Is infantilism a reluctance to grow up or an immaturity of personality? Is it possible to help a child live up to his age?
Maria Drobot, child psychologist:
Tatyana Kovaleva, mother of ten-year-old Pavlik, came to me for a consultation. I listened to her - the story turned out to be not so unusual.
At first, parents were happy that their child communicated so easily with everyone, but then they began to notice that his spontaneity was crossing all boundaries. On the street he could approach a stranger and suddenly start telling him something. “We were really scared, there are all sorts of people, there are so many terrible stories around. They explained to him that he shouldn’t do that. It was as if he didn’t hear, although he nodded his head,” explained the alarmed mother.
Much more problems arose when my son went to school. He was absolutely unable to listen carefully to the teacher, he began to talk loudly in the middle of her explanation, or even could get up and start walking around the class in the middle of the lesson. Homework doesn't interest him at all. When they ask him why he doesn’t do his homework, he immediately cries bitterly.
This story, in my opinion, is very typical and perfectly illustrates a problem that is quite often observed by psychologists today - childhood infantilism. Many parents note a strange reluctance of their children to grow up, to carry out assignments, even simple ones, and to take responsibility for their studies.
Often, caring fathers and mothers explain this phenomenon by the complexity of modern life, which frightens today’s children, and by the desire to sit behind their parents’ back. Parents are either touched: “Let him be a child longer, he will have time to grow up!”, or they begin to overdramatize the situation, asking doctors whether the child has developmental delays. The last resort is endless visits to doctors and attempts to cure the child for unknown reasons. Both the first and second explanations lead to wrong actions, often traumatic for the child.
Let's try to figure out what is happening to the child, what are the causes, manifestations and consequences of infantilism and what should be the actions of parents.
What is infantility in simple words?
What does an infantile person mean? This is an immature, child-like adult. The term itself came to us from France and was first used in 1920. Since then, the total number of infantile people has increased many times over.
When the need to do a lot of housework, protect your home, get food, and experience difficulties went away, personalities stopped developing.
Nowadays, parents are too protective of their children, giving them the best, protecting them at all levels of social life. This creates weak personalities. Why do something and make adult decisions if you can escape adult life and rely on others? Infantile people live with this motto until all responsibility can be transferred to someone else: parents, spouse, friends, colleagues, children.
With the development of technologies that make our lives easier, there are more and more infantile people. The main theory behind the emergence of signs of infantility is that children do not need to work from a very young age. With growing up, according to your passport, maturity of thinking and behavior never comes.
An infantile person is an eternal child, incapable of mature thoughts and actions. His thinking is superficial, spontaneous and does not correspond to the person’s age.
Parents are often to blame for the development of infantilism. Too careful attitude towards the child, complete control of all actions gives rise to an immature personality. As a person ages, he is afraid to make decisions on his own; he is afraid of reproach and responsibility.
Over the years, this remains the case, men find powerful wives and this is the only way they feel comfortable, because in this case the woman makes all the decisions. Women find men who will protect, groom and cherish them.
Who is an infantile person? This concept can be confused with an ordinary egoist. Infantile people are capricious, irresponsible, dreamy, love entertainment and are very attached to their parents. They can be easily identified in society. Even when they are over 30, they live with their parents, do not think about their family, and prefer computer games and other children's entertainment. Reluctance to take responsibility and fear of independent life are the main features of infantility.
