Your son is gradually growing up: externally and internally. You can barely keep up with what's happening to him. A lot is changing: from clothes and habits to worldview and attitude towards girls.
The difficult teenage stage is inherent in nature; it cannot be avoided. For some it happens earlier, for others later, but on average, boys begin to transform from a child into a man at the age of 11-12 years.
Believe me, it's not easy for your son right now. Physical illness is superimposed by unstable mental processes and new views on the world around us. If you understand what is happening in your son’s body and can explain it to him, then this stage will be a little easier.
Let's start with physiological changes.
Raising a 9-year-old boy: advice from a psychologist
You need to try to sort out the problems. That is, do not shift responsibility onto your child’s shoulders, but also do not deprive him of choice. Give your child more independence than before. You cannot leave a child without control, because he can make a lot of mistakes, but try to make this control unnoticeable. Do not lie and tell your child the truth, even if it is quite harsh and unpleasant.
Raising a 9-year-old boy, advice from a psychologist:
- Be sure to get advice about spending family money. Monitor your child’s health and, if necessary, consult a dermatologist to solve problems with oily skin, acne and pimples.
- Be sure to praise your child, even if the achievements are minor.
- Do not reprimand your child in front of peers, as this may undermine his or her authority. Listen to his opinion and express yours, but don’t force him to do it his way.
- Be sure to be interested in successes and listen to what the child says. Trust him and be sure to love him.
- Boys aged 9 years have not yet reached the culmination of adolescence, so there may be subtle changes in behavior. However, at this age there is a need for personal space and greater freedom.
- Therefore, parents should be prepared that after the age of 9 the child will gradually become distant. Remember that at this age sons are very vulnerable, interests, some questions and doubts appear. Be sure to communicate with your child and try to support him. Very often, sweet children turn into unbearable ones and may behave badly.
Communication
Psychological characteristics of children
This period contributes to the manifestation of the character traits of an adult. To prove his worth, the guy uses aggressive methods of communicating with loved ones. This behavior is typical for families practicing authoritarian methods of education, pressure on the psyche, and coercion. To take his place, the boy is forced to be rude and refuse to cooperate. The opposite cases are withdrawal from communication, alienation, reluctance to talk about one’s problems, depressive behavior.
Emotions are clearly visible. Manifestations of shyness and tightness along with outbursts of anger are possible. Parents need to understand that the child’s desire to grow up is not controlled by consciousness - these are the first tests, attempts to form a personal style of behavior.
The first place is occupied by the opinion of others about the personal merits and abilities of a teenager. Experience in sports and serious interests in subjects helps. It is difficult for a boy to start doing something seriously, so it is advisable to enroll a child in clubs and additional schools earlier, so that by adolescence he already has a stock of skills that will contribute to self-affirmation.
The psychological characteristics of a child at 10 years old depend on his family authority—how interested his relatives are in his achievements and opinion. The slightest remark provokes a violent protest. The best thing parents can do is to turn a blind eye to shortcomings and praise more, even small achievements.
The desire to please girls encourages risky manipulations.
Psychology of a 10-11 year old boy: advice
The transitional age can begin at 11 years old and last until 17. This is a fairly wide range, during which significant changes in appearance occur. The genital organs mature, hair growth increases, the voice changes, and significant changes occur in the boy’s height and weight. In general, from 14 to 16 years of age, there may be a peak in weight gain, as well as in height. It is during this period that a young man is able to grow by several tens of centimeters. Of course, such a significant jump in growth and changes in appearance is due to the high content of various hormones in the blood. They can affect the child’s mental state, causing anxiety, apathy, excessive emotionality, or, conversely, isolation. Therefore, parents should be prepared for this. It is best to prepare your child for such a period in advance by discussing important aspects.
Psychology of a 10-11 year old boy, tips:
- First of all, it is necessary to talk about nocturnal emissions that occur in adolescents. Indeed, according to the opinion of a large number of experts, they are the ones who cause a lot of anxiety in children. If you are embarrassed to talk about such intimate topics, you can offer him a relevant book. In this case, the teenager will independently choose a convenient time to read useful information.
- It is necessary for the child to understand that nothing bad is happening to his body. Be sure to pay attention to the teenager’s appearance. At the age of 10-16 years, boys and girls are characterized by youthful maximalism; they are very scrupulous about their appearance. It may not change for the better. Previously beautiful, smooth, thin skin becomes oily, covered with pimples and comedones.
