Our World is designed in such a way that every living being strives to love and be loved. Not only people, animals, but also plants love an affectionate, kind attitude. Even water undergoes amazing structural changes if you send it love and gratitude. But only people tend to get confused in their feelings. Often we mistake completely different feelings for love, and then we wonder why the relationship doesn’t work out. How do you understand that you truly love a person and are not experiencing infatuation, addiction, habit or attachment? This article is devoted to this issue and we will try to determine where the true feelings are and where their substitution is.
What is love?
Is it possible to tell in words what “love” or “happiness” is? One will say that this is a chemical reaction of the body, another – a sublime feeling, the third will completely find it difficult to answer, they say, when you fall in love, you will understand!
But it's really difficult to understand. Today, at the sight of your loved one, everything in your soul blossoms, your heart is pounding with joy, and butterflies are fluttering in your stomach. And tomorrow you begin to wonder, is this the person I need? Will I be able to live with him all my life?
So it turns out that at first we are exclusively under the influence of feelings, and then, after a few weeks or months, the voice of reason turns on.
Love means something different for each person, because everyone loves in their own way, depending on their character and emotionality. Some are restrained in their feelings, while others are ready to shout about them to the whole world.
In any case, by love, every person understands something good, unusual, joyful. You meet a person with whom you feel warm and calm, someone you can trust, with whom you want to share your joys and sorrows.
This person in a short time becomes the closest, as if this is a part of you, your soulmate.
What are the feelings for a girl?
What could be simpler than telling her that you love her. This phrase is considered the most correct when expressing one’s feelings, while simultaneously showing how strong they are. But there are other ways of such recognition. Here are the feelings for a girl, and how they can be expressed in words:
- I'm so lucky to have met you!
- I really like your gentle hands.
- I adore your flexible nature, etc.
These various statements express love for precisely those features of the partner that cause certain feelings of euphoria. It's always nice for your partner to hear how important he is to you. You should definitely tell your girl how much positivity she brings to your life cycle. By this you show how valuable, loved and necessary she is to you.
Signs of love
True love is manifested in actions and deeds, not in words.
Love is:
- constant care;
- desire not to cause pain;
- unlimited trust;
- spiritual intimacy;
- mutual respect;
- sacrifice, willingness to do anything for the sake of your loved one;
- the ability to let go of your loved one, as long as he is happy;
- the ability to put his interests above your own;
- the desire to become better next to him, self-improvement;
- readiness to come to the rescue, to be with your loved one not only in joy, but also in sorrow.
What are the feelings for a painting?
It is human nature not only to perceive the environment, but also to influence it. All the phenomena occurring around us and the objects located attract our attention with an individual attitude.
So what feelings does a person have when performing certain actions? For example, when communicating with friends, reading a book, listening to a piece of music... The answer is obvious: at this time a person can be happy or sad, inspired or upset. The expression of feelings towards painting occurs in the same way.
Love or affection - how to tell the difference?
How do you understand whether you love a person or is it just affection?
Love at first sight is a feeling as rare as falling snow on a hot July day. At first sight, you can fall in love, feel physical attraction, a soul mate, but a mature and conscious feeling comes later.
How to understand your own emotions? How is affection different from love? Let's look for the difference.
When two people date for a long time, they certainly become attached to each other. You begin to miss your loved one when he is away. You miss his hugs, his smell, his jokes, his sweet habits. But how do you understand whether you love a person or is it a habit, dependence on another person?
Attachment is very easy to confuse with love. But there is still a significant difference between them. A dependent person acts forcedly, out of fear of losing his soul mate. He restrains his real emotions, tries to guess the desires of his chosen one.
Photo: https://pixabay.com/photos/love-valentine-heart-in-love-3061483/
Affection always goes hand in hand with:
- financial dependence;
- fear of loneliness;
- feelings of guilt or gratitude;
- responsibility for your chosen one.
But love is a selfless feeling, self-sufficient. They love not for something, but in spite of everything.
Sexual relationships will help you understand that this is a habit and not love. If you are with a person out of habit, then the passion will gradually subside, and you will get headaches more and more often. Whereas a real feeling gives pleasure from intimacy, the desire to dissolve in a loved one, to give him all of yourself.
About feelings between a man and a woman
It is not difficult to say what feelings there are between a man and a woman, for example, love. But sometimes it is questioned, since someone else may appear between them.
Or maybe just friendship, but this is more often the case when a woman looks like a man, and they cannot like each other. But this barrier can sometimes be removed by the amount of alcohol you drink.
Sometimes in a relationship everything is confusing to such an extent that it’s not easy to figure it out on your own. It can be just love or just dislike, and this does not interfere with living together. In the process of this, there may be an accumulation of aggressive emotions characteristic of this pair of people who at a certain period of time were in love with each other, and then, by some chance, the feelings faded away, leaving only the bitterness of memories.
