Transition and crisis in adolescents - advice from a psychologist

The specifics of adolescence differ depending on gender. The transitional stage in girls has its own characteristics, primarily related to the reproductive system. What are the developmental features of teenage girls, what situations await parents and what risks arise? How to navigate adolescence wisely? Read more about this.

First, I want to mention that in this article I adhere to classical periodizations, and not modern proposals to extend adolescence to 24 years. You can read about why I hold this opinion in the article “Transition and crisis in adolescents - advice from a psychologist.”

Based on the analysis of different age periodizations, we can say that in girls, adolescence lasts from 10 (12) years to 15 (16) years. At the same time, the peak of negative reactions is the period from 11 to 13 years. And the peak of emotional instability occurs at 13-15 years. In girls, the negative phase in 70% of cases ends with literary work (letters, diaries, poems).

Adolescence concept

I would like to make a reservation right away that the material in the article is presented from the perspective of old options for defining adolescence, and not new proposals to extend it to 24 years of age (by the way, this has not yet been approved in any case).

Let me explain why. In my opinion, psychophysiological changes are primary, and these norms have long been established. Another question is that not all people go through the stages of “switching” from one age to another in a timely manner. In this connection, we should not talk about shifting boundaries in age classification, but about infantilism and anomalies of the modern generation.

Representatives of the new theory operate with the idea that modern youth finish their studies late, but let me remind you that you can enter a university at any age.
Another argument is late marriages. But I think that this is a sign of a change in mentality, stereotypes, gender identification and, finally, the influence of state conditions that dictate the need for long and complex self-realization before creating a new cell and new lives. The point is not a lack of readiness to perform the reproductive function, but a conscious decision made by a mature person.

That is, I believe that modern scientists propose changing attitudes towards the situation and re-interpreting it as normal, rather than solving the problems observed in society.

But enough of the lyrics. Let's talk about what adolescence is in the established theory of psychology, which still remains leading.

Literally, this period is interpreted as “turning into an adult.” Adolescence is usually called the stage of life between 10 and 17 years. In this case, the following are distinguished:

early adolescence (10-14);
older adolescence (15-17).

However, sometimes older age is classified as early adolescence. The World Health Organization generally considers adolescence to be a period from 10 to 20 years. Thus, on average, adolescence lasts from 10 to 15 years.

Transitional age at 13-14 years old

The main feature of this period is the beginning of menstruation. As a rule, it begins two years after the appearance of hair in the armpits and external genitalia. Some girls experience this stage in their lives emotionally. It is important to talk about periods in advance so that their appearance, and then the period of normalization, are not a surprise. Talk to your daughter about the physiology of this process and the personal hygiene features that are associated with it.

If your periods have not started during this period or they cause severe discomfort, pain in the lower abdomen or other abnormalities, then it is better to consult a doctor, he will help you overcome these difficulties.

Summary

The leading need of age is the desire for deliberate maturity and self-affirmation.

Social situation of development – teenager-peer.

The leading activity of age is intimate and personal communication with peers.

Due to the surge of hormones, the following occurs:

increased fatigue,
absent-mindedness,
lethargy,
touchiness.

The main neoplasms of adolescence include:

formation of self-concept, self-awareness, reflection;
identification;
awareness of individuality.

In total, two phases can be distinguished in adolescence: negative and positive. The transition from the first to the second is considered the beginning of productive activity.

Specifics of adolescence

The transitional stage is full of contradictions, but it is they that ensure the development and formation of personality. The main contradiction with which this period begins is the discrepancy between existing tools (knowledge, experience, skills, motives) and new social situations, types of interaction with the world.

During adolescence, rapid development of all aspects of personality occurs:

biological (puberty and physical growth);
psychophysiological (self-awareness, self-esteem, identification);
cognitive (thinking);
social (relationships, behavior, worldview).

It is worth noting that each of the areas of development is closely interconnected with the other. When their development is uneven or multidirectional, personality contradictions arise.

Mental symptoms make themselves known earlier than others. Teenagers are no longer interested in children's games, but the hobbies of older teenagers are still unclear. They do not yet have new ideals and full-fledged self-awareness, but they no longer want, like children, to blindly obey someone’s authority.

