Hatred towards men: the psychology of relationships between men and women

It is quite natural to feel hostility towards someone, especially if they have offended you in some way. But sometimes hatred extends not to one person, but to a category of people. This also includes misandry - hatred of men. Some women may rashly say: “I hate a man!” This is not necessarily misandry. Sometimes someone can generalize their attitude towards a person or a specific situation in this way. Hatred is a feeling of enmity and hostility that a person experiences for a long time.

On the one hand, it is reasonable to assume that absolutely all the men in the world could not offend one person. However, some women experience strong hostility towards all members of the opposite sex. How to deal with this? First you need to learn more about the possible reasons for this feeling.

Psychological aspect

To some, women’s hatred of men may seem incomprehensible and unnatural. Psychology provides a completely logical explanation for this phenomenon. It has historical and even genetic roots. With the exception of those cultures where matriarchy reigned, women have always been in the shadow of men. Her rights were oppressed in every possible way. Her lot was raising children and running a household. Despite the fact that women have had equal rights with men for quite a long period of time, genetic memory makes itself felt. Just as some men see themselves as in charge, some women see themselves as oppressed. This is the primary reason for hatred and confrontation between the sexes.

Look for the reason in the father

Women's hatred of men is often formed in childhood. As practice shows, girls who are lucky enough to have a good and caring father easily build relationships with the opposite sex. They have some inner feeling of security. Such women associate a man with love, care, and protection. Moreover, they do not perceive failures and disappointments so painfully, because they are sure that there are worthy men in the world who are like their fathers. “I hate men,” most often say women who have difficult family relationships. Perhaps from childhood they observed scandals, male cruelty, alcohol abuse and other troubles. Negative experiences also shape the father’s departure from the family. It would seem that all this happened in childhood and should not interfere with adult life. But it is at this age that a worldview is formed that determines relationships with others. The woman subconsciously begins to fear a repetition of the scenario.

Someone else's experience

Hatred of men is often biased. Women have a bad habit of trying on other people's experiences. During the gatherings, the “bitter female lot” is discussed in detail. Having heard a lot from friends, colleagues, relatives and just strangers about betrayal, bullying, deception, girls cultivate a sense of confidence that all men are the same. “If everyone faces difficulties, then why am I better?” This is a huge misconception.

Yes, people love to talk about problems. But this does not mean that they are all unhappy in their family life. Probably, it is customary to remain silent about happiness, not because it does not exist, but because women are afraid to jinx it. In addition, the fate of each person is unique and inimitable.

Own negative experience

It happens that you come across a rotten apple or an expired chocolate bar, and you experience hostility and disgust for this product for a long time. Sometimes hatred of men is formed according to the same principle. Young girls and quite mature women often fall in love with the “wrong” men. Having received a negative experience, they begin to hate other males. Unfortunately, this is a fairly common phenomenon, from which not only the ladies themselves suffer, but also their gentlemen, who receive a negative answer.

High expectations

A woman says she hates men because they don't live up to her expectations. Perhaps, from adolescence, the fair half of humanity develops a certain idea of an ideal life partner. Sometimes this is a collective image that consists of heroes of novels and TV series, celebrities and businessmen. Trying the given parameters on others, you find out that there are no ideal ones. As a result, disappointment and hatred gradually mature in a woman - a bad feeling that does not allow her to live normally and enjoy a romantic relationship.

Story one. Valyukha

Valya is a thin, tall brunette. A well-read intellectual, slightly out of this world. Valyukha hates men for ideological reasons: he considers them stupid animals. They live, they say, by instincts alone: they just want to eat, and even this very thing, it’s a simple matter...

As soon as she meets someone, the guy first goes to a restaurant and tries to drag her into bed that same evening. You might think that every woman has it written right on her forehead: “I’ll give myself for a meatball.”

Keep your pocket wider, you've attacked the wrong one! For her fees, Valyukha herself can open a couple of shelters for the homeless, with free lunches. The approach to her will be more difficult: first, tell me why you even live in the world, you miracle pea? Has anyone felt better because you have been trampling this land for so many years?

By the way, Man - this should sound proud. Doesn't it sound? Then past the cash register, my friend. And everyone can eat and reproduce: both a bug and a spider. You don't need a lot of intelligence here.

