Effective communication skills are one of the most important and necessary skills to cope with any life situation. Your likelihood of achieving success at work and in the community, earning the respect of your friends and family, children, spouse, boss or co-workers all depends on how effectively you communicate.
Half of what people usually try to communicate to others is lost in the process of translation and interpretation. What you are trying to say may not always be understood correctly by the listener, and this can lead to misunderstandings.
Although many people admit to being ineffective at communicating, each of us can develop effective communication skills over time through practice. Such communication is usually more spontaneous rather than staged or pre-rehearsed, since in this case the speech appears more emotional and convincing.
“Words are the most powerful force available to humanity. We can use this power constructively, using words of encouragement, or destructively, using words of despair. Words have energy and power that can help, hinder, hurt, harm, offend and humiliate.”
-Winston Churchill
What does effective communication involve?
Effective communication is about conveying information to the right recipient and obtaining the desired feedback through influence and attention. Communication is not only about receiving the information itself, but also about understanding the intentions behind it. The full meaning of the message should be conveyed using all effective communication skills, including oral, nonverbal or written.
Communication is always a two-way process. Feedback and interaction are factors in knowing how successful it has been. Another important aspect of effective communication is listening.
People must be able to not only speak effectively and confidently, but also listen and understand what another person or group of people has to say. Effective communication is necessary to change the behavior of other people, correctly attuning them to perceive something and obtaining information from the interlocutor.
Psychosocial issues such as stress and mood swings are additional factors that affect effective communication. To communicate well, you must always understand your own feelings and emotions.
Lead the conversation
Who do you think is the leader in a conversation: the one who speaks or the one who listens? The correct answer is someone who listens and skillfully asks questions, guiding the conversation in the right direction.
The art of communication is in fact the art of asking questions (remember the famous conversations of Socrates). They will help us out in any situation.
Here's a simple example. You want to talk to a stranger. It would seem that a win-win topic is the weather: “The weather is beautiful today.” And you hear in response: “I can’t stand the heat (snow, wind, early spring, flowers, etc.).”
Calmly! We remember that your interlocutor is a priori “okay”, just like you. Knight move: “What weather do you like?” Even if he says “no,” answer: “I agree with you,” and feel like a master of communication, because this key phrase opens the heart of any person.
Experienced speakers sometimes begin their speech by asking, “What do you think? Do any of you know about...? Are you bored yet? Is it comfortable for you to sit?” and so on. These questions and an open posture allow you to quickly connect with your listeners.
Why is effective communication so important?
Effective communication can build trust, help people understand you better, gain someone's respect, and develop relationships with others. It is necessary to establish reliable contact, as well as to strengthen relationships as needed.
Through effective communication, unnecessary problems in relationships can be avoided. It can be useful in terms of decision making, drawing conclusions and solving problems through interaction in conflict situations. It can also come in handy if you need to communicate something unpleasant. Good relationships with people reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. You will also always have reliable social support.
Working in a team or group of like-minded people also requires effective communication skills. Achieving consensus is only possible through communication between people. You must have the confidence to influence people and make them believe you.
Good communication with family and friends can help you share your problems and feelings with them. Effective communication is essential to developing friendships and connections. You don't need to depend on other people to say things for you if you can do it yourself.
Here are some of the most effective communication skills:
- Listening skills
- Ability to speak briefly
- Ability to show interest
- The ability not to be reprehensible
- Ability to accurately use nonverbal communication
- Observation
- Ability to cope with stress
- Ability to speak clearly and clearly
Types of communication barriers
Communication barriers can be communicative and psychological.
Psychological barriers to communication include:
- aesthetic barriers – the opponent’s appearance is unpleasant;
- intellectual – the levels of intellectual or professional development of opponents, the characteristics of their worldview, and the speed of thinking differ;
- motivational – depending on personal goals, people perceive the same information differently;
- moral, or ethical - the difference in moral views, life principles and beliefs.
In addition, the psychological types include the attitude barrier and the barrier of negative emotions.
In the first case, we are talking about a biased attitude towards the opponent, the influence of stereotypes. In the second case, we are talking about a negative mood due to problems in life, about poor health, which affect the perception of the interlocutor (due to a bad mood, a person treats his opponent poorly).
