All life on the planet is conventionally divided into polygamy and monogamy. Man is polygamous by nature, but public opinion, etiquette and the emotional component of people require them to be faithful to only one partner. However, many countries in the world allow polygamous marriages, which suits both men and women.
A polygamist is a person who is in a relationship with multiple partners.
What is polygamy
The issue of polygamy is widespread in modern relationship psychology. It is customary to condemn such a lifestyle, especially if a person is in a marital relationship. On the other hand, in many countries around the world, culture and traditions allow for multiple wives and husbands. Thus, the definition of polygamy is having more than one partner in an intimate relationship.
Expanding the question more broadly, what is polygamy? It is polygamy, more often polygamy, the ability to have several partners at the same time.
Note! Polygyny is socially sanctioned, accepted, and practiced by many cultures.
In order to understand this concept, you need to understand other meanings of relationships. The counterbalance to polygamy is monogamy, i.e. marital relationship with only one partner. Monogamous is associated with the concept of faithful, not prone to betrayal. However, statistics note that monogamy is not inferior to polygamy in the form of marriage relations. Moreover, the American researcher, George Murdoch, conducted a comparative analysis of more than 500 different societies and noted the acceptance of polygamy in 80% of cases.
Polygamy in men and women
Briefly examining the concept of what polygamy is, it is polygamy. In nature, the distinction by this criterion is clearer than in humans. There are monogamous and polygamous females and males. Some “remain faithful” to their only partner even after his death (pigeons), others breed and reproduce annually (cats, dogs).
This concept is very controversial among people. When someone is married and does not allow even the thought of cheating, he is monogamous. If one of the spouses has a lover or mistress on the side, he is called a polygamous person. It is impossible to say which is better: to be polygamous or monogamous. The rest depends only on the worldview of the individual himself.
It is impossible to answer which relationship is better
Scientists view male polygamy as a desire to reproduce, since the male part of the world's population is inferior to the female one. Reasoning from a psychological point of view, polygamy can act as an inferiority complex, as well as a desire to show one’s success, status and wealth (being successful among women is considered prestigious among men). History shows clear examples of high-ranking men having several wives, even harems of about 800 women.
Female polygamy is a rarer phenomenon, at least it is not customary to declare it openly. Despite the fact that the term polyandry (polyandry) exists in nature and culture, society has a negative attitude towards this. In fact, a woman may be in search of a healthier and stronger partner, which is due to instincts. Although women can be guided by complexes and psychological problems, having several partners.
Pros and cons of such relationships
The attraction to this type of relationship may be unconscious, but natural. A person or other creature is guided by the instinct of survival. Considering what people had to go through in history (wars, epidemics, genocide, natural disasters), demography was constantly thrown out of balance, which encouraged humanity to reproduce.
There is a lot of debate about what polygamous relationships are, whether they are acceptable, and whether they bring pleasure. Still, among people more than those who preach monogamy dream of a one-time marriage with a single partner with whom they can live their lives. Polygamous relationships are those in which an individual has more than one relationship. This form of relationship is legal in many countries of the world, but is condemned by adherents of traditional family relationships, where there is only one husband and one wife.
Entering into this kind of relationship should be discussed in advance, since one partner may be satisfied with this, while the other may be offended. Modern society considers such a concept in relationships as consensual non-monogamy or simply open relationships. However, at some point it happens that one partner falls deeply in love with the other, which is why he no longer wants to share his soul mate with anyone. Jealousy, rash words and actions arise against this background, nervous experiences that have never benefited anyone.
Being in a polygamous relationship does not mean cheating
Male polygamy
From time immemorial, young ladies have been interested in why men are polygamous. Does male polygamy exist in reality or is it a myth invented by the sons of Adam themselves in order to justify their own lust?
Most representatives of the stronger half justify their promiscuity, constant betrayal and numerous love affairs with their own nature. Why is it such a widespread opinion in society that representatives of the stronger sex are polygamous? This misconception goes back to primitive culture and ancient instincts. The first primitive communities of people needed to survive in rather difficult conditions. The key to their survival was the number of people, so primitive men sought to impregnate the maximum number of women.
In addition, over the centuries, bloody wars destroyed the male population, which created the need to increase the number of boys. Therefore, harems in those days were not a luxury, but a vital necessity. Hence the birth of boys was a great joy. The situation described has remained unchanged for thousands of years. Therefore, it is not at all surprising that even after the development of a civilized society, the emergence of the institution of marriage and the legislative framework, it is still difficult for many men to restrain their own lustful impulses.
After all, this instinct is several hundred thousand years old, while cultural norms that insist on the need to remain faithful to a partner are only about three thousand years old.