In short, Valyukha already has a gag reflex for all this. For a long time she was looking for a Man in a man - so that his thoughts were a little above the belt and his feelings were romantic. I never found it. Apparently, they are a dead-end branch of evolution. She spat.

From love to hate one step…

If a woman has never had any prejudices, prejudices and fears towards men, this does not mean that relationships with the opposite sex will develop smoothly. It’s not for nothing that they say that from love to hate there is only one step. Even the strongest relationships can crack, and a woman may develop a feeling of hatred towards the person who was her most beloved yesterday. The reasons for this may be the following:

A man's denial of female dignity. This can manifest itself in numerous infidelities that a man does not even try to hide. Another humiliating situation is comparison with previous partners. Having heard that the ex was better in bed, in the kitchen, and even outwardly won, not a single lady will be able to maintain tender feelings for her husband.
Physical and mental violence. At the stage of courtship and building relationships, men are usually gallant and caring. Nevertheless, as people begin to build a common life and get used to each other, a person can show himself completely differently. So, if during domestic quarrels a man begins to use force to prove that he is right, it is difficult to maintain love for him. Also, manifestations of rudeness and aggression can migrate into intimate life.
If a man attaches too much importance to other people's opinions, this will soon negatively affect the relationship. If he consults in everything with friends, colleagues, relatives, and not with his wife, this will certainly become a reason for hostility.
The phrase “I hate you” is often said to their husbands by those women whom they are trying to force into rigid boundaries. If a representative of the stronger sex forces his wife to dress, talk, and behave in such a way that her friends or relatives will like her, this is already an unhealthy relationship. The woman will either lose her individuality or begin to accumulate anger towards her husband.
Fortunately, there are quite a lot of such examples when a man retains all his positive qualities during family life. But here, too, there can be a place for hatred on the part of a woman. The reason most often is new love or a man you like. Then all the virtues of the spouse begin to literally irritate. In this case, you need to give yourself time. Either the new feelings will dissipate and everything will return to its place, or the only way out will be separation.
Excessive workload is another reason to treat your spouse negatively. Cooking, cleaning, caring for children, dacha chores - all this and much more falls on women’s shoulders. It does not matter whether the woman works or the role of breadwinner lies with the husband. Without a single minute of free time to spend on herself, the woman begins to quietly hate her husband, who refuses to take on even a small part of the household chores.

Manifestations

Women suffering from misandry do not always avoid communicating with men. But often their line of behavior indicates a lack of trust in them. This can manifest itself in the desire to control and control the guy’s every step.

In addition, misandry can manifest itself in ridicule, rudeness, and simply unsightly behavior. Sometimes women look for a reason to accuse a man of something or provoke him to be rude.

Very often this attitude is passed on to children. They become withdrawn, distrustful or rude. They find it difficult to find their place in society and feel rejected.

I hate my husband - what should I do?

Most romantic films and books about love end with a wedding. But, as practice shows, in real life, after marriage, a completely new period begins with its own subtleties and difficulties. Quite suddenly, a woman may admit to herself: “I hate my husband.” What to do? Psychologists give the following recommendations:

First you need to calm down and carefully analyze the situation. You have to understand, is hatred a feeling or an emotion? It is quite possible that this is some kind of cloudiness caused by a strong quarrel or misdeed of the spouse. Rest, relax, and everything will pass. If hatred runs like a red thread through your relationship and has no specific reason, most likely the union cannot be saved.
Imagine that tomorrow you will get divorced and continue your life without your spouse. Moreover, you will never see him again. How do you like this prospect? If you feel fear, melancholy and even panic, urgently make peace with your husband and try to find a way out of the situation together. If such fantasies bring you peace and relief, then your union has outlived its usefulness.
Learn to forgive. Hatred is a bad feeling that destroys a person from the inside. Think about whether your spouse’s misdeeds are so serious that you should be angry with him? Divide a piece of paper into two parts and write down all the faults and good deeds of your lover. Perhaps the positive qualities will outweigh.
Don't look for flaws in your spouse. Pay attention only to his positive qualities (namely, what made you love him). If there are negative traits that you cannot come to terms with, try to solve the problem together rather than reproach your lover.
Learn to discuss problems. The longer you remain silent, the more resentment and hatred will accumulate in your soul. In this case, the dialogue should be conducted gently, giving the spouse the opportunity to express his point of view. If you take this practice as a rule, then you will forget about family scandals, because all disagreements will be resolved through constructive dialogue.
Do not hurry. If you give in to a momentary impulse, you can make an irreparable mistake. It is better to give each other a little time for reconciliation than to regret a premature break in the relationship.

