Do ex-married lovers come back?

Men leave a couple more often than women. Some explain this by the phenomenon of polygamy - they say, a man must “pay attention” to as many representatives of the fair sex as possible so that humanity does not die out. The role of beautiful women in all this is to give birth and raise healthy offspring. Well, let's say (although this looks more like a relationship between an inseminating bull and walking incubators).

There is also a version that the former are not so attached to the chosen one on an emotional level compared to her due to the peculiarities of brain physiology, so it is much easier for the stronger sex to initiate a breakup. So they run from one skirt to another back and forth.

If we take these two explanations as truth, then it is not clear why former lovers return to where they have already been? There are plenty of “skirts” of every color and size (more than “pants”) that will help save the planet from extinction, but the “fugitives” are often drawn back. Why, let's find out.

The husband left for his mistress

Having survived the first stress, he directed all his efforts towards restoring his relationship with his wife.
He realized that he was a bad husband, began to learn to cook, etc. This is not the only story. The main mistake of wives who decide to keep unfaithful husbands is trying too hard. Show that she is better than her opponent, focus on children, family, etc. Understand one thing: if a man has no intention of leaving, he will not leave, no matter how hard he tries or not.

If he wants, the same thing. Therefore, the best thing you can do is to speed up his departure if he is hesitating, or throw him out if he is not thinking about anything and is not going to leave.

I will explain this from a psychological point of view below. I don’t advise you to change in response - because here the result is 50/50.

Maybe he will forget his mistress and rush to bring you back, or maybe he will throw you out with a black eye. Very often, after a wife’s reciprocal betrayal, relationships improve for some time, including sexual relations.

What to do if your ex-husband returns

The main thing is not to show your interest in a man. Cold indifference in such a situation is the best thing you can do. Don’t agree to a personal meeting, he must understand that you no longer need it. The meeting will mean that you have something to say and it doesn’t matter how you present it. Leave the fire of his ego without wood.

Usually, after parting with a woman, a husband or lover quickly calms down. He is sure that he is a male, that he is happiness for any free woman, and as soon as he becomes free, the best representatives of the fairer sex will begin to fight for him. There is simply no point for him to suffer over lost love, because there is a bright future ahead and single women awaiting his freedom.

How men cope with breaking up with their lover

If the mistress has not yet changed her place of residence, then she is madly drawn to her, since her feelings do not want to cool down. The article describes what breakdowns can sometimes happen because of this powerful love, up to and including breaking up a family. But if a man has firmly chosen his family and not his mistress, then even with apparent calm he experiences the pangs of separation.

Like a film, he replays in his memory meetings with his passion, remembers her voice, face, smell.

For men, unlike women, logic prevails over feelings, so he begins to analyze rather than nurse: if he made such a choice, then he really had something to lose. This means you need to pull yourself together and go headlong:

into hobbies,
in family matters,
to sports
to work,

You need to fill your free time to drive away thoughts from your ex-lover, and time will heal the wounds.

When love is too strong

The main reason for such tossing is family obligations and powerful love on the side. There are good reasons to keep a man in the family:

He feels sorry for his wife, even though he no longer loves her. I just have a habit of her, and she won’t survive the separation.
He feels sorry for the children, as he is a wonderful father. Children will suffer if dad suddenly leaves the family.
Everything depends on the integrity of the family . Business, material wealth, relationship with relatives. And this is important.

The man tries to be an exemplary family man and makes attempts to break up with his love, but everything is useless. As soon as his mistress looms somewhere nearby, he will immediately subconsciously be drawn to her. So a guy may not be able to stand it for long, and yet decide to destroy his family if his love is lethal.

But to understand how strong his feelings are, read how to determine that a man has fallen in love with his mistress.

The ideal woman is one in two

Look at the funny kids in the sandbox. One little one comes out with a bucket and shovel, another with a dump truck, and a third with a tractor. But there is one selfish kid who roars endlessly, trying to take everything from everyone, because it would be convenient for him to pour sand with a shovel into a dump truck, make a road through the sandbox with a tractor and make Easter cakes with a bucket.

Or you've probably seen a bawling toddler in a supermarket, bending over in hysterics and demanding sweets, a jar of lollipops, a bottle of Fanta and a donut hole. He’s not happy that only grated pumpkin puree is tasty and healthy, but he can’t eat anything else. He wants to eat sweets and drink tasty drinks.

