Egoism: how to recognize an egoist - stages, types, tips for treatment

How to recognize an egoist?

In any situation, an egoist strives to satisfy his own needs, regardless of the interests of the people around him. The negative qualities of an egoist are sometimes not immediately visible. To recognize an egoist, you must first pay attention to such behavioral features as:

tendency to blame others for one’s own failures;
inability to listen;
unshakable confidence in one’s own rightness;
ignoring comments;
tendency to brag;
attempts to manipulate others;
display of material wealth;
desire to be the center of attention;
the tendency to evaluate people by wealth, success, intelligence and other “status” characteristics.

If a person systematically demonstrates several of the listed signs, you have a natural egoist.

Signs in men and women

With healthy egoism, a man or woman tries to satisfy their needs and interests without harming other people. They predict the further outcome of the actions taken and are aimed at obtaining benefits, which is a normal state. With abnormal egoism, a person tries to get as many benefits as possible without giving anything and using other people to achieve the goal.

In relationships, egoists are guided only by their own interests and live for themselves. Their partners must fulfill their wishes and whims in return for “love.” Such consumer relationships are similar to a “you - for me, I - for you” deal. For example, a woman asks for new shoes, after purchasing which the man will be able to go fishing. The life of such people is like a scheme: if the egoist does not get what he needs, his partner will not receive anything in return. Other signs of selfishness are:

Inability to listen to the interlocutor.
Non-recognition and ignoring the comments of others.
Search for those “to blame” for any failures.
Confidence in one's own constant correctness.
Boasting.
A sense of personal exclusivity.
Frequent manipulation of people.
Display of wealth.
Constant desire to attract attention.
Dividing people into hierarchical levels.

A selfish guy or girl builds relationships only out of profit. They are able to build long-term relationships only with those partners who will satisfy their demands, which are not necessarily material in nature, although they cannot give anything in return. If the egoist does not get what he demands, scandals arise, and the relationship can end at any moment.

An egoist does not evaluate his partner as a person equal to himself. He initially considers himself superior and makes sure that he is “served.” With irrational egoism, a person does not think about the feelings and experiences of people to whom he inflicts severe mental trauma. This is a person who loves only himself and does not know how to care for others.

Stage of selfishness

Stages are distinguished depending on many objective and subjective indicators.

For example, upbringing, age, environment, health, intelligence, professionalism and much more.

This is divided by age:

Infancy and Childhood/kindergarten, school.
Youth/study lyceum, institute, university.
Maturity/studying, work, marriage, children, academia.
Wisdom/studies, work, marriage, children, grandchildren, academy.

Most selfishness manifests itself for obvious reasons in childhood.

The lowest level is 100%.

The highest is during the period of wisdom in old age, moving to the side of altruism. The minds and thoughts of people work to serve what should serve people. Also, sexual satisfaction relates to the needs of egoism

Types of selfishness

Throughout the spectrum of human relationships, selfishness can manifest itself in different ways:

Dictatorial egoism.

This type of egoism is expressed in the individual's deep conviction that everyone around him should serve his interests.

Selfishness of one's own exclusivity and uniqueness.

This type takes as its basis the rule that says: “everyone around should follow moral standards and principles, except for my beloved, if this does not bring me any benefit.”

Anarchic egoism.

According to this view: “everyone has the right to pursue their own interests, in accordance with their moral principles,” that is, there are no rules.

Where do egoists come from?

Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: Selfishness is a common phenomenon in human society. Why does it happen? Why are its manifestations so painful to others? What are the origins of its occurrence? A selfish person thinks only about himself, cares about himself, loves only himself, admires himself, and so on. Where does egoism come from in a person? Like everything else: from childhood!

Selfishness is a common phenomenon in human society. Why does it happen? Why are its manifestations so painful to others? What are the origins of its occurrence?

A selfish person thinks only about himself, cares about himself, loves only himself, admires himself, and so on.

Where does egoism come from in a person? Irina Lebedeva writes on this topic specifically for econet.ru.

Like everything else: from childhood!

Selfishness is instilled and brought up in a child for two reasons.

The first is a lack or complete absence of spiritual closeness with parents (or with those who raise and raise a child), a lack of true love (as energy).

The second reason is excessive care and guardianship of the child (essentially: a replacement for true love). Let's look at these two reasons in more detail.