Need some advice? Write your story Hello. I decided to contact you because I don’t know what to do anymore. I asked for help from various people I knew. I got the feeling that no one really cared about my problems. That they are not worth a single drop of their precious attention, although the problem, in my opinion, is extremely serious. By the way, when people talk to me, I feel that they consider me a painted fool. Yes, I’m blonde, but that’s not a reason to classify me in advance as weak-minded, is it? I'm a third-year law student at university and I don't consider myself stupid. I graduated from school with honors and a gold medal. We can talk a lot about the events that happened to me during my school and adult life, however, I would like to return to the present. I am haunted by an incident that happened to me six months ago. I had a boyfriend before that time. His name is Dima, now he left me and is in a relationship with my classmate. However, it doesn't matter. One day I was returning from university. I left class at about six o'clock and, on the way home, I met an old friend of mine, whom I had known since childhood. She hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and we went to her house. I was very happy to see her after several years of separation. Just imagine, she was my best friend, and she was taken to Moscow to study. For some reason she didn't communicate with me. I thought that I was somehow to blame for her. But, realizing that I didn’t say anything bad to her, I decided that she just found herself another girlfriend, communicates with her and she doesn’t care about me. I was very offended by her. True, when we met, I forgot all this. We drank tea and cakes at her place and had a nice conversation. She said that she had completed four courses of study by correspondence and was leaving back in a few days, but wanted to meet with me. I was very pleased. We looked at old photos, remembered our past life, and my mood lifted greatly (Dima left me that day, I felt deeply lost and worthless!). We said goodbye tenderly and I went home. I went by bus, but it stalled on the way, and, as it turned out, unfortunately, I had to walk. In general, I’m not the ugliest girl. I had a wonderful figure then. And I was attacked when I decided to walk down the alley. They took my purse: there was a record book and other personal belongings, including a passport and a mobile phone. I was without heels, so I ran after the thief. I wasn't scared. I just wanted to take my personal belongings back. But, as it turned out, that thief had an accomplice. He caught me at the exit of the alley and punched me in the face. He threw me to the ground and wanted to rape me. I tried to fight back, but it didn't help. I don't know how I managed to escape from him. I ran out of the alley closer to the light and people so that he wouldn’t chase me. He only managed to tear my clothes. I returned home, my keys, thank God, were in my pocket. I called the police and reported the theft. A week later the thief was found and my things were returned to me. But I replayed that very day in my mind. Here I had this very turning point in my consciousness. The fact is that I developed a complete dislike for men. Either I’m paranoid or I’m very impressionable, although I consider myself not weak and easily suggestible, but I didn’t even want and still don’t want to communicate with guys. Everyone, it seemed to me, wanted to encroach on my virginity. Every touch gave me an uneasy feeling. Then, I remembered my friend, who carried our friendship through several years and kept it intact. Every day since then I asked myself the question “Maybe this is what love should be?” Yes, you understand me correctly. I'm faced with the problem of choosing an orientation. There was some kind of shift in me and guys suddenly became uninteresting to me. But I began to pay attention to the girls. I began to like their conversations, bodies, breasts, femininity. I let myself go from then on. There is a feeling in my soul that no one needs me and there is no one to try for. I have gained more than 7 kilograms of weight and the excess is visible in some places. I even had to partially change my wardrobe. True, since January I began to feel that I wanted to please some girl, that I wanted beautiful and pure love from her. This is where I want to ask you for advice. Should I continue to follow my heart, or overcome my fear of guys and return to the life I had before, following the canons of society about the inviolability of foundations. Thank you in advance, Victoria Mironova Rate:

Victoria Mironova, age: 21 / 02/21/2012
Responses:
Good afternoon Vika, there are two options: 1) either you were a closet lesbian, then you are unlikely to change anything, 2) or you are simply afraid of guys, relationships with them, in including sexual ones. In the second case, it is better for you to consult a psychologist, since you have experienced violence against yourself, and for sure, a change in orientation is not the only consequence of this. I sincerely wish you to sort out the situation.

