In the morning you wake up in a great mood, go out with a wide smile and dream that the next day will give you only positive and pleasant emotions. But an acquaintance you meet on the way to work begins to tell you that his wife is a real witch, the cashier in the store, looking into your eyes with a malicious grin, says that he does not have small bills, the boorish-looking driver who is driving in front of you does not bothers to show which way he will turn, etc. Not a trace remains of your good mood...
Why do people behave this way? Why do colleagues at work shamelessly gossip about a woman with whom they were having a nice conversation a minute ago? Why do the strong humiliate the weak, try to finish them off morally and make a laughing stock out of them? Why are people so angry? Today we will try to find answers to these important questions.
He's two-faced
Yes, such people often surprise with their masks. And that is why it is so difficult to immediately calculate their hardness of heart. They love to please everyone (we will talk about this in more detail in the next paragraph) and therefore at the beginning of acquaintance you will never see his dark side, he will diligently cover it with his “white mask”. If, nevertheless, the true face accidentally appears out in some outburst of rage that he cannot control, he will apologize for a long time and shout that he was not himself, this usually does not happen to him and he himself did not know that created. They are distinguished theatergoers and at such moments they are ready to lose their pride and portray a person unhappy and so depressed by what happened that he will ask for forgiveness and perhaps even shed a tear, which usually bribes the one who witnessed his cruelty, the victim believes that he is so sincerely repentant a person really could not express himself in such a way.
Only those closest to him can see his real face .
And not only do they suffer from the fact that there is a cruel person next to them who brings a lot of pain, but usually no one believes them when they try to complain to others about this person, because with strangers he is such a sweetheart, no one ever will think that he can behave the way you say. And most likely you will be labeled a liar and a slanderer who is trying to discredit such a good person.
Do you feel anxious around this person?
When we are around toxic people, most of us feel inner anxiety and restlessness. It is not your intuition trying to tell you something, but your energy being attacked. Angry people always make others feel bad about themselves. Toxic energy poisons everything around.
Even if the angry person seems friendly, just being around him will be difficult, and you will want to leave as quickly as possible. Sometimes these feelings arise even if the person is not toxic, but their energy is very different from yours. Only in this case you will only feel discomfort, and there will be no desire to escape as quickly as possible.
Wants to please everyone around him
Such people are so afraid to show their true colors that they are ready to do anything in order to be good in the eyes of others - lies, endless proof, etc. Very often they take pity , telling tearful stories from their past and justifying their unsightly actions with psychological trauma from them, or simply sharing their sob stories to evoke compassion and sympathy. Moreover, half of these stories can be made up or turned in a different direction, naturally, beneficial for him; they are excellent at distorting facts . For example, he can tell with tears in his eyes how a woman cheated on him and now because of this he is so jealous and distrustful, although in fact it was he who cheated on her, and he has always been a pathological jealous person.
The funny thing is that such people try to look white and fluffy in front of absolutely everyone , even if it is a complete stranger whom he will never see again. Sometimes you get the feeling that by making excuses to them, they are, as it were, making excuses to themselves.
Comes from childhood
Until recently, many behavioral defects were justified by improper upbringing or psychological trauma received by a person in childhood. In this light, even the most evil, sarcastic, insidious person becomes a victim of circumstances and ceases to bear responsibility for his actions.
Modern psychology is very skeptical about the idea of looking for the causes of behavior in a person’s childhood. The psyche of each of us is a very plastic thing, it can easily be changed under the influence of only two factors: motivation (the desire to change something) and steps in this direction.
Never admits his mistakes
Abusive people almost never admit to their own mistakes. They will foam at the mouth to prove that they are right, blame anyone around them, but will not admit to their own mistakes. In general, their main strategy in disputes is attack, rather than constructive dialogue and listening to the other side. It is not so important for him to achieve the truth as to blame his opponent for everything by any means and make him the culprit of the entire situation.
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How does a sarcastic person behave?
