Is it possible to love two people at the same time? What to do in such a situation

There are many cases when it is difficult for a representative of the stronger sex to make a choice in favor of one woman. It may seem incredible to some, but men often face the problem of choosing a partner. And all because both ladies evoke warm and tender feelings in him. Can a man love two women at the same time - psychology will help you answer this question. Experts say that this situation is quite understandable, since in each of his partners the representative of the stronger sex has found qualities that he wants to see in his soulmate.

Are these feelings really love? Main features

Before deciding how many people a person can love at once (with sincere love), you need to decide whether love really attracts the opposite sex. Perhaps it is a feeling of affection or it is simply a relationship to satisfy sexual needs.

The feeling of love is usually perceived as:

• strong attachment;
• willingness to do anything for the sake of a person, no matter what;
• being nearby brings a feeling of deep satisfaction;
• I want to protect my other half from all misfortunes and troubles;
• the expressed feelings do not require anything other than a response of the same feelings;
• I want to do everything to make a person happy;
• respect is required;
• sexual desire.

All feelings should not be taken for granted; they come from the heart and often in unison. People in love are distinguished by their romance. For the sake of a simple smile, you may even want to take a star out of the sky, and so on. And, of course, there is never a desire to change or cause any pain.

It is common to think that it is impossible to love two people at the same time. Since it will offend the feelings of the other half. Which is no longer acceptable to describe feelings of love. It usually happens that the old feelings for first love have cooled down, and what remains is just affection. Therefore, if a person meets a new love at this time, he will believe that he loves both, confusing the feeling of affection with love.

To love another means to change?2

For many women, cheating is when a loved one simply looked at another; for some, sex with a condom is no longer cheating. There are so many people, so many opinions, because some pathologically want to feel like a victim and therefore see betrayal in everything, while others try with all their might to justify their depravity by saying, “well, through an elastic band.” Let's approach the issue more directly and let the fact of sex on the side be considered treason.

And all other interpretations of this concept are from the evil one. Love is a feeling. Sex is an action. There is no direct relationship between them. How, you ask, because if your husband wants someone other than you, then... How will you find out about this? After all, if the spouse himself said this, then this only means that he has problems with upbringing or critically low self-esteem.

Whether a husband is capable of cheating depends more on his own moral and ethical ideas, self-esteem, the atmosphere in the family, satisfaction with family sex, and falling in love with someone can only push you to have sex, but never become a direct cause of cheating. If a husband’s self-esteem and his ideas about “right and wrong” do not always depend on the actions of his wife, then what can she do to minimize the likelihood of betrayal, or even the departure of her loved one for another?

Different people and different emotions

Why does it sometimes happen that you love two people at once? Here again the feeling of attachment can come into play. A true manifestation of love is possible for one person, but a habit for another. And you have to be torn between real emotions and false ones, perceiving both feelings as love. Here it is necessary to determine for whom there are feelings called love. Perhaps feelings and passion for the first person have cooled a little. But love itself has not gone away, and it’s worth rekindling the fire a little. Then the need for second love will disappear.

It is possible that there is real sympathy for two people, but it is completely different. For example, one is drawn to the desire for passionate sex, while the other is drawn to understanding and a sense of protection and devotion. But is it possible to love two equally? Most likely, unlikely. There may still be something wrong with one person. That's why there was a need for the second one. Often a woman can hear from a woman: “I love two men.” But in fact, the wallet is drawn to one (financial well-being), but the second is a real feeling.

Is it possible to love two women at the same time?

According to anthropologists, every man is essentially an alpha male, which means, a priori, polygamous. History knows many examples of polygamous families, and in the current culture of many nations, polygamy is considered the norm. On TV screens, stars shock the public with multiple love affairs, and the West is ready to completely abolish the institution of marriage. What was considered reprehensible 25 years ago is today cultivated and encouraged. The monogamous man has become an endangered species, while the freedom everyone desires is thriving. Is it good? Are there many truly happy families and children today? The freedom that everyone so stood up for is taking on truly ugly forms, and now we only read about what true love is in books.

Psychology calls ambivalent feelings a sign of infantility, and a person who cannot make up his mind and is not ready to take responsibility for his words and feelings is immature. It is family psychologists and psychotherapists who have to work with numerous depressions and treat broken hearts as a consequence of love triangles. Destructive relationships in which a man is attached to two women bring a lot of pain to all participants in such a relationship.