Oleg, age: 22 / 02/22/2012

Victoria, the sad thing about your story is that homosexual relationships seem to you to be the norm, and not a perversion. Think about it: would there be life on Earth if homosexuality prevailed? Homosexuality is not a form of life, it is the existence of carefree dependents for the sake of obtaining perverted pleasure. Why existence? And what kind of life can same-sex individuals of homo sapiens reproduce? Yes, none. You were born a woman, so realize yourself as a woman: a wife and mother, and not a sexual partner with an imaginary half. Do not look for easy paths with pleasures in life - this is the path to nowhere, to death. The fact that breaking up with your boyfriend and the violence you experienced on the same day could have caused you a physical and mental aversion to men is a fact confirmed in psychology. But this does not mean that that turning point in consciousness, as you write, is not a disease, or is self-medication of the experience. It can serve as an excuse for you in front of people. Why don’t you turn to a psychologist, but only to your friends? Victoria, only a good Orthodox psychologist can help you. Contact the church, they will help you. From time immemorial, the Orthodox Church has been our spiritual healer, what you see in the church during the service is just the tip of the iceberg. Here on the sites “Perezhit.ru” there are also good psychologists, including priests, contact them. God bless you.

Vladimir, age: 39 / 02/23/2012

Dear Vika, have you consulted a psychologist? Be sure to do this! After all, your reaction today is of a defensive nature. You were greatly frightened by a man, and you naturally put a barrier to a relationship with them. This is post-traumatic syndrome. The situation with the robbery and attempted rape should be examined together with a psychologist or psychotherapist. You didn't have any rehabilitation at all! Do this now, and then everything will become clear by itself, who you need, so to speak.

Laura, age: 30 / 02/23/2012

And also, if possible, “following up” on my previous message. Vika, the fact that other people don’t understand you only means that you approached the wrong people. I don't mean that these people are bad or stupid or that they don't care about you. It’s just that in your situation you need to turn to professionals (a psychologist or psychotherapist). Don't associate these doctors with something terrible, terrible. Now there are good private clinics where highly qualified doctors provide consultations. And they will help you there. By the way, sudden weight gain, as well as sudden weight loss (anorexia) is also a syndrome of problems with nerves.

Laura is also smart and also blonde))), age: 30 / 02/23/2012

After reading your story, you are surprised how easily we can get out of the water and into the fire. Just because you met a scoundrel on the way, you should not reject everything given to you from above. The opportunity to become someone's wife, mother. Don’t ruin your worldview, don’t hurt yourself, read on this site about the causes of homosexuality. This is a denial of one’s own nature, a distortion of nature, insubordination, if you like. You had to pass this exam (attack), but somehow you refuse to take it. Are boys bad, girls are good? Upon closer examination, we are all good when we sleep with our teeth against the wall. Therefore, Victoria, you are thinking in the wrong direction and in the wrong direction, this direction of your thoughts will do much worse things to you than your attacker. Beware.

Irina, age: 42 / 02/24/2012

Hello, Vika. After reading your story I couldn’t remain indifferent. Look at your problem from the outside, so if you heard this story from your fellow students, that this happened to someone, but not to you. You sit and listen, yes, this is, to put it mildly, not a pleasant story, I feel sorry for the girl, but you can survive this? You are a strong person, and a strong person always struggles with circumstances, do you agree with me? Look at your ex-boyfriend, is he good, is he ideal, does he have any flaws? Look closely and you'll find a bunch. Maybe he is to blame for your breakup, or maybe you are too, or are you not on the right path in this life? The point is not this, is it worth it to leave the correct, healthy human position, succumb and find solace in deception as a weak and weak-willed person? Is he worth it? Was it a man who robbed you in an alley or a weak person who only learned to take from those who are physically superior? Is it worth it to become like him and look for easy ways in this life? What do you think? Is that abomination that tried to rape you worthy of being called a man? No. Only the weakest and most fallen are capable of this. Taking a girl by force is like plunging a knife into your mother's chest. Sorry for the harsh comparison, but nothing else comes to mind. Vika, you are a strong person, do not allow yourself to stand on a par with these bandits. Don’t let yourself be deceived; how can unnatural relationships be called pure love? Realize yourself as a woman, because you are not stupid and not bad-looking, you deserve a real man in this life, do not lose faith that you will meet him, because in fact there are many of them. I wish you happiness and I’m sure you know how to achieve it)