Natural negative manifestations of age include:

pessimistic attitude;
increased sensitivity and irritability;
physical and mental illness (whims and fights);
dreaminess and uncertainty;
ambition;
nervousness;
dissatisfaction with oneself.

The main risk of adolescence is deviation (addiction, suicide, crime, etc.). You can read more about teenage deviations in the article “Deviant Behavior of Children and Adolescents: Causes, Prevention and Correction.”

It is worth noting that the manifestations of adolescence not only differ by gender, but also depend on a number of other factors. For example, region, place (city, village), climate, time, country, and so on. Therefore, the presented behavior options and states of adolescents should be considered as a basis, but not as an obligatory truth and the only possible option for personal development.

Features of adolescence at 17-18 years old

Hormonal storms pass, the emotional state levels out, smoothness and femininity of the body curves appear - the ugly duckling turns into a beautiful swan. Girls move from childhood to adulthood with all the fullness of responsibility and responsibilities.

At this stage, it is important to emotionally and morally support your daughter, help her make the right decisions and convince her to adhere to the right moral guidelines. After all, adult life is full of temptations and obstacles.

The main thing is to become for her not only a mother, but also a best friend with whom you can share all your most secret things, laugh and cry.

Age-specific reactions

Adolescence is characterized by four reactions:

emancipation;
grouping with peers;
interest in the opposite sex;
numerous hobbies.

Let's look at each of them in more detail.

Emancipation reaction

This is the desire to act independently. It permeates the entire life of a teenager, that is, this reaction can be observed every day. Highlight:

emotional (care to communicate with peers);
behavioral (escape from parental control);
normative emancipation (denial of habitual values, search for new ones).

Grouping with peers

The peer group is the regulator of a teenager’s behavior. He seeks self-affirmation in her.

Interest in the opposite sex

Relationships with the opposite sex are twofold: on the one hand, interest, and on the other, feigned indifference.

Hobbies

There are several groups of teenage hobbies:

intellectual-aesthetic (deep passion for something);
bodily-manual (the purpose of the classes is strength and endurance);
leadership;
egocentric (independent activities);
gambling (betting);
information and communication (TV, Internet, telephone).

Features of the crisis in girls and boys

Puberty progresses differently in girls and boys. In girls, as a rule, symptoms of the transition period begin to appear at the age of 10-11 years. At the same time, the signs of crisis are rather weakly expressed in them. Boys enter adolescence later - from about 12-13 years old. But the course of the crisis period is much more pronounced. This is mainly due to the fact that society traditionally has stricter requirements for boys and men than for girls and women.

In adolescent boys, the following traits are most pronounced:

Aggression, anger . Behavior changes in relationships both with peers and with adults - parents, teachers. This is mainly due to an increase in testosterone production in the body.
Sudden outbursts of emotions . Mood swings, like unreasonable aggression, are caused by hormonal changes.
Dulled feeling of fear . Teenagers often engage in extreme sports and decide to take rash actions. The reason is also a change in testosterone levels.
The desire for independence . Boys want to be seen as grown men. To do this, they need to solve problems on their own, which is not always possible for a teenager. The inability to cope with troubles on your own causes a disturbance in mental balance.
The desire to lead a lifestyle typical of adult men . Teenagers want to do loud things and even heroic deeds. However, they do not always realize the consequences of rash actions.
Interest in intimate aspects of life . Manifests itself in a strong attraction to the opposite sex.
Preoccupation with appearance . It is wrong to think that boys are less concerned about their appearance than girls. Changes in appearance make teenagers vulnerable, and dissatisfaction with their own appearance leads to isolation, uncertainty, and low self-esteem. They do not tolerate criticism of themselves, and they perceive any rash comment as negatively as possible.

In girls, adolescence is accompanied by the following symptoms:

Concern with appearance . Girls are acutely aware of their inconsistency with generally accepted canons of beauty. This is developing especially clearly against the backdrop of the popularization of social networks. They want to be like their beautiful friends, artists, influencers. They begin to follow fashion and want to dress in trendy things.
Desire to attract attention . Teenagers strive to show how interesting their inner world is and how unusual their views on life are. To attract attention, they use provocative behavior, dress in too flashy outfits, apply expressive makeup, and dye their hair bright colors.
Mood swings . In girls, as in boys, hormonal fluctuations cause mood swings, irritability, outbursts of anger and aggression.
Interest in the opposite sex . Unlike boys, girls are more interested in platonic love. Often at this age they fall in love. If the first love turns out to be unrequited, this can lead to serious complications of the crisis - isolation, depression, suicidal tendencies.