Different sensations

Another common reason to mistake two different sensations for love. This is a meeting with your soulmate on vacation, on a business trip, and so on. A new environment and new sensations sometimes provoke one to perceive a new acquaintance as love. The feelings are stronger, the person feels young and desirable again. And you don’t want to lose or spoil such relationships, since with first love all passion and romance have long since sunk into the past. Why does it sometimes happen that a person loves two people? For example, a guy went to university and met a girl who really liked him. Additionally, the young man gets a job, where he again meets a pretty and interesting girl. I like both of them, but it’s impossible to immediately choose which of the young ladies is more suitable. As a result, the young man meets with two at once, until a choice is finally made or one of the girls exposes the young man.

There is a group of people who perceive the feeling of sympathy and the process of courtship as love. Relationships usually do not last long, as passion fades over time and the need arises to find a new hobby. Real feelings of love are not inherent in this type of relationship.

Polyamory in art

Typical scenarios of such “amour de trois” can be clearly studied using examples of “masterpieces” of literature and cinema.

"Dog

in
the manger"
If you read Lope de Vega or watched the film of the same name (a classic of Soviet cinema) - you know what I mean. The woman just made herself comfortable.

"Chasing two birds with one stone"

Roughly, but clearly it is shown how it happens in life: there is material interest, there is “for the soul.” A scenario known to mankind since ancient times.

For wife status. And all these concubines, hetaeras, geishas and courtesans, favorites, are not for sex, for the soul.

"Loneliness on the Internet"

Janusz Wisniewski very accurately conveyed in this case women's experiences and logic, when a lady is bored and wants something “different”.

Classic: the bored wife of a rich but very busy man has found a “soulmate” on the Internet and exchanges with him thoughtful philosophies about life, love and the structure of the Universe. It is so romantic.

And all this emotional rigmarole is taken for the “love of life”... But the end of everything is harsh and vital. Watch, read, draw conclusions.

"The Great Gatsby"

Early relationships and feelings for two different people

Early marriages and relationships can also push a person towards double love. That is, for example, a girl, at the insistence of her parents, got married at eighteen. The husband is not bad and maybe even the same age, but there were no real feelings. At the age of 25, a girl meets a young man, feelings for whom arise immediately, but she also feels a pity to leave her husband, since she already has an attachment to him, and he is a good person, but she still doesn’t really know the new boyfriend. Then the girl thinks that she loves two men. It is quite difficult to decide what to do in this case. Here it’s worth weighing all the pros and cons” and objectively assessing the situation, listening to your heart.

Why does it happen that they love some people and marry others?

There are many situations in the arsenal of the mastermind of fate when a man is unable to marry for love. The options described above are also relevant. But they can be supplemented.

"Not yet evening"

A variation of the already discussed version of events can be called the psychology of a man who put off his declaration of love for a long time, and when he finally made up his mind, his passion turned out to be occupied by someone else.
He will marry someone else, and all his life, like a vile reptile that has bitten its victim, he watches the life of his beloved from afar, hoping that her marriage will break up successfully, or her husband will go to his forefathers, or, finally, she herself will “come to her senses and crawl to him.” on the knees".

Psychology is silent about how in this case they are going to treat their real wife.

“Not comme il faut?”

The “fear” of men to conquer a beautiful woman is countered by another phenomenon known in psychology. A man falls in love with a woman who... is shy. Whether she is not as presentable as the lady from his social circle, or not as educated, or much lower in social status - it doesn’t matter.

He knows that marriage with this woman will not be approved by his family, friends, or work colleagues. The psychology of “what will they say” forces a man to marry a lady from his circle, while simultaneously destroying not only his own life, but also hers.

"Yam"

An extremely rare option in our time, but familiar to psychology, is when a mother chooses a wife for her son. Mom is not interested in the psychology of her “child,” and the girls he likes are perceived as impudent contenders for the mother’s place in his heart.

Such situations are typical of families where the boy grew up in a totalitarian female environment. He can love a woman. But he must marry the one who, in his mother’s opinion, deserves him. This is why men love some people and marry others, and psychology knows many other circumstances.