Nikodim, age: 21/26/02/2012

I think you have no one to talk to now - you used to trust everything to a guy who had gone somewhere else, and to a now distant friend... and now there is no one to tell all this... Strangers at the institute where you study judge you by your appearance (You wrote about the attitude towards the “blonde”) and it is hardly possible to build friendship with them. But here’s the thing—you, probably. monogamous Find yourself a trusted friend, tell him or her everything. This is right. When your friend encouraged, it became easier. But then - what happened? He asked for a closer relationship, and the relationship fell apart?.. If so, then isn’t it now that your actions are kind of proactive - you’re trying to find a new trusted friend to whom you could tell everything, but immediately through sex? That is, give the first girl you meet something that will connect you - kisses, hugs, in order to reach the same level of relationship with her that you had with the first guy (who is now with another)? Think - maybe you need a friend who is close in spirit? Who can you tell everything to? As for this terrible incident, I can say that I understand you. Because I had a similar story, but no one around me said a word of encouragement. The girls I talked to seemed suspiciously easy about such disgusting behavior; after telling them once, I realized that this was not something worth sharing with them - they weren’t even worried. Men are generally a sad story. For example, after reading Vladimir’s message below, I thought, why is he giving such advice here? What he wrote simply shows the attitude of many “unfriends” with whom you are simply forbidden to communicate! (Quote from his answer: “a turning point in consciousness... It can serve as an excuse for you in front of people.” What excuse? Are you to blame for what happened? In no case - No!!!) And as for the inviolability of foundations - that’s all, really in fact, the right things, lived through the experience of other people. Lesbian relationships are more likely to lead to complete disappointment than a regular family. All the advantages of a lesbian relationship, I think, are strong friendships, but you can find a girlfriend. Although you need to search a little... Please live more carefully. The most important thing is that you have close people who can help you get through this. If you suddenly feel sad, write to me.

Tanya, age: 25 / 02/26/2012

Sorry, I’m clarifying my statement to Victoria in response to the remark in Tanya’s response 25. Victoria’s phrase “... I had this very change in consciousness” could, in my opinion, be used by her to justify her homosexual inclinations to others. No more. Of course, I could be wrong, but not in my attitude towards homosexuality, and I conveyed it accurately. And I apologize to Victoria for the rudeness of my statement.

Vladimir, age: 39 / 02/27/2012

You are simply afraid that you will be abandoned. Do not be afraid.

Lulu, age: 25 / 03/03/2012

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Is it worth living in an atmosphere of tension and hatred?

If you have ever told your man: “I hate you!” - this is not just a release of emotions. This means that this feeling has been living in you for a long time. This is evidence of a relationship crisis, from which it is not always possible to find a way out. As a rule, in such situations, spouses try to give their relationship a second life, breathing more romance into it. As a rule, these are joint romantic trips, trips to restaurants and other pleasant things that you can do together. But, unfortunately, resentment and hatred towards the man persists, despite all efforts. At this moment, you need to answer the question of whether it is worth continuing to live in an atmosphere of tension and hatred. Think about the motives that make you continue to try to maintain such a relationship? Children, money, a comfortable life, habit - all these factors are not worth spending your life on such a union? Perhaps separation will be the only way out that will bring you peace and give you a chance for personal happiness.

How to treat sexual disgust

Treatment of sexual disgust is carried out with the help of a sexologist and psychotherapist. Communication with a specialist will allow you to get to the bottom of the truth. Having learned the cause of sexual hostility, a detailed plan will be developed aimed at getting rid of the psychological problem. This is a disorder that needs to be dealt with.

