for all family members to avoid low self-esteem in men.
Failures are a common cause of decreased confidence. A failed date, divorce, betrayal, or dismissal can bring back a pessimistic outlook on life after long work to develop optimism. Even a previously outgoing person may begin to fear people after a major relationship failure.
Important! Although most causes of self-doubt go back to childhood, the way an adult interprets events can make the problem worse.
There is no need to blame the parents; it is necessary to look for a way out of this situation.
Main differences from female psychology
Differences in the psychology of the sexes arise due to hormonal characteristics. Men's perception of the opposite sex is different from women's. First of all, they pay attention to the appearance of the chosen one, while women are more concerned about the inner world of their partner. However, this does not mean that only the shell is important to them; the girl’s character interests them no less.
Men do not understand hints and are worse at picking up on their partner’s mood changes than women. The stronger sex is used to hiding feelings, experiencing everything within themselves, and solving problems on their own. Guys find it more difficult to admit their weaknesses and share their experiences with others.
Ways to increase self-esteem for men
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence for men and women
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence for a man? This is a complex procedure that includes short-term and long-term actions.
Confident man on top of a mountain
Psychologists have worked out a huge number of ways to increase a guy’s self-esteem:
- Meditation. It has long gone beyond religious practices. Its task is to help a person perceive his emotions as a background to which he can react or ignore it. Meditation helps to cope well with fears and not give them the opportunity to dictate a person’s actions.
- Affirmations. Verbal formulas that, when repeated many times, become embedded in the subconscious. They must be formulated in the first person and in the current tense. For example, “I am a confident man.”
- Autogenic training. This is a synthesis of the two previous techniques. First you need to meditate and calm down, then pronounce self-hypnosis formulas or imagine situations in which the practitioner will behave confidently. The picture should have as much detail as possible. Those who have tried autogenic training have already understood how to be a confident man. The famous psychologist, Viktor Frankl, thanks to her, was not only able to maintain self-esteem in a concentration camp, but also help other prisoners do the same.
- Corset of confidence. This is a body position that is associated with confidence. You need to straighten your posture and place your head perpendicular to the floor. You can imagine yourself as a Hollywood actor who plays the role of the most confident person in front of the camera.
- Increasing income. Now there are many opportunities to find a job you will like online. If you find a part-time job on the Internet in parallel with your main job, within a year your self-esteem will be incomparably higher. Nothing is more capable of raising the self-esteem of most men than financial well-being. Although if self-confidence depends only on money, this is a bad sign. You can gain adequate self-esteem only by working through an internal system of criteria, what is good and bad.
- Communication. Proper contacts can also increase a man's self-esteem. Of course, you don’t need to depend on them, but a person can form his own social circle.
Important! The main thing in how to raise a man’s self-esteem is to constantly set goals for yourself and achieve them, despite difficulties. After some time, self-esteem will grow on its own.
He hides his past
A man does not want to show children's photographs, avoids talking about student life and does not talk about events of the recent past? This already indicates a serious problem.
There were probably great difficulties or traumatic events in his past that he prefers not to remember.
You can entrust any experience to a close and beloved person, and if this does not happen, the man does not consider the girl such a dear person.
However, the reason may be different: the man’s past could include a spouse, children, outstanding debts, or problems with the law.
How a woman can help
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence for a woman - psychology
To help a man become more confident, a woman needs to support and motivate him. It is also necessary to gently point out even his smallest victories. Ideally, he should draw positive conclusions himself.
Man motivated by a woman
In addition, it is important to support his independence. External influence on self-esteem has one drawback - as long as the wife motivates the husband, he is ready for anything. As soon as this impact stops (sooner or later, any woman will stop doing this, especially if it’s hard), then everything returns to normal. Therefore, a woman needs to quickly help her husband develop his own coordinate system.
Serious advice for quickly increasing a man’s self-esteem: criticism should be expressed extremely calmly. No matter how harsh a man may seem, at heart he is very vulnerable. If the wife does not feel the line with criticism, family life may stop altogether. After a breakup, everyone's self-esteem will deteriorate.
He's too into you
It seems that this is what most girls dream about. Flowers, gifts, constant calls and conversations until the morning, poems in your honor and a sea of attention... What is this if not fate and the love of your life?
It turns out that there is a special type of man for whom relationships with a girl are like a roller coaster. A wave of attention and care gives way to indifference and coldness after the first successes in conquest.
Don’t be fascinated: even a ton of gifts and a million compliments do not speak about his real feelings.
What psychologists say
Self-esteem is constantly changing under the influence of current events. It is also affected by the time of day. In the morning, a person is more confident in himself, so it is better to plan complex tasks for this part of the day.
Self-esteem does not always have to be adequate, it must motivate
So how can a man increase his self-esteem and self-confidence? A good technique for restoring self-confidence after unpleasant events is reframing. In simple words, to raise self-esteem you need to look at the situation from a different angle from the position of what benefit or benefit can be derived from it. A positive attitude is directly related to self-esteem.
Thus, it is not difficult for a man to raise his self-esteem. It is enough to learn to take responsibility for your life, learn relaxation techniques and act towards your goals.
He's still in touch with his ex
Such relationships are like a ticking time bomb. After all, this communication can be confusing, and in special cases, lead to betrayal.
Nostalgia for pleasant moments from past relationships, attempts by an ex to raise her self-esteem by flirting with someone else’s lover, competition and undying love - these factors can hardly be frivolously called an innocent friendship.
He has financial problems
Not all men know how to handle money; some women manage their money much more wisely. But if you want to see your husband as a real leader in the family, worry about his financial reliability.
Otherwise, you will have to live in debt, go to a job you hate and all the time try to pull the man out of depression. Doesn't sound like a happy life.
Sign #6: leather bag
Ryan Reynolds
An important sign of a man’s status is a bag. The material is important: the bag must be made of high-quality expensive leather. Scuffs, stains, scratches, and even more so holes are unacceptable for a successful man: he monitors the condition of things and, at a minimum, has his accessories repaired on time. Another good sign is that the bag matches the trends: in the coming spring, leather purses, men's city backpacks, as well as roomy bags with short handles will be in fashion.
He takes on too much
Self-confident men perceive relationships as a game in which they are the main characters. A woman in such a couple is doomed to listen and obey.
Young girls often look at unequal relationships with excitement - they will be looked after, protected and supported by an experienced man. But over time, values change and the girls realize that they have been captured.
Inequality in relationships deprives a woman of the right to live the way she wants. Does your husband want to move to the countryside and start farming? You will have to abandon your ambitions and silently follow him - there will be no other choice.