Dealing with a sarcastic person is a real challenge for many people. After all, he is capable of not just making fun, he has the ability to see a person’s hidden complexes, pull them into the light and present them in a grotesque form.
For example, for a girl who feels insecure about the shape of her nose, this type will instantly come up with an unflattering comparison to a cartoon character. He will strive to make a quiet and timid person the center of attention.
Paradoxically, people may unconsciously strive to get closer to such a person, thereby trying to protect themselves from witty attacks. But it is rare that such an individual’s loved ones will not receive their share of playful insults - this is the line of behavior followed by a sarcastic person. The signs by which you can recognize a person prone to cruel jokes and ridicule are as follows:
- does not show empathy for other people;
- behaves relaxed even with unfamiliar people or in a business setting;
- accuses politeness of insincerity.
Sometimes you can tell that a sarcastic person is in front of you by his behavior, even if his verbal aggression is directed at another interlocutor. There is every reason to believe that sooner or later you will be targeted by his offensive comments.
He doesn't feel guilty
Cruel people not only do not admit their guilt out loud, but they also do not sincerely feel it themselves. They always believe that even in their obviously unsightly actions, someone else is to blame (“I was provoked,” “he started it first,” etc.). Moreover, they will manipulate the facts in any way they like and turn them in the right direction in order to prove not only to everyone, but also to themselves, their infallibility. And they lie so much that they themselves believe it.
Moreover, this applies to all areas of life. Someone is also usually to blame for his problems and failures - a neighbor, the government, a boss, a wife, but not him, no. He is perfect.
He annoys you, but you don't know why exactly
It happens that an art energy vampire does nothing wrong, but still everyone around him treats him with distrust, he simply infuriates everyone around him. If there is a person in your team or in your social circle who causes negativity, and you yourself cannot understand why, most likely you are facing an energy vampire. You should stay away from him or keep communication to a minimum.
If unpleasant situations occur in your life, you should not immediately blame the people around you.
It is quite possible that you yourself have toxic settings that program you to defeat. Try not to get discouraged, stay cheerful and positive, because often our main enemy is ourselves.
He enjoys seeing others' misfortune and pain.
Even if they try to express some kind of regret, in fact they are triumphant because the person is feeling bad. This is very clearly demonstrated by the fact that all their advice is, in fact, if you think about it, useless, condolences are on duty, and offers of help will probably never be implemented . Because such a person does not want to sincerely help you, but is simply once again trying to look good in your eyes.
In addition, they are cruel in their treatment of those who are weaker than them .
For example, with animals. And this gives them away very much. Yes, he can punish him for an offense or prank, but look with what pleasure and frenzy he does this, and, moreover, he usually goes too far and punishes much more seriously than the offense is worth.
Why people are so angry: the main reasons and mechanism of action
Psychologists call the deviant behavior of people who are constantly angry and experience negative emotions neurotic. Every person at least once in his life had to communicate with a cashier, secretary, salesman, conductor who behaved defiantly, yelled, was rude and rude. People with neurotic behavior give a situation a meaning that is completely different from what it actually has in reality. They do not try to fulfill their direct responsibilities as best as possible, but try in every way available to them to demonstrate to others their power over them.
Why is this happening? Experts say that people with neurotic behavior in childhood, adolescence, adolescence or adulthood were often insulted and humiliated. Therefore, their language of communication with the people around them became the option “weakness or strength”: either they will crush me, or I will crush them.
Sigmund Freud first spoke about this, who described in detail the mechanism of action of this behavior, which later became known as “projection.” Once upon a time, an evil person experienced a negative experience and received moral trauma, which he still cannot get rid of. This experience forces the neurotic to be constantly on the alert and attack first. He knows very well that the best defense is attack.
When an angry person lets off steam, he experiences relief and pleasure. But this phenomenon is short-term in nature, because he will never be able to get to the bottom of it and solve his true problem in this way. Some time will pass, and he will again begin to humiliate other people, demonstrate to them his superiority, cling to trifles and use his power to take it out on people who are unaware of the true reasons for this behavior.