Communication barriers include:
- semantic barriers – different understanding of the same concepts or misunderstanding of some words by an individual opponent;
- logical - one opponent or both cannot express their thoughts coherently and logically, the cause-and-effect relationship is broken;
- phonetic – problems with speech in one or both opponents.
In addition, it is worth noting individual psychological problems that can become barriers to communication:
- inferiority complex;
- low self-esteem and uncertainty;
- heightened self-esteem;
- dependence on other people's opinions;
- fear of failure;
- fear of making mistakes;
- fear of looking stupid.
The role of barriers in effective communication and how to overcome them
Communication barriers prevent our messages from reaching the other person's mind or distort them so that they lose their original meaning and message. There are many barriers that can impede effective communication, including physical (distance, noise, etc.), physiological (hearing or speech impairment), sociocultural (cultural differences), semantic (signs and symbols) or, in fact, linguistic.
Other factors that can act as barriers include environment, stress, context, interference, emotional imbalance, lack of interest or focus, inconsistent body language, etc.
Obstacles to effective communication can be overcome through the right means—using shorter sentences, better organizing your message before sending it, training, being empathetic and mindful, avoiding prejudice, information noise, etc.
Communication difficulties: what reasons and factors prevent easy communication with people? (2 photos)
1. Excessive absorption in oneself and one’s problems. This is a fairly common situation. It is logical that no one will want to communicate with an interlocutor who constantly, as they say, pulls the blanket over himself and talks only about his own affairs, achievements, successes, problems.
2. Categorical. Excessive rigidity and unwillingness to accept the interlocutor’s point of view are possible. But only in certain important cases. Otherwise, arguing for the sake of arguing is a road to nowhere.
3. Uncertainty. Even the most confident people can have complexes. Excessive shyness, limited vocabulary, problems with diction and other factors can cause difficulties when communicating with unfamiliar and strangers.
4. Misunderstanding. Lack of desire to understand the reason for the conversation, its essence, the problem is one of the most common factors that impede dialogue. At the same time, interlocutors more often ignore the problem than try to solve it. A language barrier, rejection of hierarchical relationships, unwillingness or inability to understand verbal signs - body language, gestures, facial expressions - can lead to conflict.
5. Fear. If a person was once interrupted during a dialogue, he may consciously or subconsciously fear a repetition of the situation and experience difficulties in communication because of this.
6. Rejection. It also happens that a person, in fact, does not have any problems, complexes or blocks. It’s just that the interlocutor causes disgust because of his appearance, behavioral characteristics or established reputation.
7. Lack of interest. As well as its excess, it can pose a serious obstacle to conversation. Excessive interest in a person may cause him to suspect that they want to use him. And the lack of interest will lead to its mutual attenuation on the other side.
8. Self-esteem problems. The causes of both high and low self-esteem should be sought in childhood. People with low self-esteem lack a clear understanding of their own self-image, strengths and weaknesses. This gives rise to a lot of contradictions and self-doubts. This interferes with defending your opinion and protecting your interests. Even when aiming for success, people with low self-esteem are obviously prepared for failure and expect it. In an attempt to protect themselves, they try to be invisible, often missing out on a lot of opportunities and prospects. The second side of the coin is inflated self-esteem. Such people consider themselves the center of the universe, an ideal, a standard. And when communicating with others, they show disdain. They seem to tell the interlocutor and the world that if something does not suit someone, then everyone can be free, he will not strain himself. Individuals with high self-esteem, when communicating, exalt their own merits in every possible way and belittle the merits of others. And this also creates difficulties when interacting with society.
Verbal and non-verbal communication
Effective communication involves both verbal and non-verbal communication. Your body language communicates your intentions just as well as your words. Nonverbal signs sometimes speak more sincerely than the words themselves. Facial expression, hand movements, eye contact, posture, intonation - these are all things people pay attention to when you speak. In the same way, you should pay attention to this when you follow the speech of your interlocutor.
Many people find it difficult to start a conversation, and some don't know how to keep it going once it's started. Social phobia is quite common. Confident communication is not easy, but you must learn to defend your position in front of your interlocutors. If what you say doesn't reach people and doesn't connect with them, then it's unlikely to lead you to success.