A man grows up, his whims stop, but the habit of “doing everything at once” remains. He would like to find the ideal woman, and he doesn’t care that he himself is far from this ideal. He marries the one who was more or less close to his desired standard, but then it started:

Everyday life began to kill love, especially since the couple encountered it for the first time.

Both have a “bull” character, young stubbornness rushes “from the nostrils” without concessions.

The wife is not so pretty without makeup, hair and casual clothes.

If the marriage did not immediately break up and got used to it over time, then the man will probably want to find another lady. Even if not an ideal woman on the side, then at least one who complemented his life with what he lacks. Like a dump truck and a shovel. Like puree and Fanta.

Having found the “missing half” of the whole ideal, he calms down. A typical situation is described in the article. But it often happens that the secret becomes clear, and a man has to make a choice, which is most often in favor of the family.

Time passes, and again life’s puzzles don’t fit: the man lacks the buzz that he had in a dual relationship. Quietly he sneaks back to his mistress, and if her feelings have not yet cooled down, then the romance continues. True, this time very carefully.

Does a love spell work?

Now let’s go back to the beginning of the article and find out: is it true that a love spell can help? It’s strange that many people believe in some kind of power from above, because most often mistresses don’t do this: they are already loved for their special qualities that are not present in their own wife. And the reasons for all the throwing are described above.

But sometimes a mistress turns to some kind of witch if she feels that the relationship with a man is becoming tense, and he has returned to the family. The sorceress will wave her hands, cast spells, throw the grass into the cauldron and say that everything is done.

How does this work? The mistress believes that the spells have worked, and calmly and indifferently waits - he, they say, will not get away from me. Her indifference and silence are reasons for the married man to be alarmed: what’s wrong with her? Why doesn’t she call and demand anything? Is she getting ready to get married? Or maybe call her and return her past romance?

That's the trick. But in reality, all the magic lies in a woman - she herself is an attractive force for a man with her troubles, whims, humility, passionate sex and other things. Don’t go to grandma here either.

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At the moment when the husband returns to the family from his mistress, qualified advice from a psychologist on how to behave as a woman-wife can become the saving grace for a falling apart marriage. After all, maintaining composure and choosing the best tactics of behavior when the heart is “bursting” with resentment and emotions are overwhelming is not an easy task.

Is it possible to turn everything back?

Do those who love return and how to break up in order to return? First, let's decide on the first question: do those who really love return? Always. And it’s easy to understand that a person is in love. The guy will behave something like this:

Call often, write SMS, pester on social networks.
Ask about your personal life, find out if anyone has appeared, if you are planning to get married, etc.
Try your best to schedule an appointment. If he is shy, he will cross paths with you, supposedly by accident.
Remembers the moments when you were together, jokes, trying to make you laugh. He's happy when it works out.
He cannot date anyone except you, as he openly declares.

But the question is: if he loves, why did he leave?

Those who truly love do not leave for nothing.

Now question number two: how to break up in such a way as to bring the man back?

The girl just needs to play. But under no circumstances should you give out the rules to your loved one. The game is simple - say you are breaking up. At what point to say - ask your intuition.

Do you know the feeling that if you don't take a break now, the romance will fizzle out? When is a shake-up necessary? Then act:

Tell them that you need to separate to think, switch, breathe out.
Go somewhere for a week or two.
Don't pick up the phone, don't text.

By the way, a good option not only to perk up, but also to get rid of the obsessive feeling of dependence. The latter plays a significant role. The stronger sex feels when it loses its property. Therefore, when you come back, expect that your sweetheart will come running to find out what happened, whether she found anyone, and whether the romance will continue.

Will a man come back if he left on his own?

First you need to understand the reason for leaving

It is important to look deeply, because he can leave after a banal domestic quarrel or a minor dispute. But this does not mean that the reason is precisely this dispute.

To do this, a girl should move away from emotions, cool down and think with a cool head. Maybe the reason is his lack of personal space? Or are there any problems at work or with money? Or maybe the problem is with the girl herself? No support, constant reproaches?

Having understood the reason, you can understand what the man is going to do next. In most cases, the young man is ready to return to the girl. But whether this happens or not depends not only on him, but also on the actions of the fair sex.

It is also worth noting that the young man’s decision will be influenced by factors such as the amount of time spent together, the general state of the union, the presence or absence of joint children and property. The longer you spent together, the happier the time you spent together, and the more things you consider to be in common (as cynical as that may sound), the more likely it is that your man will stay with you.

Why exes come back

It’s very simple - all decisions must be made with a cool head. Emotions are not the best advisors in such situations. That is why psychologists unanimously advise, upon learning about your husband’s infidelity, the first thing to do is:

take a time out
think and weigh
and only after that decide what you should do.