Evil people very rarely turn to psychologists for help. But in vain! If a person with neurotic behavior is not afraid to look into his past and, together with a specialist, figure out the problem that is preventing him from living normally, then the situation can be changed for the better.
He is only interested in his own needs, he is deaf to the needs of others
Actually, this follows from the previous sign. Why would he listen to your needs and your opinions if he doesn't want to bring anything good into your life? Therefore, he will either remain deaf to them, or do the opposite and say that this happened and he could not have done otherwise.
But cruel people are also able to masterfully hide this trait when they need it. For example, when a situation is beneficial for them, it is necessary to attract a person, they are ready to support his opinion, listen and assent to every word . But don’t flatter yourself - this will only happen as long as this person needs you and your favor for some purpose.
Why is the man angry?
Why do people become angry, and men in particular? There are many factors that cause a representative of the stronger half of humanity to become in a bad mood. It is worth highlighting several of the most common ones.
- Lack of female attention. A man is a living being controlled by hormones. When there is an excess of them, a person begins to constantly experience a feeling of apathy, he becomes prone to depression and sudden mood swings.
- It is common for a man to work hard, because it is inherent in nature that he is the breadwinner in the family. But due to physical stress and fatigue, a man may begin to break down and look at the world around him negatively.
- Diffidence. By nature, a man must be a leader and achieve success in life. But his desires do not always coincide with reality. Accordingly, the man experiences a feeling of inferiority, which is why he becomes aggressive.
First you need to find out why the person is evil. Next, based on the reason for his anger, you need to try to resolve this problem. Accordingly, if he lacks attention, then you need to introduce him to a nice girl. If he is tired, he needs to take a day off and devote it to proper sleep and rest. If he experiences self-doubt, it is recommended to attend courses to improve self-esteem.
Wants to control everything and becomes aggressive and vindictive if things don’t go according to his plan
Moreover, both your own life and the lives of people nearby. They usually like everyone to play by their rules, and these rules are often quite strict, because cruel people are very pedantic and want every thing to be in its place, every person to strictly fulfill the role assigned to him, which the pedant himself for him invented. Therefore, everyone is subject to total control, from a life partner, who becomes a victim of eternal checks and outbursts of jealousy, to relatives, subordinates, etc.
They are able to lose their temper when something does not happen according to plan and bring down all their anger on the poor guy who was not lucky enough to be the cause of it (and since, as we remember, they certainly blame someone for all problems another, and not yourself, such a culprit is almost always found). Moreover, the more trauma the “culprit” inflicted, the more anger will be poured out on him. Sometimes cruel people, driven by a sense of revenge, are ready to devote almost their entire lives to ruining the life of another who hurt him, even if he did it unintentionally or he himself provoked him to such an act. Moreover, they do not disdain any methods to achieve their goal of revenge .
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Reasons for anger - example
An example where this can be seen and experienced: you visit some forum and express your personal opinion or try to help someone from the forum with advice and action to the best of your ability and capabilities, but despite your best intentions the person to whom you, for example, then they advised that he was, to put it mildly, not entirely adequate or unable to accept help, or his logic is not at all standard and exists in a negative way, and he perceives everything as aggression and therefore your help is perceived as a reproach, and as a result, such an inadequate person responds to you with absolute negative (because he lives in a negative emotional state and is not capable of analyzing his behavior from a neutral or positive position).
The crowd on this forum, without even reading your message, simply takes the side of the negative answer, so to speak, by default and begins to mock and humiliate you, which is absolutely inappropriate and not even logical, some individuals may even ask you to beg forgiveness from the one to whom you gave advice or shared With your own vision of the issue, as a rule, it makes no sense to argue or prove something to such people, because they have succumbed to the so-called effect of crowd behavior. By the way, do not forget to learn about the role of the Internet in the life of every person, what is good and what is bad about the World Wide Web.