Lack of parental love as energy towards the child.

This is a common phenomenon in the lives of children. Parents do not know how, do not know and do not feel how to love a child. If a child grows up in a situation where he cannot approach a loved one with his misfortune, problem, pain, anxiety, mistake, as well as with his joy, discovery, new sensation, this is a clear sign that a trusting, sincere relationship in no family.

There are many reasons for the lack of spiritual closeness in a family. But in this article we will not dwell on them. We need to understand where egoists come from.

So, the child gets used to the fact that he himself must solve his internal problems, be left alone with his feelings. And this becomes his program. Growing up, becoming an adult, a person who has not received the experience of emotional and trusting communication, its non-judgmental acceptance, enters life independently and does not need anyone’s help and support.

By and large, he doesn’t need anyone. He can decide everything in himself, for himself and about himself. The image of such an independent person is actively supported by the media, advertised and promoted.

And then a person is sucked into work, ensuring his existence, and he has no chance to discover the trap in which he is. Although... there is always a chance, as they say. Here you need to learn to listen to your heart, your soul. Since the original memory of what a person should really be is always present in us.

You just need to listen, stop, think, feel... By and large, all a person needs is to stop, become attentive, and want to understand the situation. That's all, and the answers will come by themselves. But here a new trap arises: “I know everything myself!” Yes, he knows! As they say: on your own!

Thus, let’s summarize the first reason for the emergence of egoism in a person: a child is brought up without emotional intimacy and gets used to being independent and not needing anyone. And since he doesn’t need anyone, then why be needed by someone? Why be affectionate, attentive, helpful, faithful, generous... Continue yourself!? For what??? Exactly: no reason!!! And so good!

Let's look at the second reason. Excessive care and guardianship of a child. Why does it occur? Very simple! Parents, not being able to give the child the energy of love (full acceptance of the child, freeing him from his ambitions, recognizing the child’s space, his individuality, etc.), latently feel their inadequacy, that is, they feel their parental mistake.

Unable, unwilling, afraid, they rush into super parental care! They begin to take care of the child, “put straws everywhere,” send the child to a million development clubs, and so on. Thereby calming your feelings of guilt, often unconscious feelings of guilt. Parents simply begin to live for the child, in other words, they steal their childhood years from their own child!

What does the child experience in this situation? His life was taken from a child: everything is decided for him, everything is foreseen, everything is provided, he is not allowed to be himself... And all this, mind you, under the slogan “All the best for children!” So, maybe we don’t need better? Give your child space to start! Just his personal space and the right to explore the world he came into!

Let's summarize for the second reason. A person, growing up in a situation of overprotection, gets used to living on everything that is ready, gets used to the fact that everyone serves him, gets used to the fact that everything has already been thought out for him for the years ahead.

Now add to this the result of the first reason, and a portrait of an EGOIST !

And so: an egoist is a person who needs no one and for whom everyone must serve.

Sad.

But man is a unique creature! A creative creature in constant search and movement! Now you know the reasons! Add your knowledge to this and start changing! Change! Return to your true human and divine nature! Since the Lord created us in His image and likeness!

And here is the image of a man! Here are his qualities and properties: love, generosity, strength, faith, acceptance, forgiveness, kindness, determination, beauty... Continue yourself!

Author: Irina Lebedeva, especially for

PS And remember, just by changing your consumption, we are changing the world together! © econet

Reasonable, primitive egoism and hedonism

A position that prioritizes personal interests over those of another person or society.

This term arose due to the negative nature of the term “selfishness”.

If, in the public understanding, an “egoist” is a person who thinks only about himself, then a “reasonable egoist” is one who is able to live by his own interests without harming the interests of others.

Primitive - a position of obvious, open disregard for the interests of other people, complete focus on satisfying one’s own needs and aspirations. It is characteristic of individuals with underdeveloped intellect and psyche.

Hedonism is a position that puts personal pleasure at the center of everything. All actions are subordinated to achieving this state. This is the meaning of life, the central, fundamental life value. Everything else is just a means to achieve pleasure. Information belongs to the Rew*Med website

How to deal with selfish people when meeting

To deal with such a person, simply start ignoring him or her. To make it clear that you already know all the tricks of their selfish nature. And if you want to somehow help such selfish people, then when helping, always remember that they can often turn to you only for help for their own ulterior motives.