In cases of separation, advice like “Follow the first call of your soul!” does not work. If I followed the first call of my soul, all my exes would be in local traumatology. Thinking is very useful! This is a wonderful skill to teach your daughters. Before you say or even do anything, think!

So, when emotions subside, reason comes first. And the exes too. And the former, who until recently was relevant, realizes that due to his own stupidity he lost:

Is it possible to understand such a man?

Normal men never leave their women if they carry their children under their hearts. Therefore, if you were left alone when you became pregnant, you chose your chosen one incorrectly.

It is impossible to understand or justify such a man. Whatever it is, this is his child, and he appeared for a reason. A man is as responsible for the baby’s life as you are.

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There are men who after some time return to the future mother of their child. They tend to panic, but, having pulled themselves together, they begin to look at the situation soberly. Such men can be understood and forgiven, but you should not forget who you are dealing with. You can always expect a trick from such a person. But it’s still better to live with him than completely alone.

If he left without a trace, there is no point in constantly trying to get him back. If he doesn't want to listen to you, don't humiliate yourself. Such a person is not worthy of either you or your baby. It will be very difficult for you, but do not despair. Most single mothers find new partners who accept their children as their own. Be confident and your ex will understand who he lost. Life will put everything in its place, in the end, you will be a happy woman with a loving child, and he will be a lonely man, tormented by pangs of conscience.

Sooner or later, he will regret his action. He not only abandoned you, he abandoned a child who could call him daddy. Find the strength to survive all the difficulties, and you will definitely find true feminine happiness with a worthy man.

Unfortunately, it so often happens that people, in order to achieve some of their goals, begin to play with the feelings of others. Often, guys, in order to get their ex-girlfriend back or to annoy her, start dating someone else. And I feel sorry for you if you find yourself in a similar situation. The guy doesn't realize that he will hurt you. He probably doesn’t care much about your fate and your feelings. He starts the relationship out of spite and already during your relationship continues to communicate with his ex and tries to get her back. By the way, if ex-girlfriends see their boyfriend with someone else, it is difficult for them to let him go, which is why the guy has a chance again. But how you feel in this situation is of little concern to anyone.

Well, the guy is a scoundrel. After all, every person should think about how his interests can hurt someone else’s feelings. Even if the guy started a relationship with you to forget his ex, it is still wrong. After a serious relationship where there was a painful breakup, you need to wait time before starting any other relationship. So what should you do now? To begin with, just try to calm down. The point is that you should never show how much your boyfriend's leaving hurt you. There is no need to lose your dignity, persuade your loved one to return, beg him, or generally put pressure on pity. A pathetic girl, as well as a beloved and desired girl, are completely different concepts.

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It will be especially difficult for you in the first weeks after he leaves. And if you hold back and don't call, you will act very wisely. Now the guy doesn’t care about you, he is absorbed in his renewed relationship, he is on a kind of honeymoon. But after a while, romance will fade into the background again, and he and his ex-girlfriend will find themselves face to face with all past problems that are probably not resolved. You have to wait, but not just wait locked in a room. You must live very brightly and richly. I advise you to do something pleasant for yourself every day and diversify your leisure time. If you find an interesting hobby for yourself during this time, that will be great.

On the one hand, the guy returned to his ex, but he will still think about you, speculate how you are doing without him. And he will be very interested in why you don’t call, have you completely forgotten about him and don’t even miss him. Gradually, he will become more and more irritated by his relationship with his ex. Few people manage to maintain such relationships for a long time, because people rarely learn lessons from the past and even less often work on them. And I assure you, after some time you will certainly have a chance to be with your loved one again. But you shouldn’t behave in such a way that it seems to him that you can be abandoned and then, as if nothing had happened, come back.

Now you can ask your question (about relationships, beauty, self-care) and get an answer to it in the form of a separate article.

Send your questions with a description of your situation by email, we will try to answer them.

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Love or separation?

Psychologists insist that you can break up while experiencing love, and you can also return without experiencing any loving feelings. In order for a woman to correctly understand what her ex wants from her and whether it’s worth returning to him, she needs to start with her motives. So, the woman wants to know if the man who suddenly showed up loves her. He could have broken up with her out of stupidity. But if people love their exes, they always come back. And to understand that you are loved, you need to look at behavior that will be something like this:

He often writes to you, calls you, corresponds on social networks.
He asks you about your personal life to understand his chances of winning you back or winning you back.
He talks to you about the past, remembers pleasant moments. Trying to make jokes to make you smile. He is happy when he succeeds.
Trying to ask you out on a date. If you refuse, then he deliberately intersects with you, as if by accident.
He is not dating anyone, which he talks about openly, and does not intend to do so, because he wants to restore relations with you.