Various distortions of manifestations depend on upbringing, environment, and standards established in society.

Sexual development

It goes in two directions:

awareness of one's own bodily sexuality;
searching for a soul mate and love, romanticizing relationships.

S. Buller noted that there is also mental puberty. It can arise long before physical maturation and end after it. In simple terms, this is the desire to be with someone, to complement each other, which, according to the author’s theory, is characteristic of all people. Thus, we can say that this is precisely the direction of romanticism, relationships without sexual overtones: conversations, spending time together.

Gender identification is one of the new developments of age. That is, the formation of sexual orientation and self-perception of a teenager by gender occurs. Gender identification can be biological or psychological. Their discrepancy is fraught with intrapersonal conflict and sexual behavior disorders.

Scientists have noted that the formation of gender identification is more influenced by sociocultural factors than biological ones. That is, the decisive role is played by the patterns and stereotypes cultivated in society, as well as by the conditions of the teenager’s environment.

This terrible word "puberty"

Puberty in boys is a transitional, difficult and critical age - this is the time when the child grows up and becomes a teenager. At this time, drastic changes occur both in the body and in the psyche of the boy. Puberty usually begins in boys at 11–13 years of age and ends at 16–19 years of age. Boys develop somewhat more slowly than girls, so the onset of puberty is later in boys than in girls. Several factors influence when this difficult time for everyone will begin and how long it will last:

heredity;
diet and diet;
ecological situation;
drugs and food additives, hygiene products containing hormones;
diseases of the endocrine system.

The transition period is a very important stage in the life of a child, which will determine not only the physique and ability to procreate, but also the circle of friends, worldview, hobbies and sexual orientation in adulthood.

Photo source: shutterstock.com

Physical development

Teenagers grow an average of 9 centimeters per year. There is rapid growth of the heart muscle (length, width, volume). Blood pressure (usually increased) and heart rate change. All body systems are rapidly changing.

Modern teenagers are characterized by a general weakening. Despite the apparent acceleration, in comparison with teenagers of past decades, modern girls and boys, according to the results of a study by L.V. Mishchenko, are underweight in more than 80% of cases. The overall strength also decreased.

Transitional age at 10-12 years

The first stage begins with the activation of the glands that produce hormones. This leads to disruptions in many body systems, but most of all it manifests itself in the form of pimples, blackheads, increased sweating, and greasy hair. The child's body gradually acquires feminine features - breasts begin to appear, hips become more rounded. But the changes do not occur evenly, and the once sweet child begins to feel like an ugly duckling.

During this period, it is important to teach the girl to strictly follow the rules of personal hygiene - take a shower, change her underwear every day. Proper nutrition and use of skin care products will help deal with acne and pimples faster.

Personal development

Teenagers are characterized by a sense of adulthood. Their adulthood may have the following character:

imitative (the simplest, but dubious way: imitation of appearance);
exemplary (the desire to be like a “real woman”, “real man”);
social (cooperation with adults, participation in the life of the family, society);
intellectual (self-education, additional search for scientific information).

During adolescence, old value orientations are broken down and new guidelines are sought or created.

Self-awareness is formed through egocentrism, which is overcome through knowledge of peers (communication). Initially, egocentrism manifests itself in two ways:

feeling like an actor and perceiving the world as a stage;
belief in the uniqueness of one's emotions.

Physiological changes

Adolescence begins in girls with physiological changes, which are the causes of further behavioral and emotional changes. The child’s body, having received a huge dose of hormones, begins to transform into a female body and form the organs and features necessary for childbearing. The whole figure changes, acquiring feminine contours due to the expansion of the pelvic bones, enlargement of the buttocks and roundness of the hips. Such a change is necessary for bearing a fetus, and for attracting adult males, since it is precisely this type of female figure that is perceived as genetically attractive - on an instinctive level, a normal man does not react to teenage and children’s equally elongated bodies.