- Even if these problems are minor, you need to pay attention to them. Never yell at your child or ignore his problems, even if they seem insignificant to you. Help your child take care of his skin. Take him to an appointment with a dermatologist, talk and discuss all the intricacies of caring for oily teenage skin. Usually, dermatologists prescribe special products, talkers, and masks that help remove pimples and blackheads.
In company
Diet and sleep patterns
During the period when the body is undergoing restructuring and intensive development of the skeleton, muscle mass, and vascular system, the child needs a large amount of protein, carbohydrates and calcium. The child's meals should be nutritious and high in calories.
The daily menu must include fermented milk products, fresh vegetables and fruits. Lack of nutrients can lead to fatigue, weakness and serious illness.
To be active, a teenager needs to sleep at least eight hours and adhere to a healthy sleep schedule - falling asleep before 10:00 pm. This is due to the production of the hormone melatonin, which is responsible for the efficiency of the immune system, the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract and the brain.
The need for rest and nutrition increases among adolescents involved in sports and intellectual activities.
Psychology of a 12 year old boy: advice
During this period, personal boundaries are built, so do not be upset if a teenager moves away from you. For the first time he begins to feel like a person, a person and an individual, as well as a member of society. He wants his opinion to be taken into account.
Psychology of a 12 year old boy, advice:
- If there is misunderstanding on the part of adults, the child may withdraw into himself. Therefore, under no circumstances treat a teenager as a child. Try to communicate with him as an adult, but do not forget that he is not smart or experienced enough to make serious decisions. Please note that now very low self-esteem and complexes may form.
- The child often becomes overly anxious during this period. There may be difficulties communicating with peers. Therefore, take a closer look at your friends and surroundings. Teenagers aged 11-12 years may act rashly. This is one of the most dangerous periods, when there is a surge of hormones, and boys want to be better than their peers, often getting into “weak” fights.
- The main task is to assert yourself, prove to yourself that you are worth something, and also gain authority among your peers. It is necessary to tell the child that he is worthy, thereby increasing his self-esteem. It is necessary that the child learns to perceive his emotions and control them. In adolescence, this is quite difficult; the emotional component predominates rather than the rational one. Therefore, teach your child to control his emotions and manage aggression.
At this stage, boundaries are changed and new ones are created. An independent person with his own views and emotions is formed. Therefore, it is quite natural that the guy wants to separate from his parents. That is why at the moment there may be a denial of family values, authority and norms of behavior. The child may become too aggressive. Try to smooth out such conflicts gently. Very often, children want to do everything the other way around in order to annoy adults and contrast their values. Often a restructuring of emotions occurs, and feelings become more vivid.
Alone
How to develop a child
It is necessary to develop a teenager in two directions - physical and psychological. Parents try to choose a club or sport for their child, and then scold them for failure. Because dad or mom is trying to realize personal unfulfilled dreams with his life - this is prohibited. A person chooses the type of activity himself.
Psychologically, the guy is able to take responsibility for any actions. He can be assigned to take out the trash every day, pick up his younger brother from kindergarten, and put him to bed. This is how a little person is taught discipline and order. If the family does not have clear guidelines, he will quickly get tired and ignore responsibilities, which will affect future family life.
The worst thing on the mother’s part is excessive persistence and unnecessary care. The first case is when a person grows up lacking initiative, timid, and afraid of women. The second is lazy, irresponsible. Both cases of creating a strong family will be unsuccessful, because at a certain moment a woman also needs support. It is situations like this that destroy families.
Psychology of a 13 year old boy
Parents should gently encourage them to make the right choice. You must try to make sure that he does not understand that you are the initiator of a useful acquaintance. A child at this age may ignore those he does not like and does not feel trust.
Psychology of a 13 year old boy:
- Male education is very important during this period. That is why it is necessary for his father to communicate with him. Not only the mother is able to discuss sensitive issues, but also the father. It is necessary that trust arises from early childhood.
- Only in such conditions will the child discuss masculine topics with his father. If in childhood and adolescence there is no trust between parents and child, then in adulthood such an individual will constantly shift responsibility to someone else. Often such guys become childish and not independent. The father and mother must allow the child to make his own decisions, even if he makes mistakes.