Why does a person who loves leave? Here the reasons often lie in problematic relationships. If a man loves and tries to return, it means that this problem has already exhausted itself or can be solved.

This method helps to stir up feelings and get rid of the routine that has arisen in the relationship. This method also helps women arouse a little interest in themselves from men who begin to feel that they are losing their property.

Psychology says

Why do men come back after a breakup? Everything is primitive. The main reason for all returns is insight. That is, the understanding that you cannot find a better passion. Perhaps the ex met someone else, perhaps he tried to build a relationship, but the other one turned out to be, roughly speaking, “not a fountain.” She has a difficult character or bad habits, or even worse - she is bad in bed. This is where it turns out that finding a worthy replacement is not so easy. No, of course, it’s easy to find; it’s not easy to have a long-term relationship. After all, for this you need to adapt, adapt, learn better, and so on. For a man, this is a whole heap of problems.

Let's see what else will trigger your ex's return to your arms?

If a guy is not married, he may find himself under pressure from relatives: how long will you be single? Desperate, he will take it and return to you. At least for a while. To leave him alone.

The reason will also be a fear of loneliness or banal ordinary needs: no one to walk with, go to the cinema, to parties, etc. At one point he realizes that he was never as comfortable with anyone as he was with you.

Also - inspiration, praise, laughter from his unfunny jokes and most importantly - sex. If you can somehow live without the first three, then you can’t live without the fourth. But the former lover doesn’t want to have sex with just anyone - after all, he’s not an animal! Therefore, he returns to an already proven girl.

It happens that the reason is mistaken love. That is, during separation, the partner idealizes the image of his girlfriend (this often happens) and supposedly falls in love again. And it happens that, after talking with others, a guy “knows everything in comparison” and thinks that he can’t find anything better than you.

And, of course, true love. This is the most pleasant reason for a woman. And he left, for example, because he got a little confused:

In the heat of the moment he ran for the first short skirt (they tricked him, but he, the fool, fell for it!).
I decided to return to my wife and become an example (which turned out to be boring).

Don't flatter yourself. It’s not uncommon for an ex, especially a married one, to use the word love to hide the main reason they came back: sex. Perhaps you're amazing in bed? Well, or so it seems to the dear one after long, insipid years of family life. Unlike other lovers or spouses, you:

You are hungry for experiments.
Charge with adrenaline.
Think and act creatively.

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The man also comes back because he seeks to get rid of moral pressure. If at home he is forced to report, listen and silently provide his brain for sawmill services, then with his beloved girlfriend it’s the opposite. And if you are one of those lovers who does not require meeting friends, going out together, getting married and having a child, then you are just a treasure for a married suitor. Don't be surprised that he doesn't want to break up forever.

Well, the last arguments on this issue:

You alone understood his pain. Maybe the guy has special personal problems that he confided only to you.

Jealousy. God forbid someone else will possess your ex.
Significance. He is pleased by the fact that you were waiting for his call. After all, they didn’t refuse.
Avoiding problems (any).

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Don't go back to exes who don't love you, eventually.

Do not return to former loved ones who do not love you! It’s not for nothing that there is an expression that says let your loved one go and see: if after some time he returns to you, it means he loves you, and if not, it means he never loved you. Then why torture yourself and try to return someone who doesn’t love you? Better spend this effort on making your life happy next to someone who loves you.

Why do you need this? Life is an amazing thing; very often it likes to bring back into the lives of loving people those whom they once loved. And it is possible that someday you will have to face the person who once abandoned you because he did not love you. Just don’t think that it will be joy! Once again, carefully think about the saying that was outlined earlier. If the other person left you, but after some time came back to start a relationship, this would indicate that he has some kind of warm feelings for you. But if fate brought you together by chance, for some business or simply because you have mutual friends, then this does not mean the feelings of the other person, you just ended up in the same place, at the same time.

And so that your warm feelings do not play a cruel joke on you, you must, during the period of your loneliness, completely cool down towards the one who left you. Don't love, don't wait, don't dream, don't hope, don't do anything if it's in any way connected with your ex-lover. Remember the following: if a person does not love you, then separation from him will only cool his feelings; if a person loves you, then he will understand his mistake and return to you himself.