Useful tool Board game “Influence Roulette”
This business game will teach players how to persuade and influence anyone in any social situation. Find out the details
Criteria
To achieve effective communication, its elements must meet the following criteria:
- The sender must choose the optimal channel for transmitting information, verbally or in writing, correctly determine the intonation with which the message will be transmitted, or resort to non-verbal methods.
- Information must be clearly, completely and understandably presented to the recipient.
- The recipient must confirm that he accepted and understood the information transmitted to him.
Only if these three criteria are met can communication be considered successful.
Psycho-social and environmental factors in effective communication
Effective communication is the ability to appropriately address another person's social and cultural background. If the social and cultural background of the interlocutors is different, their messages will not be interpreted properly, since the social reality of both will be at different levels.
Context or environment also influences the effectiveness of communication as people should not laugh when someone is crying. The position should always complement the situation. Effective communication is when social, cultural or environmental factors are used to influence people and convey clear messages to them.
Elements of successful communication
American sociologist G. D. Laswell proposed the following elements of effective communication:
- Sender , a person who transmits this or that information.
- Message , the information itself that needs to be conveyed to the addressee.
- Channel , the way in which a message is sent, verbally, non-verbally (gestures, facial expressions, posture), using written expression.
- Recipient , the person who receives the message.
- Acknowledgment , a signal given by the recipient indicating that he has accepted the message.
Effective and ineffective communication
- You think so? – asked the March hare.
“Yes, I think so,” answered Alice. - That is, it seems to me that I’ll guess if I can. But it's the same thing.
“Of course, it’s not the same thing,” shouted the Hatter. – Is it the same thing to say: “I see everything I eat” or “I eat everything I see?”
"Alice in Wonderland", Lewis Carroll
In this dialogue you can see an example of effective and ineffective communication. If a message is interpreted differently than expected, it can be considered ineffective. Saying what someone means and meaning what someone says are two completely different things. Such messages create confusion and misunderstanding.
Thus, learning effective communication skills is an extremely important step in the life of every person.
To ask questions
The best strategy 99.9% of the time is to simply ask questions. In this case, try to identify and name the feeling that overwhelms and torments the speaker: “Are you offended? Alone? Hurt? Do you feel cheated? Do you hate him/her?
That's it, contact has been established. Now just listen. Sometimes this is quite enough.
Now remember, when a child cries, what questions we most often ask: “What happened? Why are you crying?" But you need to ask: “Are you in pain? Is it offensive? Cuddle, hug. And ask: “What do you want?”
Very often, of course, with the best intentions, we strive to give our interlocutor smart advice. Now answer yourself sincerely: do you need other people’s advice? Are they helping you? Exactly.
The basic principle of dialogue (let’s believe the neo-rhetoric): you are okay, and I am okay . No one is smarter than anyone, we are equal. Most often, we just need to hear not advice, but that our own opinion, position, thoughts, feelings are correct or at least have the right to exist.
How to achieve success in communication?
The psychology of successful communication is important not only in everyday life, but also in daily work activities for a harmonious stay in society. The psychology of professional communication determines professional growth no less than qualifications. In an interpersonal conversational process, participants pursue significant goals that may or may not coincide. There are certain ways and means that are so important for successful communication between people.
The successful progress of group activities can be determined:
- Achieving goals with the emergence of contact and warm relationships;
- Satisfaction without a feeling of misunderstanding and annoying long pauses during a conversation;
- Absence of tightness, stiffness and other difficulties.
However, the absence of direct conflicts does not yet serve as an indicator of relaxed communication - communication problems may be hidden under a formally calm tone. In addition, conflicts in the social sphere, unfortunately, are no longer considered as a disadvantage, but they are well taught to overcome them with dignity.
The language of modern man
must use the full range of communication capabilities to achieve effective communication .
It includes not only good command of speech, but also knowledge about methods of non-verbal communication, gestures, postures, facial expressions, sometimes unconsciously expressing the emotions of the interlocutor.
Knowledge of these nuances allows you to better understand your interlocutor , and, therefore, develop the best communication strategy to achieve a particular goal. Moreover, these skills must be constantly developed.