New emotions in new relationships

Often, already at an age, a man or woman takes on a lover in order to experience adrenaline, to get away from everyday life, as revenge on the other half if she/he is unfaithful. And it happens that such relationships can degenerate into a new romance, sometimes with a continuation.

But whatever the reason for developing relationships with two partners at once, you should always imagine in advance what such adventures could lead to. If a person is not ready to lose his first love, and it is more precious, then he should not start dating two or end the relationship before it is too late. And the main thing you need to remember is that sooner or later a choice will need to be made, otherwise you may end up completely alone.

One woman for life: does this happen?

There are so many myths and curiosity surrounding monogamous men that it is impossible to ignore the question: can a man love one woman all his life?
For some reason, it seems to many that such men must be deficient in some way - they are attributed either physical ugliness, or failure in career growth, or sexual disability, or religious obscurantism.

In general, there are not enough positive reviews about deep feelings for the only woman among the people.

But let everyone look back at the past of their own family - is it bad to dream that your parents will live their whole lives in perfect harmony? If this was the case, can such a life be called flawed in some way?

The psychology of men who deny monogamous love is quite understandable:

• They live with a woman who serves them, supports them and loves them in her own way. They, while formally “loving” one, simultaneously have feelings for another woman, perhaps also unfree. No one dares to cut this Gordian knot, and the man is quite happy with this. Moreover, he is sure that a man can love two women at the same time.
• The psychology of men of a different type is unthinkable without romantic adventures and holiday romances. In such families, it is customary to “take a break from each other” by going on vacation alone. These people are also sure that a man can love two women at the same time.
• There is also a type of men who consider the institution of family to be an endangered type of relationship.

But let's try to look inside ourselves and ask - wouldn't we like to meet true love? And is it possible to question the value of family? What is called the social cell, which forms the basis of the human population and at the same time keeps the human race from extinction?

Psychology does not call for a man’s love for one woman to make him a slave and “inadequate” in relation to other women. But the beauty of love lies in the ability to survive any trials (even a sudden surge of love) and remain faithful to one beloved to the end.

What problems can there be if you love two people at the same time? The main disadvantages of such relationships

Before deciding on double love, you need to immediately look at all the problems that occur in such a triangle. So that they don't come as a surprise.

Disadvantages of love for three:

1. You need to be ready/prepared for judgmental opinions from friends or relatives if they know about it. And do not try to make a choice in favor of one person only according to outside opinions; you must listen to your own feelings.
2. If a person has two lovers, then usually one is official, and everyone knows about her: relatives, friends, at work. And the second is usually kept secret from relatives and employees (friends may know). And if the second love gets tired of being in the shadows and wants to take an official place next to the lover/beloved, then pressure will begin to make a choice. There will be a constant feeling of fear that the wife/husband will find out about the betrayal (especially if the official other half is dear). Often a person, having two lovers, becomes a hostage to a situation from which it is not always easy to get out.
3. When a person has “two loves,” it becomes difficult morally, physically and materially. For example, a man says: “I love two women at the same time.” This means not only that he is surrounded on both sides by love and affection. It is also a responsibility for two people. More money will be spent between two people (gifts, trips to restaurants and movies). It will be necessary to take into account physical capabilities; both ladies will want satisfaction in bed, help with housework and simply demand attention.
4. You need to be ready/prepared for feelings of jealousy from your unofficial other half, possible scandals and demands for more. Often the instigator of a love triangle has a constant feeling of guilt and fear of being discovered.
5. If the wife/husband finds out about the betrayal, then most likely there will be a divorce. And if a person is still dear, it will be hard to lose him forever. Therefore, it is better not to start another relationship if you have something to lose.

Before forming a love triangle, you need to realize all the responsibility and be sure/confident that it is possible to pull it off financially and physically.

Can a man love his wife and mistress?

Despite the complexity of the question posed, psychology gives a very specific and unambiguous answer - no, it is impossible to love both women at the same time.

Then a logical question arises about love triangles, the number of which is growing more and more every day. And here psychologists have a reasonable argument - the feeling experienced for one of the partners is wrong, it is short-term, fleeting: love, passion, sexual attraction, etc.

Online fortune telling - will a man return after a breakup?

All that remains is to understand how to distinguish a truly strong feeling from a short-lived one, and what to do for a representative of the fair sex whose lover has admitted that he loves someone else.

Causes of a love triangle

Having met, it would seem, the one with whom the young man wants to live his whole life, he begins to change: he becomes better, he believes that this is forever.