To prevent a possible future meeting with him from bringing you even more suffering and grief, completely get rid of your love for another person. But just get rid of it, and not muffle it or ignore it. And when your meeting happens, you will be completely free from the desire to please your ex-partner. You will look soberly at the one who once abandoned you, and you will not feel any anger, no hatred, no joy, nothing. This is exactly the state you must achieve during your period of loneliness, so that your ex-partner does not evoke in you absolutely no emotions, feelings and desires, neither positive nor negative.

This way you will protect yourself from possible disappointments. Your future meeting could be either good news or bad news for you, depending on how your ex-lover treats you. And so that this very event does not cause you pain, it is better not to depend on the love of your partner at all. Free yourself from your own feelings for another person, get rid of the slightest influence of the feelings, words or mood of your former loved one on you, only then go out into the world where you can meet him.

Let's take a typical story. The parting was difficult, the emotions were terrible, a lot of wine was drunk, and your friends were tired of your complaints.

Time passes, you calm down, life takes on colors, a new admirer appears - a cure for heart wounds and an incentive to gain confidence. Finally, you breathe fully and feel needed!

But suddenly he calls - his ex. And for some reason he asks to meet. No, he wouldn’t mind meeting several times! That is, go back. For what? Why? Does he really love it? Or did you smell something wrong?

Sound familiar? Then this is the place for you. Let's understand the mysterious psychology of men together.

Why does he want to come back?

Entering a midlife crisis, a man suddenly realizes that all his victories, including in intimate terms, are left behind, he is no longer as young and not as desirable as before. His worldview begins to change dramatically. Frightened by the loss of his own importance, he can’t think of anything better than to assert himself on the side, replacing his boring wife and family life with a new hobby, new sensations and emotions with a new passion. It would seem that here it is, a new life, live and rejoice! But not everything is as rosy as we would like.

Quite a bit of time passes, the flurry of emotions subsides a little, and it turns out that everything is not as good in the new relationship as he would like. It turns out that he is no longer that sexual giant who can gush with inexhaustible passion around the clock (which is what a young companion needs). And her cooking tastes bad, and she can’t clean it properly. The man realizes that in the new family everything that was before awaits him - all the same family responsibilities, the same way of life and the same fatigue.

But now it’s much harder for him. After all, before they understood him and accepted him for who he really is. And now we have to rebuild relationships, adapt to another person. And sometimes the whims of a new passion, her demands become simply unbearable. He just wants to run back to the one who always understood his fatigue, supported him, tried to listen, without demanding anything in return.

Hidden motives

To the question: why do men return after a breakup, psychology has a simple answer - they are owners. This is the main ulterior motive. Men are divided into two categories: those who are aware of the motive and boast about it, considering a disadvantage as an advantage, and those who do not realize that they are driven by a sense of ownership. But this does not change the matter in any way, because this reason is closely related to the passion of the stronger sex for accumulating their achievements. For what:

Questions: when, how and why the lady agrees - we will skip. But what agrees is acceptable. What's next? And then nothing new. After a while, your loved one will get bored again. Or a more tempting passion will appear on the horizon. After all, the ex, no matter what a man says, no longer gives those sensations that he is looking for, those that were in the beginning - drive and novelty. And it's not about the lady. The fact is that this is a specific type of person. The formula is as follows: to feel interest with renewed vigor, you need to move away. And sometimes without explanation, because he himself doesn’t know whether it’s forever.

Perhaps there will be another victim. Or you won't find a more interesting lover. If one of the two options happens, consider yourself lucky.

Secrets of male psychology

Guys deliberately enter into serious relationships. Fleeting romances of a day/two/week are not of much importance to them. They clearly understand what kind of partner is needed according to today’s emotional background and life circumstances. The dissimilarity of male and female thinking gives rise to many conflicts. If the weaker half gives priority to feelings, experiences and words, guys prefer to act rather than conquer and convince with verbal arguments.

Often, the initiators of breaking up long-term serious relationships are girls who find it emotionally easier to cope with the current situation. It is not common for men to notice details, trifles, analyze the behavior, and mood swings of their beloved halves.

Top 5 common mistakes women make after a breakup

Of course, each life situation is individual and worthy of careful study. But still, there are some rules that will help not to mess things up and save the relationship. The first thing I recommend to all women is to behave with dignity, not to panic and not to make hasty decisions. Hasty actions almost always make the situation worse.