Effective communication training will help you master communication methods and techniques, which can significantly increase a person’s opportunities for self-realization, achieve success in the professional field, and also improve interpersonal relationships.
Personality traits that influence the effectiveness of communication
The communication process is influenced not only by general factors affecting all participants, but also by the individual personal characteristics of an individual:
- Extraversion-introversion . Extroverts are more active, open to others, and quickly make contact, which makes them more successful in communication compared to introverts who are prone to solitude, reserved, and try not to express their emotions in public.
- Empathy . A person’s high ability to empathize with others contributes to a better perception of the interlocutor’s emotions, which has a positive effect on communication. Individuals who are not prone to empathy often cause indifference in response, which complicates the possibility of effective communication with them.
- Aggressiveness .
A character trait such as aggressiveness indicates a person’s tendency to behave aggressively in various situations. This behavioral feature complicates communication, often causes rejection from the interlocutor and a negative response, and reduces the likelihood of prolonging a confidential contact. - Tolerance . Tolerance towards your interlocutor helps to avoid conflict situations and accept his point of view, which creates fertile ground for creating compromise solutions, despite differences in views.
Factors of successful communication. Communication styles.
In addition to contact, another criterion for successful communication is communicative compatibility. This is one of the types of socio-psychological compatibility, meaning the willingness and ability to cooperate, create a relaxed atmosphere of mutual satisfaction with communication, and ensure a good climate in the group.
In general, compatibility is the psychological effect of a combination of individuals, which is expressed in mutual acceptance, agreement and partial identification at the emotional, sensory, intellectual and activity levels, in mutual satisfaction and the absence of tension, conflicts, hostility in any contacts.
Communicative compatibility is a particular type of compatibility that arises on the basis of mutual understanding and consistency of a common position; characterized by the absence of adverse consequences of communicative interaction in the form of tension, annoyance, and psychological discomfort.
The group of highly compatible people included non-conflict, non-aggressive, no personal problems, non-authoritarian, satisfied with communication and relationships in their close circle.
Adaptability in communication speaks of a readiness to revise habitual decisions, the ability to maintain persistence, the ability to respond flexibly to changing circumstances, self-confidence and one’s principles, full inclusion in social connections, and adherence to social norms; At the same time, one can note a fairly flexible and free control of a person’s states. Essentially, good adaptability means a high degree of personal freedom in contacts, which is the opposite of pliable conformist behavior.
Communication style is an individual stable form of a person’s communicative behavior, manifested in any conditions of interaction - in business and personal relationships, in leadership, educational conversations with children, in methods of making and implementing decisions, in selected methods of psychological influence on people, in methods of resolving interpersonal and business conflicts.
The formed stable individual communication style indicates the level of communicative skill achieved by a given person. The style allows for further training in new skills and communication skills, methods of influencing and influencing people, ways of relieving tension and adjusting, adapting, and overcoming the difficulties experienced.
Temperament is a dynamic characteristic of human mental activity; these are behavioral features determined primarily by the general type of higher nervous activity (HNA).
Individual characteristics of a person, determined by temperament, are expressed in emotional excitability, a greater or lesser tendency to external expression of feelings, speed of movements, general mobility, sensitivity (sensitivity), poise. There are four main types of temperament, which received their names in ancient times: choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic; There are, of course, intermediate types.
So, in a communication situation, representatives of certain types of temperament exhibit different properties: choleric - sociable, expansive, quick-tempered, aggressive; sanguine – sociable, easy-going, flexible; phlegmatic – passive, peace-loving, reliable, unemotional; melancholic – irritable, vulnerable, withdrawn, anxious.
Cultural studies reveal the specifics of communication in different cultures. In particular, this applies to styles of verbal interaction.
First of all, styles can be divided based on the direction of speech.
When focused on the speaker and the purpose of communication, we are dealing with an instrumental style of verbal communication; when focusing on the listener and the interaction process, we talk about affective style.
Differences between styles also lie in the construction of the sentences themselves, in the choice of words, the degree to which rhetorical questions are used as a form of encouragement or condemnation, evasiveness in assessments and the manifestation of one’s position.
There are such styles as direct (open) and indirect (hiding, smoothing, masking the true motives of the speaker).