- First of all, in adolescence, the father should communicate with the child not as with his son, keeping him under constant control, pointing out mistakes, but forming friendly relations. It is worth noting that at the age of 14, children in a military family are more disciplined and resilient than their peers. However, in such families a huge problem arises. This is due to the rather strict treatment of children, which often provokes a breakdown.
Restrictions
Games for younger teens
To offer an interesting game to a pre-teen child, you need to know his range of interests. You can buy board games - school subjects, business, economics, engineering, architecture.
Of particular interest are kits designed for self-assembly of aircraft, ships, architectural structures, and robots.
As an entertaining and educational activity, a guy can be offered additional education—advanced computer courses, learning foreign languages. The rule is that the child chooses the activity independently. The child must want to do a certain activity. For children who are interested in computers and games, you can offer a club in robotics, programming, and game creation so that the time spent on the laptop is not wasted. In addition, information technology is rapidly developing, so the skills may be useful in the future.
Advice for parents of a 13 year old teenager
Starting from the age of 13, teenage boys can actively engage in various sports. Accordingly, they want to be better, shape their figure, so it is necessary to adjust the amount of load.
Advice for parents of a 13-year-old teenager:
- Anabolic steroids and steroids are often taken. This negatively affects the child’s health, muscle formation, and physique. During this period, active growth of muscles and bones occurs, while internal organs do not have time to grow so quickly.
- Therefore, if you exercise too much, you may experience health problems. Therefore, under no circumstances should a child be dissuaded from playing sports, but it is necessary to encourage them to adjust physical activity and not take dangerous medications.
- An example of parental misbehavior is punishing a child. Try to talk to him more and understand. After all, the child behaves badly for a reason; perhaps he is worried about something, he does not know how to behave.
In adolescence, a boy may be completely confused, not understanding what awaits next. Remember that punishment can make the situation worse. It is necessary to form trusting relationships and comfortable living conditions so that the child goes home, not like to hard labor, but to a place where you can share your problems. Try to be an example for your son.
Communication
Body and hormones
Behind these three phenomena, three new phenomena in the boy's behavior, there are important biological changes. Until now, his growth and development were determined, of course, by male sex hormones. Chief among them was androstenolone , produced by the adrenal cortex and testicles - a weak hormone that does not affect the sexual sphere itself. But gradually the pituitary gland begins to secrete very small doses of gonadostimulating hormone (GSH), Leydig cells grow in the boy’s testicles, and they produce the “real” sex hormone - testosterone.
In this case, the testicles increase in volume, then the skin of the scrotum darkens and becomes folded, then hair begins to grow in the groin, around the genitals and in the armpits. Experts believe that the true beginning of puberty is an increase in the volume of the testicles. Changes in the scrotum, hair growth, and deepening of the voice occur only after the growth of the testicles. Important, often painful, changes begin in the testicles, adrenal glands, musculoskeletal tissue, and cardiovascular system.
Bone growth begins to outpace muscle growth, and after a year or two, during puberty, this advance is often accompanied by unpleasant feelings of tension and irritation, distracting from school, and in some adolescents giving rise to real dysphoria : depression with shades of irritation and anger.
The growth of the heart outpaces the growth of blood vessels, causing tachycardia and increased blood pressure. All these processes in the body begin in prepuberty, but they reach the level of subjectively experienced symptoms only in the present puberty.
During these one or two years, the boy’s endocrine system produces estrogen (female hormone) in quantities slightly greater than male ones - androstenolone and testosterone. Estrogens are known to act on the brain as substances that reduce tension, anxiety, and irritability. They make the boy softer, more sociable, ready to absorb information and recommendations. It is during these years that it is absolutely necessary to accustom the child to communicate with his parents, to instill the skill of informing them about his affairs and problems, and the skill of calmly discussing his problems with his parents.
Psychology of a 14 year old boy
The most difficult relationships with a teenager are observed at the age of 13-14 years. It must be remembered that a child is a separate person, so there is no need to invest your values in him.
Psychology of a 14 year old boy:
- There is also no need to force someone to do something or follow in your footsteps. The main task of an adult is to provide freedom so that the child can choose for himself what he wants to do, who he wants to become in the future.
- The task of adults is to observe, guide, but at the same time smooth out rough edges, and also minimize the risk of dangerous situations. Pay attention to how a teenager behaves in company.