Breast formation occurs not only in terms of its enlargement (for many, this problem is also associated with shame and inconvenience), but the pigmentation of the nipples also changes, becoming more visible, they begin to swell and protrude. Along with the formation of the breast, a change in the hairline occurs - it appears in the intimate area and under the armpits, becoming more noticeable on the limbs and on the face. The changes can be significant (arms, mid-abdomen, sideburns) or practically unnoticeable (only the pubis and armpits) - there are no standards for the number and speed of changes. The fat layer increases, due to which the figure is rounded, but many girls perceive this as overweight and may try to lose weight.

Other changes are also noticeable - skin and hair become oily and problematic, sweating increases. Due to the fact that the hormonal and endocrine systems are working at maximum, new difficulties arise with body odor and unsatisfactory appearance. If during such a period a girl is left without support or an inaccurate remark hurts her already unstable self-esteem, then adolescence will turn into a crisis, with possible variants of depression up to suicidal attempts.

Menstruation begins, the nature of which is not constant, but within a few years by the time the girl reaches adolescence, the girl has already formed her own cycle. You can talk about problems only if there is no onset by the age of sixteen or the nature of the course is very strange - here it is better not to focus on the norms described on the Internet, but to consult a gynecologist. Pressure surges, pain, tingling, fainting, weakness are possible, because... the formation of the vascular system does not keep pace with the growth of the entire body and the heart places additional stress.

Communication with peers and love

Communication with peers is the leading activity of adolescence. Parents need to accept that the former trust with their child will disappear. However, it can be earned again if you change your interaction tactics and recognize your child as an equal partner.

But communication with peers still comes to the fore. It performs a number of important functions:

transfer of experience of growing up, discussion (especially relevant for the sexual sphere);
gender identification (learning roles, stereotypes, preferences, identifying orientation);
psychotherapeutic function (the teenager releases his emotional experiences);
emancipation from parents.

Falling in love is very important for teenagers. Love has 3 components:

Platonic,
erotic,
sexual component.

Only the combination of all three ensures harmony in relationships. This does not happen yet in adolescence. Boys, as a rule, have a predominant erotic character, while girls have a platonic character. Nevertheless, through relationships, a teenager prepares for the future role of husband (wife), father (mother).

What could be the consequences?

Teenagers who did not get help when they needed it may experience a lot of problems in adulthood:

frequent emotional breakdowns;
neuroses;
psychological disorders;
isolation, closedness;
suicidal tendencies;
craving for illicit drugs.

Parents should do everything possible to ensure that their child survives the teenage crisis with minimal losses. It will be much easier to overcome moments of crisis if parents adhere to proper upbringing from early childhood. By the age of 13-14, the child will know the basic rules, learn to adhere to them and develop communication skills. Emotional outbursts, unfortunately, cannot be avoided, but they will pass much easier if you set clear rules in advance and build friendly relationships with your children.

Read on topic: How to survive self-isolation with teenagers
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Age goals

During adolescence, for successful socialization in the future, a teenager needs to successfully solve a number of problems. In which the support and help of parents will be invaluable. However, it is important to remember that we can only talk about cooperation. So, what are these age tasks?

Accepting your appearance.
Successful gender identification (assimilation of male and female roles accepted in society).
Changing the style and forms of communication with peers.
Establishing a new style of relationship with parents (equal cooperation).
Development of professional interests and abilities for further professional guidance in youth.
Acceptance and adoption of mature behavior that assumes responsibility and initiative.

If all of these points regarding a teenager at the end of the age period can be answered in the affirmative, then it means that his transitional age has been successful.

Literature on the topic

In parting, I want to recommend a couple of books.

Yu. P. Gippenreiter “Communicate with the child. How?".
O. V. Kholodkovskaya, V. A. Pashnina “Difficult transitional age: Easy solution to complex problems.”

I advise you to read articles on the same topic: “Transitional age in girls - advice from a psychologist” and “Transitional age and crisis in adolescents - advice from a psychologist.”

Thank you for your attention. I wish you mutual understanding with your children! Listen and you will be heard.

Disadaptation

Disadaptation, that is, problems with accepting a new social situation and entering into it, is a normative phenomenon of adolescence. This arises against the background of uneven development of personality spheres. Disadaptation manifests itself:

criticism of oneself and others;
hypersensitivity;
vulnerability;
aggressiveness;
instability of desires and moods;
intrapersonal conflicts (the most popular is “Who am I?”).

