With your grandparents, everything was clear: he came to her, said that he loved her, gave her a ring - and that’s all, it’s love. Today, relationships are a complex phenomenon. Girls work equally as men, if not more, have all the rights and love a sense of responsibility.
Does this mean you can confess your love to him first, or will it just ruin everything?
In this article:
Why do you need this? To say or not How to confess your feelings What to do if the confession is not mutual How to survive the loss And if he confesses back?
Do you need to prove your love?
Yes or no? This topic can be debated for a long time. It just all depends on life experience. Some people in life quickly received reciprocity, while others had to withstand the tests of time, achieving the feelings of that person, without whom the sun fades and the ice cream is not sweet.
According to prevailing stereotypes, it is men who must prove their feelings. But representatives of the fairer sex are doomed to remain silent and suffer, in the hope that the guy himself will guess and pay attention.
The only thing is that even the most insightful people have not yet learned to read minds. And if you remain silent about love, then you can “miss” your happiness, as they say, “but love, like a dream, passed by.”
Should you tell a man about your feelings: advice from a psychologist
Have you realized that you are head over heels in love with some man? Keeping your feelings inside is very difficult, so try telling him about them. Today we will discuss whether it is worth doing this and give all the pros and cons. You can choose the most appropriate moment and method of recognition, which will definitely please your soul mate. Here you will find practical advice from a psychologist that will help you not make mistakes in such an important step. You will learn to say these words properly!
Basic methods
There are several love languages. As the hero of the famous movie said: “Saying means more to you than doing.” Yes, some love with their ears, some value time and attention, and for some, gifts are important. After all, a gift is not an easy thing, it means that the person was thinking about you in your absence, which means it is also about love.
Touches, hugs and kisses can tell more than a thousand confessions. “Everyone chooses for themselves,” so it’s important to correctly determine the way to prove to a guy that you love him.
In words
“There are many words on earth...”, why not use them to tell the guy about your feelings.
Men love compliments, they love to be praised. Maybe I should just admit it? But, as experience shows, saying “I love you, what more?” is not always enough.
Not only women, but also men have to deal with deception and betrayal in relationships. And even if they talk less about it, the wound in the soul leaves a deep mark, especially if the deception was from a loved one. That’s why the guy to whom the girl spoke beautiful words, swore fidelity and love, and then betrayed him, does not believe the words. For him they are empty.
It will take time to find the path to the soul of such a person, “whose heart the experience visited and forbade to be forgotten.” And the words addressed to him must be special. “I love you!”, “You are so cool”, “We will always be together” - these phrases will fly past your ears like the wind. You will need something that can truly hook you, prove sincere interest in your partner’s personality. And this can only be noticed by a woman who sees not with her eyes, but with her heart, who is ready to prove her love to a guy.
Read How a girl can become sexy and desirable in the eyes of any man
And to be honest, it’s worth talking about feelings. “I need you”, “I’m waiting for you so much, I miss you so much”, such a manifestation of love can melt even the iciest heart.
By actions
It’s even better to back up your words with actions. Duels and other actions involving the use of physical force, aimed at eliminating competitors and turning the whole world upside down, should be left to the men themselves. Women have their own, less risky ways to prove love.
Delicious coffee prepared according to a “secret recipe”, a favorite dish, even if it requires bird’s milk or a star apple to prepare it. Poster with treats and declaration of feelings. Thanks to such daily “nice” actions, a man begins to understand how kindly you treat him. And it is not necessary to wait for weekends or holidays to show attention; let each of them be filled with you and your care. Then, falling asleep, he will make only one wish - “Let her be in my next day.”
Original ways
And if everything is clear with romance, then we move on. It's good to shake things up a little. You can prove to a guy that you love him not only with care, but also in original ways. And any craziness is welcome. The more unusual the idea, the more it will be remembered. “I’ve never had anything like this before!” — this is the impression the guy should be left with after your surprise. So get creative. What can you offer?