- Is he a victim of bullying or an outcast? The main difficulty is getting the boy to talk. Often at this age, guys are very secretive and are in no hurry to share their emotions.
Communication
Single-parent families
Single-parent families have a special situation, and if a girl lives with her dad, it is advisable to make sure that she has an older “friend” (grandmother, aunt, nanny), who, from her own, female, position, will help in resolving certain issues. If you are in such a mentoring role, take it seriously, do not divulge the secrets entrusted to you, and do not ridicule the immature decisions of your mentee.
Single-parent family requires special treatment of the child
It is quite possible that a 10-year-old girl will not dare to discuss any of the problems that concern her, so she should carefully “test” the situation, inadvertently touching on “difficult” topics and noting the reaction for herself. Fear of discussion is associated with the fear of showing your ignorance, stupidity or awkwardness
If you find out what exactly bothers the child, you can tell something funny about yourself on this topic. Let him see that everyone has failures and absurdities, and that there are no taboo topics for discussion.
Teenage boy 14 years old: advice from a psychologist
The main difficulty is that now the main authority for the child is not the parents, but classmates, grown-up guys. A teenager may feel disappointed in life and not see future prospects while watching his parents.
Teenage boy 14 years old, advice from a psychologist:
- Very often guys at this age lose their incentive. They feel frustrated and threatened. Only in the company of your friends and peers can you show what you are capable of, throw out heroism, as well as aggression.
- Teenagers' problems arise due to misunderstandings in family and school. If earlier he listened to the opinions of teachers and parents, now he questions absolutely everything they tell him. The main task is to convey to the teenager that he is the culprit of the incidents and is responsible for them.
- Therefore, the choice lies solely with him. At the age of 14, a search for authority usually occurs. The boy finds himself a certain role model. Usually boys want to be like their idol, so their appearance, clothing style, and behavior change.
Alcohol
Modern approach
In the modern world, the approach to raising boys has changed; women are most often involved in this.
Suffice it to remember that in kindergartens and schools the majority of the teaching staff is female. Therefore, the child may not receive the necessary male experience. In this case, the role of family education increases, within the framework of which the father, by his own example, will show his son the norms of behavior. It’s not easy for single mothers, because they need to explain to their child something that they themselves have not encountered - the male model of behavior. This does not always work out successfully, which is why there are so many men who behave like a “typical girl.”
Often, in two-parent families, fathers are either too busy, missing out on work to provide the family with everything they need, or they withdraw themselves from upbringing, placing all responsibility on their spouse, or they themselves were raised incorrectly, are childish and unmanly and are not able to teach anything good. Therefore, mothers have to deal with such a difficult unfeminine task - teaching their child to become a man.
Required qualities
Psychologists have conducted research and found out what qualities modern mothers would like to see in their sons. The results are quite unexpected:
- accuracy;
- diligence;
- conscientiousness.
While many mothers put masculinity and courage in last place. The position is clear - a serious and calm child will not create problems, unlike a daredevil and a good-natured hooligan. But in the end, the mothers themselves will remain amazed - why their boy grew up lacking initiative, timid, modest, not ready to overcome obstacles, not realizing that they themselves became the reason for this situation.
Taking care of the baby, not allowing him to frolic in the company of the same children, mothers often raise him in the way that is convenient for them - as a family child without unnecessary problems, thus distorting the very nature of men. The child becomes weak-willed, unable to fight back if his peers attack him, is tormented by constant fears, and has no opinion of his own. An overprotected child will hardly be able to grow up to be a harmonious and purposeful person, ready for life’s difficulties; until his hair turns gray, he will count on his mother’s help and sincerely not understand that he could achieve everything on his own.
The second option is the manifestation of protests, which is typical for children who have some fortitude. Such boys categorically refuse to listen to their parents, do not fulfill their requests, are aggressive, and act out of spite. The reason for this behavior is also the overprotection of mothers, and the child rebels against it. The long-awaited and only babies in the family suffer especially.
Next, we suggest you get acquainted with how psychologists advise to properly raise a boy so that he does not grow up effeminate, spoiled and not ready for an independent life, but at the same time does not suffer from lack of attention. Women should give up their position as an “overly caring mother,” let go of their own fears, and give their child a little more freedom. That is, give up your own maternal egoism and think about who her son will become in the future.