What you definitely shouldn't do:

Reproach a man, call him to his conscience, call him daily or send messages on social networks. This will lead to your lover hiding from you, blacklisting your number and blocking access to their accounts.
Set up supposedly random meetings on the street, stalk, communicate with the man’s relatives and friends, begging them to help. This behavior will further alienate you from each other.
Threaten with suicide, violence, revenge. This will create an opinion of you as an inadequate person and will strengthen the correctness of his decision. Over time, resentment and emotions will go away, but the residue from impulsive actions and unworthy behavior will remain.
Arrange surveillance of the man himself and his new partner. Involve male acquaintances and work colleagues in this unworthy activity.
Cherish your misfortune, constantly beat yourself up, remembering traumatic events. This can block your personal life and your attractiveness.

And you shouldn’t isolate yourself and live with past grievances. “Canned” pain is a difficult test not only for the psyche, but also for the entire energy system. This negativity will destroy you from the inside and attract all kinds of troubles from the outside. In such an atmosphere you will not be able to act effectively.

Is the help of a magician needed in such a situation? Of course, professional help from an experienced shaman will be useful and effective in any situation. Contact us and you will receive professional help. I will not use violent methods to create emotional attachment, but I will help restore energy losses and create favorable conditions to return true reciprocity and former feelings. If there is even the most minimal chance of restoring the relationship, it will be realized, I will do everything to make this happen as soon as possible.

Scarred relationships can never be repaired

Moments like these are rarely forgotten. After a guy cheated on you, you will be left with a lot of insecurities. You will never be able to trust him the same way you did before. This will create a lot of bitterness in your relationship. Even if you decide to forgive him and let him back into your life, deep down you will never forget this incident, and very often this topic will be raised and will be an argument for you in many quarrels. To avoid all these disappointments and have a peaceful life, you should not take the guy back.

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Why do men leave relationships with their mistresses and return to their wives?

Not every betrayal leads to divorce, not every mistress becomes a wife. Most women are sure that after a whirlwind romance, the husband will certainly leave his mistress and return home to his family.

How to understand that your husband has left his mistress

Some signs indicate that a man has ended a third-party relationship and abandoned his mistress:

the husband began to pay more attention to the woman;
he spends more time with his family;
began to give gifts and surprises;
does not hide the phone and computer page with open mail;
does not stay late at work, refuses overtime and business trips.

In a word, the man feels guilty and wants to improve his relationship with his wife.

Why do many men return to their wives after cheating?

Husbands return to their wives after cheating because they realize they were wrong: Men are aware of the fact that during their affair they were not able to think rationally.

Most often, men's hobbies with other women are based on fantasy, not reality. The other woman seems to offer something that is missing in life and therefore can solve the problems or relieve some of the man's stress. But over time, men come to the conclusion that their assumptions were not accurate.

At first, romantic relationships seem easy, fresh and new. But in the end, the husband begins to see his mistress with clear eyes, and the betrayal too. All the fairy dust and magic of love dissipates. The other woman usually begins to show who she really is and becomes like a wife with the same demands. And the husband eventually realizes that he has not received anything new.

Relationships also end because of the guilt experienced by the man. Cheating can last until a married man sees his wife’s reaction, her pain and resentment. Then he realizes what a huge mistake he has made.

The terrible feeling of guilt for betraying someone who completely trusted and loved you often makes a person realize the seriousness of what he did.

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Another reason why men leave their mistresses is love for their wife. Husbands love their wives despite cheating. Men share intimate relationships on the side and family.

This is difficult for women to understand, but this is purely male thinking, and it is, according to psychologists, biologically programmed in the brain of a man. Literally, men can separate and separate physical intimacy and emotional attachment.

When cheating, a man compares his mistress to his wife and realizes that his wife is the only one who offers any stability.

Fear of the unknown is a huge incentive to end the affair and return to their wives: Many married men cannot overcome deep and extreme doubts about the complications that will arise from abandoning their wife and children for another woman. The consequences can be very severe, from psychological to financial. It is these doubts that help a man make a choice in favor of a wife and not a mistress.

Eventually, cheating husbands may come to believe that they are trying to live in a fantasy world that cannot last long or be healthy.

Usually at this point it becomes very clear that he would be much better off staying at home and solving his family problems.

Despite the deception, men stay to give their children a stable family, especially if they are not yet grown up. Regardless of whether a man gets along with his wife, his children can force him to stay in the marriage for their sake.