Diving with sharks will probably be too much, you still need to prepare for this, but scuba diving will do. If a guy doesn’t like the underwater world, then you can offer him a hot air balloon flight. You are alone, in an unusual environment, emotions are going wild, your hearts are practically bursting out of your chest, and at that moment you admit that you love.
If he is not a fan of extreme sports, then you can arrange relaxation. A bathhouse with oak brooms, a relaxing massage, a swimming pool, hot tea or cold beer - this is also memorable and tells a man “how she understands me.”
Remember how in school years boys tried to sneak a note with the treasured “I love you!”, So, men also don’t mind receiving such a message. You can leave it in a place where the guy will certainly find the note, but not right away. Maybe he will decide to send you a reply in the same way. The game is captivating, and note that it is only your game.
Dance has always been a frank declaration of love. Even if you don't have any special abilities, you can learn a few moves, choose the appropriate outfit and create the right atmosphere. Music, candles, you... This brings you very close and it is likely that the man will want to join you in the dance.
How to cope with loss
If the feelings are definitely not mutual, give yourself time for sadness and emotions. It's time to buy that very expensive ice cream and turn on the melodrama, or gather your friends for a red dry drink.
Photo by Alex Green: Pexels
Live this moment, and don't try to pretend that you don't care.
When the ice cream or wine is gone, it's time to clean up. Find new hobbies, expand your social circles, go to school or go on a trip alone. Even non-reciprocal love is a huge source of energy that you need to spend on yourself, to become the best version of yourself.
Remember, they didn’t answer you not because you are bad, but because a better fate awaits you, for which you need to prepare yourself. Confessing your feelings yourself is a manifestation of great courage, which many girls can envy.
We prove our love depending on the situation
Situations are different, life generally likes to arrange surprises, so you have to act based on their circumstances.
How to love a man correctly
How to prove love if you are not together
A woman's willingness to wait has always been the surest way to prove her love to a man. They waited at all times: from a campaign, from work involving the risk of life, from the army, from war - “you just knew how to wait like no one else.” Men appreciate this quality when a woman is ready to wait and remain faithful.
At the same time, it is important to maintain contact, be interested in your partner’s affairs, and be proud of him. Even if due to certain circumstances you are not together, this does not mean that you cannot love.
Read 8 effective ways to make a man jealous
Prove love if you are a couple
The times when men climbed through the windows of the women they loved are somehow a thing of the past. In the modern world, the initiative has passed to women. Who is stopping you from using it for a good cause?
You shouldn't climb through the window, but you can appear in those places where the man of your dreams jogs or where he usually drinks coffee on a break. If he is walking his four-legged friend, then show how interested you are in dogs.
Let your presence and communication become necessary for him, like a breath of air. A pleasant conversation, the right advice, a compliment, time in this case works for you. You need to act unobtrusively, it’s not your fault that you live in the next building or like the same coffee, from the same machine.
Fact! People tend to show interest in those who are interested in their personality.
If love is at a distance: how to prove it by correspondence
“Love knows no boundaries and distances, of course, if it is love,” only those who have already passed this test have the right to say. What should you know about long-distance love? It is not simple! Situations where people who have tender feelings for each other are separated by kilometers are not uncommon.
Previously, lovers wrote letters and waited impatiently for the postman. Nowadays there are social networks for communication and you can correspond day and night, that is, there are more opportunities to prove to a guy that I love him.
Important! It is worth considering two points. First, if you don’t know a person in real life, then be careful. Suddenly the object of your love turns out to be not at all who he says he is, maybe he’s not even a man. Don’t rush to trust him with all your secrets, your heart and the keys to your apartment.
And the second point, even with a loved one it is difficult to maintain live communication by correspondence, there is a risk of reducing everything to three phrases: “Hello!”, “How are you?”, “Good night.” Talk about what happened to you, specifically choose significant moments, ask for advice, try to be positive, complaints are tiring, especially if they are heard every day. And don’t forget to praise the man in different forms and remind him of your love.