A teenager strives to know himself, which results in a craving for peers (clubs of interests, subcultures, multiple acquaintances). That is, a teenager receives information about himself by looking at his peers.

All teenagers are explorers. They study the world, themselves, and other people. Sometimes introspection takes an extreme option and turns into self-examination and self-flagellation.

It was experimentally revealed that adolescents who are anxious, insecure, uncommunicative, withdrawn, overly controlling themselves and feeling guilty have problems with adaptation.
An average level of adaptation was noted in unstable adolescents with an average level of self-control, prone to dominance and aggression.
Successful adaptation is characterized by confident, sociable, non-anxious adolescents with adequate self-esteem and level of self-control.

Sometimes normative maladjustment drags on, and then, as a rule, we are talking about deviant behavior.

Health facts (mental, physical)

If we talk in general about the health of modern teenage girls, we can note several disappointing facts (data from a study by M. B. Krasnikova):

slow pace of physical development;
disorders in the development of the reproductive system;
an abundance of chronic and recurrent diseases;
psychosomatic problems;
prevalence of sexually transmitted infections;
early pregnancies;
deviant behavior (alcoholism, drug addiction, substance abuse);
problems with social integration;
Every eighth girl has disorders of sexual development or gynecological problems.

It is noted that these facts are associated with problems of mental development of teenage girls. This arises under the influence of destructive family upbringing, the decline of morality in society, the availability of information against the backdrop of a small amount of organized propaganda of useful material.

Teenage crisis

Teenage crisis is a relative concept:

some researchers believe that this is the entire period of adolescence;
someone takes the first year to do this;
and some believe that this is an individual phenomenon that can arise at any time during adolescence or not occur at all.

For example, psychologist L. S. Vygotsky at the stage of adolescence (adolescence) identified two crises - 13 years and 17 years. The first crisis marks the transition from childhood to adolescence, the second - from adolescence to youth.

Simply put, the crisis of adolescence is the peak of emotional activity, hormonal release, and personal development. The extreme version of the crisis is deviation.

Thus, an adolescent crisis is a manifestation of an intrapersonal conflict formed under the influence of external factors (parenting style) and internal factors (the discrepancy between the needs of a teenager and the possibilities for satisfying them).

If parents act pedagogically competently, then deviations, affective outbursts and conflicts can be avoided. It is true that it is important not to confuse the smooth course of adolescence with a specific crisis. Some children, on the contrary, become excessively withdrawn into themselves, which can lead to depression and suicide.

If we talk about the primary crisis of the beginning of adolescence (the transition from childhood to adolescence), then it is characterized by two main features:

decreased performance, school performance (due to an ongoing change in the type of thinking);
negativism (negative behavioral reactions caused by the desire for emancipation).

Emotional sphere

Girls experience any emotions more clearly than boys. They perceive everything as highly significant, vital, and important.

The peak of emotionality occurs at the age of 13-14, then decreases.
A new surge occurs at 18 years of age.

Often these outbursts are called the crisis of adolescence. Emotional and mood swings are characteristic: sadness and despair are replaced by euphoria and joy. In general, girls have a predominant manic-depressive state, which is caused by hormonal and somatic changes with low self-awareness and acceptance.

Parents and teenagers: recommendations

Despite the desire of adolescents to move away from their families, it is important to provide them with support. Teenagers need support and unobtrusive advice from an adult in difficult times. However, it is important for parents to exclude edification, suspicion and strict control.
The child’s ability to love depends on the relationship between parents and children that developed before adolescence. And first love is an important feeling for a person. Loving relationships are necessary. This is the only way a teenager can get to know himself and the opposite sex in order to build a family in the future.
When interacting with a teenager, it is important to remember that no relationship is perfect. There are “good enough” people, as they say in psychology. That is, you need to learn to empathize with your child, recognize his individuality and personality.
Adolescents occupy a marginal, that is, borderline position, and the same happens with adults. When communicating with a teenager (half-child, half-adult), you need to act as both a parent and an equal partner.
You should not try to evoke respect for you using a sense of duty (“we feed you, raise you, water you”) or age (“I’m older”). So you will only meet protest. The child himself must come to respect you, based on parental support. You need to accept the child and not focus on his shortcomings. Understand, don't judge.
If a teenager talks about something, it means it is important to him. Phrases from parents like “Don’t go crazy. Is this really a problem? Here I have...”, “Stop suffering with nonsense” and the like. Listen to the child and help solve the problem. If you are convinced that his problem is a trifle, then you can help him get rid of it quickly. Teach your teenager (with facts and arguments, actions) to also consider this a trifle.