But it often happens that after some time, even the most beloved, beautiful and unique, turns into an ordinary woman, life next to her becomes familiar, monotonous, not bringing joy and pleasure. This does not mean that the love is gone; most likely, the feelings have simply become dull.

But suddenly the man has another object of adoration. A new hobby is a surge of emotions, re-experienced feelings. But what about the one who faded into the background, became boring and undesirable?

Watch the video. Is it possible to love two? Polygamy. Monogamy. Psychology.

There are several reasons why men find another love:

• A complete absence of any moral principles and the belief that such a model of relationships is the norm. Such individuals are always guided by instincts. Perhaps the man’s behavior is the result of improper parental upbringing, when from childhood the boy saw similar things in the actions of his father,
• The wife's unwillingness to take care of herself: lack of makeup, always disheveled, unkempt hair, favorite item of clothing - a shapeless robe. Or complete dissolution in everyday problems, caring for children and household affairs, as well as the confidence that the faithful will not leave his legal wife,
• At the very beginning of the relationship, the beloved did not consider it necessary to set boundaries. And the partner, who has not received any prohibitions, believes that the wife will calmly and painlessly endure any adventures of her husband.

The main reason for the appearance of a second partner is that the man finds in her some character traits that he would like to see in his soul mate.

However, the husband does not want to leave his woman. And all because she also has something that he likes.

7 out of 10 unfaithful spouses do not leave their wives

Often, representatives of the stronger sex strive not only to renew relationships, replenish, embellish their lives with new impressions, but also to preserve what they already have. They do not want to lose the happiness they have built with their spouse.

A love triangle can exist until one of the partners finds out about the presence of the other, or until the man himself gets tired of such a double life.

Fortune telling for the divorce of husband and wife.

Is a man capable of loving two people at once?

Considering such a question solely in the context of love, the answer to it is unequivocal - no. But on the other hand, each person has his own vision and concept of love. Everyone perceives it in their own way, putting a certain meaning into this word.

A man’s declaration of love is not yet a sign of genuine feeling, but it also cannot be called a lie. Sometimes people tend to exaggerate their feelings and sympathy. For some, love is a feeling for life, while others even consider short-term relationships and ordinary attraction to be love.

If we consider sympathy under this term, then it is quite natural to experience it for two women at once.

Why can't he decide?

The appearance of a new passion in the life of a representative of the stronger sex is not yet a reason to leave his wife or constant companion. Why is this happening?

There are several versions:

• The man in the new novel compensates for those feelings and emotions that he lacks with a regular girl,
• The guy is not ready to part with the one with whom he has lived for several years, he knows her habits, character, good qualities and shortcomings, or he simply feels guilty about the appearance of a new passion in his life,
• If both ladies appeared almost simultaneously, it is difficult for a man to make a choice, since each of them has individual qualities, character traits that attract and attract. It is quite possible that he has no serious feelings for any of them, but only passion, attraction, interest.

When meeting a new girl, men often see her as an ideal and create a certain image in their heads, in which there are no flaws or shortcomings. This happens due to the fact that in family life the representative of the stronger sex lacks interest and passion. But the fictional image does not always coincide with the real one.

What will happen next

In the end, any man still makes a choice in favor of one of his ladies. And who he ends up with is up to him to decide.

In most cases, the faithful is not ready to leave the family, the woman with whom he has lived for many years.

Quite often, the legal spouse does not even realize that there is a rival in her life. A smart husband tries to hide his affairs as carefully as possible.

But there are many cases when representatives of the fair sex find out the truth, and try in every possible way to return their loved one, without directly pointing out his betrayal. To do this, you can try to change your image, start taking care of yourself and your appearance, update your wardrobe, and work on your behavior.

But this option is suitable only for those who are ready to forgive their husband’s infidelity.

What should a wife do?

The husband’s new girlfriend forces the woman to act, because it is never known for sure about the intentions of the husband.

Fortune telling - will we make peace with our loved one?

Perhaps today he will decide to leave forever, preferring his mistress to his legal wife. Even if he is still around, the situation can change at any moment. What should you do to keep a man near you, to prevent him from taking this step?

Watch the video. Why do men have mistresses? Psychology of married men.