Psychology of a teenager 15 years old boy: advice to parents
If the boy is embarrassed by the appearance of dark hair above the lip, suggest removal. If the guy is not yet ready to use a razor, you can recommend waxing or sugaring.
Psychology of a teenager 15 years old boy, advice to parents:
- As a result of such manipulations, hair will grow much slower, and coarse stubble will not appear, which will force you to shave constantly. Also listen to the teenager’s opinion, and be sure to make an appointment with the hairdresser. At this age, all guys want to stand out from the crowd and seem cooler than their peers. Recommend a good hairdresser and offer to show the guy the haircut he wants.
- A stylish appearance significantly increases self-confidence and improves the relationship between parents and child. It is because of appearance that a large number of complexes arise. Guys often suffer from excessive hair growth.
- It is worth understanding that not everyone develops in the same way, so some of their peers will experience noticeable changes; for some, maturation occurs much later. A teenager should not feel like everyone else, special, or be criticized by their peers.
- During this period, there is a significant change in the child's behavior. This is due to a change in psychology due to a surge in hormones. The boy begins to feel like a separate person who needs to be listened to. Your main task is to establish a trusting relationship with him and listen to his opinion. You cannot talk about the fact that you are currently the breadwinner in the family, so the teenager must do what you say. This does not work and can cause aggression and separation of the child from adults.
- During this period, the boy chooses a leader for himself, as well as people whom he imitates. Most often these are not parents. He often compares himself with his peers, trying on different roles. Don’t be opposed if your child starts to dress creatively or gets piercings or strange hairstyles. This is just a search for yourself, and a way to understand your position in society. Allow the child to do what he wants, as long as it does not harm his health or life.
Communication
Housework
First of all, you have to learn to consider a 10-11 year old teenager not only as a child, but also as a person who wants to make decisions on his own, without regard to what they will say or think about him. It is possible that he will view the performance of household duties not as an objectively necessary action, but as an act of submission to someone else’s will.
Discuss with the future hostess that you are not able to do everything around the house and it would be reasonable (if she is already old enough) to share the worries with her. Give her your “territory,” for which she will be responsible, entrust her with a certain (but strictly limited) list of matters that are under her jurisdiction.
At the age of 10, a girl must clean her own room
Better instead:
- Keep your room tidy (lead by example).
- Discuss the consequences of such negligence (the occurrence of allergic reactions and frequent illnesses due to excess dust and poor hygiene, the appearance of an unpleasant odor in clothes, to which classmates may react poorly).
- Be able to show a moderately positive reaction to the fact that your daughter has finally taken up cleaning (stormy enthusiasm, as well as ignorance, can cause a teenager to have a negative attitude towards the experience of housekeeping).
If your 10-year-old daughter does something outside the regulated list, then be sure to note how much she helped you, because this is not part of her responsibilities, and she spent her free personal time taking care of her family and household chores.
Advice from a psychologist to parents of teenagers
It is necessary to listen to your son and accept his desire to grow up. It is worth listening to the child and making it clear that you seriously evaluate his emotions and experiences. At the age of 13, it is necessary to discuss with the boy certain problems that are considered to be adults.
Advice from a psychologist to parents of teenagers:
- It is necessary to gradually wean yourself from perceiving your son as a child. It is worth creating an atmosphere of trust in the house. That is, the father and mother must treat their child with patience and trust.
- All guys at that age should have their own space. This does not mean that it is necessary to let everything take its course and give your son complete freedom. However, it is worth remembering that the child may get tired of his surroundings.
- It's best if he has his own room and time to be alone. Teach your child to say “no.” Many guys have problems with this in their teens. They want to be like their peers, go to abandoned buildings, unfinished construction sites, or engage in dangerous pastimes at train stations.
- Often such teenagers cling to trains. Accordingly, it is necessary to convince the child that this is quite dangerous and it is not worth sacrificing your health, as well as your life, in order to seem the coolest among your peers.
Teenager
Beginning of adolescence
The first signs of adolescence appear at 9-13 years of age. Exactly when a boy’s physical changes will begin is influenced by genetic, internal and external factors: genetic predisposition, climate, health status, the presence of pathologies in the body, etc. Due to the huge number of factors, it is difficult to find out when the transition period will begin and end in a boy. specific child. One thing is clear: if parents communicate closely with their child and treat him attentively, they will not miss this period.