It’s easy to remember the new principle of interaction:

not orders, but requests;
not notations, but wishes;
not control, but a request to inform, and so on.

There is no optimal or uniform style. After all, your child is the one and only. You yourself must build relationships based on general principles, age and personality characteristics of your child.

Most of the scandals and vagaries in relations between parents and teenagers are explained by the reluctance of parents (or lack of understanding of the need) to change their usual style of interaction. To study the essence of whims and restructuring relationships, I recommend reading the book by E. N. Korneeva “Children's whims. What is it and how to deal with it.” The book examines in detail all age-related crises (including adolescence) and the most popular conflicts between children and parents.

Content:

What you need to know about adolescence? Why is it difficult for children?
Why is it difficult for parents?

Features of the transition period

For girls

In boys

Puberty issues

What dangers await children and parents?

How to help your child survive adolescence?

Parents' mistakes in education

How parents should behave during this difficult period

If a child falls into bad company

What actually happens to teenagers - determining the inner age of your child

Advice to parents from an expert psychologist

How to encourage positive behavior in your child

The information presented below is relevant for overcoming and preventing deviations and correcting teenage accentuations. That is, these are the basic principles of parental behavior for the successful passage of adolescence in their child.

Invite the teenager to a dialogue. A banal and simple “let’s talk?”
Praise on every occasion. You can't combine praise and scolding. Due to natural age-related negativism, a teenager will not notice praise, but will only take note of blame.
Together with the teenager, write down the desired behavior styles (relevant for both parties) and discuss them.
It is important to set real and clear boundaries, prohibitions and punishments. Teenagers often test their parents for the strength and value of their words. Keep any promises and don’t say: “I’ll kill you” (after all, you won’t, I hope). “I’ll have to turn off the Internet for a day” sounds much better and more realistic.
Do not demand immediate fulfillment of the request. The teenager should be given 5-10 minutes to think and reflect internally.
Gently remind your teenager of your responsibilities.
Always offer an alternative (or at least have one ready).
Focus on positive and desirable phenomena, ignore undesirable ones.
Agree on punishment in advance. It makes no sense to come up with a reprimand after a teenager does not sleep at home without warning. He should have known all the risks and consequences in advance.

Tips for parents

Parents often think that adolescence should proceed with minimal interference on their part, arguing that otherwise the child will not be able to develop his own point of view on the world around him and prepare for life in it. This statement is extremely dangerous for your children and yourself. If you want them to grow up to be full-fledged individuals, grateful for a good upbringing. Parental intervention in the process of a teenager’s development as a person is necessary, the main thing is not to overstep the boundaries of mutual trust.

Communication with father. During puberty, the father plays a very important role for a boy. It is the dad who has the necessary authority and experience to explain to the boy what is happening to him at this stage and why it is important. Thus, when communicating with his father, the boy will not only feel more confident in the process of all the changes happening to him, but will also adopt the social model of his father, a wise man who can always discuss any problem with his son.
Find your child a hobby. This should be done even before puberty, so that at key moments of physical and psychological development the boy always has the opportunity to release excess energy in a favorable direction, and not into crime or addiction to a computer or drugs. A correctly and timely chosen sports section will help your child not only lead a healthier lifestyle, but will also shape his body and spirit in such a way that he will be grateful to you for a long time.
Determine the level of freedom for the boy in time. One of the key parameters in becoming a real man is willpower and the ability to make decisions independently. If you timely delimit for yourself those areas of life in which you will not interfere, and provide your child with the opportunity to solve certain problems himself, then you will help him develop the above-mentioned masculine qualities. For example, when giving pocket money to your child, decide whether you will control where he spends it or not. Discuss with your family whether your child can bring guests home and under what conditions, etc. The main thing is not to forget that trust is very easy to destroy, and by promising a child something, you thereby enter into a trust agreement with him, which you undertake to fulfill. By violating it, do not be surprised that the child’s attitude towards you changes for the worse.