Please note the following recommendations:

• You should not consider your partner as a prize that the best will receive. What is he so good at that you idolize him? No need to humiliate yourself
• The best option is to take care of yourself. This will allow you to be distracted and transformed. And it doesn’t matter who the faithful end up with, because the new image doesn’t just change the appearance, it gives confidence, opening up new opportunities. It is possible that around the next turn bright impressions and a new partner await you - gentle, affectionate, reliable and truly loving,
• There is no truth in the phrase “loving two people at the same time”
• The return of the “prodigal” husband to the family should not be easy for him. To avoid similar situations in the future, you need to immediately make it clear that such antics are no longer acceptable. And he will have to prove his love not with words and promises, but with deeds and actions.

Psychologist's advice

Finding herself in a situation where a man “goes to the left,” the legal spouse, as a rule, does not seek to take any steps. She completely concentrates on her husband, waits for what he will decide in the end, and is tormented by questions: how long will his double life last, when he makes the final choice of what to do to get him back.

This position of the fair sex is quite understandable and quite common. But this is completely wrong, since all the initiative ends up in the hands of the man, and the wife can only wait for his mercy and hope that the scales will tip in her direction. Therefore, it is very important to influence the situation yourself.

First of all, you need to believe in yourself, show your husband that you are an individual, with your own desires, needs, character, in the end, and are able to make your own decisions.

This will allow a man to take a fresh look at you, to see in you a person who knows how to manage his life.

But first you need to answer yourself these questions:

• "What I feel?",
• “Which sensations prevail in me: joy or anger, indignation or pain?”

There should be not only resentment, feelings of expectation, anxiety and hope in the soul, but also dissatisfaction with what is happening.

Ask yourself:

• “Am I ready to put up with such things?”
• “Do I deserve this kind of treatment?”
• “How could you do this to me?”

And finally, you need to force yourself to act, to determine how long such uncertainty can last. The created time frame gives confidence and pushes you to take decisive action and the desire to change your life.

Typical female mistakes

Representatives of the fair sex, who learn about the double life of their husbands, often make a lot of mistakes.

Online fortune telling for a rival for free.

The most common are:

• They are interested in the state of the faithful, trying to understand his feelings, what is happening. And often partners are ready to make contact, share their experiences in search of support and sympathy. For a woman, her own emotions fade into the background; the emotional state of the traitor becomes the main thing. This is three times wrong, you shouldn’t dissolve in your husband, you need to show him that you also feel bad, unpleasant, hurt,
• They only blame themselves for everything. Of course, in every family there are quarrels and conflicts. But a man is sometimes no less guilty than his wife. Treason is a conscious choice, so responsibility for what he did lies on his shoulders,
• They allow the husband to talk about his mistress: her appearance, culinary abilities, and allow open telephone conversations. Such humiliation is unacceptable. You need to have self-esteem, pride, be able to stand up for yourself,
• They look for information about their rival, letting her into their lives,
• They try to return the husband to the family at any cost, without thinking at all whether they can forgive the betrayal and move on. But not every woman is ready to resume a relationship with a man who betrayed her,
• They do rash things. Leaving and then returning and forgiving is not the right decision. This puts you in an even more dependent position; the faithful will believe that this will happen in the future, and therefore will not think of stopping.

THIS IS INTERESTING! What men don't cheat? Psychology of relationships.

Are there any faithful men?

Finding out that your husband was with another woman is always unpleasant and painful. But are all representatives of the stronger sex really capable of this? How can you love but cheat on your partner? And is it possible to completely trust a man, even if he has never given any reason to doubt his fidelity?

In fact, there are many representatives of the stronger sex who do not cheat on their ladies.

And among them are these men:

• Loving their women too much
• Monogamous,
• Constantly busy
• Physically unable to change,
• conscientious,
• Unprepossessing, not interesting to anyone,
• Fearful of sexually transmitted diseases.

Representatives of the fair sex whose husbands fall into one of these categories can consider themselves happy and not be afraid of their rivals.

What should you do in this situation? Recommendations

How can a person behave correctly if a love triangle nevertheless arises? How to deal with such a situation so as not to harm your loved ones and yourself. And how to make the right choice - to date one person or continue to lead a double life?