In most cases, when you ask a woman what caused her unsuccessful marriage, you will always hear the same statements:
- Why did I have to marry him?
- I killed the best years of my life, etc.
But when a man is a true gentleman, he will try to assure her that these were some of the best years of their life together.
Love or friendship - how to determine?
In fact, a strong and good friendship always develops between lovers.
There is no better friend than a loved one, with whom you can trust and confide, with whom you can do everything together, with whom it is easy, warm and comfortable. Friendship is a new level of love, when hormones calm down, and euphoria is replaced by mutual assistance, a conscious readiness to throw yourself into fire and water after your loved one, the desire to share everything between two.
Psychologists say that if lovers become faithful and reliable friends, then together they can move mountains, they can survive all the hardships, they can share happiness and misfortune in half.
But what if a guy and a girl are just friends? Is it possible to confuse friendship with love? Of course not. Yes, these people are very close mentally, but there is no physical attraction between them. And at the same time, each of them has some secrets that are difficult to entrust to a stranger.
How do you know if you love a person?
Photo: https://pixabay.com/photos/romantic-hug-togetherness-embrace-1934223/
Advice from psychologists will help you find the answer to this difficult question.
Method 1: Test
There are many long and tedious tests that help determine whether you are in love. We offer a short rapid test that only takes a few minutes to complete.
Please answer the following questions as honestly as possible:
- Do you think about your partner before going to bed?
- Are you trying to make your loved one happy?
- Do you feel protected and calm when you are around him?
- Do you feel positive emotions when you think about your loved one?
- Do you think that your chosen one is the best in the world?
- Does separation or long separation scare you?
- Do you accept your loved one as he is, with all his shortcomings?
If you answered yes to all the questions, then you can rest assured – this is love. But if you have doubts or gave a negative answer, then this is already an alarm bell and a reason to think about your relationship.
Method 2: Pros and cons
How do you know if you truly love a person? We suggest you use a popular psychological technique - take a sheet of paper, divide it into two columns and write all the pros and cons of your chosen one.
Write its advantages in one column, and its disadvantages in the other. Have you written? Now look, which column has more points? Do disadvantages predominate? Then it's definitely not love. They don't annoy you yet, but you've noticed them. This means that over time they can turn into a reason for scandals and insults.
Are there many more advantages? Does this only confirm your love and good attitude towards your partner?
Only advantages? Think about it, are you idealizing your chosen one?
Method 3: “He’s no longer there”
Photo: https://pixabay.com/photos/girl-sadness-cold-winter-snow-1147401/
How do you know if you still love a person? We offer you a somewhat cruel, but quite effective technique.
Imagine that your chosen one is no longer there. What do you feel? Fear of loss, emptiness in the soul, hopelessness, loss? If yes, then this is true love.
Well, if you feel the strength to live without him, if you are not afraid of loss or separation, then there is no smell of high feelings here.
Method 4. Meditation
How do you understand that you love a person? Try to meditate, immerse yourself and sort out your feelings.
Turn off your phone and make sure there are no distractions. Sit comfortably in a chair or on the sofa. It is not necessary to take the “lotus” position; sit or lie down so that you are comfortable.
Focus on your breathing, don't think about other things. Imagine something good - the sea, a sunny lawn, mountains. Now think about your loved one, imagine him. What do you feel? Joy, the desire to hug, to be close to him? You love!
Or do you feel indifferent? Or maybe even worse - hostility or fear? Then your chosen one is definitely not the one you need.
Useful tips
How do you understand whether you love a person or not? Are your feelings and emotions real? What to do if you have doubts? Well, you’ll have to come down to earth, take off your rose-colored glasses and assess the situation impartially. Try to look at your relationship from the outside.
To do this, ask yourself a few questions. Just answer honestly, no need to deceive yourself.
- Are you ready to accept your chosen one if he is as poor as a church mouse? Love is a selfless feeling, which means that you should not seek benefits from your relationship.
- Are you sexually attracted to your partner or are platonic relationships enough for you? True love is the desire to possess and surrender, as if dissolving in your soulmate. Love without sex does not exist a priori. And naturally, we are talking about physical love here.
- Do you accept your chosen one as he is, with all his advantages and disadvantages? Are you ready to put up with his habits and quirks? Remember, it is impossible to change a person, no matter how hard you try. For a while, in order to please, he will do as you like, but sooner or later nature will take its toll.
- Can you trust your loved one with your most intimate things? Open your soul to him? Confess to some bad deeds? Share with him both joy and sorrow? After all, the ability to trust is one of the most important signs of love.
- Can you forgive if someone you care about confesses to something terrible? Or will you turn your back on him forever? If the need arises, will you take the blame of your loved one upon yourself in order to save him? Are you ready to sacrifice yourself?
Well, after you answer all the questions and understand your feelings, try to answer them, but from the side of your chosen one. This way you can determine if he loves you.