As a treatment for sexual disgust, medications can be used, the effect of which is aimed at reducing feelings of anxiety and phobia factors. A frank conversation between partners is also important. Sincere communication allows us to look at things that bother us from a different angle. Couples psychological therapy will be beneficial.

Sexual disgust in women can manifest itself both at the beginning of a relationship and over a longer period. Girls experience anxiety, fear, anger. The process of treating this sexual disorder can be accelerated if you enter into a dialogue with a specialist and help him find the true cause. Remember to maintain a genuine connection with your partner. Constantly discuss intimate problems that bother you, which will help break down the wall of misunderstanding.

A bit of female experience

How often do women say the word “hate”? Former, present and completely strangers men. Representatives of the fair sex explain their dislike for the opposite sex as follows:

the man opens his arms, not embarrassed by the presence of children;
the husband brings the woman to hysterics and nervous breakdowns when they are alone, but in public he tries to seem like an ideal family man;
the husband does not respect women’s work (lying on the sofa in front of the TV while the wife is knocked down trying to keep the house in order);
if, despite the many concessions that the wife makes to her spouse, he continues to be a tyrant, you need to leave him without fear of becoming a single mother;
a man humiliates a woman based on her gender, considering her an inferior being;
a man blames his wife for all his failures and shortcomings;
he doesn’t do anything in the house (he doesn’t care about repairs, old plumbing, broken sockets);
the man speculates on the financial issue and the fact that the woman is financially dependent on him;
he cheats without even trying to hide it (moreover, love affairs are considered a source of pride);
after entering into family life, a man ceases to treat a woman with the former trepidation and respect, does not give her gifts, does not take her out into the world, does not pay attention;
shows cruelty towards children.

How to forgive your ex and stop hating him

How to get rid of hatred towards men? If this feeling is caused by resentment against your ex, you need, as one well-known song says, “forgive and let go.” On the way to this goal you will have to take the following steps:

Understand the reasons for your hatred. If you're having a hard time, put your grievances against your ex in writing. Add to each point by describing your feelings. This will help throw out negative emotions and ease your state of mind.
Remember what expectations and dreams you had with your ex. Have they all come true? Mentally thank him for everything that has come true. And make those desires that remain unfulfilled the goal of a further fulfilling life.
Try to understand his motivation. Put yourself in your ex's shoes and mentally replay in your head all the critical moments of your relationship. It is quite possible that you will not find excuses for his behavior, but at least partially you will be able to understand.
Forgive yourself. Your hatred of your ex is not only resentment for unjustified expectations, but also the fear of repeating the scenario. Forgive yourself for this weakness and allow yourself to live a new free life.
Check yourself. Imagine that you met your ex on the street or in the company of friends. Will you be able to talk to him as if there were no grudges or hatred? If yes, then you are ready for a new life full of bright sensations and romantic feelings.
When things calm down, be sure to talk to your ex. Tell him about all the experiences that haunted you during your life together and after breaking up. Ask him for the same frankness. Perhaps this conversation will be a good lesson for both of you, which will save you from mistakes in future relationships.
Conduct a final self-analysis. Perhaps you have experienced conflict situations similar to those that arose with your ex before. Let this become science for you for the future. Never repeat previous mistakes or allow similar scenarios to happen again.

Ways to combat misandry

Misandry is a disease. It ruins a woman's quality of life. It is important to recognize the problem and consult a doctor at the first symptoms. Now there are specialized centers for providing psychological assistance. To treat misandry, scientific methods of behavioral (behavioral) and cognitive psychotherapy are used.

Behavioral psychotherapy

The use of behavioral psychotherapy does not involve the patient describing his feelings and emotions. On the contrary, in this treatment the emphasis is on minimal penetration into the internal state of the individual. Therapy is carried out according to the following scheme:

Functional analysis. During the appointment, the doctor asks a series of questions that will help conduct a behavior analysis. They are compiled by a psychologist based on the essence of the patient’s problem. Sometimes the initial assessment stage takes from one to six months.
Implementation. From this moment the training of implemented behavioral skills begins. The patient, who has answered the questions himself and identified the problem, begins to artificially incorporate skills into everyday life that can change the philosophy of his behavior. For example, a girl always fell into a state of hysteria when communicating with a man. While working through this problem, at a moment close to a breakdown, she forces herself to stop and continue communication in a calm tone.
Completion. Therapy is considered successful and can be completed when a balanced conversation without panic and screaming becomes the norm for the patient. She no longer makes efforts to smooth out the situation. Everything happens by itself.