Often these are people who are underdeveloped spiritually, morally and psychologically, as a rule they also live in a position of negativity and negative images and thoughts, they can often have both physical and mental imbalances, they do not analyze their speech and what they are talking about and even why They say.
As a rule, they are also not amenable to change and for the most part make up the so-called biomass of society, which lacks analytical abilities, and they, like animals, subordinate their actions and behavior to the psychology of the herd (to the leader or to the one who is stronger in their opinion - there are no moral aspects here , only animal instincts, where the herd goes and I, moreover, this is on a subconscious level, since the conscious and analytical are essentially absent) as in animals or the psychology of the crowd as in people.
Crowd effect video
Special services even sometimes use this phenomenon of crowd psychology in their provocations, organizing rallies for their own purposes, carefully selecting such people by analyzing their profiles on social networks and other statements and behavioral factors. This crowd itself is a logically uncontrollable “herd”, which usually obeys, like animals, only to a leader or a call - where one runs there and that’s it, traders in markets often use this technique - they create a crowd around themselves to which more people also draw The crowd is still growing.
Why are people angry
Here it is time to say, answering the question why people are evil, that they are often evil because of a very low evolutionary level of personal development. They do not work on themselves spiritually, they are crude materialists and, as a rule, do not have any outstanding mental abilities and ideas, they also cannot tolerate any kind of criticism addressed to them, this causes indignation and irritation in them - they are a kind of average behavioral biomass.
People get angry, especially when something doesn’t work out for them at all, or if, for example, they find themselves in a difficult situation that seems absolutely hopeless to them, or when they absolutely cannot understand something. Rarely does anger itself in its pure form manifest itself as an emotion; much more often it is mixed with annoyance, resentment or even irritation - from something, at someone, or even at oneself.
Tends to talk about others and gossip
They tend to discuss everyone around them (naturally, in a negative light), spread gossip and pour bile and poison on everyone they meet.
By this sign, you can quite identify a cruel person, just listen carefully to how he speaks about those around him. It’s one thing when he doesn’t like the elected representatives from his circle, and another thing when everything happens, even without any particular reason, or for far-fetched and concocted reasons. He may not even really know the person, but he automatically doesn’t like him anymore and he will find a reason to say nasty things about him .
In addition, if an ordinary person expresses his opinion relatively indifferently or even with regret that he was disappointed in a person, then someone prone to harshness will speak with frenzy, using all sorts of gross insults and as if experiencing physical pleasure from what he is saying .
Constantly judging people
Dissatisfaction always causes condemnation from other people. For example, if something was not achieved in life, but a friend turned out to be more successful, outright criticism appears.
If a person is happy and self-confident, there is no point in criticizing others, because he has to waste his time and energy on this.
Photo: Pixabay
He enjoys humiliating others
Actually, this is directly related to pleasure from someone else's pain. But it is a sign that is worth highlighting, since it is by it that a cruel person can be identified especially easily.
They usually have a specific sense of humor . At least, this is how others and themselves explain it. But in fact, constant attempts to make unpleasant jokes at a person, especially in public, to put him in an unsightly light, are completely conscious actions. Moreover, they do not shun the most acute and painful topics for humans. Do not hope that, having revealed your secret to such a person and made it clear to him that this is very important to you and brings you the greatest pain, he will not use it in the future and will avoid this topic in his jokes. No, on the contrary, he will use it, knowing that it will give you the most unpleasant sensations. If you try to appeal to his conscience, he will pretend to be a fool, saying, he didn’t think that it would be unpleasant for you, or he will even make you feel guilty that you don’t understand jokes or are offended by little things. It is very comfortable.
Angry statements
I’m actually very friendly, but it’s better not to take risks with my ill-wishers...
Many people don't like me for my behavior. Hit yourself against the wall, I won't fix it!!!
Thinking about what you did for me, I notice that a few years for murder is not so much.
If you have been wronged, come back and deserve it!