What to do if you love two? What to do if you find yourself in a triangle:

• First of all, you need to decide whether both people are really so dear, or whether without one, life is not possible at all, and without the second, nothing terrible will happen. This can be done in a simple way. You can be alone for the weekend: get out into nature, stay with your parents, rent a hotel room for a day and stay there, and so on. Play out several situations in your head. For example, what happens if the wife/husband finds out and has to separate? How does it feel to lose a loved one? What happens if you break off a relationship with your lover? One can even imagine a tragic option - the death of a person would bring severe pain? It may even turn out that it turns out that neither of the two people is of any interest. Then you should destroy the relationship and start life on a new page, try to avoid past mistakes.
• No one should know about second love, not even close friends. Firstly, condemnation of such behavior may begin. Or a friend may accidentally spill the beans.
• It is worth parting with one/one of two lovers only after rationally weighing all the pros and cons, and not rashly. You can also go into privacy to make a decision.
• If you can’t find a way out of the current situation on your own, you can seek advice from a psychologist. He will listen and help you sort out your feelings.

What does psychology say about those who can love one and live with another?

The psychology of love still remains a sealed mystery for researchers of this extraordinary feeling.
Psychology cannot explain why many “fatal” women for famous men were neither particularly beautiful nor gentle in character. Like, for example, V. Mayakovsky’s fatal muse Lilia Brik.

And what makes hundreds and thousands of men sigh for one woman and at the same time live with others? And can a man love one and live with another? Psychology does not consider this situation to be phenomenal. There are several reasons for this state of affairs, depending on the male psychotype.

"As everybody"

A man receives a decisive refusal from the object of his love, and the psychology of a proud person does not allow him to achieve reciprocity. In order not to vegetate alone, he gets himself a wife or partner and drags out his existence “like everyone else” - with a lifelong internal conflict, secret love and, at the same time, resentment towards women.

“Because you can’t... be beautiful like that”

Almost the same. The man does not even try to tell his beloved about his feelings, because he considers her... too beautiful and inaccessible. Realizing that female beauty requires sacrifice, the man decides not to tempt fate and be content with a less exotic gift - not the most beautiful and not very beloved woman.

"Stupidly drunk"

Young people, intoxicated with youthful passion, often tie themselves with the knot of Hymen. Such daredevils are often provoked by the fact that the beauty turned out to be “too tough” for everyone else, but “showed mercy” to him. Another option is that the girl found herself in an “interesting situation”, and a sense of duty obliged...

Ardent love, like “love” out of a sense of duty, passes over time, the young man meets true love, but does not dare to destroy his family, so he lives with one, and at the same time loves the other.

There are incomparably more life circumstances that force men to live with the wrong women with whom they are in love than the article can accommodate. But in each case, psychology draws attention to the main thing - the psychological immaturity of such men.

Highlight the pros and cons and make the right decision

You can understand the love of two people at once in a simple way. You can write down all the pros and cons of both partners on a piece of paper. Then analyze the list. For example, what would happen if the wife/husband’s negative aspects were removed, then the old love would return. And if she has a mistress, is she worth it to destroy the family?

If, after reviewing the list, it turns out that your feelings for your spouse have simply faded a little (perhaps due to the mundane and routine day after day), then it is better to take the situation into your own hands and bring back your youth with dating and romance. Feelings may return with greater force. But if the test shows that there are no feelings other than affection, but new love is playing with colors, then it is better to try to create a new family, in which perhaps love will be preserved for many years and will not fade. Don't torture yourself and love two people at once. It is better to fully love one person.

On two fronts

Pas-de-trois relationships can develop according to three scenarios.

1. Men don't know about each other . Everyone considers themselves one and only, and a woman has to be Mata Hari and a partisan in one bottle.

You need to skillfully maneuver between the “peaks” of your love triangle and hide the truth with all your might.

Get ready for feelings of guilt, moral torment and doubts - you will have to carry this burden alone. If the threat of exposure looms on the horizon, you urgently need to set priorities and choose one person.

Moreover, cover your tracks so skillfully that the chosen one will never guess about the presence of a competitor.

2. One of them knows about the other . There is no need to hide the presence of a stamp in your passport from your lover.

If he is satisfied with such a relationship, he is unlikely to be jealous that you cook borscht for someone or iron shirts.

It’s another matter if you feed him unrealistic promises of divorce. Life turns into a ball of lies: the husband has to lie in order to escape to a rendezvous, the lover has to swear to assure that they are ready to break family ties.