How to live after your husband's betrayal

If the wife becomes aware of her husband’s infidelity, it is very difficult to restore the relationship after this. A woman, even if she forgives a man, is unlikely to be able to forget about his action, and will remind him of it when the opportunity arises. To bring the relationship between spouses back to normal requires a lot of effort on both sides.

As you can see, betrayal is a difficult test for both partners. But divorce is a last resort. First you need to try to save the relationship and try to restore trust and love in the couple.

Scenarios of behavior to return your loved one

The choice of the right tactics depends on the reasons for the breakup, so it’s worth starting from them. Even a premonition that the ex will return can deceive if you provoke proceedings in every possible way, insist on continuing communication, or, conversely, look unapproachable.

Left for someone else

The betrayal of a loved one is perceived as a strong blow to pride. The main thing here is to save your own face, not to stoop to revenge or surveillance. A man will return only after feeling that his lost love was better, more reliable. This requires time and decent behavior. It’s better to part ways on a friendly note, express how painful it is, how sad it is to lose him, but show that no one is holding him. Understand that men only want someone who loves herself. Therefore, instead of suffering, take care of yourself, development, and analysis of mistakes. Don't call, don't write, don't look for meetings. Time will pass, he will show up on his own. The main thing is not to show how you suffer, and also not to fall into the arms of other men.

Ate everyday life

A strict definition describes all the symptoms of housewives. If you got dressed and got your nails done just after leaving your home, the man will miss the one he fell in love with. Also, restrictions and deprivation of the opportunity to engage in your favorite hobby often force you to leave and take a break for freedom. Reconsider your attitude towards household chores. Maybe it’s worth saving up for home appliances in order to delegate some of the responsibilities to her, handing over children to grandmothers more often, or taking them to a baby club on weekends. An exhausted wife, no matter how cruel it may sound, scares away even a loving husband. Love yourself, take care of yourself.

Eternally busy

The complete opposite of maternity maids and housewives, a notorious careerist. If at home you are thinking about work, talking only about fulfilling the plan, working part-time at home on weekends, your partner will look for tenderness and care on the side or among friends. Love must come from both, you cannot be married at work. You need to decide what is more important, personal happiness or a high position. Usually these two things are incompatible.

Manipulation

Another factor that destroys a marriage. You cannot force your desires to come true through refusal of sex or other threats. Men immediately recognize the one who only needs money or connections from them. Such a union cannot exist for long. In an alliance there must be dialogue and trust. Maybe you should look for an equal partner, and not someone you can push around. Usually, after a breakup, men return to those who give them warmth and love when they feel important. Be the one who is ready to give them these feelings.

What will a psychologist advise if the prodigal husband returns?

Scandals and hysterics are behind us. You have come to terms with his departure and the fact that now you need to start your life again. But then he appears on the doorstep with a suitcase and a guilty look. If your husband returns from his mistress, how to behave. Is it worth being the same as before or do you need to change something in your life?

It is a mistake to remind about what happened at every further showdown. You shouldn't do that. If you have forgiven or accepted back, behave with dignity.

So, you have forgiven and accepted back. What to do next? You need to build trust. Be prepared for unreasonable jealousy. He will stay at work a little longer, and you are already making up a story for yourself, you will torment him with jealousy, constant calls, checks (sometimes some women even manage to keep an eye on their beloved ones). This won't last you long. A person who has returned his family has the right to another chance and trust.

Become interesting to him. If before you completely dissolved in it, now find yourself hobbies (embroidery, drawing, theater, music). By learning to devote time only to yourself, you will become independent and interesting. Or maybe even your new hobby will become your small profitable business, which will also give you financial independence.
Don't ask him to account for every step. Forgiven - trust! If you can't, you always have a choice.
Love yourself. Start playing sports, take care of yourself, update your wardrobe. Delight him with your new look. Even if he is tormented by remorse for wanting to leave such a woman.
Don't try to be a bitch, but don't fawn over him either. Be natural. Don't be rude to him. Don’t try to constantly remind him of his mistake or sort things out. You have let him into your life again, now your task is to create a cozy atmosphere so that he is not pulled to the left again.

Don't excite his feelings and don't force him to constantly apologize to you. He's having a hard time right now. Yes, I was wrong, but I realized my mistake and apologized to you. But he is not obliged to constantly ask for forgiveness; there is no need to force him to do this, catering to his own pride.

And now your relationship is only in your hands. And how you can build them depends only on whether you still love this person, whether you are ready to live the rest of your life with him after his action. Be wise, be above insults and hysterics.