It’s a pity that you’re not around... I just want to see your face and spit in it!
If they spit in your back, there is no need for philosophical thoughts that you are ahead, just turn around and break his skull!
Your opinion of me is wrong. Therefore, please close your mistake.
We must forgive our enemies so that they cry.
Of course, I love animals, but not enough to be with a goat...
Write down all your complaints against me on a piece of paper, make an airplane and fly to hell! Happy flying you and your passengers!
And in general I don’t like people. They walk and breathe my air.
Well, where can I get to you? It will take a very long time to descend.
With people you need to play tic-tac-toe. If you are a zero for a person, it’s time to put a cross on it.
I know there is nothing, but still try to understand me.
You can’t just throw a person out of your head, but out of the window you can.
Yes, I don’t expect you to understand me. You can't do this without brains...
Life is like being in an autumn forest... There are so many toadstools around!
You simply expressed your opinion, to which you have every right. I just bought a chainsaw and remembered your address.
Don't teach me life, and I won't teach you spelling rules.
I live opposite the cemetery. If you show off, you will live opposite me.
I don’t regret that you left at all: it’s just that every rag needs its own mop.
I look at you and feel how I have a complex of usefulness.
I won't call an ambulance, otherwise you won't learn your lesson.
I'm not being rude - I'm helping you understand who you are.
And somewhere in a parallel universe, kittens are drowning people. And they do it right.
What do I value most in people? Organs, at least they can be sold.
I have long forgiven all my enemies and wish that each of them had three cars: an ambulance, a police and a fire.
I'm sorry I offended you by calling you scary. I thought you knew.
Some people are such treasures that you just want to take them and bury them.
He has double standards
They usually very harshly and adamantly declare some of their life views, but in fact, they usually make these demands only on others, and not on themselves , and, moreover, they can change in accordance with his benefit and depending on situations.
For example, at the very beginning, he can tell his woman that he believes that the main thing in a relationship is fidelity and honesty, and he himself will recklessly cheat and lie, but ask his wife to fulfill the initially stated demands.
In addition, in any situation, he can twist his own words and statements in a way that is convenient for him, and naturally interpret the same act committed by him and another person differently , in his direction.
Tight control
Evil toxic people are very jealous, they are typical owners. They consider their soulmate, friend or comrade as a thing. They behave with a person like a child with a toy, they are treated like a thing, and not like living people. They do not want to share with anyone everything that they consider theirs. With such a toxic person, you feel trapped in a small space or in a vice. These people may not give freedom or limit it.
If the relationship has gone too far, smart toxic people can act differently: they give freedom, and then take it away again. This behavior causes the victim to become even more attached to his tormentor.
Emotional distance
It is easy to physically distance yourself from a cruel prankster when he is a casual acquaintance or a new friend. But what if a sarcastic, insidious person is your colleague, whose face you see 40 hours a week? Or, even more unpleasantly, your immediate boss?
In this case, you need to learn to emotionally distance yourself and close yourself off. At the same time, you can continue to have dry and polite communication with the person about work. But any attempts to take the conversation into a personal direction must be firmly but correctly stopped.
If a colleague’s outrageous behavior does not stop, you can and should contact your immediate superior to resolve the conflict situation. And if the source of ridicule is the boss himself, it makes sense to think about looking for a new job, temporarily putting an internal block on all the jokes he makes.
What is it: definition of the concept
Anger is a negative emotional reaction in which an extreme degree of dissatisfaction and irritation is felt.
Caused by specific circumstances, the actions of other people, and one’s own mistakes.
Often this feeling arises for no apparent reason due to internal contradictions tearing apart the personality.
Anger is an exclusively negative, destructive phenomenon. It negatively affects not only the emotional state of the person experiencing it, but also his relationships with others.
The more people in a society who demonstrate dissatisfaction and irritation, the more negative the mood of all its members as a whole .
The same thing happens in a small group: one dissatisfied person can ruin the mood of everyone else.