A man should be sure that you always have time for him, that you are happy to communicate with him, that with you he can relax and smile, even if all day long black cats lined up to cross his path.
How to prove to a guy that I love him via SMS: if he doesn’t answer calls
If a man doesn't answer his calls, then he's either busy or simply ignoring you. Most likely, you know the reason for his behavior. If a person is truly dear to you, then your heart will tell you what words you need to find in order to melt the ice of alienation.
There is no need to write reproaches or offensive messages; it is not the best idea to sort things out via SMS. It is better to fill the messages with tenderness. “With you I’m ready to go to the ends of the world”, “You are the best man in the world”, “I’m behind you like behind a stone wall”, you can allow more intimate content, but not cross the line. When choosing an SMS text, remember that the telephone was invented to make communication closer, and not to break it.
Read How to hint to a guy about sex without losing your feminine dignity
Why do you need it
The main question you have to ask yourself is: what do you get from this recognition?
Photo by Anna Tarazevich: Pexels
The problem with almost all girls is that they only expect reciprocal recognition and a beautiful happy ending. For them, this is a way to get the man they are interested in, transfer responsibility to him and even oblige him to love in return. Of course, all these motives are often unconscious, and the girl feels like the heroine of “Eugene Onegin” by A. S. Pushkin.
Remember: if you even slightly think that it is he who needs recognition, you are mistaken. This is an additional responsibility for a person, the need to somehow change his life, even if he did not want it.
Therefore, the only reason that really exists is that you feel the need to speak out and dot all the i’s.
What not to do: popular mistakes girls make
There is no need to impose. It might just turn people off. “Wherever you look, she’s everywhere.” A man may feel trapped and without the right to choose. And this, oh, how unpleasant. And then he will do everything to escape, that is, the effect will be the opposite of the desired result.
When declaring your love for a man, you should not flirt with other guys. Some girls believe that in this way they can increase their own rating and prove their relevance, but no. This is more likely to alienate your partner than to interest you.
You should not blame him or ridicule him, even if the man is in an awkward situation, especially do this in front of witnesses.
No need to shout. It is interesting that, according to statistics, there are fewer divorces in couples where the woman is not used to speaking in a raised voice.
Don’t take your bad mood out on a man, respect him.
Where to confess
The choice of location is also of great importance, and this includes the setting. This helps a woman relax. Judging by the reviews, many girls achieved excellent results by saying tender words on the river bank or while walking along the lake or in the park. A confession sounds good in a movie theater between the words of loving screen characters or during dinner at a beautifully set table. A large gathering and a noisy evening will not be a hindrance; invite him to a white dance and whisper in his ear what he may have long dreamed of hearing.
It’s not superfluous to beautifully arrange an important moment. If your chosen one is a fan of delicious food, prepare his favorite dish, pour a glass of good wine and start delighting him with warm words.
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In cases where a couple lives under the same roof and has been sharing the same bed for a long time, you can say words of love in the morning, during the earliest and best sex of the day. Get up a little earlier, make coffee or prepare fresh orange juice, tidy yourself up and brush his nose with your curls, whisper the three most popular words in the world.
Experienced ladies share their skills and do not advise “pioneers” to confess to men at moments of particular busyness. It is unlikely that he will appreciate your words while watching an important football match or being in a bad mood.
In what cases is there no need to prove anything?
If you are used, if you are not appreciated, if instead of happiness love brings suffering, if the place is already taken, if you waste yourself and get nothing in return. If you feel internally that everything is in vain.
Love is the invisible threads that connect two people, and if, despite all the efforts and evidence of love, a man continues to stubbornly not notice you and, as Stanislavsky repeats: “I don’t believe it!”, stop and think about whether this is your man, maybe It’s better to let him go to open up space for a new meeting.