When passions rage in a relationship

What are young people usually guided by when they decide to get married? They usually choose a life partner based on standard qualities:

Men: for the wife to be beautiful, a good housewife and mother.
Women: so that the husband is hard-working and provides prosperity for the family.

But almost no one ever thinks about sexual temperament. There is sex at night - and it’s good. A little later it becomes ordinary, without “strawberries and peppers”.

And this is very important, especially for men. But not all women want to experiment in bed. They consider oral sex, role-playing games and sex toys to be perversion, and no matter how you “break” such a lady completely, she flatly refuses.

And the man thinks about it. You can’t get the thoughts out of your head, and you want to make your dreams come true. Prostitutes are not an option, and they are expensive. So he finds the same temperament on the side, for whom experiments are also a thrill.

Usually such lovers are married: he is married and she is married. Everything in their families suits them, but sex for both is not up to par. Adrenaline also flows because lovers have a constant fear of being caught, and this kind of extreme sex is exactly what they need.

They are satisfied with a lot in the relationship:

The presence of a lover’s family protects them from the obligation to change something in their personal life.
There is no need to be afraid of blackmail and some kind of infection, as can be the case in a sexual relationship with a prostitute.
There is no need to spend money on promoting your partner for some type of sex, because sex itself is all that unites them.

Any alarm bell that their pranks are becoming known to someone can separate lovers for a long time. They both value their families, and sex is not a reason for a family breakup. When the danger has passed, they return to their shared bed.

But just a lonely lover can also be a woman for a man who relieves sexual tension. She knows about this and tries not to make plans for him. But she doesn’t want to just be an “honest giver”: she finds benefits in the form of gifts from him and monetary rewards.

Such lovers can also separate for a long time and return as the man becomes “locked in.” Week, month, year - it doesn’t matter. But the craving of sexual desire makes itself felt at some point.

In such a love triangle, the only pity is the wife if she suddenly finds out about her husband’s passion, but does not want to part with him for anything in the world. What should I do in her case? Learn sexual art. But first you need to do everything that is written about in the article How to bring back passion in a relationship with your husband.

Will my married lover leave his family for me?

If your spouse goes into the next room every time he calls, always puts his mobile handset on silent mode, and keeps his mobile phone only near him, then you should check his phone numbers, messages or photos. As a rule, men record their mistresses under a completely different name, for example, “Vasya office.” You need to take note of such names. Check the man's phone

Underwear. If your spouse has been choosing underwear for himself for a long time, trying to wear something sexy and beautiful, then you should do one experiment - give your husband torn socks. If he doesn't want to put them on, then there's something wrong here. Most likely, your husband is cheating on you and plans to take off his shoes outside the home.
Alcohol. Have you noticed that your spouse often returns from work a little drunk, even though he has never drank alcohol before? As a rule, men try to mask the foreign smell of a woman in this way.

Why did he want to return

Every person who wants to restore a broken relationship has certain motives. Psychologists identify several common reasons that motivate guys to return.

He realizes he's making a mistake

People sometimes make rash decisions, succumbing to emotions, and then regret it. Men with high moral qualities often return to former lovers. They think that without their support the woman will have a hard time and her life will inevitably get worse.

He's tired of being alone

Having been a bachelor, a man begins to notice that there is no longer any tasty food in the refrigerator, the house has become dirty, and his shirts remain wrinkled. Loneliness forces the guy to solve all everyday problems on his own. If the lovers jointly paid for utilities, then the man’s desire to return may also be due to his commercialism.

Disappointment in other women

Some guys are accustomed to seeing certain qualities in their chosen one and expect the same from new partners. But not every lady sees herself in the role of a housewife, mother and passionate lover. As a result, a person suffers from a lack of care and affection. This explains why guys sometimes go back to their ex-girlfriends.

Hidden motives

Why do men return? Psychologists give a simple answer - they are all owners. Men always want to know that all the women they have ever slept with or wanted to conquer are still waiting for them, needing them, missing them. These are the hidden motives of possessiveness:

This does not depend on whether the man is single or married. If he has left a woman and for a long time cannot attract the attention of other ladies, interest him, seduce him, make him his mistress, then he returns to his ex - a young lady who has already been conquered earlier. If the ex agrees to see each other and is glad to communicate, then this calms the man down - everything is fine with him, it’s just that some women have been angry and unfriendly.

There may also be such a scenario as a man deliberately distancing himself from a woman in order to refresh his feelings. Nothing evokes passion better than temporary separation. When the man shows up again, he takes the woman to bed in order to take possession of her with new emotions and experiences.