After behavioral therapy, the patient becomes his own psychologist. In the process of treatment, he studies his reactions to irrational behavior. By returning to the plan that was drawn up during therapy, a person can independently cope with the problem.

Cognitive therapy

With this type of therapy, attention is paid to the patient’s internal state, his desires and thoughts. Treatment involves communication with a psychologist.

The main goals of cognitive therapy are to understand the influence of the patient’s thoughts on behavior and emotions. You need to identify negative thoughts that are out of control and observe them. Psychotherapy is carried out in several stages:

Diary of thoughts. In the first stage, the patient independently writes down his thoughts and worries. This helps him track what he thinks about most often during the day. Based on these notes, the doctor makes a list of negative thoughts.
Distance. The patient, together with the doctor, determines that a particular thought causes a negative impact on the internal state. Also, all the pros and cons of this idea are presented on paper and its reassessment is carried out.
Replacement. This stage of therapy is considered final. This is where negative emotions are replaced with positive ones. The patient is asked not to return to irrational thoughts and change his attitude towards what happened. For example, if a person suffered a difficult childhood, they find positive aspects in this, namely: “It was a school of life, I became emotionally resistant to pain, and every hour my psyche becomes stronger.”
Action plan. Compiled after completion of therapy. It will help to overcome oneself if destructive thoughts begin to return to the patient.

To achieve quick and high-quality results, behavioral and cognitive therapies are carried out together.

Men hate too

The strongest feeling is hatred. It can destroy even the most sincere love and ardent passion. Sometimes the hatred between the sexes is mutual. One flow of negative energy provokes a counter flow. Thus, counting on mutual understanding with the opposite sex, it is worth knowing why a man might hate his woman:

Excessive passion and initiative. Ardent caresses, as in films for adults, are actually not always pleasant for a man. This should be a rare exception, not a tradition. Still, the stronger sex wants to take the initiative and not obey.
Manipulation of intimacy not only irritates men, but literally drives them crazy. First of all, this does not apply to single people as much as to married people. If a woman, at the slightest disagreement, “takes revenge” by lack of intimacy, this is a direct path to mutual hatred.
Most men hate women who pretend to be touchy and shy. Of course, we are not talking about throwing ourselves on the necks of representatives of the stronger sex at the first meeting. But if the relationship has reached a more serious stage, the behavior of a “nun” or “bluestocking” can simply offend a man and even form complexes in him.
Men cannot stand women who are biased towards the stronger sex, believing that they only have “one thing” on their minds. This is a kind of humiliation and an accusation of narrow-mindedness. Thinking about men in this way, you can hardly count on a respectful and reverent attitude towards yourself.
Men hate women who shift the entire burden of responsibility for their joint happiness and well-being onto them. These are some kind of “princess and a pea” who expect active actions from their lover, without taking any steps towards them.
Men don't like women who are insecure about their appearance. Have you noticed that self-critical beauties are less likely to be happy in their personal lives than self-confident ladies, whom nature has not awarded such outstanding data? If you don’t love yourself and constantly focus on your flaws, a man will sooner or later believe in your “unattractiveness.”
Another factor of hatred is the refusal to take care of yourself some time after the start of a relationship. Many ladies, thinking that they have already got a man, relax. They stop wearing beautiful lingerie and feminine clothes. Moreover, they allow themselves to walk around with unwashed hair and unkempt nails. Naturally, a man does not want to be with such a woman, which is why mutual resentment and hatred arise.
Like ladies, men carry over their attitude towards the opposite sex from childhood. If he had a problematic relationship with his mother, some other relative, or even a school teacher, most likely he will harbor a grudge against the entire fair sex.

Living with someone you hate

It often happens that hatred is formed when young people get married. From the very first days of their life together, they are overtaken by pitfalls (difficulties), because of which the couple is visited by thoughts of separation. It also happens that hatred manifests itself after a large amount of time spent together. Certain things stop a woman from going through the divorce process.