Thus, even if we assume that men are physiologically predisposed to polygamy, then one cannot deny the rationality of a human being. Homo sapiens still differs from the rest of the animal world in the presence of intelligence and the ability to resist the call of nature. Therefore, there is nothing impossible for men to remain faithful to their partners.
Also, do not forget that in ancient times polygamy was a consequence of harsh living conditions. It was not originally characteristic of people. In addition, men who advocate polygamy and justify their promiscuity by their polygamous nature need to understand that the main meaning of polygamy among their ancestors was procreation, and not the satisfaction of lust. Therefore, one’s own debauchery and the desire for self-affirmation by increasing the number of intimate partners should not be justified by nature if there is no intention to obtain offspring from all of them. Nature has nothing to do with it. The only reason for this is indulging one’s own whims, solving psychological problems, lack of moral principles and banal debauchery.
Thus, polygamy of the stronger half is significantly exaggerated. This is a myth invented by men themselves in order to “legalize” infidelity and neutralize the significance of the institution of marriage and the role of women in it. For the most part, polygamy is determined by social norms and traditions established in a certain community of people.
Many scientists, speaking in favor of polygamy, refer to Muslim countries, losing sight, first of all, of their religiosity and historical determinant. In Islamic countries, polygamy reigned as a result of historical development, becoming a social norm that developed in families over a long period. It is the unshakable Muslim norms, their traditions, foundations that maintain order, peace and harmony in marital relations. But this way of things among Islamists in no way proves the natural polygamy of Muslim husbands.
Reasons for polygamy
How to motivate a man correctly
The simple explanation for polygamy is a natural survival instinct. A person unconsciously strives to reproduce. This is far from the only reason. There are both good and non-negative reasons that guide people in open relationships. For example, men and women may “select” partners in an attempt to compensate for some inferiority complex.
Note! Women may choose polygamy due to self-esteem (both low and high). Men show their superiority in this way.
On the other hand, the reasons may be physiological. There are people who do not put intimacy as their first priority, and many even consciously refuse intimacy. Others enter into relationships just for the sake of intimacy. Sometimes they lack one partner due to increased temperament.
However, polygamy is considered traditional in some countries of the world, for example, among those who preach the Islamic religion, polygamy is in the order of things. It is noteworthy that in Nepal a woman is allowed to have more than one spouse. Moreover, there are families that marry several couples: they all live together, run the household and raise children together.
What is polygamy expressed in?
Crisis in relationships and family life by year - features
It is interesting to speculate what it means if a person is polygamous. Such a lifestyle does not mean that an individual plans to have several marriage partners. Moreover, no one is initially motivated by the desire to have several partners. In modern society, polygamy has been softened to a so-called open relationship.
It is human nature to experiment. Men look at the partners of their friends, women evaluate the lovers of their friends. Some countries allow you to “swap” partners. Of course, this will seem wild to some, but for some people this is the absolute norm. There are dating services aimed at this kind of open relationships.
Polygamous families raising children together
Some people will think that there is no love in polygamy, but this is not true. Maybe not everyone, but many people have experienced romantic feelings towards several people at once. What often happens is that the “old” partner is abandoned in favor of a new one, but over time, the previous relationship can resume. This is usually called infidelity, although in European countries this situation would not be made into a problem.
The social component of this view
Personal growth - what is it?
Sociology views the family as a unit of society. Social stereotypes favor that a couple should be monogamous. But not everyone can keep themselves within limits, in other words, monogamy (like polygamy) is not for everyone.
Having understood what polygamy is, it is still impossible to answer unequivocally whether it is good or bad. It all depends on what motivates a person, as well as on his nature, essence, views on life and existence in general. For example, in Christianity monogamy is traditional, a man and a woman should be faithful only to each other. In Islam it is different: traditional relationships are polygamous marriage.
You cannot be critical of what an individual chooses for himself. Just like you shouldn’t impose your opinion, whatever it may be. When entering into a relationship, it is worth warning your partner about your intentions. For example, there are people who can prohibit their significant other from communicating with the opposite sex, including old friends, and the partner will accept this. If both people in a couple agree to have an open relationship, there is nothing wrong with that.
Types of polygamy
Polygamous is a type of person who prefers to enter into relationships with several partners. The more common type is the one in which the man has several partners. This phenomenon is called polygyny and goes back to ancient times. Men have long dealt with life's danger, be it hunting an animal, hostility for territory, or war. The man left for prey, victory, but might not return.
Note! Since ancient times, women began to deliberately gather in groups, help each other with housework, and also give birth and raise children to maintain numbers.
Polyandry is one woman having several men. It is much less common than polygyny, but it also occurs in the modern world. The story tells of ancient families where one woman was married to several men belonging to another family, brothers. This was done in order not to divide their own household and leave it in one family.