So when helping such a person who comes to you only to seek help in difficult times, be aware of his possible selfish plans and hidden agendas before helping.

Difference between egoism and egocentrism

The difference between egoism and egocentrism lies in the definition of concepts.

Selfishness is a stable character trait that manifests itself in behavior.

Egocentrism is the belief that one’s own opinion is the only correct one. Such a person believes that other ideas have no right to exist; he establishes his own orders and rules. Egocentrism is more common in children and disappears before the age of 8–12.

The difference between these concepts lies in the different attitude of the carrier to communication. An egoist, although he loves only himself, needs recognition of his merits by others. He needs to share his feelings and experiences. Such an individual craves attention with all his soul. An egocentric person does not suffer at all from misunderstanding and lack of communication with other people. He feels good alone, he enjoys solitude.

The difference between egoism and egocentrism is, as you can see, palpable.

What is selfishness: is it good or bad?

Selfishness is bad.
Being selfish is good for oneself. Not a single such person will say that he is bad and will never admit that he is wrong. For those around him, an egoist is a problem, since such a person lives only for himself. People are obliged to fulfill the whims of the egoist, whether they want it or not.

Signs of selfishness include the following qualities and actions of a person:

When speaking, inability and unwillingness to listen to your interlocutor.
Enabling ignoring other people's comments.
For all your failures, blame someone, but not yourself.
The egoist’s favorite statement: “I’m always right, period!”
Boasting.
The egoist is sure that he is an exclusively ideal person.
Likes to manipulate other people.
He puts all his virtues on display.
Drawing attention to yourself.
Separation of people according to hierarchical levels.

Now it’s worth considering whether selfishness is good or bad:

Diagnosis: selfish - bad. Drawing conclusions based on all of the above, we can say with confidence that selfishness is negativity, nerves and manipulation. Selfish individuals are painfully narcissistic, they have too high self-esteem, and at the same time they criticize others who are trying to say something in their direction, challenging their superiority.
Selfishness is good. If we consider this concept from the point of view of human existence, then being a selfish individual is good. In this case, selfishness is the maintenance of the natural instinct of self-preservation. A person also needs such qualities so that he understands his importance and is able to realize himself, bringing his knowledge to a perfect state.

As a result, an individual who is selfish in nature may not feel guilty in some situations, since he is moving towards achieving his goal. But this should not turn into a habitual state or a consumer attitude towards other people.

The meaning of selfishness

Society cannot do without a share of healthy egoism. It is impossible to achieve something by constantly sacrificing your interests for the needs of others, just as you cannot completely neglect them. It is important to be able to cooperate with the outside world, to put your interests first, while also taking into account the desires of others.

The meaning of egoism is to find a balance between the desire to achieve one’s goals and the desire to help realize the interests of others, without going to extremes (excessive egoism, even egocentrism or altruism).

Final Thoughts

Selfish people hurt others, break hearts, and create problems for many. Selfishness comes with immaturity. The most you can do is not allow yourself to be controlled. To teach them a lesson that a selfish person does wrong. Let's hope that as a result, the egoist will take the hint and leave, or at least realize his stupid act.

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Selfishness of geniuses

A special type of egoism is professional, expressed in the desire for superiority only in a specific field of activity; it is inherent in people who devote themselves to a specific occupation. These are workaholics and fanatics of their work, ready to willingly sacrifice everything else for the sake of their favorite activity. In case of obvious success, such egoism often results in “star fever”. The main indicator of the presence of egoism of this type is the inability to admit defeat, envy of those who are more successful, and absolute confidence in one’s superiority. Of course, there are many gifted people in the world, even geniuses, but some maintain a relaxed atmosphere around themselves, while others, due to selfishness, are blinded by their own greatness.

Narcissist Behavior

A strong, intelligent personality combines different characteristics. Lack or excess of egoism affects the behavioral line in different situations. Women and men with a deficiency cannot communicate normally with others. It is difficult for them to make acquaintances. They reproach themselves for any wrongdoing and always feel guilty.

Excessive egoism also does not allow a person to make acquaintances. Such people tend to consider others unworthy of their attention. They are pleased to refuse help to other people, even if the favor would not be difficult for them. The requests of egoists are fulfilled by others willingly, but over time, narcissists face a wall of indifference. To receive something from others, you need to give, and this character trait is not inherent in egoists.