How to raise a boy without a father: advice from psychologists
Particular attention must be paid to adolescents who grow up in the company of only one mother, without a father. Very often in such families there are two extremes. The mother constantly controls the child, becomes fixated on him, and tries to take out her anger because of personal failures. Often, excessive guardianship makes a child dependent. Usually such children become objects of ridicule and bullying by their peers. They are very helpless and do not know how to stand up for themselves.
How to raise a boy without a father, advice from psychologists:
- Remember, under no circumstances should you openly express your dissatisfaction and take it out on your child. In this case, he will feel like a burden, guilty of all his mother’s problems. Typically, such teenagers withdraw and are subject to the bad influence of their peers.
- If a mother is offended by her father, she should under no circumstances turn the child against him. It is necessary to communicate with the child on equal terms, not to be a mother and father at the same time. In this case, it will be difficult for a teenager to understand what a real woman and man should be like.
- In a family where there is no father, it is necessary to find appropriate authority for the child. This could be a family friend, a cousin or uncle, or one of the relatives who often visits the family.
Communication
How to understand by correspondence that a guy likes you
Often young people find each other on the Internet. For this there are dating sites, chat rooms and interest groups, messengers.
During the communication process, the bond formed can become stronger if the guy becomes interested in his new girlfriend. To do this, a girl must be an interesting person, answer questions honestly and competently, and also be interested in the life and affairs of her interlocutor.
If a young man is impressed by your page on a social network, your appearance and level of intelligence, then most likely he will like you.
The following signs will help you understand the young man’s attitude towards you:
- the young man does not shy away from answering questions about his passions;
- responds to messages promptly;
- congratulates you on holidays and birthday;
- sends beautiful pictures, funny emoticons and romantic music recordings;
- does not remain indifferent to your experiences;
- gives advice in difficult life situations.
Correspondence on the Internet can develop into real sympathy. You can even talk about love if the guy invites you on a date and confesses his feelings. When communication by correspondence becomes face-to-face, the relationship will be closer and more trusting.
Advice for a teenage boy
Children themselves suffer from the changes that happen to them, painfully experiencing growing up.
Advice for a teenage boy:
- In order not to refuse your peers, shift the blame to your parents. Accordingly, if you are afraid to say “no”, or do not want to feel like an outcast, say what your parents forbade. This will prevent you from getting into an unpleasant situation.
- Always count to 10 if you want to say something offensive or do something unexpected.
- For facts and explanations, turn to your parents.
- Your parents were teenagers too, so don't be afraid to ask them for help.
- Choose the right and understandable words for conversations with adults. Sometimes parents don't understand youth slang.
- Maintain hygiene and cleanliness. During this period, sweating increases and acne may occur.
- Don't ignore communication with your peers. But if you don't support their hobbies, or consider their activities dangerous, go home.
- Don't shirk your homework and physical labor. This strengthens and prepares for adult life.
- Take care of your health. How you feel directly affects your appearance. At first it may seem that there is enough health for children and grandchildren, but this is not so.
- Listen to the opinions of your parents and friends, but do as you see fit.
Online correspondence
How to behave as a girl
1 Don't worry
This is an important event, but your fate does not depend on it. Even if your parents don’t like the guy, it’s up to you to decide whether to date him or not. 2 Avoid complex and drawn-out speeches
Keep it simple. For example, “Mom and dad are Seryozha - my young man.” 3 Keep the number of workpieces to a minimum. Prepared topics for conversation, memorized phrases, they cause those painful pauses in the conversation that you so want to avoid. 4 Be prepared for anything. Rest assured, the welcoming speeches will be followed by the obligatory questions. 5Smooth the corners. Feel free to change the topic if you see that someone doesn't like it. Dose humor.
Advice from a psychologist on how to help a teenager
At the age of 11-13 years there may be first attempts to try tobacco and alcohol. It is necessary to give the child freedom, but still control his circle of friends. If one of them drinks or smokes, try to gently explain to the child that this is not the best way to spend time. It is very difficult at this age to control their pastime, since they spend most of the day at school. Accordingly, at this time they can communicate with friends.
Advice from a psychologist on how to help a teenager:
- Starting from the age of nine, it is best to come up with additional activities for the child to minimize the amount of free time. It has been proven that teenagers whose time is not controlled by their parents are unoccupied and often find themselves in unpleasant situations and bad company. Conversely, children who spend almost all their free time playing sports and attending clubs are less susceptible to peer influence, since they do not have time to think about bad things.