For example, in Japan the pronoun “I” is almost never used; in describing one’s own personality, flowing, delicate words are chosen; the initiative in the conversation is ceded to the interlocutors. The indirect style of communication in the East is determined by the cultural need for harmony and agreement, respect for the “face” of another person.
A direct, tough conversational style, according to researchers, is characteristic of Americans. It shows more concern about preserving the “face” of the speaker, about clearly justifying one’s own position on the topic of conversation.
Psychologists believe that in collectivist cultures the leading style of verbal communication is the indirect style, while in individualistic cultures the direct style predominates.
According to the degree of use of expressive means of language, pauses, silence, skillful, precise and concise styles are distinguished.
The skillful (pretentious) style is distinguished by its metaphorical content and is expressively rich. In Arab cultures, when refusing a treat, it is not enough to simply say “no”; Often the refusal is accompanied by oaths and assurances that, in the opinion of a European, are inappropriate. In the same way, direct, unsophisticated consent can be perceived as a refusal. Precise style - ritualized, appropriate, appropriate to the situation. The condensed style, in addition to laconicism and restraint, includes evasiveness, the use of pauses and expressive silence. The use of a particular style within a particular culture is associated with the level of uncertainty avoidance accepted in that culture.
The style of communication in joint activities is an expression in professional terms, taking into account professional skills and abilities, the individual style of activity of a given person.
The style of communication in professional activity can be considered as a mobile, situationally changing system of used means and methods of communication. The style of communication in activities that involve intense interaction and contact between people is associated with the productivity of this activity, the psychological climate in the team, satisfaction with relationships, and individual mental endurance.
T. E. Argentova, studying flight crews (Argentova, 1984), identified three communication styles: flexible, rigid and transitional (intermediate).
A flexible communication style is characterized by quick orientation in the interaction situation, understanding of the subtext of communication, the ability to manage one’s emotional state and the communication environment.
A rigid communication style is characterized by a lack of analysis of one’s own behavior and that of a partner, poor self-control, and inadequate self-esteem. A person with a rigid communication style has difficulty finding the right tone. In recent years, there has been more and more talk about partner and non-partner communication styles, and the main difference between them is determined by the ability and desire to take into account the positions, opinions, and assessments of the partner.
A partnership style of communication means a high degree of cooperation in developing a common position on the issue under discussion. It is also expressed in the short distance between interlocutors
They listen to the partner without interrupting, do not prematurely and hastily evaluate his judgments and actions, do not impose advice on him, and strive to convey their point of view to him. As a result, conditions are created for self-disclosure, sincerity, openness, for the much-needed opportunity for every person to be himself. Affiliate style can be equal and accommodating.
A non-partnership style of communication, on the contrary, creates tension and is manifested mainly in the fact that a person:
ignores the point of view of the interlocutor, distorts his attitude to the topic of conversation;
seeks to find a partner’s understanding only of his own problems;
belittles the partner (“You are talking nonsense!”), does not take him into account, imposes his own topics and problems;
The authoritarian communication style of a leader is manifested in the fact that he, wittingly or unwittingly, prevents the expansion of contacts between members of the group, confining interpersonal connections primarily to himself, provokes with his assessments and judgments the appearance of a “scapegoat” in the group, dictates and indicates. The weakest point in his contacts, both professional and personal, is his reluctance and inability to praise and encourage.
With a democratic style of leadership and communication, contacts, creativity and initiative are encouraged, responsibilities and duties are distributed, and wishes are listened to. However, there are often disadvantages in the form of agreement, fruitless debate and preference for the opinion of the majority, even when the minority offers more reasonable ways.
Based on the degree of interference in human activity and behavior, the nature of the chosen means of influence and the goals pursued, altruistic, manipulative, and missionary styles can be distinguished.
In the altruistic style, the main goals of communication are the benefit of another person, help in achieving his goals, activity, educational focus, humanity and caution in the chosen means of influence.
The opposite of it is the manipulative style of communication, the main driving motive of which is the achievement of one’s own goals with the full use of means of influence, pressure and coercion. Many manipulators operate on the “Divide and Conquer” principle.
The so-called missionary style presupposes a significant distance between partners, respectful, careful influence, more often - non-interference in the affairs and judgments of the partner, unobtrusive advice, and influence by personal example.
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