Such people don't like to work. They are looking for a field of activity that does not require large energy expenditures and lead a parasitic lifestyle, using people’s connections and skills to achieve their own selfish goals. Egoists sincerely believe that they work harder than everyone else and easily change jobs, being confident that the new activity will bring greater profits.

A critic of an egoist faces aggression on his part.

Such a person will definitely say a few “kind” words in response, slam the door and leave. A selfish personality is spiritually flawed, and this leads a person to degradation.

How to become a healthy egoist

Knowing what selfishness is, it is not difficult to understand how to cultivate this feeling in yourself and control it. Here are some simple recommendations:

learn to say no. Act in the interests of others without sacrificing your own.
become aware of your own needs. Try to understand what makes you happy. Take action to achieve what you want;
resort to the method of solitude. Be sure to take a moment to relax, practice your favorite hobby, and walk in the fresh air. Anything that makes you happy and allows you to restore your strength is useful!
transfer responsibility. It is important to learn to believe in those around you and not try to do everything for them. Become a manager! This will benefit everyone.

The most common behavior patterns of a selfish person

Selfish people are very good manipulators

A manipulative person is defined as someone who seeks to control other people and circumstances only to achieve what they want. They may use emotional blackmail. A selfish person instinctively and constantly continues to manipulate facts, figures and circumstances in order to complete his ulterior motives.

Manipulation is a terrible thing. Because people are not born this way. This develops over time and is practiced. And if there are selfish people in your life who are trying to manipulate you, then you need to learn to save yourself from all these evils that exist around you, and are ready to “sting” you at any moment.

Advice from specialists in treatment

If we talk about how to get rid of selfishness, the advice of a psychologist will be more useful than ever. Experts recommend doing this in four stages.

Stop limiting your consciousness. The boundaries that an egoist sets within himself do not allow him to live to the fullest, because they barely go beyond his own nose.

Communicate without the pronoun “I”. The best way to get rid of selfishness is to teach yourself to talk about yourself as little as possible.

Love someone other than yourself. Psychologists recommend getting yourself a pet first. The main difficulty of this step is that there is no escape from the animal. You constantly need to take care of him - feed, clean and play with him. Find satisfaction in what you have. If we talk about self-love, then the biggest problem is learning to be content with everything you have. Information belongs to the Rew*Med website

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Causes

The main reason for selfishness is improper upbringing in childhood. Thus, the following parental mistakes can affect the behavior of an adult:

1.Parents do not understand that their child is a separate person who will live an interesting life. Their task is to help him grow up responsible, independent and wise, and his parents perceive him as their property.
2.The child begins to be idolized and blindly loved. Parents do not allow the child to become independent and are ready to put on his pants or spoon-feed him almost until school. Any demands of the baby are very quickly fulfilled by adults, as parents try to provide him with a happy childhood. As a result, the child grows up to be a cruel egoist and dependent person.
3.Parents treat their children selfishly. They are not at all interested in his life, which in the future provokes the same attitude towards them. Some parents think only about themselves and are obsessed with their own problems. In such families, you can hear condemnation and criticism of other people, and frequent quarrels. As a result, the child’s sense of the reliability of the world is disrupted and he cannot develop harmoniously.
4.The child is left to his own devices and receives negative information through gadgets and computer games.

If in childhood a child constantly had to fight for all the blessings and attention of life, they were given to him with difficulty, then in adulthood the individual will continue this difficult struggle. He develops a position - he only needs to take from this soulless and cold society, without giving anything in return. Eternal resentment towards the world around us does not allow a person to get rid of negative manifestations of selfishness.

Self-doubt caused by lack of attention from parents or other people often becomes the cause of selfishness. An adult simply refuses to listen to the opinions of others, since he has previously suffered a lot of mental trauma. He can no longer trust anyone. Often this state is accompanied by a feeling of worthlessness and false pride, when a person tries to achieve a goal in any way and boasts about his successes.

People can become selfish even in adulthood, but this rarely happens, after discovering benefits that were previously unavailable. Such egoists do not hate others and do not ignore society, but simply have a high thirst for profit, and in order to achieve their goals they go over their heads. This kind of selfishness is often seen in middle-class people who suddenly become rich.