- It is necessary for a teenager to have a hobby that calms him down and helps him achieve a state of balance. These can be mental and physical activities. Perhaps this is running your own blog or website on YouTube.
- You cannot insist and force a teenager to do something specific. He must make his own choice. Remember that the child is not a copy of you, so he is not obliged to follow the instructions. It is necessary to assign certain household responsibilities to the teenager. This could be washing the floor, cleaning rooms.
Relationships
Here you can also read advice on various topics, for example :
- How to win people over?
- How to love a man correctly?
- How to deal with stress and depression?
- Why is it important to be able to forgive people?
- My husband beats me, what should I do in this situation?
You cannot exploit a child and shift your work to him. However, a teenager must understand that he is a member of the family and has certain responsibilities. He is responsible for his actions, so he can choose what he will do.
Hobbies
A teenager should have his own hobbies, this will help him realize himself. Many people go in for sports. A teenager can collect stamps, photographs, calendars, etc.
Creative activities can be a favorite activity: writing, drawing, etc. Help your teenager develop his existing abilities.
The boy should be protected from dangerous hobbies associated with bad companies.
Computer and Internet
It is important to know how your child spends time on a social network. What groups is he registered in, with whom and how does he communicate. It is important to do all this unobtrusively.
Make sure your son doesn't sit at the computer in the evening. Fatigue can cause a nervous breakdown.
Teenagers become computer dependent due to nervous disorders and inferiority complex. This is a very dangerous situation that requires the help of a psychologist.
Sports in a boy's life
A twelve-year-old child changes physiologically, his muscles grow, his shoulders become wider. It is important that the boy engages in some kind of sport.
It is better to start choosing a sport between the ages of 5 and 7 years. In this case, by the age of 12, the teenager will already have a useful activity. Swimming, hockey, judo, and athletics are suitable for overweight children. If the child is tall, then he can play volleyball or basketball. Speed and agility are important in football and hockey. The main thing is that the training is beneficial. Teenagers who lead an active lifestyle have fewer problems.
Education
Education is of great importance in raising a teenager. It forms a system of life values. Schoolchildren are taught to accept social responsibility and make the right choice in difficult life situations. Children are prepared for adulthood.
School
School is an important component of a teenager’s social development. It is designed to make the development process less painful for the child himself. Here the teenager learns to communicate and live in a team.
Sometimes a child does not want to go to school. The reasons may be different. For example, he does not see the point in studying or has bad relationships with peers. Explain in a confidential conversation what the consequences may be. Parents should increase motivation to study and set goals together with their child.
If a teenager does not have good relationships in a team, contact a teacher or psychologist. Help solve this problem.
Additional education
Continuing education institutions provide a wide range of interest classes. Some teenagers cannot express themselves in general education, in the classroom. You can develop your hobbies and talents in clubs. A teenager can participate in various competitions and competitions.
Such activities will help increase self-esteem, and even authority in the class. Motivation, self-realization and socialization develop.
Choice of profession
A serious issue in the life of a teenager is the choice of a future profession. Doing something you don't like leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction. Nowadays, it is worth thinking about who the child will be as early as possible. It is necessary to help the teenager decide on the direction of future activities.
Now many schools and even kindergartens have a certain focus. An experienced psychologist will help you make the right choice through testing. The child will be able to develop in accordance with his natural abilities.
By doing something that works and brings satisfaction, the teenager will be able to achieve good results and will feel comfortable and confident in the children's team.
Emotional development
Teenage emotions are no joke, and you'll probably get a taste of the wild ride over the next year. They love their parents, but want nothing to do with them. They feel like winners and then feel like they've lost everything. There will be moments of happiness, blows of sadness, and then it will all happen again and again.
During this time, children begin to develop their leadership skills and begin to understand the idea of giving back to the community. Encourage these skills by allowing them to participate in decision-making processes at home and by supporting participation in community or school activities.
Major milestones
- Starting to show a rebellious streak
- Strengthens their independence from parents, but often requires adult approval
- Begins to question family values and develop personal morals
Advice for parents
Balance independence and leadership with maintaining house rules and keeping your teen safe. 1 Talk often about things your 12-year-old would like to do on his own, and constantly make compromises when deemed necessary.