A more modern form of polygamy is called group marriage. This means that several couples are united into one family. They not only live together as neighbors, but run a common household and raise children together.
What's in religion?4
Christianity only accepts monogamy. According to the Bible, a man can only be happy if he loves one woman. It is for this reason that God created the pair of Adam and Eve as the ideal of a highly spiritual marriage.
In Judaism, polygamy is not prohibited, but it is possible only under certain circumstances, for example, if the first wife is barren, but the family must be continued. However, monogamy is still considered sacred for the protection of women.
Buddhism by its nature is not judgmental, this also applies to multiple marriages, but it also does not welcome them, they rather go beyond the scope of religion. But Tibetan Buddhists accept one woman having two spouses at once.
Hinduism allows polygamous relationships as long as they do not create problems, thus degrading the man.
Islam is the only world religion that has always approved of polygamy, which is due to the ancient cultural and social context.
Polygamy in the modern world
Many thoughts have been expressed about what polygamy is. The only thing that can be stated with certainty is that there is no clear answer to the question of the advantages and disadvantages of polygamy.
Modern society views monogamy as a sign of sincere love, fidelity, and trust in a relationship. On the other hand, it is becoming an outdated concept, and divorce statistics are cited as proof, especially against the backdrop of infidelity. Thus, polygamy is being put forward as an alternative to healthy long-term relationships, of course, if the partners agree.
However, it is monogamy that emotionally brings together people connected by sincere feelings, and not driven by natural instincts. People who are confident in their partner experience less anxiety about the safety of the relationship. Although polygamous couples claim that all this can be experienced in an open relationship.
Is it worth fighting polygamy in men?
There are separate debates on the topic of polygamy of different sexes; statistics are given of men and women who cannot share relationships with only one partner. Moreover, it is classically believed that the great majority of men cannot be in monogamous relationships, so many ladies are seriously thinking about how to “wean” a man from polygamy.
It would be easier to say that one should come to terms with the fact of polygamy of man as a living being. The truly monogamous representatives of the fauna can be counted on one hand; people are not one of them. However, people are the few who are capable of sincere love. It is believed that in love it is necessary to remain faithful; there is no place for lies in relationships. However, men and women often make the wrong choice, fall in love again and again try to renew the feelings of “sincerity” and “loyalty”.
A woman can achieve monogamy from a man
Much depends on the woman in this case. As modern folk wisdom says: “A man differs from a child only in that an adult’s toys are more expensive than children’s.” A woman can keep a man from polygamy by regularly proving that she respects him, feels his importance, that is, complimenting him even for minor feats, just like with children. The point is to confirm your man's superiority over others in some specific matter where he behaves masterfully and feels comfortable.
Polygamy and domestic mentality
Despite the fact that many countries in the world support polygamy, the domestic Russian mentality is in resistance to this phenomenon. This is also contrary to the Orthodox religion. Parents teach their children from childhood that they need to be faithful, sincere and loving.
Note! The domestic mentality does not welcome polygamy.
Modern young people justify their polygamy with the words “I need to have some fun,” “I’ll have time to settle down,” and “I need to try everything in life.” This destroys many relationships, leaving an imprint on the future personal lives of people who have experienced betrayal. Despite the fact that the term “open relationship” is quite popular among young people, often such couples feel deceived and even humiliated after going through such an experience.
Many marriages break up because a person is polygamous. However, a lot depends on the emotional relationship in the couple. If a man and woman are able to support each other morally, they will not have to look for consolation on the side. If they can maintain friendship in relationships, trust (we are talking about being able to speak and listen), and are able to correctly and peacefully resolve conflict situations, then they will be able to live a long monogamous life.
A couple can be happy with any choice of relationship
Polygamy has a controversial assessment. It is considered part of the culture and traditions of some countries and an outright taboo in others. The main reason for polygamy is natural instincts. Having common sense and emotionality, a person tries in every possible way to replace this quality with the opposite of monogamy.
Stereotypes regarding polygamy5
Until now, this phenomenon is perceived by people very ambiguously, causes a lot of controversy and attracts public attention. An interesting situation has developed around it, filled more with prejudices than with scientific conclusions.
Nowadays, it has become popular to use polygamy as an excuse for male infidelity. Allegedly, such behavior is inherent in the genes of the stronger sex by nature itself, and the main task of men is to leave behind a large offspring. Achieving a better result in this is possible only in conditions of polygamy.
That is, it is the key to preserving the human population. This same point of view explains why women are monogamous. Their role in nature is to preserve existing offspring, and not to multiply them. This is exactly how men look at polygamy, which has no scientific basis.
As well as the opinion that men are more prone to polygamy than women.