3. Both are aware . Rare case. This happens if there is a strong spiritual connection between all partners or if it is simple sex without commitment.

Is it possible to have feelings for two different people at the same time? Psychology

Is it possible to love two people at once? There is no consensus on this topic. Psychologists don't have an exact answer. On the one hand, love is strong feelings where there is no place for betrayal. Having a mistress/lover greatly offends the feelings of your significant other. Having met his (real) love, a person usually does not require any more attention.

Often feelings of affection are mistaken for love at face value. And therefore, when meeting a new love, they make a choice in favor of the first. Although love there has long died out and is unlikely to flare up again.

If it turns out that double love has arisen, then it is advisable not to let everything go too far and not allow yourself to become completely confused in your feelings. Privacy and consideration of the situation from the outside is required. Make a decision about who is more valuable with a fresh and calm mind.

Having made your final choice, you should not back down. It's not always easy to end a relationship. At first there will be a feeling of guilt, but if the choice is made correctly, this will soon stop. You shouldn't take anyone's advice. The choice of with whom and how to live further must be made independently.

Love comes in different forms

You can love in different ways, because what kind of emotional attachment there will be depends on the role that the person will occupy. For example, love for a daughter and a wife are completely different things. But if a normal man is unlikely to be able to love his daughter as a wife, then loving his wife as a daughter is no problem. Excessive care, total but gentle control, complete support from the husband.

The spouse responds by demonstrating dependence, weak-willedness, and infantile behavior. There you go. Probably everyone has noticed that we love different people in different ways and sometimes they evoke very different emotions in us. With one girl, the guy feels like a mega-male - passion, fire of desires, walks holding the hand until the morning, and with the other lady - a caring older brother, because this cutie needs help with English, after all, she failed the exam, and she lost her mobile phone, she needs to buy a new one , and twisted my ankle...

Why can love be so different? Often a man cannot fully realize his needs with one girl. Stop! What exact needs are we talking about? It's simple, what matters is how he feels next to his companion.

If a representative of the stronger sex wants to be fascinated by wide-open eyes, like a hero of some movie, but his wife cannot look like that, because they have been together for 10 years, and in general she has never looked at him like that, then this man can easily fall in love with a poor student from the village, take her out for coffee, buy all sorts of things and be more of a friend-father-brother than a partner. But it will be love.

There may not be a fact of betrayal. It's not about sex. The husband will truly love his wife as his only life partner, have sex only with his wife, but will receive emotions of his own importance with a young maiden. Now we come to the most interesting part - is all this cheating?

The origin of feeling

A person learns emotions in the same way as he learns to walk or read. We can say that a child's falling in love with a girl in his group in kindergarten or a neighbor at his desk in second grade is a kind of emotional training that develops the ability to love and teaches ways to show love.

The need to love and be loved is inherent in human nature, but how exactly this need will be realized depends on many factors, both objective and deeply personal, subjective. Here are the traditions that have developed in a certain society, and personal experience, and attitudes received in the family, and an incredible number of different conditions and circumstances. In addition to all this, there are also certain predispositions given from birth. In principle, a large number of different love stories is not considered something “wrong” in society, but it is assumed that in life they occur sequentially, and not in parallel - one love ended (it happens!), I met another (and that’s good!). But loving two people at once seems to be wrong, bad, immoral, etc.

Love has many components: friendship, respect, infatuation, admiration, sexual desire (and compatibility), etc. If all these terms coincide and merge into one, great, this is an ideal option. And if not? Then, most likely, the man will begin to “get” the missing components in his relationship with another woman.

How to be and what to do?

But what is it like for the beloved women of such men? Most often, you will agree, it is not fun. Each woman decides for herself how to get out of this situation. The number of combinations and options is such that a considerable number of volumes will be required to describe and analyze them. How to distinguish a sincere “many lover” from an ordinary “skirt hunter” (the well-known epithets were discussed above)? At first glance, there is not much difference, but this is only at first glance. A loving man, no matter how many girls he has in his heart at the same time, cherishes each of his loves. The last thing he wants is to hurt the woman he loves. This is what distinguishes him from the comfortably seated “couch Casanova,” who, if he is concerned about anything, is only about his own emotional and physical comfort. By the way, most often they are not capable of true love, and not just several at once, but even just one.